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easy_e
03-01-2006, 08:42 AM
Hi, I'm new to this site, apologize for not introducing myself previously. I have a problem, not expecting any miraculous solution, just feedback. After a lengthy hiatus (5 years) I returned to the strip club scene wiser (I thought) and with a much larger disposable income. At first it was incredibly fun and exciting, the girls and waitresses all fought over me, told me I was good looking, cool to talk to, etc. and I even had some activity OTC. I really didn't spend much money, maybe 100-300 a night at most. Good fun for reasonable $$ as far as I'm concerned.

Here's the problem, if you haven't already guessed. I've become infatuated ( ok, in love) with a dancer with the usual abusive deadbeat loser husband/boyfriend they seem to gravitate to. I simply can't say no to her, she has my phone # and almost every time she calls I end up going to see her. I know she's using me, sometimes she gets significant cash from me for absolutely nothing or just to cry on my shoulder. It pisses me off big time that the $$ I give her goes straight to mr. thug BF so he can continue his non-working druggie lifestyle of doing nothing for her except occaisonally beating the shit out of her and destroying any gifts I buy to help her with her job (body mist, outfits, etc.). BTW he knows about me, has met me and basically hates me and is extremely jealous of me.

I already know what to do-stop seeing her NOW. As crazy as it sounds, its going to hurt a lot and already does. It will be the second hardest thing I've ever done. (the first was leaving an 18 year marrriage to a beautiful and severely disturbed woman, not a stripper BTW) I've lost my power and turned from a semi-player to a PL,
so go ahead and slam me and tell me how stupid I am. Sorry this post was so long, I guess I'm just venting.

bikinigirl04
03-01-2006, 09:10 AM
you answered your own question.....

getting involved with someone who is already married/in a relationship is bad news, whether she's a stripper or not.

kdogg247
03-01-2006, 09:23 AM
Sorry to hear about your problem. It's a hazard of being a strip club junkie. You're just gonna have to bite the bullet and move on.

doc-catfish
03-01-2006, 09:26 AM
1. Cut off the money, cold turkey, every last cent. No dances, no drinks, no stage tips, no nothing. Now and forever.
:no:

2. If she calls you, go for the Hail Mary and give her an ultimatum. Tell her to dump the loser pimp BF and go out with you instead. It seems you're no longer interested in getting anything from her that you would pay money for anyway.
:drink:

3. Invest in a dependable firearm in case number 2 doesn't go over so well.
:shoot:

4. If you're the risk-adverse type, skip number 2, but get yourself a gun anyway. If you've met the loser pimp BF, then you're already too involved.

born_looser
03-01-2006, 10:05 AM
What club is this? I promise I don't have a thug boyfriend, I love body mist, and I know I bet can win your heart, Mr. easy. I'm a nice girl. Nice and loose. ;)

nikki2florida
03-01-2006, 10:15 AM
Are you fucking her?

easy_e
03-01-2006, 10:24 AM
Thanks to everyone for their responses, I know what to do, I was mainly just venting.

Doc:
you are 100% right on no.1
as far as no. 2, we've already been out, had a great time together, but she "just can't leave him".
no.3 is a damn good idea, for self defense only, and the meeting was a poor idea brought about by her (and my) poor judgement and LOTS of alcohol.

Bikinigirl:
thanks for your response, but how many people do you know (with rudimentary social skills, minimal psychiatric medications and at least average appearance) that are NOT in a relationship of some kind? And I don't judge people by what they do to pay their bills, so I don't care if she's a stripper, a wall street stockbroker, a preschool teacher or the biggest whore on 3 coasts, it doesn't change my feelings one bit.

Kdogg:
I agree with you 100%. Furthermore, when and if (ok, when) I return to the strip club scene, I have now added the following rules that I will impose upon myself:

1. I will not give out my phone number
2. I will not have an ATF or be anyone's regular
3. I will not even ask if they are in a relationship-it doesn't matter
because from now on my only intention is to have FUN in the club.
4. I will never,ever get involved in their personal life
5. I will not do favors such as buying the DJ, manager, or waitress drinks, or
getting dances from their friends because "they haven't made any money"
that night.
6. I am there for myself, to have spend money and have fun and not to be
the nice guy(PL). If it's not happening in one place, there's lots of clubs
where I live.

Thanks again for the responses, you have helped me out a lot.

easy_e
03-01-2006, 10:38 AM
nikki2: we have fucked (i prefer the term "making love") once in 3 months. BTW it was incredible for both of us. And she has the sweetest pussy I've ever tasted.

born looser: I like your username, lets just say I'm in south texas since I don't know where you are and I would love to find someone that would let me spoil them and shower them with unlimited drinks, $20 stage tips, 10-20 dances per night, new outfits and designer body mist (my favorite is obsession). It's all about having fun as far as I'm concerned.

Jenny
03-01-2006, 10:50 AM
Okay, how about this? Stop trying to run this woman's life. What she does with her money is not your concern. Her relationship is not your concern, and contrary to popular belief, abused women (if she is actually being abused and you're not just padding your story) do not need a man (or anyone) to rescue them. We have police for that. I realize that they are people and frequently men, but context, okay? They need to learn about their own self-esteem, not leap from one controlling relationship to another.

