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View Full Version : who's decided not to get married or have kids?



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BlondeGirl
02-13-2006, 02:16 AM
I definately agree with GoldCoastGirl and support all you ladies who do not want or NEED to have children. I had thought I would when I was younger, when your still trying to digest all the millions of stupid and ridiculous ideas/beliefs of the world being thrust down your throat whilst you are trying to devlop your own sense, but have come to my senses. lol.

I do enjoy children (I can't stand screaming brats!) but god almighty there are far to many unwanted, unloved, abandoned, abused children in the world. Far too many unequipt, inept humans are popping out babies and failing to raise and provide for them proper, and thus preventing our civilization to progress in a positive spiritual and healthy manner. If I would ever bring love to a child it would be to help those here and suffering. It is natural to have maternal needs, but that can easily be satified with animals...especially puppies! I can't wait to have my tubes tied!

And GCGirl- regarding those people who find their own vomitous beliefs unable to be kept inside thier mouth to be spewed upon others..ie bible beaters, pro family/kids, etc...fuck um'. Sarcasm is always the answer ..if that doesn't work, reverse the insult ("maybe you'll change your mind about needing that nose job", etc...)

Oh...and I definately WILL be getting married...I'm just a love sick romantic at heart.

Bella21
02-13-2006, 11:52 AM
I def. want to marry... I don't know if I want kids though... maybe WAY later... and maybe ONE!

dolliest
02-14-2006, 12:14 AM
marriage (or rather an equivilant LTR) seems very unlikely for my future (but I might change my mind on this one, never can tell)

and I no longer have any wish to have children. two miscarriages destroyed any desires or hopes on that front

exactly
02-14-2006, 12:21 AM
i don't really want kids or to get married. it seems like marriages just sortof kill everything. i don't like the societal expectations of marriage. once you're married, you're expected to have kids. if you don't, everyone's like, what's wrong with you? then again, people say that if you're not married, too.

i don't want kids, but i feel guilty not using a working reproductive system that a lot of women would kill to have. i'll probably end up donating eggs at some point, and i wouldn't mind being a foster uterus to someone close to me that wanted to have kids but just couldn't. sure i'll have your baby!

AlexxaHex
02-14-2006, 07:14 PM
I have no desire to raise children, but I don't want to be old, so I guess I won't need anyone to take care of me. I always said that if I live to be 65, I'm going to start doing heroin.
lol

Marriage is a possibility, if and when the time is right. I would probably say 'yes' if my boyfriend proposed to me...but a legal marriage isn't something I see as necessary...it could be as simple as a bonding ceremony.

FrustratedBunny
02-14-2006, 09:41 PM
I always said that if I live to be 65, I'm going to start doing heroin.

OMG that is so funny you say that because I always say that too, but I usually say when I'm 75 or older.

what is funny is when I interned in criminal court a few years ago this old guy came in with his oxygen tank and appeared before the judge and was ordered to take a drug test. He tested positive for heroin and the judge revoked his parole and threw the old dude back in jail. I mean come on let the old guy be a junkie if he wants!

Nautilus
02-14-2006, 10:03 PM
from about 14 to 28 i was absolutely cast-iron adamant that kids were the handywork of the devil. there was absolutely zero chance that i would ever torment myself for many decades by having children.

other reasons were:
bringing them into this world full of hate, violence, serious drugs, pollution etc
that 3 out of 4 kids are abused by someone they know
that it's hard enough being a woman who wants a career without having to stop it for babies.

oh, and GCG - during those 14 years i had one answer for those who tried to say 'you'll change'. it was this:

"i can't have children".

you don't say why, you don't need to, it just shuts them up awkwardly.

what is retarded is that one day at 28 years old i met someone who woke up the baby-having thing in me. i can't explain it because my brain still tells me not to do it. my body on the other hand is totally on the make all the time trying to sneakily get me knocked up. ovulation moves around all the time... sometimes day 10, sometimes day 16... always trying to trick me...

my body has been so convincing that it's sounding like a good idea.

maybe our grandmothers know shit. when you find someone that tickles your baby gland... so to speak, there's no stopping nature. i got married and haven't got knocked up yet, though i doubt i'll be upset if i do...

so, in the meantime - shut the nosey bastards up - but always keep the door open until the last possible minute in case you meet the person that absolutely instinctually compels you to want to have a baby with them. it's a crazy, crazy thing - and i swear before now i would have bet the world i wouldn't want kids.

