View Full Version : Im Stupid Stupid Stupid
Mr Hyde
04-03-2007, 10:58 PM
And is he going to give me back my 2 years i could have been married to my real man that I could have bought a house by now but didnt because I couldnt apply for a loan with him because i was married to somone else?
Is he going to take away the stress i went through before both interviews and the anxiety i went through in between when i concidered backing out but didnt for the sheer fact that I cared enough to tough it out because thats what I agreed to do?
No and he plans to sell the car and has said before that If anything happened my name was on it and to take it.
Im sure we will be speaking again soon as we try to wrap things up as i have spoke to him a few times today to see if he was handling the let down ok
Im not the heartless bitch everyone is making me out to be
You didn't lose anything except a little inconvenience. If you were so desperate to get married two years ago, you wouldn't have done this. Are you planning on getting married immediately? Time's a wastin, after all.
Hey, if you feel comfortable taking this guy's money in exchange for nothing, while he goes back to his country with nothing to show for it, and you don't feel guilty about it, I won't encourage you to do it. You're right, he knew the risks...he's as much at fault here as you are.
But it's the right thing to do.
No, I'll go you one better. You want to do the right thing?
Give that money to a worthy charity.
ExtacyInDaytona
04-03-2007, 10:59 PM
Thanks for the warning. I have a friend who is working 3 jobs to get through college, and he was offered 10K to pretend to marry a chick. I'll show him this and make him reconsider. I've also had a few friends maybe-jokingly propose marriage, which I turned down. Now I appreciate the bullets that I dodged. Thanks again.
I've had my fair share of fucking things up due to getting nervous/assuming that it was alreadyfucked up/got intimidated/was oblivious. It happens, especially when psychology is applied. You sound like you've learned something. Good luck with the future. I hope the guy can find his way in the world. I'd send him off with a bit of cash so he's not totally fucked.
Thanks for seeing this threads puropse!
and he has plenty of cash! hes a very smart man speaks 4 languages and has to be the most observant person i have ever met! He is also is very organized and smart with his money... I havnt discussed what he has saved as its none of my business but i know he has money to bring home and have told him get it out of the bank and give it to his family before they catch up to him to deport him or they will take it all.
a good friend of mines sons father was deported with 40,000 dollars in his bank account and the government took every Dime.
Since he has been here he did buy a new nicer home for his family so it wasnt a total waste for him he just didnt accomplist his complete goal and im sure whatever amount he goes home with will exchange to a farely high rater there but havnt actually looked into the exchange rates yet.
ExtacyInDaytona
04-03-2007, 11:04 PM
You didn't lose anything except a little inconvenience. If you were so desperate to get married two years ago, you wouldn't have done this. Are you planning on getting married immediately? Time's a wastin, after all.
Hey, if you feel comfortable taking this guy's money in exchange for nothing, while he goes back to his country with nothing to show for it, and you don't feel guilty about it, I won't encourage you to do it. You're right, he knew the risks...he's as much at fault here as you are.
But it's the right thing to do.
No, I'll go you one better. You want to do the right thing?
Give that money to a worthy charity.
yup charity would be the right thing to do but since im a cold heartless bitch i think ill spend whats left on a beautiful wedding for my boyfriend of 6 years and I! Ill be sure to post pictures for all to judge!!!;D
Lysondra
04-03-2007, 11:06 PM
yup charity would be the right thing to do but since im a cold heartless bitch i think ill spend whats left on a beautiful wedding for my boyfriend of 6 years and I! Ill be sure to post pictures for all to judge!!!;D
Now that takes the goddamn cake. Really. Am I the only one who sees the cruel irony of life here?
ExtacyInDaytona
04-03-2007, 11:13 PM
Sarcasm genius!!! Sarcasm no telling you people that im not a freekin home wrecking monster so may as well let you feel you are right!!!
and if you were in my shoes in that office you would have done the same thing if you knew you were wrong those people are TRAINED to make you crack thats their job.
To better help you all understand they are trained me make you crack just the same as a stripper learns and becomes a professional BULLSHITTER to get mens money!
