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View Full Version : I will never give birth in a hospital



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AlexxaHex
02-14-2007, 12:35 AM
*hides under the bed*

What freaks me out is that so many women WANT this procedure done because so many doctors pressure them into it, or they think that it will be less painful. Yikes!! Thank you for sharing, Krazyjane.

Krazyjane
02-14-2007, 12:46 AM
*hides under the bed*

What freaks me out is that so many women WANT this procedure done because so many doctors pressure them into it, or they think that it will be less painful. Yikes!! Thank you for sharing, Krazyjane.
You're welcome. I'm not trying to be a Bradley Method Nazi or anything, but I do want women to know that a C-section isn't easier, adn that it's only really better in emergencies.

Average blood loss for a vaginal birth is 250-500 mL. For C-section, it's up to a liter. God, they used so many gauze pads during the surgery.

Yekhefah
02-14-2007, 12:58 AM
yekefah, why do you want a non-white woman (particularly asian and of an asian ethnicity that white americans PARTICULARLY adopt PARTICULARLY female babies from) to 'have your daughter'? that is an alarmingly colonialist and patronising way to word that already problematic desire.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that is NOT what I said and that is definitely not what I meant. I think I was drunk when I posted that so I can understand how it didn't come out right, sorry! I think I was just commenting on how wild it is to think that there is another woman out there I've never even met, and we're going to be different kinds of mothers to the same child.

I decided to adopt from China when I was a teenager. I've never had any interest in giving birth myself; I've always planned to adopt, and I've simply felt called to China adoptions. I know it will be a daughter for the simple fact that it's abandoned girls filling up Chinese orphanages. I also have two cousins adopted from China and have studied quite a bit of Chinese history and culture, so she would not be completely cut off from her heritage.

So sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I just think adoption makes so much better sense than birth.

EDIT: I just went back and read the post in question, and now I'm confused as to how you got that impression. I clearly stated that I'm enormously grateful for this and that I have the utmost respect and admiration for women who sacrifice so much of themselves to have babies they won't even get to raise.

Krazyjane
02-14-2007, 01:05 AM
I decided to adopt from China when I was a teenager. I've never had any interest in giving birth myself; I've always planned to adopt, and I've simply felt called to China adoptions. I know it will be a daughter for the simple fact that it's abandoned girls filling up Chinese orphanages. I also have two cousins adopted from China and have studied quite a bit of Chinese history and culture, so she would not be completely cut off from her heritage.

So sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I just think adoption makes so much better sense than birth.
Yeah, I knew that you had previous experience with Chinese language and culture. It's good that you'll be able to acquaint the kid with some of her heritage. I'm half Japanese but wasn't taught much about that side and was the only Asian in my school growing up. Hehe, I'm so white that I listen to Lynard Skynard while driving my Ford Crown Victoria. I can really relate to adopted Asian kids, because we're Asian heritage-wise, but not Asian culture-wise. It's really awkward, as a lot of Asian ethnicities are nationalities as well. We don't quite fit in with people of the same ethnicity. I think that it's great that you're willing to help a kid be in both of her worlds.

Yekhefah
02-14-2007, 10:13 AM
^^^ My friend is the same way, was adopted from Korea and grew up in Florida, and knows SFA about Korea. My cousins go to Chinese school. They're very much rural Tennessee kids, they have thick Southern accents and they like fishing and going to church, but they also learn Mandarin songs and Chinese history too. Seems like the best way to handle it!

kylie3183
02-14-2007, 12:27 PM
I don't know. Maybe I just got lucky. My birthing experience was at the hospital and other than contractions sucking, the hospital I was at was great. I had a quick labor (4 hours total), but all of the drs and nurses were nice and personable. The hospital rooms were set up more like a normal room, and all of the medical equipment was hidden in wooden cabinets so when they weren't using it, you didn't have to look at it. I was free to get out of bed (until i had my epidural). In fact it was encouraged. They even had birthing tubs if you wanted one. If I ever have another child, I would not hesitate going back to this hospital and the same ob/gyn I had. I think I must've gotten lucky though after hearing some of the other stories though.

I'm scared to death of sugery and can't imagine signing up for it....... eeeeekk!!!

