View Full Version : To All You Thick Dancers....
Optimist
01-12-2006, 05:24 PM
Man, all of the girls who posted pics are hot. I think you all should all be able to work gown clubs. What man could say no? And Seraya.....Hallelujah!;D
Mesmorized113
01-12-2006, 05:53 PM
My pics are gone!! Better get them back on here!
Mesmorized113
01-12-2006, 06:09 PM
ok! I got my pics back on(page one). I also found this one of me standing, but i had to cute my head off it looked so bad LOL! It still isnt a very good pic, but you'll get the point of why I'm nervous I'm too thick(and flabby). Oh and I look even bigger from the front!
Mesmorized113
01-12-2006, 06:12 PM
Crap, forgot to post it, lol! Here it is...(prepare yourselves! hehe j/k)
regan143
01-12-2006, 06:18 PM
Your crazy...you do not look bad honestly. your legs are not big, they even look like they have some tone to them.
Mesmorized113
01-12-2006, 07:24 PM
Yea, before I had my daughter I was in fantastic shape...but now I got some funky inner thighs, lol.
Silky
01-12-2006, 07:35 PM
Mesmorized, also keep in mind that you will be wearing your stripper heels. These will make your legs look even better and more toned with the added height.
venusofwillendorf
01-12-2006, 10:42 PM
darling, they're not gonna be lookin' at your inner thighs. they're more concerned with what's between them, and whether or not they can grab it.
and why won't your man tolerate you doing photos? not all of it is hardcore, you know.... most of what i've done so far is softcore nudes and masturbation.
Mesmorized113
01-13-2006, 06:22 AM
He "doesn't want people to get to enjoy me" and he thinks its degrading. Well :smellie_t on him, look what he just agreed to let me do.... :smellie_l...muah hahahaha...no im just playing, but seriously, it sucks how possessive he is, but he is getting better. Letting me strip is a HUGE thing for him, and I appreciate it!
cinammonkisses
01-13-2006, 09:57 AM
Letting me strip is a HUGE thing for him, and I appreciate it!
Hmmm wrong choice of words to use in this forum babes. :D You are a grown ass woman, not a child. Never LET a men give you permission to do anything you want to yourself, in your life. ;)
Phedre
01-13-2006, 11:09 AM
Mesmorized ~ I stopped club dancing over a year ago, except for doing the occasional private party and stopping at a club or two when I travel, I am planning to hit some clubs again here this spring, but not until I get my abs in better shape again!
Optimist
01-13-2006, 12:18 PM
You look great. Just concentrate on cardio workouts and substitute animal fats with vegetable fat when you cook. Cut back on beef and pork dishes and add more fish, bean, and chicken dishes and your overall fat % will sink fast. Do things that work your stress out. Anything you enjoy and you'll have the body you want in no time!;D
venusofwillendorf
01-13-2006, 01:21 PM
Hmmm wrong choice of words to use in this forum babes. :D You are a grown ass woman, not a child. Never LET a men give you permission to do anything you want to yourself, in your life. ;)
that is so right, honey. own yourself! we are NOT anyone's property.
Mesmorized113
01-13-2006, 01:36 PM
I know....I was very naive when we met. When we got together he told me that he didn't think I should look at other people. I told him he was crazy, but went along with it cause I really liked him(I was 17 and dumb). I told him that if I couldn't look at other people, he couldn't either. And he actually doesn't(at least in front of me). There was a couple times he did, and it really pissed me off. The fact that we weren't allowed to look at other people made me get VERY self-concious. I was always checkin to see if he was checkin another girl out(and I never used to care about that kind of thing). After more time went by, it was like, well if he check a girl out then she must be WAY better than me, since he never looks at anyone. And I mean, he will look away at anything, victorias secret, cleavage, legs, ANYTHING. It bugs me that our relationship is like that, but I feel like it could never change. I left him a little bit ago, but my mom ended up kicking me out, and I had nowhere else to go. I figured I wanted to make it work for our daughter. I just don't know anymore....I really do love him, but damn it's hard. I'm so young and I feel like I'm missing out on soo much. I want to make things work, and they're definitely getting better, but still. *Sigh* Makes me wanna cry when I think about it. He turned me into a jealous freak. I get scared that if I were to leave him, it would be the same for anyone I was with...but nah, prolly not, cause I like enjoyin beauty as much as the next guy. *Big Sigh* Oh well. Sorry for goin on about it. It just pours out sometimes.
