View Full Version : "Would you date a stripper" poll on askmen.com
dlabtot
03-28-2006, 05:07 PM
When I was single I never had sexual fantasies about women I genuinely liked and wanted a relationship with. I don't think its f*cked up at all. It's perfectly normal and the way many (most?) guys are.
I suppose it is natural for you to think that you are normal.
However, if this is what 'normal' is - not being sexually attracted to those you 'genuinely like' - I'm glad Im not normal.
VenusGoddess
03-28-2006, 06:31 PM
There is a dichotomy between what men desire sexually and what men want to marry. A man wants to play with a slut. But he wants to marry a good girl. When I was single I never had sexual fantasies about women I genuinely liked and wanted a relationship with. I don't think its f*cked up at all. It's perfectly normal and the way many (most?) guys are. Good girls don't sleep around. They don't strip, either (at least, that's the viewpoint most hold).
Wow...you must date some pretty fugly women. ::)
I couldn't imagine living my life with someone who I never had a sexual fantasy about or didn't have the urge to jump when they walked in the door.
You must live a very boring, plain, uninteresting existance. But, just because you feel that way doesn't mean that the rest of the world feels that way. And, if you think that strippers are so horrible and big major sluts, then WTF are you doing here?
Casual Observer
03-28-2006, 06:41 PM
There is a dichotomy between what men desire sexually and what men want to marry. A man wants to play with a slut. But he wants to marry a good girl. When I was single I never had sexual fantasies about women I genuinely liked and wanted a relationship with.
Speak for yourself. I prefer LTRs with a woman possessing a strong, obvious slut streak--I mean afterall, she has to match my own proclivities. ;)
I've spoken to dozens of guys about this--even some guys who are quite popular with the ladies--and the vast majority of guys wouldn't get into a relationship with a stripper. It's fact. Deny it all you want, but it's true. (Why does that upset you, anyway?) Sure, there are some guys who'll get a kick out of the thought of their woman being seen naked by thousands of men. And there are are other men still who get a kick out of watching their wives have sex with other men. But the majority of men are not like that.
Well, thank Christ I've never aspired to be part of the majority.
Optimist
03-28-2006, 06:58 PM
There is a dichotomy between what men desire sexually and what men want to marry. A man wants to play with a slut. But he wants to marry a good girl. When I was single I never had sexual fantasies about women I genuinely liked and wanted a relationship with. I don't think its f*cked up at all. It's perfectly normal and the way many (most?) guys are. Good girls don't sleep around. They don't strip, either (at least, that's the viewpoint most hold).
That's why there's a 50% divorce rate! Why would you expect a good woman to want to be second best? Is your wife second best in your fantasies? Are you MR.P from www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread/.php?t=63974 (http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread/.php?t=63974) ?>:(
Feiticeira
03-28-2006, 07:58 PM
You know what? It's a JOB. It makes me the money I need in the sea of crap jobs we have out her just north of the mexican border. So fucking sue me. I am a good girl no matter what my fucking job is. I really don't see the need to defend my job or please the majority because the people who are really my friends and LOVE me respect that it's a decision I have made for myself. Any man that can't handle that wasn't worth my time to begin with. Thank the fuck christ I found my husband now so I don't have to deal with conformity freaks like you dudeski ;)
Jenny
03-28-2006, 08:17 PM
There is a dichotomy between what men desire sexually and what men want to marry. A man wants to play with a slut. But he wants to marry a good girl. When I was single I never had sexual fantasies about women I genuinely liked and wanted a relationship with. I don't think its f*cked up at all. It's perfectly normal and the way many (most?) guys are. Good girls don't sleep around. They don't strip, either (at least, that's the viewpoint most hold).
It's perfectly normal to despise the women you want to have sex with, and not want to have sex with the women you don't despise? And you question our values?
Sick, sick, sick.
Yekhefah
03-28-2006, 08:32 PM
^^^ No kidding. I'm glad I don't know any of these guys - or I've never dated them, if I do. My bf likes that I'm a sweet, smart girl who can enjoy a nice visit with his mother, and then go home and fuck him like a porn star. I think most guys would rather have a woman they like, respect, AND find sexually attractive. If Dudeski represents the majority (and I don't think he does), then thank heaven I'm not normal.
jessica_rabbit
03-28-2006, 11:57 PM
Thank God for stripperweb! I realize that the majority of society looks down on strippers and stripperweb keeps me sane when I feel like I'm under attack from all angles.
All Good Things
03-29-2006, 12:13 AM
My bf likes that I'm a sweet, smart girl who can enjoy a nice visit with his mother, and then go home and fuck him like a porn star.
