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Lysondra
11-18-2006, 02:54 PM
Yeah, me too... I never took the time to read it until I posted it. I just looked stuff up when she mentioned it.

Of course, 99% of these are prostitute terms. :/

tampafldancer
11-18-2006, 03:24 PM
i consider an extra a handjob, blowjob, fucking, fingering, or anything in the pants. at my club, boob and ass grabbing is standard, so if you don't do it then you pretty much make nothing. that is the farthest i will ever go, i dont let guys suck on my tits or touch my pussy or anything that would be unsanitary/gross. so i dont consider myself an extras girl. if you go farther than the other girls do and give a guy a blowjob or let him finger you for example, then the guys will start to think they can get action from all the strippers and non-extra girls like me have to deal with a guy jamming his finger in us or whipping his dick out. OR, we can't sell any dances because the guys give us all that annoying bullshit like "what am i going to get for my $20?". so if you do extras then you are making work very hard for all the other dancers. plus it is illegal and the club could get in trouble or you could face prostitution charges which would be embarassing and terrible to have on your record. the bottom line is that guys usually want more bang for their buck, so to sell a clean dance requires flirting skills and good hustling. or you could go the easy route and just give extras, but if you can make a good amount of money without doing extras then why put yourself at risk?

then in your defination i am not an extras girl as far as bj, hj sex etc

But i am high contact, fuck...this is tampa!

sassfire
11-18-2006, 03:35 PM
If you do more than a lap dance. A dance with touching you are doing extras. Anythng more you are a prostitute.

cameronfl
11-18-2006, 06:22 PM
If you do more than a lap dance. A dance with touching you are doing extras. Anythng more you are a prostitute.
That may be extra in your club, but it is not extra if touching is normal and allowed. Then it is normal..not extra. Most of us consider "extra" something that is NOT allowed by club or by law..therefore by doing it the "extras" girl is doing MORE than everyone else. If only one girl is allowing touching(because it is not allowed) then she is doing "extra" ....however if touching is a normal part of a lapdance and all girls are doing it..then it isnt extra...make sense?

Here...where high contact is normal,allowed and expected..."extra" would be prostitution. So a prostitute and an extras girl are one in the same in my area.

sunnie
11-18-2006, 06:24 PM
ACK, I just realized her post is friends only....

Written by starlet_harlot on livejournal, not by me, no credit, thank you.




This was an excellent glossary...my thanks to starlet_harlot.

Damia
11-18-2006, 10:28 PM
Okay, okay. I see that no matter what, what I am thinking in terms of extras is bascially prostitution.

I see now that I am better off trying to work in high mileage club.

It took me from when I first discovered this site to grow some balls and ask abou this. I am glad at the turnout. Any advice is appreciated.

cameronfl
11-19-2006, 10:20 AM
^^ so are you planning to be an extras girl? I'm not sure what deciding to work in a high miliage club means for you....

DylanAngel
11-19-2006, 10:27 AM
You are not being clear, so let me help you. High mileage means grinding and touching. Is this what you are planning to do rather than prostitution?

Damia
11-19-2006, 12:51 PM
Yep touching and grinding is all i'm going to do.

cameronfl
11-19-2006, 02:43 PM
^^ good for you!

DylanAngel
11-19-2006, 02:44 PM
Just take care of yourself emotionally. You said you used to be a prostitute, but there are times when this job can make you feel just like that, but with less money.

Tart
11-19-2006, 03:18 PM
^ Yep.

And i wouldnt tell anybody you work with your past ..AT ALL. not that you would but just to be safe..since you are new to this., its not a good idea no matter how nice the other chick maybe.

At least you thought this out enough to go to a club that is accepting of this and not just any ole club and not give a fuck and just do it and piss everyone off.

evan_essence
11-19-2006, 06:49 PM
I suspect it's best to forget the term "extras" for purposes of this discussion. It is ambiguous because it has two connotations. One is a fixed definition of blatant sexual contact and another is a relative definition of being beyond the club norm. Using the term typically leads to a debate over semantics. Even prostitution has a legal definition which may include brushing against genitals through clothing, which some lapdances include, and a more commonplace conversational definition which involves more explicit sexual contact. When wondering about specifics, it's more effective to describe the behavior in question and how it relates to club norms. Such as, "I feel I can make more money if I do touching and mild grinding." That's relatively clear compared to using general terms, isn't it?