As for ultimatums - tee hee, good luck. That is the beginning of a very healthy and equal relationship. Plus, she clearly doesn't like you. You said yourself that you knew she was just using you. For her to start putting up with you full time, you'd better be pretty wealthy.

"Cut off the money" - well, do what you want with your money. It is yours after all. But I wouldn't do it just to punish her because that is stupid and controlling. If you just don't want to spend it anymore that is perfectly reasonable.

easy_e
03-01-2006, 01:52 PM
Jenny
You are way off base. I'm not trying to rescue her or run her life. I made the mistake of becoming too involved and I'm trying to walk away from someone I care very deeply for. If you have ever done that you would know that it hurts, even if it's for the best.
Cutting off the money is an excellent idea because A) I'm not having fun anymore and B)if she still wants to talk to me without $$$ involved that would indicate that she is interested. And just because she's using me doesn't me she "clearly doesn't like me", it simply means she's doing her job, which is to take my money. The two are not mutually exclusive.
I have no interest at all in playing games to "punish her", I just think she deserves to be loved and cared for by whoever she's with, whether it's me or not.
Your comments about abused women reflect a simplistic and unrealistic attitude.
I've seen the bruises, and it makes me mad. Very mad. No woman, or man, deserves to be physically abused no matter what they do. This girl, like many others in her situation, is terrified of her abusive BF and is afraid he will find her and beat her worse than ever if she calls the police or goes to a woman's shelter.
The only thing you are right about is that she does need to find her self esteem on her own, and not be in a controlling relationship. Easier said than done. I'm not trying to control her at all, I've simply offered my help in any way posssible with no strings attached
and that offer will stand as long as she has my phone number. But I thank you for your comments anyway. Perhaps we can agree to disagree.

Jenny
03-01-2006, 02:41 PM
If you have ever done that you would know that it hurts, even if it's for the best.
Dude, I have no self control. I would never do that.


Cutting off the money is an excellent idea because A) I'm not having fun anymore
Well that is an excellent reason, as I said before. But you can understand that guys who try to use money to control a dancer's life might rub me the wrong way.


And just because she's using me doesn't me she "clearly doesn't like me", it simply means she's doing her job, which is to take my money. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Certainly not. But you don't call up people you like and just ask them for money. You might call up customers you like and ask them to come to the club or whatever, but you wouldn't just call them and ask for money. And - take it from a dancer who will cop to dating the customers - one can like customers as customers, and enjoy them and their company and still not want to expand that beyond customer relationships. However if you DO, if you "like" your customers, you don't keep them as customers. In other words, if she was interested in you romantically she wouldn't be taking your money. That would be really weird and really unusual.


I have no interest at all in playing games to "punish her", I just think she deserves to be loved and cared for by whoever she's with, whether it's me or not.
Well good. I'm very pleased.


Your comments about abused women reflect a simplistic and unrealistic attitude.
Uh, nay. These are the ONLY realistic attitudes - and this is years of shelter experience talking. My attitudes are simple, not simplistic and are perfectly and painfully true. I know what it is like to want to "save" someone, and I certainly know what it is like to be angry about abuse. And I could tell from 20 paces that if this story is true you are in NO position to help her. You ARE in an excellent position to exploit her.


I've seen the bruises, and it makes me mad. Very mad. No woman, or man, deserves to be physically abused no matter what they do. This girl, like many others in her situation, is terrified of her abusive BF and is afraid he will find her and beat her worse than ever if she calls the police or goes to a woman's shelter.
So she wants to leave him, but feels she can't? Or doesn't want to leave him? If it is truly fear - in which case he would doing more than "occasionally" slapping her around give her my email. [email protected] I doubt I am wherever you are, but I can find someone who is. She will come over, hold her hand, pack her things while the guy isn't home and remove her to another state if necessary. If there are no children there should be no complications. One thing about being a dancer is that you can do it anywhere. Her options are not him or you. If she is ready to go and simply feels that she lacks options (which is wildly unlikely for women in this industry, considering how easy it is to get cash work; they stay because they are not ready to go) there are many people who spend all day and night doing nothing but PROVIDING those options. Frankly, I think you're making this up.


The only thing you are right about is that she does need to find her self esteem on her own, and not be in a controlling relationship. Easier said than done. I'm not trying to control her at all, I've simply offered my help in any way posssible with no strings attached
I'm sorry, what help are you offering? Because you already said you were cutting off the money (which is fine, you can, but still, it's really the only thing you can give her, strings or no). So how are you available to help her? She can come and live with you? Because that seems real stringless. Like what can you do for her that doesn't involve strings? Can you find her an apartment out of town? Can you help her relocate within a day? If you really want to be helpful give her money for first and last.

GenWar
03-01-2006, 02:44 PM
Furthermore, when and if (ok, when) I return to the strip club scene, I have now added the following rules that I will impose upon myself:

1. I will not give out my phone number
2. I will not have an ATF or be anyone's regular
3. I will not even ask if they are in a relationship-it doesn't matter
because from now on my only intention is to have FUN in the club.
4. I will never,ever get involved in their personal life
5. I will not do favors such as buying the DJ, manager, or waitress drinks, or
getting dances from their friends because "they haven't made any money"
that night.
6. I am there for myself, to have spend money and have fun and not to be
the nice guy(PL). If it's not happening in one place, there's lots of clubs
where I live.

