View Full Version : The Random Thread
britt244
03-23-2008, 06:10 PM
stella, i hope that didnt make you mad. i was just trying to help.
i think rock of love will be good tonight. then maybe i'll lay around watching my so called life on dvd. i dunno. i just want to.. not move. i want a boy so so bad to cuddle me and make me feel better. the ex is DEFINATELY off limits after last night.
yeah. my mom got me another new purse. i didnt need one but haha i can never have too many purses.
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 06:12 PM
britt are you doing any meds to make drinking and drugs really uncomfortable?
Lady Jade
03-23-2008, 06:13 PM
I have like 7 lbs of ham left. Does anyone want to come take it off my hands? I have nowhere to put it!
TheTempest
03-23-2008, 06:14 PM
britt are you doing any meds to make drinking and drugs really uncomfortable?
http://health.msn.com/health-topics/addiction/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100197949>1=31033
I've heard absolute horror stories about Chantix, and it tends to give patients horrific nightmares.
BrunetteGoddess
03-23-2008, 06:16 PM
Stella, I love you. Don't forget that.
britt244
03-23-2008, 06:17 PM
britt are you doing any meds to make drinking and drugs really uncomfortable?
http://health.msn.com/health-topics/addiction/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100197949>1=31033
i wont do that. i need to conquer that one on my own. i wont take a daily drug for my anxiety, im not going to take one for addiction purposes. drugs are a last resort for me personally.
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 06:21 PM
^well, then it's cool that you haven't reached that point and that there's still something else to try possibly. -shrug-
I know it might seem like a cop-out to essentially get addicted to something else, but it sounds like for some, there really is no other option.
and tempest-- as far as chantix...I think they wrote about that part on the second page, about a certain drug no being good for some people because of psychological background, but that it still worked fine for a lot of people without the side effects.
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 06:24 PM
I'm really fucking angry. M wants to be in a relationship but doesn't even have the consideration to tell me that he left the house when I wake up and find nobody here and nothing done? No note. No text. No nothing. So I spent an hour calling around the house, texting him..nothing.
He said he didn't know he had to tell me he left the house because he 'only went to his mother's'. Bitch, I don't care where you went, I fucking didn't know you'd LEFT and you could've left a note so I didn't freak out because you weren't home on a holiday in the morning.
I searched the whole goddamn place.
My supposedly wonderful mother, whom I thought was my best friend has been absolutely terrible to me this weekend. She snaps at me, makes underhanded comments about what a horrible holiday it is because of "obvious circumstances," does everything in her power to avoid being in the same room as me, etc. She's made me cry more times than I can count. So I've spent the weekend drugged up so I could simply sleep and not be a bother to anyone and she's angry about that as well. It's not like I've been storming around being hateful and yelling and screaming. I've been SAD. That's it. Just quiet and SAD.
It sounds like she's worried and stressed. My mother treated me the same way when I was living in the house. I was drugged up most of the time and spent many nights at my club getting liquored up as well because of it. I decided to pick up a second job so that I could be away from the house more and also be around different people. After a while, my mother eased up and told me she was just having a hard time "seeing me the way I was... in bed and loaded everyday." Sounds like you both just need some space.
britt244
03-23-2008, 06:28 PM
^well, then it's cool that you haven't reached that point and that there's still something else to try possibly. -shrug-
I know it might seem like a cop-out to essentially get addicted to something else, but it sounds like for some, there really is no other option.
and tempest-- as far as chantix...I think they wrote about that part on the second page, about a certain drug no being good for some people because of psychological background, but that it still worked fine for a lot of people without the side effects.
i dont think theyre a cop out. not at all. and for some people, thats fine. but my personal belief is that for me, personally, i do not want to be on any kind of daily drug. and when it comes to addiction, i do think thats something you need to do on your own. and i do a damn good job. i rarely drink anymore, and i used to be three sheets to the wind on a daily basis.
britt244
03-23-2008, 06:28 PM
i want pizza. i just had a big easter dinner at my aunts but i want pizza. that may be the ONLY thing that will make me feel like its worth it to move.
but then i'll just feel fat. delivery probably isnt open anyway.
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 06:30 PM
and i do a damn good job. i rarely drink anymore, and i used to be three sheets to the wind on a daily basis.
see? so you can stop feeling bad now and get back to your regularly scheduled sobriety.
britt244
03-23-2008, 06:31 PM
see? so you can stop feeling bad now and get back to your regularly scheduled sobriety.
its not that easy, though. i still had one of my infamous drunken flip out nights. just because it hasnt happened in a long time doesnt make it ok. you know? it still sucks. even more so, because when it happened daily i didnt give a fuck.
