View Full Version : Silly, petty reasons you have dumped a guy
avacheetahs
10-06-2006, 11:14 PM
^ No wasn't Alan. But I just remembered my rave trash phase guy- Light Bright or something equally as cheesy and DEFINATELY WORSE than Koolaid. That just made my fucking day.
avacheetahs
10-06-2006, 11:44 PM
I think if we all put our heads together, we'd could have ourselves one big awful game of six degrees of loser separation.
Tart, you didn't happen to live in Austin Tx when you were going through your rave phase did you..... I also dated a guy nicknamed Koolaid, and he was so weird about being called that I never did find out his real name..... but hey, that only lasted like a week and a half at most before I got annoyed by him consatntly being on X and telling everyone how much he loved them, and me having to drive him around because I wasn't about to let him drive that way with me in the car. I don't think this was a petty reason.... it's not petty to not want to be with a complete idiot.
Was his real name James? I dated him9 months actually. No i didnt live there but as rave trash we traveled vastly ...from 12.5 -20 actually ...so its very possible.
haha i have a skittles. But look i have NO room to talk ..mine was
SugaKitty. yah heard me... SugaKitty hahaha
Bridgette
10-07-2006, 12:44 AM
I can't date men who
can't hold an intelligent conversation
use poor grammar (NO, "conversate" isn't a word!! it's CONVERSE -- and wtf is up with irregardless??? that just cancels itself out)
don't take care of themselves
have small dicks. NO, it doesn't matter how you wiggle it if I can't feel it. And NO, I don't have a huge pussy. It's rather small, so if your dick doesn't fill it up that means you've got a teenyweeny. Invest in a penis pump or surgery.
tell stupid jokes or otherwise have a poor sense of humour
primp more than me. Yeah, I like a guy who looks good but comeON. We're late for the movie!!!
don't like animals.
**I'll stop now because it's a long list....
I have dumped many guys because my cat didn't like them. They ALWAYS have to pass The Cat Test.
I've dumped them for not tipping the waitress or not tipping enough.
Dumped them for being broke. Yeah, money's not everything but I can't deal with a guy who can NEVER afford to do stuff ::) And I don't do the rent-a-bf. FFS.
Dumped them for calling too much. I like a guy who initiates and calls me, but....moderation is key!
For calling too late.
Not calling enough. See above. Fucking CALL a bitch sometimes ::)
Being late for dates.
Being too clingy. Also for being spineless.
NOT opening the door for me.
Dumped one for getting a bad haircut. lol
Smoking :yuck:
Having an annoying voice.
Having a cheesy smile.
Talking shit about strippers (especially when they clearly don't know wtf they're talking about ::)
Being a braggart.
Being a know-it-all.
Being too lazy.
NOT being able to just chill at home sometimes.
Using stupid, cheesy lines.
Bragging about his pussy-eating skills (because the ones who brag are NEVER any good at it ::)).
Bragging about his dick size. See above - if they have to brag so much, it's a little pinkywinky
Having a hooked dick, at a total right angle, to the side. WTF?? I couldn't even touch that one. Had to leave all of a sudden LOL!!
Yeah, I've dumped alot of guys. LOL I'd rather dump one and move on than waste time with someone who's not doing it for me.
ha ..what is it with these
capt. hook dick mother fuckers anyways?! and im way guilty of saying irregardless. I dont know where I got it from...or why i say it...
i blame Indiana
TigersMilk
10-07-2006, 02:39 AM
All the ladies with bad stories.... damn youve kissed alot of frogs! I best get to kissin' then. As many cocks as I have seen... Ive never seen a V. I hope I never see that day.
Lysondra
10-07-2006, 03:19 AM
I once had a cock so small I don't consider that I had sex with him. If he got past my inner labia I sure as hell didn't feel it.
Bridgette
10-07-2006, 03:35 AM
If it's that small, why bother? Seems like a huge waste of time to me. I just walk away when he's got the teenyweeny :P
twisterinAZ
10-07-2006, 04:35 AM
Hey Tart...I'VE seen the V and it is disturbing....
I generally don't need a reason, I will just decide to be over it, but there was this one guy that comes to mind who didn't seem very bright and he came over to my houe one day and I found him staring at the bookcase looking totally puzzled ....like, "What are those?" They are books bouncerboy and they are filled with words and information!!!...and come to think of it, I never saw one book or magazine at his place either. Not the sharpest tool in the shed...but definitely a tool.
