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girlnew156
12-29-2005, 02:21 PM
There is a difference between dating a stripper and dating a woman who happens to be a stripper.

Oh, Ok, this means you meet a stripper inside the club
and you wanna date her.

Next, you meet a woman, and have a date, and then find
out later she is a stripper.

Next, one then jumps up and down, and say,

"Hot damn! I dated a stripper, I did, I did, I can't believe it,
I did!!"

Well, good golly, mother pin a rose on you.

Something to talk about on Monday mornings at work.

Emily
12-29-2005, 02:23 PM
what's with the negativity around here :)...

I know a lot of folks around here are jaded.. and the reading the saga of "Oh, i want to date a stripper" again is about as appealing as a car ride on Highway 5 with Regis and Kelly after they ate a stack of bean burritos, but he's 18, he's enthusiastic...

Please don't crush his what seems to be an earnest question and desire. Encourage him, it may have low odds of working out, but hey dude.. life is about playing the tough ones... so here's my advice.


BE A MAN, and be confident, smile look her in teh eye and talk to her.. see where it goes.. :-*

and if she breaks your heart.. learn from it and move on.. Trust me its happened to all of us. I have dated a few dancers, and many non dancers.. and honestly, outside of the fact that they worked at a SC.. they were JUST good decent women. one of them was a great cook, another went on to become a model.. so who knows what and where life will take you or them.

yeah, except the odds are good that she doens't even remember who he is. We're trying to help.....while she may be the world to him, he is rent money to her.

Here's a test....go in again. If she doesn't come up to you, she doesn't want you. This only works if you didn't spend money the last time you were in, which I'm assuming is the case.

Sh0t
12-29-2005, 02:24 PM
Oh, Ok, this means you meet a stripper inside the club
and you wanna date her.

Next, you meet a woman, and have a date, and then find
out later she is a stripper.

Next, one then jumps up and down, and say,

"Hot damn! I dated a stripper, I did, I did, I can't believe it,
I did!!"

Well, good golly, mother pin a rose on you.

Something to talk about on Monday mornings at work.

Hmm nope, not what it means at all

Eques
12-29-2005, 02:43 PM
yeah, except the odds are good that she doens't even remember who he is. We're trying to help.....while she may be the world to him, he is rent money to her.

Here's a test....go in again. If she doesn't come up to you, she doesn't want you. This only works if you didn't spend money the last time you were in, which I'm assuming is the case.

So... what does it mean if you come in several months later and a stripper you don't remember, remembers everything about your previous encounter, your name and every detail of your life that you revealed to her?

Chicagoeditor
12-29-2005, 02:55 PM
^^^Means she has an excellent memory.

But seriously, it's an interesting question. A dancer I hope to see again tonight did this to me last week, when she remembered our one other meeting (four months ago) in vivid detail, including not only many details of our long conversation (it was a slow night) but even my profession and name! Seems to me that however she does this (real interest or a custy database back in the locker room), it deserves high praise and at least two songs in the VIP.:D

Emily
12-29-2005, 02:57 PM
So... what does it mean if you come in several months later and a stripper you don't remember, remembers everything about your previous encounter, your name and every detail of your life that you revealed to her?


it means she likes you or your money AND she has a good memory....but this is more of a test for the OP

ericsson
12-30-2005, 04:48 AM
Falling in love with a stripper can hurt, but it may hurt as well with any other girl.

Well, rationally dating a stripper is a strange idea. However, every guy in a strip club at least once thought about it. I guess this is the point which makes them come (and spend money) again and again, even if they beleive it to be strange. What any other reason can be to visit SC at all? Even, if some of them considering it as entertainment only, who knows what's deep inside their minds?

The only problem is that dating a stripper conflicts with the primary interests of dancers, since this is really their job and customers is the source of income for them. The rules are against you and going straight can lead to problems.

You have to change your attitude to the situation first. There is a simple exercise for that (it is not specific to strippers, works in all situations when "rules are against you").

First, you need to demistify charisma. You should recognize and understand clearly that it's all about fantasy and strippers are mere decent girls. They only wear high heeled shoes, grommed well, naked and groupped together in twilight.
Second, you should destroy the myth of legitimacy. In that case, the myth is that you ought to give dancers money and so on. You should recognize and understand clearly that the claim to your money (and other claims) is groundless and funny. That the fact of absence of charisma itself leaves no ground for the claim.
Third, you should consider what actions can be really taken against you. In that case, the worst case is a dancer moves on (I assume you behave as a gentleman :)).
After the steps, you can calmly consider your interests in such situations. I am not sure you will still want to date a stripper at the moment, since there is a lot of girls there besides them :). Anyway, doing the exercise you will get a unique experience. Now, the situation is turned upside-down and it is you who rules. The girls will feel that by their backbones and put you at the first position in their lines, since this is the only way for them to regain control.

