View Full Version : What does it take to get a fuckin' fuck from you guys in the world??
We posters here are all part of what many would call a dysfunctional MB family. Family feelings aside, lets be careful to try not to overanalyze other peoples psychoses. Whenever we do so, we wind up creating a shit storm. And often in the process forget that our own are equally torrential.
FBR
PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 06:15 PM
OK so I have a question now...a few hours(aka a few pages) ago, I wrote about Keith and Stan, two guys who wrongly assumed that I wanted a clingy relationship with them, so they started avoiding me. In reality, I just wanted something casual...whether it meant a one-night stand, fuck-buddy, casual dating, etc...just something casual and fleeting. Because these ASSuming boys judged me wrongly without consulting me about it, they got the wrong idea about me and started avoiding me like the plague. When I finally confronted them about it, they didn't consider it being assertive or straight-forward; they considered me being a crazy bitch.
So, my question to you guys is...what is the best way to be straight-forward about what I want? Without looking TOO sexually aggressive, or scaring off guys? I try to act nice, and stifle some of my sexual aggression/libido, and as a result guys think I'm this innocent like cotton-candy virgin who wants to cling onto a guy. I'M NOT THAT INNOCENT. Any suggestions? Since the Keith/Stan situation 2yrs ago, I've darkened my hair color, gotten a boob job, and have been wearing clothing styles that are less juvenile. As a result, people now mistake me for being 3 years younger than my age, insteada 6 years younger as they did before. I've also taken to talking about deep subjects such as politics, as a way of showing off my level of education. Any other suggestions?
xdamage
11-11-2006, 06:27 PM
OK so I have a question now...a few hours(aka a few pages) ago, I wrote about Keith and Stan, two guys who wrongly assumed that I wanted a clingy relationship with them, so they started avoiding me. In reality, I just wanted something casual...whether it meant a one-night stand, fuck-buddy, casual dating, etc...just something casual and fleeting. Because these ASSuming boys judged me wrongly without consulting me about it, they got the wrong idea about me and started avoiding me like the plague. When I finally confronted them about it, they didn't consider it being assertive or straight-forward; they considered me being a crazy bitch.
So, my question to you guys is...what is the best way to be straight-forward about what I want? Without looking TOO sexually aggressive, or scaring off guys? I try to act nice, and stifle some of my sexual aggression/libido, and as a result guys think I'm this innocent like cotton-candy virgin who wants to cling onto a guy. I'M NOT THAT INNOCENT. Any suggestions? Since the Keith/Stan situation 2yrs ago, I've darkened my hair color, gotten a boob job, and have been wearing clothing styles that are less juvenile. As a result, people now mistake me for being 3 years younger than my age, insteada 6 years younger as they did before. I've also taken to talking about deep subjects such as politics, as a way of showing off my level of education. Any other suggestions?
Seriously, I would say, first be honest with yourself, are these the type of guys who are looking for something casual? There is little point in chasing after guys that are more conservative, looking for a longer term relationship unless you just want to be frustrated over and over again.
Once you're past that sticking point, there is still a lot to be said for the art-form of the seduction. Everyone wants to feel special. There are thousand ways to convey this from a seductive look, to suggestive touching to a properly timed compliment, to teasing. Some seem to just have this intuitive sense, while others have to learn it. Of course you can always find guys that just want it straight up "lets go fuck" but for some of us, the fun is in the build-up, the subtle play of sexuality that occurs before the finale. Have fun ;)
sander8son
11-11-2006, 06:58 PM
So, my question to you guys is...what is the best way to be straight-forward about what I want? Without looking TOO sexually aggressive, or scaring off guys? I try to act nice, and stifle some of my sexual aggression/libido, and as a result guys think I'm this innocent like cotton-candy virgin who wants to cling onto a guy. I'M NOT THAT INNOCENT. Any suggestions? Since the Keith/Stan situation 2yrs ago, I've darkened my hair color, gotten a boob job, and have been wearing clothing styles that are less juvenile. As a result, people now mistake me for being 3 years younger than my age, insteada 6 years younger as they did before. I've also taken to talking about deep subjects such as politics, as a way of showing off my level of education. Any other suggestions?
