View Full Version : Beautiful Black Exotic Dancers...Lets keep it Gully (real)
AlexxaHex
03-06-2007, 03:32 AM
Ladies of all races are more than welcome to discuss openly without fear of being flamed. I will throw daggers back at anyone who makes someone feel uncomfortable regardless of their race.
The person here (Bellona) who said that only BLACK dancers were supposed to post here pissed me off, and it offended me, so I offered a sarcastic solution to the calling out of the non-black dancers here. I wouldn't start a whites only thread for real. I understand what you are trying to do here. Maybe it will help some women, maybe not, but I am not a narrowminded person. Maybe you think my post was directed at you, Layka but it wasn't. I'm sorry if my disgust and sarcasm might have been misunderstood. I felt it was a racist statement.
I understand as much as you what it's like to be discriminated against ITC. Don't believe me? Check out some of my photos sometime. And I have every right to come here and say what I feel because this is an open forum. When you have mod priveleges, you can go ahead and start censoring people.
BrunetteGoddess
03-06-2007, 03:56 AM
Oh yeah, CorsicaFire you are so precious. I always smile at your avatar.
Yay, I made somebody smile!:)
Bridgette
03-06-2007, 04:16 AM
Just a random thought, because for every eager happy white man I attract in the club, I don't exactly recieve the same attention OTC.
Hmmmm, is it intimidation? Uncertainty.... not quite sure. I would love to date outside of my race before I die, but the only time white men approach me is in the club. Why, damnit, why? I truly don't get it. Why do white men only approach me in the club? Someone please help me understand.:-\IMO, it's the same reason so many men act like such pigs in the club but are "nice guys" OTC: When they enter the stripclub alot of people feel like the rules don't apply in the SC so they feel freer to do what they want without fearing consequences. I think that it's easier for white men to feel "safe" approaching a black girl ITC because then they aren't so concerned with the social stigmas of interracial dating. Plus it's a no-commitment kinda thing in the club so they feel more comfy travelling outside their norms just for a little while.
Also, I think ITC there's a bit of the novelty factor at play. There are men of all races who will "experiement" with a woman of another race within the confines of a stripclub but just won't consider it in "normal" life.
Yes, I have heard stupid comments like "it's getting dark in here". I always express my disgust at such crap. It annoys me to no end that some assholes automatically assume I must think just like them because I am white and pale. Probably the worst racist comment I ever heard was in the strip club in Phoenix. Some dude heard I'm from New Orleans, so he made a big point to intro me to his buddy who was from Louisiana ::) This was shortly after Katrina. First thing out of Lousisiana-boy's mouth was "took an act o' god to get the n----s outta new orleans didn't it?" Ugh!! I was so shocked and appalled he said that out loud to a perfect stranger I almost choked, couldn't say anything (and that is RARE for me :P) All I could do was walk away and ignore his bullshit apologies, and re-focus on work.
Some other jerkoff recently was asking about my ethnic background. I always find those questions annoying because I don't like the labels and I feel like people are always trying to qualify (or disqualify) me in one way or another and they're using my answers to do so. Anyway, I don't care if people know so I tell. What I know is Scotch-Irish, Native American and Spanish. I am quite sure there's other stuff too but wouldn't know. So this dipshit said something about the Scotch-Irish being "gooood blood", to which I replied "yeah well I'm also Native American and Spanish". He said "yeah but that Scotch-Irish, that's gooooood blood." Ugh ::) So he was completely discounting half+ of my heritage so he could enjoy his stupid little racist fantasies. Asshole.
I am not about to say any stupid shit like "I feel your pain" because, well, it's just stupid. I know I can go into practically any club I want and get hired no problem, but an equally-attractive black girl doesn't have that same luxury. But I understand the frustration of being excluded, ostracized, demonized, etc merely because of ethnic appearance - yes it has happened to me plenty. I get pissed off that people can't just fucking look beyond race and STOP with all the bullshit. I get pissed off when people use dumbass excuses like "I was raised in a racist family" to excuse their own bigotry.
To hit on something Susan said, I would be curious to try working in a place like Magic City once. But the thing is, I am sure my experience wouldn't be the same as a black girl trying to work in "white" clubs because I know I have many other choices for places to work, where most black girls' choices are limited. I wouldn't feel the same NEED to succeed in a "black" club because frankly, I know I don't have to. That said, I would give it my all for a night or 3 just to get a taste of what it's like. Hell, I wonder if they'd even let me audition? ha
PaigeDWinter
03-06-2007, 04:27 AM
Yes, I have heard stupid comments like "it's getting dark in here". I always express my disgust at such crap. It annoys me to no end that some assholes automatically assume I must think just like them because I am white and pale.
I haaaaaate that shit. So much. Ugh. I've actually had dudes slide up to me and, after complimenting my "all over tan line" start chatting about "go White Power!" and try to high five me. After squelching the vomit rising in my throat, I'd inform them that I'm mixed and wander off. Doucheboxes. Grrr I swear. I did, actually, have a manager aside to me that he was going to be letting go/hiring quite a bit (he had just been hired) because the club was "getting a bit too dark, if you know what I mean" with the ol' winkwinknudgenudge. Gross. I told him flat out that we had a GREAT variety of girls and that it was doing our money good to be that way. Thankfully that fuckstick didn't last long.
BrunetteGoddess
03-06-2007, 04:47 AM
^^^ I assume the same punks that say "it's getting dark in here" are really the one's that are so intimidated by beautiful black women because they think the woman would never give the time of day to them. Therefore they MUST insult the woman first so she has no chance to get the upper hand.
Probably the same guys that would freak the fuck out if he was to surrounded by gorgeous black ladies. LOL.
I have to admit, you ladies are a bit intimidating if I don't know you. You seem to have this confident, no bulshit allowed, Iwillbeatyourassdownverballywithnoneedtoevenraisea fistifyoufuckwithme air to you. I'm jealous!
layka
03-06-2007, 10:31 AM
Hmmm... I may try a social experiment myself, more on that later.
I found a rather disturbing blog that made me all the more happy that we are openely discussing this topic. The two clubs mentioned are The Cheetah vs The Gentlemens Club, Georgia clubs respectfully. Take a look at the article and tell me what you think. Although it was written in 2004, I emailed the guy a rather strong opposing arguement, and invited him to lurk this thread. Misconception and ignorant comments were spewed towards both races... Ultimately the guy has a poor idea of strippers anyway despite their race. But this blog was timely in such that it will be a good subject of debate regarding misconceptions.
http://darkdamian.blogspot.com/2004/12/blacker-berry.html
layka
03-06-2007, 11:03 AM
First off, thank you for this thread. I've recently had to take a month off because I just couldn't deal with the biz anymore. I'm back now, and could really use the support this thread might provide.