A smart, sexy, intense dancer who fucks you like a porn star pretty much owns your ass. I mean, seriously, for like the rest of time. My brilliant dancer gf is so insanely intense that we rarely leave a building for 48 hours after hooking up.
I've never figured out how guys with absolutely zero dancer dating experience can spew such hateful, prejudiced, judgmental nonsense with such sincerity and conviction. I clicked through about 40 posts and couldn't shake the idea that most of these guys came across as angry and dismissive eunuchs at a party where they didn't have the equipment or experience to play. For some reason, it doesn't occur to them that all that energy and venom just makes them look pathetic and uninformed -- like they are trying way too hard just to convince themselves.
Mastridonicus
03-29-2006, 05:52 AM
What disgusts me most about this, is that this kind of thing has an audience.
I'm just waiting for us to get a pretty name so they can personify their miss-directed jealousy, which should be directed at whatever shortcomming it is about themselves that makes them give a damn who I spend my evenings with and what she does for a living, in less words.
Djoser
03-29-2006, 08:54 AM
Sheep, cattle, and other herd animals spend a great deal of time doing whatever the rest of them seem to think is a good idea...
I've never been much of one for joining a herd. So I don't worry about dating strippers or working in a club myself, and what people think of it.
kinda_normal_guy
03-29-2006, 09:53 AM
To me, this is all so funny since so many people (men) have no idea what it's REALLY like to date or be with a 'stripper'.
It's both sad and funny at the same time to me the views that many guys have about someone they desire sexually yet have no idea there is a real person behind the body. I'm married to a stripper, can't say I really like what she does, but it's not a big deal to either of us, its a job - she makes big money, we love and trust each other and it's not really that big a deal.
More important is that she is a real person with all the same issues, happiness, sadness and life that any 'soccor mom' has, she just makes money dancing. I think most guys draw too many conclusion about what they think a stripper should be or what they want her to be.
I've found that most are pretty normal people ( better looking than average though).
mysticmeadow
03-30-2006, 07:22 AM
Just wanted to defend myself in my previous thread to the person who insinuated I had an "over inflated ego"- my venting post, which is what it was after reading the thread that started this thread isn't attacking all men in general, just the ones who are ignorant enough to blast us for our profession- these are the men my derrogatory message was geared towards, I am aware that there are some very decent guys that come and visit us, but to the ones who come to see us and then have the balls to blast us- its us who gets the last laugh when they are the ones spending the money on us- I apologize if I offended anyone previously, however, I still feel that MOST of the guys that come into the club aren't the type of guy that would get my attention outside of the club- if that is an over inflated ego, so be it! Frankly, I have just considered myself picky- not that it matters anyways, I am happily married and that is really all that matters! ;)
mysticmeadow
03-30-2006, 07:43 AM
You know guys it just dawned on me, why am I wasting my time defending myself to dudeski? ;)
Emily
03-30-2006, 09:11 AM
sometimes it's ncie to write stuff out to explain it to yourself.
But yeah, I did that too...wasted my time on dudeski. But I did get some personal benefit from it, and if I help someone understand their position a little better, even if it's me....it's worth it!
dudeski
03-30-2006, 03:28 PM
You know guys it just dawned on me, why am I wasting my time defending myself to dudeski? ;)
Probably because you realize that you actually do care what others (and society at large) think. Otherwise, you wouldn't have ranted like you did. ;D
As for what you said in your other post:
"ones who are ignorant enough to blast us for our profession- these are the men my derrogatory message was geared towards, I am aware that there are some very decent guys that come and visit us, but to the ones who come to see us and then have the balls to blast us- its us who gets the last laugh when they are the ones spending the money on us"
The vast majority of guys who go to strip clubs are like this. Guys don't go to strip clubs because they respect strippers for the human beings they are. They go because they can see an object on stage doing things that many girlfriends or wives won't even do--and they do it in public for the world to see. They go to see a piece of ass.
You act as though guys are fools because they give you money. Perhaps there are some underlying self-esteem issues...?
I've been careful not to interject my personal opinion of strippers into any of this. And I haven't. I've never claimed that I didn't have respect for them. I'm thankful that they do what they do. I don't touch. I don't ask to touch. I don't ask for extras. I say please and thank you. And I tip because strippers are doing a job. People who work should be paid, right? We tip waitstaff at restaurants too. ;)
I've got news for you: the people most critical of women are women. I took a date to a strip club once because she wanted to see what it was like. You should have heard the things she said! Listening to women rip other women to shreds is hillarious! The most negative things I've ever heard about strippers and stripping in general were said by other women.
