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Vyanka
11-07-2005, 02:31 PM
Last night I was having sex with my man and as I was reaching climax, I punched the poor guy in the nose by mistake & gave him a bloddy nose. THat's what happens to me when I have drunk sex, i'm not aware of what's going on. LOL.

Deni
11-07-2005, 02:35 PM
LOL...Ok, here's my crazy story! Mox and I got a little brave one night and decided that the kitchen table sounded like a good place. We were doing fine until he leaned on the table a little too much, and the table tipped! He caught me, but that totally messed up the mood. We were laughing too hard after that! :D

Vyanka
11-07-2005, 03:01 PM
LOL...Ok, here's my crazy story! Mox and I got a little brave one night and decided that the kitchen table sounded like a good place. We were doing fine until he leaned on the table a little too much, and the table tipped! He caught me, but that totally messed up the mood. We were laughing too hard after that! :D

Good thing he caught you! :D

Deni
11-07-2005, 03:09 PM
Good thing he caught you! :D

He would have been in trouble if he didn't! ;D

Moneywise
11-07-2005, 05:37 PM
About 15 years ago I brought one of many late night dance club conquests home to my military dorm room while stationed on an island in the pacific and proceeded to sex her up. Unfortunately she forgot to tell me her religion prohibited her from douching. (kidding about the religion part)

Just imagine walking into your favorite fish market on a busy day. Now imagine that same fish market after a 7 day power outage. I did have a roommate sleeping on the other side. Long story short, I woke my roommate up and it wasn't by way of noise.

Katrine
11-07-2005, 06:06 PM
That's pretty nasty. You still ended up hitting it though, didn't you? Hehehe, ewwww! ;)

SportsWriter2
11-07-2005, 08:12 PM
First girl I ever fingered had a yellow-green slime infection. :O It was another year before I tried that with anyone else...

Deni
11-07-2005, 08:14 PM
First girl I ever fingered had a yellow-green slime infection. :O It was another year before I tried that with anyone else...

Oh, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. I was about to go fix dinner! YUCK! :yuck:

Moneywise
11-07-2005, 08:33 PM
First girl I ever fingered had a yellow-green slime infection. :O It was another year before I tried that with anyone else...

I hope you weren't a nail biter. :D

Moneywise
11-07-2005, 08:34 PM
That's pretty nasty. You still ended up hitting it though, didn't you? Hehehe, ewwww! ;)

Mos def. I hit it like my life depended on it. :P

Tiff_7_17
11-08-2005, 12:41 AM
Yeah, turns out I make a lot of involuntary noise in doggie.
A lot. Of noise.
Nuff said, you know?
It isn't close to as funny as these but I can't really seem to think of any other examples, yet.

Vyanka
11-08-2005, 08:49 AM
Eww guys, I said funny...not repulsive, smelly, infected coochies. LOL. :D

Vyanka
11-08-2005, 08:50 AM
BTW, if I ever had a smell like that or infection....I sure hell wouldn't let someone touch me. Damn, these girls don't get embarassed?? /:O :O

Vyanka
11-08-2005, 08:52 AM
Yeah, turns out I make a lot of involuntary noise in doggie.
A lot. Of noise.
Nuff said, you know?
It isn't close to as funny as these but I can't really seem to think of any other examples, yet.

Ohh, I like your avatar. Reminds me of Marilyn Monroe/pinup girl. :) :-*

Tiff_7_17
11-08-2005, 09:42 AM
Aww thanks, I felt like being silly. :)

Casual Observer
11-08-2005, 08:28 PM
I shouldn't get into details, but it involved chewing gum, a hotel chair on casters and crashing to the floor unexpectedly.

sander8son
11-08-2005, 11:41 PM
mine was chronicled on her by someone other than me a while back. im gonna leave it at that.

jellob1976
11-11-2005, 04:20 PM
When my gf and I first started dating, we both lived with our parents (met in grad school, and were living at home to save rent), which forced us to be very creative as for the locations we chose. One time, we found what we thought was a secluded playground, with a slide that was suprisingly comfortable. Everything was going swell, till we noticed the homeless guy watching us... not quite the type of exhibitionism that makes for hot sex. Anyway, killed the mood pretty fast. That summer also had at least other romp late at night on a golf course, which resulted in multiple large mutant mosquito bites on my ass, each the size of a half dollar. Needless to say, I got my ass to the student loan department pretty quickly so I could rent an apartment, massive debt be damned.