BrunetteGoddess
03-23-2008, 06:35 PM
Ugh. Constipated. I want to die.
AudreyLeigh
03-23-2008, 06:36 PM
I finally made it in to dance. It was soooo slow. BUT I ended up as the 2nd top earner (making 1/2 of what I typically make) if thats anything to show for how dead it was. I had fun. :) Definately going back next weekend! Met someone from SW too - hes very sweet but I wont out who it is - Ill let them do it if they want. I am soooo sore and tired. I forgot how hard this job is on your body and this is just from dancing because I didnt go on stage.
On another note - and this is great news to ME. I said screw the braces. In 3 weeks Im getting 6 veneers for my top teeth along with my crowns Im going to have a perfect (that you can see) smile. Ill deal with the bottom teeth 2nd but at least my smile will be great. Super excited!
Lysondra
03-23-2008, 06:44 PM
:/ Maybe I'm being a bit controlling but you kinda just don't leave the house with the place a fucking mess on a holiday and leave no indication you left, right? So that nobody thinks something happened?
SundayMorning
03-23-2008, 06:45 PM
Stella given just a hint of encouragement, I'd be up there and carting your booty back to live in our house. I could feed (ha I typed "feel" first) you nummies and cover you in bubbles all day. But I know your mom is just frustrated and scared right now, and she's not expressing that very well. When she calms down, I know she will be back in Comfort Blankie mode. You're not alone, hun.
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 06:46 PM
argh-- I had this really great post about probability and it got erased.
essentially, you haven't honed the fine art of probability.
you used to be fucked up 100% of the time and now you're fucked up less than 1% of the time-- your parents had the potential to feel bad 100% of the time and now they probably only have the potential to feel bad less than 1% of the time.
your parents' pride is still there-- if you hadn't fucked up, their pride wouldn't be as strong because you'd be making it look too easy. they can feel more proud of you now because it's obvious how hard it is.
and as far as the probability of this happening again, that has also sharply decreased from what your probability was of it happening before you screwed up.
screwing up gets your attention.
and you didn't kill or harm yourself or others, which would have been likely if you didn't have the breather.
what counts is how you handle the screw ups. you've already made a good start by apologizing to the bosses. I assume you've apologized to the parents as well. If not, do so instead of agonizing about letting them down.
in the end, make your parents dinner, get your mom flowers, and take your dad to a movie. You'll find that their emotional state isn't as fragile as you think it is.
krchab99
03-23-2008, 06:47 PM
i still suck i am very bord and filled out the eharmy ap for fun agine to found out i suck there is on one on earth that would love me. Thanks for the ego booste eharmony lol oh well
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 06:48 PM
I finally made it in to dance. It was soooo slow. BUT I ended up as the 2nd top earner (making 1/2 of what I typically make) if thats anything to show for how dead it was. I had fun. :) Definately going back next weekend! Met someone from SW too - hes very sweet but I wont out who it is - Ill let them do it if they want. I am soooo sore and tired. I forgot how hard this job is on your body and this is just from dancing because I didnt go on stage.
On another note - and this is great news to ME. I said screw the braces. In 3 weeks Im getting 6 veneers for my top teeth along with my crowns Im going to have a perfect (that you can see) smile. Ill deal with the bottom teeth 2nd but at least my smile will be great. Super excited!
just double research it. is it easier, yes. but with braces you don't have a chance later on of a big part of your tooth falling off and trying to get an emergency appointment that probably won't happen until days later.
I had a gf who had her front veneer fall off. she couldn't get an appt. so they basically said to wait and she had to work-- not much smiling going on.
britt244
03-23-2008, 06:49 PM
^ im lucky, i know that. i'm really lucky to work for the people i do (minus the evil ex). last night when i left the owner was like look, now that youre calm, youre back to being the sweet girl we love. and he said he would never fire me, haha. and my best friend is really a good friend.. better than a lot ive had in the past. and my parents.. i dont even need to list why theyre great again.
but like always, im never happy. because im screwed up.
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 06:50 PM
Ugh. Constipated. I want to die.
if you have epsom salt you can take two tablespoons in water and chug it quickly (tastes nastieth)
then drink more water and maybe another tablespoon.
that'll clear you out.
or you can take 8+ grams of vitamin C with water.
BrunetteGoddess
03-23-2008, 06:54 PM
I'm taking stuff already. Just waiting for it to kick in.
I don't want to take too much VitC because if I do I will be shitting so much my butt will burn.
stellaforstars
03-23-2008, 06:55 PM
Britt, you're completely right and I understand that. I love you for caring about me enough to be honest with me.