You know what.... I'm glad that you're here. It can get a lil exhausting not only dealing with the pressures of this industry, but also dealing with the needless racial shit that comes into play almost daily for SOME of us, I stress some only because not every black woman is dealing with this firsthand at the moment, and that's truly a blessing. Damn sure ain't nothing to be ashamed of. I actually have dealt with more racism the further north I go...WTF. The south shows me more love and appreciation, the midwest had moments where many thought I was contagious, lmao. ;D
The disturbing thing is that unlike in the workplace (where discrimination and racisim still rears it's ugly head at times), I find it more comforting to deal with the real worlds "scaryI'llhuntaniggadown" racisim. I can deal with it better, it's not as raw and unfiltered. OTC I can always pacify my anger by filing an complaint to human resources, rant and vent to other empthatic co-workers, sue last weeks shit out of someone, the options are endless. But when I deal with it in the club, my options are bleak. I ain't nobody's punk, but ignoring racist remarks isn't in my nature. I also don't feel as effective staring down a skinheads throat while in a leopard see thru cami. It ain't the same, lol.
That's why I feel it's neccesay to have a place to vent all problems color related. Not because I'm whining, but because countless encounters in the club left unmentioned can leave undesired effects on one's self esteem, and views toward other races. I have plenty of white friends, but because they're not in this industry they give me not industry related advice. Ie; Why don't you contact the NAACP. Yep, one of my friends really asked that in all sincerity. I gave her a hug and basically told her " Baby girl, while that would be an option in a normal enviroment, this industry can be a bitch". That was a sweet suggestion, and that suggestion is what prompted this thread. I could write a letter to the orginization, but I strongly doubt Jesse Jackson would start a crusade for equal opportunity hiring laws in the adult industry. That's why when I deal with a young woman of color that wishes to dance I have to dig deep into what she's dealt with prior to dancing. It's not simple, and just trying to find a club that isn't running rampant with extras is daunting enough.
As far as how I feel when white girls audition in an all black club, it doesn't bother me. Needless to say, she'll be able to bring in different guys that may have never considered my club. On the flipside, some managers feel as though alot of black girls will bring in alot of black customers. Which suggests to me that black customers is bad for business...:-\ Every race has their "bottom feeders" I just wish we weren't stigimatized on a whole for the few that don't know how to act.
Bridgette and Susan if ya'll did decide to audition at a black club THEY WOULD SNATCH YOU UP!!!!!! Why? Because it equals into my equation above only different scenario. White girl attracts more white customers equals better business. Not my theory, just a ton of silent management theory that I've ran into.
layka
03-06-2007, 11:05 AM
I've always dated black men, not because I'm not attracted to others outside of my race, but because it's convienent (sp). But I want to take a step out of my comfort zone this week. I'll be bound to learn something... Guess what the fuck I'm going to do this week?........
A sistuh bout to holla at a white man! Yep, I sure as hell am. I'm tired of being looked past as my fine ass walks through the mall, lol. Even if the guy doesn't recipocrate my advance, it sure as hell will open both worlds in ways I may not imagine. The guy may be surprised/delighted/annoyed/skeptical/etc.... but one things for sure, I will be able to suggest to a couple of men that we aren't so scary afterall. I'm excited as shit now, but nervous as fuck. I've never approached a white man OTC before. I'm not intimidated, but I'm nervous purely over the fact that I'll be stepping out of my comfort zone. ROTFLMAO... Should I approach abercrombie guys? I dunno, I kind of may want to go big and head into Hot Topic. Soooo, I'll approach at least 10 white guys this week. Hopefully the guys will also get as much out of it as I am. Dayum ya'll... I'm actually nervous. I can walk up to a black dude on the block packing heat with no problem, I would be confident that they would holla bcak at me. But just thinking about approaching white men makes me feel less confident.
Fuck it!!
The last line I typed above is reason enough for me to get my black ass to the mall and start the experiment. Their shouldn't be a reason in this world why I'm nervous to approach another HUMAN BEING for God sake!!
This needed to be said, this needs to be done. I'm off
*swings cape around shoulder.... to only realize I'm trippin.... I'll take the bus*
:moped: Stay Tuned
layka
03-06-2007, 11:40 AM
I understand as much as you what it's like to be discriminated against ITC. Don't believe me? Check out some of my photos sometime. And I have every right to come here and say what I feel because this is an open forum. When you have mod priveleges, you can go ahead and start censoring people.
I never said anything about censoring anyone, I merely stated that I would flame ,which is a two way street..... You can respond back. I can't delete your posts so censorship is definately beyond my power, unless you scared to make a comment out of fear of flaming in which case sounds like a personal problem. Inappropiate comments despite race like I said before ( if you would have read my original post) have built a level of intolerance in me towards any sort of racist remarks geared towards ANYONE.That being said, I DIDN'T want anyone to feel threatened or fear flaming even though they aren't black and posting on a woman of color thread. :grouphug:
*Laymans terms*
White people are welcome, Black people are welcome, so is spanish, asian, purple, green, Big Bert and the crew. As long as we work together to create a open dialogue and remain from rambling on and on about ways to make dat ass clap.
xBlackBettyx
03-06-2007, 11:48 AM
I'm half black, half white. I have light eyes, Halle Berry's skin tone, and shoulder length relaxed hair with a few highlights. I always got growing up "Why don't you act "black"? Why do you act so "white"? etc". My brother got the opposite looking like a mini Vin Diesel "Why don't you act "white" - you're white, not black! Why do you act so "black" because you're white (he's just as much black as I am)"
I'll tell you - that shit has never been more frusterating. I know I am half white, half black and a lot of people know I'm mixed with something. It gets to be tedious explaining - most of the time I just refer to myself as black not because I try to hide the fact that I am half white - because it's what people want to hear. I am ethnic, a woman of color. Half white, a 1/4 white, 1/8 white, a splash white - I am still seen as ethnic.
I'm afraid black clubs would turn me down for acting too "white", and white clubs for simply being black.
That being said, I have never had any problem attracting men of all races. I usually date white men simply because (this is going to sound corny) I love dark on light skin. It's hot. I have dated black men, don't have anything against black men, white men just happen to be my preference right now. Of course 3 years ago black men were my preference. My friends refer to me as "The white guy's first black girl"...which actually is quite true. Kind of flattering actually, I mean - it's fun being the first lol
layka
03-06-2007, 12:03 PM
^^^^
Hey beautiful!
I've always dealt with people asking me "Why do I sound white" all the fucking time. I was in home school for the earlier portion of my life, and although we stayed in the hood, my mom was hell bent on expanding my vocabulary and horizons outside of those project walls. She wanted me to "act" black, yet also balance that out with actually being cultured. You see, many of my friends assume that I lived a lavish lifestyle as a child, that I'm mixed, or at least that I was raised in a middle class family. Nope, I remember eating relish while studying, I remember walking over crack vials and vowing to never stoop to that level, yet preserve my black pride and dignity. I'm mixed with tons of shit, but, just like Bridgette mentioned I feel as though people are trying to discredit my race. And despite what I'm mixed with, can't nobody see that coursing through my veins upon first meeting me.
I haven't had a problem attracting them, I've seen a couple of guys outside my race acknowledge me, but that also depends on where I'm located in the region.
