View Full Version : wierd shit on craigslist...
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Budai
09-14-2007, 09:06 PM
Third Urinal at the Phoenix:
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." }:D
--
Flick6
09-14-2007, 09:10 PM
How can I say this...it's when your va jay jay farts. That's the best way I can describe it without getting all clinical about it.
oh LOL! I thought I was missing something.... who the fuck can do that???? not make one's "vajayjay" fart (lmao) but a whole song????
Yekhefah
09-16-2007, 02:05 PM
I kinda want to respond to this one, LOL!
cameron_keys
09-16-2007, 02:11 PM
I kinda want to respond to this one, LOL!
Awww...that is SO cute!!
Yekhefah
09-16-2007, 03:59 PM
And what a prize it is!!
michele_b
09-16-2007, 05:05 PM
Nursing relationship, lol
Look at my tomatoes
Fart on me
michele_b
09-16-2007, 05:39 PM
Be my 1 day girlfriend
Brown shower
gingerlee
09-16-2007, 06:02 PM
I kinda want to respond to this one, LOL!
Yeah, that is pretty damn cute. Maybe I have a soft spot for turtles or something. I wonder if her human is hot...
Yekhefah
09-16-2007, 06:16 PM
I'll, um, let you know. I answered it, or rather my cat did. :blush:
gingerlee
09-16-2007, 09:58 PM
I'll, um, let you know. I answered it, or rather my cat did. :blush:
Oooooooooh, your cat better update me! :)
Yekhefah
09-17-2007, 06:47 AM
Her turtle emailed my cat to ask about the guy on my MySpace page. I'm trying to figure out a good way for Buddy to explain the whole open-relationship situation. Wide open to suggestions, BTW.
Katrine
09-17-2007, 09:47 AM
Her turtle emailed my cat to ask about the guy on my MySpace page. I'm trying to figure out a good way for Buddy to explain the whole open-relationship situation. Wide open to suggestions, BTW.
If I was turtle girl, I'd be pissed that a girl with a boyfriend seriously responded to me. It doesn't seem like she's looking for a relationship with a swinger, but something real. :-\
cameron_keys
09-17-2007, 09:50 AM
If I was turtle girl, I'd be pissed that a girl with a boyfriend seriously responded to me. It doesn't seem like she's looking for a relationship with a swinger, but something real. :-\
It does look that way. You can tell her you are in an open relationship and that you are bi...but dont be surprised if she doesnt want to meet after that.
Yekhefah
09-17-2007, 12:44 PM
Yeah, kinda my thinking. Oh well, I'll just be honest and see how she feels about it.
Yekhefah
09-17-2007, 04:30 PM
OMG, so I posted on craigslist looking for a guy and one of them sent me this pic. I mean, I understand if you want to obscure your face, but uh... why would you send this to women you're hoping to have sex with?
Although it did make me laugh. I'm still cracking up!
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
TigersMilk
09-17-2007, 04:31 PM
^^ He's melting!! LMAO!!
cameron_keys
09-17-2007, 04:32 PM
OMG, so I posted on craigslist looking for a guy and one of them sent me this pic. I mean, I understand if you want to obscure your face, but uh... why would you send this to women you're hoping to have sex with?
Although it did make me laugh. I'm still cracking up!
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Come on...you know you want to have sex with a garbage pail kid!
Katrine
09-17-2007, 06:39 PM
The elephant man? Why, oh why, do men feel like showing us pics of their dicks online? Really, showing me the wang is an instant dealbreaker!
Yekhefah
09-17-2007, 06:45 PM
I gotta say that the above guy is the most hilarious response I've gotten, but I just received this little gem... keep in mind, nowhere in my ad did I say I'm a stripper, so I could be any woman at all.
I masturbate a lot, and totally not at all ashamed in any way what so
ever. I actually really enjoy strip clubs and love flirting with
dancers and not just letting them give me lap dances or rub my cock
through my jeans, but I actually like talking in between dances,
finding out where different girls are from, what they like, what they
look for in a guy...and so on.
