View Full Version : wierd shit on craigslist...
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chanzep
02-18-2009, 05:45 AM
LOL I wonder how they treat the girls}:D
Lovely Ush
02-19-2009, 07:52 PM
seeking attractive ladies for PT , unique fun (medford)
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=seeking%20attrac tive%20ladies%20for%20PT%20,%20unique%20fun%20%28m edford%29) [? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-02-15, 9:45PM PST
Seeking attractive ladies to stand on me. stand on my chest, face head and whole body- shoes ok, bare fun too- take out some aggression and stomp me silly 2 hr session pays 100$ cash
any ?'s
include pic
Jaden_GD
02-20-2009, 02:33 PM
"Midget or Fat guy
I need a midget or a fat guy that is willing to wear only a thong and running shoes. All you have to do is run through a wedding just before the bride and groom kiss. Start at the back and run up to the bride and groom and then bolt out the side door. THATS IT!
Or at the recption you could run through as the best man gives the toast. Thats It nothing else! We are talking maybe 5 minutes of work.
Reply to this email with you contact info and what you would charge. I want this to be a night NO one will forget.
Thanks
Jon"
ahaha WTF? /:O
ArmySGT.
02-20-2009, 03:23 PM
bonus points if they wear a veil!
*~Angel~*
02-20-2009, 03:27 PM
Wow, a nude receptionist....... SOme guys would do anything. And sex was immensely relpied, so im sure u would have to "audition" in the interview, have sex, and not even get the job...lol
That made me laugh
Jaden_GD
02-20-2009, 08:21 PM
bonus points if they wear a veil!
hahaha ;D
it sounds like someone's trying to ruin a wedding! lol
it's probably the most bizarre thing i've ever heard...
mercedez
02-20-2009, 10:37 PM
Weekday strap-on? (Denver)
Reply to:
[email protected] [? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-02-10, 10:02AM MST
Interested in a weekly strap-on gig over lunches? I am in metro Denver and could host. Just looking for a wild female who would enjoy having her own little toy to use on a regular basis. No nudity for you or touching. Your just there to have some bossy fun. This would be weekdays only. If you think your interested in chatting about the idea let me know.
That is crazy!
Lovely Ush
03-02-2009, 06:33 PM
This one made me laugh, had to share! :D
To the homeless guy that took a dump in our yard. (San Mateo and Lomas)
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=To%20the%20homel ess%20guy%20that%20took%20a%20dump%20in%20our%20ya rd.%20%28San%20Mateo%20and%20Lomas%29) [Errors when replying to ads? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-03-02, 2:34PM MST
Hey,
Thanks for leaving us a nice gift in our yard after breaking into all 4 of our cars. The one night I forget to take my bagpipe out of the car I find it in the middle of the sidewalk. Instead you steal my portable CD player but thanks for taking the time to take the CD out and leave it on the seat. I am just curious as to way you took the three nail guns out of the bag but you left the bag behind. And all the CD's out of all our CD players but left the stereos. All in all, It was no big deal and we had a good laugh about you and your methods. You only stole a CD player and a few tools, You could have taken the bag the tools were origionally in and stole more. But thanks for not beeing so greedy.
Oh, even though all the doors were locked, thanks for not breaking our windows. Stop by again sometime, I'll let you use our bathroom.
Lovely Ush
03-02-2009, 06:36 PM
Wow, this is just weird!!!
You made my lobby stink, but now it stinks with you gone :( - m4w - 20 (Albuquerque, waiting for your return...)