Ok, i'm having trouble figuring you out. You're talking about how frustrated and almost desperate you are... but at the same time, i'm guessing youre picky, like most people. However, I'm struggling to figure out what you're picky over. So let me ask. If you weren't frustrated, would you really want to bang some guy who is intimidated by your sexual aggression? I'm guessing not. SO i would think that turning on your sexual agression will be a way to put out to everyone around you that you WANT SEX and someone who is equal or exceeds your sexual agression will probably step forward. Though, you may need to grab his package and wink, then walk to the other side of the bar to see if he's your equal. If he recoils, he's not your type. If he follows you, he's your type and you know what you both want... jackpot.
xdamage
11-11-2006, 07:19 PM
Ok, i'm having trouble figuring you out. You're talking about how frustrated and almost desperate you are... but at the same time, i'm guessing youre picky, like most people. However, I'm struggling to figure out what you're picky over.
sanderson has a point and it somewhat confuses me too. On the one hand you say you just want to get laid and how hard it is, on the other it isn't that hard to find guys that just want to get off, unless you are picky, or hideous. And honestly I'm having a lot of trouble believing you are hideous, so I'd guess picky too. Like I said in your other post though, we just don't get to have sex with anyone we want, period, I don't care how sexy you are, it won't happen, not ever, and thankfully not (for reasons I won't explain at the moment). So yea, my thought is too your chasing guys you can't have (something we all do).
PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 08:24 PM
The guys I'm going for are guys that eventually ended up in long-term relationships(such as one of the guys I described before from 2 yrs ago), but are content in hooking up and/or having fuck-buddies in the meantime(who isn't?). The guys from 2 yrs ago that I described(Keith and Stan) are NOT super conservative guys(although Stan's politics are...ewwww I can't believe he was working for Senator "Ricky Rat" Santorum >:(). They were interested in girls and hooking up. They were good-looking guys, however not perfect 10s(for example, Stan was a former fattie who used to be heavyset then lost the weight and became hot), so they weren't completely unattainable. However, they were NOT interested in ME. I do not know if this is mostly because they misinterpreted me and thought "Stan is hot" meant "I want to cling onto Stan," or maybe they didn't like my looks or my failures at the time(e.g., I had a min wage job, I couldn't get a "real" job, I didn't have my own place, I was a financial mess, etc.).
Since that time, I've improved my looks, my financial situation, and have a "normal" job in a promising career field(insurance). I just want to make sure that I've also improved the whole being assertive/straight-forward thing. I tend to get shy around guys and can sometimes give out mixed signals as to what I want(for example, it will be obvious that I find a guy attractive, but not so obvious that I'm the type of girl who wants a hook-up, because I have a very innocent demure demeanor about me). I'm just trying to make that last improvement. I don't want any more "Keiths" or "Stans" misinterpreting me and causing aggravation for all 3 of us in the end.
cristo58
11-11-2006, 08:31 PM
^^^Maybe your pushing to hard...I know when I'm least looking or expecting an 'encounter' it happens............ease back and let it come to you ........ if your as good looking and open as you say you are it will happen when you least expect it ........ or not .....
xdamage
11-11-2006, 08:33 PM
However, they were NOT interested in ME. I do not know if this is mostly because they misinterpreted me and thought "Stan is hot" meant "I want to cling onto Stan," or maybe they didn't like my looks or my failures at the time(e.g., I had a min wage job, I couldn't get a "real" job, I didn't have my own place, I was a financial mess, etc.).
Like I said, I'm still having a bit of trouble with this because I just assume that not everyone is attracted to everyone, or more specifically, even the hottest of the hot, still won't be able to sleep with everyone they want. And that's a damn good thing! Absolute power corrupts absolutely and it's a good thing we don't have people running around with the power to seduce anyone they want anytime (thouguh some come close, but it's not hard to see the megalomania side of thier personality if you look).
I'm just trying to make that last improvement.