They knew what they were doing and phycology is a mother fucker trust me they have so many different scare tactics and they use them for a reason they WORK if your lieing they will see right through you if they dig deep enough I beleive thats why they asked so many questions they were already really suspicous so they figured they would up the odds of us fucking up by asking us our flippin life story!
Lysondra
04-03-2007, 11:14 PM
Sarcasm genius!!! Sarcasm no telling you people that im not a freekin home wrecking monster so may as well let you feel you are right!!!
and if you were in my shoes in that office you would have done the same thing if you knew you were wrong those people are TRAINED to make you crack thats their job.
To better help you all understand they are trained me make you crack just the same as a stripper learns and becomes a professional BULLSHITTER to get mens money!
They knew what they were doing and phycology is a mother fucker trust me they have so many different scare tactics and they use them for a reason they WORK if your lieing they will see right through you if they dig deep enough I beleive thats why they asked so many questions they were already really suspicous so they figured they would up the odds of us fucking up by asking us our flippin life story!
My problem isn't you cracking... it's you faking the entire relationship to begin with... simply because it PERSONALLY effects me and my life.
ExtacyInDaytona
04-03-2007, 11:25 PM
Well everyone elses problem seems to be me cracking if your mad at me for faking a marriage and it affecting your life you are ABSOLUTLY ENTITLED TO BE!!!! I wont deny that the whole thing was wrong or that you have the right to be upset with people such as I who do such a thing it is selfish on all behalfs the American and the Immigrant participating..
Everyone else is blaming me for his not passing which is not the case and he would not have passed weather I told on myself or not. every interview i have heard about first hand has been different and you have no idea what kinda shit their gonna throw at you
I know of a real couple who got denyed because the man did not know what color his wifes panties were most couples i know dont know what color their mates underwear is that day and even if they watched them dress probably didnt pay attention and the Immigration Officer actually took the woman in the bathroom to see if he had it right! TRUE STORY! So the fact of the matter is any one can fuck up an interview depending on how badly (ours was bad) a good laywer can somtimes save it after being denyed ours however was a lost cause
Lysondra
04-03-2007, 11:28 PM
Oh that's a worry! My partner is colour blind! And I wear multi-coloured stripey underwear.
Man now you made me all nervous 'n' stuff. :/
ExtacyInDaytona
04-03-2007, 11:41 PM
:-\ well trust me you cant over prepare make a list of any possible questions that pop into your head seriously. I have also known of a couple who went they went through the paper work (prepared by same woman and the marriage was fake) asked no questions stamped her passport and said "i have one question are you married for love" and they passed 2 weeks later her green card came in the mail and that was the end of it thats one extreme mine just happened to be on the other end of the spectrum
PookaShell
04-03-2007, 11:57 PM
*runs from this thread and hides*
ExtacyInDaytona
04-04-2007, 12:16 AM
Good idea Pooka!~
Hatshepsut
04-04-2007, 12:24 AM
Seriously, this thread is a pissing contest between skunks. We come to SW to get away from drama, not recreate strip club locker rooms.
Chrissy68
04-04-2007, 12:25 AM
That i did and i expected lectures such as risking my freedom for money
And is he going to give me back my 2 years i could have been married to my real man that I could have bought a house by now but didnt because I couldnt apply for a loan with him because i was married to somone else?
Is he going to take away the stress i went through before both interviews and the anxiety i went through in between when i concidered backing out but didnt for the sheer fact that I cared enough to tough it out because thats what I agreed to do?
again.. im hearing this, in your mind, is ALL about YOU. risking your freedom. and still.. did we get where he came from?
i am not trying to judge you but i am READING you LOUD and CLEAR.. "ME ME ME ME ME." there's more than you and he in this situation.. and i realize you are young (not a reason) and didnt think it through (again not a reason) but .. wow. the word vapid comes to mind. i truly hope you figure this one out..
that's all i have to say on this.
aussiepunkshocker
04-04-2007, 12:38 AM
Having read a few more of your posts, Im glad to hear that the whole thing hasnt been a complete disaster for him!