Oh wow, he enjoys LETTING strippers rub his cock through his jeans, and he jerks off all the time - and he actually likes yakking away with the strippers to find out what they like in a guy! Is this guy totally SPECIAL or what? Why on EARTH is he single?!
Anybody want to take bets on whether he tips the dancers he drags into these "conversations"? Anyone? Bueller?
Alaska
09-17-2007, 11:38 PM
^ EW! I think it's a lurker on this site, that's what. Nasty!
AlexxaHex
09-18-2007, 11:16 PM
I gotta say that the above guy is the most hilarious response I've gotten, but I just received this little gem... keep in mind, nowhere in my ad did I say I'm a stripper, so I could be any woman at all.
Oh wow, he enjoys LETTING strippers rub his cock through his jeans, and he jerks off all the time - and he actually likes yakking away with the strippers to find out what they like in a guy! Is this guy totally SPECIAL or what? Why on EARTH is he single?!
Anybody want to take bets on whether he tips the dancers he drags into these "conversations"? Anyone? Bueller?
:rotfl: :rotfl: HEEEHEEHAHAHAHA! Oh this made me laugh so hard! Thank you!
Yekhefah
10-03-2007, 04:29 PM
may have already been posted here, I don't know. But damn, it's awesome.
BrunetteGoddess
10-03-2007, 05:00 PM
*gigglesnort*
Yekhefah
10-03-2007, 05:31 PM
Hurry, ladies! Don't miss this one! (http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/cas/439397370.html)
AudreyLeigh
10-03-2007, 07:21 PM
wow. thats just. wow.
BalletBaby
10-03-2007, 08:27 PM
This (http://seattle.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/323692159.html) may have already been posted here, I don't know. But damn, it's awesome.
bwahahahahahha!!!
michele_b
10-03-2007, 08:53 PM
The ass kicking machine, I about died when I read this, lol.
Vyanka
10-10-2007, 11:24 AM
I'm not sure if this one is even real, but it's been floating around the net a lot....
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know
AudreyLeigh
10-10-2007, 11:27 AM
^^^ thats in the dollar den
SundayMorning
10-10-2007, 03:45 PM
^^It's still pretty damn insightful.
Yekhefah
10-10-2007, 05:47 PM
To middle-aged women complaining about sex... (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/278645974.html)
Lysondra
10-10-2007, 06:13 PM
Hurry, ladies! Don't miss this one! (http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/cas/439397370.html)
The background kinda proves his story, though...
needtodance
10-16-2007, 02:00 PM
polenta and white bean soup
Reply to:
[email protected]
Date: 2007-10-16, 8:40AM PDT
In the middle of making this soup and polenta last night, my girlfriend told me she was leaving me in order to date another woman. I can't really eat, after hearing that, and the last thing I want to eat is this stupid half-cooked dinner. So they're on the porch at 36 NE Thompson. Come fill your belly with the fruits of my misery. If you want to leave me an encouraging note in the mailbox, that would be awesome.
(Sadly I have to go to work so cannot check if the food is gone to delete this post.)
WTF?!?!!?!
needtodance
10-16-2007, 02:05 PM
The one to middle aged woman makes me sad. Yay for selfish douches. Ugh. I need to cleanse my brain.
Alaska
10-16-2007, 06:16 PM
The one to middle aged woman makes me sad. Yay for selfish douches. Ugh. I need to cleanse my brain.
Oh puh-leeeeze. (Not to you.) He's just your typical corpulent Amercian ass gone impotent from being too fucking lazy to exercise, gone sexist/always was, and blamin' Eve. Thats all. He's obviously too physically unhealthy for an affair even!
I think the pseudo-science blog should pick this one up. Oh wait, that'd be insulting!