Whoa, now hold on there. These are some pretty harsh rules and I think you are going a little overboard.

1. Why not? There is no need for a complete elimination of using your phone. The phone can be a very powerful tool for maintaining a perfectly respectable, professional dancer-customer relationship. It is not the boundary that you are trying not to cross, it is what happens on the calls and your reactions to them. Don't blame the phone.

2. Again, the rule isn't fair. I am a regular of several dancers and I have an ATF. All of them, especially the ATF, are the picture of professionalism. They would never abuse the contact info they have for me. I can't even imagine them calling me to ask for money (though I get the odd call telling me how much I am missed, which is just more of the SS I am getting in the club.) Your problem again is not in being a regular. It is in having that status abused because you have chosen the wrong dancer. Don't blame the status.

3. I also think this one is over the top but, you know what, go with it. While I don't see a need to forbid this question, I can't think for the life of me why it would be pertinent information. So by all means, forbid away!

4. ding-ding. We have a winner.

5. Wait, you are doing these things FOR the dancer? That may be a problem in itself, more than the actions. This is a business relationship. In all business relationships, I strive to create a mutually beneficial partnership. Both sides should win in the agreement and neither side takes precedence over the other. So, yes, do things for your dancer, if you view them as a WIN to you. Because YOU want to. If you hate the DJ and she loves him, don't do a damn thing for him. YOU hate him, remember? OTOH, if the music is so good that it distracts from the naked ladies (I've had it happen), then by all means, buy the man a drink. But do it because YOU want to. Look out for #1. Trust me, the dancer will look out for herself.

6. Again, I take issue, as a self-professed PL. But the message is the same as #5. I WANT to be a PL, I LIKE acting like the nice guy. The dancers I frequent understand that about me and know how to work it. They do not abuse it with sob stories about horrid boyfriends or past due bills. Indeed, as far as I know, none of them HAVE any bills, as I sure as heck haven't ever heard about them. If being a PL is your thing, as it is mine, then don't forbid it. Just use your head and keep clear of anyone who thinks that your desire to be the hero is something to be taken advantage of. Being a PL does not have to equate to being taken advantage of, if you don't let it.

I like rules. I have 15 of them that govern my strip club interactions. But be careful with them. If you make them to harsh or restrictive, you will just ignore them and they will be meaningless. But if you design them right, and ingrain them into your strip club persona, they can be as effective as a sober wingman at preventing you from doing something stupid. I don't know how many times I have been tempted to break one of my rules and stopped, because of my trust in them, only to realize I was saved from a very big mistake later. I also cannot count the times I have ignored them and regretted it. Rules are NOT made to be broken; not if they are made right.

Happy Clubbin'

-gen

yoda57us
03-01-2006, 03:06 PM
Everything Doc said,

and....Dude, you lost your power the minute you got involved in her life beyond paying for dances. Just get the hell away from the situation, and the club if you have to, before this guy who hates you decides to hurt you. You are in way over your head.

Casual Observer
03-01-2006, 04:32 PM
What Doc said.

Your SC rights should be revoked until further notice by the Board of SCJs.

easy_e
03-01-2006, 07:26 PM
Well, at least this board does not ignore newbies! I feel much better, just got back from a VERY relaxing 1 hour massage, my how it clears the mind.

All of you (except Jenny) are correct and I appreciate your feedback. To sum everything up, the whole situation is of my making, I've created my own problem, and as everyone (except Jenny) has said, all I need to do is bite the bullet and walk away. And my SC rights SHOULD be revoked, and WILL be voluntarily until I get my shit together.

Genwar, my rules are unnessesarily harsh and I am overreacting. You are far more advanced than me-I bow to your greater intellect and experience.

Yoda57, I'm not afraid of what the BF would do to me, I'm afraid of what I would do to a woman beater and the consequences I would have to pay. But I am in way over my head.

Jenny, I don't want to spar with you but you completely misunderstood my post. I am going to walk away from her - I am trying to stay out of her life, not get into it.
I already know I'm wrong for letting things get this far. I'm not trying to save her or exploit her, I just care about her. I have no idea where you get the idea that I want her to live with me, I never said that. If that did happen, I am quite sure that Mr. Thug would not let go of her without someone getting hurt or killed. And you simply don't have enough information to make an informed judgment about this girl's situation. As a matter of fact, my no strings offer is to relocate her to another town where her parents live where she has the oppportunity to start over, and I would never be able to see her again. Sounds pretty much stringless to me. Do you understand the word "altruism"? It means I want the best for her without regard for my own feelings. (it's not my parents fault - I was born this fucked up).

As far as your conviction that she is not romantically interested, again you simply don't have any idea of what has gone on between us and the experiences we have had together, and I wish you were right because that would make this whole thing easier. I give her money at the club because otherwise I would be wasting her time at work when she could be making money. Although I am not a stripper, I have clients who are also friends but I expect them to pay for my professional services and not freeload during my working hours. Now OTC is a different story, not talking about play for pay, just socializing and spending time together. Guess what-she doesn't ask for money for that.