The process of improvement never ends of course, but if you mean your nose, well sure, go see a doctor and look into it, though my guess is having it done won't really change anything in the long run. A little bump, a little flare, whatever, if that's all that's standing between you and some guy, well, the cynical side of me would say fuck em and suggest a trip the sex toy store is in order (vibrators respect you in the morning). Of course as a stripper, there is an argument for getting it done for business reasons. In the SC details like that can matter a lot in terms of how much you make over the long run (yea, yea, we customers can be shallow when we are having to pay for it, but OTC, we are lot less picky).
As far as being shy vs assertive, well people have different personalities. Nothing wrong with being on the shy side (as long as you do stand up for yourself when you need to of course).
PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 08:54 PM
The process of improvement never ends of course, but if you mean your nose, well sure, go see a doctor and look into it, though my guess is having it done won't really change anything in the long run.
No, that's not what I meant(although I get an awful lot of reminders about my nose :-\). What I meant by my "last improvement," is being more assertive and straightforward. As in, presenting myself in a way that accurately reflects both how I am, and also how I want to be perceived. For instance, if people such as Keith and Stan are perceiving me as a clingy little giggly girl who wants a relationship, when in reality all I was looking for was a casual fuck-buddy/hook-up type thing, then there's a problem. It might be on their part, for their poor misinterpretation skills and for turning their backs to me before I have a chance to explain myself. It could also be my fault, for acting in a way similar to that of a giggly schoolgirl, that might lead people to perceive me differently than how I am. I need to be more assertive. I need to stop being shy around guys, because that leads guys to underestimate my sexual experience or think that I'm more of a relationship-type "good girl" than someone who they could just hook up with and move on.
My assertiveness problems are as follows:
1. I'm shy.
2. I don't make good eye contact with people, esp people I do not know well.
3. I tend to giggle a lot in a schoolgirlish way, esp when I'm shy/nervous.
4. I don't "step up to the plate" in many instances.
5. I act in a very demure, reserved way(unless totally drunk, or when around close friends that I feel comfortable around) that contradicts the sexual prowess side of me.
6. When I get frustrated after noticing that guys are viewing me as the "nice little girl next door," I overcompensate for this by quickly switching the convo to things of a sexually aggressive nature(such as stories about times I dominated guys). This probably catches guys off guard, because I go from being all demure to talking like a pervert. This might also lead people to think that I'm bipolar or something!
Jenny
11-11-2006, 09:00 PM
^^^
Honey, you could be fixating too much on these guys.
Keep in mind that
a) just because they don't want a relationship with you doesn't mean that they don't want a relationship
b) just because they don't want a relationship with you doesn't mean that they want a casual hook up with you
c) stop modelling yourself on the opinion/reaction of these two guys. Geez hon, you have a whole life that does not involve trying to convince these guys to fuck you.
d) they have their own reasons for distancing you, all of which probably relate in some way to the idea that they didn't value you that much, in any capacity, to begin with. Stop worrying.
e) find guys that want to fuck you based on who you are actually are rather than altering your personality to attract casual lays.
PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 09:02 PM
^ ^ ^ I just thought of something...these unassertiveness/shyness problems follow and haunt me at the strip club, too. It might explain why I often feel like I'm not making as much money as I should.
I've had more than a fair share of guys annoyingly say to me, "What's a nice little girl next door like you doing in a place like this?" I even had one guy(back from my first 2 weeks of dancing) tell me that I was "too humble to be a stripper"...and didn't spend a dime on me. One time, a guy made a wisecrack about me being innocent and girl-next-door-ish, so I contradicted that by acting all horny and perverted and seductive...eventually I got a dance outta him for it. And during the dance, I behaved(followed the rules) but danced in a seductive, sex-crazed way. At the end of the dance, the guy commented that I was right, that I WASN'T that innocent. Then his friend sitting next to him bought a dance. :)
xdamage
11-11-2006, 09:05 PM
No, that's not what I meant(although I get an awful lot of reminders about my nose :-\). What I meant by my "last improvement," is being more assertive and straightforward. As in, presenting myself in a way that accurately reflects both how I am, and also how I want to be perceived. For instance, if people such as Keith and Stan are perceiving me as a clingy little giggly girl who wants a relationship, when in reality all I was looking for was a casual fuck-buddy/hook-up type thing, then there's a problem. It might be on their part, for their poor misinterpretation skills and for turning their backs to me before I have a chance to explain myself. It could also be my fault, for acting in a way similar to that of a giggly schoolgirl, that might lead people to perceive me differently than how I am. I need to be more assertive. I need to stop being shy around guys, because that leads guys to underestimate my sexual experience or think that I'm more of a relationship-type "good girl" than someone who they could just hook up with and move on.
