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Bridgette
01-30-2007, 08:18 AM
mina, hav you considered that maybe a lot of the girls at work really dont care about the actual incident but are using it as an excuse to hate on you because, as you mentioned, do more dances than them?

so dont take it too much to heart, a lot of the hating could just be bandwagon jumpers :)
Bingo. When you're the top earner in a little club like that, the girls will look for ANY reason to hate you. It sounds to me like these chics are totally overreacting - because it's just their excuse to hate you. It wouldn't matter what you did, they'd find some excuse, or just make something up.

If you can ride it out they'll get over it or at least back off after a while.

Jenny
01-30-2007, 09:05 AM
You might consider that a) if you are really noticing and feeling it, you might be more into the drama than what you think. b) if EVERY girl hates hates you, it isn't because of one incident, no matter how indiscreet and inappropriate. And - it's unlikely to be because you sell more dances. I do remember being in this situation and when I was told I was all "But I'm so sweet and nice. Why would anyone ever dislike me?" and I felt very innocent and like the only POSSIBLE explanation was that I made more money than they did. Once I had a few months distance... I kind of remembered/worked out that maybe I wasn't coming across as sweet and nice as I thought, and those incidents that seemed to me to be aberrations in my usual behaviour might not have seemed to aberrant to the girls I was working with. In a nutshell - they had a point. I'm not accusing you of anything, it's just that it is sometimes hard to see our behaviour the way other people do.

Krazyjane
01-30-2007, 10:09 AM
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/bi/bitchitorial04Jun06.shtml

mina loy
01-30-2007, 11:22 PM
^^ good article.

Bella21
01-30-2007, 11:37 PM
something similar is happening to me right now. i supposidly "stole" this chick's regular. From the get go she told me that on the days he came in and she wasn't there- he was mine. the girl is strung out on drugs- no joke. and one of the girls came in and saw me and him when she wasn't there and called the other chick and she came in and flipped out on me. In my eyes I didn't do a damn thing wrong. She ok'd it in the first place. But she came in and was screaming about how I "fucked with her money" and I got $500 of "her money". The bitch threw a quarter at me when I was on stage and was talking crap about me to the customers- So, I told my manager "if you don't make her stop it's not going to be fun" I have a short temper and would've smacked her in the face if I wouldn't have lost my job. So they are watching her like a hawk now- But I loved the look on her face when I walked out that night with a huge expensive bouqet of flowers he sent me at work. I guess she called him wondering why he never bought her anything like that. DRAMA- on top of that her and her little friend that told her about it in the 1st place are trying to "fuck with my money" and talk crap about me to all the customers- but it's not working. I keep saying this to myself and some of the girls have said it too. You're not there to make friends. You're there to make money. Keep your head up and act like you don't give a shit.

Geez, some people are just unbelievably crazy. ::)

Mina, I'd suggest a better club... If you can find one that pays more money, then there's no reason to deal with the stress you're dealing with now... Don't get caught up in feeling unsure about yourself. If you never push that limit, you won't accomplish all that you can. (Yea, that sounded totally Barney, but still!) Shoot, you can even go back to your own club after it all blows over.

mina loy
01-31-2007, 12:24 AM
^^^thank you for your encouragement. one customer who used to go to the club i'm eyeing said i was definitely that kind of club's material. wish me luck!

on the subject of crazy strippers, what makes them think that it's perfectly okay to be physically aggressive with other dancers?

fancygirl
01-31-2007, 01:42 AM
because it's the best way to make someone who doesn't have worker's comp back down. Think about it: Do you have persoal insurance? Do you have six months worth of money? What happens if your leg gets broken?

Hell-- simplest case, what happens if your face gets sliced or even busted up?

Your livelihood gets fucked.

That's why it pays to be extra careful, even if it seems extreme.

Innocense
01-31-2007, 05:57 AM
Mina, I'm sorry this happened to you. First of, yeah, we all make mistakes, I've actually been very very careful, and I have kept other dancers out my mouth with customers, still, I've been there. It happened to me once in High School, and it wasn't nice. All you can do is really apologize. Say that you are sorry and that's it. You don't owe her anything, we all make mistakes, end of story.

Be strong to yourself, remember that you are there to make money not to make friends. And I hate to say this, but dancers will always be getho drama queens.

A couple of weeks ago, one of the dancers at my club dropped a glass of water on my cloths. It wasn't a lot, and she apologized and I said that it was ok. It's just water, and my clothes are not made of sugar so they won't melt, what's the big deal? I knew it wasn't intentional, but as soon as she left the room, this girl, who doesn't work there anymore, (thank god), starts telling me: "fuck, that girl was so lucky she didn't do it on my cloths. I don't know how you can be ok with it, you need to let these bitches know they need to be careful with your shit, or else they will never respect you. If it was me, I'd be kicking her ass right now, maybe they she'll be more careful".................................I was like....WHAT THE FUCK????? are you serious?????

jaizaine
01-31-2007, 06:24 AM
talk about creating drama - she actually said u r fucking with her unborn babies future over one guy who u said doesnt even really spend money on her? how pathetic.
im not sure that i agree about talking her up to custies etc, i mean yeh what u did wasnt good but it wasnt that bad either. if she is pregnant it will become apparent soon enough won't it?
it sounds like her and her friends are the kind of bitches who wont let u live it down no matter what u try - they will prob just laugh at whatever attempts that u make. so i think screw them, just go in, be polite and courteous to others and earn your money.
or go to a more upscale club.

