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Beauty's Release
08-13-2006, 03:41 PM
From another perspective, you could say that if you escalate the punishment and the child is truly acting terrible and "needs" to be spanked then after some time you may need to escalate again to something harsher. I have heard from children who were disciplined this way and after a while spanking is not the threat it once was.

Also, spanking can't make a child "feel sorry about what they did" That change happens in the mind, and when they understand why what they did is not ok. You can't induce remorse by hitting a child. That's the thing...it's such a physical thing. It doesn't exactly promote communication. Maybe it disciplines, or maybe it just makes them pissed off/hating you and scared and to learn to deal with issues physically rather than verbally.

I disagree that children are always on better behaviour around people that are not their mothers. Maybe relatives, but children will test babysitters very very much. I know because I babysat for a long time. Spanking someone else's children was not an option, and the kids knew that so they would act out something fierce at first.

How did I keep them in line? Use your voice, establish authority from the start. Talking to them if they were old enough, and for all ages keeping them distracted. Pay attention to them. Explain things as best you can. If they're little hold them or sing to them. A lot of it was preventing the situation in the first place as well. Making sure they don't get over tired, go too long without eating, whatever.

I consider hitting abusive, and I always thought spanking was a little perverted. It is their ass, after all and no one should be whacking it. I think the reason it's so prevalent is it's just socially acceptable by now, which I find a little sad. Of course, people are going to raise their children as they will but I know it is possible to raise kids without hitting them. Yes, even the little "terrors" And as I mentioned before, if the lashing out is uncontrollable and happens all the time, there is usually a reason behind it. Kids aren't just born like that.

Vaughn
08-13-2006, 04:27 PM
While I do not have kids of my own, based on what I have seen in life thus far I believe that spanking teaches kids to solve their problems with violence.

ga peach
08-13-2006, 05:34 PM
i have tw /:O o chilren a boy 7 and a girl 6 i would spank my children if they need it only after they have been repeatdly warned and then it is with a hand never any objects i believe it is up to the parents discrection but i would never agree with abuse or a beating of any kind mine get 2 or 3 pops on thier butt most of the time i only have to speak and they know i mean buisness

newbler
08-13-2006, 08:25 PM
i dont have kids yet, but i hope to one day. when i see out of control kids in public it fustrates me. the parents refuse to spank them because they consider it 'abuse' so they let the kids reign terror. im not trying to say the kids should be beat every time they step out of line, but once they get a taste of a spanking, even the hint at it should set them straight, i know if i did something i should, and my father gave me 'the eyes' i better stop because if i dont, im gonna get a smack. when i did get a spanking, i cried and said all the usual 'i hate you, you're the meanest parents ever' to which they replied you'll thank us when you're older. now that totally confused me at the time but i understand now. i think i am a better person for being properly disciplined as a youth. i can see where my parents were coming from not wanting us ( i have two siblings ) to misbehave in public, causing a scene, and i dont want to be the parents with the noisy annoying shit disturbing kids either. if this means i have to spank them once in a while, well, its going to happen.

a bit of a rant, im sorry for that, but just my $0.02

blondi553
08-13-2006, 08:38 PM
i dont have kids but i wont be spanking them.....i have never been hit and im fine and always have been

blondi553
08-13-2006, 08:41 PM
newbler, i saw this in ur sig just now
If u c4n r34d this u r34lly n33d 2 g37 l4id
and its not true bc i CAN read it and i get laid a LOT.......lol just wanted to comment on that cause i thought it was funny

Lysondra
08-13-2006, 08:43 PM
^ It was a l33t joke.

Anyway, if I had a child, I'd be so annoyed at it, I'd probably beat the living shit out of it.

Which is all good that I'm sterile then. :)

hot4ablackchick
08-14-2006, 01:25 PM
^ It was a l33t joke.

Anyway, if I had a child, I'd be so annoyed at it, I'd probably beat the living shit out of it.

Which is all good that I'm sterile then. :)


HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!! LOLOL!!!!! You are crazy!!!!

I absolutely cannot stand children. Which is funny because I have children. I not only like my children, I luv em to death. I can really relate to people that do not want to ever have kids although.

As for all the all the people who don't have kids but say they will not spank..........its a bit hard to say what you do when you are not in the situation. I am my kids mother and I wll NOT be treated with disrespect, hit, and have crazy ass monsters running all around not listening to me. I have respect for parents who choose not to spank. I have no anger towards my parents for hitting me. Even though the things were not things I would hit my kids over. My parents were strict. Very strict. They hit us with belts. I know they loved us and did the best they could. They had it A LOT worse growing up. Some parents try to use spanking as a last resort, that probably will not help you. There is nothing perverted about spanking. Even though I was hit as a kid I have never been aggressive or thought that hitting would solve my problems. I knew it was discipline from my parents. I always thought it was BS when people said it would teach kids to be aggressive. Would time outs teach a kid to put the other one in the corner, or steal things when people made them angry (taking things away)???? There are so many things you can do to discipline a child. I hardly ever spank them anymore.

Yekhefah
08-14-2006, 01:40 PM
My aunt and uncle have a daughter who is almost three. They have never spanked her; in fact, they don't punish her. She's the happiest, most well-behaved, delightful child I've ever met. Their approach to parenting may be unorthodox, but it's definitely working.

This girl does not ever watch TV (they don't have one), she doesn't go to day care, and her parents have adjusted their schedule so that one of them is usually with her, and when they aren't, she's with grandparents. They don't ever yell at her or get angry with her; they just expect her to behave and she does. When she gets upset or has a tantrum, they calmly put her in her room and let her cry it all out in solitude. When she's done crying, she comes out and says she's "happy now" and they tell her how nice it is to see her smiling again. This child is almost always laughing, playing, and being sweet. I have even seen her sit quietly and pay attention to a three-hour stage program.

The trick is not to punish, but rather to establish the desire for good behavior. They read a lot of and others, and I think John Rosemond's approach is spot-on. Maybe look into some of his books.