Bridgette
10-07-2006, 04:46 AM
^^LMFAO!! I can see it now...... Woooooooowwwww. booooooooooookkkkssssssss. I never saw one for real before......dribble
Corina
10-07-2006, 09:48 AM
^ ^ ^ ^
Capt. Hook Dick Mother Fuckers!! Oh no!! :laughing: :laughing: :banghead: :headache:
This entire thread is the funniest, laugh out loud, I had read in a long time.
"V-dicks"?? Can't say I've ever seen one, but now I'm sort of curious :smellie_l
avacheetahs
10-07-2006, 11:28 AM
I kept looking on the internet for an example of the "v dick" but no luck. However I did see lots of nasty looking abnormalities and I'm pretty much grossed by penises in general now.
PorschaM
10-07-2006, 11:38 AM
Or a guy I dated in high school offered to "trade" me to his best friend. I guess he wanted to break up with me and decided the best way to do that was to offer his best friend as my new boyfriend?? It was like he was breaking a contract that we had or something and he was offering me fair market value in lieu of breach of contract?? How he got his friend to go along with it, I have no idea.
That is probably the funniest thing I've read! I guess his friend liked you too but that is hilarious!
I have also dumped more than one guy for having a weird smell. The first one was in high school... I was thrilled to be with this guy at the time because all through high school I had been one of the ugly nerdy kids, and this guy was one of the cool jocks. But - I ditched him after a couple of months because he smelled like soap..
This one takes the cake though - basically you dumped someone because they smelled CLEAN!! LOL
PM
BrunetteGoddess
10-07-2006, 12:19 PM
He was a horrible kisser and was so small it wouldn't stay in.... :O
BrunetteGoddess
10-07-2006, 12:22 PM
Oh. Boredom was a big one in high school.
BrunetteGoddess
10-07-2006, 12:38 PM
I once had a cock so small I don't consider that I had sex with him. If he got past my inner labia I sure as hell didn't feel it.
That best describes the small weenus guy I was with.
Lyssa Lynn
10-07-2006, 05:24 PM
I dumped a boyfriend because of how he ate his cereal. Seriously, every morning was like nails on a chalk board. First of all, he held his spoon with an overhand grip.. WTF?! Plus, every single bite was slurped...uggh! Had to dump him.
avacheetahs
10-07-2006, 05:39 PM
^ That reminds me (it's the same hardened mac & cheese guy) He may not have had a job, but you can be damn sure he was up every morning leisurely reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. Nothing, and I mean nothing, got accomplished until he performed this ritual. It was actually my disgust and resentment at this person that led me to quit drinking coffee on a regular basis.
Oh God I'm getting so angry!!! And it's been over 2 years!!
Lysondra
10-07-2006, 05:40 PM
My ex husband ate everything overhanded. It's SO horrible to me. I hated it and kept trying to correct him. It's when he ate sushi with a fork that I nearly died. And of course he ate it overhand. That just SCREAMS 'I was raised in a barn' to me. I actually check a guy's eating habits first date now. The way they eat says a lot.
lolagetz
10-07-2006, 07:03 PM
The way they eat says a lot.
I had one boyfriend who ate so little that I could never eat around him without feeling like a pig. He would eat a can of spaghetti-o's and drink a sunkist, and that would be all he would eat the whole day. Whenever I would mention I was hungry, he would say, "Why??? We ate like 7 hours ago." Lol. I got so irritable around him because I was huunnngry, so we had fights and shit. Lol, damn anorexic boyfriend. ::)
BrainyDancerGirl
10-07-2006, 09:32 PM
1. Met a guy over the internet...had a really nice handsome picture. Clean cut well dressed Claimed he was about 5'9 to 5'10" (which is definitely fine since i'm 5'5"and then 5'7" or 5'8" in heels). Met him in person, was more like 5'6", and looked like an utter and complete geek. Enjoyed the dinner and never bothered to respond to his calls.
2. Met another guy over the 'net (sounds like we have a trend here huh?). Said he was an attorney (this was true). Looked really handsome and clean cut in his picture as well. Also turns out to be a geek...but not just ANY geek. A geek with a TWITCH, whereby his left eye would blink uncontrollably and his head would subsequently then jerk back. Needless to say, we didn't go out again. Since he was a nice guy, I at least let him down with the "you're not my type" line.
