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View Full Version : my club has dancing 2 nights a week, 3 hour shifts. help!!



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Foxey
03-28-2006, 10:12 PM
Kita there are a lot of people out there who believe that if you are born with a penis you are unconditionally a man, unless of course you are a hermaphrodite (sp) To those people no amount of surgery of any variety is going to change that. The reason I'm opposed to you not sharing the fact that you have a penis or had a penis with men is that you are leading men to engage in homosexual activity unawares, even if it is just a lap dance, and I don't believe that is fair to them. That could be devastating to a lot of men and that is what I don't like.

velvet
03-29-2006, 01:27 AM
Kita there are a lot of people out there who believe that if you are born with a penis you are unconditionally a man, unless of course you are a hermaphrodite (sp) To those people no amount of surgery of any variety is going to change that. The reason I'm opposed to you not sharing the fact that you have a penis or had a penis with men is that you are leading men to engage in homosexual activity unawares, even if it is just a lap dance, and I don't believe that is fair to them. That could be devastating to a lot of men and that is what I don't like.


this is going to come off rude, but girl you need to come into the 21st century.

what you are saying is very backwoods/redneck thinking. this person IS a women. there should be no reason for her to reveal she has/had a penis. guys get all kinds of crap/lies at the club. not to mention no one would find out as she presents as all women. do you reveal all your deceptive tactics you use to make money, i just will never understand a women in this business that is closeminded and homophobic

tampafldancer
03-29-2006, 03:42 AM
this is going to come off rude, but girl you need to come into the 21st century.

what you are saying is very backwoods/redneck thinking. this person IS a women. there should be no reason for her to reveal she has/had a penis. guys get all kinds of crap/lies at the club. not to mention no one would find out as she presents as all women. do you reveal all your deceptive tactics you use to make money, i just will never understand a women in this business that is closeminded and homophobic


Agreed. She was born this way. She didn't choose to CHANGE gender. She is a girl. She needs to get changed down south and that is where plastic surgery comes in.

URR.

thechaosfairy
03-29-2006, 05:16 AM
Haha. The "there are a lot of people out there who believe" defense. Yeah, that's what I got from my dad when I dated a black guy in high school. "Well . . . there are a lot of people who . . . and I'm warning you other people will look at you funny . . ." I stared at him speechless for a minute and said, "Other people? You mean you!"

There are a lot of people out there who believe many things. Many people believe strippers are all sinners who deserve to be raped. Is that a good defense?

kitatonic
03-29-2006, 10:27 AM
you girls got it down. im proud to know you! }:D

kitatonic
03-29-2006, 01:03 PM
Foxey, when you mentioned hermaphrodites, you actually put your finger on the very reason why your mistaken.
there are men born with a state called micropenis, where the penis does not stick out of the body at all. instead, the tip of the penis is just barely coming out of the body.
kinda like a...... CLITORIS!
now, are these men not entitled to be men because they dont really have a penis? well.... i dont know what you'd say but lets just say that you say "yes, they are still men, just disadvantaged."
well guess what, here in the U.S. for decades until just very recently, men in that situation would have the tip cut away and be labeled as female, unbeknownst to the parents, and be told that plastic surgery would be needed later in life to open up the vaginal canal.
to those doctors, being born a man without a penis was so bad, you might as well just forfeit your gender and be a girl.
only thing is, gender is determined by your brain, NOT your crotch.
so these guys grew up always wanting to be dudes and do dude things, but their parents, unawares, raised them as girls. there is a famous "poster child case" about this and the young man actually killed himself upon reaching adulthood.
tell me, a girl who has a female voice, a female body, a female mind, and thinks in terms of sex like a female, but has a penis, wouldn't you think maybe theres something going on biologically there?
are you failing to see the significance to the fact that my body didnt develop as a male? obviously that makes me special in a certain way.
theres nothing homosexual about me. believe me, im far closer to a lesbian than to a fag! (my fag friends would die laughing if they heard what you said. in fact, i've never even had sex with a gay man. i have mostly had sex with other women (and no I dont use what I have) because, honestly, I love the female body more than anything. I, like most dancers, am not dancing and grinding on these men because their sweaty, middle-aged, hairy bodies turn me on!! :D
i think foxey that you should try and really think about what you're saying.
hope this didnt sound mean. no hard feelings foxey! if you met me in person, this whole conversation would be vastly different!
kisses all.....
-k

Foxey
03-29-2006, 11:36 PM
Hey Kita, I seriously don't have a problem with you at all! I enjoy reading your posts as you are obviously a very educated and diverse individual. You're well spoken and you present your information very well. My views still stand as is but I do respect you and I take no offense to anything that you've said, as you haven't said anything offensive! Again I wish you the best of luck...

