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Vyanka
04-18-2007, 07:56 AM
What crap from your partner would you put up with?

Chicagoeditor
04-18-2007, 08:16 AM
Great question. I think it comes down to the time threshold. There's that old joke: "Show me a sexy woman, and I'll show you a guy who's sick of talking to her." In other words, even great sex won't, over time, compensate for a dull, dumb or viscious partner.

That said, I think most guys who are enjoying the sex ride will put up with nearly anything--including a psycho serial murderer--for at least a month or two before giving up the pleasure orb.

Jenny
04-18-2007, 08:21 AM
None.

xdamage
04-18-2007, 09:32 AM
I'd say CE nailed it, although I'd add that the question has an unsaid twist.

The twist is that people aren't perfect (not even us), and often times people have completely unrealistic expectations about relationships, and what to expect of others, and are oblivious to their own crappy personality traits.

You'll find people then who can handle the having the sex part, but fail repeatedly in maintaining long term relationships because of what they perceive as "crap" which is really just part of the normal to-be-expected reality when two or more people are learning how to get along with each other (and probably there will always be some areas of contention, even in stable long term relationships).

So my answer is more along the lines of CE's if the sex is great but she is a psycho and I wasn't looking seriously for anything long term. Otherwise I'd say I'd say I expect that any long term relationship will have some ups and downs, I don't expect perfection because it doesn't exist, and so if you have a reasonably good relationship in which you also have great sex, sounds like a good deal to me. Of course there are complete deal breakers, like if she steals from me, or is physically abusive.

Taco Goblin
04-18-2007, 12:31 PM
Yeah, I need some context here.. like what level of crap are you talking about?

Typical crap like not re-filling the ice trays or putting the cap back on the toothpaste? Then the answer is "plenty"..

Or are you talking serious crap.. like lying, cheating, stealing, talking while the Sopranos is on? Then the answer is "zero"..

Susan Wayward
04-18-2007, 01:19 PM
Eating crackers in bed would be acceptable.

FBR
04-18-2007, 04:44 PM
I'm amazed every time I'm able to have sex. It's like...lalala...holy shit, it's actually working!

FBR

Vyanka
04-18-2007, 05:41 PM
Yeah, I need some context here.. like what level of crap are you talking about?

Typical crap like not re-filling the ice trays or putting the cap back on the toothpaste? Then the answer is "plenty"..

Or are you talking serious crap.. like lying, cheating, stealing, talking while the Sopranos is on? Then the answer is "zero"..

Nothing serious. Like annoying. BTW this was meant to be a fun thread, lol. Sorry I wasn't specific. :P

FBR
04-18-2007, 06:09 PM
None.

None? I mean, during the throws of passion, not even a "that sounds fun, honey, but my back hurts" in response to a request for a slightly deviant act? That seems cold.

FBR

Jenny
04-18-2007, 06:41 PM
I should have clarified - none that I wouldn't tolerate in the normal course of things.

Keep in mind that I have a phobia of commitment and hate being smothered. And I eat crackers in bed myself.

I wouldn't characterize being unable to abuse an already wounded sexual partner as "putting up with crap" anyway, FBR. Geez man - I think THAT'S cold.

xdamage
04-18-2007, 06:46 PM
Well, sometimes annoying stuff can end up being kind of cute; depends on how you want to look at it, but okay... I'd say as a guy, if it's just a little bit of annoying stuff and the sex is awesome, I'd put up with it for a LONG LONG time ;)

FBR
04-18-2007, 07:36 PM
I should have clarified - none that I wouldn't tolerate in the normal course of things.

Keep in mind that I have a phobia of commitment and hate being smothered. And I eat crackers in bed myself.

I wouldn't characterize being unable to abuse an already wounded sexual partner as "putting up with crap" anyway, FBR. Geez man - I think THAT'S cold.

Jenny, my bad. Had I known of your commitment phobia and your aversion to erotic asphixiation (although, from what I've read, some folks find it stimulating) I wouldn't have offered such a barbed response. But crackers in bed? I'm all over that. It makes you seem so giggly-girly. And if you tell me that the only ones you will eat are Zesta's (those salty ones that come in the red box, not the bland ones in the blue box) I'm driving to Toronto tomorrow, passport or not.

FBR

Jenny
04-18-2007, 09:01 PM
Well, I do eat salted crackers. But I'm told that Zesta's are made with animal fats. So I'm out. I require vegetarian crackers.

FBR
04-18-2007, 09:29 PM
Well, I do eat salted crackers. But I'm told that Zesta's are made with animal fats. So I'm out. I require vegetarian crackers.

Well, I didn't google Zesta. I wasn't motivated to do so because Zesta crackers don't taste like animals. They taste like crackers. I'm disappointed that the road trip is off, though. Very disappointed. But I understand. One has to stick to one's principles.