So directing your anger toward men is missing the mark, big time.
Jenny
03-30-2006, 04:27 PM
Probably because you realize that you actually do care what others (and society at large) think. Otherwise, you wouldn't have ranted like you did. ;D
Of course she cares. When people say "I don't care" about things like that what they usually mean is "I don't care enough to let it dictate my behaviour." It's just vernacular.
The vast majority of guys who go to strip clubs are like this. Guys don't go to strip clubs because they respect strippers for the human beings they are. They go because they can see an object on stage doing things that many girlfriends or wives won't even do--and they do it in public for the world to see. They go to see a piece of ass.
Again, don't you think it is so interesting how you separate being a human being from being sexual, and sexy and naked and desirable? Like the only way to see someone as sexual is to make them none human - or part of a human ("piece of ass"). I have mixed feelings about stripping, but not for those reasons. I doubt you're married or have a girlfriend (because you obviously have some serious issues with women and with sex. Like this isn't just counter-culture free sexuality talking - even by lay standards that is pretty weird), but if you were don't you think you would like to have a girlfriend you think is hot? That you can think about in a sexy way? Wouldn't you rather have a girl that you thought about while you were masturbating (at least for the first little while) than using a magazine (or a stripper, for that matter)? I know that I like to date people that I constantly imagine and re-imagine sexually; like I would never date someone "nice" and get my kicks elsewhere. That is not a normal thing to do.
Dude - sex is something that humans do. In many ways what we are doing is the apex of human sexuality - it is practically meta-human in nature. And look around - do most of the girls here seem like they are suffering for dates? Are most of them saying "these customers don't want to go out with me" or are they saying "How do I nicely brush off this customer?" I find it interesting how you think that you are in a better position to know how "Most guys in strip clubs feel" than we do. I mean, we practically live in strip clubs. We see more guys spending more time in a strip club in a week than you probably have, ever. Maybe this is actually something we know about? Perhaps even a lot about? Like, if there was a call for experts in this field, do you think that we would be better qualified than you?
Finally, I'm really interested in why - I mean, allowing the obvious trolly, 15 year old boy masturbating to riling up the strippers reasons - you are invested in convincing us that guys don't want to date us, when that is clearly contrary to our cumulative experience - and really, if you add it all up it is like 5000 years of stripping experience.
I've been careful not to interject my personal opinion of strippers into any of this. And I haven't. I've never claimed that I didn't have respect for them. I'm thankful that they do what they do. I don't touch. I don't ask to touch. I don't ask for extras. I say please and thank you. And I tip because strippers are doing a job. People who work should be paid, right? We tip waitstaff at restaurants too. ;)
Yes but you clearly don't have respect for them. If nothing else than you automatic assumption of knowing our lives and our experience better than we do shows you don't have respect for US.
I've got news for you: the people most critical of women are women. I took a date to a strip club once because she wanted to see what it was like. You should have heard the things she said! Listening to women rip other women to shreds is hillarious! The most negative things I've ever heard about strippers and stripping in general were said by other women.
Yeah, I don't find that hilarious. Frankly this really feeds into my former contention that you have some pretty fucked up ideas about women. Or that you are a 15 year old boy. Which is largely the same thing. I kid, I think teenage boys are perfect, actually. I don't mean in a weird way. Read the threads on women in strip clubs. We know. And we don't care for it.
tampafldancer
03-30-2006, 11:28 PM
If a man cannot see through the fact that I am a dancer, then he doesn't see ALL OF ME.
I have dated men that said in the past they would never date dancers. The truth is they would never date the stereotypical dancers we hear about. I am ok with that. I wouldn't date a lawyer... (because of stereotypes) But have I? Yes!! He was a great love of mine at the time and treated me very well. He then again, wasn't a stereotypical lawyer.
Reciently dated an executive of a morg company. He is retired from the biz and owns a couple company's here in Florida. His best friend told me he would never date a dancer. Then said I made him change his mind. :)
tampafldancer
03-30-2006, 11:35 PM
ON another note.
If i was a full time dancer working nightly not going to school with no other interests outside of the strip club... there is no doubt in my mind that men would want to date me a whole lot less.
Role reversal. I wouldn't date another dancer who wanted to stay in the business forever. Why? Because I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life knowing he was flirting with other women as a source of income. But that is who I am.
