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PhillyDancer1982
11-09-2006, 12:37 AM
OK I deleted my original post because I realize that it is not fair to vent about stuff and generalize guys to all be jerks. I shouldn't take out a few bad experiences in a row on everyone here. Sorry, guys. Don't get me wrong...if a guy is a jerk, then I'm NOT going to feel bad standing up for myself or thinking of him as an asshole...but I guess I should put less focus on them and maybe I would feel happier. I realize that my nervousness and unhappiness around these jerks can probably explain why I was acting "uptight"(in their words) and turning them off from me. That, and as Mast often tells me, I'm not straightforward about what I want from people and what my goals are. So I'm going to work on that, just as I've been working on how to stand up for myself. Thanks for the advice though, guys.

Katrine
11-09-2006, 12:42 AM
Honey, you're not going to get any sympathy here. don't even try. ;)

PhillyDancer1982
11-09-2006, 12:58 AM
I wasn't trying to get sympathy, I was hoping that the guys on this board could answer this question with a few possibilities. It is angering. And okay, I understand that guys have standards too, but why do they think I'm good enough to hang out with them, or think I'm good enough to ask if they can get a ride home, but not to hook up with? Or, they lead me on as if we're going to hook up later on, then make some lame excuses?? Maybe *I* have standards too, and my standards do not include serving as a volunteer taxi driver.

(NOTE: For the loser who asked for a ride home, I did NOT give him a ride. When he asked, I told him lamely that I'd think about it, because I had mixed reactions about how nice of a guy he was. Later on he kinda left me standing around by myself, and other friends started coming up to me and asking me if I was lonely and if I wanted to join them instead. That made me realize what a fool he'd made me look. So I told him exactly what I wrote, that I am not a volunteer taxi cab and to get a ride with his friend instead. He kept tapping me on the shoulder annoyingly and asking if he could still get a ride, and I walked away. But in the past, sometimes I would buckle and give friends a ride just to be nice. This guy wasn't aware that I'd done that in the past, so why would he think I was some stupid volunteer taxi service? And he was far from the only guy who disrespected me tonight.)

PhillyDancer1982
11-09-2006, 01:30 AM
I didn't explicitly state that. What happened was, we were conversing and flirting and stuff(he was a friend of some friends). I thought that I might have a chance with him and/or one of his friends, especially since they'd been drinking for quite some time. While we were talking, one of the things we discussed was the approx. areas we lived at and he realized that he only lived 5mins away from me so he immediately asked me for a ride(his friend was driving their group of friends, and getting a ride home with them meant having to be carted around to drop off his friends before they would get to his place...basically an inconvenience to him). During our conversing, I flirted a little and lightly talked about sexual-related things, and all he really said was "Eh, I can top that." It seemed that he was more interested in getting a shorter ride home, than me. Oh, that and bashing my political affiliation. Then there were times that he would leave me standing around by myself for a few mins, not really making any effort to be like "We're moving over here, come over here." He did that a few times and then some of my acquaintences felt sorry for me so they came over and said "We feel bad that you're all alone." It made me feel really stupid.

And there were at least 4 other guys who did stuff similar...talked about me partying with them later, or going out sometime, etc and then they would suddenly leave or turn their back and start talking to other people, without any given notice. A few assholes even let some stupid drunk chick interrupt my convo with them, to jump into their arms! I told the one guy that I didn't appreciate people interrupting when it was obvious that I was talking to him, and that it made me feel like an 8th class citizen(is there even such a thing?). I'm usually not that blunt and upfront, but hey maybe tonight was practice at me being more assertive and standing up for myself to assholes? Normally I would let people interrupt me like that, both OTC and ITC and then wonder why the other girl got the guy.

Maybe I should go back to my old plan, which was to get guys high or drunk while alone with me, and then make my move. :(

mr_punk
11-09-2006, 07:18 PM
I also have very good sex skills and give the best blow job you'd ever receive. I am social, friendly, and smile a lot...a little too much sometimes. So what is the problem here?? I have a bad sexual addiction and guys have been turning me down left and right.so, you're a slut? not that's there's anything wrong that. i like sluts. however, being slutty doesn't mean much these days.

I was hoping that the guys on this board could answer this question with a few possibilities. It is angering. And okay, I understand that guys have standards too, but why do they think I'm good enough to hang out with them, or think I'm good enough to ask if they can get a ride home, but not to hook up with?well, after years of "hooking up" and "friends with benefits". perhaps, the guys in your age demographic aren't that eager to hook up with a slut because all the other women are just as slutty. assuming he's reasonably normal looking there are only so many girls he can handle. frankly, guys from your generation don't have to develop game or work that hard when other women are "empowering" themselves by throwing in their face for a couple of drinks.

So - guys don't want you - solution? Lower your standards or learn to like it. Same thing we tell them.true. do see Captain Quantum down at the end of the bar, philly? now, he may not be what you're normally attracted to. but hey, he got some things going for him like..uh..a pulse..er..availability and. ok, i'm outta gas.

Maybe I should go back to my old plan, which was to get guys high or drunk while alone with me, and then make my move.ah, an oldie, but still a goodie.

Casual Observer
11-09-2006, 07:26 PM
Is this a rhetorical question?

miabella
11-09-2006, 08:15 PM
getting them drunk or high explicitly to take advantage sexually is quite as shady when girls do it as when guys do it, y'know. just saying.

that said, mrpunk has a point, but i might also add that with women being socially permitted to ask guys for sex, guys now get to have right of refusing that sex-offering. now that both sexes can offer, both sexes get to turn down offers. i sometimes find it a tad comical that women still expect essentially to get a +5 no-turndowns pretty much because they are female. you can't have sexual equality that is only 'girls get to do whatever they want to guys sexually, and men just have to accede'. guys get to experience all the stuff women used to be stuck with (refusing offers, playing hard to get, etc).

anyway, i am rambling before i go drinking. whee.

Katrine
11-09-2006, 10:00 PM
Philly, you're making it to easy for them. People like to relax, flirt, tease each other, debate about disagreements (i.e. politics). Plus, the guy usually prefers to be the seducer in his mind. You're behavior is unsettling to the norm, and people can't instantly cope with the change.

Why do you have to take advantage of guys? Are you even serious here? You're boobs like incredible and you strip. So you must be at least reasonably attractive. I think you might lack basic social skills or something. Talk to someone about your sexual additiction. It can get you in trouble, it got me in trouble pretty heavily over the years....

Invest in a vibrator.

