View Full Version : The Random Thread
Yekhefah
10-15-2007, 04:17 PM
For two weeks K has been telling me he'd be home Friday the 20th. I was feeling depressed today and agreed to meet a friend for lunch... and fucking K showed up! Turns out he wanted to surprise me and he bailed on the last week of the show to spend more time with me before he has to go away again. Man it's good to have him home, even if I had no notice and I looked awful. I just want to snuggle and snuggle him but he has to sleep right now... phooey.
RoseWhite
10-15-2007, 05:10 PM
^^ You're back! You're back! :hyper:
How did it go? I'll poke around and see if you wrote about it elsewhere (just logged on). . .
britt244
10-15-2007, 07:39 PM
i feel so incredibly uncomfortable right now.
i just wrote a blog about when i started dancing and how i started using coke.
i feel sick. i wish i could block all that out. it puts me in such a bad place. i thought getting it out would get it out of my head but i was wrong. why can other people block out traumatic things but i cant? and yes, this is traumatic to me. i feel like crying now.
why am i so all or nothing? why can't i ever do anything just a little bit? i never would've ended up with a problem if i had been able to keep it under control. my thinking was always well hey if i'm doing it i might as well go all out. and why can't i do things recreationally like other people? why do i feel so guilty when other people don't? it's not fair.
Embyr
10-15-2007, 07:53 PM
^^^ I am so very much the same way... I think most people w/ addictions of some kind are like that. black and white and no gray. Either way up or way down, rewarding myself or punishing myself, in the clouds or stuck with the blues.... there are pretty rare instances where I actually feel mellow and content. Sometimes I wonder if trading intelligence and introspection for "normalcy" and the ability to feel "level" would be worth it. You feel like this, too, Britt?
britt244
10-15-2007, 07:54 PM
^ omg yes. in therapy today i wasn't even making sense to myself. i think too much, that's my problem. and i don't think clearly. i can say two totally opposite things in the same sentence. i wish i could just not care anymore. i wish everything wasn't always an extreme but it is and i wish my brain wasn't like that :(
ArmySGT.
10-15-2007, 07:55 PM
SHHHHHHHHH everyone is watch Heroes.
britt244
10-15-2007, 08:09 PM
^^^ I am so very much the same way... I think most people w/ addictions of some kind are like that. black and white and no gray. Either way up or way down, rewarding myself or punishing myself, in the clouds or stuck with the blues.... there are pretty rare instances where I actually feel mellow and content. Sometimes I wonder if trading intelligence and introspection for "normalcy" and the ability to feel "level" would be worth it. You feel like this, too, Britt?
and another thing.. sometimes i dont know what to do with my feelings. that doesnt sound like it makes sense but i know what i mean haha. like, when i'm happy, i get bouncing off the walls crazy happy. and then it's like.. wait.. what do i do with this happiness? and that's a strange feeling. does that make sense?
ArmySGT.
10-15-2007, 08:18 PM
Want confliction? So I am listening to Enigma ---- MCMCX A.D. and writing a resume at the same time. Horny and bored. Ha ha. (insert sarcasm smiley).
I hate writing about myself. This is probably true for most males.
Not this one. One of the few benefits of egotism. In fact, I just started a blog in order to exercise this bad habit.
Good luck with the resume writing and the job you are pursuing.
snoopy
10-15-2007, 08:35 PM
i just wrote a blog about when i started dancing and how i started using coke.
i feel sick. i wish i could block all that out. it puts me in such a bad place. i thought getting it out would get it out of my head but i was wrong. why can other people block out traumatic things but i cant? and yes, this is traumatic to me. i feel like crying now.embrace your mistakes and learn from them. nobody goes thru life doing it perfectly. it'd be boring then. :D
as long as you learn from your mistakes, you're on the right track. others don't block out their screwups, we learn to live with them.
their some of the only things we can truly call our own. but they do define us. they set the borders of what we don't want to do again, don't want to feel/experience again, or what we shouldn't be.
it's like getting burned. it's a very traumatic experience but you stored it away for future reference for self-preservation, "oh, fire. me no touch."