To the original poster, it sounds like what you're seeking is a club where the dancers' typical actions are in line with the ones you feel can make you the best money. That is, as long as it isn't a club that's frequently getting raided by the cops.

-Ev

pinkkitten
11-19-2006, 08:31 PM
i don't think being high mileage as opposed to a prostitute is any safer though. i work in a high mileage club where a lot of the girls are prostitutes and since they use condoms they have some kind of barrier that is not a thin layer of fabric. As opposed to me grinding on the guy and if he comes in his pants and doesn't tell me it can go through the fabric and get on my skin. And that's not exactly unheard off and happens more than any of the girls would like in a high mileage lap dance. It's kinda messed up if the girl offering covered bj's or full sex is at a lower health risk than the girl that is just rubbing up naked against clothed men.

Bridgette
11-20-2006, 02:41 AM
An extra is NOT just the sexual favor stuff ladies. It's ANYthing that isn't the norm, that gives you an advantage over the average. It can be mere thigh-rubbing, if that's not allowed and part of the norm in that club/area. Basically, if most girls aren't doing it, and you ARE, it's an extra.

All this said, I am probably a very mild extra girl - depending on the club. In some places I'm a huge prude, and in others I'd be a dirty ho. I tend to stick reasonably within or near the rules/norm where ever I am though. I like to push the rules, but I don't like to give too much away, if that makes sense.

As for OP, if you are only wanting to do extras for the money, you should work on your selling skills instead. If you're not totally comfy with it, you will just make yourself unhappy and all the money in the world can't fix that. If you're cool with the extra stuff, why not just escort again? It's less risky and more profitable than working in a strip club when you do it the right way.

scarymary77
11-20-2006, 02:54 AM
if you choose to prostitute, do it in a brothel. strip clubs are for dancers. contact varies depending on where you're at but dont break the rules, it only causes more issues. you sound confused and frustrated, damia, maybe it's time to take a break from the sex industry. we all need it sometimes. check out this site: , they have a good poster you can get here through acrobat for 'how to cure sex worker burnout':

Chrissy68
11-20-2006, 03:27 AM
If you do more than a lap dance. A dance with touching you are doing extras. Anythng more you are a prostitute.

you like to start drama, something i have noticed in most of your posts. and this quote is your OPINION. and just FYI, opinions cannot be wrong, so stop arguing them!
it is MY OPINION that if one obeys a particular club's rules, they are not doing extras even if in your home club they would be considered extras, i.e. a boob grab.

and Damia-
good choice, way to overcome your past history! i'd have to agree with others before who stated that you should bone up on SW and maybe think about your hustle and what might need changing.

sexy_celeste
11-20-2006, 03:37 AM
Ive hired girls who I KNEW did escort work out of the club, and as long as it was KEPT OTC it was fine by me.
It also meant that the really pushy 'extras' guys were told "you can always hire me for the evening" and she would give them her card. Usually they were cheap asses who wanted a OTC$100 service for $20, but it sure stopped them asking.

OP, Good luck!

PookaShell
11-20-2006, 03:51 AM
If you do more than a lap dance. A dance with touching you are doing extras. Anythng more you are a prostitute.


Erm....that's just not true. A dance with touching is extras in an air dance club. In Houston a dance with touching is what the prude dancers (i.e. ME :D) give. It is not considered extras. And just because somebody is a pro doesn't mean she can't be a stripper, too. Just as long as the industries are kept seperate. For someone who complains alot about girls on here being rude, Sassfire, you respond pretty harshly to someone just asking a question.

Chrissy68
11-20-2006, 04:01 AM
^^ :D prude pooka! btw, pooka, totally off topic, i like your new photo of the thigh highs.

and hear hear.

sassfire
11-20-2006, 11:16 AM
Erm....that's just not true. A dance with touching is extras in an air dance club. In Houston a dance with touching is what the prude dancers (i.e. ME ) give. It is not considered extras. And just because somebody is a pro doesn't mean she can't be a stripper, too. Just as long as the industries are kept seperate. For someone who complains alot about girls on here being rude, Sassfire, you respond pretty harshly to someone just asking a question.

