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FBR
04-25-2007, 05:46 PM
My good friend Dan recently met a stripper at the club who totally rocked his world. According to him her LD's and associated affectations (he doesnt recognize them as such) have launched him to Mars and there he sits holding his breath. Anyway, he told me the other day that she popped the question re: OTC. He's a giddy school boy now..seriously. Nearly transfigured. I'm really struggling whether a mano e mano talk would be appropriate or whether I should just let it go. I really can't affect the end result but he is a good bud and I hate the thought of seeing him crash and burn.

Given your experience and already knowing the endgame words printed on the last page without having to read them, would you try to offer advice or just STFU?

I joke around a lot but in this case, its a serious request for advice.

FBR

yoda57us
04-25-2007, 05:53 PM
Ah yes, the reason that I go to clubs alone....

Seriously FBR, you can try and joke with him that "ya know, these gals are really good at making you feel special but it's all part of the job" but it probably won't sink in. The male ego is a scary thing and some lessons just need to be learned first hand.

Jenny
04-25-2007, 06:12 PM
sorry...
I'm missing something.

What are you expecting to happen?


And as for "recognizing affectations" - not for nothing FBR, but I recall a thread not in the distant distant past when you were all "I wonder if she likes me enough to see me really cheap or free... she says she really likes me... I wonder if I could set up a really complicated payment system to see how much she really, really likes me..." (Now I know your immediate impulse will be to go, search out the thread and misuse your mod power to delete the posts in question. But - just so you know, I'll still know they were there.)

FBR
04-25-2007, 06:56 PM
sorry...
I'm missing something.

What are you expecting to happen?


And as for "recognizing affectations" - not for nothing FBR, but I recall a thread not in the distant distant past when you were all "I wonder if she likes me enough to see me really cheap or free... she says she really likes me... I wonder if I could set up a really complicated payment system to see how much she really, really likes me..." (Now I know your immediate impulse will be to go, search out the thread and misuse your mod power to delete the posts in question. But - just so you know, I'll still know they were there.)

Jenny, it really isn't about me and my past and present sins. Those sins have long since been documented and are available for all to see if the the folks here want to take the time to search them out and praise or damn me after reading them. But in this situation, a friend has taken me into his confidence. He didn't specifically ask me for guidance. I'm struggling whether or not I should offer advice unsolicited or just let him forge ahead without comment.

FBR

Jenny
04-25-2007, 07:28 PM
Okay - well then, back to - what are you expecting to happen? I mean, in this scenario what does "crashing and burning" consist of? What would your guidance be? Again - I'm obviously missing something because I don't see a problem. Like, he likes her, she offered to meet him OTC at a price he is obviously willing to pay and he is happy about it - my customers would be delighted to have that "problem".

SportsWriter2
04-25-2007, 07:50 PM
I'm struggling whether or not I should offer advice unsolicited or just let him forge ahead without comment.

Just tell him everything you know that would make OTC Girl's eyes glaze over. That's what friends are for. :)

FBR
04-25-2007, 08:08 PM
Okay - well then, back to - what are you expecting to happen? I mean, in this scenario what does "crashing and burning" consist of? What would your guidance be? Again - I'm obviously missing something because I don't see a problem. Like, he likes her, she offered to meet him OTC at a price he is obviously willing to pay and he is happy about it - my customers would be delighted to have that "problem".

Blah...I feel like a party pooper now. And I certainly have no room to talk. But...
a) He's a newbie
b) He's a workaday guy making 1/5 of what I make and I struggle sometimes
c) Thinking hes viewing it as a one time event as opposed to a lifestyle change

Point taken though Jenny that on the surface at least, he should be pleased that he is in the select minority.

FBR

Moneywise
04-25-2007, 08:35 PM
Given your experience and already knowing the endgame words printed on the last page without having to read them, would you try to offer advice or just STFU?

I joke around a lot but in this case, its a serious request for advice.

FBR

This is also precisely why I go alone. However, as a pal... not just a pal but a pal that knows the game twice over, it would probably be a good gesture to explain to him just how badly his good thought can take his mind into turbulent areas in the bat of an eyelid. Who knows? Perhaps the slippery slope isn't as slippery as you think with regards to this particular lovely lady that has his eyes bedazzled. I would toss a word in his ear though.

Jenny
04-25-2007, 09:06 PM
Blah...I feel like a party pooper now. And I certainly have no room to talk. But...
a) He's a newbie
b) He's a workaday guy making 1/5 of what I make and I struggle sometimes
c) Thinking hes viewing it as a one time event as opposed to a lifestyle change

Point taken though Jenny that on the surface at least, he should be pleased that he is in the select minority.

