View Full Version : Wearing Wedding Rings/Bands while Stripping
kylie3183
04-02-2007, 05:07 PM
I agree with the point of it shouldn't matter whether she's married or not, but I do think a ring could hinder the illusion. I wouldn't wear one, but that's just me. I won't say that I'm going to meet a customer OTC, but if you don't have a ring I think it helps to make the illusion that you might if they impress you enough more real. I think it just depends on the guy.
Torry
04-02-2007, 05:51 PM
what if somebody actually did have a chance and the stripper got divorced and married the customer. it could happen.
britt244
04-02-2007, 06:24 PM
what if somebody actually did have a chance and the stripper got divorced and married the customer. it could happen.
:brow:
BrunetteGoddess
04-02-2007, 06:40 PM
LMAO britt
Sinder
04-02-2007, 07:07 PM
I am a frequent club goer visiting NJ clubs over the past 2 years.
One thing that continues to bother me are the strippers that wear wedding apparel while stripping.
As a single guy I am predisposed to looking at the ring finger of a woman, and when I see it in a club it is the #3 biggest turn off I have.
I NEVER tip a girl that is wearing a wedding ring. Too many college students and single mothers that need the money . . .
My. $0.02
I am interested in hearing yours . . .
Oh yer gonna hear it all right! First of all, I am engaged and I DO wear my ring to work. Whether I am wearing one or not, you have a better chance of winning the lottery than you would EVER have with me.
Obviously you are the type of guy who trolls strip clubs trying to find a date. This makes you a pathetic loser. Its not that you think that married women are undeserving of your money, you just think you'll have better shot at hooking up. If your looking for a "charity case" to give your money to, then walk your ass down to the nearest womens shelter and give it to the single moms there who could use it.
A Strip Club is about FANTASY....if I am dressed as a cop/nurse/ hot teacher...whatever, is it going to ruin your fantasy to know I am not what I am portraying?
Or how about all the men who wear their rings to th SC. Should I just ignore them becasue they have a wife at home who should strip for them? I think not.
Dude, if a guy ever made the statements you made, I'd slap the taste right out of his mouth.
This just PISSED me off.
doc-catfish
04-02-2007, 07:32 PM
One thing that continues to bother me are the strippers that wear wedding apparel while stripping.
As a single guy I am predisposed to looking at the ring finger of a woman, and when I see it in a club it is the #3 biggest turn off I have.
When I see the ring I think two things:
1) This girl is OBVIOUSLY not available
2) There is a guy @ home that dropped $$$ thousands of dollars on a ring; much more than the 400 I have in my pocket.
Maybe you should consider a third thing, an entirely plausible thing:
3) She's unmarried, but has gotten sick of customers asking her out at work, so she bought that ring at a pawn shop to keep those guys away in hopes that they'll think that she's married.
jaizaine
04-02-2007, 07:39 PM
I dont understand why everyone is jumping down the OP's throat. He is just being honest and I dont necessarily think he is going there looking for a date. A SC experience for most customers is a fantasy.
I don't know if I would notice something like a ring if I went as a customer but I can definately understand why it would be a turn off.
Most guys realise they have more chance of winning the lottery than OTC with the dancer but hey people still buy lottery tickets dont they?
Why take it as an insult? It's not like he posted that he wont buy a dance off anyone over 100lbs - I could understand how that could get people annoyed but even then, he is the one paying, so he has a right to choose who he wants to spend his cash on.
Sinder
04-02-2007, 07:51 PM
^^ In his OP, what is infuriating is that he has basicaaly said that married women do not need the money, and the fact that he is predisposed to looking at the ring finger to find that the girl is "obviously" not availiable. So by knowing/thinking that she is unavaliable, he will not consider the girl worthy of his money. That is where the insult comes to play.
WoodyLV
04-02-2007, 08:41 PM
guys typically dont like to discuss/see her BF either. the ring is like this unspoken talk/reminder. im not understanding why this wouldnt hinder the fantasy.
would anyone buy a lotto ticket if they KNEW they wouldnt win beforehand?
LapOfLuxury
04-02-2007, 08:52 PM
guys typically dont like to discuss/see her BF either. the ring is like this unspoken talk/reminder. im not understanding why this wouldnt hinder the fantasy.
would anyone buy a lotto ticket if they KNEW they wouldnt win beforehand?
Isn't "winning" a good lapdance enough...for the price of a lapdance?
If not, my advice is not to buy the "ticket," whether or not she's wearing a ring.
shirtystrumpet
04-02-2007, 09:03 PM
If we're tipping based on need here, that half-deflated girl with a crazy lumpy oozy crotch really probably needs it the most.