Krazyjane
02-16-2007, 01:10 PM
I thank God we have a great team on our birthing floor!!!! We really do. The hospital KJ talks about sounds like it should be shut down for the love of god.

It's not that the people don't care it's that this is a county hospital. Most of the people are on Medicaid. Although hospitals are notorious money-grubbers, money is an issue, and so are possible complications.

This hospital gets a lot of pregnant teens with tiny hips (it's not at all unusual to see a 14-year old girl with a baby's daddy 10 or more years her senior. In some cultures, older men are seen as able to 'take care of her."), lots of recent immigrants who have had no prenatal care whatsoever and have no concept of birth plans or nutrition, lots of uneducated people who think nothing of snorting lines or drinking alcohol during pregnancy, the occasional psychopath who will kick the nurses and doctors in their faces, criminals who come to give birth and require an armed guard to be present, etc. You have to be prepared for all these cases. They also pretty much have to assume all responsibility for a lot of these underprivileged patients because they don't know much. Even if the woman was a shitty mother who neglected her baby during pregnancy, doctors are still held reposisible for the outcome because people on juries look at cute little babies and immediately feel sorry. Point in case: a friend of mine was anorexic while pregnant because she didn't want to get fat, and her kid came out with cerebral palsy, surprise surprise. She still tried to pull a lawsuit.

Also, I've seen a few more births at the smae hospital that went better. There are other doctors who are less invasive, and there are women who have the brains and initiative to assert themselves and demand to be empowered. Seriously, knowledge is power. If you don't take responsibility, then somebody else will have to do so, and they're going to be brink because they're also responsible for a lot more people.

Krazyjane
03-01-2007, 12:49 AM
I just found out that the statute of limitations for OBGYN is... get ready for it... 21 YEARS! Stupid litigatious society. No wonder so many doctors and nurses are foreign, especially L&D docs and Filipino nurses! They don't know what kind of shit they're getting into! Face it, juries are full of people too dumb to get out of it. They're going to look at a cute little baby and fall all over the sob story.

L&D is not for me.

sc0101
03-01-2007, 09:18 AM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Bq1dPi1eNjc as much as everyone hates anna nicole smith... this looks fuckign terrifying!!


Shit I feel stupid to admit that made me cry, but I will. That was an emotionally and physically traumatic event, and her just saying "I want to see my baby" made me feel so sad for her recent death.

RusCountess
03-01-2007, 09:38 AM
I also have two cousins adopted from China and have studied quite a bit of Chinese history and culture, so she would not be completely cut off from her heritage.


That's the only thing I wish my adoptive parents had done differently. I wish they would have been able to teach me more about my heritage, or at least teach me some of the language. Still I don't blame them. They're awesome people and I'm lucky to be their daughter. If you can teach your adopted child where they come from, it will help them immensely. :)

As for childbirth...it has scared the crap out of me since I first got the "where babies come from" speech. I would like to have a kid or two someday, but the thought of pregnancy, labor and all the hazards and pain that go with it makes me wonder if I could ever do it. I normally don't mind pain, but for some reason I dread childbirth. :-\

LatinaRose
03-01-2007, 11:12 AM
Wow, I just read this entire thread for the first time. I thought I was scared to have a child before!! Thanks, KJ, for posting your experiences. You've definitely encouraged me to explore all my options when I decide to have a baby.

madmaxine
03-01-2007, 04:23 PM
last november after thanksgiving my sister had to be in the hospital for a emercency surgery to take out her apendicks and gullbladder. there was this young girl in there that was 19 weeks preganant and she started to notice her water was linking and she tryed to contact the nurses or a doctor with that botton on the bed but no one came in to check on her or anything and she lost her baby. my sister told her to sue them but dont know if she did or not. i dont want to give birth at merced hospital they went down hill after mercy took over. i am going to try to have my baby in modesto there is a hospital that is good there im just hopeing they take medical.

Oh my f*cking GOD! I was there several days ago. I saw some freaky stuff (in Emergency Waiting Room) while I was waiting for hours...Lucky for me I didn't need further treatment. I had a feeling it was a GOOD thing....

I suggest you move out of Merced County...It's no place for young people to stay. It's not going to improve for a while, U.C. Merced will take forever to come up.