View Full Version : I'm 23 and want my tubes tied. How do I make it happen?
ViolaStrings
11-02-2006, 01:27 PM
I did read it all but thank you for assuming I didn't.
You still haven't responded to my rebuttal in reference to your post about the cons of sterilization as opposed to other forms of birth control such as the pill.
I know you recently mentioned that sterilization has the same failure rate as the pill. While theoretically correct the statement is flawed and here is why.
Birth control effectiveness statistics are based on the constant correct usage of the birth control type. There in lies the issue. You can forget to take your pill or put a condom on wrong. Tubal ligation removes that issue entirely hence it is a more secure and effective form of preventing pregnancy.
Read:
"Tubal ligation DOES have a failure rate. Women CAN get pregnant afterwards. The failure rate for any birth control approved by the FDA is slim, similar to sterilization." I never said the same.
Sirona
11-02-2006, 02:05 PM
Read:
"Tubal ligation DOES have a failure rate. Women CAN get pregnant afterwards. The failure rate for any birth control approved by the FDA is slim, similar to sterilization." I never said the same.
*smacks forehead*
Never ANYWHERE did I say a tubal was 100%. I said it's a far more effective reliable way to prevent pregnancy and if someone didn't want children it was the most effective, most cost effective way to go about it.
You kow what? I give up. You profess to be open minded but you aren't. You wanna hear what you wanna hear and that's that. You STILL haven't answered the questions I asked you and have in fact avoiding doing so.
fancygirl
11-02-2006, 03:35 PM
I'm not worried about VS. I wrote probably about two pages solid of this thread responding to her posts, and she responded like she never read any of it. She's a moron. I've moved on.
Two points: a TL has a failure rate of about 1% amongst women, but then there was another statistic that said women over a ten year period had a 2% chance.
The one thing that this post has been really useful about has been learning more about essure from women who are on it (who've posted on the thread, or PM'd me directly.)
Essure has a 99.8% success rate. Depo has a 99.7% succes rate. Implanon is 99.9% effective.
I had been thinking about going on Implanon because I thought no doctor would approve me. As I said before, I now have a long list of doctors to go through who will take me with my state funding card, but I also have a list who almost assuredly will take me because they do not believe in refusing a woman who has a rational list of objections to ever having kids; they just don't take the state funding card. But they do get excellent reviews from my R.N. so I am comforted that it's not just a money making scheme. I am excited not to have to be on birth control anymore and I'm curious about what my body will feel like after five years. I wonder what "natural" will feel like.
It will take me a couple months to wade through the things that I have to do, but mainly because I have school and work and other things to focus on (especially with Christmas coming up,) it will probably take me until January to really run a doctor to ground.
I do want to point out, however, what I object to in biological urges. I never said that I wouldn't get them. I probably will. What I find ironic is that I am not being held hostage by the biological urge at the moment, and so (one would think) can think more clearly on the topic in terms of if it is right for me. Once biology dips a hand in, all bets are out the window about whether or not rationality and baby-making will share the same parts of the brain.
Did you ever stop to think that we're always told as teenagers that "it's just hormones" or that we have to learn a little self-control over our hormones, yet if you're thirty-- it's just fine to let your hormones run away with you?
I'm not bashing anyone who currently wants kids, but you know there's women out there who never wanted kids, and suddenly get a biological imperative to breed when it will very likely screw up their lives? Yet, everyone tries to say that that little bundle of joy makes it all worth it. Maybe. Hey, maybe in most cases. But as an earlier poster said, babies are forever.
In making this decision now, I'm actually happy that if and when I get the biological urge, that I will NOT be able to have a child. That way I will know, if, jumping through the hurdles to adopt or to foster, it was something that I really wanted. And if I don't think it's worth it to go through all of that, then guess what? I must not have wanted children that badly. I can rest assured that I didn't really want kids in the first place AND I beat my biological dictator by taking away my ability to have biological kids the natural way.
What I don't get is how everyone practically jumps to the defense of biological impulses when in every other facet of our lives we try to tamp down similar biological impulses so we can live rationally rather than like animals in heat.
NinaDaisy
11-04-2006, 09:59 PM
I don't want to close this thread and I won't right now.
To the OP: this board is great for advice and divergent opinions, but it won't replace going to a doctor (or three) and getting advice from a medical professional. Especially about something as important as this.
To others: feel free to share opinions. Things often get misinterpreted online, but to my knowledge no one here (myself included) is a medical professional. Disagreements will happen.
Hopefully the OP has gotten enough info to at least ask more questions about alternate methods until she is old enough to get her tubes tied.
Please try to be respectful of each other.
StrayStripper
01-08-2007, 11:00 PM
If you don't mind the travel, a clinic in Raleigh, NC will give you a no-hassle tubal for $1260.
There is another sterilization method. I can't offer any info about doctors who would perform this procedure on you. They tend to think that you will change your mind and want you Very Own Baby from Your Very Own Womb.
I know ViolaStrings means well. IUDs are less complicated. I hear raves about Mirena even from the women who can not tolerate hormones. Copper IUDs on the other hand give you cramps and heavier periods.
I've returned to this thread because I feel the need to say something. I am Scout and have lost my password and accompanying email address. I posted the things in quotes.
I am in my 30s, never considered having children. I hated baby dolls and resent the societal pressure to be a wife and mother. I don't believe there is a biological urge to have children. I have an urge to fuck, most definitely, but like hell, I'd ever want to be pregnant.
I was planning on being sterilized this year and chickened out. I don't want my future self to hate me. I wouldn't get a tatoo in fear of regretting it in 10 years, yet I was willing to spay myself?