3. (Oh and this one is a doozy)...yet another internet freak (you'd think I'd stop this internet bullshit by now wouldn't you?)...He claims that he is a fit doctor in his 40s (even though I'm 24, I have a tendency to date men in the 30 to 45 range). He didn't send a picture but positively "assured" me that he was frequently told that he was handsome. We decide to meet for brunch at a popular spot off Union Square. I'm dressed my absolute sexiest...cute black print tank top with sexy jeans and strappy little heels. Then, quite to my surprise a guy who I didn't think could have possibly been him walks up to me, "Hi So and So...it's so great to meet you! You look so beautiful!" OMG...dude was FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT!!!!!! As in "I don't have a neck but a gobbler" FAT! I was completely HORRIFIED. I should have left, but, me being little Miss Polite Southerner (you can imagine that shit went out the window after living in New York for a year...haha) stayed for the brunch. The ENTIRE time I kept thinking "OH MY GOD! Everyone has to think I'm an escort for being with this guy!!!" (No offense to escorts...but GODDAMN how can you be SEEN with some of those guys???)
4. And of course, there are a number of little-dicked men who have never heard from me again. You don't have to be huge, but there needs to be some decent size and girth. Otherwise, you and all your "motion in the ocean" ain't doing jack shit for me.
That's all folks :D
AkashaM
10-08-2006, 12:12 AM
1. A guy told me (after sex) that he stuck a paintball barrel up his butt. He wanted to see what it was like to have something in his anus.
2. One guy had one testicle significantly larger than the other. We were kissing & petting and I felt it. I sent him home 10 mins later.
3. I dumped my boyfriend in high school for the guy I'm still with now. Plus he wouldnt have sex with me.
4. Because he couldnt dance.
mermaidnz
10-08-2006, 12:45 AM
rofl. a guy i went out with had such a smal penis i refused to let him fuck me , instead i made him stick it up my ass...i was smashed drunk, and fell asleep afterwards, the next mornign there was a note saying not to call him but he had to go.
i rung him anyways (curiousity) and he told me he didnt have any money. i was like wtf? and he thought i was a hooker cos i let him take me up the ass....lmfao i had to tall him the truth, no honey, im not a hooker, its just that your cocks was so damn small i wanted to make it at leats worht while for the both of us. :)
candygrrl
10-08-2006, 07:03 AM
I broke up with a guy because his stride was too short. When he walked his bottom half was very straight and his stride was like 2 feet so his legs would be constantly moving so fast, whereas i could take one long step to 3 or 4 of his. It was really fucking weird.
Ive also had a weird smelling dude, he smelled like breath. Not bad breath but just him in general smelled like inside someones mouth. weiiiiiiiiird
There have definitely been a lot more but I dont feel like thinking about them right now
Paintbaby
10-08-2006, 10:04 AM
One of my ex's had a smelly, uncut cock and he did not know the basics of hygeine. I went down on him once, and had to stifle a gag reflex, he smelled so vile. I made him put his pants on and told him to leave, and not call me again. I could gag right now, just thinking about the green cloud that rose from his crotch when I took his underwear off. Never again. Basically, bad smells equal never seeing me naked again.
^^ I had a friend that had that with her bf for YEARS girl. She would put his stanky ass in the shower and make it all ' erotic' to wash his wang off. But she said after 3 years and having to basically make a day out of sex she just gave up. Said his breath was twice as bad as well.
blondhottie
10-09-2006, 02:01 AM
I also once finished with a guy because he couldn't spell and had no idea how to construct a grammatically correct sentence. I'd get creeped out reading his text messages because they were so retarded.
LOL! That bugs the shit out of me too. There was this one guy-actually, I didn't date him but I had a one night stand with him. We didn't use a condom and he came inside me (yes, I know that was stupid.) He was worried that he might've gotten me pregnant. This is a text message he left me, word for word:
"Do of a favor and get the morning after pill line of sacred."
I was like, "Huh?" :O What I got out of it was that he thought I should go get the morning after pill.