WoodyLV
04-02-2007, 09:07 PM
Isn't "winning" a good lapdance enough...for the price of a lapdance?
in reality, yes. in fantasy, no.
'i' believe a lot guys go to the club for fantasy.
obeythegir
04-02-2007, 09:18 PM
Many people are wearing a band that is a family heirloom...which would have cost the husband nothing.
In fact she could be stripping to support her 2 children and pay for her college education while her military husband is overseas.
Would you appreciate it if your income were based on your marital status instead of your job performance?
2) There is a guy @ home that dropped $$$ thousands of dollars on a ring; much more than the 400 I have in my pocket.
I NEVER tip a girl that is wearing a wedding ring. Too many college students and single mothers that need the money . . .
My. $0.02
I am interested in hearing yours . . .
jaizaine
04-02-2007, 10:19 PM
^^ In his OP, what is infuriating is that he has basicaaly said that married women do not need the money, and the fact that he is predisposed to looking at the ring finger to find that the girl is "obviously" not availiable. So by knowing/thinking that she is unavaliable, he will not consider the girl worthy of his money. That is where the insult comes to play.
Oh ok I see your point about that. I don't understand men who buy dances based on charitable purposes anyway. I think the whole dancer sob stories is pretty lame and pathethic anyway. The man should pay based on who he is attracted to physically, personality-wise and/or intellectually.
UtahMike
04-03-2007, 12:02 AM
I've been trying REALLY hard, but I can't remember looking at the hands of any of the dancers on my last three strip club visits.
Sinder
04-03-2007, 09:10 AM
^^Good! I should hope a guys eyes are drawn to my tits and ass as opposed to my hand! Good Mikey *pats head*
verfolgung
04-03-2007, 10:00 AM
My question is why is he paying more attention to her fingers instead of her breasts, ass, face, way of dancing, etc.? ...
It may not be that he is paying more attention to the fingers vs. those other things, but it may help be one more deciding factor. For example, he goes into a club and sees two dancers with a similar look and similar style ... not that he's looking for a date, but he chooses the one without the wedding ring because it adds to the fantasy. I can see that.
DaniAnne
04-03-2007, 01:19 PM
The bottom line is guys choose who they dance with for many reasons - some are what we expect and usually based on physical attributes and/or personality. We all know that some of the factors guys use to decide if they want a dance from a particular girl are just silly - like if she's wearing a wedding ring or not. But, it is their money and most of us would just move on to the next customer. We hear "no's" a lot and I'm sure that a lot of those rejections are based on something silly or a particular "requirement" that a customer has.
However, I think it is VERY rude to not tip a girl based on if she has a wedding band on or not (and what about the girls that wear a ring on that finer just because?). If I did a great stage set and came off stage to a guy refusing to tip me because I had a wedding ring on I would be absolutely livid. That would be like refusing to tip brunettes because you only like blondes.
ChubbyChaser
04-03-2007, 01:48 PM
When I was engaged I would switch my ring to the other hand. It seemed like a good comprimise and it helped me get into "stripper-mode". However, the pole dinged it up a bit.
WhiteTara
04-03-2007, 03:00 PM
Maybe you should consider a third thing, an entirely plausible thing:
3) She's unmarried, but has gotten sick of customers asking her out at work, so she bought that ring at a pawn shop to keep those guys away in hopes that they'll think that she's married.
This would be me. I *was* married, but later divorced. Kept wearing the ring because I found it handy to get out of invitations. I never noticed a reduction in tips, dances, or regular customers. Most custies don't even notice until I point it out.
I think the OP should reconsider not tipping married dancers. You can't possibly KNOW for certain any dancer's marital status. Even if that weren't the case, we're still entertainers dancing for YOU! But then I think of tipping as a courtesy for a service performed, not some kind of carrot and stick. Don't get a private dance if you don't like the girl's boobs, finger jewelry, papilloma virus or syphilitic sore. But not tipping? C'mon...
mdiver
04-03-2007, 03:00 PM
I've been trying REALLY hard, but I can't remember looking at the hands of any of the dancers on my last three strip club visits.
They have hands?
Susan Wayward
04-03-2007, 03:32 PM
I'm married and I don't need any money, I just strip because I'm an insanely horny exhibitionist who wants to tease a lot of men.