Excuse me but a lapdance shouldn't involve touching, period. In fact you can't even touch yourself during a lapdance. If you deliberately touch a guy then that is an extra. Some states have laws against touching in clubs. I think the only place you can touch is his arms, go to his chest or groin area and that is illegal. Lapdances are supposed to be airdances. Strippers and customers don't like it but it's true. The laws are so tight ass that the rules have to be bent. For strippers who complain so much about customers touching you, you have no qualms about touching them. Sounds ironic to me.

As for you Damia, why are you asking if you can be a prostitute in a strip club? At first I thought you wanted to at least try to work clean, but I guess not. Regardless of what these ladies say here fucking and sucking in a club is not extras that is a one way ticket to jail for prostitution. Did a co-worker tell you that you can do exactly what you do on the streets (or where ever), it's much safer, and no pimp (if you have one)? If you do prostitute like things in a club you are still a prostitute. It is safer in a club, but not that safe and managers are pimps.

Too many prostitutes who get tired of the streets want to do their outside thing in the strip club. This gives clubs a bad reputation. Sure there are some who do go the stripper way, but some are just changing territory.



For someone who complains alot about girls on here being rude, Sassfire, you respond pretty harshly to someone just asking a question.
If you reply to me in a normal manner I have no problem with that. Calling me names yes. I only respond in a crude way after several attacks for others. How exactly am I suppose to respond to her. "Sweetie you can touch and grind all you want in a club. Any type of extra is okay". Please. No one here is going to pay her bail. If she is prostitute what if a cop comes in the SC? He is going to know who she is. They are going to watch her more closely. Go ahead lead her to a path to jail. At least I'm upfront enough to tell her the truth.

cameronfl
11-20-2006, 11:26 AM
Excuse me but a lapdance shouldn't involve touching, period. In fact you can't even touch yourself during a lapdance. If you deliberately touch a guy then that is an extra. Some states have laws against touching in clubs. I think the only place you can touch is his arms, go to his chest or groin area and that is illegal. Lapdances are supposed to be airdances.

That may be the law and the norm where YOU are...but it is differant other places. Here for instance there is really no such thing as an airdance. Lapdances are called friction dances because grinding and touching is not only allowed, it is the norm and expected. If we did an airdance for a guy we'd get laughed out of town and into backruptcy. The only thing it is illegal to touch here is actual genitalia...i.e he cant touch your pussy, you cant touch his penis,etc.... and if a girl does that she is doing "extra". And even at that...sadly "extras"(ie prostitution) are commonplace.

Why cant you grasp that the laws and norms where you are are not necessarily the same everywhere. It really isnt that hard a concept to get...

sassfire
11-20-2006, 11:43 AM
The norm in the clubs, but not allowed in the law books. Deliberate touching of the groin area and the chest is not allowed. Touching your breast and groin area is not allowed. Touching his arm, knees, lower leg is allowed. Doing the same to yourself is allowed. Just because your club lets you get away with it doesn't mean that it is not an extra. What does a norm have to do with a law? A criminal activity is normal to to a crook. He is still breaking the law.

Why are you ladies arguing with me? You want people to not think of you as prostitutes and want people to consider you mere entertainers, yet you excuse fucking and sucking as just extras. It is prostitution.

FrustratedBunny
11-20-2006, 11:52 AM
But i am high contact, fuck...this is tampa!

yeah, I'd consider an extra in tampa to be hj, bj, fs. Touching isn't. It's just part of a standard lapdance, at least in tampa.

Jenny
11-20-2006, 11:53 AM
Why are we arguing with you?
Because, baby, you're wrong. Not just a little wrong. But wrong in a large and imposing sense. You have the Godzilla of Wrong trampling over this thread right now.

I suspect you don't really know the laws, or you'd know that they are largely local. They vary by municipality, state and country. Further the fact that something is illegal doesn't change its status as generally accepted and ALLOWED. Take jaywalking for example. Generally illegal, but very, very few people get ticketed even if the police are there are watching and are on a ticketing quota. Why? Because it is recognized that ticketing people for jaywalking is kind of unfair despite its illegal status because it is so generally tolerated.

