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Tart
02-04-2007, 04:21 PM
i thinks its astounding that she wants Lena to say hi or something when Lena pointed out she had once sent her a threating PM lol

O man..

Emily
02-04-2007, 04:38 PM
I had do some cleaning up. I think this thread is interesting and I want to keep it open, so let's play nice without personal attacks/insults.

sxc_gia
02-04-2007, 04:46 PM
I'm just curious, Sophie, how old are you? Assuming you've been dancing for ten years, hopefully you weren't 15 when you started, your around 30-ish? Your seriously asking us what to do? At that age, how are you with a man who lives at home?

Also, after ten years of dancing, you don't have ANY money saved up AND your loans aren't paid? Your doing something wrong..

My opinion anyways.

short skirts
02-06-2007, 01:52 AM
Personal attacks on SM aren't helping the situation here c'mon now.....

YES she is broke, in a bad relationship, asking for advice, scared, alone, amongst other persoanl issues she has.

Give her credit for at least asking the cackling hens for advice when every time it only leads to more insults.

Why not try to help her or at least keep the rude comments inside yourhead?

She already feels bad enough and is seeking help...we're all humans here. Show a tiny bit of empathy if it doesn't hurt too much.

Sophie you haven't answered if you've left him yet so I'm assuming the answer is no. If you're not happy, you need to make a plan and stick to it. Don't settle for less than you're worth or let anyone make you believe you're worth less than you really are. Don't settle, he's not going to magically make you happy one day. Happiness comes from within.When you're happy with yourself you'll be happy in your relationships and will feel more valued.........think about it. Get out of this downward spiral before you're completely sucked in like the sewer. It's all about you.........

sxc_gia
02-06-2007, 02:17 AM
Personal attacks on SM aren't helping the situation here c'mon now.....

YES she is broke, in a bad relationship, asking for advice, scared, alone, amongst other persoanl issues she has.

Give her credit for at least asking the cackling hens for advice when every time it only leads to more insults.

Why not try to help her or at least keep the rude comments inside yourhead?

She already feels bad enough and is seeking help...we're all humans here. Show a tiny bit of empathy if it doesn't hurt too much.

The fact that she is broke, in a bad relationship, scared, alone, etc. lays on her own shoulders. She is in charge of her own destiny, and quite frankly, she makes the impression that she is on top of her game, a very good hustler (see below, copied from another post "Partying with the Russians"), not a racist (although she has said that Russian girls are "Rather slutty and not in the industry at all.", "Orthodox Russian's are the most racist of all.", something about Latino's, etc., that it's very cold in NYC and it's fur time (assuming she wouldn't say that unless she's wearing one)... Blah blah blah. I've seen all the attemps ladies made trying to reach out to this girl, and all they get in return is excuses, excuses and some more excuses. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this very much sounds like someone is trying to get some kind of attencion, and congratulations girl, you got it, but I wouldn't really be proud of that.

Honestly, I don't wish anything hateful upon anyone, God bless you, I do hope this is all a cry for attencion, if not, hope everything works out.

(BTW, I've had family members pass away, and the last thing I would do is go and POST it online.)

Just my piece of mind, and I am entitled to it.

Thank you.


Orhtodox Russians are the worest, the are TRUE RACIST by nature. Being that I am black American I am clean as hell, great hustler (do you need a class?) and I am always on pointe.
I love Russia I love the King of Prussia.

short skirts
02-06-2007, 02:37 AM
Maybe she's not the sharpest tool in the shed but I think she deserves a chance and if not that then she at least deserves to not be cracked on every time she comes here.
Maybe she has no friends. Imagine that feeling of loneliness and questioning self-worth.

All I'm saying is that the rude cracks at her aren't getting anyone anywhere. If she is all these bad things, don't put yourself down to that level by calling her out. I actually think it's harder to NOT say anything at all.

If she is an attention lover she's got what she wants b/c you're buyng it when you respond, even if it's negative. Obviously she needs attention b/c she's coming here complaining of not having any friends.

sometimes I wonder what's worse...SM with all her pities and problems or all the cackling hens crowing at her every time she's here.