Mastridonicus
12-30-2005, 07:59 AM
Falling in love with a stripper can hurt, but it may hurt as well with any other girl.

I hear its hard on the knees as well.



Well, rationally dating a stripper is a strange idea. However, every guy in a strip club at least once thought about it. I guess this is the point which makes them come (and spend money) again and again, even if they beleive it to be strange. What any other reason can be to visit SC at all? Even, if some of them considering it as entertainment only, who knows what's deep inside their minds?


What happened to dating a girl primarily out of similar interests. Or compatibility? When did her occupation matter at the DATING level.

I mean, fuck me sideways but, isn't the whole IDEA of dating to find out if a serious relationship could ensue? Does ANYTHING matter at the point of dating? Well I know, that to me, she has to have a mutual interest in me, and all of her teeth. What can I say? My standards are low.




The only problem is that dating a stripper conflicts with the primary interests of dancers, since this is really their job and customers is the source of income for them. The rules are against you and going straight can lead to problems.


Spoken like a person going to a club looking for a date. Yes. if you're objective is *headshake* date a stripper <again making occupation your primary choice in women> then yes, understand said point.

Once I find out if she's a dancer, if I didn't know, I *gasp* ask her how she likes her job and move on. If you're worried about whether or not her occupation is getting in the way of an otherwise blossoming relationship, you'll find out more by NOT asking if it will, and just learn her personality. I know/knew a dancer who, well honestly, talked about her work tons, I knew the kind of dancer she was because of how she danced, talked, demanded respect, and most importantly I knew what kind of dancer she was because I knew a lot about her that had nothing to do with dancing. I was interested in the PERSON not the dancer, and the PERSON told me what kind of dancer she was.



You have to change your attitude to the situation first. There is a simple exercise for that (it is not specific to strippers, works in all situations when "rules are against you").


Oooooo *breaks out notebook* ;)




First, you need to demistify charisma. You should recognize and understand clearly that it's all about fantasy and strippers are mere decent girls. They only wear high heeled shoes, grommed well, naked and groupped together in twilight.
Second, you should destroy the myth of legitimacy. In that case, the myth is that you ought to give dancers money and so on. You should recognize and understand clearly that the claim to your money (and other claims) is groundless and funny. That the fact of absence of charisma itself leaves no ground for the claim.
Third, you should consider what actions can be really taken against you. In that case, the worst case is a dancer moves on (I assume you behave as a gentleman :)).
After the steps, you can calmly consider your interests in such situations. I am not sure you will still want to date a stripper at the moment, since there is a lot of girls there besides them :). Anyway, doing the exercise you will get a unique experience. Now, the situation is turned upside-down and it is you who rules. The girls will feel that by their backbones and put you at the first position in their lines, since this is the only way for them to regain control.

I want to say welcome to the board. And that I am not treating you like you are stupid. This is good insight, but its still stripper focused.

Ok, I'm going to say it.

If her being a stripper is affecting your choice in dating her, then...well...its going to end in flames. JESUS EFFING CHRIST. To post a thread like this makes it inherent you look at her stripping as an issue. ITS NOT WRONG TO THINK LIKE THAT, BUT STOP TRYING TO FUCKING DATE HER. Sure, occupation can conflict with a relationship. But when its keeping a relationship from starting right then there is a problem.

And ericsson, I find your suggestions on how to date a stripper, "which also applies to any girl", very pedantic and objectifying. I am sure thats not what you meant, but when you say shit like:


Now, the situation is turned upside-down and it is you who rules. The girls will feel that by their backbones and put you at the first position in their lines, since this is the only way for them to regain control.

You are objectifying strippers/women as a whole. It may even be a true point, hell, I don't know, but at the very least its an assumption.

Mast.

P.S.
and fuck if this bites me in the ass.

I know a dancer who is a god damned queen in her occupation. She actually suffers at times because she demands a higher class out of her customers. Everything I've seen her wear to a club she could easily wear to your mom's 4th wedding. She's one of the most intelligent people I have ever met, she compromises for nothing that I have seen, and she is well put together and knows where she is going to be in the next 5 - 10 - 15 years. Your "exercises" make you a normie to these types of dancers. Listen to TOO, these kind of girls choose YOU. All the Money, and Charisma, and Intelligence in the world keeps you at the doorstep. She's got better things to do. And thats why I have so much respect for her/girls like this. Its never about sex, its never about love, its ALWAYS about whether or not you deserve their time (which may include but is not exclusive to sex/love...etc). And its an honor to be given their time because you know you're in a very small group to have it.

