View Full Version : The Random Thread
MrChristopher
04-20-2007, 12:16 AM
So. Randomly. I know I have said this before. But.
HI YOU, ASSBAG, WITH YOUR BRIGHTS ON. TURN THEM OFF. COMMON COURTESY DOES NOT SOMEHOW END AT 2 AM, FUCKJACK. YES. YOU. EAT A BUCKET OF DICKS.
Also, fat toothless pigs shouldn't even try to sit in the corner of the club, talk shit, not tip and act superior. WTF? Get over yourself, sweets. Really. Go home. Thanks.
But hey, other then that it was a great night. These pita chips from Trader Joe's are so delicious, they put Mast's grundle to shame. TRUST!
BalletBaby
04-20-2007, 08:23 PM
HI YOU, ASSBAG, WITH YOUR BRIGHTS ON. TURN THEM OFF. COMMON COURTESY DOES NOT SOMEHOW END AT 2 AM, FUCKJACK. YES. YOU. EAT A BUCKET OF DICKS.
MrChristopher, thank you so much for saying that. Especially when there are two other open lanes and some douche is riding my ass. Yeah, I could give two fucks if my car sucks, get your Honda fucking Civic off my ass. And you, yeah you in the new bmw, learn to fucking drive.
I HOPE YOU CRASH YOUR CAR AND YOUR INSURANCE RATES SKYROCKET!!!!
Wow, I feel better:)
gingerlee
04-20-2007, 08:33 PM
I don't need 'help' pumping gas. I've been doing it since I was 16, dude, I think I've got it covered.
I'm a paranoid chick, if you are in my house, don't creep down the stairs in the dark and come up behind me when I'm in the kitchen. I will probably swing on you out of reflex, and I'll feel bad if I beat the hell out of you.
My bird eats peanut butter off of a spoon, holding like a human. I guess he doesn't need thumbs to do it.
AlexxaHex
04-20-2007, 08:42 PM
Nothing raises my blood pressure and tension like driving in Southern California. I would almost rather drive in Manhattan. At least New Yorkers know HOW to drive. I have the worst road rage ever. I would be so much happier if I had a chauffeur, but then I'd probably just yell at him.
There is ground up peach pit in my Jamba Juice, but I am too lazy to go back and complain. Normally I would, but it's cold and rainy and I would rather just take a nap.
My cats are curled up in a yin-yang position together. It is the cutest thing in the whole world. Unfortunately, I know that if I took a picture, they would surely sense it and wake up.
I NEED more scented candles. Everything smells funny except floral things. Michael's has these tulip scented ones in the jar for like $5 and they last forever.
I have so much fucking work to do. StripperWeb is a black hole.
MojoJojo
04-20-2007, 08:45 PM
Hey - just to let everyone know....when you drive with a cell phone attached to your head? You actually do NOT drive better than everyone else, and in fact you go TOOOOOO SLOW and you SPLIIIIIIIIIT LAAAAAAAANES so FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOURSELF!
BrunetteGoddess
04-20-2007, 08:45 PM
*sluuuurrrp* goes the SW Black Hole
;)
And the cell phone drivers- argh! Yesterday I was behind this chick on her cell phone in the turn lane. Green arrow comes on, she sits there. For fucking 10 seconds. I honk at her and she finally moves. I pass her by and she didn't even look like she cared!
MojoJojo
04-20-2007, 08:50 PM
The best I ever saw was a gal driving putting on makeup while on the cell phone...and driving. Not well, mind you, but still.....that's talent.
.......................so I ran her off the road.
gingerlee
04-20-2007, 08:50 PM
Taking my medicine at night is a pain in the ass. Sometimes I wonder if there will ever be a better way for me to take them. Then I remember that I could get them in shot form, but I'm afraid of needles. Pills or needles? I'll take the pills, it's the lesser of two evils.
*Gulps more water and chokes down pills*
madmaxine
04-20-2007, 08:53 PM
I have viral flu. It stinks. I wish I got a flu shot but I was too cheap to do it. Dammit.
