View Full Version : The Random Thread
Bob_Loblaw
03-22-2008, 11:21 PM
Team America = shitload of laughs.
Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
fancygirl
03-22-2008, 11:22 PM
^something worth memorizing to bring out on command at work.
hockeybobby
03-22-2008, 11:24 PM
Like I said...a SHITLOAD!!! ;D
BrunetteGoddess
03-22-2008, 11:59 PM
LOL....
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g288/mrcAZ/funny.gif
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 12:09 AM
no tapioca at cvs so i got kellog's with strawberries
not great, but two months ago I would have been at the 24 hour diner having cheese fries.
BrunetteGoddess
03-23-2008, 12:11 AM
Eating strawberry shortcake.
RoseLeigh
03-23-2008, 12:41 AM
Working Saturday night after only squeezing in an Uno's panini and some fries all day is not the way to go. Wow I was useless after 11:30. On the bright side-taxes are DONE. Even those scary Philly ones. On the sad side-all my money this weekend must go to taxes. :(
MsQwerty
03-23-2008, 12:47 AM
Hurray!!! >dances<
I dont eat pork anymore anyway :D
I still cant use chopsticks though!
quote=Lysondra;1461534]I CAN I CAN!
There's no milk!
Just no pork shabushabu![/quote]
MsQwerty
03-23-2008, 01:05 AM
Im in an internet cafe, the guy next to me keeps checking me out. Its pissing me off.
TheTempest
03-23-2008, 01:11 AM
*sigh* britt figured me out. I'm really a 12 year-old boy from Greenland whose penis was severed in a horrific farming accident... :-[
You're a hot boy. I'd do you, if I wasn't more interested in Asian chicks.
the hockeybobby knows ;)
HockeBobby should send me magical Maple Candy to make me addicted like everyone else (has anyone on this thread NOT asked you to send them candy?)
I think I've had 200 calories today. That's probably bad, isn't it?
eta: How many pills can I take before I accidentally overdose? Trazodone and Klonopin are the ones I'm workin' with here. Don't wanna die. Well, I do, but I won't. Just want to sleep for the next 24 hours or so.
Meow. Don't die. It would make us all really sad... but I know the feeling. I wanna sleep my life away sometimes. :(
I will read more of TRT in the morning. I just got home from work and I left my damn shoes at the club like a retard. I am having a shitty week. :'(
krchab99
03-23-2008, 01:51 AM
i am awake i am tierd baby is still awake my nipples are raw. I have been on sw almost all day today not sure why oh well i love this place we all need to take a day just hang here sometimes wow the random thread is theraputic. I shall start posting here more often its nice to say something dumb get it out of your head and watch it diesaper into the black hole that is this thread. :)
britt244
03-23-2008, 01:51 AM
i drank quite abit of 100 proof alcohol, took a lot of xanax, and tried to blow in my car. also got in a screaming fight with the bitch who pissezs me fof with my ex and then he yelled and her friend yelled and i yelled and managers and owners yelled and then another girl hit the btich in her face. hahahahahahhahahaahha serves you right whore. FAT whore. i packed up my trunk and put it in my car and got 3 freaking violations on my brealthylzer. dont now what will happen. whooops.
owner asked me not to quit. we will see. i have no car. parents would going to have t otake me. im supposed ot be therea t230 otomorrow. but then arew going to have totake me to my car and see hte club and be even more wierried now. great. fridn brought me home. ex friend reall t that we are kmean to but it was awkward but she was nice. one friend said too tired to drive me she is not my best friend anmore. only me onre friend ashley is really a true best friend.
Mikey35
03-23-2008, 01:51 AM
It's the quiet times that are the hardest. Late at night, the house is still, nothing moving, not even noise from the street outside. A loud deafening silence fills the air. Nothing but my own thoughts spinning inside, keeping me awake. Doubts and unanswered questions creep through my head like thieves. Busily moving from room to room in my mind robbing me of my sanity and leaving behind the reality of questions that can never be answered. I miss the peaceful nights. Perhaps one day they will return, but not tonight.
britt244
03-23-2008, 01:54 AM
i think bye bye bye bye bye sw. goodbyeeeeeeeee. hate life right now. too bad my xanax does is so loew i couldnt take nough to die.
britt244
03-23-2008, 01:55 AM
i think bye bye bye bye bye sw. goodbyeeeeeeeee. hate life right now. too bad my xanax does is so loew i couldnt take nough to die. cant deal with new club fgoing to. old club said ican come anck dont want to. want life to be easy at my currnet club i loved it best. ive bene theres ince kuly and htas long for meeeeee
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 01:58 AM
britt-- you're a dork. clean up so you can have a fabulous life that a sexy self like you deserves.
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 02:11 AM
WTF I need to learn MORE languages to be a Jew! *shakes fist*
Putz
RoseLeigh
03-23-2008, 02:24 AM
i think bye bye bye bye bye sw. goodbyeeeeeeeee. hate life right now. too bad my xanax does is so loew i couldnt take nough to die. cant deal with new club fgoing to. old club said ican come anck dont want to. want life to be easy at my currnet club i loved it best. ive bene theres ince kuly and htas long for meeeeee
Britt I don't know what to say, except stop. You can leave SW if you really want to, but you need to get out of this self destructive spiral. That guy is bad for you. Xanax plus alcohol is bad for you. Dying is especially bad for you. I really hope you wake up okay.
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 02:25 AM
I'm so lonely. I just want a nice man to take me out to dinner and then hold me in the park and tell me I'm pretty...