The bottom line is that we are both far better off apart from each other than with each other, and not only do I have to walk away, I have to convince her of that because she will not be happy to hear that its over. I tried to do this before and she broke down in tears (if she was acting, it worked) and I was too soft hearted to go through with it.

Anyway, I was just trying to think this through and all the responses have helped me out a lot-even you, Jenny. I think this board is cool and I appreciate and take to heart everything that's been said.

yoda57us
03-01-2006, 08:23 PM
Well, at least this board does not ignore newbies!

Ignore em' hell no, we feed on fresh meat!



Yoda57, I'm not afraid of what the BF would do to me, I'm afraid of what I would do to a woman beater and the consequences I would have to pay. But I am in way over my head.


Yes, you are in way over your head. You are also assuming that good will always triumph over evil. Six bad psycho guys in a strip club parking lot will always trump one good hearted PL with the right intentions. Please be carefull, I'm not kidding here. She wants your money, she's not worth getting hurt over.

easy_e
03-02-2006, 06:27 AM
Please be carefull, I'm not kidding here. She wants your money, she's not worth getting hurt over.

You are right. My objective is to stay completely away from her club and all others for a least a month, so I have a lot of activities planned to keep myself busy and avoid temptation. That way my money stays in the bank, my physical being remains intact, I stay out of prison and I give myself time to get past this.
I'm trying to maintain my sense of humor but this could be deadly serious.

SassyMom
03-02-2006, 08:48 AM
Hey Easy - you're in S. Texas? If you're in Corpus, we should go hit the clubs together....I'll keep you safe ;)

easy_e
03-02-2006, 09:46 AM
Hey Easy - you're in S. Texas? If you're in Corpus, we should go hit the clubs together....I'll keep you safe ;)

SassyMom, I'm about 2.5 hours or less away from you by car, I'd love to hit the clubs in Corpus with you some weekend after I come out of exile in a month or so,
as long as you promise to keep me safe and not get me too drunk and take advantage of me. I can trust you, right? BTW I am a parent also. 8)

yoda57us
03-02-2006, 09:51 AM
One of the ways I've learned to avoid getting caught in the middle of full metal stripper shit is to go to many clubs and have many favs. Strip clubbing is supposed to be fun. I love talking to my favorite ladies but, honestly, If they start dumping psycho drama on me (which most of the time is just one more mechanism for getting your money) there's a damn good chance they won't be a fav for long.

easy_e
03-02-2006, 10:41 AM
One of the ways I've learned to avoid getting caught in the middle of full metal stripper shit is to go to many clubs and have many favs. Strip clubbing is supposed to be fun. I love talking to my favorite ladies but, honestly, If they start dumping psycho drama on me (which most of the time is just one more mechanism for getting your money) there's a damn good chance they won't be a fav for long.

That's basically what I WAS doing until I let my PL emotions get the best of me.
Today is day 2 of my self-imposed exile, I'm trying to make it though this month without a single SC visit. When I go back it will be for one purpose only: having fun. If my favs are there, thats fine, if not-maybe I'll find some new ones, and keep it light this time.

songofthesword
03-02-2006, 10:56 AM
1. Your problem isn't the fact that she is a stripper.. it's the fact that she is a woman who is using you for attention.

If she was a school teacher you would be in the same situtation, her being a stripper in this case makes it no difference.

you have to understand... do you REALLY know what goes on in their relationship... believe it or not, all total assholes as women call them, are they way for a reason, and if not, they aren't anywhere near as bad as their GF's make them out to be.

SHE LIKES THE ATTENTION AND THE MONEY YOU GIVE HER FOR LITERARLY BEING ATTRACTIVE


The first time any dancer starts telling me about her assholish BF or how she gets beat up, I won't spend another dime on her.. what good can come out of it? Even if you end up with her, odds are she has issues you coudln't even imagine or just as bad, an EX that thinks YOU are the problem.

Also, how can you tell everyone on here that they are wrong and one person they are right? If you knew, you wouldn't be asking this question in the first place. It's like you weeded though all the shit to get the one answer you wanted to hear, ignoring the masses of other answers telling you to run for the hills.

You have a fundemental issue with WOMEN, not strippers. Learn how to handle, well not "handle" in the sense of control, but understand women before you ever step foot in a stripclub or you will be milked dry only to provide a steel sholder to cry on and coke money.. and not the kind you buy out of the machine

dlabtot
03-02-2006, 11:04 AM
Here's the problem, if you haven't already guessed. I've become infatuated ( ok, in love) with a dancer with the usual abusive deadbeat loser husband/boyfriend they seem to gravitate to. I simply can't say no to her, she has my phone # and almost every time she calls I end up going to see her. I know she's using me, sometimes she gets significant cash from me for absolutely nothing or just to cry on my shoulder.


Why? I mean, what is it about this girl that makes her so special? She isn't nice to you, obviously... why are you in love with her?

easy_e
03-02-2006, 11:16 AM
.