You want some real advice?

Go to the club to have a good time, and be you. Think about nothing. Dwell on nothing. Thinking leads to dwelling, dwelling leads to obsessing, obsessing leads to anger, and anger is the path to the dark side.


Mast^2

Sitri
12-30-2005, 09:27 AM
Advice, go for a fashion model instead of a stripper. They are really good looking, and less shark like. Plus they travel a lot so you get a break from them. They are in season now in Miami Beach but you better hurry. But, you better be at least 6 ft tall.

Walk around with an expensive camera and look artistic.

Deogol
12-30-2005, 10:42 AM
I hear its hard on the knees as well.



What happened to dating a girl primarily out of similar interests. Or compatibility? When did her occupation matter at the DATING level.

I mean, fuck me sideways but, isn't the whole IDEA of dating to find out if a serious relationship could ensue? Does ANYTHING matter at the point of dating? Well I know, that to me, she has to have a mutual interest in me, and all of her teeth. What can I say? My standards are low.




Spoken like a person going to a club looking for a date. Yes. if you're objective is *headshake* date a stripper <again making occupation your primary choice in women> then yes, understand said point.

Once I find out if she's a dancer, if I didn't know, I *gasp* ask her how she likes her job and move on. If you're worried about whether or not her occupation is getting in the way of an otherwise blossoming relationship, you'll find out more by NOT asking if it will, and just learn her personality. I know/knew a dancer who, well honestly, talked about her work tons, I knew the kind of dancer she was because of how she danced, talked, demanded respect, and most importantly I knew what kind of dancer she was because I knew a lot about her that had nothing to do with dancing. I was interested in the PERSON not the dancer, and the PERSON told me what kind of dancer she was.



Oooooo *breaks out notebook* ;)




I want to say welcome to the board. And that I am not treating you like you are stupid. This is good insight, but its still stripper focused.

Ok, I'm going to say it.

If her being a stripper is affecting your choice in dating her, then...well...its going to end in flames. JESUS EFFING CHRIST. To post a thread like this makes it inherent you look at her stripping as an issue. ITS NOT WRONG TO THINK LIKE THAT, BUT STOP TRYING TO FUCKING DATE HER. Sure, occupation can conflict with a relationship. But when its keeping a relationship from starting right then there is a problem.

And ericsson, I find your suggestions on how to date a stripper, "which also applies to any girl", very pedantic and objectifying. I am sure thats not what you meant, but when you say shit like:


You are objectifying strippers/women as a whole. It may even be a true point, hell, I don't know, but at the very least its an assumption.

Mast.

P.S.
and fuck if this bites me in the ass.

I know a dancer who is a god damned queen in her occupation. She actually suffers at times because she demands a higher class out of her customers. Everything I've seen her wear to a club she could easily wear to your mom's 4th wedding. She's one of the most intelligent people I have ever met, she compromises for nothing that I have seen, and she is well put together and knows where she is going to be in the next 5 - 10 - 15 years. Your "exercises" make you a normie to these types of dancers. Listen to TOO, these kind of girls choose YOU. All the Money, and Charisma, and Intelligence in the world keeps you at the doorstep. She's got better things to do. And thats why I have so much respect for her/girls like this. Its never about sex, its never about love, its ALWAYS about whether or not you deserve their time (which may include but is not exclusive to sex/love...etc). And its an honor to be given their time because you know you're in a very small group to have it.

You want some real advice?

Go to the club to have a good time, and be you. Think about nothing. Dwell on nothing. Thinking leads to dwelling, dwelling leads to obsessing, obsessing leads to anger, and anger is the path to the dark side.


Mast^2

Wha dude mellow out! 8)

I gotta disagree with the whole "one's occupation shouldn't matter" premise. That is present for everyone - male and female - especially in the US (if your not a US person.) Many in the US see their occupation as their self-identity - but that is another thread. So "her being a dancer" and "him being a muscian" is gonna matter.


And the whole "if you deserve her time" stuff is kinda making you sound like a stripper groupie. You go on about how to treat them as people and then you get all worshipful of the species near the end. I was wondering if I should say "Amen" or not. Some of them are definitely NOT worth your time and some would say "Is she worth MY money?"

