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not_a_custy
08-05-2006, 09:24 PM
I've never been to a club or really knew anything about the industry so I was amazed to learn what an icy cold business like environment a strip club is. These forums are a great way to learn about this. Really an eye opener. This is NOT a troll post or a shot at strippers or customers but just a comment from an outsider
who is interested in why you all go to clubs.

mr_punk
08-06-2006, 07:57 AM
I've never been to a club or really knew anything about the industry so I was amazed to learn what an icy cold business like environment a strip club is.it's only icy to the people who don't realize there are some things you just can't buy in a sc.

not_a_custy
08-06-2006, 11:53 AM
I would be interested in what you mean by "can't buy". Please elaborate.

Richard_Head
08-06-2006, 12:14 PM
I would be interested in what you mean by "can't buy". Please elaborate.I'm assuming that he means that you "can't buy" a relationship in a SC, if you go in trying you will be sorely disappointed. Keep you head about things, know the games that are played, maybe play a few yourself and it can be a very enjoyable experience.

not_a_custy
08-06-2006, 01:30 PM
This is cool! I really see a big difference in this business and most others though. I'll explain by talking about some comments dancers and custies have made. A recent thread talked about meeting dancers in everyday life like grocery shopping etc. If I see a friend from another business I patronise, then I'll always say hi and initiate a friendly conversation. I understand this is a big no-no for a dancer and custy. In otherwords, all the warmth and human connection is removed when strip clubs are involved. Even the simplest of situations are frought with implications.

Casual Observer
08-06-2006, 02:38 PM
In otherwords, all the warmth and human connection is removed when strip clubs are involved. Even the simplest of situations are frought with implications.

I disagree entirely.

While keeping in the forefront of one's mind the need to have realistic expecations within the unrealistic environment of the SC, there are plenty of opportunities for genuine connections--they do happen. One only has to learn to separate what is business and what is personal and this comes with a certain degree of experience.

With regard to the dancer in the supermarket, one simply needs to exercise discretion given the stigma dancers still suffer by and large with the public.

dippidy dave
08-06-2006, 02:54 PM
all strippers aren't icey cold & all of us customers aren't bumbling idiots like the pink side says we are. if i see a dancer at the supermarket i'll just smile & if they want to say hi then i'll talk to them. i run into alot of dancers some who are very freindly at the club run like hell if the see you at a bar & some of them i've barely said two words to at the sc will act like your best buddy when you run into them at a normal bar

not_a_custy
08-06-2006, 03:00 PM
I agree on discretion and I would never start a convo about the business unless a dancer
does so first. In fact, I have a friend who is a dancer that I met through her regular work which is what brought me to these forums in the first place.. I have known her for years before she mentioned her weekend job. I'm so glad that she became a friend with me otc and the business because we have none of the strain in the relationship that would come if I had met her through her club. Under this circumstance we can be regular ordinary good friends with no other implications or expectations. My girl, who is a knock out good looking chick, is also very good friends with this lady. My girl joked with me about getting a job with our friend at her club. I told her she would do fine though she is not in the least serious about doing that.:)

mr_punk
08-06-2006, 03:44 PM
I would be interested in what you mean by "can't buy". Please elaborate.RH answered part of what i'm implying, but at the root level what i'm referring to is authenticity. paradoxically, most customers are obsessed with it despite the artificial nature of sc. ultimately, if you're looking for authenticity, stick to civilians and stay away from sex workers. OTOH, if you're looking for expertise in a certain arena, like say, the deep, sloppy, aggressive, renlentless and abnormal depletion of bodily fluids by oral manipulation. well, it's just a matter of comparison shopping.}:D


In otherwords, all the warmth and human connection is removed when strip clubs are involved.LOL...oh, you definately need to stay away from sc. you're looking at it the wrong way.

FBR
08-06-2006, 04:21 PM
Youre very interested in learning about what makes us tick. So why dont you just hit some clubs and gain some experience?

FBR

Mastridonicus
08-06-2006, 04:28 PM
I disagree entirely.