don't let the guilt or enormity of the memory overwhlem you. use it to motivate you. use it to protect you. good luck! ;)
Embyr
10-15-2007, 08:48 PM
I have a very, very, very bad feeling that I'm not going to get laid on my b-day. >:(
Between work, school, and plans kinda falling apart (alright, and I kinda wiped my man-slate clean about a month ago, too, 'cause I'm picky and the 2-3 guys I was seeing were getting to me) it looks like I won't be getting any this thursday.....
uhhhh... NO!!!!! I mean... I'm REALLy not good at going to bars and playing the "single" card. oy. And I can't work 'cause I have school that day. No canyon riding 'cause the bike's a little out of commission for something that extreme... damn. Um... anyone have the number of a hot male companion in SoCal? I think my morals are deflated enough for a night of raunchy chippendale-like fun. (alright, i lie.)
I have a feeling you're right.
I'm changing my gift from chain lube to batteries.
I test rode 08 busa over the weekend, too. Different enough from mine to almost warrant it.
Embyr
10-15-2007, 08:59 PM
^^ "i'm right?" about not getting laid??:O
damn... when another SW'er agrees with a bad prediction you KNOW it's a crappy situation! :P
OOhh the new busa? awesome! I'm waiting to try the tricolore monster and the triumph sTrEEt triple. lighter & lower than the speed triple... but not out quite yet.
i like batteries... but dammit i still have 3 days to find someone! "it ain't over til it's over!"
It's quite impressive. Different power band than mine, in some ways it's a little less fun but it's technically a better machine by quite a lot. I've never really had an appreciation for torque-y bikes outside of trying to do wheelies and stuff. I do watch Formula 1 every 2 weeks, after all.
The new Street triple is quite nice. The headlight assembly and its "face" is odd yet somehow pleasing. Kinda like...AinNY.
But it's Suzuki for me always.
But my first debate is Titan or Armada. My Grand Cherokee did save my life, but Nismo is where my heart is.
RoseLeigh
10-15-2007, 09:30 PM
I have a very, very, very bad feeling that I'm not going to get laid on my b-day. >:(
*hugs* Join the club, hon. No loving for me either. *hands you the club t-shirt and pin* maybe you can get some hot SW chatroom action?
Embyr
10-15-2007, 09:33 PM
OH NOES!!! You're not getting any B-day BOO-TAY???? hmmm.... *dials special number* ok, if two "cops" show up at your door in 30 minutes don't be alarmed, k??? ;D
RoseLeigh
10-15-2007, 09:36 PM
OH NOES!!! You're not getting any B-day BOO-TAY???? hmmm.... *dials special number* ok, if two "cops" show up at your door in 30 minutes don't be alarmed, k??? ;D
Nope. The boy's far far away. We talked online but the connection was crap as is his phone connection. Not a great venue for the sexin'. Damn Eastern European infrastructure.
LOL I need the special dial-a-guy phone number!
Danielle_
10-15-2007, 09:44 PM
Embyr-Hope you get some for your bday. I didn't on my last, which sucked. A male friend of mine who's a huge nerd & never gets laid got some on his, so maybe there's hope for all of us yet.
i feel sick. i wish i could block all that out. it puts me in such a bad place. i thought getting it out would get it out of my head but i was wrong. why can other people block out traumatic things but i cant? and yes, this is traumatic to me. i feel like crying now.
I can't relate to you on the addict side, but I do relate on wishing I could block out bad things that happened in my past. My sister can actually do this. Every once in a while I'll happen to bring something up that happened to her & she'll get all confused & say "Oh, I forgot about that, I guess I blocked it out, cause it upset me so much". Damn, wish I could do that.
BTW-To everyone who's talking about the highs & lows concerning your feelings, I get that too. I have the same problem.
Now, I'm off to get drunk as fast as possible because I need to get a hangover. Sounds strange, but I have to do something tomorrow that I'm very nervous about & when I have a hangover I'm sort of more concerned w/ than whatever I would be worried about.