Otherwise - good post.

Mastridonicus
12-30-2005, 02:33 PM
Wha dude mellow out! 8)

I gotta disagree with the whole "one's occupation shouldn't matter" premise. That is present for everyone - male and female - especially in the US (if your not a US person.) Many in the US see their occupation as their self-identity - but that is another thread. So "her being a dancer" and "him being a muscian" is gonna matter.


And the whole "if you deserve her time" stuff is kinda making you sound like a stripper groupie. You go on about how to treat them as people and then you get all worshipful of the species near the end. I was wondering if I should say "Amen" or not. Some of them are definitely NOT worth your time and some would say "Is she worth MY money?"

Otherwise - good post.

LOL they call me mellow yellowwww...

You're right bro, I did come off that way. Kinda to illustrate a point.

You meet a girl in the club, no external connection, well you know what? she HAS to choose you, and if you're looking to be chosen her occupation should not matter. I mean yea if you met her otc and she says 'Hey I'm a dancer' and thats a problem, get the fuck outta there, but if you're in the club and smitten, then if it matters, you need to wake up. I mean how many girls here met a guy in the club they dated that couldn't handle it?

Now, when you're meeting a girl at the beginning of a potential relationship FUCK YEA occupation matters, but if it makes or breaks the relationship, MAYBE you shouldn't be IN the relationship already when you're finding out it is a big deal.

'Well I didn't find out she was a an archangel until AFTER we slept together'

I understand what you're saying tho, but remember the context of which I posted that. Where this guy met her and is trying to date her dictates what I said... Now if I started a thread with that post, than yea, you could say there would be trouble in paradise. But I aint the one askin the questions.

I'm no anti-sex individual trust me, but all these threads are basically 'Tell me the fast track to parking my meat bus in tuna town'

Amen

Mast

PaigeDWinter
12-30-2005, 03:26 PM
LOL they call me mellow yellowwww...

I call him Cherry Coke, personally.

devoncassidy
12-31-2005, 11:54 AM
Went to the club last night and found out she has a boyfriend (not suprised). Guess it's time to move on. But thanks anyway to those who were helpful.

laplover69
12-31-2005, 04:16 PM
One thing I have learned about dancers is that their so-called "boyfriends" usually don't last for any great length of time, often times a couple of months or less... I still wouldn't get your hopes up though, she probably has lots of others warming up in the bullpen besides you and most of them will have there arms worn out before there time cums. Ha!

ericsson
01-02-2006, 05:37 AM
And ericsson, I find your suggestions on how to date a stripper, "which also applies to any girl", very pedantic and objectifying. I am sure thats not what you meant, but when you say shit like:
...

You are objectifying strippers/women as a whole. It may even be a true point, hell, I don't know, but at the very least its an assumption.
Which applies not "to any girl", but to any situation one need to withstand power. This is an important point - it is about power, not sex/love. The idea "to date a stipper" is an instinctive response to her power. But not reasonable.
I gave a way how to rationalize it, since this is what I am using (originally, it was about how to withstand an interrogation). It is obectifying because one has to look at the situation in cold blood to clean it out. You can subjectify them back later if you want :).

Go to the club to have a good time, and be you. Think about nothing. Dwell on nothing. Thinking leads to dwelling, dwelling leads to obsessing, obsessing leads to anger, and anger is the path to the dark side.
Well, the exercise I gave is definilely the way to the dark side: the light side guys do not date strippers :). But I do not consider the dark side as something bad, this just means to me new non-typical abilities, although sometimes risky ones. And the light side guys just preserve a tradition conservatively.

Casual Observer
01-02-2006, 09:06 AM
One thing I have learned about dancers is that their so-called "boyfriends" usually don't last for any great length of time, often times a couple of months or less...

But is that saying more about the dancers' personalities or the men and their inability to handle their woman stripping? One only needs read a handful of threads on this board about the difficulties dancers have finding accepting and approving partners. SFF, SS, ROBing and other ITC behaviors aside, there's a reason dancers can be some of the loneliest people on the planet, and it has more to do with men than dancers, all other conditions being equal.

Mastridonicus
01-02-2006, 09:15 AM
But is that saying more about the dancers' personalities or the men and their inability to handle their woman stripping? One only needs read a handful of threads on this board about the difficulties dancers have finding accepting and approving partners. SFF, SS, ROBing and other ITC behaviors aside, there's a reason dancers can be some of the loneliest people on the planet, and it has more to do with men than dancers, all other conditions being equal.