I can easily get a guy comparable to let's say Paul Wall approach me, but Jake Gyllenhaal would probably sleep on me unless I went out of my way.
canadiancutie
03-06-2007, 12:16 PM
OH GOSH people are so effing dumb... "it's getting dark in here!!!!" that's the best shit you can come up with??? BAHAHAHAH!!! }:D
i would yell really loudly "what? it's getting HOT in here? THANKS, it must be me!!!!" and smile....and probably laugh too, good naturedly because i'm not even lying i find that kind of shit funny. like, actually, knock knock joke funny...like if i were white and laughing about it i'd be in trouble funny...does that make ME racist?? hmmmm.....
seriously, people that say that shit to try to get to me are usually pretty disappointed because it makes me genuinely amused. i will probably laugh and slap you on the back and add something on. really, who gives a shit about racist people? they are hilarious.
that being said, if you catch me in a bad/strange mood, it may be a whole other thing entirely....:O
layka
03-06-2007, 12:59 PM
I used to shake it off, but I've found that the older I get, the more intolerant I am of such behavior. It's like, why the fuck does my complexion bother you that much?
One dude called me a nigger last year, I replied:
"Funny you said that, because your father was screaming my name last night and I don't recall....... *scratches head, shrugs shoulders*
"cute nickname though...... bye nigga"
*waves and smiles profusely as walking away*
The guy face just went flush... he probably will think twice next time. I took the power away from him by defusing the impact, yadda, yadda, yadda...
But I don't have the energy for quirps sometimes, that was a good day, I turned all comedic on dat ass. lol
xBlackBettyx
03-06-2007, 01:42 PM
^^^^
Hey beautiful!
I've always dealt with people asking me "Why do I sound white" all the fucking time. I was in home school for the earlier portion of my life, and although we stayed in the hood, my mom was hell bent on expanding my vocabulary and horizons outside of those project walls. She wanted me to "act" black, yet also balance that out with actually being cultured. You see, many of my friends assume that I lived a lavish lifestyle as a child, that I'm mixed, or at least that I was raised in a middle class family. Nope, I remember eating relish while studying, I remember walking over crack vials and vowing to never stoop to that level, yet preserve my black pride and dignity. I'm mixed with tons of shit, but, just like Bridgette mentioned I feel as though people are trying to discredit my race. And despite what I'm mixed with, can't nobody see that coursing through my veins upon first meeting me.
I haven't had a problem attracting them, I've seen a couple of guys outside my race acknowledge me, but that also depends on where I'm located in the region.
I can easily get a guy comparable to let's say Paul Wall approach me, but Jake Gyllenhaal would probably sleep on me unless I went out of my way.
Exactly, I think white men are afraid (intimidated) by black women and have this image that we're scary, hate them, whatever...I have found many a time white guys think black girls are hot, but haven't found one that has gone out of her way to make him feel that she's OKAY with the fact that he's white.
When I was young I used to think the only guys I would ever date would be black simply because I always assumed it was hard to find white men that liked black girls, so I always tried to "date inside my race". Now, I realize that's not true but black women have to go more out of their way than other women of other races do to date white men.
I think a white guy dating a black girl is more taboo than a white girl dating a black guy. I hate it when I see these movies about "interracial relationships" and the girl is ALWAYS white and the guy is ALWAYS black (not always, but A LOT of the time). I think it's time for white men and black women to have our turn. I think it's about your surroundings. I grew up with people from A LOT of different races, so me dating someone outside my race isn't weird at all for me, but when I encounter people who haven't - its weird because they have all these preconceived notions about what you're supposed to act like based on what they're seen on TV or based on ONE account.
My mom is also a stickler for correct English and Grammar (although my brother must have missed that along the way somewhere, and both my parents made sure both my brother and I knew who we were and where we came from (my white and black side), which is why I get asked so many times "Why I act so "white?". I didn't know having a grasp on the English language was a "white" thing? When did this happen, did someone forget to send me the memo?!
To me, being black isn't about being a rapper, a basketball player, a gansta, and whatever other stereotypes we have placed on us - it's about pride in where we came from, how far we've come, and where we're going.
Oooo Does anyone else get pissy when you hear "You're hot...for a black girl?!". Slap one more motherfucker who says that, while slightly flattering, it's mostly offensive. "Of course I'm hot, it's not because I'm black...it's just because I'm hot". I bet they'd never say "Hey, you're pretty hot for a white girl!" I guess it's because people just don't think before they construct their sentances sometimes.
xBlackBettyx
03-06-2007, 01:51 PM
I used to shake it off, but I've found that the older I get, the more intolerant I am of such behavior. It's like, why the fuck does my complexion bother you that much?
One dude called me a nigger last year, I replied:
"Funny you said that, because your father was screaming my name last night and I don't recall....... *scratches head, shrugs shoulders*
"cute nickname though...... bye nigga"
*waves and smiles profusely as walking away*
The guy face just went flush... he probably will think twice next time. I took the power away from him by defusing the impact, yadda, yadda, yadda...
But I don't have the energy for quirps sometimes, that was a good day, I turned all comedic on dat ass. lol
It's always best to deflect. I'm from a pretty diverse area, but of course, have had to deal with ignorant peoples because stupid people are everywhere (it's an epidemic).
One girl in the neighborhood wasn't allowed to play with my friend and I "Because we were black", "That's funny, you can't wear your hair down all day - when it dries it's an afro" (Come to think of it, it was kind of funny, that was before I got a relaxer so I could actually get a brush through my hair). When you're a person of color you can't help but wonder if the little things like having a waitress ignore you and your family half the night, are racially fueled as well.
The BEST thing ever though, was when my best friend was playing the shit (Money) out of this big dumb guy who happened to be (unbeknownst to me for the longest time) a neo-nazi. Well, when shit blew up, he called me a nigger. Not to my face, through a internet convo with someone else.
You know what I said after I got done being really pissed off and calling him a fat piece of shit for 10 minutes? "Hm. Well, at least he didn't call me fat..." ;D I must be looking damn good if the only thing he could think of to insult me on was the color of my skin.
Those are usually the same guys that want to have sex with a black girl.
canadiancutie
03-06-2007, 02:28 PM
yeah i get that 'hot for a black girl' or the 'hottest black girl' alot. yeah, alot.but think about it, that's still a compliment! getting mad at someone about that makes them scared of brown chicks or maybe think twice before even saying hi to someone next time.
i will say i have gotten 'you are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen' ;D from white guys in clubs before, no mention of race what so ever. only thing is they say that and walk away or say "i have a girlfriend so i am not trying to hit on you but i just want to say..."
seriously, this has happened to me a few times when i've been out with friends and i am SOO bragging right now lol
and yeah, you don't always HAVE to have a quip or a comeback, sometimes a good old eye roll and and "oh f*** off" are what i am feeling at the moment.
people are going to have something negative to say to you no matter WHAT color your skin is: you're fat, you're old, you're ugly, your tits are too small/flat/saggy etc whatever. who the f*** cares?
i didn't think i would have so much to say on all this!! but i really think that the black girls need to stop focussing on it so much. its the law of attraction, if you keep thinking about racists well......
it is kind of fun to talk about though :)
OH and conversely, i once overheard a few of my black girlfriends talking and they were saying things like they would never date a white guy because white guys are ugly and prolly terrible in bed etc...so it goes both ways.
xBlackBettyx
03-06-2007, 04:31 PM
yeah i get that 'hot for a black girl' or the 'hottest black girl' alot. yeah, alot.but think about it, that's still a compliment! getting mad at someone about that makes them scared of brown chicks or maybe think twice before even saying hi to someone next time.
i will say i have gotten 'you are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen' ;D from white guys in clubs before, no mention of race what so ever. only thing is they say that and walk away or say "i have a girlfriend so i am not trying to hit on you but i just want to say..."
seriously, this has happened to me a few times when i've been out with friends and i am SOO bragging right now lol
and yeah, you don't always HAVE to have a quip or a comeback, sometimes a good old eye roll and and "oh f*** off" are what i am feeling at the moment.
people are going to have something negative to say to you no matter WHAT color your skin is: you're fat, you're old, you're ugly, your tits are too small/flat/saggy etc whatever. who the f*** cares?
i didn't think i would have so much to say on all this!! but i really think that the black girls need to stop focussing on it so much. its the law of attraction, if you keep thinking about racists well......
it is kind of fun to talk about though :)
OH and conversely, i once overheard a few of my black girlfriends talking and they were saying things like they would never date a white guy because white guys are ugly and prolly terrible in bed etc...so it goes both ways.