While keeping in the forefront of one's mind the need to have realistic expecations within the unrealistic environment of the SC, there are plenty of opportunities for genuine connections--they do happen. One only has to learn to separate what is business and what is personal and this comes with a certain degree of experience.

With regard to the dancer in the supermarket, one simply needs to exercise discretion given the stigma dancers still suffer by and large with the public.

Second.

The problem all begins when you go in there thinking your different than everybody else.

not_a_custy
08-06-2006, 06:20 PM
Actually, rather than ever go to a club I'd much rather talk to all of you here. I love this kind of interchange because it's seriously real and you will probably say things here you would avoid in real life. It's true that I crave real experiences instead of the make believe of the club so I'm sure I'd be very uncomfortable with that enviroment. Probably offend the women and annoy everyone in general and I sincerely do NOT want to do that. I've been reading the dos and don'ts of clubbing and it seems as rigid as a military field manual. lol
I appreciate your comments and your understanding attitude toward my naivity and don't think for a minute this is in anyway judgemental or disapproving. Clubbing is just not for me
and thanks to all of you I don't have to find out the hard way:) One club's rules stated that if you tried to talk to a dancer as she was leaving work the bouncers would probably discourage you severely which is,of course, good to know for the dancers' sake.

not_a_custy
08-06-2006, 08:09 PM
Strangely enough, with my attitude, I don't think I could really enjoy the nudity. I've read enough of the dancers' comments to realise what they do is hard work that usually involves
suffering some physical and a lot of mental abuse from insensitive fools. This is no white knight crusade on my part but just a reason to not add to the insensitivity. I have a lot of good conversations with clothed females IRL that I feel comfortable with. No stress on either side of the exchange. I truly hope you all have a great time at the clubs whether a dancer or customer!:)

Katrine
08-06-2006, 08:19 PM
Ah, paralysis by analysis. This isn't real life either, NAC. We're just a subset of a microcosm. We don't reprsent most strippers, and most of the guys here aren't like most customers. You, I fear, represent most customers though.

merely_lurking
08-06-2006, 08:22 PM
Yawn.

mr_punk
08-06-2006, 08:39 PM
strangely enough, with my attitude, I don't think I could really enjoy the nudity.why? wait, don't tell me. is it because sc objectifies women as sex objects? if so, are you canadian by any chance?

I've read enough of the dancers' comments to realise what they do is hard work that usually involves suffering some physical and a lot of mental abuse from insensitive fools. This is no white knight crusade on my part but just a reason to not add to the insensitivity.oh, you're worried about not being a proper gentleman.

I have a lot of good conversations with clothed females IRL that I feel comfortable with. No stress on either side of the exchange.stress? it's not that kind of rodeo. you're not taking them out for a movie and ice cream sodas afterwards.

not_a_custy
08-06-2006, 08:43 PM
Katrine, I disagree about not being a pretty good cross section since it seems posts come from the States and other countries also. A lot of posters with a lot of different perspectives
to share. Why do you think mine is a typical customer attitude?

Jenny
08-06-2006, 08:54 PM
Hmm. How did you come to be here? I don't mean that in a "get the hell out and you don't belong here" kind of way - but someone who has never been a club, and never wants to go to a club - where does the interest come from?

Mastridonicus
08-07-2006, 08:00 AM
Hmm. How did you come to be here? I don't mean that in a "get the hell out and you don't belong here" kind of way - but someone who has never been a club, and never wants to go to a club - where does the interest come from?

Because the slowly growing buldge in his pants is beginning to argue with his mind about 'wants' and 'needs'.