PhillyDancer1982
11-10-2006, 02:06 AM
I do not lack basic social skills...please do not confuse me with my guy friend M--k that I've written about. I talk about intelligent things, I DO flirt, but apparently lately guys have "gotten off" on mocking me and insulting me for no reason at all. I don't get it. I'm a nice person and people tell me this. Maybe I am too nice? And WHY is it that fresh new guys(who don't know anything about my past) are so quickly asking me for rides but not even offering to buy me a fuckin' $4 drink? Do I *look* like I provide free (non-sexual) handouts? Why would I even want to give some guy a ride...a guy that I just met that night through some acquaintences, a guy who tells me to get a drink but won't even be a gentleman to offer me one, a guy who made fun of me for my political affiliation, a guy who didn't show any real interest in me as a person? Oh, he expects a free ride home, but he won't even so much as PRETEND to be interested in me by keeping up conversation...he left me there standing around by myself, to the point that a few people(I met them before) approached me and told me to hang out with them because I looked lonely. That guy made me look like a fool. Does he think I'm stupid or something??? From the looks of it, maybe the reason he wanted a ride from me and not his friend, wasn't just to get a shorter trip home, but maybe also to avoid paying his friend a share of gas money?(possibility)

The guy who asked for the free ride was only one of many guys who I was nice to, yet dissed me. And then the guy who told me I had a big nose...what kind of disrespectful thing is that to say to someone?? I NEVER insult a guy, unless of course he is an obvious hater that profusely insults me first. Even then, sometimes I'm too nice to tell him off if he insults me and I end up looking like a doormat. I'm sick of this.

It isn't just this guy. I've had it happen before, people asking me for a free ride or to buy them something. A few years ago me and a group of people were at the mall, and my friend Tristan ran into his guy friend. There were at least 7 people in our group well over the driving age, and 3 other people in our group that had brought their cars that night. He goes up to me and whines in an insincere voice, "Can I get a ride??? I'll pay you like, two bucks." That really annoyed me. Not to mention that I had a truck that couldn't fit nearly the same amount of people as the other 3 peoples' cars. This annoying bastard ended up following us to the restaurant afterwards, and kept nagging me for a taste of my margarita(and he was well underage) but didn't dare ask my ex for some of his drink. I'm sick of people looking at me as the girl with the big nose who might give a free ride.

And no, I'm NOT dropping my standards. Why should I? So I can go from being the sexless, big-nosed, free ride, to being a sexless, big-nosed, free ride with no standards? I KNOW that other girls are sexually empowered. I KNOW that there are equalities between the genders(although a lot of asshole guys still don't realize that). And if I've gone through a dry spell, the wait better be fucking worth it. I'm not gonna hold out for sex, to end up spreading my legs for some fugly disrespectful schmuck off the streets or something like that(you get my point). Otherwise, what's the point of holding out? (maybe I should go back to considering rhinoplasty)

As far as taking advantage of drunk guys...yes, I DO realize that it is wrong. HOWEVER, the guys that I took this approach on were guys that had either been domestically abusive to my female friends before, or took advantage of one of my female friends before when she was drunk. I figured that it was well deserved...eye for an eye.

Fuck it, maybe I should follow mblank's example and leave this site. I'm not in the mood to be criticized.

mr_punk
11-10-2006, 07:18 AM
getting them drunk or high explicitly to take advantage sexually is quite as shady when girls do it as when guys do it, y'know. just saying.

Why do you have to take advantage of guys? Are you even serious here?c'mon kat and mia that's a bit unfair. beer goggles have been helping men and women hook up since time immemorial. in fact, adam and eve were both thinking about asking the big man about a do-over. he wanted a tall, thin red head. she wanted someone with less hair on his back and more sensitive. but hey, after 6 or 7 drinks. nature took it's course.

I'm a nice person and people tell me this. Maybe I am too nice?maybe. i mean, if you act like a doormat. some guys will treat you like one.

I'm not gonna hold out for sex, to end up spreading my legs for some fugly disrespectful schmuck off the streets or something like that(you get my point).i don't know..i could be wrong, but it seems like you're willing to spread your legs for a disrespectful schmuck just as long as he can feign being respectful long enough for you to get a schtupping.

sander8son
11-10-2006, 09:51 AM
Philly, you're making it to easy for them. People like to relax, flirt, tease each other, debate about disagreements (i.e. politics). Plus, the guy usually prefers to be the seducer in his mind.

Speak for yourself and your own dick. I dont like to work for it. If a chick is semi-attractive and she's all over me, all the better. I dont like to bullshit.


And WHY is it that fresh new guys(who don't know anything about my past) are so quickly asking me for rides but not even offering to buy me a fuckin' $4 drink? Do I *look* like I provide free (non-sexual) handouts?

First time anyone has ever suggested that the driver should be given MORE alcohol. Is this really the best idea?



And no, I'm NOT dropping my standards. Why should I? So I can go from being the sexless, big-nosed, free ride, to being a sexless, big-nosed, free ride with no standards? I KNOW that other girls are sexually empowered. I KNOW that there are equalities between the genders(although a lot of asshole guys still don't realize that). And if I've gone through a dry spell, the wait better be fucking worth it. I'm not gonna hold out for sex, to end up spreading my legs for some fugly disrespectful schmuck off the streets or something like that(you get my point). Otherwise, what's the point of holding out? (maybe I should go back to considering rhinoplasty)

So you can get laid, you just choose not to. And "holding out" implies that you're turning it down. Yah, you're really not getting sympathy here. Listen, I get action for about two weeks every 10 or so months and its usually with a chick whos either fat, ugly, or fat & ugly. Sounds like you're going after the top 3% of guys that EVERY other chick is going after and not considering anyone else.

Theres always craigslist. And i dont just mean w4m or casual encounters. Check out the activities section. find some people with simillar interests to you so you'll have something to bond over other than just sex.

Failing that, casual encounters,or hell, im sure theres some guy in your area on here who would fuck you. You've got avenues to explore. Its impossible to tell online, but maybe its something in your personality...unless you have 6 eyes on your head, then it would be your freak-eyes.

sander8son
11-10-2006, 10:01 AM
although I'm sure one or two of these guys knows perfectly well how to roofie a drink, (Sandy, I'm looking at you), I doubt they're going to share technique.

Posses rufinol.
Drop in drink.

Wow, that was complicated!

Another thought. what about your boy mark or mulk or misk? He needs to get laid. You need to get laid. Fuck I'm a genius. You talk about your male friends/acquaintences. So have you tried any of them? Because truth be told, guys dont want to be friends with women. We either want to fuck them, or have nothing to do with them. so if they're your "friends" that means they're hoping to fuck you or they're gay.

dlabtot
11-10-2006, 10:32 AM
^^ my guess is that whatever the reason other women don't want to get with Mark, is the same reason she doesn't want to get with him.