That's BS. I've only ever slept with white guys, so I can't compare but most white boys can work it.
I just have a thing for white boys, so cute.
AristtaRoxxx
03-06-2007, 07:02 PM
"it's getting dark in here" If heard someone saying that (before now) I would not even know that it was intended to be racist lol. As I have said in other threads I have thankfully never had to go through this in the club or out. Although I do get accused of "acting white" which I think is such a stupid statement. Yeah but I guess I might be just as bad as the guys that don't like black girls cause I don't really like black guys either. I don't know why, and I can't really say that for sure cause I haven't met all the black guys in the world but usually I don't give a black guy a second glance (unless I am working). I have only dated white guys although my current boyfriend is a Mexican that pretends to be Russian lol.
xBlackBettyx
03-06-2007, 07:13 PM
"it's getting dark in here" If heard someone saying that (before now) I would not even know that it was intended to be racist lol. As I have said in other threads I have thankfully never had to go through this in the club or out. Although I do get accused of "acting white" which I think is such a stupid statement. Yeah but I guess I might be just as bad as the guys that don't like black girls cause I don't really like black guys either. I don't know why, and I can't really say that for sure cause I haven't met all the black guys in the world but usually I don't give a black guy a second glance (unless I am working). I have only dated white guys although my current boyfriend is a Mexican that pretends to be Russian lol.
People do have their preferences but I think if you meet a hot person - they're hot whether or not they're green or yellow or white or black. But I do know what you mean, I simply have a preference towards white men. I would/have/will date black men still, it's just white men seem to have similar tastes to me as a majority - although there are just as many white guys that don't have the same tastes. I do hate it when someone make the arguement that having a preference towards someone of a different race has something to do with self hate - which couldn't be further from my truth at least. I love the fact that I am mixed, and a women of color. I love the fact that a lot of people have no clue as to what I am (I've gotten some crazy stuff from Hawaiin, Dominican, Puerto Rican, Greek, Black/White, Black, A mix of all different kinds of shit...I hate to burst people's bubble and be like "Nope. I'm black and white" when they've dreamt up this colorful rainbow of racial backgrounds for me lol).
Susan Wayward
03-06-2007, 08:19 PM
I bet they'd never say "Hey, you're pretty hot for a white girl!"
You bet your ass people say that; I have heard it from black and Latino guys!
Should I approach abercrombie guys? I dunno, I kind of may want to go big and head into Hot Topic.
Hot Topic's a better choice assuming you want to approach heterosexual white boys. Though I would go with the hanging-out-at-the-local-coffeeshop ploy.
xBlackBettyx
03-06-2007, 08:43 PM
You bet your ass people say that; I have heard it from black and Latino guys!
Hot Topic's a better choice assuming you want to approach heterosexual white boys. Though I would go with the hanging-out-at-the-local-coffeeshop ploy.
That's crazy, I have never once heard that. Maybe "Damn, you gotta big ass for a white girl!" (My brother's girlfriend has one of the biggest - good big - booties I have ever seen for a black or white girl so I hear that all the time when it's her and I doing something).
Susan Wayward
03-06-2007, 09:16 PM
Oh, sure. But I mean, there's not much I haven't heard at this point. Lots of the Mexican dudes in Texas swore I had to be South American or Spanish or something because I spoke Spanish and they found me attractive.
I mean, in a more insulting way it's kind of a variation on the "I don't usually like redheads/small-breasted women/short girls/girls with glasses/girls with tattoos/blah blah/ but you'rehot." I mean, guys of all ethinicities can seriously stumble when they're attempting to make what they think is a complimentary remark.
But yeah -- insulting none the less. I recommend a chilly, "Excuuuse me? What did you say?"
Bridgette
03-07-2007, 12:14 AM
I've been told I "look good for a white girl" too. Also that "redheads usually aren't hot, but you're hot." Whatever ::)
I love dark on light skin. It's hot. Meeeee too! :yes: Which of course is partly why I prefer men of the darker persuasions ;D
AlexxaHex
03-07-2007, 12:41 AM
i didn't think i would have so much to say on all this!! but i really think that the black girls need to stop focussing on it so much. its the law of attraction, if you keep thinking about racists well......
YES!! Similarly, I stopped focusing on "What if they don't like me because of my [tattoos/braids/mohawk/dreads/pink hair/piercing/nose/eyes/sense of humor/pale skin/etc etc etc]" I started making MORE money. I think this sort of thinking can hurt you more than anything. You want to be confident, not self conscious.
As a white girl (especially a freaky looking one), I am a minority in Los Angeles. I've almost let it get to me at times, because most of the Mexican men I meet are not into me and so many of our customers are Mexican. I understand how minorities feel because I am one. I'd never feel as though I should segregate myself from the Mexicans, however. I do make a living, as I'm sure black women do in white clubs (or vice versa). Racism and prejudice are unfortunately going to be very prevalent in places where you are the minority. It sucks, but that's how it goes. For myself, I just figure out ways to bank on being a "hardcore individual".
For every man who doesn't like a woman for whatever reason, there are more guys out there who will happily buy a dance from her. Focus on them, for they are the ones who will lavish you with the money and compliments you deserve. The haters and racists are not worth you walking past them. I know it's hard not to sweat it at first, but after a while you learn to make fun of them with their own ignorance.
I've also had similar experiences to what Bridgette said above. ALL races can be racist and they may not even realize they are doing it. If someone says you are "hot for a ____ girl", then gladly take their money! And as you walk away you can tell them they are "cute for a _____ guy". }:D They should get the hint without you having to get nasty or lose out on money.
While I understand that being born a certain race is not a choice and being a "freak" is in a way, I feel that ALL ethical dancers should have the right to feel empowered and make money regardless of their appearance. There have been many times where I've gone to speak to someone with the best of intentions in mind, with a smile of my face and motivation in my heart and get shot down before I even open my mouth...all because of the way I look or the music I picked. There have been times where I've been jealous of other dancers in one way or another - either for their dance skills, physical appearance or hustling abilities, but at the end of the day I am glad I am ME.
xBlackBettyx
03-07-2007, 10:08 AM
Oh, sure. But I mean, there's not much I haven't heard at this point. Lots of the Mexican dudes in Texas swore I had to be South American or Spanish or something because I spoke Spanish and they found me attractive.
I mean, in a more insulting way it's kind of a variation on the "I don't usually like redheads/small-breasted women/short girls/girls with glasses/girls with tattoos/blah blah/ but you'rehot." I mean, guys of all ethinicities can seriously stumble when they're attempting to make what they think is a complimentary remark.