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=You%20made%20my% 20lobby%20stink,%20but%20now%20it%20stinks%20with% 20you%20gone%20:%28%20-%20m4w%20-%2020%20%28Albuquerque,%20waiting%20for%20your%20r eturn...%29) [Errors when replying to ads? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-03-01, 9:11PM MST
So you used to come in during my graveyard shift, you looked cold, I always wanted to offer to warm you up but I always get shy, and plus the smell you released made me run into the bathroom to drain my eyes out. I figure you live pretty close to my hotel, seeing as how 5 or 6 in the morning I'd always see that smiling face, coming in asking for coffee. You wear alot of different clothes, which I thought was cute, I like a girl with a little diversity. Its just been a couple of weeks, and I havent seen ya come arround. You even left your shopping cart here, and I figure you might need it soon, its got alot of cans and cat fur in it, maybe for your coat making buisiness? Well I think we have something special, reply to this with the hotel or the name of the demon you always yelled in my parking lot, maybe I could take you out to some Starbucks. :)
Kyleigh1984
03-03-2009, 05:22 PM
This one made me laugh, had to share! :D
To the homeless guy that took a dump in our yard. (San Mateo and Lomas)
Reply to:
[email protected] []
Date: 2009-03-02, 2:34PM MST
Hey,
Thanks for leaving us a nice gift in our yard after breaking into all 4 of our cars. The one night I forget to take my bagpipe out of the car I find it in the middle of the sidewalk. Instead you steal my portable CD player but thanks for taking the time to take the CD out and leave it on the seat. I am just curious as to way you took the three nail guns out of the bag but you left the bag behind. And all the CD's out of all our CD players but left the stereos. All in all, It was no big deal and we had a good laugh about you and your methods. You only stole a CD player and a few tools, You could have taken the bag the tools were origionally in and stole more. But thanks for not beeing so greedy.
Oh, even though all the doors were locked, thanks for not breaking our windows. Stop by again sometime, I'll let you use our bathroom.
Wtf is wrong with people?
Sad Sally
03-03-2009, 10:29 PM
I love that this guy wants a "Nurse" and offers $20 an hour!
Need a nurse for an hour or two a day daily for Strictly Prostate Milkings and Prostate Massage, no Exp. Nec. excelent pay will train right person send contact info for immediate response
Thanks
Location: Corona
Compensation: 20/hr+
Nakita Kash
03-11-2009, 02:31 PM
man we never get anything fun like this in TB
Lovely Ush
03-13-2009, 04:56 PM
Looking for writers (female only) (Boulder county)
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=Looking%20for%20 writers%20%28female%20only%29%20%28Boulder%20count y%29) [Errors when replying to ads? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-03-12, 7:21PM MDT
Looking for gals who are experts in terms of describing how they want a man to perform oral sex.
If you think you can write in entertaining and informative detail about what a guy needs to do to give you the best oral ever then this could be a good gig for you.
I'm looking for 10 gals who think they can to put together a short book on the subject.
Write for more details
Location: Boulder county
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $100 for texts accepted for publication
PostingID: 1072525568
Kylea2
03-14-2009, 11:39 PM
man we never get anything fun like this in TB
Oh, come on Nakita... there's got to be something good down there.
I always come across funny stuff in Denver. There is the "best of Craigslist" that you can check.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/?q=
My personal local fav is
http://tinyurl.com/ywe598
LOL I just don't even know what to think of it!
Lovely Ush
03-29-2009, 10:58 PM
small penis humiliation
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=small%20penis%20 humiliation) [Errors when replying to ads? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-03-28, 7:45AM MDT
I'm looking for a woman or group of women to humiliate my small penis. No need for you to undress and no sex. If you've ever wanted to let a man know how small he is, now is your chance!
Denver
patchouli
03-30-2009, 12:11 PM
Two friends of mine go on CL to see how bizarre of an ad they can write and still get responses. It's hilarious what some people write back to them. lol
Jaden_GD
03-31-2009, 04:18 PM
Hah, it's kinda sad, but made me laugh really hard!
Imaginary Friend Seeking New Friends - m4mm (Waupun)
My imaginary friend is seeking new companions, after 6 years we have decided to go our separate ways. He has had a good past and we have never really run into any problems. Overall he is a good friend and will always be by your side when you need him the most. I have listed a picture of us having fun playing chess. Please contact me if you are interested.
http://images.craigslist.org/3n63pe3ofZZZZZZZZZ93u1b95428dd2c41b7d.jpg
Miss_McKenna
04-02-2009, 05:11 PM
^^^ lmao! ;d
chanzep
04-07-2009, 04:54 PM
hahaha ;D
it sounds like someone's trying to ruin a wedding! lol
it's probably the most bizarre thing i've ever heard...
LOL;D
chanzep
04-07-2009, 04:59 PM
Just a cheapy little fone, with a radio and one that I can plug a memory card in, the cheaper the better, no camera or fancy graphics and I will do anything for you to get one. Make it easy, no, in fact let me make it easy.......... what task of any kind, sexual, physical, spiritual, mental or other, what can I do to earn a new working fone.
Suggestions via EMAIL please as my number is fried.