Nothing like kicking someone when they're down. Idk how that makes anyone feel good. I'm actually guilty of doing it once or twice myself and I felt bad about it ever since and now I wonder how that makes anyone feel good.

The post of hers stating that Russian girls are slutty was not right, I agree 100%.
She doesn't take jabs at people all the time though.

short skirts
02-06-2007, 02:39 AM
If this IS a cry for attention, in what way does all the negativity benefit her or anyone else?

Tart
02-06-2007, 04:49 AM
some people do not care what sort of attention they get as long as they get some form.

Sorta like there is no such thing as bad publicity

Sirona
02-06-2007, 05:11 AM
Give her credit for at least asking the cackling hens for advice when every time it only leads to more insults.



She doesn't want advice. She wants attention. It's like having a 2 year old around. Memememememememe! Over here! Memememememe!

jasmine
02-06-2007, 06:31 AM
If this IS a cry for attention, in what way does all the negativity benefit her or anyone else?

I completely agree here. She admits to having an eating disorder, which is one of the most horrible things to have to live through. Totally wrecks your self-esteem and your entire life. As for friends, all of us here should know that they can be hard to hold on to when your in this business, even girls that don't know what we do can become jealous and catty.

I've read her posts, some aren't bad, & if she is suffering from a severe eating disorder a whole bunch of phsychological issues come along. I think we should all try to control ourselves and not go into attack mode immediately. It's simple to just NOT POST anything if you can't be CIVIL.

Sirona
02-06-2007, 08:18 AM
I guess the way I look at it is she doesn't need coddling, she needs a fucking reality check before her behavior kills her.

sophiemarie
02-06-2007, 09:06 AM
Here I am....
No this is not a cry for help and thank you Emily for defending me on these lude comments from the people. I am actually going to audition tonight at a few clubs in the city. I am trying to solve my issues, Rome was not built in one day.
I started dancing my sophmore year in college, I was 22.
I made alot and spent alot of myself, vacations, the plastic surgeon and before there was this boyfriend, I supported one for 5 years.
I am a smart person, otherwise I would not have a BA for Christs SAKE. I do have something to put on the table and paper which equals more than 100 lap dances and VIP rooms I can sell.
I have been down in the dumps lately, it happends to the best of us, I can admit it to.
At least I CAN ADMIT TO BEING HUMAN. And living is not always easy, as we all know even if we don't want to admit to it.
I am taking life as it comes, as far as the new dude, screw him.
I will be out of this rut sooner than later because I am putting my foot down and I refuse to be a failure. I desire change so it will happen.
Thank you to all of those who listen and respond with love.
As far as my cousins death-----it's a true reality. i never thought it could happen to anyone I was related to. I will tell people if it will help them
I thought we are a helping community ladies?
I am not here to dis anyone or tear them down, I believe in Karma. And who the hell am I to insult anyone here----
Stay peaceful and positive.

TheSexKitten
02-06-2007, 09:42 AM
Nobody here has ANY reason to be making those cracks about bulimia. An eating disorder isn't funny.

All other cracks are perfectly welcome and possibly deserved. :D

christian211
02-06-2007, 11:24 AM
The thing is, I've seen some rather insulting posts from you yourself so maybe THIS is karma. I think overall you don't mean harm, but alot of times you tend to type before you think. I don't mean this in an insulting manner, but why is it that you respond to any post about weight, eating, dieting, etc.. w/ " just get lipo"? Sometimes your response is soooo out of left field it's crazy. Most here don't find some body tweaking a bad thing, but you seem to have an unhealthy obsession w/ it.
The thing about the Russian girls was def not cool. You say you're half black. Then you, of all people, should realize you're stirring the pot w/ your prejudice comments:(
Also, your writing tends to be all over the place, talking about dieting then right after bringing up how you have to wax your car tomorrow. Like, uhh, what? Where did that come from?
And, lastly, a BA does not a smart person make. That just proves that that person had enough drive, determination, and motivation to get through four years of schooling. There are plenty of people who DON'T have a BA+ and are brilliant. *Another prejudice*
You ask for advice but then come up w/ 101 reasons why those solutions are not feasible at this point in time. Then why start the thread?

