View Full Version : Torn
BrunetteGoddess
11-25-2005, 07:04 AM
Decided we should both talk about it on the phone instead of just through email. Told him exactly what was up, told him what some of the things he was doing was hurting me. He explained himself a bit more. We basically actually talked about what we both want and made it completely clear what we'd both be able to handle. So Im still going to dance. And some of you might be disappointed in me, but I really love this man, it was driving me nuts.
So Im happy again.
VenusGoddess
11-25-2005, 07:55 AM
Seems to me that you are spending too much time trying to find someone to "make" you happy (If you loved me...blah, blah, blah...then you'd think of me and make me happy, too).
You are both playing games. It's the game of who can break who first. He's trying to make you into someone you're not. You're trying to make him agree to let you be who you are. There's just no winning these games...and no matter how much you "love" someone, you are going to get hurt.
I also know that my "love of my life" from my 20's was a big painful lesson. Look, you are very young. Very young. You have your whole life ahead of you...and you are wasting your time "arguing" with someone about how you deserve "more". Just drop it. He's not going to change...he's expecting you to bend to his wishes. You may feel happy now because you think he's "accepting you for you", but you'll go a few more months...maybe even move in with him...and he'll hit you with the expectation of you quitting, again. God forbid if you have a child during that time.
Take this as a lesson learned. If someone doesn't accept what you do without a fight, then they are not the right person in your life. There are men out there who don't care, as long as you are not sleeping with every guy you dance for. There are men out there who are proud that they have such a beautiful woman to be a dancer.
You need to do what you feel is best for you. But, being this young and already being "in love"...well, I hope you really take a good look at this person and yourself before you completely convice yourself that you ARE in love.
cinammonkisses
11-25-2005, 08:50 AM
He's not going to change...he's expecting you to bend to his wishes. You may feel happy now because you think he's "accepting you for you", but you'll go a few more months...maybe even move in with him...and he'll hit you with the expectation of you quitting, again. God forbid if you have a child during that time.
Hey, VG let's pull this thread back up in let's say April to see how green the grass still is. ::)
* Facepalms.*
Young women have to go through this and usually they have to find out things the hard way. Best lessons taught were self inflicted and painfull - at least to me they are.
Once again I wish you only the best and hopefully it wont be to painfull for you at the end of it all. ;)
R
MsTopaz
11-25-2005, 10:26 AM
* Facepalms.*
Young women have to go through this and usually they have to find out things the hard way. Best lessons taught were self inflicted and painfull - at least to me they are.
yeah...but i wonder when will people learn that they don't have to learn things the hard way? falling on ones face is not a prerequisit for learning life lessons...at least not all of life's lessons. we can learn from others and how NOT to repeat their mistakes. especially when they share them for the sole purpose of 'baby...this is what not to do concering (fill in situation)'.
but then again...haven't we all gone through it?
hmmmm...
yeah...but i wonder when will people learn that they don't have to learn things the hard way? falling on ones face is not a prerequisit for learning life lessons...at least not all of life's lessons. we can learn from others and how NOT to repeat their mistakes. especially when they share them for the sole purpose of 'baby...this is what not to do concering (fill in situation)'.
but then again...haven't we all gone through it?
hmmmm...
Yes, we have. :D
People will learn they don't have to do things the hard way when they listen to the voice(s) of experience. Independent thought and the ability to reason are wonderful tools that are not always used to their full advantage. :smiley_sm
girlnew156
11-25-2005, 12:23 PM
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.
--Bertrand Russel
bambiblue
11-25-2005, 01:06 PM
What Logan said. Where did you meet this dream guy at? I've always been the type of person who does for myself. People can make suggestions, but NO ONE is going to tell me what I will do and what I will not do. What is his reason for not wanting you to dance? What does he feel like "his house his rules" Shit, he's supposed to be your boyfriend, not your dad.
If it is meant to be, he will accept you for you..... and that also means as a dancer. If you aren't ready to stop you shouldn't have to. If the tables were turned and he had to give up everything to be with you would he be willing? Probably not. Do what makes YOU happy. You can't live for everyone else.