Again, it comes down to the fact that as much as we (men and women both), want to get laid, we generally are not willing to just do it with anyone.

PhillyDancer1982... it will happen... sure can be hard to wait for though, I agree...

kdogg247
11-10-2006, 11:56 AM
As far as taking advantage of drunk guys...yes, I DO realize that it is wrong. HOWEVER, the guys that I took this approach on were guys that had either been domestically abusive to my female friends before, or took advantage of one of my female friends before when she was drunk. I figured that it was well deserved...eye for an eye.

Yeah. That'll teach em.

kdogg247
11-10-2006, 11:58 AM
Another thought. what about your boy mark or mulk or misk? He needs to get laid. You need to get laid. Fuck I'm a genius. You talk about your male friends/acquaintences. So have you tried any of them? Because truth be told, guys dont want to be friends with women. We either want to fuck them, or have nothing to do with them. so if they're your "friends" that means they're hoping to fuck you or they're gay.


That's what I'm saying. Kill two birds with one stone.

As an alternative, how far is it from where you are to Sandy's house?

mr_punk
11-10-2006, 12:00 PM
Another thought. what about your boy mark or mulk or misk? He needs to get laid. You need to get laid. Fuck I'm a genius. You talk about your male friends/acquaintences. So have you tried any of them? Because truth be told, guys dont want to be friends with women. We either want to fuck them, or have nothing to do with them. so if they're your "friends" that means they're hoping to fuck you or they're gay.who is mark?

kdogg247
11-10-2006, 12:07 PM
Her friend who can't get any women.

http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=75633

PhillyDancer1982
11-10-2006, 12:25 PM
Sorry guys for my overreaction before. I was going through a time where it seemed like all of my ex-guy friends and ex-boyfriends were reaming me out(For example, just the other day I went to visit 3 of my friends who happen to live with my ex-boyfriend. He hollered at me to "go away" even though the majority of the household was fine with me, and he pushed me down the steps of his porch when I tried to stand up for myself. And this is the guy who I used to live with, who pissed me off by taking valium or oxycontin a few times then went on angry rages. Damn hypocrite won't let me visit, after I put up with his shit for so long in MY apartment.). Sometimes I feel so left out in the cold. Bad past experiences have made me very skeptical/untrusting of people. When people are mean/surly/tricking to me, it validates my skepticism of people and really upsets me more than I should.

As a result, I'm going to delete my original post. I shouldn't have even written it on a forum. Some aspects of it were inappropriate and mean.

Maybe I shoulda phrased my thread differently, and more specific. I shoulda posted about why guys seem to expect free rides and freebies without even pretending to like me. Or, about why guys like to play mind games with me, leading me on and telling me that they want to hook up with me, when in reality it's all a big joke. I didn't mean to generalize all guys in that stereotype of "guys are jerks." That was rude of me. As far as my "standards" on guys, I agree with the girl who said that my standards are low enough if I was persuing such jerks. Speaking of my guy friend M--k, he believes that he "can't afford" to have standards when looking at women, but I preach to him all the time about how he should stick to his standards because that shows dignity and self-respect, two things that are favorable when it comes to attracting girls(what girl would want a desperate guy who hates himself? see my point?). And no, I wouldn't go for M--k...that would be just wrong in so many different ways.

Thanks for the advice, guys. Sorry I acted so mean and out-of-character for myself.

mr_punk
11-10-2006, 12:30 PM
Her friend who can't get any women.holy crap! no wonder the guy is missing his scrotum. while she may be trying to help the guy. she really needs to do the guy a favor by taking his balls out of her purse.

As a result, I'm going to delete my original post. I shouldn't have even written it on a forum. Some aspects of it were inappropriate and mean.i wouldn't worry about it. inappropriate and mean is our middle name.

PhillyDancer1982
11-10-2006, 12:51 PM
In response to the person who pointed out that it wouldn't make sense for that kid to buy me a drink, if designated drivers aren't supposed to be drinking:
1.) I didn't really care about the drink itself; It was more the principle of it, that a good gentleman will offer a girl who's hanging out with him a drink. To nag a girl he just met for a ride home, along with occasionally mocking her, and to tell her "go get a drink" without offering one, is just rude and juvenile. And I'm not being sexist...Because when I drag M--k to the bar, I even offer to buy him a drink or two as courtesy for hanging with me! Besides, one drink in a few hours time won't impair my driving skills anyway.
2.) On the other hand, maybe that was one of the reasons why that kid wouldn't buy me a drink...maybe he was hoping that if I had to buy my own drinks, that I wouldn't drink as much, and then I'd be in better shape to drive him home(but then again, why would he tell me "get a drink"?). Perhaps he cared more about a shorter free ride home, than my own enjoyment?

But I'm getting off track here. Here's a summary of what I REALLY want from guys/people in general:
1. people to stop viewing me as a free ride, and to start viewing me the same way they would a normal person
2. people to give me respect, and not play mind games with me for their own humor
3. people to view me as intelligent, because after all I talk about intelligent topics such as the economy or urban development or politics (if they followed this one, I think I'd see a drastic decrease in the mind games as described in #2)

The whole sexual attraction thing is a plus too, but I realized that most of my anger comes more from the idea that I feel generally disrespected or played over by these people. I guess I'll start conquering that problem by continuing to stand up for myself, as I eventually did to some of those people(it took until the time that I was leaving them, but hey better late than never); to expect more respect from guys, and if I'm not given it, to walk away from them early on, even if they happen to be "cute" or "fuckable"; to be straightforward about who I am and what I'm about, as opposed to acting all demure and uptight and expecting guys to figure out that I'm interested; to not let assholes earlier in the night bring down my mood when I go approach/run into other people. Does that sound a little more constructive? Thanks again.

PhillyDancer1982
11-10-2006, 12:55 PM
i wouldn't worry about it. inappropriate and mean is our middle name.

Yeah I know, but Katrine was right when she said that I shouldn't vent about my problems and expect sympathy. I was more interested in getting brutally honest feedback from the men here, than sympathy/coddling, but she does have a point anyway. It was wrong of me to start this thread. And you know what? I should stop writing about M--k too because for a while, I was beating the M--k topic like a dead horse. I should just let M--k be and figure himself out on his own, as I've (hopefully) started to do for myself(see my above post).

sander8son
11-10-2006, 01:24 PM
I still don't get why the mystical M--k is un-fuckable in your eyes. Yet you can't grasp why he can't get laid by other women. And how two people with the assumed propper equipment who are both deserate for the pleasure provided by the others gender, and who are comfortable and friendly with each other can't figure out how to help each other.