Shrug, I honestly just don't get it.

I'm not approaching it from a massivly sexual aspect or anything, but I just don't understand it, how she could be/become a dancer and it cause problems mid relationship, unless she kept it a secret up till that point. But that for me would be a cost of trust. Outside the obvious, some relationships arent meant to be. I mean it IS a truth bringer.

If I dated a girl who waited to tell me she was a dancer, how long she waited to tell me could destroy our relationship. Not because she's a dancer but because she made it X long and still couldn't trust me with that info and decided to keep it a secret.

Mast.

*Chuckle* "If I dated a girl" who am I kidding huh?

Mastridonicus
01-02-2006, 09:22 AM
Which applies not "to any girl", but to any situation one need to withstand power. This is an important point - it is about power, not sex/love. The idea "to date a stipper" is an instinctive response to her power. But not reasonable.
I gave a way how to rationalize it, since this is what I am using (originally, it was about how to withstand an interrogation). It is obectifying because one has to look at the situation in cold blood to clean it out. You can subjectify them back later if you want :).

Well, the exercise I gave is definilely the way to the dark side: the light side guys do not date strippers :). But I do not consider the dark side as something bad, this just means to me new non-typical abilities, although sometimes risky ones. And the light side guys just preserve a tradition conservatively.


Hahahah bro, we'll just have to agree to disagree.

I just like to enjoy my time. We don't have much. Why fight to make a girl like me? Why worry about power and control? I will never change who I am just to be with a girl. I'd rather just be me and naturally work through this process. I guess I'll just have to settle to leave the best to you. I am obviously not cold/controlling enough to command the situation properly ;)

I don't date strippers though, I date women who may or may not happen to be strippers :/ So my information maybe somewhat useless. Per the norm.

Mast

I also would like to point out my severe belief in these threads just being a coy play at 'How can I park my meat bus in tuna town with this stripper that didn't finish me off 300.00 in?'

:/

chrissxp2002
01-17-2006, 01:12 PM
For every stripper on this earth there's 4379 men trying to date her all at once. Best you can do is get in line and hope you don't have to wait too long before she notices you exist.

4379 men while duration of her body


Huh?? Do you want to make this a bit more comprehensible before it leaves the bandwidth? - friendly but puzzled moderator

hrb0
01-18-2006, 01:13 PM
I have been dating a dancer for quite awhile now. When we first met in her club she was just another dancer. I got dances from her once in awhile for about a year. During that time we did spend time talking. We both actually enjoyed the time together. She finally told me her real name and a few other things. We went out and have been dating ever since. We took a chance with each other just like any other couple.

Much of the advice above is very appropriate. Jobs do affect relationships. Some people travel a lot. Some have difficult schedules. One of the most important things is that you must accept what she does for a living. I have seen several guys date dancers thinking that they will stop dancing. I have seen several breakups of my girlfriend’s friends because they would not stop dancing for their boyfriends. To be able to accept dating a dancer one has to accept that when she spends money on you it came from other guys who paid to grope her.

Dancers do have certain issues that come with the job. There will always be drama in the club. Dancing is not an easy job. It comes with a lot of stress. Just read several of the other threads and you can see what dancers go through. I have been through a lot with my girlfriend. It may have even given us a stronger relationship in that we have dealt with the issues together.

Emily
01-18-2006, 03:29 PM
^^congrats...you seem like you get it.

contheboyalready
01-19-2006, 07:05 AM
I'm always happy to go out with a polite, sweet older guy that comes into the club a lot, and after spending some time getting to know him.

I feel terrible when I have to break the dates with them. My schedule is just hell with school and such.

How about next week, sweetie?

***

contheboyalready
01-19-2006, 07:23 AM
There is a difference between dating a stripper and dating a woman who happens to be a stripper.

The difference being that the second is pathetically ingratiating and a transparent attempt to be "sensitive". You've obviously heard the "it's what I do, not who I am" complaint quite a bit. Congratulations on the creative pick up line. I'm all a flutter.

dlabtot
01-19-2006, 09:31 AM
I'm always happy to go out with a polite, sweet older guy that comes into the club a lot, and after spending some time getting to know him.

I feel terrible when I have to break the dates with them. My schedule is just hell with school and such.

How about next week, sweetie?

***

Yeah, customers really find such transparent dishonesty to be so endearing ...

contheboyalready
01-21-2006, 01:50 AM
Yeah, customers really find such transparent dishonesty to be so endearing ...