I think Sirona hit the nail on the head- you are immature for your age. I don't think most of the girls mean harm in their/our posts. We're just trying to figure out where you're coming from. You're like an enigma;)

Emily
02-06-2007, 12:03 PM
more cleaning done (if you were deleted, it might be because you replied to something that was deleted)...sophie's taking a little break for awhile too

rozz
02-06-2007, 12:08 PM
sophie's taking a little break for awhile too

Yay for Emily!!!

short skirts
02-06-2007, 01:06 PM
Sophie my man says he feels for ya..........

and he said he hopes you ace the audition tonight

I'm glad you're getting out to go do it as well, god luck hun

no need to defend yourself to those who are rude to you

some ppl need to dis others to make them feel better about their own miserable lives, even when they act like their lives are perfect


intelligence has nothing to do with eating disorders or bad relationships, I realize that

stop the negativity ppl


about her not wanting advice and only wanting attention like a 2 year old let me spell it out: she has an eating disorder.....what does that tell you?

no need to compare an adult w/ problems to a 2 year old...how insulting and just plain rude

idk how those statements make anyone feel better

imagine if she were your sister, would you continue in the same fashion?

then again don't answer that

Sirona
02-06-2007, 01:15 PM
Sophie my man says he feels for ya..........

and he said he hopes you ace the audition tonight

I'm glad you're getting out to go do it as well, god luck hun

no need to defend yourself to those who are rude to you

some ppl need to dis others to make them feel better about their own miserable lives, even when they act like their lives are perfect


intelligence has nothing to do with eating disorders or bad relationships, I realize that

stop the negativity ppl


about her not wanting advice and only wanting attention like a 2 year old let me spell it out: she has an eating disorder.....what does that tell you?

no need to compare an adult w/ problems to a 2 year old...how insulting and just plain rude

idk how those statements make anyone feel better

imagine if she were your sister, would you continue in the same fashion?

then again don't answer that

I had a good friend who starved herself down to about 85lbs. I watched her on a dailey basis as her body struggled to work. She ended up covered in fine hair had the bloated stomache you see on starving people etc.

I know 1st hand what eating disorders are and what they do to people. I seriously am amazed she didn't die.

Know what though? I was just as flat out honest and blunt with her as I was here. It has nothing to do with wanting to be mean to make myself feel better it has to do with not encouraging the attention seeking that's just another symptom of her mental issue.

She's been encouraged to death.
She's been sent supportive messages and well wishes.

Anyone here see it helping? I sure don't I see it just getting worse. Now you can keep telling her it's ok and to get help and aw you poor thing it's so tough and everyone quit being mean...

It's not helpful to her in any way. You may as well be helping her purge/starve.

jasmine
02-06-2007, 01:41 PM
I had a good friend who starved herself down to about 85lbs. I watched her on a dailey basis as her body struggled to work. She ended up covered in fine hair had the bloated stomache you see on starving people etc.

I know 1st hand what eating disorders are and what they do to people. I seriously am amazed she didn't die.

Know what though? I was just as flat out honest and blunt with her as I was here. It has nothing to do with wanting to be mean to make myself feel better it has to do with not encouraging the attention seeking that's just another symptom of her mental issue.

She's been encouraged to death.
She's been sent supportive messages and well wishes.

Anyone here see it helping? I sure don't I see it just getting worse. Now you can keep telling her it's ok and to get help and aw you poor thing it's so tough and everyone quit being mean...

It's not helpful to her in any way. You may as well be helping her purge/starve.

If you were as blunt as you have been here, I am seriously suprised she didn't die. Stress makes eating disorders worse, confrontations, disapproval, and the like ALL make eating disorders WAY WORSE.