Maybe you and M--k should hang out one night unplugging and plugging back in appliances. See if it creates a spark.

sander8son
11-10-2006, 01:28 PM
As an alternative, how far is it from where you are to Sandy's house?

HAHAH, what am I, the reigning whore of SW?

I think 3 miles to fuck me is too far to travel for a sub-par lay. Unless it was for humour purposes, "OMG, you are never going to believe how terrible the sex I had last night was! He dissatisfied me in ways I never dreamed imaginable!"

But thanks for the nomination ;)

dlabtot
11-10-2006, 01:45 PM
I still don't get why the mystical M--k is un-fuckable in your eyes. Yet you can't grasp why he can't get laid by other women. And how two people with the assumed propper equipment who are both deserate for the pleasure provided by the others gender, and who are comfortable and friendly with each other can't figure out how to help each other.

Maybe you and M--k should hang out one night unplugging and plugging back in appliances. See if it creates a spark.

He must be one of those 'Nice Guys (http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=76793)' we've heard about.

kdogg247
11-10-2006, 03:00 PM
HAHAH, what am I, the reigning whore of SW?

Yes.


But thanks for the nomination ;)


No problem. If any fine girls in my area of the country post that they can't get any, fell free to send them my way.

lunchbox
11-10-2006, 03:48 PM
Sandy, wtf? You say it like it's a bad thing to be the reigning whore. IRL, you'd hit it and not think twice...

Speaking of sex, and had a weird dream last night... I was having crazy sex with the Indian chick from ER and Bend it like Beckham. I finish Russian, makes a huge mess, mascara running, gobs in the hair, etc. etc. It was the kind of climax that you have in a dream that makes you think it's time for a new set of sheets. Right after my big finale. I wake up, and my wife is standing over me with two detectives, and they start interrogating me over the dream I just had. "Did you have a wet dream sir? Who were you with in the dream? What did you do? Do you mind if we check your crotch sir?" Then I snapped out of it, and woke up for real, checked the crotch, all was well with the world, and I went back to sleep.

What does that have to do with speaking about sex? My dreams are the only place I can get laid...

sander8son
11-10-2006, 03:59 PM
What does that have to do with speaking about sex? My dreams are the only place I can get laid...

I wish i could dream.... But great story.

xdamage
11-10-2006, 04:14 PM
Hmm, I'm at a loss here. I honestly am having trouble making sense of your situation here Philly, and don't take that as a criticism, just that something doesn't add up for me.

Now my initial reaction is that Kat is basically right in that you're making it too easy for them, and the chat, and teasing, etc., all are important, but still I'd think you'd meet some opportunists. You know, guys that want to just have sex for sex, no complications, just kinky dirty screwing and play the sake of it. If that's what you're looking for (but for some reason I'm having trouble making sense of what you're looking for).

I don't necessarily think you are wrong in starting the thread though. One thing about the blue side is you can pretty much raise any topic and get some honest feedback (just not necessarily sympathetic feedback ;))


BTW, I've lived near philly for 10 years, and still haven't visited any clubs. I'm pretty much a Vegas SC addict, although one of these days I need to go back to Texas and visit Houston again }:D


Seriously though post whatever you want on the blue side. The guys just don't care, although they can be brutally honest (or just brutal!) at times.

PhillyDancer1982
11-10-2006, 04:34 PM
Oh I'm all about brutal honesty.

Basically what I originally posted about, is not as important as the big picture...I sometimes/often feel that guys disrespect me. What I'm referring to, is when I meet a group of guys at the bar(friends of a friend) and for example, one of them will be so quick to ask for a free ride home, but won't even so much as buy me a drink or talk to me consistently. He will snub me for 5mins or so leaving me standing around by myself like a "loner," or he'll get up without notification to go get him and his friends a round of drinks and leave me out completely...yet 5mins later, he'll come back to remind me that he wants a free ride home. That is just mean. I don't want guys viewing me the same way they would some taxi driver...but hey, even *real* taxi drivers get paid! This hasn't just happened with this particular guy at the bar the other night...it has happened with many of my guy friends and even other guys that I had just met. *I'm* always the person people ask for free rides, borrowing money from, etc. and I wonder why.

Do I come off looking real innocent and gullible? If I do, should I play up my experiences living alone in ghetto North Philly, my past experiences with drug use, etc?...so that they do not view me as this gullible little girl? Do they approach me for freebies because they can tell that I'm sexually attracted to them and think they can trick me into thinking that I will "get some" just so they can get freebies?

The other thing that I noticed, is guys who will lie and act like they are interested in me sexually, but then either ditch me or suddenly stop talking to me or tell me that they are not interested...after they told me that they want to hang out with me alone later on. Why do people have to play mind games and be disrespectful?

But I kinda already figured things out on my own after some hard thinking and talking to close friends. I need to start acting more blunt and straightforward. When guys try to use me for a ride while treating me like shit, or play some game where they pretend to be interested in me then bounce...I should stand up for myself and tell them off, as I've started to do. I should also leave and go hang out with a different scene, to avoid running into the same people or people of the same "type." Maybe if I'm not so nice to people who I know are kinda jerks, then I won't feel so bad when I get rejected/disrespected. I'm gonna start acting differently and not appearing to be so over-the-top nice.

xdamage
11-10-2006, 04:58 PM
Oh I'm all about brutal honesty.

Sure, easier to know where we really stand.



Basically what I originally posted about, is not as important as the big picture...I sometimes/often feel that guys disrespect me. What I'm referring to, is when I meet a group of guys at the bar(friends of a friend) and for example, one of them will be so quick to ask for a free ride home, but won't even so much as buy me a drink or talk to me consistently.


Maybe this is the cool thing to do now. I don't know. It would seem common courtesy to show some appreciation.



He will snub me for 5mins or so leaving me standing around by myself like a "loner," or he'll get up without notification to go get him and his friends a round of drinks and leave me out completely...yet 5mins later, he'll come back to remind me that he wants a free ride home. That is just mean.


Okay I get the picture.



I don't want guys viewing me the same way they would some taxi driver...but hey, even *real* taxi drivers get paid! This hasn't just happened with this particular guy at the bar the other night...it has happened with many of my guy friends and even other guys that I had just met. *I'm* always the person people ask for free rides, borrowing money from, etc. and I wonder why.


