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mummy mia
02-10-2007, 01:35 AM
some poor girl on stage with the shits running down her leg as she did her trick on the pole and it sprayed all over the customers sitting at the front!!! swear to god bless her x

lilmisscharisma
02-10-2007, 08:20 AM
some poor girl on stage with the shits running down her leg as she did her trick on the pole and it sprayed all over the customers sitting at the front!!! swear to god bless her x

Oh god, that's nasty. I think the sickest thing I've ever seen was 3 weeks ago- Some chick started her period on one of our stages and didn't notice it. It got all over the stage. The girl that was up after her didn't know either and she was doing floor work and rolled in it. It got all over her. I would've thrown up. She thought it was lotion or something and didn't notice it until a few customers pointed it out.

exotisch23
02-10-2007, 11:59 PM
some poor girl on stage with the shits running down her leg as she did her trick on the pole and it sprayed all over the customers sitting at the front!!! swear to god bless her x

That's just NASTY. :yuck: :yikes:


I think we have a winner here for this thread.

Lola Rose
02-11-2007, 03:03 AM
That's just NASTY. :yuck: :yikes:


I think we have a winner here for this thread.

really, i'm so much more grossed out by period blood on the stage, a la lilmisses story.... i guess i emphasize w/ the dancer more then the custy. lol.

drewcifer
03-12-2007, 05:36 AM
Okay, I have a few. First would have to be this girl Mariah, who I worked with for over two years and never wore anything but the same American flag dress. I guess she was taking a dump when she got called up to stage and ended up running up on stage without wiping her ass. Soooo..... next girl goes up and puts her hand down on the stage to do her floorwork and you see her hand slide out from under her and... well, ends up walking off stage with shit on both her hand and chin.

Next time was the girl who squatted on stage on a packed Friday night and a black condom falls out. Later, in the dressing room, she tells us that she hasn't had sex in over 2 weeks and that it was in there the whole time.

Then, good 'ol Maria. She had Tourette's Syndrome and sometimes (unintentionally) would hit customers when she went to collect stage tips. One time we're watching her bend over in front of a customer on stage and it looked as if she's going to grab a dollar off the rail, but really she was reaching for her asthma inhaler to take a few puffs!

AristtaRoxxx
03-12-2007, 06:58 PM
Well, kind of off topic, but my club is littered with "you might be a redneck".

Such as the time we held a b-day party for a five year old on Sunday afternoon (no dancing. club wasn't open). It was a dancer's son, and she goes, let's go outside for a pinata!

The pinata was a shoebox, duct taped closed, hung in a tree with an extension cord. They start whacking it with a mop, at which point they realize shoe boxes don't a-splode when you whack them. So this little eleven year old whips out a pocketknife, cuts it open, and all the kids fight over the five or six tootsie rolls and nickel (singular) that falls out.

OMG LMAO "a-splode" this thread is hilarious!

phillyvixen
03-13-2007, 11:09 AM
^^^^ That red neck post by Cherry Sin is deffinatly one of my all time favorites in this thread. I remember laughing so hard I cried the first time i read it. And the lawn mower chick visual still makes me laugh when i think about it.

Lola Rose
03-13-2007, 01:32 PM
Next time was the girl who squatted on stage on a packed Friday night and a black condom falls out. Later, in the dressing room, she tells us that she hasn't had sex in over 2 weeks and that it was in there the whole time.


omg. I just got sick in my mouth a little....

AlexxaHex
03-13-2007, 07:04 PM
^^omg when I first read that I thought it said that the condom fell out of her PURSE...I should have known...omg omg omg TWO WEEKS??!!

OJenni!
03-13-2007, 10:14 PM
Here is one...

