View Full Version : Alright here we go
Katrine
04-09-2007, 10:08 PM
I'm so sorry hon, and I'm glad you are seeking treatment. I, for one, can relate to that feeling of powerlessness and lack of control. Be safe, you and your family are in my thoughts.
Lola Rose
04-09-2007, 10:32 PM
Much love, I do consider you part of my SW family! I'm sooooo glad you're getting help.
Dottie Rebel
04-09-2007, 10:33 PM
I am wishing you well, sweetie. Just remember, besides your beautiful self you have two AMAZING reasons to live and be healthy and happy.
virgoamm
04-09-2007, 10:52 PM
Wow, Tart-I had absolutely no idea what you were going through. And thank God those sleeping pills didn't work.
You're one of my favorite posters on here-you're absolutely gorgeous and have a wicked sense of humor.
I'm so glad that you realized that you had a problem and are taking steps to make yourself better. I hope that you get the help you need, and remember that we're all here for you!
Take care sweets and :grouphug:
Alright Im going to bed, and then off to the airport tomorrow. So I guess i'll do my last admit before I go..I might post from midway tomorrow as i weight to board.
But I still wish I could lose 5 more lbs ..I know I know...But I gotta get better. It still sucks though that I want to.
Arugh anyways...I didnt want to hold in teh truth... But im off to sleep I hope. Getting up at 11 am is way early for me..
XO love you ladies.
And if I dont log into here before I board the flight
I'll talk to you in a week
sc0101
04-10-2007, 01:31 AM
I just want to again, tell you how strong you are, even though you might not readthis before you leave. Telling anyone this is admiralable and if I could have the advice I give now I would do the same. Suicide is a horrible loss loved ones deal with, and not to say you don't have the right, but I lost my brother who I loved more than myself due to suicide. You WILL GET THROUGH THIS. YOU WILL BEAT THIS. Again, best of luck.
Embyr
04-10-2007, 02:40 AM
tart- if you get this before you leave- please please please PM me. I have been to renfrew Philly, and can very well identify with your situation, as i've posted about before. please stay strong. EDs are so muh fucking harder to get over than drugs because you have to deal with your addiction "in moderation" every day/
i'm worried for you, and worried for myself as well... i can feel sublte hints of my body failing to work properly at 22 and it frightens me.
plus, i had major dental surgery today to deal with the erosion... 5 fillings, a root canal, and 4 crowns. i was put under and am only now 'waking up.' not trying to scare you, but if you keep this up.... you WILL DIE. intentional (depression) or unintentional (biological). and i understand you at every point. please, please get in contact with me. good luck and my sincerest hopes on the BEGINNING of your journey... to those who with a "fast recovery...." ain't gonna happen/ but with hard work, faith, white-knuckling and some fake-it-til-you make it, (as well as some psychological intervention, it seems) you could very well be on the road. good luck, sweetie.
sxybrat07
04-10-2007, 09:15 AM
Wow Tart, I am so sorry you're going through this. Kudos to you for taking control and getting help. My PM box is always open. :) Good luck, and be safe.
tRoUbLeMaKeR
04-10-2007, 10:36 AM
Hi Tart,
I just read through all this and wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Like a couple of the other girls who've posted, I read your post and I wanted to cry. I know how hard all of this is. I myself battle an ED in high school. I've sinced stopped most of the behaviors but still struggle with the emotional aspects every so often. It is so amazing how someone can become a slave to food, laxatives, water pills, appetite surpressents, etc. Not until you are out of it do you really understand how great it is to let go off all those negative behaviors. I know you've got a long emotional journey ahead of you. Stay strong and know that you are doing this for you. Don't take what your family says too hard. No one in my family or anyone I've ever dated understands how I can feel the way I do or how it causes me to emotionally crumble. I think only those who have gone done this dark tunnel really can. I hope you use the support you have here on SW to help get you throught this. Good Luck Tart! :)
TigersMilk
04-10-2007, 08:48 PM
One more hug from me before you go. :hug: I'm cheering for you all the way there and back and the rest of the way out of it all.:flower:
I found this cute gif of a whole bunch of "im in ur's" things.
http://catmas.com/images/2006/10/im-in-ur-X-Ying-ur-Z.gif
Roulette
04-11-2007, 01:21 AM
Tart, I don't think I have ever responded to the things you've posted but I have always respected and appreciated your input on these forums.
