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Twin Tattoo
10-30-2006, 03:23 PM
A feature dancer has asked me to be her roadie. She is just about to start up her tour and knew I was looking for a change in my life. However, I have never done it before though. I would appreciate the thoughts of people here. Such as: Should I even do it? What can I expect? Do's and don't's. She just dropped me an email so we haven't talked about pay but what should I expect? What's the norm?

FYI, I'm 6'3", 230 lbs, fit, single, no childs, and 42 years old.

FBR
10-30-2006, 05:15 PM
Hi TT..welcome :)

Youre younger than me but not a kid. I cant see it as a long term thing but it could be fun as a way to get the hell out of dodge for a while. But I would be concerned if there would be enough money left over after her "expenses" for you to make a decent buck. I'm assuming you would be working on a percentage of her earning similar to a golf caddie as opposed to a straight salary. If other perks come along, you would need to decide how those play in.

Good luck.

FBR

Katrine
10-30-2006, 08:00 PM
Ugh, definately not YOU! I'd feel bad for the lady.....

Twin Tattoo
10-30-2006, 09:17 PM
Thanks for the welcome, FBR. ;D

As for being a roadie, yeah, it is something that I view as just a nice change for a bit. Not a career.

I sent her an email that I was tentatively interested but needed to know more about what the job would entail. She's now replied back with the following.

+ She tours five months on and takes one month off. Her months off are June and December. She would swing by here to pick me up and we will do November together. If, after that month, we find that we get along and I'm still interested, she wants me to sign a five-month contract for her Jan-May tour. We would take it one tour at a time. She's not asking for any further out commitment than that. During her month off, she doesn't schedule the next tour but the one following it.

+ She tours in a motorhome with a trailer that has a matching paint job. The motorhome is a nice one. A Bluebird (http://www.blue-bird.com/products/coach/motorhome/) . She sent me photographs. The front half of the trailer is a walk-in closet for her costumes and the back half is a garage for a tiny two-seat compact car. I wonder if my 6'3" frame can fit into it. When we arrive at a city, we park the motorhome and trailer at a campsite, I set up camp, and then I drive her to a grocery store for her to do the shopping. I will do all driving, setting up camp, breaking down camp, flushing of the septic tank, and am the one that takes the vehicles in for repair and oil changes.

+ The Bluebird has a master bedroom in back and the dining area converts into a king-size bed. I will sleep in the dining area.

+ She loves to cook and will thus do all the cooking, except for grilling. She wants me to do the grilling. That's great as I'm not a good cook (unless you want to eat Ramen noodles all the time) but am a decent griller. However, I have quite a few food allergies (one severe) so that might kill the deal.

+ She likes regular campfires and I'm to buy the wood and get the fires going. That's no problem as I enjoy them too.

+ She and only she does the laundry of her clothes. She will also do mine at the same time if I would like her to.

+ For when I'm in the clubs, I am to wear "smart casual" and she will select and buy me a small wardrobe of it. The clothes are mine to keep.

+ We will pack two meals-for-two at the campground, keep them in the car, and eat those at the appropriate times at the club.

+ I am to dust mop the stage before and after her performances. During her performance, I am to catch all the parts of her costume she will throw to me and I'm to "smile like an idiot" when she does. After her performance, I sweep again and in the process collect all the dollar bills. I'm to then count and safeguard the dough.

+ During her performance, I am to keep on eye on the audience and try to identify those that show interest in her. After she comes back out from redoing her make-up and changing into her floor attire, I'm to point out to her which patrons to first hustle. I get a commission off of each one I get right. She says I will quickly get the "eye" for who will buy LDs.

+ I am to be the money collector and photographer for her polariods with patrons. She also sells the thong panties she wears on stage. She will hand those over to the patrons herself and I'm to just collect the money.

+ While she works the floor, I am to keep an indirect eye on her via the bar mirror. If a patron gets too friendly and she gives me the signal, I am to stand up and directly look at them and hopefully that will calm him down. If not, I'm to signal the bouncers and let them "earn their pay". When she goes to the VIP room, I'm to watch the security monitor and alert the bouncers if she ever gives the signal.