My assertiveness problems are as follows:
1. I'm shy.
2. I don't make good eye contact with people, esp people I do not know well.
3. I tend to giggle a lot in a schoolgirlish way, esp when I'm shy/nervous.
4. I don't "step up to the plate" in many instances.
5. I act in a very demure, reserved way(unless totally drunk, or when around close friends that I feel comfortable around) that contradicts the sexual prowess side of me.
6. When I get frustrated after noticing that guys are viewing me as the "nice little girl next door," I overcompensate for this by quickly switching the convo to things of a sexually aggressive nature(such as stories about times I dominated guys). This probably catches guys off guard, because I go from being all demure to talking like a pervert. This might also lead people to think that I'm bipolar or something!
That's a very good break down and set of self-goals. And I love that when people can do that, and break down their problems into things they can actually work and improve on.
That said, and I know I'm going to regret this, I do happen to agree with the gist of Jenny's post is that you know, it really is okay to be who you are, and you really don't need to rework yourself to get guys. There are going to be plenty of guys that like you as you are, and if you change, you may well find that you get the guys you think you wanted, and turn off the guys who really you'd be happier with in the long run.
Hard to say, just the good old the grass is always greener on the other side thing. But it's generally I good thing for a shy person to work some on being more assertive, and I like the way you broke down the areas you want to improve.
PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 09:07 PM
Jenny, you missed part of my point. I'm not talking about altering my personality or who I am. Don't get me wrong, I like who I am and I like the part of my personality that is a sexual prowess. What I'm talking about, is altering how I ACT so that people can more accurately assess my personality and who I am. The way I act often leads to people misinterpreting who I am. By acting demure and shy, I am acting misleading. I act in a way that confuses people about who I am and what I want from people. And it's not about just Keith or Stan...I've been using them as a running example because I explained my situation with them. It's about guys in general. Keith and Stan are just a few of the guys who wrongly mistaked me for being a clingy girl, simply because I acted giggly and shy instead of acting in a straightforward, assertive manner.
Jenny
11-11-2006, 09:08 PM
^^^
Oookay... honey, it is possible that a few guy who WALK INTO A STRIPCLUB and meet you really think that you are too shy and too humble to a be a "good" stripper, but most guys? Know that, by definition, you ARE a stripper. Those that do not make that connection are possibly not guys you necessarily want to be giving yourself an IRL personality makeover for.
This is turning into Oprah
FBR
PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 09:11 PM
I don't give two shits about Keith or Stan, anyway. FYI, Keith has this stupid emo combed-down hairdo these days...ew. And Stan has started to gain back some of the weight he lost. It's not about them. I'm not still pining after them. They're only an example for purposes of simplicity.
And I don't WANT to change who I am! If I DID change who I was, then I would go from being a sexual prowess to actually being a relationship-loving, giggly clingy type of girl. BUT I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRL AND I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE. What I DO want to change, however, is HOW I ACT. I act in a very indirect way that misleads people and results in people thinking that I'm someone that I'm not. For example, I'm NOT a relationship-loving clingy girl, but I think that sometimes people think I am because I tend to giggle a lot and don't make eye contact. THAT'S what I need to work on. Hells, it isn't just acting assertive around guys...it's acting assertive in general. I'm working on it.
xdamage
11-11-2006, 09:16 PM
^^^
Oookay... honey, it is possible that a few guy who WALK INTO A STRIPCLUB and meet you really think that you are too shy and too humble to a be a "good" stripper, but most guys? Know that, by definition, you ARE a stripper. Those that do not make that connection are possibly not guys you necessarily want to be giving yourself an IRL personality makeover for.
I fucking want to stab myself for agreeing with Jenny yet again :O but... I agree.
