View Full Version : help with negotiating sugar daddy
crizgolfer
03-17-2007, 11:50 AM
I really wasn't speaking of money, but thanks for the input.
A sugar daddy, on the other hand, is a financial relationship. Yes, the recipient may genuinely care for her benefactor, but not in the way she would care for a lover/boyfriend. Sometimes the benefactor is truly love-smitten, often he is not but he has other reasons for wanting to sponsor a (usually younger), beautiful, sensual woman whom he finds to be appropriate for such a relationship. The relationship usually comes with defined boundaries, but what defines it is that the benefactor/recipent relationship is a BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT.... and usually temporary. The benefactor has needs (emotional, sometimes physical, and often intellectual... he is a the ultimate long-term customer) for which he is willing to pay a certain price, and the recipient is "compensated" (PAID) for her time for providing those services. Pure Business. any business arrangement can find people caring for each other. doesn't mean it's love.
Excellent points, Embyr. And I will go on to say that sometimes its very difficult to remember that it is business. I've been seeing Miss D for over three years ITC and OTC. Things start getting really comfortable especially if youve had some amount of physical intimacy as opposed to the relationship being confined strictly to the club. The money component, while obviously still there, becomes background noise rather than the elephant standing in the living room loudly trumpeting a reminder at you. But as you stated, its not "love" but money instead that fuels the combustion bottom line. The other enjoyments are welcome but ultimately bought and paid for rather than freely given.
FBR
Sunshine73
03-17-2007, 03:59 PM
I wouldn't be able to stomach the sugar daddy thing either.
Any guy I date/marry is going to have to understand that I will make my own money, be it by dancing, acting, writing, etc. It would be a partnership where we'd BOTH contribute financially. I'd much rather date/marry out of love. It's a much stronger & better foundation than $$$ could ever be.
Now if anyone wants to have a sugar daddy/baby thing, then that is their choice, but Lordy Lordy if you really stop and think about it, it seems more trouble than it is worth. Good luck!
Djoser
03-17-2007, 11:58 PM
There's no such thing as free money. Something is always expected, and it may or may not be worth it to the recipient.
That being said, there's some real gems in this thread:
...I think most guys who choose boring women do it because they're pretty damn boring themselves. It's hard to keep up with someone "interesting" if you don't fit that description yourself.
You know, there was a man who would pay for everything as long as I did what he wanted and satisfied his expectations. I just found it stifling and uncomfortable, and one day I said, "I'm paying my own bills. I don't need your money any more, Dad."
And Embyr's entire post.
Optimist
03-18-2007, 12:53 AM
Yeah, Nicolina's quote was golden! I always suspected they were arrogant but boring men who had no choice but to be with quieter women. They're like pigeons who don't like or respect other pigeons so they insist on chasing hawks. Problem is they can't live that more demanding hawk lifestyle and must soon return home to their pigeon and roost.
Eevee
03-18-2007, 11:05 AM
I know a guy who has a lot of potential to be a sugar daddy (runs a very successful business, has a high net worth, owns a lot of expensive cars and properties) but the problem is he's still slightly young so I think that'd make him reluctant to fork out money for my expenses.
He pays for everything whenever go out on dates, but how do I convince him to go that step further and spend money on me? I'm talking about paid shopping sprees, beauty splurges, things that other girls in this thread have had paid for them! Yes, my scheming does sound shallow and contrived but hey I'm pretty sure that's what this guy wants from our 'relationship' as well.
Any tips or pointers, please??? All genuine responses are appreciated! :D
lexXe
03-18-2007, 07:05 PM
^^^ I don't think there's anything you can do to "convince" him. Give it time and see what happens. Never ask.
Lysondra
03-18-2007, 10:16 PM
OK, I know it's a sugardaddy thread, but here's a thought:
Why not find a rich boyfriend?
Then you want to text message him all day. And on top of that -- you want to rush home to jump his bones at night. You love his smell and his eyes, you want to wear his shirt around the house all day, you can't stop looking at him and you pout when he's not around.
He also pays all your bills, buys you outrageous gifts, wires cash into your bank account whenever you really need it, buys whatever you may want, is amazing in bed and even gives great phone sex.
I mean, come on. It's not that rare. You are amazingly hott, remember? ;)
Sometimes I want a rich boyfriend... other times, I'd want something like a sugar daddy but not.
I always envisioned my perfect non-sexual partner as someone who would taste test wine and cheese with me at his estate in front of a fireplace while discussing (or mildly arguing) which is better Chteau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac 1996 or Chteau Haut Brion Pessac-Lognan 1982... and afterwards, he gives me something shiny -but not necessarily pricey... I collect Swarovski crystals... one of those would be perfect.
I guess I want a rich man to think I'm beautiful, buy me some nice things to show he cares... but then have intelligent conversation and nice places with much laughter and very little to no sex, but tons of eye-flirting and winking.
Now where do I find THAT!?
dollyrocker
03-19-2007, 01:49 AM
To expand on TOO's comments...just out of curiosity.
Here is an example. There is a dancer at a club I have frequented in the past. Her name is Mia. She is around 22 years old and is drop dead gorgeous and very classy. I have spent ITC time with her primarily because I enjoy her company (she is much younger than what normally interests me). Plus, she is dancing just for the money (I know most do, but it really shows in her dancing).