AvaAdore
04-20-2007, 09:01 PM
My ass hurts and there are bruises on my knees....:'(.....it's a sad day when these are occupational hazards and you're not even a hooker
I'm procrastinating my math final
My children got me kicked out of Victoria's Secret for 'molesting' a mannequin...they are three year old boys who are curious(??)
"Mom, mom!! I like this lady a lot!" *While rubbing both her legs* " I like her mom, and she has on her underwear. I talk to her, mom, but she won't say anything back..." *Slight look of dissapointment*
This of course came on the same day as "Mom, I drew you a picture! It's YOU! Look mom, It's you in the shower!!" :O
"That's beautiful sweetheart. Whatever you do, don't draw that at your daddy's house, okay?"
hardkandee
04-20-2007, 09:06 PM
My mommy was almost mugged/car jacked tonight! The guy even hit her on the head but all her screaming and honking the horn scared him away. Poor mom. I'm so glad she's ok. :-\
mollyzmoon
04-20-2007, 09:21 PM
my back hurts so much it's all i can think of...
I'm worried about my horse. I watched him dig a hole in his stall yesterday and eat a mouthful of clay. I thought he was looking for grass, but no, dirt. That's pica and i think it means they're not feeding him right. I made them give him a new salt lick (they 'forgot' he didn't have one). Why do I pay an arm and a leg for this shit? Poor horsey. I've also caught them forgetting to water him...once to the point he was so thirsty he stopped eating his hay, and drank a whole bucket when I watered him. It's so hard to find good care.
ow, back...boo exams. I want to smoke pot to go to sleep and stop the pain, but I wonder if pot smoking right now would make the studying go even more poorly.
MojoJojo
04-20-2007, 09:22 PM
I just rolled a die. It came up a 2. That's pretty darned random.
TigersMilk
04-20-2007, 09:39 PM
They randomly turned on the gas heater for the rest of my place but randomly forgot to turn on the gas for the hot water heater outside for my bathroom and kitchen. Thanks, now I can stink in my warm house. Thank god they are coming out tonight to give me hot water.
and Im randomly in chat till they get here.... ;D
Jenny
04-20-2007, 09:42 PM
I fell asleep last night, planning to get the requisite 4 hours before my exam; 1 hour in I somehow pulled my bed side lamp on top of me, hitting myself really hard in the head. This set of a chain reaction where I screamed and jerked up in bed (you try being woken up with a strike to the head) and kicked my dog onto the floor, where she yelped, tucked her tail between her legs and rolled under the bed. That led to me crouching next the bed, holding my head, for 20 minutes trying to coax the little retard back out from her hiding place.
The dog is fine. My head still hurts.
BalletBaby
04-21-2007, 01:31 AM
The best I ever saw was a gal driving putting on makeup while on the cell phone...and driving. Not well, mind you, but still.....that's talent.
.......................so I ran her off the road.
Well I didn't actually see this, but my sister saw a person driving once while............................................. ......doing a crossword puzzle.
Um, yah, hurray for texas drivers!::)
AlexxaHex
04-21-2007, 02:15 AM
My mommy was almost mugged/car jacked tonight! The guy even hit her on the head but all her screaming and honking the horn scared him away. Poor mom. I'm so glad she's ok. :-\
OMG that's awful! :O
cherryripeboy
04-21-2007, 08:12 AM
A random series of clips, I kind of like the first group though....
http://vids.craveonline.com/videos/videos/00004309/unusual_japenese_music.html
hardkandee
04-21-2007, 09:09 AM
OMG that's awful! :O
I know. She called me after it happened and told me she was attacked. But she was so calm about it, I almost didn't believe her. Of course this has to happen when my little brother is moving out and she's got an empty nest now.
mollyzmoon
04-21-2007, 03:21 PM
^^HK, I hope your mom is alright. What a horrible thing to happen.
...and I am here way too much when I booked off time from everything to STUDY
cherry_sin
04-21-2007, 03:23 PM
Give well wishes to your mom!
hardkandee
04-21-2007, 03:36 PM
She's ok. She agreed to press charges if they ever catch the guy. Thanks for the support gals!
She's all excited and wants to go to the police supply store and load up on mace and tasers now. My mom's cute. ;)
cherryripeboy
04-21-2007, 07:35 PM
^^Get her some self defense classes as well. Then she can kick but, and she has to have boots!! Glad she got out ok.