Anything for a phone;D
chanzep
04-07-2009, 05:05 PM
Submissive required for secretarial position
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-04, 12:40AM BST
This is a social secretary position available for a submissive, slave or pet-type male or female of age 21 or above.
Primarily handling her telephone correspondence, you will screen and answer calls on your Mistress's behalf and pass through contact details.
The hours involved will be arranged to suit what is realistically feasible; this can be flexible.
You must be polite, efficient, and presentably British-sounding (Received Pronunciation preferred).
Please only reply if you are serious. It is an unpaid position: this is not a work-at-home business or job advert; it is for someone seeking to provide service to a dominant for the simple pleasure of doing so.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
All this for free
Lovely Ush
04-09-2009, 03:17 PM
Looking for asian woman to stand and look pretty (Park Meadows)
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=Looking%20for%20 asian%20woman%20to%20stand%20and%20look%20pretty%2 0%28Park%20Meadows%29) [Errors when replying to ads? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-04-09, 11:27AM MDT
I have a 19 year old co-worker who is obsessed with all things Asian (anime, takes Kung fu, ect) but he wants to save his virginity for marriage so I want to torture him by having a very beautiful Asian girl come into the store and hit on him. He will be forced to refuse the advances of said Asian girl and it will be very funny to me. Reply with pic if you are interested in my sick prank it's a quick easy way to make $100
Location: Park Meadows (Denver)
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $100
PostingID: 1114606010
Lovely Ush
04-09-2009, 03:19 PM
Prom Date (Denver)
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=Prom%20Date%20%2 8Denver%29) [Errors when replying to ads? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-04-09, 9:20AM MDT
i need a date for my senior prom and need to show my friends that i can get a hot girl. I am willing to pay for the service of about 5 hours. send me an email asap with pictures and description. we can discuss the amount payed
Location: Denver
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: TBA
PostingID: 1114380920
Kylea2
04-14-2009, 08:27 PM
LOL!
Why is it you always post the ones from Denver? Aren't you in New Mexico? Isn't there anything funny down there?
Lovely Ush
04-15-2009, 03:16 AM
LOL!
Why is it you always post the ones from Denver? Aren't you in New Mexico? Isn't there anything funny down there?
Do a search on CL Adult New Mexico, you'll see New Mexico doesn't have 1/4 of the kink going on in Denver. LOL
SpeakngEZ
04-26-2009, 11:48 PM
I just assumed he wants small hands to make his dick look bigger... but $80??? Hahahaha
"Are you a girl with nice small and soft hands? I'd like to have you model for me. I want to take pictures and video of a pair of petite hands giving me a handjob. This is for personal use only. I'm a cute, fun and respectful guy in my 20s.
Your face won't be shown and you don't need to be nude. You'll only be using your hands so it's very safe and clean. I prefer girls between 18 and 28. Must have small hands with very short nails (no tack ons). The shoot is quick, easy, fun and discreet and you'll be paid cash.
Please send some pictures of yourself showing your hands. Thanks. =)
* Location: SD
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 80"
chitownchick
04-27-2009, 12:20 AM
^^i would get a driver a do that gig -
whats with people trying to contact homeless people - they dont have computers , or im stupid and dont get that its all supposed to be for everyones entertainment....haha jokes on me
chitownchick
04-27-2009, 12:30 AM
i got some-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-26, 11:36PM EDT
I make housecalls...me, my tongue, and my lil 7-8 inch buddy...tell me why i should come see u..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
To all the ladies who answered previous add thanks I am still looking however I loooooove blonds with a tan or a sexy tone brunette will do but most important is someone who wants to have sex all night and try everything known to man. I prefer someone who keeps it clean shaved downstairs especially if yo want oral satisfaction. Please be real and don't try selling me on some site or joining all the other lame ass dudes who pay to watch a chick play with her self on a cam. AND NO DUDES I unfortunately got several gay replies I love pussy not a dudes ass now I would do anal with a woman if she requested. I am a down to earth guy just looking for nsa fun I don,t care if you are taken I will return you after we have our fun. Also I have 8 down their seems to be a popular question so why not address it.
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b-day blow job
Its my Birthday and no presents yet. Looking for a female to give me a great blowjob for my birthday will satisfy you also if desired. Please send a face pic and lets talk. i can host or travel reasonable distance.