So I was working at this club for a few days in a small town. The dances are $10 (Canadian) and are done as "table dances". Most of the ladies who work there are 40+ and do not take care of themselves, the ages shows in their faces and saggy bodies. I was 19 and (I hate to be vain but) the hottest girl in the place. So one day this chic comes in, she is much better looking then me and about my age. As it turns out she goes to my school and we get along very well. One thing; I could not really figure out why she is dancing. She comes in everyday, never sells a single dance but just sits around with the customers. One day she comes in, does her stage show (which is mandatory at the club), and sits down with me and a bunch of customers (a group of guys partying). They ask her for a dance and she declines! Wow...I could not believe this chic. Not once does she sell a dance, the DJ even told me that he thinks she comes around because "she is lonely". The DJ fee at the club was $20 a shift and the bar required a minimum of 1 drink, so basically she was spending money because she was lonely.

Lola Rose
03-14-2007, 12:01 AM
Aww, that's so sad :(

toomuchhomeworklately
03-21-2007, 04:46 AM
Wow, all of these have been unbelievable.

All of my stories are based on gossip - I never saw with my eyes any of this crap, but a lot of my resources were reliable.

1. One of the dancers, who was about 27, had a really stinky crotch. The other girls complained about it, worried for their safety as this was a nude club. Management made her go to the doctor. No std's, she just forgot about a tampon 3 weeks ago.

2. A girl goes into a New Orleans club to audition. She's like 300 pounds. The bouncer tells her they're not auditioning & she gets belligerent. This conversation is going on back stage. He calls for back-up. She sees bouncers approaching from every angle & barrels through to the main stage. A skinny blonde is on the main stage, which she bats off. The little blonde flys onto a table, beer bottles sent flying. The fat girl then takes off all her clothing & goes up the pole. Dancers & customers throw $20s near the pole to get her to come down but she screams down that "Only Satan himself can get me down." The police show up. The female officer has to climb up the pole & physically pull this naked fat girl down.

3. There was also a girl I used to work with who would dab her armpits with cocktail napkins while talking to customers. (Not as bad as a lot I've heard here, but still not very lady-like.)

Gemini_Syn
03-21-2007, 07:15 PM
can I go work with cherry_sin now?

Iowa is boring. I have no stories.

VegasPrincess
03-21-2007, 11:29 PM
Totally terrible moment for me, dancing with a former friend. This girl and I go to do a private show for someone. This was the first and last one I did, because of what happened. As we're dancing for him (and by the way, this guy was NEVER told this was part of the deal) she for some reason decides to jerk him off. Like, pull it out of his pants, and jerk him off. The worst part was we had allready gotten PAID UP FRONT, so I don't know what the hell she thought she was doing or why. I excused myself to the ladies room so I didn't have to watch, but I managed to come out of the bathroom just in time to see him splooge. I didn't say one word to her the whole hour long ride home fromt hat show.

Lola Rose
03-22-2007, 12:05 AM
wha a fucktard. ^

Chrissy68
03-22-2007, 12:22 AM
i dont think i have imagined anything like the fat chick up the pole getting pulled off. eek!

ill add another:

a girl named Mimi who drinks constantly, may even come in drunk. she looks like a mimi.. she is too large to be dancing, and not a very good hustler.. she looks like a circus tent (her outfit doesn't help- striped in that same way). anyways, there's a custy who is walking towards a friend of mine (they'd previously discussed a VIP) when Mimi intervenes. she tries to get him to spend money on her instead, but he obviously thinks she's off her rocker (just by the body language). she is leaning in, attacking him verbally when her "hustle" fails, and starts to call him names, as if he wants to be berated. she calls him a bitch and slaps him! he is clearly scared by Mimi the circus tent. he's holding up his hands like whoa whoa no thanks.. and finally she slaps him a final time, says he's the "worst kind of bitch," and walks away. he looks astounded, cannot piece it all togther. instead of getting the VIP he chooses to leave the bar, because mimi the circus tent has scared him off.

AlexxaHex
03-22-2007, 04:24 AM
^^LOL Chrissy!! I'm picturing Mimi from Drew Carey with the crazy eyeshadow! I definitely don't blame the guy for leaving.

kitty260
03-22-2007, 04:46 AM
Here is one...