I can see I should have reversed the order of my two posts so that you would have seen that I was being facetious in the first one. The job is was it is, and it's a shame it has become so much more about games between customer and stripper than even just a few years ago. This is the only forum Ive run across to discuss that dynamic in any depth. It's a tricky occupation to deal with mentally and emotionally, as many are I imagine, like being a cop. And dating a cop is, trust me, no picnic. Something to consider if you want to date a stripper.

Loli
01-21-2006, 07:27 AM
...it was a love at first sight kind of thing.
:brokenhea there's no such thing. i'm guessing that you've had several "love-at-first-sights" in your life.

hrb0
01-21-2006, 10:00 AM
I do not think that one can truly love someone they do not really know. There can be chemistry or a comfort level, but beyond that you need to know someone. This becomes even more difficult because what you see with a dancer is not really her. It is just a persona. You need time to get to know someone. With a dancer in a club the persona is usually what you get to know. If you like the persona it means she is good at her job. She may be totally different OTC. There are plenty of posts showing that it is next to impossible to transform club relationship into a real meaningful relationship. It is not something that I would expect to happen.

I did meet my girlfriend in a club. I use to go to clubs a couple of times a month. I always got dances from different dancers. I was not looking for a relationship that lasted after I left the club. I met someone who happened to be a dancer while she was at work. We did have some chemistry. Over the next several months I came in more and more. I did increase my spending from $200-300 per trip to about $1000 so I could get her off stage. She was just my ATF and I was just her customer. I never had the intention of finding a girlfriend. She had told me that she had a boyfriend and a child. After about 4 months and over $20,000 in bar bills she told me that she was glad to see me because she did not feel like dancing. She knew that I would buy her off stage. She stated that she had broken up with her boyfriend. We sat and just talked all night. At the end of the night she gave me her phone number. That was well over a year ago. We have been serious for almost a year now. It is the best relationship I have ever had. She just happens to have the job of dancing.

I will only go to a club while she is there. That is by my choice. We often have dinner at her club before she gets on stage. As stated in several threads, the key is to find out if she likes you or just your money. If she likes you then she should not treat you like a customer. I do tip my girlfriend when she is on stage, but only as encouragement for others to tip her.

Emily
01-21-2006, 10:38 AM
^^^ the Holy Grail! ATF becomes girlfriend. It's stories like this that helps keep the money rolling for me. :)

Mastridonicus
01-21-2006, 11:02 AM
Emily,
How do I turn my relationship with my ATF into a real one?

I ask because I KNOW she likes me, not like other guys. She told me. Sure she could just be saying that, but she made eye contact...and bit her lip...and somewhere on google I read that that's a sign of truth telling :/

Mast

hrb0
01-21-2006, 12:18 PM
I do not think you can intentionally change a relationship like that. I think it takes two people who are willing to take a chance on each other as all relationships are. Dancers need to be careful since there are significant risks. Then again future abusive boyfriends do not just hangout in clubs. For us it just happened. I was very skeptical even on our first OTC date about anything actually happening. She had only been out with one other customer for lunch and it turned out bad. I had never asked a dancer to meet OTC. The change has gotten me a great relationship. It has also saved me lots of money that I would have spent at the club. This is Texas so the money will be hers when we marry in June anyway.

songofthesword
01-22-2006, 09:16 PM
hey everyone.

I am new here, and I would like to chime in.

first of all, I have dated, actually was engaged, to a stripper. We aren't together now, but not becuase of the stripping (actually, the total opposite.. everyonce in a while, I would come to the club and watch her give dances to other guys, it turned me on), different religions, and it just wasn't going to work. However I didn't meet her at a strip club.

I have quisi/dated another stripper... however I didn't meet her at a strip club either.

However, it's very possible, not likely, but possible to date women at SC's


I have once dated, well, I think date is a strong word... had great, constant sex with a waitress at a bar here that is the biggest in the state.

And I have a theory.. the only difference between strip clubs and a good sports bar is that the waitresses don't get naked, and there is food.

They still sell the attractiveness of women, they only hire (9 times out of 10, unless desperate) attractive women (and this girl was no different), they flirt for tips, etc.

Well, not only was she a waitress, she was 2 years older than me, and married.

Actrually, what I did, without knowing it, was follow the advice TOO gave to a T. I was the best sportsbar customer there. I have always been an excellent tipper. The othe rnight I went to that same bar (she doesn't work there anymore) and gave a 30 dollar tip on a 28 dollar meal. I was just myself.