Also I really wouldn't worry about this for business reasons. And actually the shy personality type can be a turn on for guys, even in the club, as long as you aren't so shy that you can't make the rounds and sell yourself. But once you have them, shyness could play to your advantage. Not every guy is looking for the assertive type of woman (which was sort of indirectly argued that guys can actually be turned off by an overly assertive woman).
Jenny
11-11-2006, 09:17 PM
Okay, I'm not attacking you. Chill. I'm saying that rather than change your self-presentation you should consider finding guys that LIKE your presentation, and further that your presentation may not be a problem in the way you think it is. If you don't want to do that - well, it doesn't matter what I say because I can't make you. But you go around posting your personal shit and asking people for commentary and (god forbid) advice, you're going to get it. People like commentary and advice. We all think we are the smartest and most insightful.
xdamage
11-11-2006, 09:23 PM
And I don't WANT to change who I am! If I DID change who I was, then I would go from being a sexual prowess to actually being a relationship-loving, giggly clingy type of girl. BUT I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRL AND I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE. What I DO want to change, however, is HOW I ACT. I act in a very indirect way that misleads people and results in people thinking that I'm someone that I'm not. For example, I'm NOT a relationship-loving clingy girl, but I think that sometimes people think I am because I tend to giggle a lot and don't make eye contact. THAT'S what I need to work on. Hells, it isn't just acting assertive around guys...it's acting assertive in general. I'm working on it.
So bottom line is you're not the clingy type, but your shy nature and shy behavior is misleading guys into thinking that you are. And you don't want to change to make others like you, but rather so people stop misinterpreting what you really want. If that's the gist of it, and it's not to try to make others like you, sounds like you know what you need to do.
xdamage
11-11-2006, 09:26 PM
This is turning into Oprah
FBR
True, but on the positive side it isn't turning into Jerry at the moment.
PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 09:31 PM
Yes xdamange, that is what I meant. Along with unassertiveness, another problem that I have is my TERRIBLE communication skills. It seems that I either have to write a 1,000-page thesis to explain one simple point, or else people start misinterpreting what I'm trying to say. Not the fault of you guys, but mine, because apparently even my written thoughts aren't straightforward enough.
I know what I gotta do, now I gotta start reading up on it or seeking advice from close friends on how to be more assertive. (No advice from friend Bob, because he is currently pissed at me for me finally standing up for myself to him!) If I don't LIKE something about myself or how I present myself, why SHOULDN'T I change that?? I don't WANT to be shy or have guys mistake me for being more conservative than I am...I just act that way because I either don't know how to be more straightforward, or feel uncomfortable doing so. And as far as guys ITC commenting that I'm a "girl next door," yes it happens more often than I'd like, and the reason it bothers me is because I'm NOT the girl next door, and I don't WANT to be the girl next door. I guess I need to work on how I present myself if I don't like the results/consequences.
xdamage
11-11-2006, 09:37 PM
Yes xdamange, that is what I meant. Along with unassertiveness, another problem that I have is my TERRIBLE communication skills. It seems that I either have to write a 1,000-page thesis to explain one simple point, or else people start misinterpreting what I'm trying to say. Not the fault of you guys, but mine, because apparently even my written thoughts aren't straightforward enough.
I know what I gotta do, now I gotta start reading up on it or seeking advice from close friends on how to be more assertive. (No advice from friend Bob, because he is currently pissed at me for me finally standing up for myself to him!) If I don't LIKE something about myself or how I present myself, why SHOULDN'T I change that?? I don't WANT to be shy or have guys mistake me for being more conservative than I am...I just act that way because I either don't know how to be more straightforward, or feel uncomfortable doing so. And as far as guys ITC commenting that I'm a "girl next door," yes it happens more often than I'd like, and the reason it bothers me is because I'm NOT the girl next door, and I don't WANT to be the girl next door. I guess I need to work on how I present myself if I don't like the results/consequences.