And did I mention how horny money makes me?
salsa4ever
04-03-2007, 04:31 PM
wedding ring does have an effect on me
from the 'fantasy' standpoint, it detracts from the experience. I also think that an exotic dancer - a performer - should be doing right all the little things that contribute to a performance. In this respect, a wedding ring means "I know I'm supposed to be cast in this role (of seductress) but I don't care that much. I care about my family and my partner more than my performance image" (which btw is perfectly understandable). It's like wearing a shitty eye shadow, distasteful tan lines/tattoos, badly done nipples/tape, crap costumes... I might even say it's unprofessional (I haven't made up my mind whether I'd take it *that* far yet)
Definitely not a deal breaker though. And I don't look for wedding rings on girls. I look for the detail generally. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I don't
PS and for those bashing the "fantasy", it's not really that I want to marry the stripper. But I have to be convinced *during the duration of the dance* that the girl thinks I'm absolutely hot, wants to take me home, and we are totally in love. After all, in many cultures (aztec, shang), the girls would in fact dance for prospective partners and if the mood isn't there, the dance is shit. Ever seen a technically perfect tango with no emotion? BORING!
Ring-no ring isn't an accurate indicator of the dancers status. And for casual dances, tips, etc I really don't care anyway. If things, over time, start moving towards an LTR then I do care.
FBR
Katrine
04-03-2007, 08:21 PM
I'm with the guys on this one. We're not about to change their mind. Unless the guy was very cool, I was ALWAYS single. Once I said I wasn't, the money would run away. As badass as we ladies think we are here on Stripperweb, there were nights when I NEEDED the money, and giving away that piece of personal info wasn't going to help.
Why are you all jumping on this dude? I've seen spenders just STOP when they realize they weren't getting anywhere. He has a valid point. Nevertheless, I am glad that some of the ladies still did very well with honesty.
Kat you were honest for a minute and then hedged your bet with some grrl power stuff ;)
FBR
Katrine
04-03-2007, 08:44 PM
Kat you were honest for a minute and then hedged your bet with some grrl power stuff ;)
FBR
You like that huh? I play both sides of the fence. Diplomacy!:-X
As I have commented on other similar threads, wearing a wedding/engagement ring to the club is a deal breaker and can cause dancers to lose sales.
Many of these guys want to feel we are available. I could write a LONG thread involving all the negative instances I have experienced which cost me money and lost me customers, as well as those for co-workers, all because the customer found out their favorite dancers were engaged or married.
Of course my opinion on the subject is that guys should just come to the club to kick it by enjoying some dances, a drink or two, and some stage tipping with no emotional interest in the girls they are spending money on, but many times that is not the case. When a guy feels we are not available, the money 8 times out of 10 dries up. The age of the customer is irrelevant. The older ones who spend the most money are the ones who will "vanish" once they see we have someone.
blondi553
04-04-2007, 08:35 PM
i just wanted to put my 2 cents in this thread....i always wore my ring and no one ever acted any different towards me. so it doesnt always matter....most of the times they were too drunk to care about things like that when they could be looking at other parts of the body lol! :)
Laylas
04-05-2007, 03:14 PM
I can see how wearing a ring might weed out custys who tend to get emotionally invested in their dancer (aka guys in stripclubs looking for soulmates), but I don't know if the pay cut would be worth it...
I have, on the other hand, seen guys who were actually turned on by the idea of getting a dance from a married woman. Like the dancer was "cheating" on her man with him.
Susan Wayward
04-06-2007, 12:32 AM
But I have to be convinced *during the duration of the dance* that the girl thinks I'm absolutely hot, wants to take me home, and we are totally in love.
Shit, most guys just have to be convinced that we're naked, smiling, and on top of them . . . you're one demanding (and wow, the above quote is depressingly needy) customer. I hope you tip fucking well for the amazing performances you receive.
AlexxaHex
04-06-2007, 01:17 AM
^^:laughing:
Seriously!!
I hope you are prepared to bring a big fat engagement ring next time you come to the club since we are so in love. ::)
Bridgette
04-06-2007, 02:07 AM
Define generously. In my experience the guys for whom this is an issue are rarely great customers.Exactly. I wonder why [the ring[/i] is such an issue - don't all guys just assume we all have boyfriends or something anyway? ::)
No, not in my experience. Of course it depends on the club. In clubs with a more transient clientele, it may not be that big of an issue. Sometimes I will wear my ring in those types of clubs. But in many clubs with a more regular customer base, where many dancers have established customers, and where the customers are known by much of the staff, open knowledge of a boyfriend or husband could spell doomsday.
Plus other girls could leak out a dancers "relationship status" to a customer accidentally, or on purpose if they become jealous or money hungry.
One SW memberwas working with me one week on a booking and was sitting with a customer who had bought from me in the past pretty much every time he came in the club. He mentioned he hadn't seen her at the club before, and in the conversation he asked her how she got to work and she told him she rode with me and my guy. She meant no harm, she was just talking. Well lo and behold, he would never buy from me again.
