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easy_e
11-18-2006, 09:10 AM
Ok, this might be normal for some people but I'm a little freaked - a recent acquaintance (male) seemed like he was hinting around that his GF wanted a 3some with me & my GF, but now it's become clear that she just wants to fuck me. Evidently she asked him to pass the message to me and he's ok with it. I'm really not that attracted to her but in some twisted way I would feel like I'm insulting him if I don't do the deed. OTOH, I really can't tell my GF about this (she's out of town) and I don't want to cheat on her. But this seems more along the lines of doing a favor for a friend, so I'm thinking I just have a few drinks, fuck the shit out of her and go on down the road. Input?

Jenny
11-18-2006, 09:29 AM
Um....
Yeah, that is weird.
I'm a huge advocate of not having sex that you don't want, and your friend should not pressure you into having sex, of any kind, that you don't want. Further, if you and your girl don't have an open relationship you might consider, maybe, possibly that there is some kind of ethical ground here that says that maybe, possibly you really shouldn't be fucking other women even if you ARE attracted to them.

So if you really feel that you would be being "rude" by declining to fuck his girl, you can just say that you would prefer not to cheat on YOUR girl, or that you are just kind of weirded out by the whole situation.

Richard_Head
11-18-2006, 11:13 AM
^^what Jenny says.

I really don't see how any good can come out of this. Why exactly is your friend okay with this? And if your friend is only an 'acquaintance' why do you care about insulting him?

Casual Observer
11-18-2006, 05:10 PM
Yeah, don't have sex that doesn't thrill you, dude. Life is too damn short for that.

yoda57us
11-18-2006, 07:16 PM
You are insulting HIM if you don't screw his girlfriend? Dude, who's pussy is it? Hint:not his.

mr_punk
11-19-2006, 09:39 AM
I'm really not that attracted to her but in some twisted way I would feel like I'm insulting him if I don't do the deed.awww..you're such a gentleman.

OTOH, I really can't tell my GF about this (she's out of town) and I don't want to cheat on her.so, you've never cheated on your GF in a sc?

Further, if you and your girl don't have an open relationship you might consider, maybe, possibly that there is some kind of ethical ground here that says that maybe, possibly you really shouldn't be fucking other women even if you ARE attracted to them.but what if she's really, really hot and very, very nasty? oh c'mon, guys should get a special ethical dispensation in that situation.

easy_e
11-21-2006, 01:54 PM
Why exactly is your friend okay with this? And if your friend is only an 'acquaintance' why do you care about insulting him?
He's ok with it because they have an open relationship as long as they're honest about who they are having sex with. I care about insulting him because he's the type of person who can do a LOT of favors.

so, you've never cheated on your GF in a sc?
that would depend on your definition of cheating

but what if she's really, really hot and very, very nasty? oh c'mon, guys should get a special ethical dispensation in that situation.
Agreed, that should be ManLaw.

You are insulting HIM if you don't screw his girlfriend?
in some primitive tribal way, yes it would be an insult.

Yeah, don't have sex that doesn't thrill you, dude?
Well, even non-thrilling sex is better than most things in life, no?

So if you really feel that you would be being "rude" by declining to fuck his girl, you can just say that you would prefer not to cheat on YOUR girl, or that you are just kind of weirded out by the whole situation.
Yeah, but it still sounds like an "excuse". But I can't disagree with anything you said.

BrunetteGoddess
11-21-2006, 02:08 PM
Come on now e...let's be real here.

YOU don't owe your friend anything. HE needs to tame his freak of a girlfriend. It's not your fault!

Step up and say NO. You love your girlfriend? There's your answer. Not everyone is into the same kind of relationships. Yours is obviously different then their tastes. Say so for god sakes!

Jenny
11-21-2006, 06:24 PM
Yeah, but it still sounds like an "excuse". But I can't disagree with anything you said.Oh. I thought you were looking for an excuse - a "polite" way of extricating yourself.

If you're not looking for an excuse, try this:

"No thank you."

mr_punk
11-22-2006, 07:50 AM
that would depend on your definition of cheatingmy definition? what a clintonesque answer. however, unless this is your way of saying we're going steady. i'm not dating you....i think. so, it actually depends on your GF definition of cheating.

easy_e
11-22-2006, 09:14 AM
my definition? what a clintonesque answer. however, unless this is your way of saying we're going steady. i'm not dating you....i think. so, it actually depends on your GF definition of cheating.
Sorry man, I'm strictly hetero so.....NO. What I meant was, is a lap dance cheating? But I think this has been addressed in another thread.

Step up and say NO. You love your girlfriend? There's your answer.
You are right.

yoda57us
11-22-2006, 02:54 PM
in some primitive tribal way, yes it would be an insult.


So you are gonna hit her over the head and drag her back to your cave to have your way with her?

Dude, it's almost 2007 for cryin' out loud....

easy_e
11-27-2006, 10:58 AM
So you are gonna hit her over the head and drag her back to your cave to have your way with her?

Dude, it's almost 2007 for cryin' out loud....

No sir, I was referring to the ancient custom where a tribal chief would offer a young maiden to a visitor, and it would be a grave insult to refuse. Wouldn't you be insulted if you offered your wife to some guy and he was like "her? no way - to fugly for me."

Jenny
11-27-2006, 11:07 AM
I would actually think it perfectly normal if I were to "offer" my SO to someone and to have them respond: "No way. This is to fucking weird for me."

lunchbox
11-27-2006, 12:19 PM
Wouldn't you be insulted if you offered your wife to some guy and he was like "her? no way - to fugly for me."
You could try being a little more polite about it.

xdamage
11-27-2006, 12:30 PM
But this seems more along the lines of doing a favor for a friend

Input?

Well, I think if someone is looking to cheat they are going to find a set of conditions or limits which makes it okay, anything from stirring up trouble in their own relationships, to well, logic like this ;)

We're all adults, make your decision because you think it's right or wrong, not because of what your friend wants. Besides he might turn psycho on you post-the-event and all those favors you thought he could do for you... maybe quite the opposite will happen when he sees your face and thinks about you banging his wife (you know these 3-way and sharing things do go sour sometimes).

And along the lines of being able to do favors for you as the reason, so if you GF was out of town on business, and the boss implied he could do favors for her, would it be cool if she slammed backed a few drinks and spent the night fucking his brains out because she doesn't want to insult someone that can do favors for her? Just something to think about.

easy_e
11-28-2006, 08:12 AM
I agree with most of the comments made and I've decided not to go through with it. Right now I'm just avoiding the situation, but this guy actually seems hurt and dissapointed that I haven't banged his wife. I guess it takes all kinds.

yoda57us
11-28-2006, 09:12 AM
No sir, I was referring to the ancient custom where a tribal chief would offer a young maiden to a visitor, and it would be a grave insult to refuse. Wouldn't you be insulted if you offered your wife to some guy and he was like "her? no way - to fugly for me."

Frankly I don't see the difference between your example and mine aside from the fact that some girls like hair pulling and some don't.

Smokeless
11-28-2006, 11:06 PM
I agree with most of the comments made and I've decided not to go through with it. Right now I'm just avoiding the situation, but this guy actually seems hurt and dissapointed that I haven't banged his wife. I guess it takes all kinds.
You've probably made a wise choice. For all the reasons mentioned above. But one more, too. Something smells. And it's your friend, not the wife. He knows your GF is out of town. Yes? Why would he ask now? Does his wife and your GF talk? There's some hidden agenda here that I wouldn't touch with a 10 meter poll!