Rachel Hart
11-12-2005, 02:03 PM
Mine involved chewing gum too... My ex was going down on me and it was getting pretty great.. all of a sudden he says "oh shit" and I of course say "whats wrong??" Then he tells me that he somehow lost the gum in his mouth! I jumped up and started looking around on the bed frantically... then... I felt around. Of course I found it lodged between my booty cheeks where it had slipped down lol. Me in the bathroom with ice trying to get the gum off me was an obvious mood kill lol. No fun!

Vyanka
11-14-2005, 01:08 PM
Mine involved chewing gum too... My ex was going down on me and it was getting pretty great.. all of a sudden he says "oh shit" and I of course say "whats wrong??" Then he tells me that he somehow lost the gum in his mouth! I jumped up and started looking around on the bed frantically... then... I felt around. Of course I found it lodged between my booty cheeks where it had slipped down lol. Me in the bathroom with ice trying to get the gum off me was an obvious mood kill lol. No fun!

ahahahaha...


aww

MishaBliss
11-14-2005, 02:17 PM
My husband and i don't mind being watched occasionally. Anyways we were living in an apartment across the road from an irish pub and we thought we'd leave the blinds open and people would be able to see, a little. Turns out that they could see a whole lot, we were approached by a few people the following day who recognised us (not what we were going for) and informed us that the band that had been playing the night before had even dedicated a song to us.
Yeah...a little embarrasing /:O

MishaBliss
11-14-2005, 02:28 PM
Oh, i have another one...
A few years ago i was sleeping with my bosses brother and we didn't want him to know. So we're going for it and my boss shows up to his house. I jump into the walk in closet, still naked and after about 15 minutes i fall asleep. I was still asleep when he left and my fuckbuddy opens the door, wakes me up and tells me that we were busted. I'd made some sought of noise, he came clean and my boss had peeked inside the closet and seen me sleeping!!! ;D

Vyanka
11-15-2005, 12:10 PM
My husband and i don't mind being watched occasionally. Anyways we were living in an apartment across the road from an irish pub and we thought we'd leave the blinds open and people would be able to see, a little. Turns out that they could see a whole lot, we were approached by a few people the following day who recognised us (not what we were going for) and informed us that the band that had been playing the night before had even dedicated a song to us.
Yeah...a little embarrasing /:O

The band dedicating a song to you guys is classic. :D

gabkamano
02-15-2006, 01:25 AM
i've had sex with a guy and after we couldn,t find the condomwhat he was wearing.a week later with my other partner during sex he was pulling his dick out and top of his condom finally appeared the lost one i was looking for....

TigersMilk
02-28-2006, 01:16 AM
#1) Going down on my then bf in his car in front of my house before he dropped me off. Instead of swallowing I turned my head away. We both looked at each other like "where did it go?" I felt the back of my head and there was cum all in my hair!! I ran inside screaming and vigorously washing my hair...

#2) Same bf. We were doing it in the summer and I didnt bother to open the windows before. So are chests start squishing together b/c we were so sweaty. They were making icky gushy noises. :| We couldnt stop laughing so we had to stop for a moment.

born_looser
03-02-2006, 07:11 AM
The summer after high school graduation, one afternoon my boyfriend (Nick) and I were naked, fucking good and hard with me in reverse cowgirl on him on his bed, facing his closed bedroom door. We thought no one else was home but out of nowhere his older brother comes bursting in, casually walks over to Nick's bookshelf and grabs a dictionary, while commenting "Don't mind me kids." Just as he's about to walk out, he turns around, looking right at me, buck naked and bouncing on his little brother's cock, and very bluntly asks, "Nick, if you'd like to invite your friend to passover dinner...seder, let mom know, so she can order extra Gefilte fish." He winked at me, then he just closed the door, like he'd walked in on us studying chemistry or something. Whacked.