Don't know. It might just be your personality. It's been my observation is that there is a definite personality type that other's perceive as someone who will do things for others. On the flip side, if you're that type, well you're going to have to learn to express yourself and learn to say no and do it without feeling guilty.



Do I come off looking real innocent and gullible?


Maybe. It's not necessarily a bad set of traits, but it can be if you surround yourself with types who are looking for innocent guillable types to use.



Do they approach me for freebies because they can tell that I'm sexually attracted to them and think they can trick me into thinking that I will "get some" just so they can get freebies?


That seems unlikely - the male brain doesn't usually work that way.



The other thing that I noticed, is guys who will lie and act like they are interested in me sexually, but then either ditch me or suddenly stop talking to me or tell me that they are not interested...after they told me that they want to hang out with me alone later on. Why do people have to play mind games and be disrespectful?


Don't know. The way you describe it doesn't completely add up for me. Without coming across as a voyeur, without details I can't tell if you are on to something, or just misinterpreting the situation.



But I kinda already figured things out on my own after some hard thinking and talking to close friends. I need to start acting more blunt and straightforward.

It does sound like you need to learn to become more self defensive.

Katrine
11-10-2006, 08:15 PM
Honey, perhaps its the people you are hanging out with? They just seem pretty lame. I mean, who makes such a big effort to snag a free ride if they can't afford a cab? OR, perhaps this guy was broke and couldn't afford to buy you a drink OR him a cab? Then he's just a loser (shutup Sandy)

Look, I actually CAN empathize with you now that I'
ve read more. I was thrown down a flight of stairs by a boyfriend just because he was tired of me. Then he alienated me from all of our mutual friends. I was all alone, homeless, bruised and robbed, in a different country, and it all could have been avoided had he not been a sadistic bastard.

Read my, TR from a few weeks ago. I had a great night with a guy, and he went psycho on me, threatened to kick my ass if I didn't leave. Then he sent me text messages telling me he wished I would get a DWI.

Some ppl are just fucktards, but we have to think positive, otherwise there is no clear picture of the future. Me, I go back and forth.

Reading more into your thread, I actually see a lot of myself in you. I was also smart, yet treated like a "kid sister" by the guys when I was younger. I had a couple of m-k's as friends too. Believe me, he's in love with you. But if you fuck him, he'll only give you guilt and grief about it, let him learn on his own......

Just give it some time. Develop some new decent friends. Have you tried that speed-dating thing? I've been dying to go to one. My girls and I are going to try it. You get to decide who you want to fuck in 30 seconds or so, sweet.

Good luck, PM me if you want to talk about this privately....

PhillyDancer1982
11-10-2006, 09:26 PM
Thanks for the great advice, Katrine. I agree, those guys were very lame. I had just met them that night...they weren't friends. But yeah, I'm gonna start doing as you and others have advised, by snubbing all of the not-nice people(random bastards I encounter at bars, my ex-boyfriend who kicked me outta his house the other day when I visited, Metrosexual Rich, etc.) and keeping around all the good people(M--k and others). I'm going to start walking away with my nose in the air from the bad people in the middle of their sentences/insults...just as me and other dancers do when we encounter asinine customers at the strip club. I just hope that I don't grow too skeptical of the nice people...for example, there was this one guy who I used to make fun of and talk shit about. Turns out that he was actually a nicer guy that I'd thought. The reason I had even talked shit about him before, was because I had him pinned as a shallow "womanizer" who only liked me for my new boobs(wouldn't doubt it's at least part true for his brother or a few of his friends, though...but he's a different person than them). But hopefully I will try to balance things out.

sander8son
11-10-2006, 10:30 PM
Then he's just a loser (shutup Sandy)

LOL, what the fuck was that for? Lick my taint, bitch! }:D

xdamage
11-10-2006, 11:57 PM
I was thrown down a flight of stairs by a boyfriend just because he was tired of me. Then he alienated me from all of our mutual friends. I was all alone, homeless, bruised and robbed, in a different country, and it all could have been avoided had he not been a sadistic bastard.


There are some real fuckers out there.

But it does seem that some women are attracted to a higher percentage of fucktards then average. And I'm not saying that's you, or PhillyD. I don't know either of your situations well enough, just a generalized observation that when a women is repeatedly drawn to the assholes, it won't stop until she really wants it stop, which means she has to make some real changes to herself (step #1 being stop trying to find what she is missing in another person and learn how to find it within herself). Unfortunately the bad boy/girl can be thrilling/fun/a-chemical-rush, and one can addicted to the thrill no matter how bad it is for you in the long run.

mr_punk
11-11-2006, 12:20 AM
Unfortunately the bad boy/girl can be thrilling/fun/a-chemical-rush, and one can addicted to the thrill no matter how bad it is for you in the long run.LOL..tell me about it. it's like a roller coaster ride, but what goes up and peaks at an intense, supersonic speed of passion. eventually, comes crashing down to engulf both passengers in a horrific ball of flame and carnage. but hey, i turned over a new leaf...maybe.

PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 01:38 PM
"Chief Barley: well, itís not hard to score if youíre a chick. there are a lot of guys who will hump anything that moves. fucking a lot if youíre a chick just makes you a slut."

THIS is why I said what I said earlier on the forum. What I said, is that I felt like a "disgrace to women" if I couldn't find someone who wanted to sleep with me, because it was commonly accepted that women had an easier time getting some than men on average do. I do NOT believe that this is true. I've been going around preaching to people for YEARS about how sexually, men = women; about how either both genders should be called "sluts," or neither gender at all; about how NOT all men are "dogs" that will fuck all the time; and that NOT all women can get sex anytime they want.

For example, I consider myself to be more attractive than average, smarter than average, and make more money than the average 24-yr-old(lol only thanks to dancing)...I also am very open about sex, almost to the point of being "promiscuous"...yet I've gone through "dry spells"(as I frustratingly described earlier) where guys just don't want to fuck me. Yeah, I go for good-looking guys in a certain age range(but it is broad; anywhere from 18-34), but overall my standards are not very picky. So for some asshole like Chief-I'm-a-fatass-Barley to say that it's not a big feat to get laid, after I've gone through tons of rejections, makes me feel like a total loser and a disgrace to women. I try to explain to guys my refutes to the stereotypes, that NOT all men are horny dogs willing to give it up, and that NOT all pretty women can get laid whenever they want, and all I get in response is laughter AT me, and ridicule.