Well, it's your life. Do what need to do (no need to consult Bob }:D)
But seriously, step #1 then is getting over feeling like you need to justify or even explain yourself. I can't tell if you're feeling guilt, or what, but whatever is holding you back from changing, just keep in mind it's your life and nobody elses. Do with it what you like, and do it without guilt or shame. Have fun, sounds like you're on the right track.
mr_punk
11-12-2006, 08:03 AM
My assertiveness problems are as follows:
1. I'm shy.
2. I don't make good eye contact with people, esp people I do not know well.
3. I tend to giggle a lot in a schoolgirlish way, esp when I'm shy/nervous.
4. I don't "step up to the plate" in many instances.
5. I act in a very demure, reserved way(unless totally drunk, or when around close friends that I feel comfortable around) that contradicts the sexual prowess side of me.IIRC, i wasn't really attracted to shy, demure broads at that age myself. i mean, she had to be really hot for me to put in the work to drag her out of her shell. otherwise, i'd think she was boring and kind of a drag.
6. When I get frustrated after noticing that guys are viewing me as the "nice little girl next door," I overcompensate for this by quickly switching the convo to things of a sexually aggressive nature(such as stories about times I dominated guys). This probably catches guys off guard, because I go from being all demure to talking like a pervert. This might also lead people to think that I'm bipolar or something!well, the next time you're talking to a guy you like and you begin to act this way. if he cracks a lecherous smile instead of a horrific stare. you'll know it's the right guy.
I'm saying that rather than change your self-presentation you should consider finding guys that LIKE your presentation, and further that your presentation may not be a problem in the way you think it is.of course, it'll never happen.
PhillyDancer1982
11-12-2006, 10:44 AM
Well Jenny, I still don't know what is wrong with changing something about myself if *I* myself do not like it. If I do not like something about myself, it is ALWAYS a sign of strength to change it, rather than "dealt with it" and continue complaining about my faults. Besides, I wasn't talking about changing who I am, or my personality...I was talking about changing the PRESENTATION. Do you really think that I WANT to act shy, or portray myself as a giggly schoolgirl that leads people to mistake me for being several years younger than I actually am?...NO, I do it because acting in this shy, no-eye-contact manner is my "comfort zone." I need to extend past my comfort zone and although it might feel uncomfortable, learn to make eye contact, be more assertive, and make it certain of who I am and what I want. I was reading Heartless Bitches International's section on "nice guys," and one girl described that she isn't a "nice girl"...the things that she described as being a "nice girl," such as continuing to make conversation, keep convo going if it's not interesting, agreeing with someone just for the sake of looking nice, giggling nervously...are the things that I do. I don't LIKE that. Why shouldn't I work on that? Unless people want me to stay the way I am, so that I never improve myself and thus never pose competition for them?
Jenny
11-12-2006, 01:11 PM
Um, okay, honey. Like I said - your life, and you hardly need my permission. But if you look at the context of this thread it seems pretty clear that you are changing things about yourself so that guys will fuck you. Obviously, if that is what you want to do, go ahead. I'm just offering a little perspective.
xdamage
11-12-2006, 02:44 PM
I still don't know what is wrong with changing something about myself if *I* myself do not like it. If I do not like something about myself, it is ALWAYS a sign of strength to change it, rather than "dealt with it" and continue complaining about my faults. Besides, I wasn't talking about changing who I am, or my personality...I was talking about changing the PRESENTATION.
I would guess Jenny's objection is that you're doing something to attract guys, versus doing it for some other reasons, but having read your follow up messages I read into that you have a lot of reasons for wanting to be more assertive.
And I admire when people choose to change themselves rather then sit around complaining or hoping that the rest of the world will change to suit them. I think we are born with certain personality strengths and weaknesses. It takes guts to be able to identify your own weaknesses and resolve to work on changing them.
So you get a heartfelt "you go girl" from me. Besides, I use to be shy when I was younger too, and I can relate to wanting to be more assertive.
Katrine
11-12-2006, 03:25 PM
Reading self-helps books only gets you so far. Experience life. You are now getting out of your shell of a formerly shy person. Just throw yourself out there, win some lose some.
Als, Philly, you take things too personally. Or at least that's what appears to be the case based on your postings. No one is out to attack you or your nose. Learn to build a thicker skin around yourself. Stripping should help.
And if you from shy girl to sluttyho in 6 seconds flat, you are going to throw people off.
Practice speaking, our loud, in the mirror, or with a friend. You need repetition for it to become a habit. Keep the eye contact, control the giggle. Still, all of this is details. You have a deeper fundamental problem to get over.