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Ladies have you ever wonderd just how much cock you could handle. Well he is your chance . I have a true fuck marchine. it has a variable speed controll. allowing the operater to make it fuck as slow or fast as you like . and as deep as you can take. I am a total voyeur love to watch. Cum enjoy the pleasure of seeing just how many orgasms you can have. Make a hot video for that man in your life. Total disctere . interested reply info stats and current pic. Thanks Bill
LOOK AT THE LINK THERE IS A PICK OF THE MACHINE!!!!
http://lexington.craigslist.org/cas/1140624775.html
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Im in good shape, well hung, DD Free, just looking for some adult fun with a cool chick thats can suck my big cock till it blows & can take a pounding. Dont send me to another site to see your profile.
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THIS IS WEIRD
Yeah, RE RE Re RETARDS. The problem is that we DON'T expect more from them, that we don't hold them accountable for their actions. Then they grow up to be ADULT RETARDS that cause problems at work, and of course, every one wants to give them a break, let them learn from the mistake, etc. No, the time for learning is when they are young. And you wonder why some animals eat their young?
Stop forcing us all to be politically correct, start standing up and making people take responsibility, THEN we may get OUR country back from the RETARDS that are running it now.
firemaiden04
04-27-2009, 12:40 AM
Star vision ( aka-Double) STAR STAR STAR - m4w - 23 (clifton park(niskayuna)ha)
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-10, 3:05AM EDT
you already know by the title if we met.... i felt something... i could have sworn you did.... if you find this ... it is fate... if not..... it felt like fate..... you are a star... in my sky you are a star... on your ears.... you are a star..... around your neck... twice.... you are a star in my heart..... i hope i hear from you...
* Location: clifton park(niskayuna)ha
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
The name of the club I work at it Double Vision, located in Clifton Park, and Star is a dancer there, brand new, but she's worked at lots of other places. This just weirds me out, cause this isn't the first ad I've seen on craiglist for us.
kittycampbell
04-27-2009, 11:32 AM
Here's a few gems I found:
I am new on this - w4m
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-02, 4:33PM MDT
I am new on this Online dating Scene and I Just want to know where this will lead to... Well I am a Honest,Kind,Caring,Loyal,truthfull and God fearing Person, I am not here for any stupid games But I am Looking for an encounter only. , and I will Like to know More about a man.
Physically active Senior seeks Active Lady 4 NSA Relations - m4w - 62 (MEDICINE HAT, AB)
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-20, 12:32AM MDT
Well, it's official. My wife has given me the go-ahead to have a sexual partner outside of our marriage, honest, she'll probably want to meet you! We have been married 30 years, and wish to remain so for many more, but because of various physical and health reasons, sex is both difficult and uncomfortable for her. I'm only interested in a one on one ongoing relationship with someone who is in a similar situation with her partner so that we may be of mutual benefit and enjoyment to each other. I enjoy doing massage, giving oral and being able to hold, hug and kiss my partner during union. You should also be agile enough to enjoy various positions and enjoy a long session. There are several afternoons and evenings in the week that my wife is busy from 3 until midnight, so there is opportunity for us to enjoy each other for several hours. Appearance wise, I am 185 lbs, 5'8", average build, no beer belly, gray hair, glasses, dentures (gives me an extra inch of tongue), that's me! Oh yes, they say men come in 3 sizes: "Small", "Medium", and "Oh, My God!". I think I can rate at least an "Oh, My!". I'm also clipped and shoot blanks, a social drinker, don't smoke and prefer you didn't, and am drug and disease free. If you think that I sound somewhat interesting, please provide as much information about yourself too. After that, let's chat and meet sometime for coffee to see if the chemistry is there to go the rest of the way.
I am getting married next week...and - m4w - 28
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-11, 12:17AM MDT
One night stand needed with sexy women before my life goes to hell
18-40 apply only please
tlove0113
05-27-2009, 12:51 PM
Need a lady to tease me (Detroit)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to:see below
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:01PM EDT
I love when i'm talking to a lady on the phone and she says uhuh in responce to something I say. I really love it when she says it in a ( I don't beleave you ) or when the other person is talking to much she starts saying nothing but uhuh. That sound turns me on so stong, I need a lady to call me right now and when I say hello, JUST say uhuh to EVERYTHING I say. Don't ask me anything or talk just tease me by saying nothing BUT uhuh. Even if I get mad, say ok you can talk now or try to ask you something just act like im not worth an answer just say uhuh like you don't like me.