To the other posters: so anyone who isn't a liberal is an outdated redneck?

kirbie_kyle
03-30-2006, 12:50 AM
to foxey: i don't think all non-liberals are rednecks, as a matter of fact, a lot of my friends are moderate. the only thing i take issue with is people passing judgements that are not based on long-term observation of an individual's behavior patterns. however, if you're not passing judgement, i have no issue with you :)

kitatonic
03-30-2006, 10:23 AM
really...
the part about the 'making guys participate in homosexual acts against their will' really blew me away.
only in america would someone like me be thought of as a gay man!

disk_druid
03-30-2006, 12:22 PM
really...
the part about the 'making guys participate in homosexual acts against their will' really blew me away.
only in america would someone like me be thought of as a gay man!
Most straight guys who frequent regular strip clubs will not like buying a dance from a girl with a unit unbeknownst to them. And these guys may react or overreact in some interesting ways.

There's a big difference between an ideal world and reality. It is the real world we have to be cognizant of because it is there that our actions have consequences, intended or otherwise, justified or not.

My advice to you is to be smart and stay safe.

tampafldancer
03-30-2006, 12:37 PM
there is no way a guy would find out anyway (esp if you arent grinding during the dance) But if a guy were to get pissed off, there are always bouncers there. I would say you would have to come clean with management first so in case something like that happens they know in advance what is going on.

I personally dont understand why this surgery wasn't taken care of earlier without expense to you Kita. You should start contacting plastic surgeons and talk about costs. I would think some would discount it for you. Maybe even donate..

You do want to go ahead with the surgery, or no?

fancygirl
03-30-2006, 12:52 PM
I think she is going ahead with the surgery.

I'm not sure if you should tell management though... I guess in San Fransisco, it probably won't be as big of an issue as in othe parts of the nation, since so many gender studies are done at Berkeley, BUT-- I'd want to hear what the other girls (especially girls in SF) think about telling the management.
Yes-- it might be useful to have more security, however....people talk, and that could cause trouble. So, I vote that you don't tell management as I wouldn't trust 99.9% of management to be THAT discrete.

tampafldancer
03-30-2006, 01:21 PM
I think not telling management might cause them to fire you once they find out?
This is a tricky situation...

Are they going to be educated/understanding enough to understand your situation when/if you tell them or is it a better bet not to come clean at first and save up enough money to get the surgery?

kitatonic
03-30-2006, 02:28 PM
hey all!
well, about surgery...
if you read my posts you know that i want it very very much. um, it costs about $20,000 dollars though and almost a full month of recovery time.

i so far have never had $20,000 at one time! so i am saving.
you're right, ideally someone should help me cover the costs....
guess what? sex-change surgery is the ONLY surgery listed with health care companies as both required for someone with my condition and NOT covered.
everything else is either considered elective and not covered, or considered required and it IS covered.
before any of you jump up to say "well, its not NEEDED because you wont die without it."
well, consider that breast reconstruction and implants after breast cancer is covered, even though it is not needed. additionally, all manner of issues with scarring, deformities are covered, though they do not pose a health risk.
it is just a well known fact.
the reason its not covered is because there are very few laws in place to protect trans people, so the health care companies have no pressure to add this expensive surgery.
and in MOST places in this country a tranny is treated like a victim about as much as a prostitute. i.e. the cops dont give a shit if you are raped or beat up, and will often make fun of you on top of that.
fortunately, thats not the case in sf.
i should know, i dated and got very close to a motorcycle cop here who of course never knew i was trans.
now THAT was hot.
dont worry, i will play it careful. im a careful girl!
thanks for the concern.
and you're right, some guys would be angry if they knew i was born with a 'very private deformity.' but that doesnt make it right. just like in the past a custy might have been angry to find that a girl was part-African-American or who knows what else, and refused to pay or threatened violence. hell, people use to reuse blood transfusions from people of color!!!
still doesnt make it right.
you are right that i should be careful, and i am. but honestly, in all likelihood, no one will ever find out or even come close.
love you guys!
-k

thechaosfairy
03-31-2006, 04:17 AM
Oh, hey. I found this site linked in an old thread on labia size.

Here's some information about the clitoris/penis -- and how those two terms are pretty well synonymous. It is only a polite fiction that they are particularly different organs, aside from the clitoris simply not containing the piss valve.

http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_c_size.htm