RoseLeigh
10-15-2007, 10:00 PM
i feel so incredibly uncomfortable right now.
i just wrote a blog about when i started dancing and how i started using coke.
i feel sick. i wish i could block all that out. it puts me in such a bad place. i thought getting it out would get it out of my head but i was wrong. why can other people block out traumatic things but i cant? and yes, this is traumatic to me. i feel like crying now.
I've been having some probs with this as well (the getting stuff out of my head part). I've been reading some good books about reframing and the like, which I am trying-it's taking yourself out of your mental picture of the situation and changing it to make it less emotionally evocative. Maybe ask your therapist about this? Blocking out stuff can be not healthy, but distancing yourself from unnecessary past stuff can help you live in the present.
The books are: Managing Your Mind by Gillian Butler, and Change your life in 7 days by Paul McKenna.
Good luck, hon.
Darcy Foxx
10-15-2007, 10:10 PM
i love leftover pizza. i shouldn't eat it, because i'm not going to the gym today, but oh well.
iambonbon05
10-15-2007, 10:28 PM
Went to Salem to take C to Olive Garden for his birthday and afterwards we tried to find the club I want to work at but we couldn't find it even though I looked up directions first >:(
Callyish
10-15-2007, 11:36 PM
OMG... okay so ummm im totally falling for my guy..everytime I think about him I get the 'butterfly feeling' and I can't get him out of my mind and I find myself constantly thinking about him and I dunno this is weird... i've only known him since March and didn't see him for the first time till end of August and fuck I don't know its confusing me and making me feel weird and and and... fuck I don't know! LoL... plus we only became offical like a month ago...
Im not complaining thats for sure... hes so amazing and wonderful and perfect in so many ways!!! We talk all day every day and I miss him like crazy and I can't wait to see him again!
*runs away feeling all mushy n stuff*
austinatalie
10-15-2007, 11:47 PM
Now, I'm off to get drunk as fast as possible because I need to get a hangover. Sounds strange, but I have to do something tomorrow that I'm very nervous about & when I have a hangover I'm sort of more concerned w/ than whatever I would be worried about.
I'm really trying hard to understand this. You mean to say that having a hangover when something important is up is somehow comforting because it distracts you from the anxiety? Kind of like how sometimes if you tell someone your foot hurts they will pinch your arm (jokingly) to shift the focus?
But more still, if you are aware of your own defense mechanism in this way, don't you think your purpose would be better served with less pain if you just focused on your initial problem?
cherryripeboy
10-15-2007, 11:59 PM
It is 2 am.... I am tired, my stomach is bleh. I had to take pepcid for heartburn... gah that shit if awful. So I'm up surfing the net when I desperately need sleep. As I'm looking for the most recent epi of heroes, I a site pops up, and starts talking. It is a health care ad and supposed to be some families home video... ok at 2am I'm not tolerant of very much (when I'm supposed to be sleeping) but dam a talking add, even porn sites rarely do that anymore...
sxybrat07
10-16-2007, 12:45 AM
OMG, I took a capoeira class for the first time in 3 years tonight (maybe 4) and my legs are shaky. I am going to be in so damn much pain tomorrow. Boo :( But it was fun :)
AlexxaHex
10-16-2007, 12:52 AM
I just ordered some herbal remedy for my Pogo kitty's sinus problem. It's been going on for a while but he's still eating and drinking so I let it go because we've been so broke. But I treat my own illnesses with natural remedies...and there is no vet I really trust around here...so why not do the same for the cats?
The last vet I took him to gave him weeks worth of antibiotics which really messed with his digestion and she sold me this ridiculously overpriced "special urinary tract" food which was full of by-products. I had to give him probiotics which I found out through my OWN research. Plus the office was basically a little shack in the middle of the desert and she looked sick herself. The other place I took him to didn't give him the right meds and didn't even WEIGH him!
I brought them to a place in Buffalo once that almost killed Siren with a round of vaccines. Then I thought about it - I'm a fucking nazi about not letting them outside AT ALL so how the fuck are they gonna get rabies? No more shots - no more bad reactions.
I hate finding decent medical professionals. They are so few and far between. If this turns out to be something other than what I thought then I might have to take him to get a "professional" diagnosis and I have no idea who to trust in SoCal.
