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Lola Rose
01-11-2007, 11:37 PM
Thats perfectly acceptable, unless it is a perch or a sturgeon.

or a blowfish, I suppose....:D

pipermarau
01-12-2007, 02:56 AM
i'm not reading all of this but i have a few if they were not already mentioned (or need repeating)

#?? do not stick tip money in your mouth and expect me to dig it out with my mouth, that is sick. i tell everyone who does that that money is filthy and someone just had that in their dirty asscrack or coke line.

#?? MOUTHS OFF AT ALL TIMES!! i cannot stress that enough.

#?? the T&A are my toys. if you insist on touching be nice enough to ASK first.

#?? please don't try to buy/sell drugs from/to us. we'll think you are a cop or obvious dumbass and leave. it is also illegal...

#?? NO means NO no matter what she's saying no about. this applies to touching, dating, wanting another drink, etc.

#?? folding the dollar while tipping on stage is very considerate. i mean just one hotdog fold like what you learn in elementary school. oragami money and tiny one inch dollar squares might be cute to you but they are hard to keep in a garter and possibly spend if it is unfoldable.

#?? please no dirty bedroom talk. its makes us uncomfortable and only comfirms that you are the twisted freak we think you to be.

#?? we are not the waitress so asking us to fetch your drinks and other such things is rude.

#?? remember to tip the waitress and or bartender depending on who serves you your drinks.

#?? if you plan to bring any ladies in a SC make sure they are friendly and well behaved. don't let them give lap dances and turn the place into a karaoke bar. also make sure they don't plan on bitching about every girl that walks by. that will get you ignored.

that's all i've got. this thread is soooo funny too!! i'll remember this the next time one of my friends asks for a tip.

KimberlyJ
01-12-2007, 08:42 AM
I had one last night. I was giving this guy a lap dance and says to me. "Why don't you let me take you away from all of this?" I said why? So I could cook, wash your clothes, and keep house for you? He looked confused, but I still got my tip! ;D

cameronfl
01-12-2007, 09:09 AM
And DONT talk shit about the other girls. That could be my sister or best friend you are tearing apart...it doesnt make me feel prettier. And it might just motivate me to slap you and leave you by yourself....

Star Player
01-14-2007, 08:50 PM
I don't consider looking for otc a major don't - to me it is SOP.

threlayer
01-15-2007, 12:32 PM
So far I disagree with only 2 of these don'ts - thin soft pants and sexy (not crass degrading) talk. It's part of the fantasy you're selling me.

cameronfl
01-15-2007, 01:54 PM
So far I disagree with only 2 of these don'ts - thin soft pants and sexy (not crass degrading) talk. It's part of the fantasy you're selling me.

No...the thin pants are only so the guy can feel more, and likley get off in his pants quicker. NOT a fantasy....reality. If your pants are so thin that I can feel your erection between my thighs...that WAY too close to real for my taste.

CalifSCVisitor65
01-15-2007, 07:52 PM
#?? we are not the waitress so asking us to fetch your drinks and other such things is rude.



Oops my bad, I've asked my ATF to go to the bar and break a hundred for me before. In fact, I've asked several dancers to do that for me before. :-[

ExoticEngineer
01-15-2007, 08:35 PM
So far I disagree with only 2 of these don'ts - thin soft pants and sexy (not crass degrading) talk. It's part of the fantasy you're selling me.

Eww eww eww!!! We do not, at any point and time, want your little friend poking up at us. If you come to get a dance from me wearing those damn silky short and bust a boner, you WILL get an air dance and I will laugh at you for being a tard and showing an entire room full of men your erection. :P

RoseWhite
01-15-2007, 09:27 PM
You know, I just want to say, though, very generally, that I really appreciate the intended spirit of this thread. And I appreciate any male who has stopped in here, whether they've posted or not, to genuinely see if there's anything they can avoid that makes us uncomfortable - any guy who is actually interested in being a better customer.

There are always going to be differences of opinion, and varying regional standards, but if you're a customer who actually wants to be considerate, may the gods bless you. We KNOW there are good guys out there, and I personally want to do my very best for them.

With that in mind: Please, please, PLEASE stop blowing on my defenseless little bare kitty. It drives me to distraction onstage. I may even start up a thread on just that matter. :)

Tart
01-16-2007, 02:48 PM
Until I read this I never really noticed how many of us get the same shit.

