View Full Version : planned suicide? advice please!
pinkpvc
04-24-2007, 03:15 AM
I can relate to what alexxa is saying. Being depressed is by nature a selfish state. What i mean by that is we spend most of our time looking inward, thinking about our feelings. We don't do it on purpose it's just par for the course. And to other people we can appear selfish, as like has been mentioned you often just don't want to leave the house at all, which translates to turning down invitations to go places which can be misconstrued as selfish and rude. Of course thinking people think these things about us makes it even worse! hence why depression is described as a downward spiral as you begin to feel bad about feeling bad about feeling bad. The only way to overcome it to a certain extent is to break out of that spiral. I did it by going shopping by myself, leaving the house for the first time in 6 months. It's been a year since then and i still get nervous about going out but then i think depression is something you have to deal with for life, but it can be improved.
I think what some people should remember is that you don't need a REASON to be depressed. Sometimes there is, it's onset by a traumatic event for example. But it is a physiological problem and thus doesn't need a hard life or a traumatic experience to cause it. Mines is hereditary, both of my aunties,my mum and my grandmother suffered from it. Sadly I believe if i had a daughter she may suffer too.
BalletBaby
04-24-2007, 01:37 PM
something i didnt know, he has aspergers.
googling that now. i guess that explains why he feels the way he does. and apparently he is still trying to change his way of thought with suicide.
Well that has a big effect on the situation. My brother also has aspergers; One summer he slit his wrists and then went to the hospital. Another time he was talking with a friend online and made a comment about wanting to kill himself(the friend told someone). People with aspergers need to be on meds. If not ,well, it just gets worse.
Have you talked to your friend recently?
And LM thanks for sharing that advice. My parents were always trying to help my brother, but it never worked out. I think part of that failure was communication.
Lysondra
04-24-2007, 04:41 PM
Aspergers on meds, what? I have never actually heard of medication for Aspergers... simply because nobody was actually 100% sure what caused it. The doctors all told me it was a mental thing I had to deal with, not medicate him.
Ballet, there's therapists that deal specifically with people who relate to Asperger's people. I'm seeing one that deals in couples therapy where one partner has it and the other doesn't. It's how I learned to communicate. Might be a good idea.
I was under the impression it was learning about the disorder and not medicating it that made it better.
On the other hand, Michael's never been a suicidal aspergers. A depressed one, yes, but not suicidal.
BalletBaby
04-24-2007, 05:00 PM
Hmm I might be wrong then. All I know is that my brother is chemically imbalanced. And my parents have been trying to get him to go to therapy for years but he just refuses. Doesn't see anything wrong with himself.:(
Lysondra
04-24-2007, 05:03 PM
They never do. It's better if the 'sane' person sees the therapist and learns how to deal with the problems... and I guess 'manipulate' the problems into positive. Kinda like my computer example. I used my knowledge of a disease to fix a problem I wouldn't have with another terminology.
Also, Asperger's people love lists. Want them to do something? Write a list.
They give Aspies things like Zoloft for depression... but never anything for Asperger's itself.
I only managed to make Michael go to therapy because I said I'd leave him if he didn't... so we pretty much agreed he has to have more opinions and I need to be less emotional when I speak.
I should mention Michael is high-functioning.
Samantha Coyle
04-29-2007, 12:52 PM
he is going to give me a call tomorrow arvo for a long conversation.
Can I ask how this went? Is he okay?
mermaidnz
04-29-2007, 07:06 PM
no idea.
he never called.
and i havent heard anything from his mum, he must be fine after all that *shrugs* or pissed off that i rung her?
GoldCoastGirl
05-01-2007, 12:05 AM
i say give him a call or give his mother a call again to get an update....
mermaidnz
03-06-2008, 06:20 PM
i guess his pain has finally ended....:(
RIP James
Lysondra
03-06-2008, 06:23 PM
Oh dear. :( I wondered about this thread but worried bringing it back up.
MsQwerty
03-06-2008, 06:44 PM
Im sorry Mermaid! :hug:
BalletBaby
03-06-2008, 07:34 PM
May your friend rest in peace:hug:
Omg, how horrible. :( Im so sorry...
:hug:
SundayMorning
03-06-2008, 08:16 PM
*sigh* I wasn't here when this thread was around the first time, but when I saw that it was bumped, I just hope hope hoped that it was some n00b that bumped it without checking the dates of the posts. No such luck.
I'm so sorry for your loss, mermaidnz. And I hope he has found his peace.
RoseLeigh
03-06-2008, 10:40 PM
I'm so sorry, Mermaid. :grouphug::kettle:
mermaidnz
03-06-2008, 10:54 PM
hes happy now. im not sad for the loss, its what he wanted, he got to say goodbye and deal with his inner demons his way,for that,im happy.some people die in this world and dont get the chance to say goodbye.
his poor mum tho...her husband commited suicide a few years back, and now her son :( poor thing.