FBR

Jenny
04-18-2007, 09:38 PM
Really?
Drat. I was going to say if you pay me Miss D's rates I'll let you stick it in. If you also buy me some animal free crackers.


What are her rates, anyway?

FBR
04-18-2007, 09:48 PM
Really?
Drat. I was going to say if you pay me Miss D's rates I'll let you stick it in. If you also buy me some animal free crackers.

Damn. You know, I was waiting for you to say that. But there was this long pause and you didn't respond. So I just blurted out the the first thing that came to mind. I know I shouldn't do that but I'm not that good at this. I'm just an ol' country boy.


What are her rates, anyway?

If you seriously wanted to know, you would have asked in PM ;)

FBR

Jenny
04-18-2007, 09:59 PM
You're right, my bad - I just wanted to be sure that I'd be making minimum wage.

PrettyCurlieQ
04-18-2007, 10:09 PM
not much... if there was so much crap to be putting up with, it's likely this 'partner' would end up no more than a booty-call.

FBR
04-18-2007, 10:18 PM
You're right, my bad - I just wanted to be sure that I'd be making minimum wage.

Well, OK. I'm surprised you would view me in those terms but it's always a surprise trying to guess how other people perceive you. Lesson learned.

FBR

GenWar
04-19-2007, 08:44 AM
I'm driving to Toronto tomorrow, passport or not.

Don't need a passport to drive till next year (early Jan 2008.) Just need a passport to take a plane or boat, at this stage.

-gen

Vyanka
04-19-2007, 10:19 AM
Ok, i'll put up with long distance driving/flying. That to me is annoying, esp. flying.

X Evan X
04-19-2007, 01:17 PM
Very little, if anything at all

There are about a million other people just as good out there somewhere. I have patience
-E

lestat1
04-19-2007, 03:44 PM
Quite a bit. The line gets drawn at causing actual harm to me, my things, life, job, etc. If she's just annoying me, I can deal.

Katrine
04-19-2007, 05:41 PM
Nothing anymore. I've already put up with more than I should have. And I've had the best sex of my life, no one has even held a candle, not 70 lovers since. And I still walked away because great sex isn't worth my misery. Damn that penis power!

FBR
04-19-2007, 05:45 PM
Don't need a passport to drive till next year (early Jan 2008.) Just need a passport to take a plane or boat, at this stage.

-gen

Gen, thanks for the clarification. And its good to know because I may be making a business trip to Windsor this summer.

FBR

FBR
04-19-2007, 06:29 PM
Nothing anymore. I've already put up with more than I should have. And I've had the best sex of my life, no one has even held a candle, not 70 lovers since. And I still walked away because great sex isn't worth my misery. Damn that penis power!

Kat, you seem wistful. Maybe I'm wrong. But things change and people do grow up. The guy may be kicking himself in the ass now realizing he lost something very special and would love to hear from you.

FBR

Katrine
04-19-2007, 08:48 PM
Kat, you seem wistful. Maybe I'm wrong. But things change and people do grow up. The guy may be kicking himself in the ass now realizing he lost something very special and would love to hear from you.

FBR

Hahahahahahahaha!!!! He'd still come over and fuck me in the ass right now if I wanted him to. I could come a dozen times and ruin another mattress and he wouldn't so much ask for a blowjob (I'd want to give to him though!)

And he wouldn't give a shit about his fiance he lives with, or the mama of his baby that he left, or the other baby mama back home. He doesn't give a shit about anything but himself. He's a prof. chef and I occasionally call to ask him cooking related questions. He occasionally calls too, but the thrill is gone and I don't take him up on his offers. No fucking way in hell, I burnt myself on that stove too much. I was willing to give up anything and everything for him because I was addicted.

He is the epitome of this: http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/04/another_excitin.html

But that's very sweet of you to think this way...

datchapin
04-19-2007, 08:50 PM
During sex? Oh, I'll put up with a lot of shit, once I'm in there's no stopping til it's done. I'll put up with, being called by someone elses name, being told they love me, nipple pinching, biting, screaming and moaning before the penetration, stupid questions like does it feel good? WTF the answer should be fucking obvious. Stank breath, long nails (That shit does not hurt so good, so quit trying to draw blood.) comparisons to other lovers good or bad. Descriptions of what and how I'm doing what I'm doing.

Should I keep going? Did I answer the question right, or was is meant to be what you put up with for the sex.

FBR
04-19-2007, 09:28 PM
But that's very sweet of you to think this way...

I was worried that you held lingering feelings. But...um...since this guy is clearly a non-issue now, and those subsequent 70 guys have left you unsatisfied..

FBR

yoda57us
04-20-2007, 06:12 AM
I'm having amazing sex right now with absolutely zero negative crap or drama. Of course, it's costing me just about a car payment every time but my truck is paid for so it's all good.