But yeah -- insulting none the less. I recommend a chilly, "Excuuuse me? What did you say?"
It is - true. I think it does all come down to the customers preference, but you can ALWAYS be an exception to the rule - that I have always learned.
xBlackBettyx
03-07-2007, 10:10 AM
I've been told I "look good for a white girl" too. Also that "redheads usually aren't hot, but you're hot." Whatever ::)
Meeeee too! :yes: Which of course is partly why I prefer men of the darker persuasions ;D
Exactly. I don't get the whole black women getting pissed over white women dating black men either (man, I am on a role). I would like to see more variations of interracial relationships in movies (but it is getting better). Although, when I go out with white boyfriends I get some LOOKS from black men, women, white men, woman....some people are just close-minded.
Whenever I'd be out with my mom, she'd get some DIRTY ass looks from black women. Kind of the "Oh. You took one our OURS and have kids with him. Hmp."
But sorry for thread hi-jacking :P lol
canadiancutie
03-07-2007, 01:05 PM
While I understand that being born a certain race is not a choice and being a "freak" is
sigh... i am glad YOU mentioned this because i was thinking it as i was reading your post }:D
good one though, the whole thing
layka
03-08-2007, 12:44 AM
Okay, I went to Hot Topic ( thanks Susan;) ) and I approached this cutey with pink hair and tatts. Just my type, I don't like a prissy man, anywhoo. I decided not to tone down my usual style of dress...afterall...this is a social experiment. I wore semi modest black tank, hell, I'm lying, it was a hoochie top. Anyhoo, I wore that and my favorite pair of House of Dereon jeans. To top it off, I wore very ethnic accessories such as my jamaican flag bracelet, I was determined to keep it real with myself. I made my way to Hot Topic and focused on focusing on white guys. I threw my flirty eyes, I switched my hips ( ever so slightly, don't want to scare off the gentlemen) and.............. a big fat nothing! So, I regrouped and headed into the store. Hot Topic is one of my favorite stores anyway, but this time I entered with more on my mind than fishnets. I spotted my first target near the tees. I smiled at him.....and he smiled back politely, shit. He smiled at me as though I was a store associate, not the hot African Goddess coming to scoop him up.
Sooooooooooooo, I did what any girl would do, I called up my dearest girlfriend and asked her what the hell was I doing! She reassured me that my nervousness was natural since I was stepping outside of my comfort zone.........and then told me to stop being a punk bitch and approach the guy before the fucking mall closes.
( it was three thirty in the afternoon, smartass:P )
He was still standing near the tees, so I went over their and he had a simpsons shirt in his hand. I LOVE the simpsons, homer is my baby daddy ( fuck off marge)so I told him that, no really ya'll, I looked him straight in the eyes, pointed to homer and said "you do realize that that's my baby daddy right" ;D I wasn't trying to come across "ghetto" ( which is used SO freakin loosely nowadays) but that's me damnit! He looked at me and started laughing so hard I thought for a sec that he was laughing at me! I realized he wasn't once he started to really look in my eyes, ya know, not looking all around my face but in my eyeballs. I'm tired of typing now, but too make a novel into a short story he took down my number once I explained to him that I was attracted to him. Yep, he couldn't believe that I was attracted to him. I said "Why not, you're a human aren't you". The flirting was awkard, and I kept noticing him looking around like he was waiting for a camera crew to jump out or something. Anywhoo, to sum it up, it was awkard, it was funny, it was even arousing. One down, nine more to go. Now, back to our regulary scheduled thread.
Miss Luscious, oh Miss Luscious, where art thou Miss Luscious. Hey, get yo ass back in here, lol!:-*
layka
03-08-2007, 01:08 AM
Exactly. I don't get the whole black women getting pissed over white women dating black men either (man, I am on a role). I would like to see more variations of interracial relationships in movies (but it is getting better). Although, when I go out with white boyfriends I get some LOOKS from black men, women, white men, woman....some people are just close-minded.
Whenever I'd be out with my mom, she'd get some DIRTY ass looks from black women. Kind of the "Oh. You took one our OURS and have kids with him. Hmp."
But sorry for thread hi-jacking :P lol
Oh lawd! Lol, I peeped your comment, and I've been hiding out in The Lounge to avoid it, lmao. But I said keep it real *does the sign of the cross* Let's get gully!
Disclaimer
This is a very touchy topic for discussion..... I love it!! Some things need to be said and put on the table within our community. Therefore please keep in mind ladies that we are here solely to learn, educate, and grow. Let's keep it civil
xBlackBettyx I can't tell you enough how this subject disturbs me. It makes me uncomfortable on both ends. My half sister is mixed, our mother is black and her pops is white. This debate is an on going one within my family. I can't speak on behalf of the way some white women may feel when they see black men with white women, but I know that the older generation of black women still struggle with this. I believe change is happening within OUR generation, but some women fifty and above are stuck in their ways. Hence they pass that poison on to their young un's ( yep, youngun's....sue me).
My stance on this is borderline. I believe in love, I believe in love despite color, I think mixed babies are so freakin precious and they grow up to be very well rounded accepting adults. But... I think black men need to stand the fuck up! Sometimes it feels as though we have been abandoned and stolen! You see, drugs have tore our communities apart, and the men are partly to blame. And instead of cleaning up their mess, some never come back when they reach a certain point. Whether it's the meth addict on the street, or the executive in a suit, both of these brotha's may trade for different reasons. Now this is where I must insist their is a differance. If you're in love, you're in love, congratulations I won't throw shade. But when a black man dates another race because he thinks it's "trading up" that.shit.hurts.to.the.core! It implys that I'm not good enough for you. I was good enough for you when we were struggling and you couldn't keep a job, but you got a lil money and want to act brand new now! That's when it's unacceptable. When it's done out of love I embrace it, but when it's done out of pure blasphmey towards your own people, that's wrong. Now, I can understand making it in an industry and when you reach the top options are limited, that's understandable. But blantatly going out of your way to date a white woman just to "maintain" your credibility of "I made it" sucks. NOT neccesarily because she's white, but because of the mans intent behind his action. Men like that disgrace me because they are ashamed of who they are, and apparantly he seeks approval from others. Men like that are better off where they're at, good riddance. Whew, that was a mouth full.
xBlackBettyx
03-08-2007, 09:50 AM
Okay, I went to Hot Topic ( thanks Susan;) ) and I approached this cutey with pink hair and tatts. Just my type, I don't like a prissy man, anywhoo. I decided not to tone down my usual style of dress...afterall...this is a social experiment. I wore semi modest black tank, hell, I'm lying, it was a hoochie top. Anyhoo, I wore that and my favorite pair of House of Dereon jeans. To top it off, I wore very ethnic accessories such as my jamaican flag bracelet, I was determined to keep it real with myself. I made my way to Hot Topic and focused on focusing on white guys. I threw my flirty eyes, I switched my hips ( ever so slightly, don't want to scare off the gentlemen) and.............. a big fat nothing! So, I regrouped and headed into the store. Hot Topic is one of my favorite stores anyway, but this time I entered with more on my mind than fishnets. I spotted my first target near the tees. I smiled at him.....and he smiled back politely, shit. He smiled at me as though I was a store associate, not the hot African Goddess coming to scoop him up.