Also, how can you tell everyone on here that they are wrong and one person they are right? If you knew, you wouldn't be asking this question in the first place. It's like you weeded though all the shit to get the one answer you wanted to hear, ignoring the masses of other answers telling you to run for the hills.



If you read the entire thread, you will see that I am agreeing with everyone except Jenny, and I am, in fact, running for the hills, hence my self-imposed exile.
Are you related to Jenny? Because you both somehow got the complete wrong impression about what I was trying to say and jumped to all kinds of conclusions without nearly enough information to support them.
I do have a fundamental problem with women, which is simply that I try to get their approval and attention by trying to please them, rather than living life on my terms. But hey, I'm working on it. So we agree on that point.

Jenny
03-02-2006, 11:24 AM
^^^
Honey, I didn't get a wrong impression. I just thought different parts were important.

easy_e
03-02-2006, 11:25 AM
Why? I mean, what is it about this girl that makes her so special? She isn't nice to you, obviously... why are you in love with her?

That's a fair question, but I don't know the answer. Love is not always mutual, and perhaps it's just an extreme physical attraction on my part. For the most part she's as nice as she needs to be to get my money, but she sometimes is very kind to me unexpectedly and out of the blue. I suppose it's all part of the game.
That was a good question and something I will ponder during my exile.

easy_e
03-02-2006, 11:30 AM
^^^
Honey, I didn't get a wrong impression. I just thought different parts were important.

I don't understand what this refers to. /:O

Jenny
03-02-2006, 01:47 PM
Pretty much what it sounds like, hon. I just thought different parts of the story were important. Than you do. Apparently. Or for that matter than most other people. This happens to me ALL THE TIME. I think you can tell I am extremely disagreeable. Then again - being a woman, and a dancer and having all the experience with abused women in controlling relationships, and knowing real, real well what a controlling customer looks like my identification would be different than... well, you know, the strip club junkies. Or it could be both.

easy_e
03-02-2006, 02:26 PM
Pretty much what it sounds like, hon. I just thought different parts of the story were important. Than you do. Apparently. Or for that matter than most other people. This happens to me ALL THE TIME. I think you can tell I am extremely disagreeable. Then again - being a woman, and a dancer and having all the experience with abused women in controlling relationships, and knowing real, real well what a controlling customer looks like my identification would be different than... well, you know, the strip club junkies. Or it could be both.

That's cool, I often find that I think much differently than most other people also.
I guess we react to things based on life experience. I'm actually quite flattered that you thought ANY part of my story was important. I don't think you're disagreeable, just opinionated and you certainly have the right to your opinions.
Believe me, I am not the controlling one in this "relationship", she is. Her call to me about 30 minutes ago was something like this:

Her: Hey baby, how are you?
Me: ok, I guess
Her: Well I've only made $21 today
Me: Sorry to hear that
Her: So can you come see me tonight?
Me: No, I'm broke.
Her: I'll see you sunday though, right?
Me: Probably not.
Her: WHAT!!!!!! YOU FUCKIN BETTER COME UP HERE SUNDAY, OR ELSE!! THATS FUCKED UP. I WANT TO SEE YOU.
Me: ok, maybe for a little while......

Just another day in the life of a PL.

miabella
03-02-2006, 04:26 PM
are you going?

on another note, why can't i get regs who are so easily suckered? i mean, really. i would love to be able to yell at some dude and cow him into throwing me a wad of 100s.

easy_e
03-02-2006, 06:22 PM
are you going?

on another note, why can't i get regs who are so easily suckered? i mean, really. i would love to be able to yell at some dude and cow him into throwing me a wad of 100s.

Thank you, that made me laugh. My problem is not being yelled at and cowed, it's that I can't resist her for some fucked up reason. Unfortunately for you, she's the only dancer who has ever had that affect on me. But then I've never met you, so who knows? You'd love it, wouldn't you? And that's without even knowing my special technique for stage tipping.

Am I going? Hell no, I'll be in bed all weekend with my girl(friend w/benefits) learning the finer points of kama sutra. Plus that would only be day 5 of my exile, I'm trying to make it to the end of the month without setting foot in a SC. 48 hours of sex should hopefully diminish my interest in going, although I admit I still want to.

Since I tend to be passive-aggressive and avoid conflict at all costs I find that "maybe" creates far less drama than "no". What can I say - I have issues, but I generally function at a high level anyway. Nothing that can't be solved ( or at least disguised) with alcohol, 'dro and valium. :-X

easy_e out.

mr_punk
03-03-2006, 06:29 AM
what's wrong with you guys? you should all know by now, that most PLs are so throughly convinced of their beliefs. they can't be dissuaded from the folly of trying to turn a ho into a housewife. they all believe they're special, different or an exception to the rule. right now, this guy is standing on a ledge of a building. all that's needed for my entertainment pleasure is a nice stiff breeze to send him flying to the pavement below. and what do you people do? you shout, "no please!...don't jump!". this kind of post is a gift...treasure it...humor it...encourage a PL's death wish by shouting, "so, what are you waiting for? jump already!". besides, it's not only the humane thing to do. the comedic fallout from their impending doom is priceless.

Six bad psycho guys in a strip club parking lot will always trump one good hearted PL with the right intentions.one can only hope they're armed with baseball bats as well.