Green Apple
02-15-2006, 03:19 PM
I know i want to get married one day, i used to think right now in my early twenties (partly becuase 90% of my friends under 25 are married by now!) but part of me says to wait until i'm stable in a good paying job, maybe have a nice house/condo etc around 33-36 ish. Kids.. eh, i work in a preschool and LOVE them, but i don't think they are for me personally.

jselton
02-15-2006, 04:19 PM
marriage, sure...i agree with what Goldcoastgirl said about wanting to be married for love, though, not because "well, i signed a piece of paper a few years ago so i guess i'll stay with her..." Whether we ever sign the papers or not, I know I want to be with my SO forever...and he says the same thing, so i consider myself lucky there ^_^

kids: oh HELL NO! I would rather shoot myself in the head than have a kid. And I really don't give a damn if that's "selfish". I can't stand children.

fancygirl
02-15-2006, 05:53 PM
Nautilus: Now, if people went around trying to convince me with your argument, I wouldn't be angry with them. That is a beautiful, what-if statement that still allows me to say as a woman, "well, I probably won't have them, but yeah, there's perhaps a less than one percent chance that I will change my mind based on amazing events outside my control." But if I tell the bastards this then they act like that teeny tiny chance corroborates their point.

Nautilus
02-15-2006, 06:16 PM
i think people like to make baby-making-age girls protest and squirm about it.

sadistic bastards. i mean do they REALLY have a vested interest. i don't think so.

it's pretty patronising of older people to say, 'you'll change'. they're probably right but no one likes to be told how they're going to be. especially at 22 -- i actually remember saying, 'well i hope Depo makes me infertile'

d'oh. it probably did.

fancygirl
02-15-2006, 06:18 PM
gosh that'd be nice. even if I did change my mind, I really hope I'd adopt to a) help out another kid already in existence, and b) not fuck up my body.

8eyespyder
03-15-2006, 08:46 PM
I see myself as a vibrant old lady with pets, friends, hobbies and great stories to tell. I plan to still be painting, still be flamenco dancing, and being a hot old fox, like my grandma was. When I think of husband or kids being in the picture, it makes me want to run from that vision. Knowing who I am, the domestic drudgery would truly kill me, and I would probably eventually leave any family unit/domestic arrangement I was a part of. What I want to accomplish doesn't have room for kids or a husband. I don't regret that at all--I want neither! I think I'd have to agree with this,,, and I feel better now knowing thatt here are other women out there like this,, I felt like I was the only one, specialy now that so many people I know are getting married and having kids, I feelt like maybe there was something wrong with me for not wanting it,, but now I know there isn't.

8eyespyder
03-15-2006, 08:51 PM
gosh that'd be nice. even if I did change my mind, I really hope I'd adopt to a) help out another kid already in existence, and b) not fuck up my body. I totally agree with B8) !

DylanAngel
03-16-2006, 07:11 AM
It's funny the difference a few months can make. When I thought my fiance and I were breaking up a few months back, all I could think about was the fact that I was 39 and wanted another child.

Now, that we are thriving and I've come into some money and the Big 4-0 is looming, I have decided that it's time for me to have some fun. Not a bad deal to be 40 with a whole bunch of toys and the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want for the rest of your life, I think.

I admire you women for your honesty. There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. At my age now, I prefer being the coolest aunt I can be!!!

misssteere
03-16-2006, 08:12 AM
No marriage or kids for me! Life just hasn't worked out that way for me yet. I'd rather be single with no kids than single, married (or divorced) with kids from an unhappy relationship. I don't know one REALLY happy marriage. If I ever find Mr. Right, I'll do it, but I'll never settle for "Mr. all right for right now." I've seen too many customers sitting in the club just to momentarily escape unhappy relationships. I've also heard too many girls in the club tell their sad stories of neglect, abuse and general poor treatment from their men. I still believe in love and even Prince Charming, but so far, he hasn't materialized.

Star_bare_elegance
03-16-2006, 09:15 AM
I want to be in a happy and productive marriage and 6 years later :-) I want to travel the road to having 3 healthy, talented, smart and beautiful children.