Sooooooooooooo, I did what any girl would do, I called up my dearest girlfriend and asked her what the hell was I doing! She reassured me that my nervousness was natural since I was stepping outside of my comfort zone.........and then told me to stop being a punk bitch and approach the guy before the fucking mall closes.
( it was three thirty in the afternoon, smartass:P )
He was still standing near the tees, so I went over their and he had a simpsons shirt in his hand. I LOVE the simpsons, homer is my baby daddy ( fuck off marge)so I told him that, no really ya'll, I looked him straight in the eyes, pointed to homer and said "you do realize that that's my baby daddy right" ;D I wasn't trying to come across "ghetto" ( which is used SO freakin loosely nowadays) but that's me damnit! He looked at me and started laughing so hard I thought for a sec that he was laughing at me! I realized he wasn't once he started to really look in my eyes, ya know, not looking all around my face but in my eyeballs. I'm tired of typing now, but too make a novel into a short story he took down my number once I explained to him that I was attracted to him. Yep, he couldn't believe that I was attracted to him. I said "Why not, you're a human aren't you". The flirting was awkard, and I kept noticing him looking around like he was waiting for a camera crew to jump out or something. Anywhoo, to sum it up, it was awkard, it was funny, it was even arousing. One down, nine more to go. Now, back to our regulary scheduled thread.
Miss Luscious, oh Miss Luscious, where art thou Miss Luscious. Hey, get yo ass back in here, lol!:-*
O.O That is awesome! See?! It's not because white guys don't like black women, that's not it at all....they think we're not interested in them. SOOOO did it go any further?! I gots ta KNOW!
You should really write all this down, make a book out of or something cause I was glued to that screen.
Miss_Luscious
03-08-2007, 11:12 AM
Miss Luscious, oh Miss Luscious, where art thou Miss Luscious. Hey, get yo ass back in here, lol!:-*
I'm here. I just haven't really seen any discusion between the WOC about the industry so I've just been sitting back waiting for the discusion to start.
I do have a little topic starter though:
Do you prefer to work in black clubs or white clubs and why? Where do you find it is easier to make money? How does your body style effect your earnings in different clubs?
Discuss. I'll put my $.08 in a bit.
JustJayda
03-08-2007, 11:58 AM
I'm here. I just haven't really seen any discusion between the WOC about the industry so I've just been sitting back waiting for the discusion to start.
I do have a little topic starter though:
Do you prefer to work in black clubs or white clubs and why? Where do you find it is easier to make money? How does your body style effect your earnings in different clubs?
Discuss. I'll put my $.08 in a bit.
exactly! I'll be back to answer your questions though;)
lexXe
03-08-2007, 12:11 PM
To answer your question Luscious, up here in TO we don't have "black" or "white" clubs but we have clubs with more WOC dancers or white dancers. I prefer to work in clubs where the money is made in the champagne room instead of off tonnes of different custies. Even though these clubs are hit and miss, I find that when I have a good night, it's really really good.
zoe jane
03-08-2007, 03:19 PM
i think that if you are refferring to anyone by they colr then you are in the wrong. people are people and its because of narrow minded people that cant leave the black, white brown or fucking green issue alone is why racism exist. you dont have to be black to have a big ass or white to have beautiful hair. stop hating and live life man?!!
layka
03-08-2007, 11:29 PM
I do have a little topic starter though:
Do you prefer to work in black clubs or white clubs and why? Where do you find it is easier to make money? How does your body style effect your earnings in different clubs?
Discuss. I'll put my $.08 in a bit.
Well, it seem's like I first had to establish the reason behind this thread....;D
( to try to tone down the amount of idiotic responses as displayed below:-\ )
Don't want to step on anyone's heels. Thanks for your starter questions boo.
I prefer both for different reasons. I like white clubs because I feel more exotic and in demand at moments. I also like gown clubs because they make you feel like such a lady, yet a freaky one. I love to work in black clubs because I feel at home, comfotable, and I love to unleash my wild side without being labeled. I can give a mean lapdance at some clubs without looking raunchy. I also like the competition. I won't feel so down on myself if I have a lousy night at a black club because I'm competiting with similar women, but I'm my own competition at a predominatly white club....which can lead to self esteem issues if I have consecutive bad nights.
i think that if you are refferring to anyone by they colr then you are in the wrong. people are people and its because of narrow minded people that cant leave the black, white brown or fucking green issue alone is why racism exist. you dont have to be black to have a big ass or white to have beautiful hair. stop hating and live life man?!!
WTF?? Honey.... I don't mean any harm, but what are you talking about? I don't even have the energy to explain such a vast issue, but why do you think simply not discussing a problem will magically make it go away. The funny thing is that I've found people who are hesistant to discuss the issue are usually the one's in denial. This world isn't comprised off of well wishes and kisses, if it was that simple racisim wouldn't exisit::) Narrow minded people are those that CANT think outside of the box..............Hmmmm..... Just think about it ( And while you're at it, please read the original post on the first page that I made. Maybe...just maybe....you can't fathom the idea of discussion because you can't relate. Just a thought)
layka
03-08-2007, 11:34 PM
Oh yeah, and I've experienced more difficulty in getting hired in an upscale club due to my shape. I'm thick, and they're no apologies about it8) But once I gained more weight black clubs appeared more eager to hire me, while predominately white clubs tended to frown upon my brown round, hee hee, my booty don't bite. But several caucasion managers act as though it would jump out and attack their clientele.... The only possible solution to this would be to lose weight. I don't mind losing weight, but I love looking like a woman, I thik skinny can look juvenile on some people. Well, some black women.
layka
03-09-2007, 12:10 AM
i think that if you are refferring to anyone by they colr then you are in the wrong. people are people and its because of narrow minded people that cant leave the black, white brown or fucking green issue alone is why racism exist. you dont have to be black to have a big ass or white to have beautiful hair. stop hating and live life man?!!
Girl, I just peeped your thread . Yep, the one about interracial dating. Question? You of ALL people if you're dating outside of your race need to speak on the issues of color!!! :toldoff: Your man need's your support! Don't front!
Why are you busting up in my thread acting as though race is of no concern to you if you have devouted an entire thread to an discussion of race???? Baby girl, don't dismiss the issues of color as a way of creating an barrier. You should know firsthand now that just ignoring the issue won't make it go away, more importantly it won't exactly help you to come to grips with the reality around you.
*WOC please welcome zoe jane in this thread, apparantly home girl is hurting and I want to show her some love. But also help her to not run from the problem, but attack it head on*
Zoe jane please pull up a chair, we must speak on things related to stripping while black (out of fear of losing jayda fine ass, and Miss Luscious sexy self) but I would love to help you deal with this issue.
Okay, back to stripping while black
LilSweetVixen
03-09-2007, 08:18 AM
I prefer black clubs because I feel more comfortable with the clientele.
i think that if you are refferring to anyone by they colr then you are in the wrong. people are people and its because of narrow minded people that cant leave the black, white brown or fucking green issue alone is why racism exist. you dont have to be black to have a big ass or white to have beautiful hair. stop hating and live life man?!!