Lysondra
10-16-2007, 02:45 AM
I think rice just fell out of my foot. o.O;
Budai
10-16-2007, 03:00 AM
I think rice just fell out of my foot. o.O;
I believe that phenomenon is referred to as "W.C.S." (Wedding Crasher Syndrome) ;)
Darcy Foxx
10-16-2007, 07:34 AM
i love xanax
cameron_keys
10-16-2007, 07:40 AM
i love xanax
I wish Xanax had an affect on me
RoseLeigh
10-16-2007, 07:44 AM
I'm hearing all this noise in the hall, and thinking-who's killing a cat? Open the door-it's crap housemate shreiking the new Alicia Keys. The door is closed too. It's just that loud and painful.
I believe I have some sink laundry to do at the moment...
Darcy Foxx
10-16-2007, 07:45 AM
it fucks me up. probably because i haven't really taken it much.
Darcy Foxx
10-16-2007, 07:46 AM
Open the door-it's crap housemate shreiking the new Alicia Keys.
ew. you poor thing.
cameron_keys
10-16-2007, 07:59 AM
it fucks me up. probably because i haven't really taken it much.
Yeah I get nothing from it. I might as well be swallowing tic tacs. It was one of the 8 bazillion drugs my Dr tried on me that had no affect on me.
Stupid high tolerance.
Yekhefah
10-16-2007, 08:05 AM
^^^ The joys of being Irish!
They've actually proved that Irish people have a higher tolerance for medication. It takes much more anaesthesia to put Irish people to sleep for surgery, and you're much more likely to wake up during the surgery. Plus, on top of it all, Irish people have a LOWER tolerance for pain. So you hurt more and can do less to fix it!
Darcy Foxx
10-16-2007, 08:09 AM
really? that sucks.
i'm all german, and a bit dutch, i think. medication always hits me really hard.
cameron_keys
10-16-2007, 08:09 AM
^^^ The joys of being Irish!
They've actually proved that Irish people have a higher tolerance for medication. It takes much more anaesthesia to put Irish people to sleep for surgery, and you're much more likely to wake up during the surgery. Plus, on top of it all, Irish people have a LOWER tolerance for pain. So you hurt more and can do less to fix it!
Yep. It SO isnt fair. If I have to have bone crushing pain....I should at least be able to take happy pills to make it all better. But no....I'm stuck with a tolerance that makes most pills that have a normal person flying by taking a half...I can take 10 and it does nothing.
It should be one or the other...pain OR high tolerance. Was I fucking Hitler in the past or something that I'm being punished with this shit now????
And the lst time I had surgery on my pancreas I TOLD the anesthesiologist taht I have a high tolerance. He assured me that what he was giving me was the strongest there is and I'd be out for hours and hours...blah blah blah....Yeah...I woke up in the middle of surgery.
On the other hand....its kept me off illegal drugs. Becuase I already know they prob wont even work on me so why bother?
DJ Maimed
10-16-2007, 09:29 AM
Yep. It SO isnt fair. If I have to have bone crushing pain....I should at least be able to take happy pills to make it all better. But no....I'm stuck with a tolerance that makes most pills that have a normal person flying by taking a half...I can take 10 and it does nothing.
It should be one or the other...pain OR high tolerance. Was I fucking Hitler in the past or something that I'm being punished with this shit now????
And the lst time I had surgery on my pancreas I TOLD the anesthesiologist taht I have a high tolerance. He assured me that what he was giving me was the strongest there is and I'd be out for hours and hours...blah blah blah....Yeah...I woke up in the middle of surgery.
On the other hand....its kept me off illegal drugs. Becuase I already know they prob wont even work on me so why bother?
^^^ Got the same prob....last time I was at the dentist I heard the guy tellin' his assistant "I gave this guy enough to numb an oxes ass!!".
cameron_keys
10-16-2007, 09:33 AM
^^^ Got the same prob....last time I was at the dentist I heard the guy tellin' his assistant "I gave this guy enough to numb an oxes ass!!".
Dont you fucking hate it when you tell them that and they look at you like your just some junkie looking for a fix?