Many good customers can be lost once they see you are "attached". The name "Teasers", and "Heartbreakers" have been given to strip clubs for a reason.
Lots of these guys regularly buy from their favorite dancer or become regulars because they hope one day something will develop. And eventually when it doesn't, they go away. The "hobbyists" such as Chili Palmer and the like just enjoy the bumping and grinding from a variety of girls whom they find sexually attractive. They don't get emotionally involved.
But for lots of guys, the only reason they go to a club is because of their attraction to a certain dancer. Once that dancer seems unattainable, their interest in strip clubs in general is non-existant. Their greatest fear is that the dancer they have fallen for is taken.
If a dancer works in a club where they have a loyal following of guys, not appearing single could be a deal breaker to 60-70% of them. Many nof these guys spend good money. REALLY good. They spend a lot becasue they like you.
evan_essence
04-07-2007, 05:57 PM
No one has mentioned that an unmarried customer may actually RESPECT the institution of marriage to the point that he thinks he doesn't have any business fantasizing about anyone but a single woman.
Okay, I'm just shittin' ya. Pretty funny, huh?
-Ev
evan_essence
04-07-2007, 06:07 PM
... and obvious std growth down-under is #(1)Oh, don't let the growth down-under fool you. Lots of girls fake that with makeup just to keep you from sticking your fingers in there. It's not necessarily a sign of actually having an STD.
When I see the ring I think two things:
1) This girl is OBVIOUSLY not available
2) There is a guy @ home that dropped $$$ thousands of dollars on a ring; much more than the 400 I have in my pocket.3) This girl OBVIOUSLY has a family support system and is not desperate enough to blow me for $20. :'(
-Ev
salsa4ever
04-07-2007, 08:40 PM
Shit, most guys just have to be convinced that we're naked, smiling, and on top of them . . . you're one demanding (and wow, the above quote is depressingly needy) customer. I hope you tip fucking well for the amazing performances you receive.
I'll answer your question first. I do tip well when I receive such a splendid performance, but it's not all the time
I'm describing the ideal... the pinnacle of what exotic dancer should be for me. I never purported to represent the entire male species. And if a dance falls short of that mark, doesn't mean it's not still a great dance.
In the end, I don't think it's disputable that wearing a ring is antithetical to the character and purpose of exotic dancing. It's open to debate how important it is. I think it's not important because it says the dancer is taken, because I couldn't care less. But it signals that the dancer is not 100% committed to presenting the best possible image and taking her work seriously.
It's like being a lawyer and dressing inappropriately. Should it matter? No. Does it mean you're incompetent? Not on it's own. Does it signal you don't take your work seriously and with the utmost pride? Yes.
Jenny
04-07-2007, 08:57 PM
In the end, I don't think it's disputable that wearing a ring is antithetical to the character and purpose of exotic dancing. It's open to debate how important it is. I think it's not important because it says the dancer is taken, because I couldn't care less. But it signals that the dancer is not 100% committed to presenting the best possible image and taking her work seriously.
What do you mean, it's indisputable? We're disputing it. Other customers are disputing it. Exactly what some of us are saying is that the ring DOES NOT signal that she is not 100% committed to presenting "the best possible image." Of course it's disputable.
Susan Wayward
04-07-2007, 09:16 PM
In the end, I don't think it's disputable that wearing a ring is antithetical to the character and purpose of exotic dancing.
Oh, now, don't leave us hanging! I absolutely have to hear what you say is the "character and purpose of exotic dancing."
What you mean, clearly, is that the thought of married women as sex objects disturbs you. That's fine; that's your deal. But when you project those issues onto all married/ring-wearing dancers . . . .
http://www.rivercitykitty.com/images/ringfinger.jpg
Prester_John
04-07-2007, 09:46 PM
I'll answer your question first. I do tip well when I receive such a splendid performance, but it's not all the time
I'm describing the ideal... the pinnacle of what exotic dancer should be for me. I never purported to represent the entire male species. And if a dance falls short of that mark, doesn't mean it's not still a great dance.
In the end, I don't think it's disputable that wearing a ring is antithetical to the character and purpose of exotic dancing. It's open to debate how important it is. I think it's not important because it says the dancer is taken, because I couldn't care less. But it signals that the dancer is not 100% committed to presenting the best possible image and taking her work seriously.
It's like being a lawyer and dressing inappropriately. Should it matter? No. Does it mean you're incompetent? Not on it's own. Does it signal you don't take your work seriously and with the utmost pride? Yes.
I must say, this is one of the most well thought out and well stated really stupid statements Ive ever read here on Stripperweb.
gingerlee
04-08-2007, 12:01 AM
Oh, now, don't leave us hanging! I absolutely have to hear what you say is the "character and purpose of exotic dancing."