Then again - being a woman, and a dancer and having all the experience with abused women in controlling relationships, and knowing real, real well what a controlling customer looks like my identification would be different than... well, you know, the strip club junkies. Or it could be both.strangely enough, i agree. but hey, i'm sure he's doing it out of love and for her own good. sort of like this guy (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html).

easy_e
03-03-2006, 09:53 AM
what's wrong with you guys? you should all know by now, that most PLs are so throughly convinced of their beliefs. they can't be dissuaded from the folly of trying to turn a ho into a housewife. they all believe they're special, different or an exception to the rule. right now, this guy is standing on a ledge of a building. all that's needed for my entertainment pleasure is a nice stiff breeze to send him flying to the pavement below. and what do you people do? you shout, "no please!...don't jump!". this kind of post is a gift...treasure it...humor it...encourage a PL's death wish by shouting, "so, what are you waiting for? jump already!". besides, it's not only the humane thing to do. the comedic fallout from their impending doom is priceless.


No mercy requested and none granted. I like it. However, I'm not trying to turn a ho into a housewife-I don't need or want another wife, I am just happy to be rid of the last one. I can see the humor in this, which is part of the reason I started this thread. It is a gift, so you're welcome.

As I have previously stated, I have imposed a 31 day exile from all SC's until I regain control of myself. Today is day 3. I think it must be something like a recovering alcoholic's first month of sobriety. I'm just taking it one day at a time. I will always be a PL to some degree, but I've gone too far this time.

Being a PL does have it's benefits though, but then you probably wouldn't know about that, seeing as you are so superior to me. ::)

SportsWriter2
03-03-2006, 10:23 AM
As I have previously stated, I have imposed a 31 day exile from all SC's until I regain control of myself. Today is day 3. I think it must be something like a recovering alcoholic's first month of sobriety.
Except alcoholics don't look at the calender and say, "Hey,I can drink again in 28 days."

kikin
03-03-2006, 10:33 AM
Strip Club Junkie Anonymous (SCJA)

:)

easy_e
03-03-2006, 10:59 AM
Except alcoholics don't look at the calender and say, "Hey,I can drink again in 28 days."

I said it was "something like" a recovering alcoholic in reference to the one day at a time thing. Reviewing my bank statement of ATM withdrawals I realized that I'd been to the 3 SC's I go to 12 times in the month of February. So if I can make it even 10 days that would be progress. 3 days already seems like a long time.

I've been there so often I now have a recurring nightmare: it's a dark foggy night and I drive to my favorite SC on deserted streets. When I get there, the parking lot is empty. As I walk thorugh the door, I notice that it is eerily silent inside the club and no dancers. 2 figures approach me through the gloom and I realize they are both glowing red-orange demons carrying razor sharp pitchforks. One begins to stab me in the shoulder while screaming "Wanna drink, Wanna Drink...." in a shrill voice, while at the same time, the other demon stabs my other shoulder and barks out the words " Wanna dance, Wanna dance..." As the blood flows from my perforated body, I wake from the dream drenched in a cold sweat and shaking like a heroin addict in withdrawal, to find that I am safe at home, away from the SC demons. }:D

SportsWriter2
03-03-2006, 12:04 PM
My recurring nightmare was a dancer getting into it and having a fatal asthma attack. They started after I went to a dancer funeral. You have to know when to say when. :O

easy_e
03-03-2006, 12:26 PM
I'm saying "when" now. Kind of nice to deposit my entire paycheck instead of taking out 600-800 for weekend activity like I have been. Also, I didn't realize how stressful it had become deciding where to go, what girls to see, to stay or go if a dancer I like more calls while I'm in a different club, etc. I've made something that used to be fun into an ordeal!

mr_punk
03-03-2006, 08:25 PM
However, I'm not trying to turn a ho into a housewife-I don't need or want another wife, I am just happy to be rid of the last one.it's a figure of speech like, "you can't teach an old dog a new trick". it simply means you're trying to turn someone into something they're not. so, it could be a wife or it could be your own personal fembot, chained up under the floorboards in the basement of your home. who knows? frankly, i don't know exactly what kind of sicko infatuation you have with this stripper.

Being a PL does have it's benefits though, but then you probably wouldn't know about that, seeing as you are so superior to me.::)superior? no. i just don't walk out of the whorehouse complaining about not feeling loved. but hey, perhaps there's some benefit to the act that no one knows about.