So I was working at this club for a few days in a small town. The dances are $10 (Canadian) and are done as "table dances". Most of the ladies who work there are 40+ and do not take care of themselves, the ages shows in their faces and saggy bodies. I was 19 and (I hate to be vain but) the hottest girl in the place. So one day this chic comes in, she is much better looking then me and about my age. As it turns out she goes to my school and we get along very well. One thing; I could not really figure out why she is dancing. She comes in everyday, never sells a single dance but just sits around with the customers. One day she comes in, does her stage show (which is mandatory at the club), and sits down with me and a bunch of customers (a group of guys partying). They ask her for a dance and she declines! Wow...I could not believe this chic. Not once does she sell a dance, the DJ even told me that he thinks she comes around because "she is lonely". The DJ fee at the club was $20 a shift and the bar required a minimum of 1 drink, so basically she was spending money because she was lonely.

Are you talking about Thunder Bay by any chance?

Emily
03-22-2007, 10:12 AM
i dont think i have imagined anything like the fat chick up the pole getting pulled off. eek!

ill add another:

a girl named Mimi who drinks constantly, may even come in drunk. she looks like a mimi.. she is too large to be dancing, and not a very good hustler.. she looks like a circus tent (her outfit doesn't help- striped in that same way). anyways, there's a custy who is walking towards a friend of mine (they'd previously discussed a VIP) when Mimi intervenes. she tries to get him to spend money on her instead, but he obviously thinks she's off her rocker (just by the body language). she is leaning in, attacking him verbally when her "hustle" fails, and starts to call him names, as if he wants to be berated. she calls him a bitch and slaps him! he is clearly scared by Mimi the circus tent. he's holding up his hands like whoa whoa no thanks.. and finally she slaps him a final time, says he's the "worst kind of bitch," and walks away. he looks astounded, cannot piece it all togther. instead of getting the VIP he chooses to leave the bar, because mimi the circus tent has scared him off.

I know that guy. he's crazy too. He tried to push my buttons a little, but thats just his thing. He likes to see how people respond.

But I like him. He did a 30min VIP with me and all he did was talk. :)

Poor Mimi. She really needs to put down the wine glass. Did I tell you that that 80 pound girl Casey tried to start with Mimi? That's dangerous territory!

John Doe
03-22-2007, 11:09 AM
Oh, I forgot to mention... the lawnmower bit wasn't an idle threat. My club is in Oklahoma... and she lives about four blocks away. She got her liscence yanked, (DUI related) and so she rides a riding mower to work, with a little flag on the back, and her dance gear strapped to the seat.

OMFG! This is as far as I got in this thread and I honestly can't go any farther. By the time I got to #5 I was in tears and I swear I'll have a heart attack if I continue. Thank you all so much for these stories. You just can't make this kind of stuff up. I can't wait to read more (but not now).


Nothing funnier than a stripper running out of the stall slapping her pussy, "ouch, ouch, fuck, ouch!"

cameronfl
03-22-2007, 12:18 PM
There was a chick I worked with at a serious ghetto club in Pompano years ago. I dont know whether she was drugged up or off her meds(at this club it could have been either or both!)...seriously INSANE skinny little black girl(I forget her name).
She apparently danced for a guy who didnt pay her....so after screaming her head off at him and hitting him with her shoe...she runs out the back door to the parking lot...comes back with a baseball bat that was in her car and proceeds to beat the crap out of him with the bat before bouncers can pull her off.

She didnt even get fired....was just sent home for the day. This was about the time i thought that finding a new club might be a good idea.

mollyzmoon
03-22-2007, 01:03 PM
Are you talking about Thunder Bay by any chance?

Nah, she's from south Ontario. And they don't let you refuse dances in Tbay!! I tried when I was all freaking out, and they're like "uh, go dance for that guy...he's been WAITING for you, you DANCER".

Oh man, I just read this whole thread all over again. Wow man, that's some entertainment.