And you're right. We don't have a problem touching the guys. We don't have a problem with the guys touching us provided it is consensual - which frequently means within the rules or established norms of the club. If this is about to go back to the even wrong-er and stupider argument that if we get close to a guy he is bound to touch us because guys shouldn't be expected to recognize the difference between consensual and non-consensual touching when women are close to them - just... don't even. That would be like the American remake of Godzilla, and we all know how that turned out.

cameronfl
11-20-2006, 11:57 AM
The norm in the clubs, but not allowed in the law books.

good grief....honey...it is not allowed by law in YOUR area..not everywhere. laws change from state to state, town to town. Touching as I described it is NOT against the law here. It is NOT considered prostitution.

Are you actually going to listen to what others are telling you or are you just going to insist on being wrong?

Chrissy68
11-20-2006, 05:42 PM
really, sassfire, why do you continue to argue with all of us? i agree on all of what jenny said!

PaigeDWinter
11-20-2006, 05:45 PM
Excuse me but a lapdance shouldn't involve touching, period. In fact you can't even touch yourself during a lapdance. If you deliberately touch a guy then that is an extra. Some states have laws against touching in clubs. I think the only place you can touch is his arms, go to his chest or groin area and that is illegal. Lapdances are supposed to be airdances. Strippers and customers don't like it but it's true. The laws are so tight ass that the rules have to be bent. For strippers who complain so much about customers touching you, you have no qualms about touching them. Sounds ironic to me.





Ahhahahahahahaaa.... The term in question is LAPdance. LAP. L-A-Pdance. Not table dance, not couch dance, not air dance. LAPdance. Dance on the lap. Areas that dont allow LAPdances have table dances or air dances.

hardkandee
11-20-2006, 07:25 PM
Ahhahahahahahaaa.... The term in question is LAPdance. LAP. L-A-Pdance. Not table dance, not couch dance, not air dance. LAPdance. Dance on the lap. Areas that dont allow LAPdances have table dances or air dances.

A whatdance?

Oh... I gotcha Paige. ;)

Really now, how many places are there where airdances are the norm? I can't imagine many.

Djoser
11-20-2006, 07:37 PM
good grief....honey...it is not allowed by law in YOUR area..not everywhere. laws change from state to state, town to town. Touching as I described it is NOT against the law here. It is NOT considered prostitution.

Are you actually going to listen to what others are telling you or are you just going to insist on being wrong?

He's going to insist, I fear...

PookaShell
11-20-2006, 07:39 PM
Chrissy thanks for the compliment on my new picture. :)I like to take pictures like that at work and text them to Paige. And sorry Sassfire - its not that we're trying to be rude to you in all of your posts, its just that you are frequently very stubbornly in the wrong and giving people bad advice and being rude about it. We tend to correct that habit.

PaigeDWinter
11-21-2006, 12:43 AM
A whatdance?

Oh... I gotcha Paige. ;)

Really now, how many places are there where airdances are the norm? I can't imagine many.


Around me, its Orlando and... um... Orlando.

TigersMilk
11-21-2006, 12:47 AM
Its air dance city here. Anything more is an extra. Touching hair is an extra although not really worthy of busting someone over.

sexy_celeste
11-21-2006, 02:19 AM
Technically this state is strictly non-contact. So airdance only, BUT it is the norm for girls to do light one-way contact (specially in topless) with no repercussions.

And if you look up Gold Coast Girls stories about the Gold Coast they are pretty high contact over there.

Admittedly the laws are being broken, but not enforced. Just as prostitution is not illegal, but its not legal, in this state - Maybe the whole country? Any Aussies know?

And I wouldnt fire someone for allowing light contact, BUT bj, hj,fs, out the door before they can even wipe up.

PaigeDWinter
11-21-2006, 02:34 AM
Technically this state is strictly non-contact. So airdance only, BUT it is the norm for girls to do light one-way contact (specially in topless) with no repercussions.

And if you look up Gold Coast Girls stories about the Gold Coast they are pretty high contact over there.

Admittedly the laws are being broken, but not enforced. Just as prostitution is not illegal, but its not legal, in this state - Maybe the whole country? Any Aussies know?

And I wouldnt fire someone for allowing light contact, BUT bj, hj,fs, out the door before they can even wipe up.