One thing Ive noticed with men Ive met her in simular situations is that they do save money and send money back to their families. I dont know how some of them survive sometimes given that some are doing really shit paying jobs but they do and it makes a big difference to the family they left behind. 5 years of being able to do that is better than nothing.
Im with the "give the money back" crowd though - or at least half of it. To spend it on a wedding seems so trivial given that it could mean the difference of his children getting a decent schooling or proper health care. Do you know much about Uzbekistan?
I see your view point and how the whole thing has inconvenienced you too, but really I dont think you got such a bad deal considering. Definatly people should learn from your mistake though!
Thanks for seeing this threads puropse!
and he has plenty of cash! hes a very smart man speaks 4 languages and has to be the most observant person i have ever met! He is also is very organized and smart with his money... I havnt discussed what he has saved as its none of my business but i know he has money to bring home and have told him get it out of the bank and give it to his family before they catch up to him to deport him or they will take it all.
a good friend of mines sons father was deported with 40,000 dollars in his bank account and the government took every Dime.
Since he has been here he did buy a new nicer home for his family so it wasnt a total waste for him he just didnt accomplist his complete goal and im sure whatever amount he goes home with will exchange to a farely high rater there but havnt actually looked into the exchange rates yet.
ExtacyInDaytona
04-04-2007, 12:43 AM
Why would i pay him back when we both had an agree ment and both knew the risks and the agreement wasnt I pay him back if he gets denied!
And honestly if i did feel obligated to do such he wouldnt accept the money he wasnt worried about the money what crushed him most was the time he lost that he cant get back the 5 years he spent and its gone
Nothing he or I can do to change it just is what it is and we have to move on... sad cruel but true.
The most I can do is testify against the woman who set it up to put a stop to her. If we had met on out own even with it being a fake marriage and done our own paper work we would have been fine her NAME is what screwed us we were doomed before walking in the door! But im done debating seriously its pointless
AlexxaHex
04-04-2007, 01:13 AM
a nice soft spoken smily oriental woman
FYI they are called Asian, not Oriental.
Seems like everyone else before me has ripped you a fresh, new one, so I see no need to push it. I could, but I don't wanna waste my energy. It is obvious you are completely clueless. Hopefully you'll learn from this and grow the fuck up. Enjoy your nice cushy life in America!
LilyLove
04-04-2007, 01:24 AM
^^^ I agree with AlexxaHex. So do you refer to yourself as occidental? Cause that's the counterpart to Oriental.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occidental
I'm not even gonna go into the original reason for your post, other than to say that I know that you obviously feel some remorse. Otherwise you wouldn't have signed up for this reaming by posting it. The angry comments you got back actually furthered your purpose: I'm sure anyone who read your thread who was even thinking about doing what you did will think twice now!
aussiepunkshocker
04-04-2007, 01:45 AM
Sometimes its just about doing *the right thing* not what you agreed to thats all.
Fair enough if you are totally sure that this man is well off and wont be doing too badly when he returns to Uzbekistan and if you feel that keeping the money is the right thing (and I mean from the sale of the car etc, not nessesarilly everything he ever paid you.) ok.
Can you be sure though?
Why would i pay him back when we both had an agree ment and both knew the risks and the agreement wasnt I pay him back if he gets denied!
And honestly if i did feel obligated to do such he wouldnt accept the money he wasnt worried about the money what crushed him most was the time he lost that he cant get back the 5 years he spent and its gone
Nothing he or I can do to change it just is what it is and we have to move on... sad cruel but true.
The most I can do is testify against the woman who set it up to put a stop to her. If we had met on out own even with it being a fake marriage and done our own paper work we would have been fine her NAME is what screwed us we were doomed before walking in the door! But im done debating seriously its pointless
aussiepunkshocker
04-04-2007, 02:02 AM
^^^And Im just skeptical because its Uzbekistan. Though Im also wondering if he will be able to transfur the money and keep it / use it himself anyway...