313-638-7507
Location: Detroit
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
minalynx
05-28-2009, 04:58 AM
Couldn't help but notice how EVERYONE on CL is disease/drug/drama free...
Personally, I think craigslist = one eye + three teeth!
Pretty funny stuff, though... :)
minalynx
05-28-2009, 05:12 AM
Free implants? Maybe!
Looking for a slim woman who wants LARGE Breast Implants
Reply to:
[email protected]
Date: 2009-05-24, 2:15PM CDT
First of all I'm in the Phoenix area, so if you are what I'm looking for, you'll also have to be willing to move here. It's a nice place actually and great weather. I'm mid 40s, professional, handsome, successful, 5'11" 185lb, non smoker, beer drinker. I own a nice home and have all the toys. My interests include Harleys, Vettes, Dirt Bikes, Motor Sports, Photography, Guns, Shooting, Home improvement, Landscaping and do it yourself projects. I'm upbeat and like to enjoy my free time as much as possible. You'll need to like weekend trips to party in Vegas. It's one of my favorite things to do. I'm looking for a hot little woman who wants to be all mine. Preferably no kids. Age 21-35, slim, fit and tight little figure. I have a thing for very large breast implants on mentioned tight little figure. A desire to have exceptionally large breast implants is a must. Yes, the stripper or porn star look if you will and yes, I'll buy you the big boobs if you have the body to go with them and we become a couple. Below are pics of the look I like. Notice these are exceptionally large implants. I've had a lot of responses from women saying they want to go to a C or D cup. Well, please don't write if that's you. I want someone who wants the DD to G range. Yes, that's what size these models are and the more petite a lady is relative to the breast size, the hotter it looks!
Anyway, I take great care of my woman if she takes care of me. I like to see her keep herself up with manicures, pedicures, tanning and wearing sexy outfits and shoes. Yes, I like to show my woman off a bit. Remember, weekend trips to Vegas, car races, boat races. I even like my woman to pose for pics. If this scenario appeals to you and you'd be happy with a more mature man who is settled and secure please reply with a PHOTO and tell me about yourself. Also address the subject matter of this ad so I know you are not spam. Thanks for looking
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
chanzep
05-28-2009, 02:50 PM
Thats the man 4 me LoL.
Gia2608
05-28-2009, 05:37 PM
Hey guys.... That's...
[email protected]!!!!
Lovely Ush
05-28-2009, 09:02 PM
Model + Car
Reply to:
[email protected] (
[email protected]?subject=Model%20%2B%20Ca r) [Errors when replying to ads? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts)]
Date: 2009-05-27, 5:14PM MDT
Okay, this is whats up. I am doing a scavenger hunt for my car website and I can win 100 dollars but I need to arrange some things to get lots of points. The way this goes...
5 dollars if you are a girl and bring a friend and kiss her in my car
5 dollars if you are a girl and get naked on my car
10 dollars if you are a guy and girl and do it on the hood of my car
and I will give you 20 whole dollars if two girls get naked on my hood and start like...getting frisky with each other.
Help me win 100 bucks!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: 5 or 10 or 20 bucks
PostingID: 1192165802
LOVE this one...
Dear Conceited Penis..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2007-11-13, 4:03PM PST
To my amazement, not only have you learned to take pictures of yourself, but you have figured out how to upload them on the computer AND post said pictures in the personal section of Craigslist! Now, having never met a miraculous penis such as yourself, who can do things without knowledge or consent of anyone, I thought I'd tell you how this works.
1. Believe it or not, you have an owner. Your owner and I are in a committed relationship where:
a. he is allowed to play with you,
b. I'm allowed to play with you, OR
c. WE together are allowed to play with you.
If for some reason you find someone else's mouth, fingers, vagina, or asshole in, on, or around you..SCREAM. Play dead, blow your emergency whistle, do something and then at the earliest convenience, tell me.
2. A conceited penis is the first place STD's run to. I'm not sure you've used the computer for anything other than begging for an STD but maybe the next time you sign on you should Wikipedia that shit. I, not having a miraculous vagina who thinks for itself, need to speak up and tell you, thats not something we, as in my vagina and myself, want.