FBR
03-04-2006, 02:16 PM
Easy, LOL, you went from lovesick and infatuated in your OP on 3-1-06 to completely over it and strong again and roaring (complete with girlfriend/wife) by 3-3-06, all this wisdom and strength no doubted gained by reading a few posts her on the Blue. Damn, I knew there was some powerful mojo down here but this has to be a record. Gotta work on the timeline in your next story, son ;)

Your tale was good though and incorporated all the terrible stripper traits we love to hate (money hungry stripper, loser boyfriend, nice guy custy she would love to be with but just cant leave her bad situation (not yet anyway...which is the string). I think all of us but Mr_P have been there at one time or another ;) You have to stare into a dancers eyes for at least a moment to become captivated and in love. As far as Punk is concerned, a strippers physical attributes start just below the nose and end just above the knees :P

I especially liked the part where she showed you her bruises. I bet she watched the same CSI episode I did a few weeks ago where this woman used some skillful makeup artistry to create one hell of a shiner supposedly inflicted by her abusive husband. This was done by the pyscho woman in order to convice her slightly overly attached brother to kill the husband in order for her to collect an insurance policy. The husband as it turns out was the marital equivalent of a PL. Of course, the CSI folks figured it out and justice prevailed :)

Welcome to the asylum, Easy. As Yoda said (and Mr_Punk further implied)...we love newbies ;D

**Note...especially to Jenny. Im not making light of abuse...I know it happens and is serious. I was having fun with the OP and his tale**

FBR

easy_e
03-05-2006, 04:19 PM
it's a figure of speech like, "you can't teach an old dog a new trick". it simply means you're trying to turn someone into something they're not. so, it could be a wife or it could be your own personal fembot, chained up under the floorboards in the basement of your home. who knows? frankly, i don't know exactly what kind of sicko infatuation you have with this stripper.
superior? no. i just don't walk out of the whorehouse complaining about not feeling loved. but hey, perhaps there's some benefit to the act that no one knows about.

I know what a metaphor is, but thanks for clearing that up. I do, however, accept that my infatuation is "sick" in the sense that it is unhealthy and inappropriate, so I'll give you that one.
As far as the benefits of being a PL, like I said, you wouldn't understand.

easy_e
03-05-2006, 05:36 PM
Easy, LOL, you went from lovesick and infatuated in your OP on 3-1-06 to completely over it and strong again and roaring (complete with girlfriend/wife) by 3-3-06, all this wisdom and strength no doubted gained by reading a few posts her on the Blue. Damn, I knew there was some powerful mojo down here but this has to be a record. Gotta work on the timeline in your next story, son ;)

Your tale was good though and incorporated all the terrible stripper traits we love to hate (money hungry stripper, loser boyfriend, nice guy custy she would love to be with but just cant leave her bad situation (not yet anyway...which is the string). I think all of us but Mr_P have been there at one time or another ;) You have to stare into a dancers eyes for at least a moment to become captivated and in love. As far as Punk is concerned, a strippers physical attributes start just below the nose and end just above the knees :P


Welcome to the asylum, Easy. As Yoda said (and Mr_Punk further implied)...we love newbies ;D



FBR

Thanks for the welcome. I stand by my story and extend an invitation to anyone to PM me for directions and transport themselves down south where I live (at their expense.) I'll introduce them to all the parties involved, except the thug BF and even split the bar tab.

At times I wish I was more like Mr_Punk, but unfortunately I do look into the eyes of these beautiful women and the trouble starts when they look back. Those that don't I send to Mr_Punk's table.

My 31 day exile is real and I will post occaisonally with updates. Temptation was strong this weekend, but I have made it though day 5 without relapsing.

I wouldn't blame anyone for being skeptical. The SC life is one that breeds cynicism and mistrust for both dancers and customers. What would it hurt to say "maybe this guy is for real'?

yoda57us
03-05-2006, 07:12 PM
I wouldn't blame anyone for being skeptical. The SC life is one that breeds cynicism and mistrust for both dancers and customers. What would it hurt to say "maybe this guy is for real'?

Like I said before, do whatever works for you. IMHO, if you where cured of being a RIL you would have been able to go this weekend, maybe to a different club, and enjoy yourself without guilt or remorse.

We are all "for real" my friend. We are all human and falable to things like pretty smiles, bedroom eyes, nice tits and sob stories. Time will tell how you handle these various situations over the long haul. My personal opinion is that staying out of the clubs for thirty days doesn't prove much. But that's just one junkies opinion.;) Good Luck!}:D }:D

Moneywise
03-05-2006, 07:43 PM
My personal opinion is that staying out of the clubs for thirty days doesn't prove much. But that's just one junkies opinion.

Make that two. Wow. It's amazing how not long ago I was in the same boat as you easy. Had it not been for this site I have no doubt I would have cleared my bank account and started an allotment of 80% of my paycheck to Ms. J.

You're whipped. She does that little thing ITC that makes your heart flutter and she fucks you like the girl in your dreams. I totally understand. Ms. J (former ATF of mine) fucks like a clydsdale and has this magnetic sizziling hot personality. Like most dancers (not all) she has plenty of Samsonite in the closet. All it takes is that one time for you to be exposed to the worst of her luggage to set you straight.

I stopped by my old stomping grounds last weekend and tipped Ms. J a few dollars at the stage. She was shocked to see me after having not seen me in about 3 months. She was so surprise that she stopped dead in her tracks and came over to hug me. I could feel the hate from the others seated around the stage. lol fuck them. The ass looked just as good as ever. I sat there content knowing all it took was a few words and I could be buried to the hilt again. Yet still, it's the luggage that keeps me level headed. As I filed out not even 15 minutes after entering the old stomping grounds she grabbed me by the bar and tried to make conversation.

J: You leaving?

Moi: Yes.

J: Do you still have my number?

Moi: (playing dumb) I'm not sure. Why?