I never asked her to date me, or to go out with me. In fact, I really didn't tell her much about me, at least at first. I let her curosity wonder. IN fact, I wasn't even trying to get at her, it just kinda happened.

I never told her I thought she was good looking (I did think she was), I was just myself.

Then over time, I noticed that she started paying more and more attention to me. Until one night she mentioned she wanted to get drinks after work.. so I told her to stop by my hosue with her friends, I have a minibar at my crib, which I do.

She came, but no friends.


She later told me, what drove her wild about me, was not that I was good looking, which I am, however I am black and she is white, not that it matters, but she said she has never been attracted to a black guy until she meet me.. she said she really wasn't attracted to me until she got to know me.

anyway, she said that I wasn't "needy" and that she could tell I wanted her, but she could also tell that i didn't need her.. which was actually true. In otherwords.. I wouldn't mind getting with her, but I'm not going to die if it doesn't happen, I have other options.



Same with entertainers. Don't Think you are soooooo great, a girl is going to marry you on your first visit. It's going to take time and money.

I don't go to strip clubs for any particular woman, I love to go because i love the enviroment. And I am a great customer. My rep preceeds me. Girls literarly fight to sit with me because they know i not only can, I WiLL make their night.. and I am a very good dresser, always smell nice, and I am easy on the eyes :).

I buy drinks for everyone. I buy drinks for the bartender. I buy drinks for the waitress... last week I actually talked the waitress until giving me a lapdance for $20.

The bouncers even like me. I tip them whenever I get private dancers. They have a 'no touch' rule out on the floor, she can touch you but you can't touch her. I have literarly had my tounge down a girls thoat before without anyone saying 2 words to me.

Oh, there are 2 girls I REALLY woulnd't mind GETTING TO KNOW at the strip club that I work at... but it's going to take a hell of a lot more than a lot of makeup and nice legs to think i'm in love.

I don't even really like lapdances, they don't really arouse me.. I mean, I don't turn them down, but I am just as happy talking with a girl than I am getting grinded on. If I can tell a girl is having a rough day or jus tisn't into it, I tell her she can rest and we can sit here and chill, i could care less.

Understand, that even though you are drinking and buying drinks, this is her job. she has to make money, all of them. I tell every girl there, hey, babe, go make your money, do what you gotta do, I don't care, I know rent has to be paid, etc.


However, never go with the expecation of something happening, becuase it won't. And they are right.. she will choose you, you don't have to ask, she will make it known she wants you.

I have a feeling one of the strippers has a thing for me.. actually one of the two I wouldn't mind getting to know, but even if she doesn't, I don't really care because it's not like she is my GF, t's the equilvant of a hot girl at your job, she's working and you are at her job. She's cute, but that's all I know about her (actually I know alot more, but you get the point)

Winterland
01-22-2006, 09:42 PM
^^^That's one helluva first post

songofthesword
01-22-2006, 10:02 PM
Thanks..

Strip clubs facinate me.. not just the women, I love the enviorment. There aren't too many places where you can watch a basketball game, have people bring you drinks and watch big tits in your face and have girls jocking to be with you all at the same time, even if you are pa ying for it.

Loli
01-23-2006, 08:31 PM
However I didn't meet her at a strip club.
if a guy meets the dancer in the club, then she's already written him off (unless he's a famous celebrity).

songofthesword
01-23-2006, 09:07 PM
yesterday was my first day here.. this is an interesting board, and after reading some of the older posts, let me expand on what I said and what some of the other more informed dancers here have to say.


For the most part, I think all of the dancers here are right on the mark


The reason why most dancers won't date customers isn't because they are customers... it's becuase they aren't dateworthy.

There aren't too many strippers here that if a guy walked in, had the looks (not brad pitt, but good looking), in shape, able to hold a decent conversation without talking about him wanting to fuck you, knew, respected, and played by the rules of the game, and wasn't a physco, you wouldn't look at him in a different light.

The problem is with most regulars, at least from what I gather, is most have at least one major flaw that is usually a glaring problem.

Now me personally, I don't necessarly go to strip clubs looking for dates. Let me rephrase that.. I don't go to strip clubs looking for dates. That's just plain silly and anyone that goes in with that mindset is dumb and is setting themselves up for a complete and utter failure.

However, if I met a dancer that over time, I wouldn't mind getting to know a little more, I might entertain the idea of seeing her on different terms.

Most guys problem is either they are too impatient, desperate, or just plain not physically appealing.

