View Full Version : Drunk female custy taken advantage of...
BalletBaby
02-28-2007, 02:49 PM
Wow that's absolutely disgusting that the bouncers and management did nothing. And destiny I think what you did was all you could have done- going up on stage to help her could have put you in danger. And wow calling her a stupid drunk bitch people? Come on she was assaulted. Just because she was drunk doesn't mean she deserved it. I know I fucked up many times in the club and once I got fired, found out a girl once found me passed out and a guy had his fingers in me. Yes, I shouldn't have been drinking, but does that mean I deserved to be violated? Seriously try and think a little before you make a post claiming a women deserved sexual assault.
Embyr
02-28-2007, 03:57 PM
Alright, Bridgette is correct, I was definitely overly harsh in my analysis/criticism of this situation, and destiny, i owe you an apology, i certainly did not mean to seem like i was flaming you- you obviously cared enough to check up on this poor girl the next day and say something to your manager, so I do not sit in judgement of you.... but yes, B, I have definitely been known, smart or not, to put myself on the line to stop domestic violence situations before they escalated any farther... i count 4 situations...
that said, this involved alcohol, lots of guys, your job, and a fair amount of shock... i understand it would have been hard. but you have my apology, whatever my sociological views, on being out of line in my response. :-\
so.... any updates? is she ok.... or even at her work??
Bob_Loblaw
02-28-2007, 11:59 PM
This whole thread has made me feel very uncomfortable. If something like this happened at one of local clubs in my area, I would boycott them for sure. I would also refuse to give any business to the restaurant, especially if the boss and owner were accessories.
if she quit then hopefully she might be doing something about it. Im not sure if there is anything more I can do.
At one time or another, we've all heard claims that the majority of all sexual assaults go unreported. Perhaps in this instance, she may feel that her accusations would go unheard, particularly if it's only her word vs. the word of the other 10 or so guys. Maybe it's just me but I would at least offer to be a witness if she decided she wanted to pursue legal action.
Big Rich
03-01-2007, 12:05 AM
From a guy who used to be a floorman, I used to see the scenario all the time. Drunk female customers WANT to get up on the stage. Now you stated that the bouncer took the girl down after she started getting felt up. Well, it sounds like to me the bouncer was doing his job. No girl (customer or dancer) should be fingered on stage. Although I think the guys should not have been pulling the clothes off the girl unless she needed help. Regarding her getting up on stage in the first place, you had inside knowledge. You had talked to girl in the beginning of the night and knew how uncomfortable she was. Did your bouncers sit and talk with her, did they have the same insight as you. As far as they knew, a female customer came in, was having drinks, got a VIP dance, had some more drinks and wanted to get on stage.
If your club allow girls to get up on stage, why wouldn't they let her? After the first stage incident, you said they a waited a while to let her up on stage again. Again, this seems normal to me. Things got a bit out of hand the first time with a male customer, the bouncer handled the situation, so he let the girl up again later. You didn't state she was getting groped the second time she went up.
Now if she came up to the staff ahead of time while sober, and said, "no matter how drunk i get, please do let get on stage. That's another story.
Regarding the drinking. Alcohol is a drug. It lowers inhibitions. Yes, the girl was intoxicated, but as a previous poster said, just because the shot was in front of her didn't mean she had to drink it.
When a drunk driver gets in a car accident, and kills a family of 4, you wouldn't be saying "that damn family! They got in his way. THEY SHOULD KNOW DRUNK PEOPLE DRIVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!" Wouldn't you be blaming the drunk driver for his/her actions? Yes, the bartender/club shares some responsibility. But if that customer wants to get behind the wheel, they are going to get behind the wheel. Just as if some drunk girl wants to get a little wild at the club, she's gonna get wild.
So if I were you Destiny, don't feel guilty. You can feel sorry for her drunkenness, but you did the right thing when she was on stage the first time and had her taken down.
~Big Rich
AlexxaHex
03-01-2007, 01:52 AM
^^She was raped for fuck's sake! Did you really read and comprehend the first post?
TarsTone
03-01-2007, 06:24 AM
BigRich, your point about the bouncers not knowing her specific situation is valid. If they didn't know how uncomfortable she was earlier, they wouldn't know the difference between her and the other willing drunk girls visiting a bar.
But assigning blame to her for being assaulted is wrong, and your drunk driver analogy is silly. I can understand why she got as drunk as she did. I don't think she was drinking to party, she was doing it to calm herself as she was clearly uncomfortable being there. And when you do shots it's very easy to take in more alcohol than you can handle. I've seen girls behave like zombies while wasted. They're pretty much vulnerable to anything if you're the kind of asshole willing to take advantage.
The bottom line is this: The girl was nervous to be there, didn't even want a private dance, her asshole boss and manager pressured her to drink, she did to shut them up and calm herself, ended up getting too drunk and was subsequently stripped, groped, and fingered while stumbling around incoherently. Also notice that she didn't take her clothes off....they were taken off of her. If you don't see something really fucked up about all this, then I really don't know what to tell you buddy.
Djoser
03-01-2007, 06:32 AM
I used to work in a club where we would put female customers onstage on a regular basis. The guys loved it, and the woman onstage got to live out her exhibitionist fantasy.
But you don't put a really drunk woman onstage, and you sure don't let her get sexually assaulted. Those guys were repulsive swine.
Jenny
03-01-2007, 06:45 AM
Alexxa;
Keep in mind that guys who work in these clubs tend to be not very smart. (No offence to all those that are fine - but you all know what I'm talking about). So while to us the difference between a female customer who is drunk and enthusiastic and one who is drunk and harassed or non-consenting is obvious.... I assume that it is some kind of normal by product of working in environments where women are routinely treated like cattle.
AlexxaHex
03-01-2007, 06:38 PM
I really tried to see your point, but I'm just not buying it (as an excuse - if thats how you meant it). Intelligent or not, a person can tell when another person is in distress, and Destiny said she tried to get the bouncers to stop.
I guess we all had to have been there, and know the people involved to know for sure how everyone's attitude was. I was mostly bitching about all these "she was asking for it" posts. Fuck that.