WTF?:rotfl: You're fucking a negro and now you're all we are the world, "I don't see color". You might have the luxury of pretending race doesn't exist, you can strip at any club you want, appear in any porn you want, date anyone you want, but we blacks have to realize race on a daily basis. If someone's not interested in you, you don't have to wonder if it's because you're white. You don't have to be black to have a big ass or white to have *ahem* "beautiful hair" ::) (this is the crap we have to hear sistas) but you can't seriously tell me that you can't tell that someone like layka is black.
AlexxaHex
03-09-2007, 08:27 PM
WTF?? Honey.... I don't mean any harm, but what are you talking about? I don't even have the energy to explain such a vast issue, but why do you think simply not discussing a problem will magically make it go away. The funny thing is that I've found people who are hesistant to discuss the issue are usually the one's in denial. This world isn't comprised off of well wishes and kisses, if it was that simple racisim wouldn't exisit::) Narrow minded people are those that CANT think outside of the box..............Hmmmm..... Just think about it ( And while you're at it, please read the original post on the first page that I made. Maybe...just maybe....you can't fathom the idea of discussion because you can't relate. Just a thought)
Wow - so someone tries to be optimistic and have a positive attitude and all of a sudden you label them "idiotic", "narrow minded" and insult their intelligence?
WAY TO GO. You start a thread and expect everyone to think the way you do. And anyone who doesn't is living under a rock, right? You might wanna put your superiority complex in check.
You might have time to "redeem yourself".
miabella
03-09-2007, 11:25 PM
that person doesn't have a 'positive attitude'. they are doing the white-privilege thing of 'oh i'm fuckin' me a colored person, so now i don't "see race" and anyone else who does is omg keeping racisms alive!'
if fucking interracially could make racism disappear, slavery in america would have lasted like .1 second. and it is so often white people dating 'ethnic' who want to bust out with how we should all be colorblind, as if AGAIN it's OUR fault. always it's US who have to change our view, never them.
meh.
on-topic, the hardest thing about being a black dancer for me was being turned down at soooo many clubs, plenty of them mediocre, or being told days-only when the management knew days were DEAD or extras-ridden (or both). i would be so scared to leave a club that had hired me because i wasn't sure i would be able to get hired anywhere else and make money. so i 'settled' for good but not great money that was very very consistent, and didn't travel as much as i perhaps should have to maximise income.
the second hardest thing was the idea in so many white dancers' (and sadly a lot of black dancers too) minds that black dancers simply should NOT make as much or more than they do justdancing, or low contact, or airdancing. i mean, the resentment and bile when i was generously stage tipped at a mostly white club was palpable.
Susan Wayward
03-10-2007, 12:35 AM
the second hardest thing was the idea in so many white dancers' (and sadly a lot of black dancers too) minds that black dancers simply should NOT make as much or more than they do justdancing, or low contact, or airdancing.
That is hard, and messed up.
On the ridiculousness of claiming colorblindness:
"I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them, because police officers call me sir."
--- Stephen Colbert
AlexxaHex
03-10-2007, 01:24 AM
I think that zoe jane was saying that focusing on racism and worrying about color only causes problems for everyone involved. It's a little different from burying your head in the sand, but rather looking past it and being the best person/dancer you can be without setting up thought obstacles for yourself because of some perceived prejudice.
If you're gonna sit in the dressing room all night bitching about "Why can't I make money? I must be because I'm [black, white, mexican, indian, american, australian, etc etc etc].", then you're only short changing yourself.
I think she's just doing the "why can't we all get along" thing. And I understand it. After all, should John Lennon not have written the song, "Imagine"?
Miss_Luscious
03-10-2007, 02:04 AM
It's a little different from burying your head in the sand, but rather looking past it and being the best person/dancer you can be without setting up thought obstacles for yourself because of some perceived prejudice.
If you're gonna sit in the dressing room all night bitching about "Why can't I make money? I must be because I'm [black, white, mexican, indian, american, australian, etc etc etc].", then you're only short changing yourself.
AAARRGGGG!!! Alexxa I really do like you but this pissed me off to no end. We are not making this up in our heads!!!! In this industry we really are discriminated against because of our race. And being white (however "alternative" you may be) you simply do not and can not understand.
AlexxaHex
03-10-2007, 02:19 AM
Maybe you didn't read my post above Luscious, where I explained how I am a minority in LA because I'm white. I do know what it's like to be discriminated against in BOTH respects. It's not like I can just cover up my tattoos either.
What I am saying is rather than dwell on it, why not try harder to succeed because of it? I think this thread is good because it IS making everyone pissed off. Hell, I'M pissed off about a lot of the racist stuff that has been said here too. WE ALL need to think about this.
Susan Wayward
03-10-2007, 04:17 AM
Alexxa, do these seem like the kind of dancers who sit in the dressing room bitching? I haven't heard one peep about that in this thread. They're talking about very real problems, like even getting in the door of the damn club because of idiot managers with ethnic quotas in their heads, particular body/beauty issues, and how white dudes react to them.
Miabella worked in a city with a majority black and hispanic population (white chicks are a "minority" there as well) and still had to deal with anxiety about getting hired at better clubs because she's not white. Also, you might be in the "minority" in LA but you know who else is in the minority? Rich people. It just isn't the same. I was in the minority growing up in South Texas as an Anglo, and let me tell you, the whole (white) country club in my hometown there is just crying into their martinis about the prejudice they deal with. ::)
Anyone who tattoos "Evil Cunt" on her stomach is purposefully choosing to set herself out of the more employable mainstream of the sex industry (and prepared to always wear one-pieces on family beaches). Your "difference" is cultural, not ethnic. No comparison.
Nothing in this thread is self-pitying or anything but the truth; I have seen incredibly beautiful black dancers turned away by nasty racist management in Austin, which is supposed to be one of our more liberal cities. It makes my jaw drop and I cannot begin to imagine how shitty it is to add that on to everything that automatically comes with this job. I won't even pretend that there's any experience I can have that would be comparable.
AlexxaHex
03-10-2007, 06:08 AM
Susan, I don't pretend to know what it's like to be black either. And I haven't said anything to lead anyone to think that.
All I am saying is that I understand what it is like to be in the face of discrimination. Period. I'm not crying about being white. I am using the difference in my appearance and race to play a specific financial angle. And I am encouraging everyone to make lemonade out of lemons as well, whatever their circumstances (racial or cultural) may be. I am saying there is no reason to DWELL...yes, I know there are some asshole managers with "racial quotas" and they suck and should be shot in the head. I LOVE black women, I love ALL races and types of women and yes it makes me sick when ANY woman is made to feel like shit because of any aspect of her BEING.
I am saying here that I UNDERSTAND and I AM WITH YOU.
I got this tattoo (among other large ones) long before I became a dancer. Do I feel that it's okay that managers will not hire me sometimes because of that tattoo, regardless of my good personality, work ethic, hustle and stage skills? Do I think it's fair that a Mexican/South American dancer will almost always have more pull than me in LA clubs? No.
Do I accept it as part of the business and move on? Do I know that life is generally unfair and just learn to live with it, look for positives and concentrate on how I CAN succeed instead of how I am always being set back? Yes.