Bottom line? When I said that I felt like a "disgrace to women" before for not finding someone, I meant that more in sarcastic mockery of that stereotype that guys always say. I didn't really mean it. I mostly said it because if I TOLD a sexist guy(such as Chief Barley) that I couldn't get it, then he would probably laugh at me and tell me that I was a disgrace if I couldn't get something that ALL women must be able to get. Know what? I'm gonna start a separate thread on this topic.

Jenny
11-11-2006, 01:52 PM
^^^
Well I think that seems obviously true. Contrary to popular opinion is the world is, in fact, not rife with guys dying to have no strings sex. That is not, in my experience, every guy's dream. Most guys really, really want to have strings on you. If you decline to be stringed you tend to get treated like a whore (and I don't mean in a cute "take it all, you dirty whore" kind of way). That's what I mean when I say guys don't know how to have a one night stand.

Further, contrary to popular mythology, men are really intimidated by sexually aggressive women. I mean, not if they already know you, but picking up a guy in a bar saying "Look, I don't really want to get to know you, I would really just like to fuck you in the washroom and then go our separate ways" or a general equivalent is ineffective because they have no idea how to understand it.

So it's not you. It's just the way guys understand the whole ritual of the pickup.

xdamage
11-11-2006, 03:01 PM
...but picking up a guy in a bar saying "Look, I don't really want to get to know you, I would really just like to fuck you in the washroom and then go our separate ways" or a general equivalent is ineffective because they have no idea how to understand it.

Well, this also sounds like another popular, but unproven stereotype. I don't know that it's backed by anything remotely like proof (of course that's the beauty of stereotypes, proof is not required). Really though to provie it you'd have to try it, and you'd have to do this fairly often to come up with anything that is statistically significant. And since the results would depend on how the girl looks, it would have to be tested with multiple girls.

How many girls do you know that have actually done anything remotely scientific to prove this out?

Stereotypes are about statistical odds, not absolutes. Nothing that happens once or even a few times proves or disproves a stereotype. Which isn't to say there is never something to stereotypes, but they are rarely proven.

But if we're talking stereotypes, my belief is that you've misread the stereotype. My belief is that the stereotypical guy will fuck a good looking promiscuous woman, but he won't necessarily marry or settle down with a woman he perceives as promiscuous. Casual sex isn't the issue to getting laid once. The key issue is that a promiscuous partner is harder to trust to not screw around with other people, possibly end up pregnant or impregnating someone else, which is a hell of a mess for someone in a married/committed relationship.

p.s. all that said, there may well be something to the idea that a lot of guys are still intimidated by a sexually aggressive woman, so much so that they will avoid a one nighter, but don't confuse that stereotype with the stereotype (probably a true one) that men are less likely to settle down with a sexually aggressive woman. A one nighter and a long term relationship are very different things in a males mind.

p.s.s. it's a large population, and not all guys are looking for one nighters, which may make that type of guy interesting to a woman because he is a challenge or has promise as a long term partner. If a sexually aggressive woman is most often hitting on guys who are more interested in women that he thinks would make a good long term mate, she is going to end up being rejected more often the she would be if she chased guys that are not interested in long term relationships. In other words, a big variable in this stereotype is dependent on the type of guy the woman pursues.

Jenny
11-11-2006, 03:19 PM
X
I think it was obvious that I was speaking anecdotally, and was not about to offer statistical evidence.
It is not a stereotype. A stereotype is an idea common within a group about members of another group. The stereotype is the opposite (that men will fuck anything that moves, that men have no real standards and don't really make choices, that all men really want is no strings sex). This is just a personal belief based on my anecdotal experience (that men in fact do like to exercise some degree of choice and don't just arbitrarily mount the nearest available pussy, and that men are generally just as or more interested in relationships as women, and that men don't generally find sexually aggressive women any more appealing that women would generally find such men).
I'm not very likely to accept your anecdotal experience over my own, am I? So your beliefs and experience in the matter and other, only tenuously related matters, are not particularly potent.

xdamage
11-11-2006, 03:37 PM
This is just a personal belief based on my anecdotal experience (that men in fact do like to exercise some degree of choice and don't just arbitrarily mount the nearest available pussy, and that men are generally just as or more interested in relationships as women, and that men don't generally find sexually aggressive women any more appealing that women would generally find such men).


Agreed, although my point in the final p.s.s. is that the biggest factor in shaping your experiences is you. So your anecdotal experiences with men have to do more with the type of men you seek out then men as a whole.

But you are correct (from my experience too) there are a lot of men who are interested in long term relationships versus casual sex. Their behaviors around women are quite different from guys who are looking for one nighters.

OTOH, it also actually makes sense that guys (or girls) looking for a long term partner vs a casual encounter are weighing in the back of their minds, is this potential partner someone I can trust to be faithful over the long run?

Whether we are talking about a woman who ends up pregnant with another man's child, or a man who ends up impregnating another woman, either of these scenerios end up being majorly fucked up for a couple looking for a long term relationship and children of their own. Just in practical terms, a pregnancy outside of the relationship is expensive and adds significant complications.

Put another way, promiscuity isn't just frowned on because it's "bad" - it's frowned on because there are (or use to be) practical consequences. What's important to remember is that cheap, reliabile, safe birth control is a relatively new thing on the historical scene. But our genes and subsequent social beliefs have formed over millions of years before these things existed. Still, in much of the world today, including the United States, unwanted pregnancy remains a problem.

Because of birth control, a lot has changed. Casual sex can be safe, and relatively low risk, but our genes still tell us that a promiscuous sex partner is more likely (statistically) to cheat, and impregnate or become pregnate with someone elses child then a partner that shows restraint. For someone interested in a long term partner, promiscuity is often a negative factor for practical reasons.

PhillyDancer1982
11-11-2006, 03:44 PM
Someone wrote that guys get intimidated by girls who are too sexually forward and make it obvious that they only want a one-nighter, and that it confuses them. OK here's the deal with my own experience. A few years ago, I was interested in a few guys at this local hangout place...interested in them sexually, but NOT for a relationship. I told this guy "Keith Montgomery" that I thought his friend "Stan Olshefski" was "hot," then Keith went and twisted my words around by telling Stan that I "liked him." Stan and Keith wrongly assumed that I wanted a relationship or something like that, and then Stan started avoiding me cold-turkey afterwards. Later when I was talking to Keith on the phone, I asked him why Stan was avoiding me and he confirmed this for me. He also made it sound like I did something "wrong" by "liking" Stan, as if it was a deliberate mean action. I refuted that by saying that I was NOT interested in dating/relationships, just hook-ups, but Keith didn't believe this. I think the reason they thought I was interested in dating or something more than a one-night stand, was because I tend to look innocent/young for my age, and the way I act in public is not typical for someone "promiscuous." People often have a hard time believing my sexual history, because they always assume that I'm this conservative little flower.