Cally
01-31-2007, 06:37 AM
Ignore it... You are at work to make money, not friends, right?

I deal with this when I go into a club as a feature... they assume I think im better then them(go figure) when really I dont. I was a house dancer myself not to long ago. But yea they get a hate on and decide they dont like me, when I try to work the floor they get snarky and bleh.

Also when I was working as a house girl I worked at one club where all the girls were nasty bitches to me... I just ignored them and let them be bitches. I figured all the energy and time they were using hating me worked to my advantage because I was on the floor making money while they were busy having their hate on. Besides it will keep you out of the changing room out on the floor more ;)

Fuck the haters, use it to your advantage. Most strippers arnt worth your time ;) (excluding the stripperweb girls that is... all the girls here are awesome)

jasmine
01-31-2007, 06:44 AM
They will eventually forget about it. I know it sucks at the moment, but try to apologize and see if that helps at all. I did something similar when I was very young and drunk and everybody got over it in a couple of months. Maybe you could cut your hours for a little while and tell the girl how sorry you are.

mina loy
01-31-2007, 11:56 PM
once again, thank you all for the tremendous support and advice. tomorrow is my first day back after the incident and i will see how it goes--by doing my hair and makeup before showing up to minimize dressing room time. if any riff-raff happens, i'm out. i can't deal with fearing for my safety over some hysterical, violent strippers. i'm going to audition at the more upscale club soon and hope to start afresh.

thank you all!

Bella21
02-01-2007, 12:34 AM
Let us know how it goes.

VegasPrincess
02-01-2007, 12:39 AM
Oh girl. I know that you are a nice person from your posts on here. But, you know, letting some personal shit slip about a girl and fucking up one of her regulars is bad.... someone did this to me once, I mean....I'm sure it was innocent, but when my regular asked where I was (and I was literally friends with this regular) she told him that I was off visiting my man in Miami and could she dance form him? Now, maybe she didn;t mean anything by that....but that cost me about 2 Ks a month of easy money. I was pissed. Whatever you said was NOT COOL and I understand why the girl was pissed. Honestly, I would move on to the next club bc you probably have lost the trust and respect of everyone at this club. Have I fucked up like this? Honestly, no. But do I know what it is to fuck up? Yes, I have. Sometimes its better to cut your losses and go to the next place.

Kalligirl
02-01-2007, 06:17 PM
I think you should go to the better club, hands down. Why waste your time in a shit hole, with shitty girls, when you can be making probably a lot more loot and in a better environment. I would go check out the upscale club, and go work there. You said that the dances and VIP's are cheap anyway. Soooo, you can learn your lesson, get out of the dive, and make more money! Fabulous!

Katrine
02-01-2007, 06:28 PM
Ah, now I remember why I avoided regulars and befriending girls...........

Country_Boy
02-02-2007, 10:30 AM
Pepper spray those violent women! And work for yourself. I know a lot of the guys don't like me at my club because I'm new guy on the totem pole and I usually make more money than they do. It's hard to work in a place where you're not liked, especially by management but I'm there for the money, not the friends.

mina loy
02-15-2007, 03:06 PM
UPDATE

things are coming to an end at that club. after the assistant manager told the head manager about how i felt scared to come to work, the head manager pulled me into her office for a "talking-to" dr. phil-style. she went off on me about what the hell i was doing with girls' regulars when she told me not to do that, how i cost her a customer and a personal friend (really, like i'm responsible for her "friend"'s behavior), how i messed up scheduling with her, how many girls at the club don't like me, how i should mind my own business and make money (i agree with that part), and how she had known the 2 girls who were threatening me for 2 years and if they really wanted to hurt me they would have done so already, so i shouldn't feel unsafe at work. then she made me give her a hug and sent me on my merry way.

i decided i was out after that. meanwhile, things between me and the pregnant dancer got better and we're friendly towards each other. she's realizing that her regular friend wasn't really a friend at all. so that's over with.

yet i've decided to leave. i love the dj, the floorguy, the bartender and so on but i can't stand the head manager, the dressing room drama, the cigarette smoke everywhere upstairs (i'm allergic to it), and the pulling teeth it takes to wrestle a freaking 2-for-1 from a customer for $20!

so i auditioned at 2 upscale clubs and got hired at the second one. i made more in 3 hours there than i usually do in 5 at my old club. in addition, i'm reminding myself not to make friends and get caught up in personal business.

thanks for all your support and hearing me out!

love,
mina