IE the dancing.FUCK i hate that! It ruins everything! I want to laugh at it, I cant dance and I keep thinking the bouncers are going to come over and say shit since he's moving around a lot and I work at a no contact club.

The next time someone fucking dances around , does the slide or tries to touch me Im seriously going to look right at them and go " what in the fuck are you doing? " and just stare.

I get that its our "job" but I dont have to put up with retarded as behavior. Im going to call people out.

Im also sick of the leg thing. I dont know how many times its almost caused me to fucking fall. Or worse yet cut off circulation.

The biters on the shoulders, ears and neck..FUCK OFF! the random weird ass attempts at kissing...

Im seriously not putting up with it anymore. I get if you are in a vip room for awhile and you get to know the girl, you start to feel attracted ..blah blah. that stuff I can over look. Because there is a reasoning behind it. But not knowing me and doing it from a "wanna dance" sorta thing...

hell no.

Yah thats right im bitter lol. But why shouldnt I say something? They know what they are doing isnt pleasent. so wtf.

and to the poster that remarked on someones wife saying some shit. I'd have lost it.

Im no ones circus sideshow act, and further more Im no ones whore.

OH and the cow udder thing. WOW, so that guy makes his rounds eh? lol. I had one of those before and dude..seriously I wanted to gag. they had to be an inch long. I get the fact we all have fetishes, but holy hell. prepare my ass!

I'll indulge almost anyone to a certain degree as LONG as I have a heads up . If you wanna dance while I dance for you, just say it or something. Dont get that weird look on your face, grunt and start doing that air hump/ dance.

In defense to those that do these things , like the legs together shit or whatever. Most of these guys do not want to let us know they are aroused. so they try and mask it. Its usually not to hurt us or make us fall. USUALLY. And I do spread their legs and whisper " leave em apart ". it helps.

The dancing is typically so they dont get into the dance. For whatever reason. guys do buy dances because its expected or to show appreciation..or because it was bought for em... But they dont want to get into it...

But the random biters, lickers or grabbers are assholes. Fuck them.

Oh and big ole fuck or what the fuck for the humpers! dude c'mon! aren't you shamed in the least?

High five for not caring but at the same time..Im not a LEG and you arent a mutt.!

cameronfl
01-16-2007, 03:03 PM
OMG..the leg humpers.......WTF is up with that? I've stopped the dance to ask guys if they were part cocker spaniel or to suggest that they get neutered because DAMN. I had a guy a while back that I had to literally PRY off my leg. He was hugging me around the waist humping my leg like a FUCKING dog....complete with the grunting. I told him to stop, but he didnt speak English(although I refuse to believe that he didnt understand me screaming at him NO and STOP) ...so I had to shove him back by the head and step on his foot with my free foot while I pried his arms from around my waist....JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CROSS.....get therapy you fucking freaks.

Mastridonicus
01-16-2007, 04:04 PM
^^ He smells YOUR dog!!! :D

Mastridonicus
01-16-2007, 04:07 PM
On a side note, I remember often being asked if I liked her because I was keeping my hands on the couch. I really REALLY never thought beyond this. I just was comfortable in that position, having my hands put on hips/thighs really made me feel comfortable with the right conversational support that gave me limits, as well as alienated when she just did it, like I wasn't in control of where my money could potentially go.

cameronfl
01-16-2007, 04:08 PM
^^ He smells YOUR dog!!! :D

LOL...this would be funnier if I HAD A dog

lilmisscharisma
01-16-2007, 10:32 PM
yeah a HUGE ONE- really freaked me out. DO NOT SMELL MY HAIR.... it's just weird.

pipermarau
01-17-2007, 07:10 PM
Oops my bad, I've asked my ATF to go to the bar and break a hundred for me before. In fact, I've asked several dancers to do that for me before. :-[

i mean just asking as though you expect her to wait on you hand and foot. requesting change while you continue to spend some money is one thing, demanding she serve you hand and foot and expect her to clean your table, get all your drinks, and salt your food (should the place serve food) is rude. i should have been more clear, my bad. thanks for pointing that out.