>>>In fact, under Islam Karimov pensions and real wages have been massively devalued, the universal healthcare system has crumbled and full employment evaporated. To paraphrase one academic: it is remarkable how quickly Uzbekistan has gone from being largely incomparable to the Third World to being largely indistinguishable from it.
To be fair, Karimov is not solely responsible for this tragedy – the loss of subsidies from Moscow hit the republic hard. Nonetheless, deeply rooted corruption and the expense of maintaining his own cronies in power have slowed down economic growth and kept much of the population in poverty.<<<
And
>>>For the last decade Uzbekistan observers have warned that the absence of legitimate avenues for an impoverished population to express dissent could prove explosive. Sure enough, since the late 1990s hostility and bitterness to the Karimov regime has grown. The Government’s response to both violent and non-violent underground opposition movements has been harsh: mass arrests and imprisonment of political suspects, show trials, executions, torture and extra-judicial killings. This is contributing to a widespread sense of discontent. Ironically, Karimov has created an Islamist opposition where none existed before.<<<
jaizaine
04-04-2007, 02:10 AM
I have not read the entire thread but why do u all (from theposts i did read) feel sorry for this guy? The stupid prick tried to commit fraud and illegally immigrate to your country. I personally dont want losers like that in my country. Not only have they no respect for the laws of the country but they are also encouraging citizens to break laws to help them.
fuck that they should piss off and stay in their own country.
im glad the situation fucked up for him, he should have gone legit.
buffie06
04-04-2007, 02:13 AM
I couldn't even stand to read all these posts bashing you, you obviously know what you did was wrong. Does no one else think that this guy is at least half at fault? You are 21 years old, took a risk , lost and are learning from it. I wonder if he messed up the interview and you got in trouble if people would feel sorry for you, I wouldn't. You are responsible for your own actions and so is he. People make mistakes, and although this is a big one , you are surely not the villan in the situation. I don't feel one ounce sorry for the guy, he knew the risk same as you.
jaizaine
04-04-2007, 02:20 AM
^^^
couldn't agree more. I wouldn't have gotten involved in the first place but hindsight is a great thing.
However, I can't believe how everyone viewed this fraudulent fuck as a victim!
He is committing crimes to get into the country - ahhhhhhhh i can't stand this shit.
I dont think she should pay him back, he learned a valuable lesson and you have one less immigration fraudster.
He is NOT a victim in this, he deserved everything he got. I am glad the OP backed out at the last minute, she realised it was wrong and she put an end to it. She was silly to get involved in the first place but at least she didn't go through with it.
aussiepunkshocker
04-04-2007, 02:30 AM
Well I know not everyone who tries to illegally enter another country is desperate, but if you have a good look at the living conditions of some of the places people are coming from maybe youd have a fair idea why.
I have not read the entire thread but why do u all (from theposts i did read) feel sorry for this guy? The stupid prick tried to commit fraud and illegally immigrate to your country. I personally dont want losers like that in my country. Not only have they no respect for the laws of the country but they are also encouraging citizens to break laws to help them.
fuck that they should piss off and stay in their own country.
im glad the situation fucked up for him, he should have gone legit.
jaizaine
04-04-2007, 02:40 AM
Well I know not everyone who tries to illegally enter another country is desperate, but if you have a good look at the living conditions of some of the places people are coming from maybe youd have a fair idea why.
I do understand that when they are genuine refugees but from the sound of this, this man had moved there and was living in the US for 5 years plus he had money to pay her so it sounds like he was just a queue jumper.
aussiepunkshocker
04-04-2007, 02:43 AM
^^^ No, often the case is that whole families go into debt just to get one person out.
The one and only Raven
04-04-2007, 02:47 AM
Jeezeee.... I don't even want to comment on this thread, especially since I just watched Borat....
Someone please laugh.
jaizaine
04-04-2007, 02:49 AM
I prob should opt out of the debate I can't be impartial here coz of my background in law so Im just seeing the illegality of it and that part is pissing me off.