SassyMom
03-02-2006, 09:26 AM
Funniest moment probably had to be the time we were driving across Texas to visit family and had to stop somewhere to play with each other. So we drive out this country road all the way to the end of the road next to some pasture. We climb in the back and start getting busy and then there are headlights in the back window and some crazy farmer is roaring up behind us in his beat up pick up. We jumped back in the front seat naked and peeled out, but it was difficult at the deadend of a narrow country road. When we got off the country road and the farmer wasn't following, we laughed ourselves silly while trying to put clothes back on....

azcustomer
03-02-2006, 11:11 AM
This isn't funny, but definitely great.

A jilted gal friend borrows her soon to be ex's convertible Porche for the day and insists I drive her to lunch downtown - where he and all his buddy's work.

Well - you know where this is going - she proceeds to give me RH while we're driving his car with the top down in the middle of the city. While I know a lot of people saw and gawked - it was probably the biggest rush I've had.

notdocfill
03-02-2006, 12:37 PM
A jilted gal friend ....

This is never the lead phrase of a funny story. Usually it is closely followed by words and phrases like "became unhinged", "unglued", "went postal", "unimaginably bitter", "nuclear", "clinically depressed", "ER"....etc. What I've never understood is the reckless sex acts that the jilted gals do in hopes of eeking out some revenge, like your friend in the Porche. If they've been jilted, after all, it seems pretty obvious the jiltee has probably found a preferred source for his fun. Hopefully it at least keeps them from the "unhinged"..... downward spiral.

But I'm not doc fill, so what the fuck do I know.

Funny story? I accidentally swapped with a friend of mine on a trip to NYC some years ago. We were dating sisters, and after an evening of much debauchery, ended up in the wrong beds back in our dark hotel room. Turned out to be not only funny, but really fun. We stuck with the swap for the rest of the trip. Good times.

SportsWriter2
03-02-2006, 02:08 PM
i've had sex with a guy and after we couldn,t find the condomwhat he was wearing.a week later with my other partner during sex he was pulling his dick out and top of his condom finally appeared the lost one i was looking for....
On the 26th post we have the Grand Prize Winner (and an honorable mention in the Safe Sex category). :D

You always have to send in a condom to rescure an MIA condom.

yoda57us
03-02-2006, 03:00 PM
i've had sex with a guy and after we couldn,t find the condomwhat he was wearing.a week later with my other partner during sex he was pulling his dick out and top of his condom finally appeared the lost one i was looking for....

Just goes to show that some old topics ARE worth resurrecting....

easy_e
03-06-2006, 08:11 AM
This weekend my GF and I were trying to learn the Kama Sutra but things started getting complicated by asuna #4. We both were trying to figure out the instructions on the card in dim light and under the influence of several drinks. At exactly the same time, we looked at each other and said in unison: "the hell with this shit, let's just fuck."

lunchbox
03-06-2006, 09:20 AM
The summer after high school graduation, one afternoon my boyfriend (Nick) and I were naked, fucking good and hard with me in reverse cowgirl on him on his bed, facing his closed bedroom door. We thought no one else was home but out of nowhere his older brother comes bursting in, casually walks over to Nick's bookshelf and grabs a dictionary, while commenting "Don't mind me kids." Just as he's about to walk out, he turns around, looking right at me, buck naked and bouncing on his little brother's cock, and very bluntly asks, "Nick, if you'd like to invite your friend to passover dinner...seder, let mom know, so she can order extra Gefilte fish." He winked at me, then he just closed the door, like he'd walked in on us studying chemistry or something. Whacked.
Sorry, I'm not buying this story based on the fact that the timeline is too far off. Passover would have been a good 9+ months away.

Katrine
03-06-2006, 11:16 AM
Sorry, I'm not buying this story based on the fact that the timeline is too far off. Passover would have been a good 9+ months away.