Gypsy_Dancer
01-17-2007, 08:10 PM
Please don't wad up money and pretend we are the goal. Getting tipped is wonderful. Getting hit with tips may make us "accidently" kick you in the head with a heavy platform shoe. So the next time you feel the urge, specify if you want the spike or the club.

Also, ripping up money is in poor taste. While we don't mind crawling around picking up the twenty ones you showered us with on stage, crawling around to pick up ten pieces of a twenty will just make us complain about you in the dressing room.

Everyman
01-17-2007, 09:25 PM
yeah a HUGE ONE- really freaked me out. DO NOT SMELL MY HAIR.... it's just weird.

Wow. Really? I do that every time. Every man I know does.

Maybe you shouldn't make it smell so nice and sexy.

2am
01-17-2007, 09:42 PM
yeah a HUGE ONE- really freaked me out. DO NOT SMELL MY HAIR.... it's just weird.

Oh no! I love the smell of a woman's hair. I don't think I can stop that.

Everyman
01-17-2007, 09:54 PM
Oh no! I love the smell of a woman's hair. I don't think I can stop that.

Yeah, somewhere in this thread we guys are going to have to put our foot down, and I think this is the one.

So maybe that would be putting our nose down, but whatever.

CalifSCVisitor65
01-18-2007, 12:16 AM
i mean just asking as though you expect her to wait on you hand and foot. requesting change while you continue to spend some money is one thing, demanding she serve you hand and foot and expect her to clean your table, get all your drinks, and salt your food (should the place serve food) is rude. i should have been more clear, my bad. thanks for pointing that out.

Ok got it, no worries. ;)

AkashaM
01-18-2007, 05:55 AM
yeah a HUGE ONE- really freaked me out. DO NOT SMELL MY HAIR.... it's just weird.of all the things that a customer can do THAT annoys you the most? lol.

That never bothered me...it think its kinda cute whe guys do that. its alot better than getting slobbered on or bitten.

lilmisscharisma
01-18-2007, 07:02 AM
of all the things that a customer can do THAT annoys you the most? lol.

That never bothered me...it think its kinda cute whe guys do that. its alot better than getting slobbered on or bitten.

light sniffing - fine but i have OCD and can't stand breath on my neck- i'll freak out- this guy sniffed really hard like smelled my hair and snorted snot at the same time. then started making almost moan noises but with hot breath.

Yekhefah
01-18-2007, 03:56 PM
Oops. I'm a hair-sniffer myself. I actually have a full-fledged fetish for long, soft, fragrant hair on a woman, and the main thing I want in a lapdance is to feel and smell her hair. I don't snort it, but I do love to breathe in the scent.

ExoticEngineer
01-18-2007, 04:03 PM
"Did you just sniff me?"
"Uhm....yah...I think I did."
"Interesting...."
"did it bug you?"
"No, just don't put your cold nose up my butt, k?"

Mastridonicus
01-19-2007, 11:05 AM
How about throwing a pie?

ExoticEngineer
01-19-2007, 11:21 AM
Only if it's Lemon. maybe Apple.

WhiteTara
01-19-2007, 01:20 PM
Gawd! Customers and their constant requests for pie throwing. Don't you know we're entertainers not clowns? If you want to throw a pie at someone hire a professional. There are plenty of out-call services.

cameronfl
01-19-2007, 01:32 PM
(homer simpson voice) mmmmmmmmm.....lemon pie............

Mastridonicus
01-19-2007, 02:14 PM
Gawd! Customers and their constant requests for pie throwing. Don't you know we're entertainers not clowns? If you want to throw a pie at someone hire a professional. There are plenty of out-call services.

WAITAMINUTE

STOP!

ARE YOU SAYING there's a Blacktara?

WhiteTara
01-19-2007, 09:16 PM
<WAITAMINUTE

STOP!

ARE YOU SAYING there's a Blacktara?>

There's a Green Tara, for sure. There is probably a Black Tara. Maybe a wrathful emanation or something.

Mastridonicus
01-26-2007, 10:20 AM
Maybe a wrathful emanation or something.

So would green be an envious one? Or is the Wrathful Emanation more childlike in it's understanding?

Sultry Siren
01-26-2007, 11:02 AM
Another HUGE don't is Most definitely do NOT spit on your dancer!!!!!