So I opt out of the immigration/refugee part coz I admitedly know nothing about those situations.
However I think it's pretty unfair on the OP that everyone has totally jumped on her over this. When it comes down to it he was paying her to marry her to get into the country - that's a crime and he learned the hard way by loosing his money.
Some posts to the OP were downright hateful and I don't think she deserved that and yes Im saying that despite the fact that I think the whole thing was wrong.
AlexxaHex
04-04-2007, 02:50 AM
They are both guilty of stupidity and law breaking. I also don't know why everyone is defending him either.
Dottie Rebel
04-04-2007, 02:51 AM
Daytona, this situation breaks my heart. It seems you don't want to listen to all the women here because you don't like their tone, but I wish you would take a long look in the mirror. You said in the OP that you are a hard, strong bitch or something to that effect, as if to absolve yourself from "cracking" under pressure. However, your post suggest to me that you are not very street smart. You want to pin all the blame on the woman who arranged the match, but you essentially allowed yourself to be victimized by a con artist. It seems that you did not fully appreciate the rigor of the interview process and therefore did not properly prepare. You did no research, but instead relied on anecdotes about friends of friends of friends and what experiences they had. And you listened to this woman when she said it would be simple. Any reasonable person would never, ever believe that the process by which a foreigner becomes a U.S Citizen could be easy.
Ultimately a fairly fined tuned system designed to catch these illegal arrangements met up up with a very young, naive, and uneducated woman who was not prepared for it. You're a statistic. I'm sure it happens all the time.
You said something to the effect that you giving back the money would be equivalent to a stripper giving back money that a man had spent on her. The fact that this really makes sense in your mind makes me feel very sorry for you. You obviously have no idea of what it means to travel ethically through life--let alone what life is like outside of this little bubble we call the United States. You are worried about years in prison? What if your life was so bad that you'd risk 5 years away from your family and possible prison time for a slim chance at escape for you and your family. This is not a strip club.
If you don't give the money back, I predict you will grow up a little bit eventually, look back at the way the whole thing went down, and be absolutely eaten alive with guilt for being so cavalier about the immigration process and not really appreciating what was at stake. You have an opportunity to try to do something to make up for your shortcoming. Fuck what the arrangement was. Can't you see it's not about that?
Someday when you are lying in bed on your 600 count Egyptian cotton sheets--a wedding present, no doubt--in your beautiful suburban home with your handsome husband, your sweet little children sleeping in the next room, I hope you think about this man and where he is at that moment. If you gave the money back (a token, you admitted, as his time he will never, ever get back) these moments might be few and far between and they may pass in and out of your mind along with all the same sorts of regrets of youthful indiscretions that we all experience. If not, the thought of him and his family will haunt you for the rest of your comfy, affluent life.
aussiepunkshocker
04-04-2007, 02:52 AM
^^^ Well said Dottie!
Yeah i totally agree that I dont think some of the comments were nessesary.
I must admit, Borat did cross my mind too, lol :-D
jaizaine
04-04-2007, 03:27 AM
High five, it's a nice sexy time.
Djoser
04-04-2007, 03:34 AM
Holy fucking shit...
I know ExtacyInDaytona. I worked with her in one of the most bizarre clubs you could ever imagine. In fact, you can't possibly imagine how bizarre it was. My best friend and I used to laugh about it, before he was murdered as a result of working there. It was so strange that if they made a movie about it, people would fucking love it, but no one would ever believe it could be true.
I am glad I worked there, because now I have some wild stories to tell my grandchildren, and enough background material to write a kinghell novel--which would be a guaranteed bestseller, if I got off my ass and did it.
But the downside of the place was, it bred desperation. In fact the city of Daytona should not be famous for its beach, its Nascar races, its Bikeweek or Biketoberfest, its suitability as a 'family vacation destination' (a fucking joke if I ever heard one, in spite of the massive PR blitz to that effect).
It should be famous as the crab-infested crotch of the nation, actually. It is a veritable cesspool of desperation and tackiness. I have lived all over the country, and never have I seen humanity at its worst like in this town. People use each other here, and the top of the pyramid consists of those most adept at manipulation and taking advantage of the hordes of desperate, ignorant people who seem to flock here from every part of the nation.