StrawberrySwitchblade
03-06-2008, 11:29 PM
Omg... :-\
LiveFree
03-07-2008, 10:18 AM
...:(
Hello_Kitty27
03-07-2008, 03:24 PM
Wow, how did he do it? You don't actually have to answer that, I just hope his last moments weren't in agony or anything.
My closest male friend sat in his running car with the garage closed, listening to Metallica. His father found him. I've heard it takes a relatively long time to die like that, and that has to be hard b/c then you can sit there and second-guess yourself or thing of everything.
I'm conflicted about this whole topic of suicide. I know many people who have problems with devere depression. There are times I think my friend is in a better place, and there are other times I wonder what I could have done differently. And I currently have a friend who is constantly "attempting" suicide and I feel that is a cry for attention in her case....not for her to get help, but for people to feel bad for her. Now when she calls me like that, I hear her out, sympathize a bit and then tell her I have to get off the phone for whatever reason. I feel bad, and I'd feel terrible if she went through with it, but I can't let her run my life.
Anyways, sorry to go on my own little tangent.
May your friend rest in peace and have happiness finally.
mermaidnz
03-07-2008, 04:37 PM
i dont know how he done it, i havent asked.... his dad done the car gassing one about 5 years ago...i think J would have just done a drug overdose or something,
i must have learnt to deal with it, when i found out i was shocked, a lil sad, but reasonably neutral. i guess thats cos i have have had 6months to let the idea sink in of what he was going to do, so it was only a matter of when.
awww i love the pics of us at kindy standing next to eachother,partners in crime, covered in mud lol.he was like the brother i hadnt seen in 10years.
Dottie Rebel
03-07-2008, 04:41 PM
May he finally have peace.
kitty69
03-08-2008, 09:26 AM
I really am sorry, these things are never easy to deal with. I am glad in a way that at least you were a little prepared although that doesn't take away from the sadness you must be feeling. :hug:
hannah83
03-08-2008, 10:38 AM
:( I'm so sorry hun...
noelle
03-09-2008, 01:40 PM
Oh dear. I was reading this thread, hoping this wasn't the reason it was bumped. I'm sorry.
myiah
03-09-2008, 08:14 PM
Wow!! Last Night My 21 Year Old Daughter's Boyfriend Broke Up With Her..she To Suffers From Depression But Will Not Take Her Meds Evn Knowing That They Work For Her....i Heard Her Crying And Screaming In Her Bedroom So I Walk In To See If I Could Console Her...the Lights Were Out And I Set On Her Bed With Her And Reached To Hug Her And Felt A Knife..i Turned On The Light And Saw My Daughter Sobing And Cuts All Up And Down Her Arm And A Suicide Note...i Stayed Up All Night Watching Her And All Day Today And Come Monday Morning I Am Seeking Mental Health Evaluation For Her. This Is Not Just Because Of Her Boyfriend Breaking Up With Her..this Is Also From Other Crap I Cant Discuss On Here Right Now Because Its To In Depth..but I Also Found Out That She Sometimes Had Asked Her Now Ex To Cut He Arms For Her And He Did..she Says It Releases The Pain So She Can Feel Better And That She Has An Infatuation With Blood...i Am So Scared For Her And I Continue To Pray For Her And Will Go The The Ends Of This World To Be There For Her And Help Her Threw Her Pain.
mermaidnz
03-14-2008, 09:23 PM
omg. i just seen your post.... Myiah, i hope everthing is ok?
myiah
03-14-2008, 09:36 PM
well thanks for asking..right now all is okay..i have made her an apointment with a theripist but the earilst avaliable appointment is the 26th of this month..so for now im keeping a watchful eye on her..and trying to keep her from being upset.giving her a shoulder to cry on and what ever else i can possiable do..thanks for you concern and i will keep you all updated.
VegasPrincess
03-24-2008, 12:34 PM
^^
Have u thought about taking her to a mental health center in a hospital or county psych? It sounds like her problems are FAR beyond run of the mill therapy
gingerlee
03-24-2008, 09:45 PM
^^That's what I was gonna say.
Myiah I don't know what part of TN you're in, but if it's anywhere near Nashville I have contact numbers for a small army of mental health professionals. From therapists to psychiatrists to in and outpatient centers, I've got a little of everything.
And I just remembered we have a cutter's group in Nashville too, I went for a while and it helped me.
gothicgoddesstx
03-25-2008, 10:15 AM
My husband committed suicide. He told me he would...i Honestly didn't believe him.
DR: I'm Going to Kill myself if you leave me.
Me: I'm Still leaving...
30 feet out the front door....BANG.... i was planning a funeral... with in laws I'd never met before. I take any hint towards suicide serious now... *shrugs*
Just my $0.02.