Mesmorized113
01-13-2006, 01:37 PM
Thanks for the tips, optimist!
Yekhefah
01-13-2006, 03:44 PM
Honey, that is *NOT* a healthy relationship. WTF is wrong with looking?? Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. Human beings are not designed this way, and you are raising your child in a potentially destructive environment. Jealousy is *NOT* healthy. Trust is.
Start dancing and get away from the loser.
Oh, and late to the thread, but here's me. 5'11" and 165-175.
Mesmorized113
01-13-2006, 06:27 PM
It's hard to leave when my daughter is in the middle. I don't want her to be in a broken home. I grew up without a dad, and I always said when I had a baby, I would never leave the dad. I know that's not always possible, but I feel like, just maybe if I give him one more chance. My biggest problem is that I have nowhere to go. None of my friends have their own place, my mom won't let me live with her again(and I don't want to). Even if there was somebody I could possibly live with, nobody at my age wants a baby running around. I don't have a job right now(I just got laid off from a seasonal position), so there is no way I could live on my own. Even once I have a job, I would need to make enough money and find a roommate that doesnt mind babies. I know it sounds like a bunch of excuses, but it is really hard. I really do appreciate all of your support though. I don't have many people to talk to these days. Thanks everyone
Mesmorized113
01-13-2006, 06:38 PM
I just wanted to add that the reason I left was not because of the jealousy, but because of our arguing. We would argue all the time(and its increasingly getting worse since I've been back). Our fights eventually started to escalate to a level neither of us have ever been to before. Things got physical between us. It wasn't just him, I am just as guilty of it. Most people I talked to about it said it didn't matter if I did it to, that he should never raise a finger at me because he is much stronger and does not know his strength or how to control it.
His drinking was also getting out of hand. I see nothing wrong with drinking and having a good time, as I enjoy it as well, but alcohol has ruined Steve's life. He is the biggest idiot when he drinks. He has no license until 2014, and he lost it in 2002. That was for two(almost three but he got away) DUIs, running from the police, and possesion with intent to deliver. Now this all happened before we got together, and since I'm not one to judge people for their past, I let it go, believing he was different. Then the lies started, and I got very controlling towards him and drinking. I told him he could not do it, until he proved to me that he could be responsible, if he wanted me to stay around. This worked for quite awhile, although he bitched about it quite a bit. I felt very bad, and felt like I was a controlling bitch and was also tired of feeling like I was his mother. I told him I thought he had proved he was responsible, but asked him to please not take advantage of me. Stupid idea. He started drinking more and more until he was drinkin everyday again. Everytime I say something about it, he says I'm just being a bitch and he can do what he wants. Like I said before, I have nothing against drinking, but if you can't be a responsible adult who fully takes charge of their life, you shouldn't be doing it.
Ahh, sorry but it really felt good to get some of that out!
Mesmorized113
01-13-2006, 07:40 PM
Ok, well after posting all that yucky stuff, I decided to show you all some new pics! Today was my daughter's first b-day which got me inspired to do this! Is she not the cutest baby ever?! I swear she should be a baby model. People tell me all the time too...hehe, it's fun to brag about your baby! Anywho, that is me in the one pic and Steve in the other(he's 22, doesn't he look 16! LOL). The bottom pic is just one of me that I thought showed my belly fat, just to show you another example, since nobody seems to be seeing what I'm seeng! :P
Mesmorized113
01-13-2006, 07:48 PM
Oops!
Eh, stand up and your belly'll look better, put on 8" heels and it'll almost go away.
Everytime I say something about it, he says I'm just being a bitch and he can do what he wants.
So you don't want your daughter to grow up in a "broken" home, but you want her to grow up seeing you treated like that?
Yekhefah
01-13-2006, 08:42 PM
It's hard to leave when my daughter is in the middle. I don't want her to be in a broken home. I grew up without a dad, and I always said when I had a baby, I would never leave the dad.
I don't get this at all. No dad is better than a bad one! I would rather my kid developed a healthy view of relationships and had other good male role models. You're not doing your daughter any favors by raising her in a bad relationship with a possessive asshole who treats her mother like property. She's watching you to learn how people should treat her when she's older. Just think of that.
And yes, my parents are divorced. My mom stayed single until I was nine, when she married a man who treated us both right. I love my dad too, but I'm eternally grateful that I was not subjected to their miserable relationship.