The con artist is the King of Daytona.
I almost agreed to a 'green card marriage', myself, I am embarassed to admit--out of desperation a few years back when a real estate slump ruined the business I had painstakingly built up again after moving from Texas (the single most foolish mistake of my entire life). Fortunately it didn't work out.
The real villain here, of course, is the hustler who arranged the marriage, who will apparently pay for her crimes.
What I am struck by in this thread is the fact that some of my very favorite people from SW are responding to it, both old trusted friends and new acquaintances, whom I have recently been in quite pleasant communication with. This is so striking as to seem impossible.
The people responding, mostly with severe criticism, are among those I am the very closest with here on SW. I don't blame them at all, but they don't know Extacy like I do.
ExtacyInDaytona may not have effectively communicated her intent in posting this thread, or her true feelings about the matter. She was trying, and it didn't work too well.
But I know her, and I know she doesn't actually have a malicious bone in her body. She doesn't have a lot of money, and has children to raise. In Daytona, whether you are a dancer or not, this is probably as difficult as anywhere in the country. Of course it doesn't make what she did correct, but she's not saying it does, far from it.
Actually, I wouldn't raise a dog in that town--but many people get stuck there, and do the best they can, and many of them make mistakes.
She admits she made a mistake, and said in her OP that she was posting the thread to warn people not to make the same mistake she did..
Embyr
04-04-2007, 03:42 AM
^^^^ I am glad you posted this... although not many (or any) "agree" with what the OP did, you are right- she did add a warning line to her post, and I suppose that was the intent of the post... though it got lost somewhere in the flaming. For myself, I apologize for a.) not having correctly analyzed the OP and b.) being way too antagonistic in my response. She admits she made a mistake, and though we could make this a huge emotionally-charged immigration debate, it is NOT what she intended, and Djoser I'm also glad you put location into context... not many people know what a truly desperate city looks like, and how it can bring out the absolute worst in people as it preys on their weaknesses and shortcomings.
Dottie Rebel
04-04-2007, 04:28 AM
I get you, Djoser. I wasn't trying to join a feeding frenzy. My post was strongly worded, but not malicious or nasty. I didn't call her names. I didn't tell her she was a bad person. Please don't paint me with the same brush just because you are disappointed with some of your friends.
I've never been to Daytona, so I don't know. But I hope she really learns something from this--and not just, "don't do an arranged marriage for money again."
Hell--I'VE considered doing what she did before. Honestly, I don't have much respect for the law, prima facie. But, in being the anarchist I am, I've come to accept that I'll have to live with the consequences of my actions.
Djoser
04-04-2007, 04:49 AM
My post was strongly worded...
Please don't paint me with the same brush just because you are disappointed with some of your friends.
...I've come to accept that I'll have to live with the consequences of my actions.
I'm not painting anyone. I love you guys.
I swear it's amazing, the ratio of respondents that I am close with here--it's like some sort of bizarre sign from the gods.
She has been misunderstood, and I am able to explain. She knows very well what she did was wrong, and it came off to you like she was bragging or laughing, but it's not really so.
Not knowing her as I do, and getting the impression she was bragging about money she doesn't have (unless she suddenly struck a goldmine since I left Daytona, lol) and maybe laughing about the situation, many of you were severely critical--which under the circumstances is entirely understandable.
She has just learned about some of the consequences of her actions, and was trying to warn people not to make the same mistake.
scarlett_vancouver
04-04-2007, 05:01 AM
But I know her, and I know she doesn't actually have a malicious bone in her body. She doesn't have a lot of money, and has children to raise. In Daytona, whether you are a dancer or not, this is probably as difficult as anywhere in the country.
Not as difficult as it must be in Uzbekistan if this guy went to the lengths he did to try for a better life in America.
No sympathy.