GOD I know she doesn't get it because she's not lived through it etc. But it's I remember when I was a kid.., like maybe 4 or 5 or something.... And I was in ballet ..I fell during a recitle and my mother infront of all the other mothers and kids my age..I was prob 5
says " I tried to not sign her up for this, but she just had. She's so ungraceful" and I wanted to die.
Not too mention her pinching my sides when I was like 10 .. and saying to watch what I eat.
Or making fun of my hair because it was so wavey and impossible for her to manage. And she cut it real short because I always cried over it and said " well here now you have less to worry about " and made me look like a fucking boy.
I just want to smack her.
I cried when I read this. My step mother would always bitch at me about my weight. when I hadn't eated for two days she kept at it. when my bones were sticking out and I was brushing out clumps of hair she told me I was starting to look ok. but I could stand to lose a few Lbs. I had an ED and she didnt even notice... you also said "I don't like me. I dont find me attractive and there is someting in me that when people say " oh you are so pretty " that seriously, I think they are assholes for lying ( no offense ) I truly do ..I dont see that shit." I used to just punch people when they paid me a compliment. It will get better as you get yourself figured out. You are in my thoughts and I know you can do this. You can beat this Tart, I know you can.
Hi Tart,
I myself battle an ED in high school. I've sinced stopped most of the behaviors but still struggle with the emotional aspects every so often. It is so amazing how someone can become a slave to food, laxatives, water pills, appetite surpressents, etc. Not until you are out of it do you really understand how great it is to let go off all those negative behaviors. I know you've got a long emotional journey ahead of you. Stay strong and know that you are doing this for you. Don't take what your family says too hard. No one in my family or anyone I've ever dated understands how I can feel the way I do or how it causes me to emotionally crumble. I think only those who have gone done this dark tunnel really can. I hope you use the support you have here on SW to help get you throught this. Good Luck Tart! :)
I could not say it any better. I agree 100% with everything she says. Good luck Tart! If you need us we are here for you.
Hello_Kitty27
04-13-2007, 08:54 PM
oh my god, tart I had no idea this was going on. I hope that when you get back, you're doing better. I really don't know the right thing to say. So I wish you the best, and I'm happy that the sleeping pill thing didn't work. You seem like a wonderful person, I love your posts here. My heart goes out to you.
* there are so many damn threads on here about ED right now lol I'm running around attempting to fill everyone in.
I'm doing well, and home now. :) I wrote on the other threads !
Hatshepsut
04-13-2007, 11:36 PM
GOD I know she doesn't get it because she's not lived through it etc. But it's I remember when I was a kid.., like maybe 4 or 5 or something.... And I was in ballet ..I fell during a recitle and my mother infront of all the other mothers and kids my age..I was prob 5
says " I tried to not sign her up for this, but she just had. She's so ungraceful" and I wanted to die.
Not too mention her pinching my sides when I was like 10 .. and saying to watch what I eat.
Or making fun of my hair because it was so wavey and impossible for her to manage. And she cut it real short because I always cried over it and said " well here now you have less to worry about " and made me look like a fucking boy.
I just want to smack her.
I wish that more people were aware of how impressionable and vulnerable girls can be. All it takes is a facial expression, an offhand comment, a stereotype, a restriction. There are many things that will haunt you for life, and things pertaining to appearance is one of them.
miss cleo
04-14-2007, 05:34 AM
Just to let you know, i love reading your posts on here, you are a bright, witty, intelligent woman best of luck sweetheart.
Sinder
04-14-2007, 10:23 AM
*HUGS*
Your a strong beautiful person. We are all here to help support you in your recovery.....we need our Tart healthy and happy!