WHY, oh WHY, do you need these guys for meaningless sex all the time? Every once in a while is fine, but your behavior is OCD. Wouldn't you agree?
xdamage
11-12-2006, 06:06 PM
WHY, oh WHY, do you need these guys for meaningless sex all the time? Every once in a while is fine, but your behavior is OCD. Wouldn't you agree?
Well, that part of her messages does raise red flags for me too.
Of course Philly you are young and may just be in a screw-around/experimental phase, but yea, hopefully you are making these changes for you, and not just to get guys.
PhillyDancer1982
11-13-2006, 12:47 AM
I know that my sexual addiction is obsessive compulsive. I've had friends tell me that I should seek counselling for it. I first started going after sex when I was younger, when I was first able to get dating/romantic/sexual attention from guys(which was at an age later than most)...I was spiteful and slighted that it'd taken me so long to start dating, that I hurried to start having sex. For some reason it became addicting and I couldn't focus off it. This resulted in a physical addiction/dependence on it, and I found that I needed sex more and more to satisfy a physical high(similar to drugs, but legal! :)) and to feel like I was finally past that horrible point in my life in which I was "ugly."
There were a few obstacles that got in the way of my sex life in the past. One, I was cute before but I think I look a lot better now with a boob job, more toned figure, and better/darker hair. I've attracted more guys since the boob job, but when guys call me "ugly," it hurts because I've already spent literally thousands on my appearance(not necessarily for them, though, but for myself; guys are a nice side benefit, though). Two, at one point I was in a bad situation working min wage jobs and living in poverty, so guys often misperceived me as being dumb, unsuccessful, and inexperienced...this proved to be a major turn-off to guys older than the age of 19. However, this hasn't been a problem for me since I started dancing...although I still worry that people(not just guys) overlook my intelligence and my college degree.
To this day though, I go nuts if I do not get off. It's so funny how I was able to turn off my drug addictions like a light switch, but I haven't been able to get through my sexual addiction and it's been years now...
So when it is designated "Asshole Night," as it was the other night, sometimes I feel more insulted than I should worry about. I really overreacted about the whole thing(although I was RIGHT in telling off those loser guys! :D). I do not think I am overreacting about the need to fix my assertiveness and eye contact issues, though...these are legitimate issues that can improve many things in my life, not just attracting guys. However, you guys are right...I should stop talking about the loser guys.
xdamage
11-13-2006, 07:46 AM
I know that my sexual addiction is obsessive compulsive. I've had friends tell me that I should seek counselling for it.
Your messages make a lot more sense now that you've explained that.
sometimes I feel more insulted than I should worry about.
This is really terrible addiction, in part because you have so much of your self tied up with what others do. And when you have friends telling you to get some help with it, it's time to spend the money on that before more surgery. Hope things work out for you and you can get past this.
I do not think I am overreacting about the need to fix my assertiveness and eye contact issues, though...these are legitimate issues that can improve many things in my life, not just attracting guys.
Agreed. And on the plus side you're clear minded that you have issues to work though. That's 90% of the battle there. Good luck.
Andygirl
12-09-2006, 01:02 AM
I think seeking professional help might be the answer for you. Your crippling insecurity seems to be causing major, life-altering problems for you. It might be helpful to address these issues before making any changes in your life.
datchapin
12-13-2006, 05:15 PM
Maybe I'm out of line here, but have you ever considered going to Houston. New place where you can start fresh and try being different, it might be more to your liking. Just a suggestion not trying to instigate anything.
I_luv_dancers!
12-15-2006, 04:46 PM
I wish your original post was still up....
I'd fuck you if we "clicked" - meaning that you don't behave in such a way as to put me off, and I had a chance (however brief) to experience your personality.
The real question is would you fuck me?
Maybe you're just targeting the wrong guys?
Katrine
12-15-2006, 05:33 PM
Wow Philly,
See how nice the junkies are! They are willing to throw you and your huge sexy knockers a bone by sticking it in you for a few seconds. Now don't fuck this up mami!! ;)
Sectumsempra
12-16-2006, 01:59 PM
If you're that hard up, head to your local comic book shop, and offer to do it with whoever wins the next Magic (or whatever other game) tournament.