3. With your outstanding knowledge of the human world, you should probably do right by your owner and fess up to clear his name. I will not be playing with you or him until someone comes clean and explains to me what exactly happened. I saw the response in his e-mail, did the research, put 2 and 2 together and found out that one of you posted the ad for Adult Fun with a man, woman, or both. He denies that he had anything to do with it but YOU are in the picture along with MY comforter. One of you is lying. If one of you would just be honest then I wouldn't have to put his belongings, or yours, out in the front yard. For the time being, I'm giving both of you the BOTD. Time is wasting...
4. If you decide that you can use your extraordinary abilities for something other than wreaking havoc on my life and would like to confess by either responding to this or maybe writing me a letter of confession then I would gladly give your owner a 2nd chance. He stands his ground on his innocence and as much as I'd like to believe him, I'd need to know who did it and why first. You could put the letter on my pillow and you wouldn't even have to sign your name, I'd just know.
5. I understand you penises go through an "active" phase, but you are suppose to eventually grow out of that. Considering the number of people you've been with and the amount of times you've done it, most would assume you'd be tired. You're not the 20 year old you used to be, your balls agree, just ask your knees.
Now that we have the basics covered, I'll give you a fair amount of time to do what's right. Until then, I will not amuse you in any way, I will not please you either. I will sit here and wait..probably wondering how you got a picture from that angle all by yourself. And you'll know when your time is up.
Sincerely,
JV
Kylea2
05-28-2009, 09:31 PM
^^^^ That whole thing was great... but I particularly loved this:
You're not the 20 year old you used to be, your balls agree, just ask your knees.
haha!!!
SpeakngEZ
05-28-2009, 10:08 PM
and I will give you 20 whole dollars if two girls get naked on my hood and start like...getting frisky with each other.
Not $19.76 because I couldn't dig the rest out of my sofa, but 20 WHOLE dollars!!!!!!!! Now, is that $20 each... or to split?
Christ, this guy ever been to a strip club?
Gia2608
05-29-2009, 08:18 AM
Oh my god I'm printing conceited penis and bringing it to work today!
A_Guy
05-31-2009, 07:01 PM
Husband wants a rusty trombone for his birthday
Date: 2009-04-27, 8:03PM EDT
My husband has asked for a rusty trombone for his birthday, which is Wednesday. I've scoured the pawn shops and music stores, and I haven't found one. I am guessing that rusty ones will be cheaper than new ones, and I don't know what the big deal is, but it's what he wants and he is very specific about it. I could have bought a dozen new ones at this point, but he says that a rusty trombone is nostalgic for him, so I suppose it will mean more. If you selling (or even giving away) a rusty trombone, please let me know what you have, how much it costs and how I can get it (will you deliver it, or will I have to go to you?). Also, suggestions on how to wrap such a thing? Please help, I am down to the wire on this thing and I don't like being this late with a gift!!!
Location: Miami ANYWHERE!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1143295553
Miss_McKenna
06-08-2009, 02:59 PM
;D
Need a sugar daddy for 8 years?
Date: 2009-06-08, 12:02AM PDT
I'm a great guy, and I take very good care of my people. I'm looking for a wife, and will fully support you for eight years. I'm currently serving time in Maximum security for bank robbery and have 8 years left in my sentence. I'm not eligible for conjugal visits yet, but will be soon, but only if I'm married. I am wealthy and looking for the right sugar baby -- white, attractive, loyal and knows how to treat a man (at least 18 years old please, I don't need more problems). You must be willing to be my girlfriend and visit frequently. When I'm eligible for conjugal visits, I will want to marry and enjoy conjugal visits with you. Once I am released our relationship will end. My friend is helping me, as I'm unable to access the internet. Please e-mail photos and why you think this would be a good relationship for both of us.
:O me and my friend are going to San Fran for July and we just LOL'd so hard at what great opportunities await us!
Kellydancer
06-08-2009, 03:14 PM
Brown? (Northside)
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Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-08, 3:59PM CDT
I'm looking for a female to perform # 2. Not on me, just the toliet. NSA, that's it. I'm 23/m cool and not looking for anything else. $$$$.