Another dancer (who is good friends with Mia) once told me about Mia's "boyfriend" and how useless the guy was. I see this young lady and think. She could get a line of 100 decent younger guys (that have something going for them). Certainly, one of those 100 would be decent for her.
I am not making a judgement on her or anyone, just looking for other viewpoints. I know why I frequent clubs, just wondering about her. Seems like she wants more, and I am not sure why she feels she can't get it.
Any thought?
Thanks!
My best friends are Mia types. Women like this DO NOT want successful men! They loooove pathetic losers. Losers make them feel needed. Losers make them feel motherly. Sugar motherly.
The sugar mamas of the world will never go for sugar daddies. Nor will they ever go for any other sort of man who can stand on his own two feet. If you want to attract this sort of woman, become an unemployed, unsuccessful musician. Bonus points if you develop a drug habit. ;)
crizgolfer
03-19-2007, 07:46 AM
Thanks for the reply Dolly.
I am not trying to attract or get involved with her. I was merely using her as one example. I am not trying to "fix" her life either. Just curious.
I will admit that before I ventured into strip club scene I had the same opinions as many other outsiders do about strippers. Since spending some enjoyable time with some of these ladies my opinion has changed completely. I have met some goreous, sexy, intelligent, and compelling women.
I was having a drink with a very nice young dancer one night and we were discussing relationships. It was a nice conversation. She was talking about some of her boyfriends (present and past). She had stated that she does not want a man to take care of her (which is a healthy attitude). My suggestion to her was that she does not need a man to take care of her, but in the long run she may be better off if she chose one that could. I am not just talking about money here either.
xoxoGracexoxo
03-19-2007, 02:34 PM
When I started dancing I said it was because I'd rather make my money a little at a time from a lot of guys who only expected a table dance than all of it from one to whom I was accountable.
Bingo. Having a sugar daddy sounds like a huge pain in the ass. As a stripper, I like the fact that when a man annoys me, I can walk away and find a better one.
Paris
03-19-2007, 04:49 PM
OK, I know it's a sugardaddy thread, but here's a thought:
Why not find a rich boyfriend?
Then you want to text message him all day. And on top of that -- you want to rush home to jump his bones at night. You love his smell and his eyes, you want to wear his shirt around the house all day, you can't stop looking at him and you pout when he's not around.
He also pays all your bills, buys you outrageous gifts, wires cash into your bank account whenever you really need it, buys whatever you may want, is amazing in bed and even gives great phone sex.
I mean, come on. It's not that rare. You are amazingly hott, remember? ;)
Okay, I'm dialing up my Fairy God-mother right now....Ring.....Ring....Ring Ring. Well crap, she's not answering.:'(
I thought that this was sarcasm when I first read it. You're being a little ridiculous if you think that being hot is all it takes to attract someone that is not only rich but is so attractive that a love match is inevitable.
I'm sorry, but only in Hollywood fiction and the very rare Anna Nicole type situations does this happen in real life. No Tony Robbins-esque pep talk is going to change the fact that strippers are "untouchables" amongst the blue bloods. Anna Nicole was probably closer to a courtesan, but still hated and reviled by her in-laws. She was wealthy in her own right, w/o her rich husband's money.
TOO, I usually like your posts, and generally agree with you but that one smacks of Marie Antoinette saying "Let them eat Cake!" To the starving French people prior to the revolution.
Lysondra
03-19-2007, 04:55 PM
^ http://ask.yahoo.com/20021122.html
It didn't happen... we have hope yet.
Paris
03-19-2007, 05:48 PM
^ http://ask.yahoo.com/20021122.html
It didn't happen... we have hope yet.
My point was that the post had the same sort of flippancy that the "Let them eat cake" phrase infers.
I just deleted a big ol' rant. Let's just suffice it to say that in the real world, strippers are not the kind of girl you bring home to meet the 'rents. We have to be self made if we are going to make it at all. Otherwise it is like playing the lotto.
All Good Things
03-20-2007, 12:16 AM
TOO, I usually like your posts, and generally agree with you but that one smacks of Marie Antoinette saying "Let them eat Cake!" To the starving French people prior to the revolution.
Ah, an opportunity to respond.
I was never suggesting two polar opposites: cash-driven suggardaddy cynic or hopelessly romantic love interest. We all know that there are an infinite number of variations between those two extreme positions, largely because people want a huge variety of different things from... well, other people.
My point was to ask whether it made sense to consistently, perpetually and automatically rule out a serious romantic interest who might have money and status and might want to share some or all of that with you because of who you are -- because the guy genuinely likes you and you are wild about him. The result is lower maintenance, less drama and damn sure less work. Rare? Perhaps. Unheard of? God, no.
I don't accept for a fraction of a nanosecond the notion that there is some impenetrable wall separating dancers from the moneyed classes. Sorry, it’s just totally inconsistent with my own personal experience. And I put a lot of stock in that. ;)
I have found this thread fascinating. I am curious about how these sugar daddy relationships work. It sounds like the guy provides cash and gifts while the woman provides sex and companionship.
But are sugar daddies on the hook for anything else? Supose the sugar baby has a bady day, is he supposed to provide a shoulder to cry on too? Does he have to listen to her complain about her day at work? If they go on vacations do they go where the sugar daddy wants or take into consideration the preferences of the sugar baby too?
My larger point: MOst relationships are give and take and involve compromise. Does the cash absolve absolve the sugar daddy of having to give in other dimensions and place more onus on the woman to accomodate the needs and wants of the sugar daddy?