Things I have dumped guys for include leaving open soda cans right next to the computer keyboard (I'm paranoid that they're gonna spill and fuck up my computer), being too clingy, buying too much dumb shit on eBay that they didn't need, and not cleaning their car good enough. One guy I dated had so many empty soda cans and food wrappers on the floor of his car that I could barely move my legs around. Sometimes I'd help him clean it, but then it would just be a pigsty again 2 days later. ::)
Bridgette
10-09-2006, 02:41 AM
rofl. a guy i went out with had such a smal penis i refused to let him fuck me , instead i made him stick it up my ass...i was smashed drunk, and fell asleep afterwards, the next mornign there was a note saying not to call him but he had to go.
i rung him anyways (curiousity) and he told me he didnt have any money. i was like wtf? and he thought i was a hooker cos i let him take me up the ass....lmfao i had to tall him the truth, no honey, im not a hooker, its just that your cocks was so damn small i wanted to make it at leats worht while for the both of us. :)LMFAO!!! That story is too funny.
That is quite possibly a BIGGER ego blow than my walking away refusing to see/talk to Capt PinkyWinky. lol
Why is it so "wrong" for guys to do penis enlargements but it's totally cool for us to do all kinds of stuff to be more attractive to them?
MishaBliss
10-09-2006, 02:50 AM
For being stupider than me.
Yeah, you can't stay with the dumb ones. I did once and it was BAD. He knew he wasn't that sharp, and it made him angry. I also can't handle guys with lower earning potential...they've always turned out badly too.
Lucky i found my husband :D
avacheetahs
10-09-2006, 05:58 AM
Ok this is definately TMI and will probably gross yall out so proceed w/ caution.
Alright i was in the barracks and to me that = hot military sex, where i've never done it- this guy was- hot well hung bodybuilder type (which was part of the reason I dumped him- at least that's the story I gave everyone "overly narcissitic) etc- dude [what is it with my obsession w/ parenthesis anyway -OK.-])
I was with him in the barracks and I decided I wanted to finger him and he was cool with it. I thought, "Yes! Finally I have a hot guy I can make my bitch!" So I proceed with the fingering thing and I dunno but I thought I felt something. I was revolted beyond belief. I jumped up and immediately went to the bathroom. I didn't come out for like forever. I was so grossed out. I mean isn't that a cardinal rule in anal play- like you don't play if -- fuck I can't even say it. I would die. I wanted to die for him. He kind of ended up as a stalker b/c things were going good up to that point and i ended it so abruptly.. is this cruel? Maybe someone on here could deal, but i'm not one of those. I don't do s- can't even type the word. I've never told anyone this.
I want to keep this thread going though so I thought i would give yall something from the secret secret stash.
Oh yeah more on bodybuilders. If you ever want t fuck with their heads, all you have to do is walk up to them and ask in a serious tone, "Baby, are you losing weight? you're looking smaller." Guaranteed if they are the OCD roid rage type, (or supplement obsessed) they will immediately go to a mirror or a scale and start obsessing. Cruel I know. I recommend you try this when you are going to dump him otherwise it will be a constant affirmation-fest on your part.
Damn, I've been with a lot of fucked up guys. Not to make this any longer than necessary, though I'm in one of those moods- I was thinking maybe my dating guys more screwed up than me makes me feel more normal. Nah, they all seem semi-ok at first. But I'm 25 w/ one cat and holding, no more cats till I at least snag a bf. OK I'm not carrie bradshaw- no insight here. You'll be lucky if I don't edit this.
Daniela
10-09-2006, 10:37 AM
1.
I went on a second date with this guy, he was very refined looking. Ya know, expensive suit, patek watch, initials embroidered on his french cuffs. Anyway, I thought he was mister perfect and felt he was out of my league, until he fell on his ass on the street. I wasn’t turned off because he busted his ass, but how he was seriously mortified about it and wouldn’t let it go for the rest of the night. I thought, sheesh, I fall all the time and laugh at myself, this dude takes himself too seriously.
2.
