View Full Version : What's your funniest sex moments?
yoda57us
03-07-2006, 02:27 PM
80%+ of all people quit things online within the first 4 hours.
Sadly, it's not always the right eighty percent....
SportsWriter2
03-07-2006, 09:01 PM
Doesn't anyone wonder where the OP went and why "she" isn't defending herself?
She just knows she can piss you off more this way. ;)
Katrine
03-07-2006, 09:07 PM
She just knows she can piss you off more this way. ;)
Hmmm...no response, but I'm certainly not pissed. I enjoy escaping to the blue world after a long hard day....
evan_essence
03-08-2006, 10:17 AM
Long ago when I had a waterbed, it had this huge honkin' wooden headboard with shelves. With a strap-on, I was clumsily trying to replicate with my then girlfriend the lunging motion you guys routinely make in missionary. BONK! Hit my head quite forcefully against the headboard. We both laughed so hard that we couldn't go on. Never let an untrained woman drive a stick.
Sometime after that relationship ended, a boyfriend was helping me break down said waterbed. In removing the drained mattress from the big wooden frame that contained it, he found three discarded condom wrappers that were not his brand. (Just the empty wrappers, mind you.) I exclaimed something about aforementioned g/f used to wrap her dildo with those for lubrication. Yeah, he bought it.
-Ev
SportsWriter2
03-08-2006, 02:24 PM
I exclaimed something about aforementioned g/f used to wrap her dildo with those for lubrication. Yeah, he bought it.
Oh yeah, you never know where a dildo's been before. Funny story and a good safe sex tip as well. :)
born_looser
03-11-2006, 08:48 PM
Hello Hebrewphiles..... the brother is making a joke....but total deadpan. It was the first thing he thought of...and obviously absurd. I should have used Easter to make it more frigin obvious I guess. JEEEESus. Only I wanted to put in Gefilte fish.
Am I MOT? Got my teepee and everything.
***
Dammit, I liked that. The reality wasn't nearly as funny as my comedically augmented version.
Well, here it is...sans CA
Same setup, but I'm not totally naked. I'm wearing this little cropped tee (stripperwear in training) not quite covering my boobies. Brother walks in and and we (NO SHIT!) stop and cover up a bit...but it takes a few seconds of course (Nick grabs a pillow and hands it to me). Brother says "Fuck you guys.....I could've been Mom." and is frigin staring at me. He walks over across to a bookshelf and gets some random book as an excuse to keep staring, then leaves. :-\
Ha Ha Ha.
All three of us being MOT's is true.
Susan Wayward
03-12-2006, 03:05 AM
Yup, just not the part about you being a girl . . . also, Easter? wrong time of the year, too.
born_looser
03-12-2006, 05:18 AM
Yup, just not the part about you being a girl . . . also, Easter? wrong time of the year, too.Hi Susan. You kinda lost me. I can assure you a girl is typing this post and the storie(s) above. I'm not a very good jew and just fucked this goyim that my mom hates. Fuck you Mom. He signed me up on here. Maybe its his email. I'll ask him. Is that what you mean? Easter/Passover is *newsflash* not in the summer, which was my now very tired and lame joke I wrote for Nick's brother instead of him being just a perv. Oy Vey. :P
yoda57us
03-12-2006, 06:51 AM
OK, so your girlfriend is typing your posts for you. You sound like a guy trying to sound like a woman. Others have done this better, you're not very good at it.
A woman wouldn't have exagerated the story in the first place.
Katrine
03-12-2006, 06:59 PM
In 1996 I made up a male username on my aol account and went into the gay chatrooms out of a sense of curiosity. It was like that episode of Southpark where Cartman goes into the gay chat...little windows popping up everywhere! It was an interesting thing to do for 30 mins for an 18 year old girl. But I stopped doing it because it just isn't that interesting being a man on the internet, although the blow jobs and anal sex offerings were tempting (not!). What's worse, my handle was underage....sickos.
We all like to test our limits, people's limits, play physcological games...but at some point, when you've been outed, enough is enough!
yoda57us
03-13-2006, 04:33 PM
We all like to test our limits, people's limits, play physcological games...but at some point, when you've been outed, enough is enough!
OK, OK, I admit it. I created a fake handle, email, and Brazilian girlfriend so that I could infiltrate this site:http://www.voltabianca.info/primer.html
Jeff is like a bad traffic accident for me. I should look away but I can't.
Katrine
03-13-2006, 09:13 PM
Any news on our beloved Bianca?
;)
yoda57us
03-14-2006, 05:57 AM
I got a great LD (no extras) from a Brazilian named Bianca last week (the only name more commonly used by Brazilians is Kelly). I could be an A-hole and send Jeffy boy on a wild goose chase. I'm milking the "I feel your pain" vibe right now. He'd probably call out from work and go wherever I tell him to....
Maybe I should tell him I saw a retired Brazilian named Bianca in Austin working as a CFP, you could fool him Kat....;)