Silky
01-13-2006, 09:17 PM
Same here... my mom got out of her miserable relationship with my dad when i was born. She stayed strong and single while raising my older sister and I... and is still single. She had some relationships in between. They treated her well but nothing ended up in marriage. Also, this is not to judge and say your man is not a good father and the child should not see him. My dad is a great father to me... it just did not work wih my mom. I still got to see him throughout my life and all, I am 21 now. So just think about that... your happiness is important as well. Dont forget that. A child is happy when their rolemodels are happy. You can use dancing to get back onto your feet and start living your life exactly how you want it. You are young and beautiful and still would be a good mom single., you should never have to "settle", you will be able to make it work even with a kid if you have to. My mom did... and she now is my number one role model for having the courage to leave and be on her own =) If you feel there is some hope for the relationship, try family counseling or alcohol abuse programs? Whatever you feel you can do...After that, you will not have any regrets about moving on with your life single. You will have the satisfaction that you did everything you could have did to preserve what was left. Sorry this is off topic but it added right on to the last post.
ga_dancer05
01-13-2006, 09:39 PM
I think you look great now. You don't look big to me at all. Besides, a lot of guys don't like the super skinny model look. I'm actually trying to gain about ten pounds now.
PS..Your baby is very cute ;)
regan143
01-13-2006, 10:05 PM
Yes, that baby is so cute. She is just a doll.
Mesmorized113
01-14-2006, 07:41 AM
No, I definitely don't want my daughter growing up watching the way we are with eachother! That's why I left in the first place. I know I could do it again, I just don't have anywhere to go, that's my biggest problem. I feel really guilty starting to dance and knowing that I am going to leave him once I'm able to, but I suppose I have to do what I have to do!
As far as the alcohol-counseling goes, I have mentioned it numerous time, but he will not go. He already had to go to it when he first got in trouble, but he is very good at deceiving people and making them believe he is a little angel. At this point right now, he denies that he has a problem. He has cut back some, but I don't think it matters. I do, however, feel like I should stick by him through thick and thin. I'm the only one who has ever been able to kick his life into shape(at least for awhile). He is much more responsible and motivated since we've gotten together, and I don't want to see him fail if I leave(does that sound ridiculous?) It's just that when I left, he fell hard, and I don't want my daughter to have a father like that! Don't get me wrong, he is a really good person and a wonderful father, he just has a lot of problems. I know I can't be his mother anymore, and I am, quite frankly, tired of it. Regardless of everything, I feel like we really do belong together. Maybe I should just give it some time, wait a few years(or however long it takes) until I KNOW he has changed. I guess I need to stop feeling bad for him, and start making things better for myself.
Do you think I should stick around for awhile, start dancing, and then once I feel financially stable, get my own place?
Mesmorized113
01-14-2006, 07:50 AM
Thanks gadancer and regan!
greggy
01-14-2006, 09:32 AM
Wow you look really hot Buffie! Look a lot like me before I had my daughter! I know once I get myself toned again I'm gonna be one sexy MILF...hahaha! A 20year old(in 2 weeks) MILF.....thats funny!
Sometimes I get myself goin on nothing :-D *Sigh*
HAHAHA, I like to think that about myself too. My baby is due a month after my 20th birthday and I'm like, "I get to be a MILF at 20, what do you have?"
greggy
01-14-2006, 10:09 AM
Do you think I should stick around for awhile, start dancing, and then once I feel financially stable, get my own place?
Oh, and YES! I understand how you feel, the emotional attachment, the wanting to see him do well, and all that jazz. If you're willing to make the investment, couples counseling yould be fantastic. Still, you need to be prepared to leave if ever necessary (the amighty FU money). Save, save, save while you are with him. If you really want to give it one more try, then do it, but set a limit. Create a point that you'll say, "Ok, I've had enough." If it ever reaches that point, then take your FU money and go. That's the number one thing I learned from my mother: a woman must me able support herself and her children; if you need to leave the man, then do that. That doesn't mean that Daddy can't be there. In fact, you and your daughter may even be happier like that (by the way, she is SO cute).
Mastridonicus
01-14-2006, 10:34 AM
Lena:
Wow, not what I pictured at all...tho... there is something on your face......... :D
But we're the exact same height...thats sexified.
But still 'thick' in my opinion can only be a crutch if you're not comfortable with it. I don't really care until I see a FUPA, but then she shouldn't be dancing anyways.