Sinful333
03-22-2007, 01:17 PM
A girl gets really drunk and a customer offers her to smoke pot. She takes the customer back in the bathrooom and he gives her crack instead of pot. She instantly tells him to lick her pussy and he does. She then tells him to stick his fingers in and he does. She then tells him to finger her asshole and he does. Then she tells him to eat her asshole and he declines.

She is yelling at him, "Is that all you got bitch, finger fuck my asshole." So the guy is really going to town. She then tells him to eat her asshole agian and forces his face down there.

A few minutes later the bartender and myself walk in the bathroom where there is a smell from hell and there is SHIT all over the bathroom and on her. The customer had shit on his face, in his teeth, clothes, hands and stayed in the club for another hour.

The girls cleans up the bathroom and promptly comes out and tries to jack the guys crack out of his pocket.

True story... and VERY recent.

Miss_Luscious
03-22-2007, 04:34 PM
There was a dancer at my club who was dating the DJ. One day they decided to have sex in the DJ booth. Problem is, the booth is level with the floor and everyone can see in there. So girls and customers are walking by as she is fucking him (trying to make it look like she is actually giving him a lapdance or something) but we're not totally sure if they're fucking so we don't say anything. They she comes in the dressing room and anounces that she did in fact fuck him. She doesn't wash her cooch or use a baby wipe or anything, she just goes back out onto the floor like nothing happened. It's a topless club so we didn't have to see any cum dripping out of her pussy or anything but still...EWWWWWW!!!!!!

John Doe
03-27-2007, 09:11 PM
<clip> Sat back down on his lap, and to my HORROR, I sat on his erect penis that he had pulled out his pants. I ran away screaming, but to my amusement, I somehow managed to grab all his money off the table as I ran.

You girls crack me up!



<clip> we had a custie who drove his lawnmower to the club. He would tell all the new girls that all the girls went for rides on his lawnmower. Nobody was dumb enough to do it.

Yes! Yes! We need more lawnmowers and less bodily fluids in this thread :)

John Doe
03-27-2007, 09:13 PM
some poor girl on stage with the shits running down her leg as she did her trick on the pole and it sprayed all over the customers sitting at the front!!! swear to god bless her x

And the saga continues! You guys are killin' me!

Sasquatch13
03-28-2007, 04:08 PM
In rebuttle to the member who called iowa boring I have a few to share:

-This was about three or four months ago and my friend and I went to a club which we frequent on a friday night. It was still early so the club was fairly dead. The management had hired a couple of new girls since the last time he and I went there, and one of them was on stage when we walked in. Everything seemed normal until the new girl on stage started rubbing her crotch in this guys face as he was tipping her, literally in his face, a mustache ride if you will. This is strictly forbidden at this club and she gets a warning not to do it as she is still on stage. After she is done on stage she makes her floor rounds and comes to sit with my friend and I. When she thinks niether of us is looking she takes the money that one of us had on the table and when we call her on it she tries to distract us by giving us both a dollar dance at the same time(wierd). After she drops the money on the floor and walks away my friend and I talk to management and about two minutes later she gets fired. This girl she wearing the big flashy tight hig stripper boots and a button up mens dress shirt when dancing. When she got fired she went in back grabbed her stuff and made went straight outside still in her stripper getup, and she waited out in the parking lot for about 30 min for a cab to come pick her up, parking lot is clearly visable from the street.

-This one is more recent. Another buddy and I were at a club and it was about 30 min before close. He goes back to get one last dance and while he is back there there was a big commotion in the dressing room, and all the girls and bouncers ran in the back to see what was going on. 2 min later a female customer comes out of the dressing room with a cut on her hand yelling, Fucking bitch fucking shanked me! a few seconds later one of the dancers comes out of the back with a pair of scissors and begins lunging at the bleeding girl. Takes all four of the bouncers to detain the two women as they were trying to fight. After all the commotionsettled done one of the dancers walked by and I asked what the hell just happened and she told me the female customer was the dancers lesbien lover and the dancer found out that she had been cheating on her.