+ If a fight ever breaks out, I am not to participate in it at all except in self-defense and in defense of her. My job at those times is to rush in and get her out safely. Let the bouncers deal with the fight and not me. If all Hell breaks loose, we head out to the car and wait it out. At those times, I'm to keep the car running. If the fight spills outside, we circle the block until it is safe to return.

+ When the night is over, I am to go out to the car and warm up the engine and interior. Once the interior is nice and toasty, I'm to then drive the car around to the door where the bouncer is, honk, and she will come out, get in, and we're to head to the campground.

+ She would like me to give her a sports massage after work and in the morning. It isn't a deal killer if I don't want to or cannot give a good one. It is just something that she would like if I can provide. She will train me and give me one in the morning after hers. I have good strong hands and long fingers so I think I'll do fine with the massages.

+ I am never to drink alcohol at the club or do drugs while touring with her. I do and I'm gone. She caught her last roadie snorting coke with a dancer in the dressing room and she canned him on the spot. Since I don't drink at all and have never done drugs, this isn't an issue with me. She says clubs give roadies their drinks free so I can "drink as much soda as my bladder and teeth can stand." If the club doesn't give free drinks, she will cover the tab.

+ She is a big movie buff and wants to go to early matinees. I am to drive her to the theater and can come in and she'll pay for both of our tickets and snacks. If we go to a multi-plex, I don't have to even see the same movie as she does if I don't want to.

+ When traveling from one club to the next, she always plans for a little bit of sightseeing along the way. She plans this when setting up her tours. This enable her to enjoy life and keeps her from burning out. When not sightseeing, she sleeps in back as I drive along. She loves to sleep. She doesn't want me to speed and the smoother I can drive, the better. Her Bluebird comes with Tom-Tom (http://www.tomtom.com/) so I'll never get lost.

+ If she ever strikes up a relationship with some guy or gal, she will either go to their place or they'll get a hotel room. She never has dates come to her motorhome and neither am I to have mine come there. After dropping her off at the motorhome and making sure she's safe inside, I can take off for any date I have and can use the car to do so.

+ She has a small employer health plan and I will be covered by it. She say it is a good one as she "pays a Hell of a lot for it!"

+ She is trying to make her tours smoke-free as much as possible. Someone close to her died recently of lung cancer and she doesn't want the same fate. She says more and more cities are forcing stripclubs to be smoke-free, she likes that, and she is trying to make them part of her tours. She says if I smoke, I'm to do it outside the motorhome and car. Since I don't smoke, this is another non-issue.

She says she has tried touring alone (as she is right now) and hates it. It is too lonely and burdensome. It is also great to have someone helping you at the club and watching your back there. That a good roadie is worth the cost.

Now when I read the above, the word that comes to my mind is "butler". A personal valet. Am I right? That's fine if I am. Heck, I'd even look into going to a butler school to do it right. ;)

As for pay, she didn't mention that yet. /:O

One possible problem point might be music. I really don't like country or heavy metal. :-\ Country depresses me and heavy metal just rubs my nerves the wrong way. I'll have to ask what she listens to in my next email.

So what do people think of the above? Is the above normal duties of a roadie? Anything I should ask for clarification on? Anything you think she might have left out? Besides pay and music that is. Any red flags you see? Thoughts? Comments? Advice?

SC_dude
10-30-2006, 09:58 PM
i think you need to find out the pay!

Jenny
10-30-2006, 10:03 PM
Doesn't sound like a fun job to me; and based on my very, very limited knowledge of features and their pay and their expenses and their schedules I cannot imagine that either your pay or your food is going to be very good.

yoda57us
10-31-2006, 05:33 AM
Beleive it or not I know a guy that did this. He was a tour manager/roadie for rock bands for years and got an offer from a feature who was married to a guy in one of the bands he worked for. He did it for eight months and declared at the end of it all that he would rather be on the road with four of five guys crammed into a van than ever tour with a dancer again.