I didn't cross the threshold into ED until someone confronted me saying they thought I had a problem. This was done by a girl who was "blunt" as well. She wasn't very nice about it. I was so ashamed and humiliated I wanted to die. This is when things got really bad and it took years begin to recover.

SM may not be your favorite person, but try to have a little empathy. Most of the attacks I've seen on here could be a major trigger for anyone with an ED. (Go ahead and insert your own comment about how she should be stronger or whatever, but try to realize bulimia is a Disease, it's not something anyone wants or asks for.)

christian211
02-06-2007, 01:53 PM
I had a good friend who starved herself down to about 85lbs. I watched her on a dailey basis as her body struggled to work. She ended up covered in fine hair had the bloated stomache you see on starving people etc.

I know 1st hand what eating disorders are and what they do to people. I seriously am amazed she didn't die.

Know what though? I was just as flat out honest and blunt with her as I was here. It has nothing to do with wanting to be mean to make myself feel better it has to do with not encouraging the attention seeking that's just another symptom of her mental issue.

She's been encouraged to death.
She's been sent supportive messages and well wishes.

Anyone here see it helping? I sure don't I see it just getting worse. Now you can keep telling her it's ok and to get help and aw you poor thing it's so tough and everyone quit being mean...

It's not helpful to her in any way. You may as well be helping her purge/starve.


^^^ True. Enabling won't help. I had Bulimia from the ages of 15-23. My parents knew, however, being from a diff time and place/culture ( Portuguese), they just saw it as a nasty quirk/:O They never seeked help for me b/c they thought I'd outgrow it. Fast forward to the age of 17/18 and my then bf now husband says, after a day of 21, 21! valium and catching me purge, we're going to the dr.'s. He dragged me, literally, to my then shrink and said, basically, " she's a good person I know, but fix this bitch". Lol, actually those were his exact words. He was just so fed up at that point w/ my bs. That initial hospitalization didn't 'cure' me, but a few months later, I was on my way;) You know what didn't help? People going," but, sweetie, you're gorgeous, you don't need to do that", or, " gosh darnit, you're so smart, don't do that!" WTF! I slip up maybe a few times a year, but I'm basically fine now.
Oh, and I've been diagnosed clinically w/ 'major depression' ( not my term, that's what they really call it, lol), generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. So, nobody try to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.
My post wasn't even nasty, however, you having not read what she posted before it got yanked, can't even realize that what she said was 10x's worse than my post.

Oh, and for the record, I'm 26 and on my way to my BA, if I could ever stop popping out kids, lol ( for those who caught the post).

Thanks much, and like my 'mood' states, ' I'm innocent!'8)

short skirts
02-06-2007, 02:05 PM
Jasmine's right on.

If encouraging SM didn't help her then so be it but who are you ppl to constatly pick on her?

Do you think that helps at all?

No it doesn't. So why not try ignoring her if you can't find somehting nice/positive to say?

There really is no excuse as we're all adults here. Nobody's perfect but we all should try our best to help, not discourage others....or learn to simply stay quiet if there's nothing good to come of it.

Please and thank you.

rozz
02-06-2007, 02:06 PM
Oh, and for the record, I'm 26 and on my way to my BA, if I could ever stop popping out kids, lol ( for those who caught the post).


Dammit, woman, stop trying to have a stereotypical stripper-race with me. I will have my babydaddy beat your coked ass up. :D

Sirona
02-06-2007, 02:08 PM
If you were as blunt as you have been here, I am seriously suprised she didn't die. Stress makes eating disorders worse, confrontations, disapproval, and the like ALL make eating disorders WAY WORSE.

I didn't cross the threshold into ED until someone confronted me saying they thought I had a problem. This was done by a girl who was "blunt" as well. She wasn't very nice about it. I was so ashamed and humiliated I wanted to die. This is when things got really bad and it took years begin to recover.

SM may not be your favorite person, but try to have a little empathy. Most of the attacks I've seen on here could be a major trigger for anyone with an ED. (Go ahead and insert your own comment about how she should be stronger or whatever, but try to realize bulimia is a Disease, it's not something anyone wants or asks for.)