-This one didn't really happen in a club, more right outside of one. The setting is a rundown midwestern downtown city block. It's late summer, hot and humid as hell. I'm driving down the street and start to pass a SC on the corner when I notice that there are about ten girls sitting out on the sidewalk in front of the club in lawn chairs sunbathing while still wearing there stripper clothes. This club was a shithole that tripled as a crack house and a whorehouse, so most of the girls were to say the least fairly unattractive. Anyway it made me chuckle as I drove by at around 4:00 or 5:00 PM.

UtahMike
03-28-2007, 10:04 PM
There was this club, now closed down, where I got to be friends with some of the regular dancers. So, one time when I was making a visit, I took them a 7up Truck Drivers Calendar. They took it back in the dressing room and put it up for everyone to get a laugh.

A month or so later, the manager got fired for skimming cash off the bar. When he left, he took the calendar with him.

Chrissy68
03-28-2007, 10:24 PM
Poor Mimi. She really needs to put down the wine glass. Did I tell you that that 80 pound girl Casey tried to start with Mimi? That's dangerous territory!


yea you did.. that's another sad lil one. girl must be like 80 lbs, super duper tiny. she gets trashed at work and picks fights with really tall scary looking girls, like Mimi. she picked one with Emily- for those of you who dont know what Em looks like, she's 5'10" and athletically built.
it would have been really funny to watch, tiny casey vs mimi the circus tent. we could have sold tickets }:D

burnedrose
03-29-2007, 07:54 AM
Best story I have is the russian girl at my club who went home with Ron Jeremy. She was seen, with Ron jeremy driving her car, presumabley back to the hotel. I saw her last night, and she informed me, with great delight, that she fucked Ron Jeremy...

I kinda just sat there and stared for a bit. I dunno why she would be proud of that, but oh well.

Another time was when a dancer was on stage, and this guy walks in. She's up on the pole, turns around, sees him standing at the enterance (which is about ten feet from the stage edge), and she throws herself at him, from the tip top of the pole, so she got some serious airtime. She started smacking the guy and shit. Evidently, it was her baby daddy, who didnt know she worked there and who owed her about $5k in child support backpay.

John Doe
03-30-2007, 01:19 PM
http://www.styleforum.net/images/smilies/lurker%5B1%5D.gif

Lysondra
03-30-2007, 05:20 PM
Best story I have is the russian girl at my club who went home with Ron Jeremy. She was seen, with Ron jeremy driving her car, presumabley back to the hotel. I saw her last night, and she informed me, with great delight, that she fucked Ron Jeremy...

I kinda just sat there and stared for a bit. I dunno why she would be proud of that, but oh well.

Another time was when a dancer was on stage, and this guy walks in. She's up on the pole, turns around, sees him standing at the enterance (which is about ten feet from the stage edge), and she throws herself at him, from the tip top of the pole, so she got some serious airtime. She started smacking the guy and shit. Evidently, it was her baby daddy, who didnt know she worked there and who owed her about $5k in child support backpay.

Rule #1.. NEVER mess with a stripper's money. Even if it's child support.

A.n.a.l.a.
05-06-2007, 02:19 AM
We have a girl currently at a club I work at that started cleaning chairs the other day. We think she is on meth, but damn that girl has a cover-up like no other. We also have a washer and dryer in the dancer room and she started cleaning out the washer with a rag and bleach and the dryer with q-tips.
Crazy ass bitches.

you're club must be uberclean! lol :P

Asurfael
05-06-2007, 03:36 AM
We had a girl once who is these days employed as a dominatrix not a stripper. Unsurprisingly she used to attract customers to fit that criteria when she still worked strip clubs, too. So she had this one very wimpy customer buy her a bottle of champagne, and then took her glass and went back to sit with the other girls rather than the customer who she's supposed to be with for the duration of the champagne. Said customer waits for her for a while and when she doesn't come back he follows her and starts with an "Excuse me, but..." She tells him to quit whining. He says he must insist at which point she reaches down to her crotch, pulls out a bloody tampon, stuffs it in his mouth and sends him back to guard the champagne whilst occasionally going for a refill!