If you want to spend five months wiping gel, lube, whipped cream, candle wax or who knows what else off of the stage after her shows, get bitched out by the house dancers if she leaves the stage a mess, and have to put up with idiot club owners and DJ's...Go For It.

Oh, did I mention PMS, no money nights, psycho-fans who all say they "know" her and guys following you back to your hotel...or camper as the case may be...It's like being her platonic boyfriend - all of the BS with absolutely none of the upside.

The mere fact that she hasn't mentioned the money means it's gonna suck...

Not my cup of tea but hey, it's your self-esteem.

mr_punk
10-31-2006, 07:21 PM
A feature dancer has asked me to be her roadie.She is just about to start up her tour and knew I was looking for a change in my life.a roadie? now, is that considered a step above or below a suitcase pimp?

I sent her an email that I was tentatively interested but needed to know more about what the job would entail. She's now replied back with the following.<snipped job description>i see. actually, it sounds marginally worse than being a piss monkey.

Now when I read the above, the word that comes to my mind is "butler". A personal valet. Am I right? That's fine if I am.that's the spirit. hey, it could be even worse. at least, she didn't ask you to be the towel boy on the set of a bukkake film.

So what do people think of the above? Is the above normal duties of a roadie? Anything I should ask for clarification on? Anything you think she might have left out? Besides pay and music that is. Any red flags you see? Thoughts? Comments? Advice?i don't think you're going to find too many people enthralled with the idea down here. try upstairs...some of those guys will probably pop in their pants at the prospect.

easy_e
10-31-2006, 09:26 PM
If I had absolutely nothing else to do and no worries about money, I would probably do it, just for the experience. Assuming you like her. It's only one month, how bad could it be?

Katrine
10-31-2006, 09:39 PM
If I were a feature dancer, I would so have a big hot dykey UFC asskicking type chick to be my assistant. And I would pay her well too! But that's fantasy world. The last thing I would want after a night of being nice to creepy guys is to have to bunk with an equally creepy guy. And believe me, some of the most appalling characters I've witnessed were guys waiting for hours for the feature, with flowers for her, ignoring all the other girls..........

xdamage
11-01-2006, 07:37 AM
Seriously, I can't fathom why you'd want to do this. If I had a month with nothing to do, I can't imagine pissing it away as roadie. Unless.... well maybe you're thinking you're going to get some tail out of it. Guys will do crazy things if they think they are going to score.

evan_essence
11-06-2006, 12:42 AM
The job of a roadie is merciless. Long hours, low pay. If you're curious beyond reason, want to work like a dog and build your library of crazy stories to tell, yeah, I can see doing it for a short period of time. But for heaven's sake, don't even attempt to f**k her. That's completely unworkable even if you both want to do it. Get that elsewhere on the road.

-Ev

Smokeless
11-19-2006, 11:15 PM
A Bluebird (http://www.blue-bird.com/products/coach/motorhome/). She sent me photographs.O.M.G. I'm not sure that hog ... err "Bluebird" ... could fit across the Bixby bridge! (Another view of the Bixby) (http://www.nps.navy.mil/idarm/idarm-images/bixby-bridge-1b.gif)

Seriously, you've got the 1st month to see if you like it. And you're young. (Relatively speaking.) W.T.F. Try it out.

We'll expect a full report in a month. Especially if you squeeze that pig through the Bixby bridge.

I_luv_dancers!
12-05-2006, 08:19 AM
It takes a lot of money to cover this kind of operation. She must be good, and well-known.

Your success will depend on how much crap you're willing to suck up.

Good luck!

Bob_Loblaw
11-12-2007, 01:21 PM
Was skimming through old threads and come across this one. So what ended up happening TT? I need closure!

Twin Tattoo
11-13-2007, 12:04 AM
Was skimming through old threads and come across this one. So what ended up happening TT? I need closure!

I didn't do it. In later talks with her, it became clear that she wanted more than just a business relationship. I like her as a friend but just that. We're still friends. She just swung through a month ago to pay me a visit. Her Bluebird is sweet! And she's traveling alone without a roadie ... which further confirms what she really wanted in the first place.