I am merely suggesting that the same frame of mind can work for black dancers (because yes, I do care), yet I am flamed. It's okay. I don't expect that everyone will WANT a possible solution or even a slight suggestion on how to handle their business. If this thread was designed for only black dancers to come here and complain, conspire and discuss...then whatever. I would just hate to see what would happen if someone told a black dancer she had no idea about a "white issue". It's the double standard that some posters have shown here that I have a problem with.
p.s. - I don't cover up the "Evil Cunt" either - not in front of kids, old people, whoever. It's a very deep statement that I feel very personal about. It is a part of me, just as any of my freckles or birthmarks. It is my art, therefore it is me.
xBlackBettyx
03-10-2007, 09:29 AM
AAARRGGGG!!! Alexxa I really do like you but this pissed me off to no end. We are not making this up in our heads!!!! In this industry we really are discriminated against because of our race. And being white (however "alternative" you may be) you simply do not and can not understand.
Of course she can't understand what it's like to be black and be discriminated in a lot of different areas of life (not just stripping - but A LOT of things). Being discriminated because of the color of your skin isn't a good thing to have to go through but as women of color unfortunately, we learn to live with it. But that is not saying she doesn't know what discrimination feels likes.
Whether you're being discriminated because you're too skinny, too fat, too short, too dark, too light, too white, a woman, a man, too hispanic, too black, too asian, too alternative, too normal, too big boned, too small boned, still hurts (Of course, some you can't compare with being discriminated against because of your skin color).
I can't change my skin color, Someone can't change the fact that they're naturally tall or short either - I feel for all kinds of discrimination. Discrimination is discrimination. It all makes you feel shitty unless you hold your head and keep going.
cinammonkisses
03-10-2007, 09:45 AM
I think that zoe jane was saying that focusing on racism and worrying about color only causes problems for everyone involved.
I think that Zoe is actually the one focusing on racism Alexxa. If race, color means nothing to her then she woudln't have made a thread about how her family dislikes her man so much and why it's a problem.
AlexxaHex
03-10-2007, 07:36 PM
I didn't get that negative feeling that other people seemed to get from her response. Maybe it's because I didn't read her other thread. Regardless, there are more important issues to discuss...I hate to see threads sidetracked to deal with semantics and personal things. I speak my mind regardless but I feel as though I've said everything I can. If someone doesn't get it or wants to argue, that's cool. I'm still going to read here.
This issue is important to me as I feel it affects EVERYONE. We're all connected.
layka
03-11-2007, 12:14 AM
I didn't get that negative feeling that other people seemed to get from her response. Maybe it's because I didn't read her other thread. Regardless, there are more important issues to discuss...I hate to see threads sidetracked to deal with semantics and personal things. I speak my mind regardless but I feel as though I've said everything I can. If someone doesn't get it or wants to argue, that's cool. I'm still going to read here.
This issue is important to me as I feel it affects EVERYONE. We're all connected.
Wow, alot has transpired since my abscence. I just want you to actually hear me out AlexxaHex, no seriously. As you read this don't glance over my statement with a response already prepared, I want you to really hear me out. You said alot of unneccessary comments. Lol, I can take it though because I'm used to people jumping down my throat when I say something that makes them uncomfortable. Apparently I made you feel uneasy.....why.....I dunno;D Why are you repeatdly urging me to "take it". Why do you have a problem with me speaking my mind towards the ill treatment that I may recieve as a black dancer? Why does it bother you? I urge you to take a look at my first post, if you can't find it I will do the leg work for ya. I clearly stated that I hate whiners, I hate people who complain without looking for a way to stimulate change. I believe change starts with discussing the matter at hand. Have you noticed the warm reception I give you EVERY time you post. The reason being is not because I like kissing ass, but I pride myself off of giving people a chance, I'm giving you a chance to understand my plight. The reason being is that I don't dislike you, I don't dislike white people ( my stapefather is white for Christsakes) I want you to understand what we may deal with because through your own experience you can spread the knowledge and love onto other people that I may never be able to reach.
You seem like a good hearted person, but you really seem as though you're fighting the wrong fight. Yes, I truly believe you love black people, but what good is loving me if you're not willing to stand up for me. I'm admittely teary eyed as I type this because your confusion scares me. I wonder how many more people out their are mumbling to themselves "Won't they just get over it" Well, I want to ask you something, why the fuck don't I over hear people asking why jewish people don't get over the Holocaust? Please, I beg of you to tell me why their aren't toms of people who think they're overreacting. Sure, they're skeptics that believe the Holocaust may never have occured, but those are far few and between. Yes, you may experience racisim, no doubt about that.
But my people are still recovering, our egos have been shattered, our men have been raped, I have NO, allow me to repeat NO concept of my ancestory, and I'm judged based off of the melanin of my skin!!! I would choose being an outcast due to tattoos anyday, operative word..CHOICE. It's a big difference, and you suggesting that it's not is hurtful and insulting. Don't be too quick to jump down my throat for calling out zoejane, I said before that I would call out random insensitive comments. Nothing wrong with that, because like I said before YOU have the option of responding back.
I also welcomed Zoejane because I identified with her pain, if you don't believe me go back and read my post. I don't want this to be a "pity party" but who the hell said it was???? This entire community has several posts a day titled "RANT" or "I HAD THE WORST FUCKIN NIGHT" so YOU my dear are actually trying to censor me;D funny how these things play out. Why can't I RANT over how sucky it is to be a black dancer sometimes? I couldn't make this shit up even if I wanted to! I also want women who may deal with discrimination feel welcome to speak about it. If I didn't speak on the racisit shit that I've dealt with do you wanna know how fucked up I would be? Do you even realize that although speaking about it may not "solve" anything just talking about it amongst my peers allows me to continue to love white people. If I was to keep my experiences bottled up inside of me
( like you have suggested, only you sugarcoated it)
I would have been a bitter, evil, hateful person towards white people who would give their life for me.People who don't deserve my ill feelings. And I'll be damned if I take your advice and "move on", to do so would be dismissing the pain that my sistuhs put their are experiencing. This is bigger than you and I Alexxa, right now I'm speaking on behalf of the voiceless. I'm speaking on behalf of those who have died for my freedom, white and black. I will not ignore color related issues and put my ancestors to shame. I'm speaking out on behalf of that beautiful damaged woman who doesn't feel appreciated. I'm speaking out on behalf of the leaders both black and white that fought their asses off to get me this far.
I don't ever want to toss aside others feelings and experiences. Without certain white people freedom would never have exsisted. I acknowledge that, therefore I'm determined to love withou bias. So why is it wrong for me to hold out hope that one day maybe others will join in.
Other people may rant in this forum to relieve stress, so why is it so hard for you to understand that I need to rant over issues of color!!!:O Color related issues shouldn't be tapped danced around, especially by the folk experiencing it. Sure, I ignore racisit comments, theirs a time and place for everything. But if I kept my issues inside, if we all do, it breeds contempt. I love ya'll, I don't want to pass a white person on the street and not be able to relate, What about you? You're really acting as though my statements are irrational, if so I beg for anyone who I may have offended forgiveness. But while you continue to leave in your perfect world, I'll be still searching for a club with the first words out of my mouth being " Do they hire black girls". Much peace to you babydoll, you're not a lost cause. I have faith that just being able to discuss amognst us may bring you closer to the truth.
In the meantime, Relate, Relax, Release. Peace