Personally I had worked a non-alcohol club before and when I started working in one that not only served alcohol but gave girls provision payment for any champagne and ladies' drinks they sold, well... We have a bubble machine on the slippery side of the stage, we called it the slippery side because there was no carpet on the wooden floor and because of the bubbles it was slippery. Having never walked that side before after a couple of bottles of champagne I decided to dare it. Walking up to the stage, unsurprisingly, I fall straight on my butt dragging down a chair from the stage with me trying to reach for support. No biggie, I put the chair back, reach the stage again for support, stand up and fall straight back on my butt. At this point another dancer I was sharing a table with comes up to me and pushes me up on the stage by my butt. I reach for the pole, the dance looks drunken but goes relatively well. Going back to the table I could hear her say "See, I told you she'd do fine once she got a good hold of the pole!"

After that I nearly passed out on the floor of the dressing room and in another 10 minutes had to go home. Almost got sanctioned for it but was later given an OK being told that in the future if the bubbly creeps up on me it is better to leave when you know you're no longer up for the job than to try desperately to stay.

A few weeks later I was seen by customers wearing my work clothes, my normal jacket and a pair of loafers with my stay-up socks vomiting all over the backyard until my ride came.

Needless to say I have learned my lesson about the alcohol so far and just sell the champagne for provision drinking soda mixed with ice tea (for the colour)!

IvyLee
05-06-2007, 06:34 AM
I was in OK City for business and went out to a SC with some co workers. I heard a good house song after a while and to show my appreciation i tipped the girl on stage. She then grabbed my head and shoved them in between her boobs shook and bent me over the rail and ran her finger across my who-haa... all for a DOLLAR!

AvaAdore
05-06-2007, 09:52 PM
new girl auditions in gentlemans club. Only one customer in at foot of stage (a regular) who is reading a newspaper.. Girl proceeds to 'dance' doing odd side-steps with hands on hips and slow LUNGES (like monty pythons silly walks!) then turns round pole and catches bracelet on hair. Hair comes off and hangs from wrist and girl is bald! Girl is so nervous she throws wig at custy who's now hiding behind paper and it hits him smack in the face. Not a dry eye in the place. She stayed an hour to see if she'd got the job but the boss couldnt talk to her for laughing!



That made me laugh until I peed a little:O

BaileyBanksNBiddle
05-07-2007, 08:24 AM
There once was a girl at my club who had this great body but her face was so horrid it would scare the shit out of the boogie man! She was always pretty drunk and most of the time on other drugs too. One night she actually passed out leaning on the pole and then proceeded to fall off the stage into the customers...low and behold this was not the first time.

AJM1987
05-07-2007, 11:24 AM
Ha ha ha. I remember her. The crazy cartwheel girl. LOL.

erotictonic
05-07-2007, 11:33 AM
That's what you're going to find when a sc will hire anyone who walks in the door - the LCD. I don't see what's so funny about people who are down, stupid, or ignorant, but then again, I'm not a stripper, nor am I down, stupid, or ignorant.

It seems like you guys would be starting threads entitled "Stripper Hall of Fame", considering the fact that alot of you don't like the stripper image.

NatalieFRPhilly
05-07-2007, 12:14 PM
That's what you're going to find when a sc will hire anyone who walks in the door - the LCD. I don't see what's so funny about people who are down, stupid, or ignorant, but then again, I'm not a stripper, nor am I down, stupid, or ignorant.

It seems like you guys would be starting threads entitled "Stripper Hall of Fame", considering the fact that alot of you don't like the stripper image.

perhaps this is a thread where we can have a laugh at the strippers that are an embarrassment to our clubs. Since you're not a stripper, and you don't work with them like we do, you won't see our point so if you don't like it don't post.

britt244
05-07-2007, 12:32 PM
perhaps this is a thread where we can have a laugh at the strippers that are an embarrassment to our clubs. Since you're not a stripper, and you don't work with them like we do, you won't see our point so if you don't like it don't post.