FBR
Okay... um, while I think you are really sweet to be all concerned - I mean, do you monitor all his bills and spending? I mean, before I went around telling friends what to spend money on, I would have to see some pretty serious evidence that they were impaired in some way. (Like, Mikey, honey - you're wrecked. You really don't need a scooter right now. If you still want it tomorrow, you can come back for it. Here's some chips - buy some chips instead.). Failing that, I assume that they know what they want to spend their money on and what they can afford to spend their money better than I do. If this is what he wants... I'm sorry, what's the problem again? That you don't think he can afford to see hookers? Or you think he should shop around more? Or that you think one should only see hookers when one is planning to do it on a weekly basis subsequently? I'm still not on board with "there's a problem to be addressed."

The answers regardless, I'm obviously coming down on the side of "let your friend deal with his own finances however he sees fit." I mean, it's sex, not heroin or crack. Once he's done, he won't be combing the carpet looking for more. Unless he has a mental disability or you have some sort of fiduciary relationship, I'd stay out of it.

Idiot's Ink
04-25-2007, 09:15 PM
c) Thinking hes viewing it as a one time event as opposed to a lifestyle change

If he's really just looking at it as a one time thing then you should probably stay out of it and let him have his fun. But if he starts thinking there's something 'real' there or he starts to seriously spend more than he can afford you should probably say something, just don't expect him to appreciate the advice.

Bridgette
04-25-2007, 09:32 PM
Jenny, I think the "problem" FBR sees is that his friend might be a bit too enamored with this girl, unlike he would be with a "normal" hooker. Clearly the guy doesn't see her as a regular hooker - he sees her as something less attainable, thus the stars in his eyes at the mere thought of getting to fuck her for money. Guys don't get all starstruck over hookers because they know basically anyone with the money can fuck them. With other women, particularly women like strippers they've idealized in some way in their heads, their clear and rational thinking can get muddled. I doubt very seriously FBR would be concerned if his friend merely saw this girl as simply a hooker and wasn't so giddy about the whole thing. I'm thinking FBR sees this as more a potential emotional / mental trainwreck than financial, and is probably projecting some of his own feelings about past experience onto the situation, and would like to save his friend some grief.


FBR, I'm always inclined to say something if I feel a friend is headed for a potential disaster. Just don't be surprised if he doesn't listen and don't tell him you told him so if he regrets it later. Agreed with above poster that this kind of lesson usually has to be learned the hard way.

evan_essence
04-25-2007, 09:51 PM
Tell him your tales of woe. Perhaps something like, I know this guy who once blah, blah, blah with a stripper and then blah blah blah. Then admit you were that guy. I mean, plant a seed of doubt in the guy's mind by relaying true life experiences without directly lecturing him. It's less contentious that way. It'll probably still take some SS to be spread onto the seed to make it sprout but it might do some good.

-Ev

Jenny
04-25-2007, 09:54 PM
Oh - I think maybe I got that idea because the only substantive "problem" set out was one of finance.

FBR - okay, how would you like it if one of your friends, let's say a friend who made a great deal more money than you, took you aside and said very gently

"Look FBR - I know that these strippers are really hot, and can make you feel good about yourself, but I really think you are overspending on your girl. I mean - you don't have THAT much money. Maybe you shouldn't be spending it on hookers and hotel rooms. As well... I hate to butt in, but, don't you think you are a little.... emotionally involved in this situation? I mean, you're considering little tests to see how much she likes you... you're spending a lot of spare cash on her... and, FBR? She's a stripper. She's never REALLY going to like you back. Maybe you should just reconsider this. Find yourself a cheaper hobby."

Would that be a favour, an annoyance or really, really irritating?

Or I could just out with my real agenda - stop being such a cockblocker and let the girl earn her living, man. Geez. You will stop being popular at your club if you start telling other customers to not spend money.

Bridgette
04-25-2007, 10:14 PM
stop being such a cockblocker and let the girl earn her living, man. Geez. You will stop being popular at your club if you start telling other customers to not spend money.LOL ;D

xdamage
04-26-2007, 08:17 AM
^^^

I'm with Jay on this one. I really don't think the particulars of this situation really matter all that much. Offering a friend a warning based on your own experience is a relatively normal thing to do. As always, it's up to your friend to choose to accept the info or not. Chances are he won't, but that's not the point of why we offer our friends and loved ones info from our own experiences.

If you're friend is spending excessively in a delusional state, at some point in the future he is going to feel like total crap over it. He may also suffer a lot of emotional pain when it sinks in, emotions he should have never invested in the girl in the first place, and practical pain as well when the money is gone. The dancer isn't going to concern herself with that aspect of the future because it doesn't benefit her, and you're friend doesn't "deserve" it for being naive either. For anyone that believes that, hopefully karma will catch up with them appropriately and they'll learn about what it's like to be on the naive side of things the hard way (assuming one believes in karma of course, which it could be argued is BS).