If a man doesn't want to date me because I dance a couple nights a week (lately) then chances are I never looked twice at him from the beginning. If someone feels so strongly about someone without getting to know them, I feel as if that person is judgemental. Judgemental men clash with me. Even if i wasn't dancing I would want nothing to do with them.
threlayer
03-31-2006, 08:59 AM
AGAIN - the problem is not what others think. What others think is the stereotype which is based on the lowest common denominator. The REAL reason is that it is hard to actually avoid the stereotype person; they are experts at social engineering, so it takes a lot of time (and money) to filter through them.
Lurker
03-31-2006, 09:18 AM
I haven't read the poll comments and lots of them sound really offensive, so I certainly don't want to defend those.
BUT I can understand someone saying they wouldn't date a dancer, in the same way that I might say I don't want to date a consultant who has to travel several months of the year, or a repo woman, or whatever...It's not a blanket statement for most people but a statement of preference. If you ask a "yes or no" question of someone, you're going to get a lot of people picking black or white and ignoring shades of grey. I think like Tampafladancer says, there are lots of people who would respond "No" to that question but if they met a great woman who happened to be a dancer they wouldn't find that a deal-killer.
There will also be a minority of respondents whose religious or other beliefs would rule out dating someone in the industry, and I can't bring myself to criticize those people too much as a group.
And of course there's the issue of online polls and what they really represent. If someone is going to bother weighing in on a poll like that, it's probably b/c he's got a strong opinion. And people being what they are, most of those strong opinions are going to be anti-stripper, for any of a variety of reasons. Nobody wants to say, "Hell, yeah! I LOVE strippers--I love their sexuality, their self confidence etc. etc." on a website for men. But there's undoubtedly a silent majority of men out there who would LOVE to date strippers (and obviously those men aren't ALWAYS silent, e.g. at your clubs) but who don't see the need to respond, let alone post, to an online poll.
Djoser
03-31-2006, 09:50 AM
You know, I've never understood why people have all these stringent requirements for dating anyway...
I mean dating isn't marrying the person, yet we have millions and millions of men and women who won't even consider dating someone who doesn't meet their requirements for the ideal mate--who of course doesn't exist except in Fantasyland.
For that matter, most marriages fail or are tedious traps even if they 'work'.
Like this idiot friend of mine who rejected a very sexy woman because her fucking feet were too big. They weren't that big, and she was pretty cute, and cool. His loss, I'd say, just like it's the loss of these idiots who say they'd never date a stripper.
To be honest, every time I've ever gone to a strip club with the guys the talk inevitably turns to whether or not any of us would ever date or marry a stripper. 100% of the guys I've ever gone to a strip club with wouldn't even enterain the thought of dating a stripper.
-- Interesting. Given what we pay them, they must be providing a rather valuable service, no? Or do you & yr buddies (a) not pay? (b) pay out of sympathy? (c) pay simply to reward her for doing something that *isn't* valuable? I suspicion that most of us pay 'cuz we get something there that we really like that we don't get anywhere else (I do). Given that, they (successful ones, anyway) are highly paid professionals providing a valuable service (that society programs us to look down on). Yet, in your book, they are undatable.
If you don't like them in some way, why do you go to the clubs? To save them? To remind yourself how much better you are than they & all the other guys in the club? To torture yourself? If you do like them in some way, why wouldn't you date one? Ah, perhaps the *way* you like them is different from the way you like someone you would date. If so, then what you are actually saying is that you & yr buddies wouldn't go to dinner/a movie/whatever w/ a professional who provides a valuable service -- *because* she's a professional & the service is erotic.
How about a different but related question: would you date a sex therapist? How about a surrogate?
For the record, I wouldn't date just any stripper, but there are plenty of strippers I'd gladly date. (In fact, I did once go out w/ a girl who is a "mostly-retired" stripper -- she fed me half her grilled chicken sandwich & then started grinding me -- just couldn't get it out of her system, I guess. We were standing in a corner & it wuz dark enuf so that no-one else noticed. I did, tho'. ;D )
Having cheap meaningless sex with a stripper is another issue entirely...
-- Well, it might be meaningless, but it wouldn't be cheap. She'd sense yr 'tude in a millisecond & charge you a pretty penny for it. . . .
Rip
They should post another poll on that site: would a stripper date you?
-- Now *there's* the question. . . !
Rip
P.S. I perpetuate the sterotypes while I'm working. I will play the runaway teenager, abused child, beaten wife, drug addict, alcoholic or whatever. It is what the customers want to hear, so I give it to them. Not always, but sometimes. Sometimes I'm just a very slutty woman who can't get enough of sex and men!
-- I like that last best! ;)
Rip
DeeJayOz
09-07-2006, 02:38 PM
DATE a stripper? Hell. I married one!