not_a_custy
08-07-2006, 03:40 PM
Not a Canadian nor too worried about objectifying women either lol No bulge in my pants that my girl can't take care of perfectly either :) As I said earlier, the only reason I'm here is because of our friend who is in the business on the weekends. Curiousity about her world without prying and asking questions that might offend or hurt her feelings. Mostly I'm here to have a conversation about this without any inclination to be involved in this lifestyle. I read and talk about everything from skydiving to helicopter flying to sailing without ever engaging in any of these activities. If this offends anyone then ignore me and I'll drop the subject. I just feel from reading the pink side that a person is a whole lot safer to develop a friendly emotional relationship before he/she has a naked woman grinding their lap }:D I already have that with my girl and dancers aren't really there for emotional encumbrances anyway. Again, I do NOT wish to offend anyone
or act in any way judgemental as you all seem to have a great time and I've enjoyed reading everyone of your experiences. It sounds like this is a wonderful hobby for those with the right mindset. It's just not for me or my girl. Cheers to all of you and thanks for some interesting replies:)

azcustomer
08-07-2006, 04:50 PM
Living vicariously through everyone else's experiences without engaging yourself. Claiming to be fully secure in the relationships you do have, while trying to participate in this and other forums as a voyer, trying to provide commentary and engaging others - trying to establish a "we" relationship while maintaining your perspective on the world as the dominant/appropriate.

Check the warning post on the pink side.

Classic stalker personality...

not_a_custy
08-07-2006, 07:14 PM
Whatever you say azcustomer, I always enjoy amateur psychology comments too. Says more about you than it does me.:) Not going to fight or troll with you!

Jenny
08-07-2006, 07:31 PM
Okay - well from my point of view as a dancer with very few friends who are dancers. A lot of people are interested/facinated with dancing - either the faux glamour, or the seediness I guess. They mostly talk to me about it, and I've answered a lot of questions (including the ubiquitous "Can they touch you?"). I would find it really, really, really weird (yes, 3 reallies - that weird) if they went, googled "stripper", found stripperweb and started "conversations" here to find things out about me and my life rather than asking me. Just something to consider if your pal the stripper is the reason you are really here.

not_a_custy
08-07-2006, 08:13 PM
Jenny, I appreciate the thought so I'll tell you how I see it. As I understand it dancers are frequently reluctant to let their club life cross over into their real life. I respect her privacy
as many other dancers have repeatedly said they appreciate from friends outside of the club life. Another thing is that my girl and I want our friendship with this woman to have none of the connection to her club life. From what I understand dancers have custys and then they have friends and the two are never the same. We do a fair amount of business
at this lady's day job in addition to some social functions outside of work and we do not want to spoil this. If you consider that creepy then nothing I can say or do will change your opinion:) I consider it a simple courtesy to satisfy my curiousity about this lifestyle on the Net rather than hounding my friend to talk about something she might wish to keep separate and private. I'm not obsessed with HER particular experiences or life but just the club scene in general and I've learned enough to know it's not for us. However, we always enjoy hearing about her weekend if she chooses to talk about it. Her choice and nothing more.

yoda57us
08-09-2006, 07:05 AM
NAC: The internet is the internet and clubs are clubs. Talking about visiting or working in a club is not the same as actually being in one. If your only frame of reference is this board than you are missing out (albeit intentionaly) on the live experience. Sorry but you've got no business judging people involved in the sex industry based solely on what is written here.

This site exists for dancers and customers. If you are neither and you have no interest in exploring the reality of the environment that the rest of us are living in you are just a troll in my book.

rockie
08-09-2006, 05:04 PM
If the poster chooses not to participate in the strip club scene - so be it. I would only find issue with that if he were here passing judgement on others who do. There is some perspective gained from the discussions on this board. So far this isn't a typical troll post, so hey - no harm, no foul!

not_a_custy
08-09-2006, 07:13 PM
Rockie, thanks very much for getting exactly what I've been saying! I am most certainly not a troll and I've stated repeatedly that I respect both clubbers and the dancers. The thing I love more than any other about the Net is the real honesty and truth that can come out behind the anonymity of the www. I've learned so much about the club scene from this and other great threads and I've enjoyed every word. Better to be thought a troll here than a PL inside a club at the expense of people who are just trying to make a living. Dancers have remarked how some newbies and even some old hands have literally made or ruined an evening at work just by a few words or actions.

yoda57us
08-12-2006, 07:10 PM
For what it's worth I get what your saying I just don't buy it. Why should you care about being thought a PL in the club if you have no plans to actually visit one?

A polite and clever troll is still a troll.