:yes:

this thread is funny, if you dont think so then i agree, you shouldnt read it.

Chrissy68
05-07-2007, 10:39 PM
That's what you're going to find when a sc will hire anyone who walks in the door - the LCD. I don't see what's so funny about people who are down, stupid, or ignorant, but then again, I'm not a stripper, nor am I down, stupid, or ignorant.

It seems like you guys would be starting threads entitled "Stripper Hall of Fame", considering the fact that alot of you don't like the stripper image.

who stole your sense of humor?? really tho, this is just a tribute to the stupidest/funniest/whacked out crap we never thought we'd see but we effin did. and dammit, it's entertaining to tell and read.

it's when people start talking about how we are all abused and our daddies didn't love us and we all have kids and dont have no dagnabbit edumacation. (that was humor, fyi, just in case you missed it)
well that's plain just not true. i've met more driven, intelligent and wonderful dancers than i have "normal" non dancer people. and you know what? they are open minded, a rare quality it's seeming nowadays. anyways.. i think you missed the point here of this thread. hopefully now you get it.

Lisbeth
05-08-2007, 07:02 AM
I just wanted to say that I blame all of you for my having to re-do my makeup before work. Some of these had me laughing so hard I had to wipe tears away, neatly smearing eyeliner. Thanks SW :-) You guys are the best!

as_intended
05-08-2007, 09:53 AM
Firstly this is seriously the best thread ever, 10 pages long and I'm still laughing. Mentionables including the "you murdered it" chick and the lawnmower chick. lol

I also have one or 2 to tell:

#1 - Crazy girl is sitting at a lunch table with myself 3 customers and one other girl (we served lunch at this particular club). The topic is deadly diseases and if they are cureable (don't ask me why i wasn't there when the topic started).

Crazy girl gets angry about argument about Hep C and says (while slurping from a customers drink and eating off his fork) I have Hep C and I think I would know if it was cureable or not!"

*shocked look on everyones face, customer gets his bill, complains and leaves. Crazy girl gets fired*

2# New girl starts @ club, she is suspected of being an extras girl. Few days after she starts we keep finding used bloody tampons on bench under mirror this goes on for about 3 days and everyone is really upset about it (unhygenic and dirty) etc etc.

We talk to New girls customer who is also a regular and he tells us she is staying with him and that she leaves tampons all over the house. New girl gets fired. (thank god)

3# This one is actually about me. I never get drunk at work as I'm a sloppy drunk and i don't focus on work if i have too many. One night I go VERY overboard with champagne and am asked to get on stage. I argue with the Manager for 10 mins that i just don't think I'm in a state for stage and she tells me either to get on stage or go home. I am making money still and the club is full so i decide to try stage.

So i get up and I think I'm a total star as you do, when one of the other dancers decides to come watch and cheer me on etc. So I'm mid spin when i relise I've hit something and I've landed ass up onto the wooden stage. I look around and the "other dancer" has a massive bleeding mess in the middle of her face. I start laughing in shock at first and because I'm messy drunk. The other dancer is holding her bleeding forehead and the whole club has gone dead quiet.

For 2 weeks she had a scab in the middle of her forehead and a massive bruise. Lucky we were friend and I apoligised close to a billion times or i would of had my arse beat. I still feel bad every time i run into her. I still even check to see if theres a scar.:-\ They nicknamed her hoof face for like a week or so.

NatalieFRPhilly
05-08-2007, 12:18 PM
#1 - Crazy girl is sitting at a lunch table with myself 3 customers and one other girl (we served lunch at this particular club). The topic is deadly diseases and if they are cureable (don't ask me why i wasn't there when the topic started).

Crazy girl gets angry about argument about Hep C and says (while slurping from a customers drink and eating off his fork) I have Hep C and I think I would know if it was cureable or not!"