She should return the money- every cent. Even if she goes into debt. She'll live. She's a dancer in America, for fuck's sake! She can get social assistance, she can get a loan...she has options. No matter if she isn't bright enough to think of them (the legal ones).
This guy, on the other hand, could be facing SERIOUS hardship in Uzbekistan.
Extacy, you really, really need to consider what type of person you are settling on being if you keep the money.
ETA: I took the liberty of looking up per capita income in Uzbekistan...under 2k USD.
http://globalis.gvu.unu.edu/indicator_detail.cfm?IndicatorID=140&Country=UZ
BmiWMT14
04-04-2007, 08:02 AM
I agree with everything Djoser said. I know ExtacyInDaytona as well, not nearly as good as Djoser does but know here just the same. She is a very caring person with a HUGE heart, who made a mistake.
scarlett_vancouver
04-04-2007, 08:04 AM
^ if a person makes a mistake, and tries to fix it for all involved, fine. If a person makes a mistake and benefits from it at the expense of others, not fine.
BrunetteGoddess
04-04-2007, 08:30 AM
And is he going to give me back my 2 years i could have been married to my real man that I could have bought a house by now but didnt because I couldnt apply for a loan with him because i was married to somone else?
Is he going to take away the stress i went through before both interviews and the anxiety i went through in between when i concidered backing out but didnt for the sheer fact that I cared enough to tough it out because thats what I agreed to do?
Um, you chose to put youself in that situation, not him. You could have declined.
And I wasn't defending either of them. Like another poster said, they were both guilty of stupidity.
Mr Hyde
04-04-2007, 09:17 AM
Sarcasm genius!!! Sarcasm no telling you people that im not a freekin home wrecking monster so may as well let you feel you are right!!!
and if you were in my shoes in that office you would have done the same thing if you knew you were wrong those people are TRAINED to make you crack thats their job.
To better help you all understand they are trained me make you crack just the same as a stripper learns and becomes a professional BULLSHITTER to get mens money!
They knew what they were doing and phycology is a mother fucker trust me they have so many different scare tactics and they use them for a reason they WORK if your lieing they will see right through you if they dig deep enough I beleive thats why they asked so many questions they were already really suspicous so they figured they would up the odds of us fucking up by asking us our flippin life story!
Actually, I'd have never been in that office in the first place.
Mr Hyde
04-04-2007, 09:19 AM
I couldn't even stand to read all these posts bashing you, you obviously know what you did was wrong. Does no one else think that this guy is at least half at fault? You are 21 years old, took a risk , lost and are learning from it. I wonder if he messed up the interview and you got in trouble if people would feel sorry for you, I wouldn't. You are responsible for your own actions and so is he. People make mistakes, and although this is a big one , you are surely not the villan in the situation. I don't feel one ounce sorry for the guy, he knew the risk same as you.
I am not sure that she thinks what she did was wrong, actually...just sorry she got caught.
Yekhefah
04-04-2007, 09:24 AM
That's the thing, it doesn't sound like she knows what she did was wrong at all. Doesn't sound like she's learning from it either. She's just sorry she got caught and she's still laughing about fleecing this guy and his family out of more money than they'll make in the next five years. THAT's the part that's not cool... it's not the mistake she made, it's her attitude.
britt244
04-04-2007, 10:23 AM
That's the thing, it doesn't sound like she knows what she did was wrong at all. Doesn't sound like she's learning from it either. She's just sorry she got caught and she's still laughing about fleecing this guy and his family out of more money than they'll make in the next five years. THAT's the part that's not cool... it's not the mistake she made, it's her attitude.
yup, basically. who thinks this is funny? show of hands, please. oh wait, i think she's the only one.
hardkandee
04-04-2007, 11:01 AM
I'm sorry, but this isn't the kind of mistake you make just because you are 21 years old. That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard and really points out the lack of maturity some people have despite being legally declared adults.
Yeah, the matchmaking service needs to be found at fault and shut down.
Yeah, the guy was also in the wrong by choosing this as a method to gain access into the country.