I was at a club in Edmonton and one of the dancers took a VIP and the rotton SOB decided to spit on her:censored:

One of the bouncers literally picked the arse hole up and threw him face plant on the pavement outside and both my hubby were so angry we wanted to do some damage as well....(My hubby was helping the bouncers that night by helping keep an eye on the custys)

To make this short...the dancer who was spat on had her night ruined and was shaken up. No matter what anyone did for her she just wan't on her game for the rest of the night.

To the club's credit they have banned the miserable shit from the club.

Why would anyone want to do that??? In every culture that is considered the biggest insult!!!

WhiteTara
01-26-2007, 01:54 PM
So would green be an envious one? Or is the Wrathful Emanation more childlike in it's understanding?

White Tara: http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t117/WhiteTara_photos/White20Tara202003.jpg
Green Tara: http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t117/WhiteTara_photos/green_tara.jpg

Tara when some asshat makes a swipe at her Mother Nature: http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t117/WhiteTara_photos/red_tara_kurukulla_tg54.jpg

Mastridonicus
01-26-2007, 03:20 PM
*puts the bunny down*

*pets the grass in fear*

PookaShell
01-26-2007, 05:39 PM
This thread has had my room mate yelling through the wall "what are you laughing at in there?" Haha. All of the above are SO true.

(especially the hitting us with old fish, one...come one..FRESH, please?)

But one that isnt mentioned that I get ALOT -

When my back is too them, alot of guys will grab my hair, pull it up like a ponytail with their ands and YANK the shit out of it. It phucken hurts, and they all get the bitchPooka for it...but people keep doing it.

Also, when a customer is being grabby and I have to literally yank his hand away, he apologizes and then tries again 3 seconds later, and when I go to yank his hand away I have to literally put all of my force and FIGHT his hand off, and they think its funny. Yeah...I'm just a little 18 year old girl and you're a 350 pound man...don't you feel proud that you are stronger than me? Boo!

Gypsy_Dancer
01-27-2007, 07:37 PM
trying to offer us more money for services we won't provide, please don't start whining "but so-and-so does it/lets me do it" when we won't do something that you want

Yeah, if that's the case, go get a dance from "so-and-so". Don't insult me by thinking I'll get dirtier if you offer enough money. If you already have a girl willing to do whatever, then go back to her.:smiley_an

terbite
01-27-2007, 09:40 PM
I hope nobody said we arent allowd to whip it out.


This and one other of your three (so far) postings clearly fall into the category of "outcast mentality." So kindly, please, knock it off. Thank you.

- Da Mods

Deogol
01-27-2007, 11:59 PM
Shouldn't this thread be called "What can I do to make strippers like me?"

Minette
01-28-2007, 11:33 PM
Shouldn't this thread be called "What can I do to make strippers like me?"

naah, just "What I can do to try and make strippers not hate me?" ;)

UtahMike
02-02-2007, 01:35 AM
What did I just read? You expect to give a me a fantastic lap dance, but I am not supposed to get an erection? /:O

I always thought that dancers would be insulted if I DIDN'T get an erection and would make mean, degrading remarks about me in the dressing room.

RoseWhite
02-02-2007, 08:00 AM
Mike, I don't know which post you are referring to, exactly, but I don't think any of us here could possibly be phased by the mere existence of a hard-on. It's what you DO with it, potentially, that can become an issue. Like accentuating its every vein and curve by wearing parachute pants sans underwear, like whipping it out of ANY pants, like trying to bounce us up and down on it, and so forth.

Djoser
02-02-2007, 09:12 AM
There wasn't any post complaining about guys' erections.

Just the ones that are covered with the kind of material worn deliberately by cretins to maximize stimulation, like silk jogging shorts, etc.

And the tendency for complete, total losers to dance back while sitting there and hump upwards, like they are reenacting their first dry-humping session over in the corner during a junior high school dance.

The notion clung to by some guys--that the customer is entitled by sacred covenant to have his precious little hardon gleefully welcomed and fawned over--is one that unfortunately won't be going away anytime soon.

It makes me really appreciate even more the fact that our club doesn't allow any grinding whatsoever, as I just discovered last night--much to my surprise (having been there 5-6 months now). I had assumed since we were in Florida and the guys were allowed to feel the dancers' breasts that it was included. Actually I'm not even sure they can feel the breasts, come to think of it.