Susan Wayward
04-20-2007, 09:34 AM
Am I the only person here who has (free) hot sex with someone I actually like in the context of a monogamous relationship? I feel more and more like a freak each day.

xdamage
04-20-2007, 10:12 AM
Am I the only person here who has (free) hot sex with someone I actually like in the context of a monogamous relationship? I feel more and more like a freak each day.

No, you're not, but I do think that there is evidence of socials changes afoot that are making this less common.

I also have to say, I admire Yoda's clear minded choice. I mean honestly, if all someone really wants is great sex with absolutely no crap, I think his choice about how to get that just makes complete practical sense. I know some people are really down on paying for it (although many times those same people have paid for it at least once), but I hold it in higher esteem then someone who is manipulative and gets sex for "free" but at the expense of other's hurt feelings. Not cool.

lestat1
04-20-2007, 03:23 PM
Am I the only person here who has (free) hot sex with someone I actually like in the context of a monogamous relationship? I feel more and more like a freak each day.

If that were one of my current options, I'd choose it.

Jenny
04-20-2007, 03:32 PM
Am I the only person here who has (free) hot sex with someone I actually like in the context of a monogamous relationship? I feel more and more like a freak each day.
Deviant!

We shall brand you with a scarlet "M" for monogamous.

FBR
04-20-2007, 05:41 PM
Deviant!

We shall brand you with a scarlet "M" for monogamous.

Well, she would likely wear the mark proudly in the privacy of her home but I do hope you brand her in some spot that isn't viewable at the club. Maybe an area high up on one of her butt cheeks that would normally be covered by her thong would be appropriate. Clearly, her being able to hide it, more or less, would lessen the shame but I do believe that having to constantly reach back and adjust her bottoms under the glaring stage lights would be punishment enough for her sins.

FBR

Jenny
04-20-2007, 06:08 PM
I didn't mean on her skin FBR. What kind of animal do you think I am? We will settle for forcing her to stitch it to her clothing in a conspicuous fashion.

She will just have to explain to her customers why there is an "M" on her g string.

"Is that for your boyfriend's name?"
"No! I'm being... punished."

FBR
04-20-2007, 06:18 PM
I didn't mean on her skin FBR. What kind of animal do you think I am? We will settle for forcing her to stitch it to her clothing in a conspicuous fashion.

She will just have to explain to her customers why there is an "M" on her g string.

"Is that for your boyfriend's name?"
"No! I'm being... punished."

Oh. Damn.

OK, I'm good either way. I trust your punishment instincts, Jen. But I do admit that I was looking forward to the smell of sizzling flesh.

FBR

mr_punk
04-20-2007, 06:39 PM
it'll have to be some pretty amazing sex. i've busted a lot of beaver, but i have yet to see one with a red cape with an "S" on the back hanging out of it. although, i can think of a couple woman who should have one, but not because the sex itself was so amazing.


Am I the only person here who has (free) hot sex with someone I actually like in the context of a monogamous relationship? I feel more and more like a freak each day.mononucleosis? the disease? oh, monogamy. BTW, what's that? whatever it is. yes, it sounds pretty bad.

X Evan X
04-21-2007, 01:08 AM
Am I the only person here who has (free) hot sex with someone I actually like in the context of a monogamous relationship? I feel more and more like a freak each day.
I recently did for a very happy 19 months. The sex was amazing. She treated me like a king. We only had one or two mentionable fights/arguments in all that time. She is responsible, educated, hard working, and beautiful.

Then I found out that she lied to me (and to my family and our friends) about her father passing away.

I'm still scratching my head over it. My curiosity will never be satisfied because I am not sticking around to ask any questions!
-E

yoda57us
04-21-2007, 03:09 PM
Am I the only person here who has (free) hot sex with someone I actually like in the context of a monogamous relationship? I feel more and more like a freak each day.

No you are definitely not Susan. The rest of us just got here and posted before you did. I'm sure, at least I hope, you are in the majority.

Casual Observer
04-22-2007, 11:07 AM
What crap from your partner would you put up with?

I put up with 2.5 years of her venal, vapid, vindictive and vain personality because she was that good. And I've tasted the rainbow, so it's not like I didn't have any barometer of relative performance. Saw her recently, and realized I took the best years out of her.

Vyanka
04-22-2007, 11:43 AM
I recently did for a very happy 19 months. The sex was amazing. She treated me like a king. We only had one or two mentionable fights/arguments in all that time. She is responsible, educated, hard working, and beautiful.

Then I found out that she lied to me (and to my family and our friends) about her father passing away.

I'm still scratching my head over it. My curiosity will never be satisfied because I am not sticking around to ask any questions!
-E

Oh damn, why the hell would someone lie about that? :-\ Yeah, it's a good thing you did leave, she lied about that imagine what else!