Point is, the reason Stan and Keith were intimidated by me was because they DID think that I wanted something more than a one-night stand, and they did not want a girl who would be clingy like that. They didn't want to associate with some clingy girl who would cry that she wanted him to be her boyfriend. Their judgment was wrong...but I'm just saying...guys can also get intimidated by the thought of relationships because they want to avoid the excess baggage that comes with relationships/dating.

xdamage
11-11-2006, 03:52 PM
Point is, the reason Stan and Keith were intimidated by me was because they DID think that I wanted something more than a one-night stand, and they did not want a girl who would be clingy like that. They didn't want to associate with some clingy girl who would cry that she wanted him to be her boyfriend. Their judgment was wrong...but I'm just saying...guys can also get intimidated by the thought of relationships because they want to avoid the excess baggage that comes with relationships/dating.

I'd agree with that. Not everyone is looking for a long term relationship. And for someone looking for one night stands, a clingy/wanting/needy partner is the last thing they want.

But I do think you'll find some guys will tend to be looking more for a long term relationship, while others will tend to be looking more for one nighters. Their behaviors are very different. What doesn't work though is to try to convert a guy (or girl) from the type that is looking for a one nighter into the type that is looking for a long term relationship, or vice versa, although.... some people are sub-conconsciosly addicted to the challenge of trying to do so, and so tend to experience nothing but a long string of failed relationships.

Katrine
11-11-2006, 04:04 PM
How many girls do you know that have actually done anything remotely scientific to prove this out?

:biting:
Sure I have. I asked a hot waiter a few weeks ago tot come into the bathroom at me when I was at a real estate investors convention dinner. I was joking around of course, but it wasn't the first time.

X, can you for one moment concede that maybe you've been out of the game too long and don't know wtf you're talking about?



=x] But it does seem that some women are attracted to a higher percentage of fucktards then average.

Possibly. I was just stating two bad examples in my history. I've dated lots of nice, decent guys. Hell, I've just dated and fucked so many guys, I've encountered about every personality type that exsists ,lol....

Jenny
11-11-2006, 04:31 PM
Agreed, although my point in the final p.s.s. is that the biggest factor in shaping your experiences is you.
Yes, however that is such a universal given that it is not particularly helpful to point it out unless it is being countered with some firm data. I.e. - it might be a helpful elucidation about why my experience differs from a provable standard. It is not particularly valuable as showing why my experience might differ from a your hypothetical experience. On the other hand, my personal anecdotal experience COULD be useful in refuting an unproven stereotype.

But you are correct (from my experience too)
Oh, thank you. If YOUR experience backs it up, it must be true. Because after all, I'm just a girl, and I'm a stripper so my perceptions of the world are worthless.

Philly - I have no doubt that not all men actively want serious relationships; merely that many more do than the current stereotype would suggest, and that men are generally (generally, mind you) less interested in picking up a one night stand than actually meeting someone they like. In terms of sexual aggressiveness - I don't mean aggressiveness in the act of sex, but aggressively picking up sexual partners.

Katrine - you're missing the point entirely. It is much more comfortable for us all if we can arrange to have abusive behaviour levelled at you designated as YOUR fault, because then it is unlikely to be a social problem related to male dominance. So, you know, next time you get hurled down some stairs, take some time and understand that getting hurled down the stairs doesn't happen to all of us, so it is obviously your fault, think about what YOU have done to cause the situation, and for god's sake don't do it again, and stop blaming men for your problems. Guys don't like that. You're never going to meet a good man if you keep pulling this shit.

xdamage
11-11-2006, 04:42 PM
:biting:
Sure I have. I asked a hot waiter a few weeks ago tot come into the bathroom at me when I was at a real estate investors convention dinner. I was joking around of course, but it wasn't the first time.


You were joking? Who in that situation wouldn't have seriously gone through with it then? The guy or you? Guys really can pick up when you are joking, we are not that dense. If you weren't dead on serious of course he is going to interpret as not serious.




X, can you for one moment concede that maybe you've been out of the game too long and don't know wtf you're talking about?


Before I answer, see my next point...



Possibly. I was just stating two bad examples in my history. I've dated lots of nice, decent guys. Hell, I've just dated and fucked so many guys, I've encountered about every personality type that exsists ,lol....

Right, but you had an opportunity to mention this very BIG part of the picture ("I've dated LOTS of decent guys") when you threw out the two negative experiences, but by neglecting to mention the positives, and focusing on the two negative cases only, you fed into PhillyD's need for confirmation that guys suck, and the problem must be with the guys, and couldn't possibly be with her own choices or actions. While that was probably comforting for her I'm sure, it won't lead to her changing her long term actions in a way that makes her happy.

Second, I am a guy. You are not. I've been in the guy picture for my whole life. You've been observing it as a female. As a female, not a male, it's up to you to decide for yourself, if you really understand what makes guys tick, or if you've been seeing it through female colored lenses.

But as I said before, and I'll say it again, I do have a bias or belief that a lot of the pinkies that visit the blue site have a strong underlying "men suck" theme to their posts, and while it's a great way to avoid having to look at themselves or change themselves, it also means I don't entirely trust a lot of the observations about men to be objective. You're welcome to change my mind about that of course.

All that said, you are of course correct that I've been out of the game a long time, but I don't believe that the fundamentals of what make men and women tick has changed that much in a 15years or so. I do buy though that a very sexually aggressive woman could throw a guy off his feet, but if the guy is really looking for a one night stand, he is not going to say no. OTOH, if the guy is fundamentally looking for a long term partner, it's not at all surprising to me that he says no, for reasons that I've already explained.

xdamage
11-11-2006, 04:52 PM
Oh, thank you. If YOUR experience backs it up, it must be true. Because after all, I'm just a girl, and I'm a stripper so my perceptions of the world are worthless.


You're being argumentative, when I'm 90% agreeing with you. I never said your perceptions were worthless, just biased. Also I never mentioned "I'm a stripper" - the need to paint it all black or all white sucks - please stop doing that!

I'm giving you some insight from the point of view of a male, and insight that is free of a men suck bias (although I may have some females suck bias, I really do try to curb that because I don't believe it or feel it). Take it as you like.



Philly - I have no doubt that not all men actively want serious relationships; merely that many more do than the current stereotype would suggest


Like I said before, I agree.