I was seeing a psychiatrist, as a patient, for my panic attacks, he was good looking, but not attractive enough to date. I would talk to him like I was talking to a regular guy friend. He even started to tell me his problems. So I told him that I was having fantasies about fucking a guy in the ass with a strap on, and no one I know will let me do it. He admitted he had the same fantasies, so that weekend I reamed him up the ass (without him doing anything to me, he was submissive). I did it because I was curious about the experience, it was awesome. He wouldn’t stop calling me after that, wanting to go to dinner and shopping…so I dropped him as my doctor…
Picaresque
10-09-2006, 11:33 AM
i dumped a guy for wearing cologne and hair gel all the time.
i hate, hate, HATE guys that smell like cologne, body spray, strong soap or any sort of chemical smell--it seriously makes me want to vomit. I just like guys to have a natural human scent, and natural hair that's not all mucked up and stiff. Just take a shower occasionally and brush your hair, and leave it at that!
This guy was also ten years older than me, extremely negative and had a defeatist attitude about everything, politically conservative, anti-social and posessive of me, and lived two hours away. But in the end, the cologne was what really pushed me over the edge.
Andygirl
10-09-2006, 01:59 PM
2.
I was seeing a psychiatrist, as a patient, for my panic attacks, he was good looking, but not attractive enough to date. I would talk to him like I was talking to a regular guy friend. He even started to tell me his problems. So I told him that I was having fantasies about fucking a guy in the ass with a strap on, and no one I know will let me do it. He admitted he had the same fantasies, so that weekend I reamed him up the ass (without him doing anything to me, he was submissive). I did it because I was curious about the experience, it was awesome. He wouldn’t stop calling me after that, wanting to go to dinner and shopping…so I dropped him as my doctor…
:O
Wow, that sounds like something out of Nip/Tuck. lol.
$$$magnet
10-09-2006, 02:44 PM
I've dumped more than a few for not wearing the right type of jeans.
I was also with a guy who my friends thought gay because he was a flight attendant. Probably was....
The one and only Raven
10-09-2006, 09:32 PM
3. (Oh and this one is a doozy)...yet another internet freak (you'd think I'd stop this internet bullshit by now wouldn't you?)...He claims that he is a fit doctor in his 40s (even though I'm 24, I have a tendency to date men in the 30 to 45 range). He didn't send a picture but positively "assured" me that he was frequently told that he was handsome. We decide to meet for brunch at a popular spot off Union Square. I'm dressed my absolute sexiest...cute black print tank top with sexy jeans and strappy little heels. Then, quite to my surprise a guy who I didn't think could have possibly been him walks up to me, "Hi So and So...it's so great to meet you! You look so beautiful!" OMG...dude was FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT!!!!!! As in "I don't have a neck but a gobbler" FAT! I was completely HORRIFIED. I should have left, but, me being little Miss Polite Southerner (you can imagine that shit went out the window after living in New York for a year...haha) stayed for the brunch. The ENTIRE time I kept thinking "OH MY GOD! Everyone has to think I'm an escort for being with this guy!!!" (No offense to escorts...but GODDAMN how can you be SEEN with some of those guys???)
Damn typos.... I guess he meant to write FAT doctor, not FIT.... Happened to me once, too. I saw him and just about fainted. HUGE!!!
Krystal
Nautilus
10-11-2006, 10:30 PM
this whole thread is hilarious!
ultimate gold in my book is the vampire dress-up princess 'surprise' date and the ass-fucking hooker (mermaid). LMFAO!
my list of petty dumps:
1) my cute neighbor who i was boning until i discovered he had a CLEAR RETAINER on his bottom teeth, which is why certain sounds whistled when he spoke. he was hung, so it was quite a big loss in that regard...
2) another dumping was a clown who backflipped once (a real fucking backflip from standing) - i thought it was pretty tricky, gymnastically-speaking ... until he started doing it...at parties.... at my friend's houses.... aaargh. not cool!! die, stunt boy. die!!
other dumpings have been for valid reasons.... small weenus, smothering, manipulating friends, cheating etc... haven't had a stinky weenus near me for at least a decade. what luck!
I forgot one. idated a football player a few years back..like 5 I think. Anyways we were at dinner and we had dated 3 months and i said to him
Me " todd I have no idea what your last name is "
todd: " uh yah so I dont think thats important.:
me : " sure it is dude..so what is it.:
20 minutes later.
todd: " its .... its ........... dinkle "
me: " blink ...blink... dinkle huh"
I dumped him. I cant date a dinkle
AlexxaHex
10-12-2006, 01:56 AM
This thread is so goddamn funny!!