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 07:40 PM
Today....I mowed the lawn.
cameron_keys
04-21-2007, 07:42 PM
It irritates me that celebs do commercials for at-home hair color. I mean...is there anyone out there that thinks Sarah Jessica Parker sits at home coloring her hair with a $8.99 box of Garnier???
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 07:44 PM
I hate that Sarah Jessica Parker even has a career.
TheSexKitten
04-21-2007, 07:48 PM
^ He Speaks The Truth
BrunetteGoddess
04-21-2007, 07:54 PM
I'm so bored. Sitting here, alone in my parents house, keeping it clean for open houses while they're gone.
Jenny
04-21-2007, 08:04 PM
I hate that Sarah Jessica Parker even has a career.I can't even fucking believe that you didn't love footloose.
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 08:11 PM
I can't even fucking believe that you didn't love footloose.
I didn't just not love Footloose - I thought it was stupid pop dribble. And it has several of what are now my favorite actors.
BrunetteGoddess
04-21-2007, 08:27 PM
SJP is horrible, and looks like a man. She is not aging well, and I don't see what all the hype is about with her.
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 08:31 PM
SJP is horrible, and looks like a man. She is not aging well, and I don't see what all the hype is about with her.
YES YES YES - I've said that for a long time. She has DUDE FACE!
TheSexKitten
04-21-2007, 08:42 PM
She looks like a transvestite storybook witch.
Nose and all x.x
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 08:46 PM
Okay, this isn't random any more, folks. This is specific. Time to get back on track.
I wish I had a tasty gyro and some hummous.
BrunetteGoddess
04-21-2007, 08:48 PM
LOL, at first I read that as "I need a tasty GYNO"
:rotfl:
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 08:59 PM
LOL, at first I read that as "I need a tasty GYNO"
:rotfl:
I try not to speculumate about such things.
..........okay, that was weak
hardkandee
04-21-2007, 09:23 PM
I wish I had a tasty gyro and some hummous.
I've got tasty hummus! I didn't know that monkeys ate hummus...
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 09:29 PM
I've got tasty hummus! I didn't know that monkeys ate hummus...
I'm no average monkey.
BrunetteGoddess
04-21-2007, 09:29 PM
"Hummus" makes me think huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............. oooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm
hardkandee
04-21-2007, 09:35 PM
I'm no average monkey.
You know that I know that. ;)
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 09:39 PM
You know that I know that. ;)
I would NEVER throw poo at you...
hardkandee
04-21-2007, 09:43 PM
Poo slinging is a sport in some parts of the world. Why? I don't know.
I'm about to spend $300 for makeup on Urban Decay, and honestly? I don't think I'm buying enough. :O
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 09:46 PM
Wow - and the award for the Random Thread goes to ... HARDKANDEEEEEE
"poo slinging...sport....makeup....urban decay"
<blink>
hardkandee
04-21-2007, 09:51 PM
And I'm not in any kind of altered state. Just mildly bored because the UFC fights on tonight aren't so exciting.
If I were in the UFC I'd just talk dirty to my opponent. I'm pretty sure I could use my seductive skills to get those boys to tapout.
MojoJojo
04-21-2007, 09:58 PM
And I'm not in any kind of altered state. Just mildly bored because the UFC fights on tonight aren't so exciting.
If I were in the UFC I'd just talk dirty to my opponent. I'm pretty sure I could use my seductive skills to get those boys to tapout.
Gee, I dunno. Wanna test that theory? I'm willing to try.
..........................I'm a giver.
LilyLove
04-21-2007, 11:08 PM
^^^ Yeah ummm... "let me slip into something more comfortable"
Sarah Jessica Parker, we know that honey color was not that simple.
Why do I only seem to get cats that have the worst breath. Seriously , and i've owned a few. so bad sooo very bad.
LilyLove
04-22-2007, 12:35 AM
ummm weirdly my mother loves cat breath. She says its as sweet and innocent as a newborn baby's breath. Yeah, moms are so weird.
X Evan X
04-22-2007, 02:05 AM
Puppy breath is awesome
-E
I wonder if Sarah J parkers perfume smells like her career
stale