I mean I am a guy, and I look around in strip clubs, and i am not gay by any means, and I say to myself "damn, it's slim picken's in here for women"

They are correct, most guys are usually old and ungly, young and young, old broke and desperate, socially enupt, stink, cheap bastards, the list goes on and on.


You will get a LOOOONG way by treating the strip club as in an experience, not an eposide to try to fuck a stripper. As a matter of fact, I would never accecpt an extra from a stripper.. the thrill is in the chase, not the catch, and if she is giving an extra, what in the hell makes you think you are so special that she won't do it to anyone else

(well, one time my GF took me to the VIP section and gave me a BJ.. was pretty erotic :) I even let her keep the money when she got home, she earned it)..


NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER eVER EVER ask a stripper.. hell, as a matter of fact, this goes for all women in general.. never ask a girl to be exclusive.

If you have to ask a woman to be exclusive, or in a SC, if you have to ask a woman to date you or tell her you are interested in her, you have already lost, because a woman will make it known, to some extent or another depending on the girl, if she is interested in you.

The married chick made it known she was interested not because she asked to come my house, but because she used to always go out of her section, which would be at times on an intererly diffeernt floor, to come talk to me, and at times, purposely bump into me, even invited me to her BDAY party with her husband there. That and my fav waitress told me that one day I walked in and she told her that she was going to fuck me one day.


With all of that said, never EXPECT anything to happen. the only thing you go to a SC expecting is a good time with attractive nude women that will to some extent try to hustle.

I know I am gettting hustled when I walk though the door. I mean, I know I am good looking (i'm not cocky or anythnig, but I take care of myself and I know what i am) however when a dancer tells me I am good looking, she might mean it to some extent, but that doesn't means she likes me. She wants the money folded up in my pocket, or if she is realllly lucky, she wants me to get up and go to the aTM machine.

However, I not only know I am getting hustled, I enjoy it. That's why I go. They aren't by any means fooling me. I take it for what it's worth. I have had 3 dancers in the last 2 weeks give me their numbers. I don't think any of them like me. They want me as a regular, because I spend alot of money. I take it for what it's worth. Them trying to hustle me.

As a matter of fact, ti can be harder on a guy if he is somewhat good looking, because if he is, he thinks the girls really do like them, because he isn't used to getting hustled and thinks their itnerest is geniune. good thing I am experiened with women and have some common sense.. most guys common sense go out the window when little man pop's up.

I don't ask for phone numbers. I don't ask for real names? Why? What the fuck am I going to do with your real name? I bet it sucks anyway. Actually, most end up telling me their real names anyway. My regular dancer's stage name is Angel, real name is Jessica.. I perfer Angel, although she does look like a jessica.

I do pretty well for myself.. Actually, I do very well for myself honestly. But I don't brag about it, and to a dancer, a guy with a shitload of money and the first thing that comes out of his month is "baby I can buy you anything you want" is just as bad off as a broke cheap ass.

Women, all women, even though there is some natrual instinct to want a provider, want to be liked for them, not becuase they have nice legs, or a big ass, or big tits, or even worse than all, they are "strippers"

Treat them not like strippers, but attractive women that happen to dance for a living. Big difference.

And none of that will guarantee you any success with anyone. However, at the worst, it will make your experience at a SC a more enjoyable one.

The time I have at a SC far far exceeds what I do at a regular club, which I do go to often as well, and even pick up chicks from time to time, not often though.

ericsson
01-24-2006, 09:56 AM
I agree with songofthesword, but I would say shorter: if you've learnt to enjoy everything around you, then you do not depend on anything. You do not pretend girls have to sleep with you, you just enjoy regardless what happens: if you have dated someone, that is fine, if not - fine anyway.

As for figuring out whether a girl likes you or not, it is not difficult unless you give out desiriable to be a real thing. Which is not a problem if you enjoy everything around.

songofthesword
01-24-2006, 10:02 AM
in retropspect, the same thing that makes a guy diserable outside the SC is the same inside one.

If you meet a guy that comes to you, as cute as he may be, but is clingy and makes it sound like you are the key to his happiness, you aren't going to see him in a very "sexy" light, because no man is depenant on another woman to make them happy.

However, if a guy walks in and just enjoys it for what it's worth, will pay for expensive VIP Dances and enjoys them for what they are, no extras, has fun with everyone, etc, at the extreme very least, he is going to find his time more enjoyable.

kikin
01-24-2006, 10:06 AM
yesterday was my first day here...
You have a lot yet to learn, my friend. Stick around and read....

songofthesword
01-24-2006, 11:50 AM
you are 150% correct