No wonder the women seem so much happier in this club than any other I have ever worked in...

UtahMike
02-03-2007, 11:34 PM
Well, that's a load off my mind!

But it only answers half of my question. What if the custy DOESN'T get a hardon? Do you think there is something wrong with him?

jaizaine
02-03-2007, 11:37 PM
Well, that's a load off my mind!

But it only answers half of my question. What if the custy DOESN'T get a hardon? Do you think there is something wrong with him?

Like who cares?
We still get our money and what happens down there is no interest to me.

nychaos99
02-07-2007, 11:42 AM
It would have to at LEAST be a hundy. I'm all joke and show hun, anything less would get my very tender nuts stomped I am sure.




This had to be an old man. I mean he HIS paying and all. :D It's ok, you need to substitute creative thinking in these situations. Like imagining the poor things the shop vac at his house could talk about if it had a mouth.



Funny Answer? He's just doing what to you what's been happing in the confessionals since the 50's.

Honest answer? Think about the pose your in when that happens. He's not trying to catch you off your game, he's trying to find Jimmy Hoffa. This exchange was suggested to me by a guy sitting next to me in Odyssey 2001.
"If you spread your legs and they fall through and squeeze, you can catch it spread wide open."
"Excuse me... what?...nevermind."

:O Holy Crap Mastro, that was a funny ass post. I had to take a hit from the bong and re-read what you said, just to understand it!
Hilarious!:rotfl: :rotfl:
....you're very tender nuts... ha ha ha!

xoxoGracexoxo
02-08-2007, 11:12 AM
I'd like to say I am touched by the spirit of this thread, and by all customers who want to avoid making us uncomfortable. It's sweet.

Just to add to what others have said:

Kindly DO NOT restrain your dancer if she is trying to move away. Obviously, this includes grabbing us and trying to *force* any part of us onto your erection, but it also includes forcible "cuddling" before and after a dance. Like, after you pay me and I want to get up and leave, don't put both arms tightly around me and hold me on the couch like you are a Titanic survivor and I am a floating piece of wreckage. It's creepy, OK? If you want more of my time and more contact with my hot, hot body, just buy another dance. Otherwise, turn me loose, bro.

Pay me what you owe me and don't make a big deal about it. Know how much money you have BEFORE you buy 15 dances, because I don't *care* if the ATM fee is unreasonable -- you should have thought of that before, and I am GOING to get the money out of you.

Don't pretend you're not going to pay me. It's not funny. It's happened for real too many times.

Don't stick your hand up under my skirt and grab my ass *as* you tell me that you don't want a private dance.

Don't ask me out. Don't ask me out. Don't ask me out. I don't care if it's your "SOP" -- this thread is about the things that annoy us most, and that's one of them.

noctina
02-08-2007, 01:47 PM
"Don't stick your hand up under my skirt and grab my ass *as* you tell me that you don't want a private dance."


THANK YOU, GRACE!!! i was going to post that myself. it is my biggest pet peeve.

it pisses me off when a guy is trying to grope me DURING a dance that he paid for! but when some complete stranger walks up and thinks he has the right to put his hands all over me as if he's my boyfriend, and HE'S NOT EVEN SPENDING A DIME.... i will seriously flip the fuck out. who the hell do you think you are??? i don't care if you paid cover charge and bought a beer, that doesn't mean you have a free pass to molest every stripper in the club while they go home with no money. i don't go to the club just to walk around and get molested all night for the FUN OF IT.

seriously... when a non-paying customer gets a free grope, my blood absolutely boils. i want to just grab their sneaky disgusting little hand and break their fingers off!!! i feel completely disrespected and insulted, like they are saying "i don't have to spend anything, who cares about you, you are just a worthless doll for my enjoyment because i stepped foot in the club"

i also totally second the whole atm thing. its a waste of time for us to stand at the atm machine with you and wait. and we can't leave your side until you give us the money, because so many guys are assholes and will just bolt out the door without paying. its such a hassle... make sure you have enough money!

Quickwit
02-08-2007, 10:52 PM
What about acting like you only have one arm and holding the other one on your side and putting your hand down your pants... Is that ok?
HEHEHEHE