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 02:58 AM
^ repeat in front of rabbi and I'm sure you'll have that happen tomorrow night :D
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 03:03 AM
^ repeat in front of rabbi and I'm sure you'll have that happen tomorrow night :D
Males are not allowed to touch women they aren't related/married to in Orthodox Judaism. I'm sure he'd take me out to dinner or someone would, but they sure as hell wouldn't hold me. :(
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 03:06 AM
yeah but I'm sure he'd tell you you're pretty. and maybe if you were lucky and he was feeling particularly smitten he'd hold your hand.
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 03:08 AM
ugh. bedtime.
austinatalie
03-23-2008, 03:20 AM
oh noes britt!
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 03:26 AM
It worries me that there is a brand of Scratch-n-Sniff panties from a company called Stankpuss.
X Evan X
03-23-2008, 03:36 AM
the crust on my Scratch-n-Sniff panties should be called Stankpuss.
You are pretty
-E
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 03:36 AM
......right.
X Evan X
03-23-2008, 03:39 AM
:-*
:p
-e
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 03:40 AM
^see? he's so funny I bet HE could come up with some good dead rabbi jokes
X Evan X
03-23-2008, 03:42 AM
Whew rough crowd
Sorry Lys thought you might have been in a more light-hearted mood
My bad
-E
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 03:44 AM
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.
The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned.
I committed adultery."
Priest says: "How many times?"
Woman: "Three times."
Priest says, "Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more."
A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest says, "What did you do?"
Man says, "I committed adultery."
Priest asks, "How many times?"
Man replies, "Three times."
Priest says, "Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more."
The Rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says,
"Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Rabbi says, "What did you do?"
Woman replies, "I committed adultery."
Rabbi asks, "How many times?"
Woman says "Once."
Rabbi says, "Go do it two more times, we have a special this week, three for $5.00."
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 03:46 AM
Q: What's the name of facial lotion made for Jewish women?
A: Oil of Oy Vay.
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 03:48 AM
A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber, and asks how much he owes him. The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house." The priest says, "Thank you very much" and leaves. The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins.
A few days later, a minister goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, "No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the cloth. It's on the house." The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 rubies.
The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says, "No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can't take any money from you, go in peace." And the next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 rabbis.
austinatalie
03-23-2008, 03:57 AM
^^LOL! so true.
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 04:07 AM
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains
to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of
God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read
to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.
So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 04:09 AM
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains
to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of
God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read
to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.
So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
aussiebelle
03-23-2008, 04:12 AM
haha I like these religious jokes Lys!
It makes me think of that film, 'Keeping The Faith' :)
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 04:40 AM
I'm actually so lonely I'm buying wrapped surprise presents for myself online so I can get gifts that I don't know what's in. Oh yeah.
murdock
03-23-2008, 04:53 AM
I'm actually so lonely I'm buying wrapped surprise presents for myself online so I can get gifts that I don't know what's in. Oh yeah.
Awwwww :(
The Secret Bunny thing not enough for you?
I could send you a crappy home made gift if you wanted, but I have no money for anything good.
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 04:55 AM
The Secret Bunny means a lot to me, really.
I just like... I dunno... want more in the mail? Six months now the only things I've gotten were work related or bills. Nobody sends me anything. :(
So I'm buying myself presents.
I love handmade things <3.
murdock
03-23-2008, 05:04 AM
There is something very special about getting presents in the mail.
I would've liked to do the Secret Bunny thing but alas was too much of a n00b.
Making things is good times, so if you want presents...
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 05:12 AM
I WILL TRADE! :D I like seeing people GET things just as much.
I'll make a deal with you - we have to send eachother HANDMADE things! It can be anything - a painting, a print, a set of artistic photos, knitwear, crotcheted, papergoods...
DEAL?! :D
murdock
03-23-2008, 05:19 AM
I WILL TRADE! :D I like seeing people GET things just as much.
I'll make a deal with you - we have to send eachother HANDMADE things! It can be anything - a painting, a print, a set of artistic photos, knitwear, crotcheted, papergoods...
DEAL?! :D
DEAL!!!!
Now I'm excited.
I probably shouldn't embark on a craft project at 1:30am, though, should I? The boy gets a bit upset whenever he wakes up to me throwing boxes around the spare room, looking for craft supplies in the middle of the night...
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 05:22 AM
LOL... I was just about to check to see if I still had my Venice lace...
stellaforstars
03-23-2008, 06:46 AM
I'm okay. Sorry I scared y'all.
I'll try not to do it again.
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 07:07 AM
WOOWOOWOOOO I just turned my spare room into a craft room :D
stellaforstars
03-23-2008, 07:11 AM
I just like... I dunno... want more in the mail? Six months now the only things I've gotten were work related or bills. Nobody sends me anything. :(
Nevermind those expensive boots.
...And you didn't even have to trade your soul for them. I think a lot of girls would kill to be in your shoes right now. (No pun intended--well, maybe a little...)
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 07:32 AM
Oh don't think I forgot the boots at all! I wear them every day. Ah man, I sounded so ungrateful, didn't I?
Okay, other than that I've really only gotten bills and things I ordered off etsy or shoe sites for work.
I don't know why anybody would want to be in my shoes though. Yes, TOO sent me a lovely present - but I am terribly lonely, never go out other than work, have very few friends, and pretty much cry every night.
I really shouldn't have stopped taking the Lexxapro...
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 07:36 AM
Remember: my own agent I pay and work for wouldn't even send me something for Valentines day and got off this site the day before. So that... kinda blow to the ego.
It's like the shoes were a 'sorry nobody likes you' present even though I KNOW TOO didn't mean it that way. Plus he bought all the girls something from their wishlist that was directed to him, so I wasn't singled out.
hockeybobby
03-23-2008, 07:51 AM
Sunday morning hockey with my buddies. it doesn't get much better than thiis.