The problem is that my brother's living with her (he's five times more mentally ill then I'll ever be--paranoid schizophrenic), and my elderly, senile grandmother just moved in as well. And now I've been instructed to live here for a couple of months. That's 4 people in a small 3 bedroom apartment...And 3 people that she feels completely responsible for. Even the strongest person would have a hard time with that...I can't believe how well she handles it and if anyone deserves an off-week, it's most certainly her.
ETA: There's really no reason to read beyond this point. It's just pointless bitching and I don't want to purposefully bring anyone down, but I needed to get it out, so I'm leaving it.
I just feel like such a burden. And my father's side of the family is pretending like nothing has happened and essentially ignoring me (unless I get upset and point that out, in which case I'm unreasonable because I'm "crazy.") Richard's refusing to see me for a while because he feels it's healthier that way. All of my friends here only superficially care about me--not to the point where they're actually HERE.
I don't blame anyone but myself. I'm a burden to everyone who cares about me.
Lately I've felt like I desperately want to run away. Take the credit card I have that isn't maxed out, buy a Greyhound ticket as far as I can get and just start over. I've destroyed my chances of going back to school anytime soon. I can't find a job. I've alienated myself from everyone that loves me. I can't even drag myself back to stripping because I have no way of getting to Dallas several times a week.
I'm just at a standstill.
Brendita
03-23-2008, 06:56 PM
My Knee Fucking Hurts.
Callyish
03-23-2008, 07:18 PM
I just have to say.... I am so damn happy. My life is fucking PERFECT right now!!
Plus I just had the greatest sex i've ever had in my life about two hours ago :biggrin:
cherryripeboy
03-23-2008, 07:22 PM
The weekend is over, thus my week begins after I sleep. It was a difficult and stressful day at best... at least I figured out the spikes on my lemon trees...
I must figure out my lack of energy, enthusiasm, strength.... etc I usually call it my apathy, but it is getting too great now. I do what I need and no more....
I will try and take up journaling again... I hate it but it can work. I need a release. All other paths require resources I do not have.
AudreyLeigh
03-23-2008, 07:35 PM
just double research it. is it easier, yes. but with braces you don't have a chance later on of a big part of your tooth falling off and trying to get an emergency appointment that probably won't happen until days later.
I had a gf who had her front veneer fall off. she couldn't get an appt. so they basically said to wait and she had to work-- not much smiling going on.
True but Ive had 7 molars removed. With braces I cannot get the implants until theyre done moving into place (2 years) which means I will be missing back teeth for 2 years! I just want to be done with this whole dental venture. Its more than just cosmetic. Im so over going to the dentist every week....
Katrine
03-23-2008, 07:55 PM
I really, really, really, really dislike being an adult. Why can't I just quit my job, dance a few months, and do something else, meanwhile spending a bunch of time on the lake with my rad boyfriend?
Oh yeah, because I already spent the last 10 years of my life doing that. :( I miss it!
fancygirl
03-23-2008, 08:19 PM
True but Ive had 7 molars removed. With braces I cannot get the implants until theyre done moving into place (2 years) which means I will be missing back teeth for 2 years! I just want to be done with this whole dental venture. Its more than just cosmetic. Im so over going to the dentist every week....
makes sense to me. just make sure you have a cosmetic dentist who will see you the second a veneer falls off (if that happens)
MsQwerty
03-23-2008, 08:30 PM
I'm actually so lonely I'm buying wrapped surprise presents for myself online so I can get gifts that I don't know what's in. Oh yeah.
If youre ever so bored and lonely you know you can always come hang with me at work. Not the most exciting thing in the world admittedly, but I like company - especially early in the shift :)
gingerlee
03-23-2008, 08:33 PM
Yep. Still awake. I took all my sleeping pills and everything else that's supposed to help me sleep and it hasn't done shit. Fucking hell.
cameron_keys
03-23-2008, 08:38 PM
Yep. Still awake. I took all my sleeping pills and everything else that's supposed to help me sleep and it hasn't done shit. Fucking hell.
GOD I hate that....so frustrating. It's like..why the hell am I putting these damn chemicals in my body if they arent doing what they are supposed to do????
You need some good sexin' Too bad you arent here..}:D...I have ice cream...could make it interesting. We could wear each other out
Mikey35
03-23-2008, 08:38 PM
Wow, this thread is kinda depressing tonight. Who put up the 'You must be this depressed to post here' sign? Feel better everyone :)
Blade
03-23-2008, 08:39 PM
I passed my cdl a test today, I can drive big rigs now muahahahahahaha!
stellaforstars
03-23-2008, 08:47 PM
Ahhhhh, my favorite part of the night--the moment I get to down two sleeping pills.