ANY contact for money = prostitution in a few states here. Does it get enforced? Rarely. The idea that I could shake your hand and give you a dollar and you'd be a "prostitute" is more than most law enforcement are willing to bother with. Its a stupid idea anyways.

flickad
11-21-2006, 04:19 AM
I divide extras into two categories, legal and illegal. Legal extras are the ones that the club and the law allows, and those I have no problem with. It is when people go beyond that to break the law and the club rules that there is a problem. There is nothing wrong with contact, as long as you are at a contact club and the contact in question is within the rules of that club. However, a no-contact club should be kept non-contact.

flickad
11-21-2006, 04:22 AM
Technically this state is strictly non-contact. So airdance only, BUT it is the norm for girls to do light one-way contact (specially in topless) with no repercussions.

And if you look up Gold Coast Girls stories about the Gold Coast they are pretty high contact over there.

Admittedly the laws are being broken, but not enforced. Just as prostitution is not illegal, but its not legal, in this state - Maybe the whole country? Any Aussies know?

And I wouldnt fire someone for allowing light contact, BUT bj, hj,fs, out the door before they can even wipe up.

Prostitution is legal in NSW and Victoria, though it's highly regulated. Contact dances are legal (though not common) in Victoria, however genital contact is not. A brothel license is required for any kind of genital contact or masturbation to take place.

Lysondra
11-21-2006, 05:02 PM
Technically this state is strictly non-contact. So airdance only, BUT it is the norm for girls to do light one-way contact (specially in topless) with no repercussions.

And if you look up Gold Coast Girls stories about the Gold Coast they are pretty high contact over there.

Admittedly the laws are being broken, but not enforced. Just as prostitution is not illegal, but its not legal, in this state - Maybe the whole country? Any Aussies know?

And I wouldnt fire someone for allowing light contact, BUT bj, hj,fs, out the door before they can even wipe up.

Even in Queensland, the laws are VERY strict compared to America... no really. What you guys consider being 'dirty', I laugh at. I mean, I totally understand where you're coming from (after working Sydney especially) but when I first came to QLD, I thought, "SWEET, hardly ANY contact!"

Lysondra
11-21-2006, 05:03 PM
Prostitution is legal in NSW and Vicroria, though it's highly regulated. Contact dances are legal (though not common) in Victoria, however genital contact is not. A brothel license is required for any kind of genital contact or masturbation to take place.

Prostitution is legal in QLD as well, but (I believe) only in a brothel.

evan_essence
11-21-2006, 11:18 PM
Excuse me but a lapdance shouldn't involve touching, period. ... I think the only place you can touch is his arms ...All right, sweetie, here's the problem. You're wording your points very poorly. Mine is a constructive criticism. See the problem with these two sentences in the excerpt of your post? They contradict one another when interpreted literally. No touching PERIOD means not even on the arms. I believe what you meant to say was no touching of the genitals period. That wording would cause your observation to make more sense. (Btw, I'm not trying to nitpick about spelling and grammar here; I'm talking about clarity of meaning that helps avoid arguments arising from misunderstandings.)


Lapdances are supposed to be airdances.Again, poorly worded if you're trying to communicate what I think you are. I think you're attempting to say, "Lapdances aren't supposed to be performed because they're illegal; the private dances are supposed to be airdances only." As others have observed, the laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction so that may not always hold true, but I think this is the general point you were trying to make. The way you worded it, however, well, that's tantamount to saying dogs are supposed to be cats. When interpreted without a little extra implied meaning, your statment is contradictory.


Strippers and customers don't like it but it's true. The laws are so tight ass that the rules have to be bent.Most of us agree with that general observation, regardless of the specific laws or terminology used. So I fail to see why you have a problem with dancers following the club norms, rather than the strict letter of the law, especially if they understand the difference and the potential risk.


For strippers who complain so much about customers touching you, you have no qualms about touching them. Sounds ironic to me.I'm sorry but it seems to me you're just baiting, trolling for emotional reaction, with this remark. Because I refuse to believe you don't actually understand that the complaints are about touching without consent, and no one approves of that. To trigger no complaint, it has to be mutually consensual.


As for you Damia, why are you asking if you can be a prostitute in a strip club? At first I thought you wanted to at least try to work clean, but I guess not. Regardless of what these ladies say here fucking and sucking in a club is not extras that is a one way ticket to jail for prostitution.Yeah, now you appear to be rewriting history. See why people deem you a troll? The poor communication could be given a little leeway if it's truly unintentional, but mischaracterizing what others said seems disingenuous. She didn't ask if she could be a prostitute, did she? Turns out, after things were clarified, we found out she was inquiring about the various degrees of contact allowed. And, find me a quote if I'm wrong, but no one said fucking and sucking for money is not prostitution. You're locked in a superficial semantics debate over whether prostitution is a subset of extras or a category wholly apart.