Katrine - you're missing the point entirely. It is much more comfortable for us all if we can arrange to have abusive behaviour levelled at you designated as YOUR fault, because then it is unlikely to be a social problem related to male dominance. So, you know, next time you get hurled down some stairs, take some time and understand that getting hurled down the stairs doesn't happen to all of us, so it is obviously your fault, think about what YOU have done to cause the situation, and for god's sake don't do it again, and stop blaming men for your problems. Guys don't like that. You're never going to meet a good man if you keep pulling this shit.

Like I said, the pinkies that post on this sight, this would include you Jenny, have such an overwhelming need to argue that "men suck" that you can't help but twist this into "because then it is unlikely to be a social problem related to male dominance" and so on.

But obviously you didn't read her message of "I was just stating two bad examples in my history. I've dated lots of nice, decent guys. " So two bad examples out of many nice, decent guy cases, but then you don't want to read that part because it doesn't align with your "men suck" bias.

And honestly Jenny, your bias is so strong that it's really hard to take your observations seriously without my first looking for the "men suck" message in your message. Is there a word for women that hate men?

Jenny
11-11-2006, 05:05 PM
I'm giving you some insight from the point of view of a male,
Well gosh. I imagine that your experience as a male is much less specific and more generally true than my experience WITH males. I mean, considering that you are ready to dismiss my experience because it could possibly privilege certain types of guys, the experience of one exact guy should be much more universally true... oh wait. That doesn't really follow particularly well, does it?


and insight that is free of a men suck bias (although I may have some females suck bias, I really do try to curb that because I don't believe it or feel it). Take it as you like.
Well, seeing as you said below that you feel very safe in dismissing my opinion because you have pre-determined that I a) have a such a bias and b) my bias overwhelms my intelligence and c) my bias is not in fact based on any social/cultural truths, I would suggest that you are not curbing it particularly well. Just my suggestion.


Like I said before, I agree.
Well, wasn't really contradicting you or even aimed at you. So your agreement, whether it was given before or not is purely ancillary.


Like I said, the pinkies that post on this sight, this would include you Jenny, have such an overwhelming need to argue that "men suck" that you can't help but twist this into "because then it is unlikely to be a social problem related to male dominance" and so on.
Gosh. I think it's cute how you claim that your pre-suppositions and biases are simply the neutral ground. Oh wait. I don't actually think that is cute at all. My bad.


But obviously you didn't read her message of "I was just stating two bad examples in my history. I've dated lots of nice, decent guys. " So two bad examples out of many nice, decent guy cases, but then you don't want to read that part because it doesn't align with your "men suck" bias.
Of course I read that. She was saying that she has dated nice men and that hence the abuse levelled at her was not her fault; because obviously if she had not dated nice men it would be. So - women can experience multiple abusive partners and have the abuse be their fault, or women can experience few abusive partners and acknowledge that abuse is just an aberration brought on by their own poor judgement. Comfortable in that circle, honey?


And honestly Jenny, your bias is so strong that it's really hard to take your observations seriously without my first looking for the "men suck" message in your message. Is there a word for women that hate men?
I believe that you are very comfortable dismissing everything I say before reading it, if that is what you are trying to tell me. Honey, I don't like you. That has nothing to do with men in general. Is there a word for men who insist that women who disagree with them and don't really respect their opinions just hate all men?

There is. In case you're wondering.

sander8son
11-11-2006, 05:09 PM
ok, i'm getting bored with this thread.

as far as men being affraid of sexually aggressive women... I'm only affraid of UNattractive sexually aggressive women. If she's hot/semi-attractive, I'm all for it. With regards to one night stands vs. LTR. isn't there middle ground? I'm not a relationship guy. But I'm not much of a ONS guy. If its a one night stand, so be it. But my preference is always to have someone who you occaisonally see casually. Basically, fuckbuddy's is my preference, but i settle for the occaisonal ONS :-P

xdamage
11-11-2006, 05:27 PM
Well, wasn't really contradicting you or even aimed at you. So your agreement, whether it was given before or not is purely ancillary.


You even find ways to say "men suck" when you agree ;) How cute :-X



I don't actually think that is cute at all. My bad.


I don't find the men suck bias cute at all either. At best it's tiresome. At worst I want to scream, if you'd spend just 5% of the time looking at yourself vs finding faults in men, the world would be a much better place, but hey, where would all the fun go then?



Of course I read that. She was saying that she has dated nice men and that hence the abuse levelled at her was not her fault; because obviously if she had not dated nice men it would be. So - women can experience multiple abusive partners and have the abuse be their fault, or women can experience few abusive partners and acknowledge that abuse is just an aberration brought on by their own poor judgement. Comfortable in that circle, honey?


Seriously, when it comes to abuse, it's no joking matter. There are abusive men out there, as well as abusive women. They don't necessarily represent the norm in this country, though in some they still do. And there is no doubt in my mind that in societies past (and still present) there are cultures where men abuse women.

Fortunately, and in part thanks to men (jab), we live in a modern culture where abuse is legally not tolerated and we can hope slowly but surely that world-wide our views that women are equals spreads.

That said, there are occassionally people that, because they are pretty fucked up themselves, end up seeking out abusive partners, or go out of their way to entice their partners to abuse them. That is to say, not all abuse is strictly black and white, all or nothing, never about the abused.

I don't know Kat well enough to say that she is the abberation that seeks out abusive partners, or the norm that seeks out healty relationships, and just had some bad luck. Lacking that knowledge, I assume she seeks out healthy relationships.

But the way I read her follow up post, she had some bad luck with a small percentage of the men she has dated. There is something for her to learn there, how to pick up on the type of men who abuse before she becomes involved but ultimately the bottom line is the men that abuse her suck, and if I could beat the crap out of them for her it would make me feel good to do so, just to give them a sense of how fucked up it is. And I'm sure a lot of guys in this country feel the same way when they read something like that.





There is. In case you're wondering.

I already know it, I was making a joke of sorts.

xdamage
11-11-2006, 05:30 PM
With regards to one night stands vs. LTR. isn't there middle ground? I'm not a relationship guy. But I'm not much of a ONS guy. If its a one night stand, so be it. But my preference is always to have someone who you occaisonally see casually. Basically, fuckbuddy's is my preference, but i settle for the occaisonal ONS :-P

Yea, there is a middle ground in theory, but making it work in practice is another matter. It's all too easy for the people to get involved emotionally when they start having sex semi-regularly, and then it becomes serious,, and one or the other partner wants to turn into something exclusive.