For now, I'm opting for an IUD. I don't want to limit my choices if I don't have to. All I know is that I will not bear children for now. If ever. The jury will deliberate on that issue until I hit menopause.
fancygirl
01-09-2007, 12:08 AM
wow, you know you've been on stripperweb awhile when an old thread of yours pops up and you think-- damn, that thing again?
power to you sister--
I plan on getting sterilized this summer. As I said before, why allow hormones to get in the way of rational thinking and planning? If I can control my hormones when it comes to sex, then I'm not going to let my body dictate babymaking.
And if someone gets fixed, and then decides they just HAVE to have a kid-- then more rational planning including such questions as affordability and life changes will come into play.
I don't envy you the several years you have in front of you. On the one hand, part of me hopes you're the girl that changes her mind, because otherwise? What was the point except to keep an option open? (Yes, keeping options open are worthwhile...I guess it just depends on how much Scout/Stray Stripper doesn't want to have a kid most days.)
flickad
01-09-2007, 04:01 AM
If you can't get your tubes tied, IUD might be a good alternative to Depo in terms of both the lack of distressing side-effects and non-fiddliness.
jasmine
01-09-2007, 01:38 PM
I would like to say this thread got totally out of control. I gave well-meaning advice on the copper IUD (which many sites including the FDA had as .6-.8 failure while tubal ligation was .5) because I realized FG wanted her tubes tied, but was having a difficult time with getting it done.
I was trying to offer a viable if not ideal solution until she could get her tubes tied. After reading this entire post I cannot agree with VS, but I don't think she was trying to be offensive at first. I'm sure many others felt attacked for their suggestions even though they were trying to be helpful. I do realize there were many condescending things said about changing your mind, & I can't agree with these (I believe it is your right to decide what the likelyhood of that would be).
I would just like to point out that while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, the entire tone of the early pro-ligation posts was very confrontational. It made me feel like defending myself for having the IUD & for having children, when I completely support your decision to have your ligation and not have children. I'm sure others felt this way as well.
Good luck with the search. I've heard that if you are willing to sign legal documents waiving your right to sue that it is much easier to get it done. Maybe you could suggest this to your Gyno.
Jasmine
StrayStripper
01-10-2007, 02:48 AM
wow, you know you've been on stripperweb awhile when an old thread of yours pops up and you think-- damn, that thing again?
power to you sister--
I plan on getting sterilized this summer. As I said before, why allow hormones to get in the way of rational thinking and planning? If I can control my hormones when it comes to sex, then I'm not going to let my body dictate babymaking.
And if someone gets fixed, and then decides they just HAVE to have a kid-- then more rational planning including such questions as affordability and life changes will come into play.
I don't envy you the several years you have in front of you. On the one hand, part of me hopes you're the girl that changes her mind, because otherwise? What was the point except to keep an option open? (Yes, keeping options open are worthwhile...I guess it just depends on how much Scout/Stray Stripper doesn't want to have a kid most days.)
I really don't want a kid. One of the reasons I changed my mind (for now) is the stigma attached to a woman unable to have children. They are like pariahs, and for me to CHOOSE not to be pregnant EVER and making damn sure of that is like telling people to call me an old maid, barren, spayed, fixed, and all the other words I find offensive pertaining to this subject.
I don't think I'm strong enough to put up with that crap. I want to be left alone. It was a chore to find someone to insert an IUD. The men I date are okay that I don't want to bear children, but as soon as I bring up snipping tubes, oh hell no, they couldn't be with a woman like that. Is society not FUCKED UP?
fancygirl
01-10-2007, 02:57 PM
^ wow. must be a regional thing. Over here on the west coast it's not abnormal at all. I mean, there's women who want kids, and then there are those that don't. I know a couple guys with vasectomies already, and...wow, the situation you're describing is absolutely alien to me.
sorry you're surrounded by that sort of attitude.
For those that wouldn't be okay with it, I wouldn't be telling them until after, if ever. It's simply none of their business. If I don't plan on having kids anyways then the end result is the same. Plus-- there's already grandbabies in the family so luckily I don't feel that pressure.
kenzi_20
01-10-2007, 03:36 PM
just dont ever abort a baby! read this...
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Week 2 Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Week 3 You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Week 4 Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Week 5 You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby yet but I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion mean? Week 6 I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! help me Mommy!! HELP ME!! No . . . Week 7 Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. One more Bundle of Happiness Destroyed.
this made me cry, babies dont even have a chance when people get abortions,if the baby was going to live a bad life from medical problems then mabe its not as bad to abort when its very early in the stage,but at least give a healthy baby up for adoption instead of resorting to this.
ViolaStrings
01-10-2007, 04:02 PM
just dont ever abort a baby! read this...
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Week 2 Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Week 3 You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Week 4 Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Week 5 You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby yet but I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion mean? Week 6 I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! help me Mommy!! HELP ME!! No . . . Week 7 Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. One more Bundle of Happiness Destroyed.
this made me cry, babies dont even have a chance when people get abortions,if the baby was going to live a bad life from medical problems then mabe its not as bad to abort when its very early in the stage,but at least give a healthy baby up for adoption instead of resorting to this.
I think you may be a little confused about the nature of this thread.
Sirona
01-10-2007, 07:28 PM
just dont ever abort a baby! read this...
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Week 2 Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Week 3 You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Week 4 Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Week 5 You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby yet but I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion mean? Week 6 I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! help me Mommy!! HELP ME!! No . . . Week 7 Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. One more Bundle of Happiness Destroyed.
this made me cry, babies dont even have a chance when people get abortions,if the baby was going to live a bad life from medical problems then mabe its not as bad to abort when its very early in the stage,but at least give a healthy baby up for adoption instead of resorting to this.
Oh for crying out loud....
ViolaStrings
01-11-2007, 12:37 AM
Oh for crying out loud....
Agreed. I threw up in my mouth a little.