What you mean, clearly, is that the thought of married women as sex objects disturbs you. That's fine; that's your deal. But when you project those issues onto all married/ring-wearing dancers . . . .
http://www.rivercitykitty.com/images/ringfinger.jpg
:thanx:
And I'm not even married anymore!
AlexxaHex
04-08-2007, 12:14 AM
That's hot.
LatinaRose
04-08-2007, 01:17 AM
^^LOL!!
salsa4ever
04-08-2007, 07:37 AM
What you mean, clearly, is that the thought of married women as sex objects disturbs you. That's fine; that's your deal.
I agree. I hadn't thought of it that way before, but it's true that my entire position hinges on an assumption that the ideal striptease is performed by an ostensibly unattached dancer. I make no apologies for that position. I don't see why it's any less valid a position than the alternative.
As for "imposing" it on everyone, I did not. The OP stated he thinks striptease dancers should not wear rings, and asked for comment. I gave it.
Let's assume there are X% of people who dislike dancers wearing wedding rings, and y% of people who don't give a shit. I'll assume that nobody actually *prefers* dancer wearing rings - I have no compelling basis for this, other than the fact I've never heard anyone actually express such a preference. From a purely strategic standpoint, isn't it optimal for a dancer not to wear a ring because the ring is beneficial in 0% of cases and harmful in >0% of cases? It follows that "girls who want to maximize their earnings potential should not wear a ring". You might say the difference is negligible. Maybe it is, may be it's not
kdogg247
04-08-2007, 07:45 AM
I personally do not care if a stripper is married as long as her jealous husband doesn't show up at the club with a gun while I'm there.
Susan Wayward
04-08-2007, 12:34 PM
And I don't care if you're married as long as your wife doesn't barge in and try to kick me off of your lap. :)
I agree. I hadn't thought of it that way before, but it's true that my entire position hinges on an assumption that the ideal striptease is performed by an ostensibly unattached dancer. I make no apologies for that position. I don't see why it's any less valid a position than the alternative.
Are you or have you ever been married? How severe, exactly, is your Madonna/whore complex?
As for "imposing" it on everyone, I did not.
You said it was indisputable, and then you accused strippers with rings of being shitty at their job and uncommitted to doing it well. That's something of an imposition. "I don't like it because it fucks up my fantasy and kills my boner" would have been just fine, but then you go and say a ring-wearing stripper is a bad stripper? That's an imposition and an insult.
You know, it's always entertaining to me when a customer says something like, "You would make so much more if you did blah blah blah." Like one idiot tried to tell me precisely how spreading my legs more on stage would make me rich. Uh, no it won't. Perverts will give me a few more singles, but in no way, none, zip, will it help me sell dances or VIPs. But the guy thought he knew how what would make more money, when in reality he was only projecting his desires. But I'm sure he'd be all, "well, you'd show more vag if you were really committed to the job."
Casual Observer
04-08-2007, 07:28 PM
I hadn't thought of it that way before, but it's true that my entire position hinges on an assumption that the ideal striptease is performed by an ostensibly unattached dancer.
Why do you presume that married or otherwise attached dancers are by default unavailable? Clearly, you need to spend some more time in the field...
James Bond
04-09-2007, 10:12 AM
One of the reasons I go to a SC is to AVOID commitment and responsibilty, not find it. The more the dancer is committed to a SO or husband the better.
I don't think guys in general are into this fantasy thing that others have talked about (maybe a small percentage). Guys think sex; girls think fantasy/relationships.
Maybe the dancers are projecting onto the customer what she THINKS is going through his mind, when in fact, it's not.
Susan Wayward
04-09-2007, 10:38 AM
Why do you presume that married or otherwise attached dancers are by default unavailable? Clearly, you need to spend some more time in the field...
Hee hee; so true; I have known many a married lady in or out of the club who wasn't "unavailable."
One of the reasons I go to a SC is to AVOID commitment and responsibilty, not find it.
So true; I think the exact thing a lot of men like about the club is that they know they're never going to see us again.
Phil-W
04-09-2007, 12:14 PM
Ah, the good old hall of smoke and mirrors that is a SC.
Will Mrs Married Dancer lose Mr High Rolling Regular when he finds out she's married?
Will Ms Single Mum be able to meet her credit card payments if Mr Knight in Shining Armour doesn't come in?
Will Mrs/Ms Dancer with STD (or applied makeup) make it down to the clinic in time this week?
Tune in for the next episode of America's best loved soap opera - Exotic Dancers.
Phil. }:D