*shocked look on everyones face, customer gets his bill, complains and leaves. Crazy girl gets fired*


Oh god the poor custy! I only share drinks with people I know well! That is just scary.

TheSexKitten
05-08-2007, 01:34 PM
Hep C isn't transmitted by saliva... Still gross, but not scary.

as_intended
05-08-2007, 10:00 PM
Yeah she was a nut job. an utter nut job. another instance was one night before the hep c incident she was in the toilet for ages and the manager knocked to see if she was alright. she was in there for close to 20 mins and everyone just assumed she was doing drugs. The manager asked her to open the door cos she also thought this girl was doing drugs. she opened the door and there was crap all over the floor and the crazy girl had used a roll of toilet paper trying to clean it up. The smell was overwelming i dont know how i forgot that one in my other post.

Fabulous Disaster
06-17-2007, 06:23 PM
My friend is giving a dance one night when the guy decides to unzip his pants and whip it out in front of her. Without missing a beat she looks at him and yells so that everyone can hear her, "Oh my God! That resembles a penis, only smaller!" He is sitting there in shock, and she tells him, "Honey, you should take that thing home and put it to bed, it looks exhausted." He zipped up his pants and ran out the front door like his ass was on fire.

red red red
06-17-2007, 08:43 PM
^^^ LOL, that doesn't sound so shameful!

At the first divey club I worked at, there was this girl named Miranda who was really self-conscious about some baby-weight she'd put on since the last time she'd been on the pole. Being a wide-eyed newbie, I was very polite to her despite the fact that every time she opened her mouth, my eyes opened that much wider. She would do things like address black dancers at the club in this sort of ebonics-patois that was not her natural vernacular, be completely wasted by 4 in the afternoon on a dayshift, and walk around accusing people of laughing at her. Miranda was a mess, and not a particularly hot one.

Anyway, one day I'm sitting at the bar with a customer, who has made me laugh at something. I had not even realized Miranda was on stage until she gets off the pole, walks off, leans over all the well liquor to get right in my face and scream, "YOU'RE LAUGHING AT ME CAUSE I'M HEAVY!" Shocked, I told her that this was not true, that the customer had in fact just been telling me a joke. "I CAN TELL YOU LAUGH AT ME. I'M TELLING THE MANAGER!"

The music's still playing, the club's half full, it's her turn on stage... and she gets off stage, goes back into the dressing room to find the female manager (who's a piece of work herself). I continue my conversation with the guys I was talking to because I hadn't really done anything to be nervous about. She comes back with the female manager, who is wearing a pair of black stretch pants, flip flops, and this old shot-out flesh colored bra, and proceeds to stand there while the manager asks me if I were "making fun of Miranda because she was heavy."

I just said, "No."

The manager points to the pole and says, "Well get the fuck back on stage then, why are you bothering me about this?"

Miranda gets back onto the stage, leans over the well liquor again, and proceeds to tell me and the guys I'm sitting with all about how hard it is to take weight off after you've had a baby.

...then she asks them to buy her a long island iced tea.

Littlelo
06-17-2007, 10:11 PM
One of the supidest girls I've ever met (and that's really saying something) worked with me for about 3 days at my first club. This girl had herself some "lovely" Wallmart thongs. One night I glanced at the stage to see that she'd somehow put them on sideways = crotch strap on hip. I pulled her aside and let her know. She went back to the dressing room tp fix it, only to come out with it on wrong again = crotch now on the OTHER hip. O.o I thought, you've got to be kidding...nope she was again, totally unaware. Did I mention that she was sober? lol

This was many years ago, and most thongs had wider side-straps than they do now, but STILL!

The most recent absurdity was a dancer looking at my legs and saying "are you wearing thigh highs?"....I was wearing stockings... they were black, and I'm very pale....what the heck else could they be?? She was new and young so I didn't laugh in her face, but I think my eyebrows got lost in my hairline.