;D
I dumped a guy because he cried WAY TOO MUCH. I love a guy who is sensitive and can cry, but every day? Come on, dude. Even I don't cry nearly that much. And when I did dump him, he tried slitting his wrists with his car keys in the parking lot of a Denny's. His penis was small. I felt bad taking his virginity because I had a boyfriend at the time and figured it would just be casual sex, but he fell in love with me in like, two days. His mother was really horrible too. She was this blonde haired, blue eyed lady who thought she was black and only dated black guys. She totally hated me and called me "Little Woman". I wanted to strangle that bitch.
I dumped a rockstar guy because he wouldn't get me backstage passes to his concert. He completely ignored my text messages until a week later and then asked "wanna hang out?". Fuck no! If you can't give me what I want, why should I give you any pussy? He STILL text messages me. I finally told him I have a boyfriend and that (hopefully) got rid of him.
I dumped a guy because he told me I could fuck other people, and then got upset because I fucked someone else. Don't tell me I can if you can't handle it!
And the ultimate modern break up ---- BECAUSE OF MYSPACE. I couldn't deal with him leaving comments to other girls about how hot their asses were, and then totally disregarding my feelings when I told him to stop. He also left his relationship status as "swinger" and claimed it was because he wanted to retain his sexy image for his BAND.
Oh wait wait... because of myspace?
girl! Do i have some stories due to that fuking site!
How about this fucktard who told me we were dating..that he loved me and was eating out and fucking any hardcore girl within close living to his apt here in chicago. i busted him due to myspace and the girl he fucked the NIGHT before coming over and telling me he loved me for the first time. She had a photo of themkissing and left it as a comment. that stupid ass didnt even remove it and cried like a little bitch whenI busted him out
xbloodydewdropx
10-12-2006, 04:10 PM
This thread is so goddamn funny!!
And when I did dump him, he tried slitting his wrists with his car keys in the parking lot of a Denny's.
OMGGGGG I know that the poor guy must have felt sad and stuff, but the image this conjures up is just too funny. Imagine being a Denny's manager and having to consider calling that into the police....
"911...what's your emergency?"
"Hi, I'm the manager at Denny's on XXX street, and we have a possible emergency. a customer is crying, has locked himself in his car, and is trying to slit his wrists with his car keys."
That would make a great OnStar commercial.
^^ or one that leads into a commerical for Lithium
scarlett_vancouver
10-12-2006, 04:23 PM
When I was a teenager, after I broke up with a guy I'd been dating a month, he tried to hang himself with a guitar string (somehow...). Then he ended up in the psycho ward. How dramatic!
I broke up with him because his teeth were too yellow, and because his mum walked in on us doin' it...and wasn't perturbed. She was just like 'sorry guys!'. It was weird- we were 16.
xbloodydewdropx
10-12-2006, 04:24 PM
^^ or one that leads into a commerical for Lithium
lol...even better. i bet, in such a dramatization, they could get the guy to wear eyeliner and mascara too, so his face would be streaked with black to magnify the power of the tears. :'( }:D
Corina
10-12-2006, 06:09 PM
I forgot one. idated a football player a few years back..like 5 I think. Anyways we were at dinner and we had dated 3 months and i said to him
Me " todd I have no idea what your last name is "
todd: " uh yah so I dont think thats important.:
me : " sure it is dude..so what is it.:
20 minutes later.
todd: " its .... its ........... dinkle "
me: " blink ...blink... dinkle huh"
I dumped him. I cant date a dinkle
Tart
You totally win my award for the funniest and most preposterous(sp)? :D
"Dinkles and Captain Hook Motherfuckers". Girl, you kill me. :rotfl: :slaphappy
ha, I got some koolaid too ...
Man what a reality show that would be.
Capt Hook
Seven up ( which is the nickname for the guy with the penis that was bent downwards and farted while I gave him head.)
Dinkle
And Koolaid.
lol...even better. i bet, in such a dramatization, they could get the guy to wear eyeliner and mascara too, so his face would be streaked with black to magnify the power of the tears. :'( }:D
wahahahah the power of tears...
the background song would be some Celine Dion im sure...and instead of a puppy running up into his arms it would slowly limp by and the guy would turn to the camera ...mascara running going
" why me... why .. Is there help for this "
and then the intro voice would start up ...
" now there is. With the power of Lithium "