J: Here it is. Call me ok. (she grabs a napkin and writes her number down for me... doh..it's still in my phone)

Moi: Ok.

I am not calling her because I know how easy I can fall back into the deep dark abyss of fucking her and caring. Sometimes having a large disposable income isn't such a good thing. :O

SportsWriter2
03-05-2006, 08:04 PM
I stopped by my old stomping grounds last weekend and tipped Ms. J a few dollars at the stage. She was shocked to see me after having not seen me in about 3 months. She was so surprise that she stopped dead in her tracks and came over to hug me. I could feel the hate from the others seated around the stage. lol fuck them.
Yeah, you go back after a month or three, and it's crazy, like they figure this is the last chance to reconnect with you[r money]. lol fuck them. :P

easy_e
03-06-2006, 07:55 AM
Like I said before, do whatever works for you. IMHO, if you where cured of being a RIL you would have been able to go this weekend, maybe to a different club, and enjoy yourself without guilt or remorse.

We are all "for real" my friend. We are all human and falable to things like pretty smiles, bedroom eyes, nice tits and sob stories. Time will tell how you handle these various situations over the long haul. My personal opinion is that staying out of the clubs for thirty days doesn't prove much. But that's just one junkies opinion.;) Good Luck!}:D }:D

I'm not cured of being an RIL. I still think about her almost all the time. Sometimes, when I'm fucking someone else, I can forget about her for a minute.

Staying out of the clubs for 31 days proves nothing except that I have at least some self-control and as a side benefit it helps my bank account.

Yes, I am a SCJ and I am powerless over my love of strippers and life has become unmanageable. With the help of my real-life wingmen and the gracious people on this board, I hope to be able to go to different clubs and have fun again. I will always gaze into their eyes and lust after their beauty and allow my heart to be touched by their SS, but next time, it will only be for a few hours and then I'm back to reality. I hope. 8)

easy_e
03-06-2006, 08:02 AM
You're whipped. She does that little thing ITC that makes your heart flutter and she fucks you like the girl in your dreams. I totally understand. Ms. J (former ATF of mine) fucks like a clydsdale and has this magnetic sizziling hot personality. Like most dancers (not all) she has plenty of Samsonite in the closet. All it takes is that one time for you to be exposed to the worst of her luggage to set you straight.

I :O

Exactly.

yoda57us
03-06-2006, 09:20 AM
If you really want to take a step in the right direction set a spending limit per visit and do not, I repeat DO NOT bring any credit cards into the club with you. Bring only the cash you intend to spend and leave when it's gone-which you will do anyway 'cause nothin' scares away a flock of hot strippers faster than an empty wallet.:O

Good luck e, and remember, where always here to rip you a new one when we feel you have it coming!;)

easy_e
03-07-2006, 08:54 AM
If you really want to take a step in the right direction set a spending limit per visit and do not, I repeat DO NOT bring any credit cards into the club with you. Bring only the cash you intend to spend and leave when it's gone-which you will do anyway 'cause nothin' scares away a flock of hot strippers faster than an empty wallet.:

Good luck e, and remember, where always here to rip you a new one when we feel you have it coming

Good advice, seems like no matter how much cash I bring it's never enough, so I end up running a tab on CC (for drinks only). I will follow your advice and leave all credit and debit cards at home next time I go, b/c my spending in the month of Feb. was ridiculous. I could have moved to Thailand for a month and had a harem for what I spent. What do you think is a reasonable amount? I usually bring 3-400 and spend every last dollar.

Believe me, I know I have it coming. I've actually left the more humiliating parts of this story out b/c it's bad enough already. My 2 real-life wingmen just roll their eyes and keep their distance as if I have leprosy and it's contagious. But they've been where I am before, so they know.

Bad thing is, she calls me every day, which is unheard of reliability for a stripper.
It's hard to say no to her but I'm getting better at it, and I'm not changing my cell #, that's just rude. I'm sorry to say that this whole situation had made me a colder, less caring person and much more resistant to SS. But still, I don't regret a single moment of time or a single dollar spent with her.

I almost gave in yesterday and went by her club on the way home from work, just to say hi, but I remained strong and have now made it to Day 7 without incident.

yoda57us
03-07-2006, 09:32 AM
I almost gave in yesterday and went by her club on the way home from work, just to say hi,

Stopping by just to say hi (and not spending any money) is a good way to find out exactly how far charm and sparkling wit will take you with a dancer (be prepared, the trip will usually be short).

The calling you every day thing will fade once she realizes that you have grown a pair and you are not going to be her on-demand ATM.

How much you spend is how much you feel comfortable spending. My only rule is don't spend the milk money. I generally walk in with $500 and almost never spend even half of that unless it's a club were I'm doing a VIP room with a special lady. I go 1 to 3 times a month. When I was in once or twice a week mode a few years ago I went in with maybe $300 and again, never spent more than about half of it. I see guys with corporate Gold cards racking up $2000 tabs in VIP but that's not me. Besides, I'm self employed, that gold card bill will come back to bite me in the ass in 30 days.

I never run a CC tab for drinks either. You'd be amazed how quickly two or three hot strippers drinking fru fru "dancer drinks" can run-up a $200 bar tab.