Uh it wasn't like it was a big secret, she talked about it all the time.
Sorry but i'm not going to stand around for a long period of time patting someone on the back telling 'em it's ok when it isn't.

Incidentally she (my friend) thanked me for my honesty and appreciated the fact that I didn't tiptoe around her or enable her by making excuse (it's not her fault! It's a disease) for her.

Ya, it's a disease. One with treatment available. She's either going to step up and take control and responsibility for her life and the things she does or she won't. I'm not going to kiss her ass if she choses the latter.

As for empathy, I have it for people who TRY. I see no attepmt on her part to change the things going on in her life that are negative. I see her making excuses as to why she can't and then asking for sympathy.

Fuck that shit.

ps - If telling the truth is picking on her than i'm guilty.

short skirts
02-06-2007, 02:27 PM
Ya, it's a disease. One with treatment available. She's either going to step up and take control and responsibility for her life and the things she does or she won't. I'm not going to kiss her ass if she choses the latter.

As for empathy, I have it for people who TRY. I see no attepmt on her part to change the things going on in her life that are negative. I see her making excuses as to why she can't and then asking for sympathy.

Fuck that shit.

ps - If telling the truth is picking on her than i'm guilty.

Noone's asking you to kiss anyone's ass b/c she doesn't get treatment.just don't talk smack to her. Pretty simple.
it seems to me her eatng disorder stems from feelings of low self esteem and y'all sure aren't helping that any. Why would she think to go get treatment when she's constantly feeling bad which makes the condition progress?

About empathy: why do you only have it for people who try to your standards? I think she does try. She comes here and puts up with all the smack talking here. I think that says a lot. At least she's reaching out. We're not doctors and we can't help her but we can refrain from the crass comments and continue the encouragement to go get help.

Beside all that, emapthy is understanding as a human what another is going through and trying to identify yourself with that. That being said, if she were I, you ppl sure wouldn't be helping. Let's not forget one thing here: she has a disorder. Things aren't right in her head and the way she thinks isn't how we think. Help her or don't but pls stop talkin smack.

Also I don't see her asking for anyone's sympathy/pity. She just tells it like it is and asks questions. She never asked anyone to feel sorry for her.

shasta
02-06-2007, 02:33 PM
SM, you can always look up someone's age in their profile.

Sirona
02-06-2007, 02:43 PM
Noone's asking you to kiss anyone's ass b/c she doesn't get treatment.just don't talk smack to her. Pretty simple.
it seems to me her eatng disorder stems from feelings of low self esteem and y'all sure aren't helping that any. Why would she think to go get treatment when she's constantly feeling bad which makes the condition progress?

About empathy: why do you only have it for people who try to your standards? I think she does try. She comes here and puts up with all the smack talking here. I think that says a lot. At least she's reaching out. We're not doctors and we can't help her but we can refrain from the crass comments and continue the encouragement to go get help.

Beside all that, emapthy is understanding as a human what another is going through and trying to identify yourself with that. That being said, if she were I, you ppl sure wouldn't be helping. Let's not forget one thing here: she has a disorder. Things aren't right in her head and the way she thinks isn't how we think. Help her or don't but pls stop talkin smack.

Also I don't see her asking for anyone's sympathy/pity. She just tells it like it is and asks questions. She never asked anyone to feel sorry for her.

I guess that's where our opinions of the situation differ greatly. I don't see her comming here and posting as her reaching out. I see it as attention getting and nothing more.

I mean hell in her other thread where she says she wants help for her eating disorder I told her a really good way to go about getting it (taking into account her money issue). She flat out shot it down. Someone gave another. She shot that down too. I see people CONSTANTLY telling her how to get the help she needs.

She
does
not
want
it.

There in lies my lack of sympathy for her.
Her actions speak much louder than her words.

I don't have symapthy for people who are UNWILLING (not unable) to take any sort of steps towards fixing the things wrong in thier lives. The whole pity party thing is completely pointless.

*shrug*

I'm always the first person to help a person out if they show some sort of initiative. If they don't then there isn't any point.