Then watch them play the most competitive magic they ever played in their life :)
"Screw the Pro Tour... this is for the chance to LOSE MY VIRGINITY!!!"
I_luv_dancers!
12-16-2006, 04:11 PM
Wow Philly,
See how nice the junkies are! They are willing to throw you and your huge sexy knockers a bone by sticking it in you for a few seconds. Now don't fuck this up mami!! ;)
Owwww Katrine, :O that hurts - "A few seconds"??? Don't help me, ok? ;)
"I'm proud to be a sixty-minute man!" }:D
I mean really, Philly Dancer posts that she can't seem to get some quality dick - with that rack? Something is truly wrong with the world. Of COURSE we're willing to help Philly out. What gentleman wouldn't?
Philly-say the word and I'm at your service. Can be in your city in just a couple hours, it's right up I-95 from me.
You like beer?
Katrine
12-16-2006, 05:57 PM
All you can offer her is beer? You're getting to motorboat those hoohas with beer??? C'mon, she's a classy girl, at least offer her some champagne. Microwbrew at the VERY least......
I_luv_dancers!
12-16-2006, 06:54 PM
All you can offer her is beer? You're getting to motorboat those hoohas with beer??? C'mon, she's a classy girl, at least offer her some champagne. Microwbrew at the VERY least......
If it takes Champagne to fuel that motorboat, I'm in!
When I say beer, I mean a great beer or a microbrew. Something like a Dogfish-head "Raison D'Etre", or a Blue Moon or a Negro Modelo, Newcastle Brown Ale, Black & Tan, Guinness.....:drunk:
My feelings on it: "People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot."
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
I lift my glass to Katrine and Philly Dancer!! :beer:
sander8son
12-18-2006, 05:52 PM
Blue moon isn't a great beer. Its the shittiest of all witbeers.
I'd fuck her. and screw beer, i'll bring a bag of my own feces! well maybe i can bring some beer. Ive got a porter and a stout i made ready. And in 4 weeks an apple/spiced witbeer will be ready to drink. But i'm not willing to travel more than 30 minutes.
ugh, a sixty minute man? borring. I'm a ten minute "man" and proud of it. If I dont cum in ten minutes, i'm done.
and kat, i'll extend the same offer to you; bag of feces, refusal to travel, and absolutely no effort at all put into the sex.
Katrine
12-18-2006, 10:07 PM
and kat, i'll extend the same offer to you; bag of feces, refusal to travel, and absolutely no effort at all put into the sex.
Done, done, and DONE!! I'll hop on the redeye and be there in the morning, hairy lice infested bush and all!
sander8son
12-19-2006, 04:15 AM
Done, done, and DONE!! I'll hop on the redeye and be there in the morning, hairy lice infested bush and all!
OOO! a free meal for me too? fantastic!
yoda57us
12-20-2006, 05:19 AM
Done, done, and DONE!! I'll hop on the redeye and be there in the morning, hairy lice infested bush and all!
Hmmmm...this may cause me to re-think that whole "share an escort" thing that we talked about....can you at least trim the bush????;)
sander8son
12-20-2006, 04:23 PM
Hmmmm...this may cause me to re-think that whole "share an escort" thing that we talked about....can you at least trim the bush????;)
stupid yoda. think outside THE BOX for once in your life. have them both jump in the shower and have the escort shave her bush while you watch, relaxing, drinking [beverage of choice].
yoda57us
12-20-2006, 05:44 PM
stupid yoda. think outside THE BOX for once in your life. have them both jump in the shower and have the escort shave her bush while you watch, relaxing, drinking [beverage of choice].
Two hot women in the shower? First of all, it's gonna be a hot tub if it happens and I'm gonna be right there in the middle of things...outside the box my ass....well, not MY ass but somebody's ass...}:D
Katrine
12-20-2006, 10:59 PM
I got 9 lbs of furry pussy sitting atop my crotch right now as a I type. I hope you like tabby colored carpet, haha!
yoda57us
12-21-2006, 09:54 AM
I'm speechless, among other things....:-\ :O /:O ;)