No one is fucking impotent if you are not poisoning your body with toxins and/or neglect. No wonder his wife doesn't want him.
...hehehe What Am I Doing Wrong is going in my permanent file of good articles and reading material!
cameron_keys
10-16-2007, 06:18 PM
No one is fucking impotent if you are not poisoning your body with toxins and/or neglect. No wonder his wife doesn't want him.
Not for nothin'...but some people indeed suffer from impotency that is NOT self inflicted. Not him I'm sure...but impotent doesnt equal unhealthy
Alaska
10-16-2007, 06:20 PM
^ Of course not, but you know...in the context of his lil essay we're leaving the legit ppl out. ;)
lizlizliz
10-24-2007, 10:07 AM
http://houston.craigslist.org/cas/457918279.html
59 yo retired male looking for a discreet bud to meet regularly for JO only. straight guys only no gay stuff. hairy a plus on stomach and chest but please be clean shaven down there. The twist is that I want a bud who can come live with me during storm season so we can go outside and JO during a tornado. My ultimate fantasy is to have us tied with leather belts to pipes like Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton at the end of the movie Twister and have our feet being sucked up into the vortex and while we are doing that we can JO (poss. handjob exchange) to climax into the vortex. Obviously this is impossible and dangerous to attempt so I would be Ok with just JO looking at a tornado. Lets meet up and find out if you are the regular JO bud I need for the job.
no reply without face + dick pics. are you man enough
http://images.craigslist.org/01020401160901041220071023d646cc561d6166b59f00f441 .jpg
http://images.craigslist.org/010107010202010300200710231edb25c6e64abfae9f000449 .jpg
Alaska
10-24-2007, 11:01 AM
But no gay stuff!!! Heh heh. Wonder if this JO knew his pics'd be on sw}:D
That's an....interesting fantasy...
cameron_keys
10-24-2007, 11:11 AM
Why do guys looking to have sex with other guys describe themselves as straight???Do they not now what that means??
Well..heres a handy service:
and theres competition for it:
nice bra dude:
ewwwww.....beef curtains AND a rash:
lizlizliz
10-24-2007, 01:51 PM
Why do guys looking to have sex with other guys describe themselves as straight???Do they not now what that means??
http://keys.craigslist.org/cas/456380335.html
he said straight looking, not straight.
cameron_keys
10-24-2007, 02:17 PM
he said straight looking, not straight.
missed that
pookie
10-24-2007, 03:14 PM
Why do guys looking to have sex with other guys describe themselves as straight???Do they not now what that means??
http://keys.craigslist.org/cas/456380335.html
I love the shaves ball part! hahahaha! just great! LOLOL!
Yekhefah
12-01-2007, 05:17 PM
To the lady handing out Jesus pamphlets to us trick-or-treaters... (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/465979897.html)
Yekhefah
12-01-2007, 05:20 PM
So you're a woman, and you're on a date, right? And you go to the bathroom, and when you come back, your date is making out with another man he just met. You should give him another chance!
beautiful.
12-01-2007, 06:36 PM
Yek, you just made me pee my pants! Hahaha!!!
phillyvixen
12-01-2007, 07:50 PM
http://fortlauderdale.craigslist.org/cas/458204453.html[/url]
[/url]
HAHA I HAVE this bra!
The girls at the club used to like it, its pink with little froggys on it. I got it at walmart :)
Yekhefah
12-03-2007, 12:59 PM
Interested in fashion? Hurry, and could be your boss!
cameron_keys
12-03-2007, 01:02 PM
Interested in fashion? Hurry, and could be your boss!
" Sex binds
Us together and greats trust and loyalty.
If i ever see a rubber you will be fired! "
Fabulous. Where do I sign up??
Fabulous Disaster
12-03-2007, 01:10 PM
To the lady handing out Jesus pamphlets to us trick-or-treaters... (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/465979897.html)
Oh my god. :rofl: This is going in my blog.