Hahahahahaha...B-U-S-T-E-D DUDE!! So you were having gay sex back in high school, wow!

yoda57us
03-06-2006, 11:43 AM
It's OK BL, we all know know how crazy those teen romps can get. Passover, Fourth of July, whatever the frig holiday it was...it's all kind of a blur when your takin', um, I mean ridin' the baloney pony...Lol, pass the Manishevits ....

lunchbox
03-06-2006, 02:29 PM
I mean ridin' the baloney pony...
Hey now! That's not kosher.

yoda57us
03-06-2006, 02:50 PM
True, but it rhymes...and I'm not Jewish....

Does this work for you? http://www.aaronsgourmet.com/html/kosher_deli.html

lunchbox
03-06-2006, 02:57 PM
How about that, they do make a kosher bologna/baloney.

never mind, carry on.

SeppeSai
03-06-2006, 05:57 PM
I was with a woman I worked with at her apartment.

She was doing great things with me in her mouth when I whispered her boss's name while enjoying her ministrations. I immediately realized my error but she never said anything about it or gave indication that she noticed. I had a difficult time seeing her the next week at work.

SportsWriter2
03-06-2006, 07:11 PM
Just as he's about to walk out, he turns around, looking right at me, buck naked and bouncing on his little brother's cock, and very bluntly asks, "Nick, if you'd like to invite your friend to passover dinner...seder, let mom know, so she can order extra Gefilte fish."
The seder and gefilte fish have no timeline. That's a funny story, and I'm buying it. :D

yoda57us
03-06-2006, 07:32 PM
The seder and gefilte fish have no timeline. That's a funny story, and I'm buying it. :D

Gefilte fish has no timeline (or taste) Sporty but Passover does. Your a smart guy but you can't change thousands of years of religious history. Though I'm sure your gonna try....;)

SportsWriter2
03-06-2006, 08:04 PM
Gefilte fish has no timeline (or taste) Sporty but Passover does.
Inviting a non-Jewish GF to the family seder is the ultimate stress test in a relationship. You have to be prepared for jelled (slimy) gefilte fish or you're gonna gag. Big brother was giving them both fair warning in a strangely detached way.

yoda57us
03-06-2006, 08:15 PM
Um, the timeline Sporty, remember? Try and stick to the actual issue instead of dispensing courting advice for mixed faith couples. Besides that you don't know from the story if BL is Jewish or not.

Not up to your usual sidetracking abilities Sporty, rough day?

Any thoughts at all on why BL's boyfriend's parents would be bucking the system and having passover seder in the summertime?

SportsWriter2
03-06-2006, 08:43 PM
Any thoughts at all on why BL's boyfriend's parents would be bucking the system and having passover seder in the summertime?
It was fair warning. You can talk about it any time of the year, just like you can go Christmas shopping in July. Is that a hard concept?

I just didn't see the point of lunchbox and you ragging about timelines to question BL's story. I thought it was funny and believable. Lighten up.

yoda57us
03-06-2006, 09:06 PM
Lighten up.

Lol, Lighten up?! I'm having the time of my life!

Katrine
03-06-2006, 09:42 PM
I know exactly what I'm doing....

yoda57us
03-07-2006, 05:36 AM
I know exactly what I'm doing....

I've always assumed that...

lunchbox
03-07-2006, 08:21 AM
It was fair warning. You can talk about it any time of the year, just like you can go Christmas shopping in July. Is that a hard concept?

I just didn't see the point of lunchbox and you ragging about timelines to question BL's story. I thought it was funny and believable. Lighten up.
I thought I was being funny. I just presumed she got the timeline wrong.

Katrine
03-07-2006, 11:07 AM
No lunchbox, you are right on!! Doesn't anyone wonder where the OP went and why "she" isn't defending herself?

lunchbox
03-07-2006, 02:05 PM
No lunchbox, you are right on!! Doesn't anyone wonder where the OP went and why "she" isn't defending herself?
80%+ of all people quit things online within the first 4 hours.