Sweet relief.
I hope my doc will just up my dosage next time though, rather than telling me "just double up." Doesn't he realize I run out faster that way?
RoseWhite
03-23-2008, 08:49 PM
I passed my cdl a test today, I can drive big rigs now muahahahahahaha!
CONGRATULATIONS! I send you a symbolic Stadium Pal (http://www.stadiumpal.com/) for those long, long drives. ;D
gingerlee
03-23-2008, 08:49 PM
GOD I hate that....so frustrating. It's like..why the hell am I putting these damn chemicals in my body if they arent doing what they are supposed to do????
You need some good sexin' Too bad you arent here..}:D...I have ice cream...could make it interesting. We could wear each other out
I know! Why the hell am I taking this shit (well the ones I have been given just for sleep, I'll admit I need the others for other shit) if it isn't going to do anything? It's lame on a grand scale.
And I'll be in S. FL in April. Can I just bring some ice cream then? ;D
cameron_keys
03-23-2008, 08:51 PM
I know! Why the hell am I taking this shit (well the ones I have been given just for sleep, I'll admit I need the others for other shit) if it isn't going to do anything? It's lame on a grand scale.
And I'll be in S. FL in April. Can I just bring some ice cream then? ;D
When in April? If I'm in town I'm totally up for a Ginger sundae! But you never go out with me when you are here....:'(
MsQwerty
03-23-2008, 08:54 PM
I passed my cdl a test today, I can drive big rigs now muahahahahahaha!
Hurray! Well done!!! :)
MsQwerty
03-23-2008, 08:58 PM
I danced for 7 totally separate unconnected guys in a row last night who were all called Rob or Robert. Then I met two guys whos names began wth the letter B and then several more Rob/erts /:O
Lady Jade
03-23-2008, 09:00 PM
I so don't want to go to work tomorrow. I hate coming back from long weekends. :(
gingerlee
03-23-2008, 09:00 PM
When in April? If I'm in town I'm totally up for a Ginger sundae! But you never go out with me when you are here....:'(
*Runs to check her calender*
I'm there the week of April 28, Tootsies again. If you're not in LA or somewhere else I could be open to a Ginger sundae. As long as you promise that there will be chocolate I'll move some stuff around to get to you before I have to go to work for my happy hour show. :-*
Lunarobverse
03-23-2008, 09:01 PM
I don't think I've ever slept as much as I have this weekend. I can't even count the hours.
I just want to be well. Sick of being sick.
hockeybobby
03-23-2008, 09:07 PM
Like a baby stillborn, Like a beast with his horn...
I have torn everyone that reached out to me.
But I swear by this song, and by all that I have done wrong...
I'll make it all up to you.
---Leonard Cohen
Callyish
03-23-2008, 09:08 PM
I don't wanna go to Thompson in the morning :(
I have to pack still.... but bright side I just ordered me some foodage... yes pizza... lol.... It was the only thing delivering tonight though!
gingerlee
03-23-2008, 09:11 PM
^^^Mmmmm, pizza sounds so good right now.
Lady Jade
03-23-2008, 09:13 PM
I want to go to bed, but boy is snoring soundly on the couch. I want to snuggle, dammit!!
hockeybobby
03-23-2008, 09:17 PM
Sung to the tune of "The Entertainer"....Billy Joel.
I am the hockeybobby, :sing:
And I've had to pay my price.
The things I did not know at first,
I learned by doin' twice.
Ah, but still they come to haunt me,
Still they want their say.
So I've learned to dance
With a hand in my pants,
And they rub my neck,
And I write 'em a check,
And they go their merry way.
:drum: :tube:
Heard on the radio as I sat in crap traffic coming back from a visit with my family. I love my family.
cameron_keys
03-23-2008, 09:19 PM
*Runs to check her calender*
I'm there the week of April 28, Tootsies again. If you're not in LA or somewhere else I could be open to a Ginger sundae. As long as you promise that there will be chocolate I'll move some stuff around to get to you before I have to go to work for my happy hour show. :-*
YES!! I"ll be home by then!! I ORDER you to go out and have fun with me...even if its just taco bell and ice cream at my house watching Mean Girls!!!
ORDERED!!!
Actually if you dont want to be stuck in that creepy room with them watching you you are welcome to stay here in my guest room. I'm about 20 minutes from Tootsies and I have kitties and birdies to play with