I must say, however, you further my point on how attitude, doesn't make up for anything, but goes a LONG way. Its in your pose, how you hold your dress, how you smile...its just THERE. <not fawning just making a point....got any downy paper towels over there?> Now the mere thought of you beating the ever loving piss out of a guy upon his request also ads towards the mysterious humor of life, but its attracting nonetheless. Now make a thread 'Would you buy dances from me' So I can take you down a few pegs huh?
Hahaha Seriously tho, looks get you in the door, but not everyone looks the same. My money always went to the Presence. The one that the moment you saw you knew if you didn't act now, you'd have to wait for.
MESMORIZED113:
This isn't picture post but what a cute baby! What a little smile on her huh?
Life will continue to hand you a lot of hard decisions, but just because the door in front of you is shut doesn't mean there arent others open. Never ever regret anything especially that little sweetie you got <not saying you do> and really dig to find a light at the end of the tunnel, and if you cant see one, then make little goals for yourself day by day and you'll notice you're doing fine. Lose the zero, get with a hero....
Greggy: I just fear how the baby in your avatar is going to handle the newborn competition. :D
Mesmorized113
01-14-2006, 11:24 AM
Greggy~ You're gonna have so much fun with your little one! It's a blast! I know probably everyone in the world has told you this, but seriously savor every moment you have with them! This year has flown by! Your baby is gonna be the best thing that ever happened to you!! Oh, by the way, she's a girl(note the pink...lol jk).
Mastri~I feel like I've been diggin for ever with this guy. All I keep finding is more dirt! I really think he needs a few years before he can be a man. It seems like everyone else thinks I should leave him, and as much as I don't want to, I really think I should too. Sometimes life can really blow balls!
Mesmorized113
01-15-2006, 10:51 AM
Mastr~ what is FUPA??
All of us lusicous, curvy women~ What do you find flatters your figure the best? I know I can't wear the same things as a girl whose a size 2. What works for you?
Magdalena_666
01-15-2006, 12:09 PM
Hi mesmorized.
I just wanted to say that I think you will do very well as a dancer you have a very pretty face. Great lips and eyes:)
venusofwillendorf
01-15-2006, 12:22 PM
mesmorized, come live with my bf and i if you have to. i love babies, raised one, and we have a spare room. but do not stay in an abusive relationship. especially for your daughter's sake. an alchoholic who hits women is not a father- he is a criminal, and a predator. how long do you think it'll be before he decides your baby girl was pissing him off? my father was an alchoholic, and abusive, and not a day goes by when i didn't wish my mother left him long ago. she didn't kick him out of the house until i attempted suicide at 13, and the social workers told her she had to pick him or me. don't let your daughter grow up in a hell hole like that honey. you can get into a battered women's shelter immediately. if you don't want to, come live here. please. just get out. my bf has a friend who works in a battered women's shelter in jersey. if you want information, pm me. and i'm serious- you can come live here.
and yes, she is beautiful. and so are you. :)
Mesmorized113
01-15-2006, 02:35 PM
Thanks magdelena and venus...I wrote you both pm's :)
Alexus
03-04-2006, 01:10 AM
mesmorized god damn we hvae alot in common except my daughter is one year older her bithday was Feb 12th. I am trying to get back into stripping so I can divorce this loser and move out so I wish you the best of luck! I totally understand not being able to leave because of what your daughter will see I feel the same way if I could move out close to our house then she could visit him alot I just wouldn't have to deal with the bastard on a regular basis
Mesmorized113
03-05-2006, 08:02 PM
Thanks a bunch! I hope everything goes well for you! I actually ended up leaving him finally!!! I am loving my life! I met another guy that I'm now dating a lil bit and he's great, so there are plenty more opportunities out there for you! I finally gave up when he hit my shoulder a couple times and ended up almost breaking it. I had it after that. I hope you don't have to reach a point like that to leave, but if you do, please take that opportunity to get the hell out of there! It's not worth working things out, they'll never change until they want to, and at this point I'm sure your man isn't ready. Sometimes people have to lose everything in their life before they can step up to the plate, admit they were wrong, and do everything in their power to change their lives. It sucks, but hey, that's just the shit life throws at you! I'm just taking this relationship as a learning experience. I learned so much about myself and how relationships should(or more like shouldn't be). Now I just have to work on learning how they should be. Maybe I'll get the chance with this new guy! Again, I hope you get the courage to walk away! Remember, you don't want your daughter growing up in that situation. You'll be so much happier once you leave. I'm not saying you won't get down, waaay down at points, but you'll get through it, and in the end(no matter how long it takes you) you'll be glad you did it.