Vyanka
04-22-2007, 11:46 AM
I put up with 2.5 years of her venal, vapid, vindictive and vain personality because she was that good. And I've tasted the rainbow, so it's not like I didn't have any barometer of relative performance. Saw her recently, and realized I took the best years out of her.

Oh yes, I have too. With an exbf of three months. He was an extreme narcissist(sp?) asshole. lol. Always wanted to pick fights with some guys off the street, to prove his "macho-ness" too. ::) That shit annoyed the crap out of me. Hence, why is last only 3 months. But damn the sex was out of this world.

Lots of ppl really disliked his shitty personality, he even lost lots of good friends too. What a shame.

xdamage
04-22-2007, 03:13 PM
Oh yes, I have too. With an exbf of three months. He was an extreme narcissist(sp?) asshole. lol. Always wanted to pick fights with some guys off the street, to prove his "macho-ness" too. ::) That shit annoyed the crap out of me. Hence, why is last only 3 months. But damn the sex was out of this world.

Lots of ppl really disliked his shitty personality, he even lost lots of good friends too. What a shame.


I have this theory that who we want to fuck and who we want to settle down with are often not the same thing.

My SO was like this - bored with most guys. The way to get her attention? Act like a narcissistic asshole. Fortunately she outgrew it, but hey, as long as women flock to guys like this they are going to be around (and it's not really a big deal to a younger guy that the relationship only lasts for a few weeks - there is always another girl who is going to be attracted to the overtop narcissist).

FBR
04-22-2007, 03:34 PM
I have this theory that who we want to fuck and who we want to settle down with are often not the same thing.

My SO was like this - bored with most guys. The way to get her attention? Act like a narcissistic asshole. Fortunately she outgrew it, but hey, as long as women flock to guys like this they are going to be around (and it's not really a big deal to a younger guy that the relationship only lasts for a few weeks - there is always another girl who is going to be attracted to the overtop narcissist).

X, I'm lucky. My wife was only with one guy before I married her. So while I feel a bit guilty that she never experienced the euphoria of the narcissitic assholes you described, I am confident that the lack of exposure actually helped her raise our kids to be well adjusted adults. Admittedly, I was pretty smug during those years. But now that they are raised and I made the mistake of getting her an internet connection, I am a bit worried.

FBR

Jenny
04-22-2007, 03:47 PM
But now that they are raised and I made the mistake of getting her an internet connection, I am a bit worried.
Because without the internet you would have been absolutely faithful? Come on dude - how much could it legitimately bother you if your wife was clipping coupons to fund extracurriculars with pool boy or plumber? It just leaves you more time in which she is not likely to question your whereabouts.

xdamage
04-22-2007, 04:05 PM
X, I'm lucky. My wife was only with one guy before I married her. So while I feel a bit guilty that she never experienced the euphoria of the narcissitic assholes you described, I am confident that the lack of exposure actually helped her raise our kids to be well adjusted adults. Admittedly, I was pretty smug during those years. But now that they are raised and I made the mistake of getting her an internet connection, I am a bit worried.

FBR

I was going through a phase in my life at the time. All I had to do was treat women like shit and they'd come back for more. It was a chore and not something that came naturally to me, but the more of an asshole I acted like, the easier it was. The S.O. was a hottie and so had a bazillion guys hitting on her. She was just bored with nice guys I guess. After I dumped her all she wanted was to come back. Women can bitch about why do guys act like assholes towards them all they want, but at the time, I just knew it was what worked. I hadn't yet matured to seeing much more then as a nice guy I was boring, and being a fuck-tard hot women liked it because I was a challenge.

Fortunately she grew out of it, and I had no trouble treating her well, but I spent many years toning down the asshole in her presence. Like I said, I'm pretty sure now that the people that we are to hot to fuck are not necessarily the same people we imagine ourselves in a long term relationship with (where we are willing to trade off some short term thrills for stability and honest caring).

FBR
04-22-2007, 04:11 PM
Because without the internet you would have been absolutely faithful? Come on dude - how much could it legitimately bother you if your wife was clipping coupons to fund extracurriculars with pool boy or plumber? It just leaves you more time in which she is not likely to question your whereabouts.

I'm sorry I alluded that she couldn't call Time-Warner on her own. "I made the mistake of getting her an internet connection". She is very busy and I made the call truly in an effort to take an item off her to-do list but I can see how my comment came across as offensive and sexist.

FBR

Katrine
04-22-2007, 04:19 PM
I vote that FBR's wife gets a few free poolboy fucks to even the score.

FBR
04-22-2007, 04:25 PM
I vote that FBR's wife gets a few free poolboy fucks to even the score.

Kat, define a "few". I mean if its..like..3..thats a commensurate payback but beyond that I'm gonna fight it

FBR