Location: Northside
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
minalynx
06-27-2009, 06:24 AM
Do You Like Tattoos? Yours Could Be Free! - m4w (St. Louis)
Reply to:
[email protected]
Date: 2009-06-27, 5:54AM CDT
I am looking for a young girl who wants to get loaded-up with tattoos. I will cover you with tattoos over the next 6-months in return for some arm-candy to hang out with. I am recently single again and not ready to date, don't like hanging out in the bars and am getting bored fast. Although I am not opposed to the idea I am not looking for a relationship and it is unlikely to happen since the girl I pick will most likely be 20 years younger than me - just looking for someone to kick it with and have some fun as we plan your next tat - dinner, drinks, just chill, do some research and lay out some tight work. I hope for this to develop a close friendship in the process so I want to see some compatibility before we get started. If you are for real you will find me to be one of the best friends you every had, easy to get along with and very respectful. You must be single/unattached, cute, fun,, like hanging out with older men and know how to be a true friend as well - you will never notice the age gap - we will have a lot of fun, trust me.I want to turn you into a sexy little suicide girl if you are the right girl . All work will be done by a professional artist. And I'm not talking about one or two tattoos - I'm thinking between 10 and 20. If interested and serious shoot me an email and tell me a little about you along with a pic. Don't bother replying unless you are ready to get inked and have a picture - I will not respond. Young, short petite girls go straight to the top of the list. Let's get started....
* Location: St. Louis
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1242023300
minalynx
07-01-2009, 04:35 AM
I almost fell off my chair LAUGHING at this one! :D
Woman to sit in my bath tub full of noodles, wearing a bathing suit - m4w - 40 (Fredericktown)
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-30, 7:50PM CDT
I will pay you $50 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit.
I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this.
I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure.
I will require at least a 5 minutes stay.
A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure.
Please supply your own footwear.
The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery.
DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.
I am particular about who sits in my noodles so email me a picture of you in your one piece bathing suit and I will let you know if get the money.
* Location: Fredericktown
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1247877620
chanzep
07-05-2009, 03:03 PM
Putting me off noodles.
hot4ablackchick
07-08-2009, 01:23 AM
I almost fell off my chair LAUGHING at this one! :D
Woman to sit in my bath tub full of noodles, wearing a bathing suit - m4w - 40 (Fredericktown)
Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-30, 7:50PM CDT
I will pay you $50 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit.
I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this.
I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure.
I will require at least a 5 minutes stay.
A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure.
Please supply your own footwear.
The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery.
DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.
I am particular about who sits in my noodles so email me a picture of you in your one piece bathing suit and I will let you know if get the money.
* Location: Fredericktown
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1247877620
:laughing::laughing::rotfl::rotfl:
That is seriously some funny shit!!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gawddamn
chanzep
07-10-2009, 06:14 AM
Why are all the cool chicks so fat?
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Reply to:
[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-10, 12:32AM CDT
I mean, yeah, so I'm a dick for saying it out loud, but I'm sure most the guys on here think the same thing. I mean, why is it every time I click on a title on CL talking about some chick is tattooed, funny, love horror movies, video games, etc..., why is it ALWAYS some huge pale chick? Are there no in shape, or even athletic women out there with the same qualities? All I know is that from personal experience, it seems that outwardly attractive women seem to think they're so cute, they don't need any of those other cool attributes, whereas the fat ones or outwardly not so eye pleasing figure that they need every advantage possible, so they make themselves like what guys like...porn, video games, and fishing...goofy shit like that. Here's an idea, how bout someone, ANYONE proove me wrong? I don't care if we date or not, how bout ONE woman under 1200lbs and who doesn't look like a gargoyle hit me back with some mail just so I can eat crow. That'd be great...my b-day is next week and I'd like crow for breakfast. yeah...and cat meat...cause I hate cats but they make a great meatball sandwich with 56grams of protein.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1262467304
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Miss_McKenna
07-15-2009, 11:00 PM
The noodle one :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
He's really thought it through, too!!
minalynx
07-18-2009, 03:00 PM
PBJ on THIGH (St. Louis)
Date: 2009-07-17, 6:14PM CDT
Reply to:
[email protected]
Girls be wild -- get spread with PBJ, then cleaned and polished. Must be over 18, not allergic to peanut oil, and ready for smooth and chunky, whipped and natural. Just lay back and have some fun. May lead to lots of laughter and possible ticklish delights. Suggest you're not bashful. And YES, you will get paid for all this fun!!! This is not a joke, so only sincere replys with a photo and contact number will be considered.
* Location: St. Louis
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 150/spread and clean
PostingID: 1275483308