Yeah..I magically screwed up my organs/teeth/etc...JUST so I can have surgery and get drugs ONE time.::)
Then they look all surprised when the shit wears off super fast or doesnt work. Duh...what part of idiotic high tolerance didnt you understand????
Lady Jade
10-16-2007, 09:41 AM
I don't think I'm ever going to get enough sleep. I had almost 10 hours last night, and I'm already falling asleep again. I guess I might as well drag my ass to work since I've been gone for 3 days. Maybe that'll make me less tired.
sxybrat07
10-16-2007, 10:04 AM
Oh dear god. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Bah.
Embyr
10-16-2007, 12:44 PM
Umm... I don't know where else to post this, because it is TOTALLY random.... but I felt it had to be shared. My friend just posted this on my sportbike forum. This is a killer whale... penis....
http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u272/TheSauce_69/04oct9-killer-whale-penis.jpg
britt244
10-16-2007, 12:48 PM
I've been having some probs with this as well (the getting stuff out of my head part). I've been reading some good books about reframing and the like, which I am trying-it's taking yourself out of your mental picture of the situation and changing it to make it less emotionally evocative. Maybe ask your therapist about this? Blocking out stuff can be not healthy, but distancing yourself from unnecessary past stuff can help you live in the present.
The books are: Managing Your Mind by Gillian Butler, and Change your life in 7 days by Paul McKenna.
Good luck, hon.
i just want to say that i really like you. :) seriously, all your posts are so awesome lately.
OMG, I took a capoeira class for the first time in 3 years tonight (maybe 4) and my legs are shaky. I am going to be in so damn much pain tomorrow. Boo :( But it was fun :)
whats capoeria?
i dunno whats going on but i'm so much less tired lately. i wake up early (6 or 8 depending on the day) for school and my internship and i'm not ready to pass out when i get home anymore! its prob a combination of not drinking, my body just getting used to it, and maybe the foods im eating since i'm eating healthier? whatever it is i like it! (except for the fact that i NEED to nap now haha because i have to work tonight)
Samba
10-16-2007, 01:23 PM
I think my upstairs neighbors are sumo wrestlers in training.
sxybrat07
10-16-2007, 01:30 PM
whats capoeria?
Capoeira is a brazilian martial art. It was created by slaves trying to escape slavery in Brazil, it looks like a dance, or a game, but it teaches kicks and such. It looks kinda like breakdancing. There's alot of info on the website of my school, www.saltlakecapoeira.com . I know there's alot of other sites as well if you google them. Check out some of the videos, they're amazing!
Oh, and it's a great workout...but...OW!
Callyish
10-16-2007, 01:44 PM
So I did my shoulder in AGAIN... yea it hurts like a bitch and I wanna kill someone *snarl*
BrunetteGoddess
10-16-2007, 01:45 PM
Dun dun duuun!
I have to go to the Cali DMV today where they can rape me up down and sidesways with their fees for a DL and registration. Yaay!
cameron_keys
10-16-2007, 01:50 PM
Dun dun duuun!
I have to go to the Cali DMV today where they can rape me up down and sidesways with their fees for a DL and registration. Yaay!
Make them buy you dinner first.
Danielle_
10-16-2007, 02:32 PM
I believe that phenomenon is referred to as "W.C.S." (Wedding Crasher Syndrome) ;)
hilarious
Umm... I don't know where else to post this, because it is TOTALLY random.... but I felt it had to be shared. My friend just posted this on my sportbike forum. This is a killer whale... penis....
What's funny is I've seen a pic of a whale penis before from a friend who's studying to be a vet, but it wasn't that close.
I'm really trying hard to understand this. You mean to say that having a hangover when something important is up is somehow comforting because it distracts you from the anxiety? Kind of like how sometimes if you tell someone your foot hurts they will pinch your arm (jokingly) to shift the focus?
But more still, if you are aware of your own defense mechanism in this way, don't you think your purpose would be better served with less pain if you just focused on your initial problem?
Yes, that's what I mean. I actually wish I wasn't so focused on everything. It's my intense projecting of my fears in advance that screws me up for the present.
britt244
10-16-2007, 03:42 PM
my lush store has christmas stufffffffffff ;D