Did a co-worker tell you that you can do exactly what you do on the streets (or where ever), it's much safer, and no pimp (if you have one)? If you do prostitute like things in a club you are still a prostitute. It is safer in a club, but not that safe and managers are pimps.You've now touched on the one reason I actually accept as an answer from a woman wanting to prostitute in the club. It's somewhat safer. I realize the negative impact it has, but I have a hard time telling one of my sisters that she should go back out where it's more dangerous when no one else, especially not the State, will take an active role in trying to make it safer.

-Ev

Chrissy68
11-22-2006, 03:09 AM
^^ that was probably the best worded response to sassfire's comments. well said.

and as for what paige said above about where airdances happen, there is one club in philly where they are the "rule". but i really cant imagine the draw.

francescadubois
11-22-2006, 08:28 AM
^^If you're talking about the club I think you are, "D's", they're the rule but they didn't enforce them when I was there for 2 years. Girls just had to be a little sneakier about it, and there wasn't AS MUCH touching as some other places, but the airdance thing died there a while back.

Damia
11-24-2006, 01:08 AM
I see that this thread in no longer first page. Thanks for helping me out and Setting me straight.

thegreatdame
11-26-2006, 12:19 PM
Hello Damia.

What was your determining factor in your decision to stop prostituting?

In all reality, we all prostitute our bodies for profit. Furthermore, its a high misconception that ethnic women all prostitute.
Honey, if you can make $300 in 1/2 hour vs. $300 in an 8 hour shift, do the 1/2 hour. If it's a question of ethics, that question shouldn't even exist. As you've read before, there are many women on here who wouldn't dare admit that they've done some strange things for some change. And there are those who keep it real.
Your grind, hustle, ambition is your business. I used to have an escort agency and it did quite well. I will begin it again in January. The club scene isn't what it used to be. It used to be so simple to make minimally $500+ nightly. I've had some nights with less than $75. So to make that $500 in an hour or so I'd do any day. I always tell people to call me what you want but make sure you call me PAID.

Nicolina
11-26-2006, 12:50 PM
For those of you who think that there has to be TOUCHING involved to get charged with prostitution:

Where I worked in Connecticut, the law defined prostitution as "sexual CONDUCT, with intent to arouse, in exchange for money."

NOT contact, just conduct .

High-and-mighty airdancers, take note. And check on your local laws. You might find out you're a ho and you didn't even know it.

Sirona
11-26-2006, 12:51 PM
Excuse me but a lapdance shouldn't involve touching, period.

Shouldn't implies this is your opinion, not a fact.

If it's fact i'd love to see links to the applicable websites regarding contact in strip clubs.

tootsie
11-26-2006, 12:55 PM
You won't get blasted for it, but you're also not going to get very many responses. This is like shopping at KMart. Nobody admits to doing it, but the parking lot is always full.



you're so right. I don't believe that out of all the members on this board not one is an extra girl. No one will admit it.

Nicolina
11-26-2006, 01:11 PM
^A number of posters admitted to being "extras girls" so long as "extra" was being defined as anything outside the club norm. (This isn't too surprising since the meaning of "extra" here is ambiguous and can apparently involve things like "arm-touching," so it's not likely to get them in trouble).

In all fairness, it would be unwise to admit to performing HJ, BJ, or FS in exchange for cash on a web forum--unless you are tech-savvy enough to know that you have taken precautions that will prevent other savvy folks (LE, crazed stalkers, etc.) from being able to track down your real identity.

Sirona
11-26-2006, 04:22 PM
Regardless of what these ladies say here fucking and sucking in a club is not extras that is a one way ticket to jail for prostitution.

Actually if you're in Rhode Island you're 100% wrong. As it stands in RI prostitution is legal as long as it's indoors.

Emily
11-26-2006, 04:24 PM
Actually if you're in Rhode Island you're 100% wrong. As it stands in RI prostitution is legal as long as it's indoors.

Wow....I didn't know that!