Beauty's Release
08-13-2006, 03:41 PM
From another perspective, you could say that if you escalate the punishment and the child is truly acting terrible and "needs" to be spanked then after some time you may need to escalate again to something harsher. I have heard from children who were disciplined this way and after a while spanking is not the threat it once was.
Also, spanking can't make a child "feel sorry about what they did" That change happens in the mind, and when they understand why what they did is not ok. You can't induce remorse by hitting a child. That's the thing...it's such a physical thing. It doesn't exactly promote communication. Maybe it disciplines, or maybe it just makes them pissed off/hating you and scared and to learn to deal with issues physically rather than verbally.
I disagree that children are always on better behaviour around people that are not their mothers. Maybe relatives, but children will test babysitters very very much. I know because I babysat for a long time. Spanking someone else's children was not an option, and the kids knew that so they would act out something fierce at first.
How did I keep them in line? Use your voice, establish authority from the start. Talking to them if they were old enough, and for all ages keeping them distracted. Pay attention to them. Explain things as best you can. If they're little hold them or sing to them. A lot of it was preventing the situation in the first place as well. Making sure they don't get over tired, go too long without eating, whatever.
I consider hitting abusive, and I always thought spanking was a little perverted. It is their ass, after all and no one should be whacking it. I think the reason it's so prevalent is it's just socially acceptable by now, which I find a little sad. Of course, people are going to raise their children as they will but I know it is possible to raise kids without hitting them. Yes, even the little "terrors" And as I mentioned before, if the lashing out is uncontrollable and happens all the time, there is usually a reason behind it. Kids aren't just born like that.
Also, spanking can't make a child "feel sorry about what they did" That change happens in the mind, and when they understand why what they did is not ok. You can't induce remorse by hitting a child. That's the thing...it's such a physical thing. It doesn't exactly promote communication. Maybe it disciplines, or maybe it just makes them pissed off/hating you and scared and to learn to deal with issues physically rather than verbally.
I disagree that children are always on better behaviour around people that are not their mothers. Maybe relatives, but children will test babysitters very very much. I know because I babysat for a long time. Spanking someone else's children was not an option, and the kids knew that so they would act out something fierce at first.
How did I keep them in line? Use your voice, establish authority from the start. Talking to them if they were old enough, and for all ages keeping them distracted. Pay attention to them. Explain things as best you can. If they're little hold them or sing to them. A lot of it was preventing the situation in the first place as well. Making sure they don't get over tired, go too long without eating, whatever.
I consider hitting abusive, and I always thought spanking was a little perverted. It is their ass, after all and no one should be whacking it. I think the reason it's so prevalent is it's just socially acceptable by now, which I find a little sad. Of course, people are going to raise their children as they will but I know it is possible to raise kids without hitting them. Yes, even the little "terrors" And as I mentioned before, if the lashing out is uncontrollable and happens all the time, there is usually a reason behind it. Kids aren't just born like that.