Now as to how to word things, that I don't know. Unfortunately chances are no matter what you say, your friend will have to learn the hardway. Oh well, but in the future he may well look back and integrate what you told him and will at least understand and learn from the experience (and so not repeat it again).

mr_punk
04-26-2007, 04:47 PM
My good friend Dan recently met a stripper at the club who totally rocked his world. According to him her LD's and associated affectations (he doesnt recognize them as such) have launched him to Mars and there he sits holding his breath.she rocked his world? with what? LOL..how can a nasty skank rock his world before he actually gets the pussy?

Given your experience and already knowing the endgame words printed on the last page without having to read them, would you try to offer advice or just STFU?it depends. if he's interested in locking down on some tail and that's that...fine. OTOH, if he's talking about her as if he can't tell the difference between a ho and a housewife. i'll give him heads-up. besides, if he ignores your advice and hits bottom. later, you can say,"i told you so" and bust his chops while munching on a bag of microwave popcorn.

FBR
04-26-2007, 06:28 PM
Thanks. I appreciate the input.

FBR

Casual Observer
04-26-2007, 07:06 PM
You have to say something, because he's clearly in violation of the basic premise that what happens in the SC is not reality, and if she's seeing him on a play-for-pay basis, he needs to be able to distinguish that from genuine interest--and it doesn't sound like he can do that on his own.

We're all PLs sometimes, but that doesn't mean you have to watch someone fall on their face.

xdamage
04-26-2007, 08:00 PM
...but that doesn't mean you have to watch someone fall on their face.

.... unless you're being paid for it...

(just wanted to add that clarification)

evan_essence
04-26-2007, 08:37 PM
she rocked his world? with what? LOL..how can a nasty skank rock his world before he actually gets the pussy?That's what a sole emphasis on abstinence education in health class will do for ya.

-Ev

Santos
04-26-2007, 10:31 PM
If I understand correctly:

1) FBR feels (and if so, I agree) his friend will become emotionally attached to this dancer. That is until his friend's wallet and bank accounts are empty and his balls are left painfully blue.

2) the dancers say let the two parties do business (read: let the dancer use her charms to make a dollar or two).

If I'm correct, FBR, I suggest following Zeno's advise. Tell the guy that this dancer is not going to become his next "girlfriend". Frankly, you and I know he probably won't listen, but this is probably one of the "life's lessons" the guy will have to learn the hard way.

Howie
04-27-2007, 03:17 PM
I agree that you should warn him, but then encourage him to see where it goes. If he lands flat on his broke ass, then you can laugh at him saying "I told you so." Just don't loan him any money when his wallet has been sucked dry.

FBR
04-27-2007, 04:36 PM
Would that be a favour, an annoyance or really, really irritating?

Or I could just out with my real agenda - stop being such a cockblocker and let the girl earn her living, man. Geez. You will stop being popular at your club if you start telling other customers to not spend money.

I am concerned that my opinions might be annoying and irritating. He's a friend. I don't want him to be irritated and annoyed at me. That's why I asked for advice from you experienced folks.

Your cockblocker comment set me back on my heels, though. I hadn't considered that. Maybe deep inside I am concerned that Dan will become a player like me. And if that should happen, how would I be able to lord it over him anymore?

Thank you ma'm for motivating the soul searching :)

FBR

James Bond
04-27-2007, 06:16 PM
I would casually say to him, hey, remember, these girls are just in it for the money, so don't get carried away emotionally or financially. That's all I would say, don't twatblock. :D

That being said, are men such pussies nowadays that they can't handle an infatuation? I've had crushes on dancers before, but so what, I don't pursue it. It makes our time together more fun and it adds to the excitement. But if I, for some reason, don't ever see her again, tough, I'll move on to the next one.


"Oh Lord, stop the presses, my friend is paying for some ass and I don't think he can handle it! What if he becomes too attached, will he survive the trauma if she doesn't return his affections? What if he spends too much money?"


Just warn the son-of-a-bitch, and if he gets in over his head, then tough shit, it's not your problem!

FBR
04-27-2007, 06:26 PM
I would casually say to him, hey, remember, these girls are just in it for the money, so don't get carried away emotionally or financially. That's all I would say, don't twatblock. :D

That being said, are men such pussies nowadays that they can't handle an infatuation? I've had crushes on dancers before, but so what, I don't pursue it. It makes our time together more fun and it adds to the excitement. But if I, for some reason, don't ever see her again, tough, I'll move on to the next one.


"Oh Lord, stop the presses, my friend is paying for some ass and I don't think he can handle it! What if he becomes too attached, will he survive the trauma if she doesn't return his affections? What if he spends too much money?"


Just warn the son-of-a-bitch, and if he gets in over his head, then tough shit, it's not your problem!

Hahahha well fuck you very much for your sage advise. Just because you are shakened not stirred you think you know it all ;)

FBR