And yeah, getting married to someone for money is wrong on several levels. You don't know who the hell this person is and why he needs to sneak into the country. That alone could have huge ramifications that put you and those around you at risk. The system is in place for a reason. Don't abuse it and ruin it for people who legitimately need it. I'm going to leave it at that as lilithmorrigan obviously has it covered.
But a lot of people suffered from this "mistake." Realize the magnitude of your actions and learn.
Djoser
04-04-2007, 11:40 AM
That's the thing, it doesn't sound like she knows what she did was wrong at all. Doesn't sound like she's learning from it either. She's just sorry she got caught and she's still laughing about fleecing this guy and his family out of more money than they'll make in the next five years. THAT's the part that's not cool... it's not the mistake she made, it's her attitude.
Realize the magnitude of your actions and learn.
More of my favorite people responding.
She knows what she did was wrong. She states in the OP that her purpose in starting the thread was to warn people about how bad a mistake it would be to do what she did. In that sense she has learned, and wants to share the lesson.
I don't think she thinks it's funny, I think it's the way she has written about it being misunderstood. OTOH, maybe she was trying to inject a little humor while describing a colossal fuckup that could conceivably land her in jail. I just woke up, I'm still tired after 3 hours sleep, so I am not as coherent as I should be right now, either.
She seems very aware of the legal repercussions, and I don't remember her saying anywhere that she shouldn't be in trouble with the US government for taking part in the attempt of an alien to defraud it.
I'm not saying Extacy did nothing wrong, but I don't think she is trying to say that either. I mean, look at the title of the thread...
Laylas
04-04-2007, 11:59 AM
I think that people need to realize that making a posting about something you did/are doing/about to do that is NOT legal will more often then not get you flamed. At the very least, some people will disagree morally with it and not be shy about letting you know.
Time and time again, I wonder why people are surprised when this happens /:O
Chrissy68
04-04-2007, 12:03 PM
you may be right that she didn't effectively communicate her feelings here, but you are also jumping to conclusions just because you knew her. i mean i adore you DJoser, but reread her posts in this thread, it really doesn't seem like she knows what she did was wrong, it seems like she was selfishly thinking about herself and is only sorry she got caught. just my :twocents:.
and Laylas is right.. remember that girl who stole like 5k and took a cab home and when the guy followed had him arrested for following her? heh.. yea we all sympathized with her (not). i wonder why girls post the "i dont know why i did thi sbut god i feel dumb" stories here and expect sympathy. this kind of posting seems the kind of thing to tell a good friend.
BrunetteGoddess
04-04-2007, 12:03 PM
I wonder that as well.
BalletBaby
04-04-2007, 01:36 PM
What both of them did wasextremely stupid. And also ILLEGAL. Yes, it's sad that this guy can't make a life for himself in America and I know nothing about what it takes to legally become a citizen, but don't expect to do something illegal and not get caught. Both parties here got what they deserved. I believe that even though you wasted a few years of your life married to this man you need to give the money back. You have to realize some of his life was also wasted and now he has to start over again. I think the real lesson here is don't do something illegal just because you are offered money. In the end you both got fucked.
buffie06
04-04-2007, 03:24 PM
She should return the money- every cent. Even if she goes into debt. She'll live. She's a dancer in America, for fuck's sake! She can get social assistance, she can get a loan...she has options. No matter if she isn't bright enough to think of them (the legal ones).
This guy, on the other hand, could be facing SERIOUS hardship in Uzbekistan.
Extacy, you really, really need to consider what type of person you are settling on being if you keep the money.
This is bs! Keeping the money does not make you a bad person and you both should face whatever consequenses come your way. However, you should not feel bad that he can not make whatever money in his country , those are the cards he was dealt and he took a risk to make his life better. It didn't work, end of story. I am sooo sick of people on here defending him, does anyone not understand his fault in this? Being young is most definately a reason this girl is in this mess. I don't think she finds it funny at all, but it has most likely been and will be a huge source of stress for her. I don't feel sorry for her, but for all of you who say she needs to consider what type of person she is settling on being if she keeps the money, that is just ignorant.