View Full Version : The Onstage "I'm a Dork" Moment.
VeganAvery
05-15-2007, 11:02 PM
I have a lot of dorky moments... which could easily be solved if only I could find breakaway g-strings... gosh. During lap dances, they get caught on my shoe... the other nights ijust kicked it off and temporarily lost it for a good 5 minutes.
My first night shift I was stuck in a really bad place in the rotation... in between the best dancer (IMO) in the club at the moment, and right before the 2-4-1 special when every girl gets up on stage and the floorman hands out shirts/hats to give away "features". So I'd finish my set, forget that I'm before the 2-4-1, and leave my g string at one end of the stage and my skirt at the other, and have my top somewhere on the catwalk... and end up scurrying around the stage nekkid while everyone else is prancing around displaying themselves to sell the dances. ha. that sucked.
Lisbeth
05-16-2007, 09:38 AM
Yeeaaaahhhh....I've had a couple of those moments.
Exhibit A, do not do leg work while wearing fishnest and lace up boots. To to so can result in having your legs stuck together while on stage. You can try to unwrap it, rip a hole in the leggings, or inchworm offstage. No matter how you try, its just not sexy.
Exhibit B, your top gets caught and knotted in your hair. (dont ask me how..I still havent figured that out) As you can imagine, the options are even less pleasant than before. Also not sexy.
Exhibit C, the day I learned that I require ankle straps on my shoes. While mid pole spin, if a shoe flies off and hits a customer, this is considered painful, not sexy.
Exhibit D, you try a new pole trick and forget to put your feet down before hitting the stage. The result- you sitting on your ass, one leg sticking out from either side of the pole with a suprised look on your face. Further insult, your tailbone hurts like hell and you dont care about playing it off, so you sit there and start doing the cabbage patch. Guy actually tips you, laughing the whole time, at which point you figure out what just happened and that you should likely get up and start um..dancing again. I should add that when its dead, no ones tipping I have been known to do the stupidest dances I could think of, unfortunately MC Hammer doesnt work well in heels, but Vanilla Ice does...
ExoticEngineer
05-16-2007, 10:05 AM
^ you made me laugh till I cried!
My dorky moments on stage... LOTS of them! If I find that no one is paying attention I'll goof off. But my dorkiest moment, a long while back I went to lean over the edge of the stage and brush my hair over a guys lap, you know, while my rear end is still up in the air and my legs are still on the stage?
Well, I lost my grip on the edge of the stage and his chair, wound up face planting in ths guys crotch while my butt was still sticking up in the air.
Yah. Hot. MmmBoy!
Another time I was feeling oh-so-fine, on hands and knees, backing up very sexy like to some Lords of Acid, when SLAM! My crotch hit the pole that had snuck up behind me.
Sunshine73
05-16-2007, 11:37 AM
^^ Oh shit! LOL! OW!
xoxoGracexoxo
05-16-2007, 12:01 PM
^ you made me laugh till I cried!
My dorky moments on stage... LOTS of them! If I find that no one is paying attention I'll goof off. But my dorkiest moment, a long while back I went to lean over the edge of the stage and brush my hair over a guys lap, you know, while my rear end is still up in the air and my legs are still on the stage?
Well, I lost my grip on the edge of the stage and his chair, wound up face planting in ths guys crotch while my butt was still sticking up in the air.
.
I saw a girl do this last night. She played it off, though, did a handstand in front of the guy with her crotch in his face, then crawled back on stage. If it had been me, I would have lain on the floor in a giggling heap.
The other night I got my top tangled in my hair. Could NOT get it out. A strand of hair got completely wrapped and twisted in the material while I was pulling the top over my head, and it just dangled there. No sexy way to play that off...I just ran off stage and untangled it bit by bit. Got back just in time to finish the song. I such a dork.
Yekhefah
05-16-2007, 12:14 PM
But my dorkiest moment, a long while back I went to lean over the edge of the stage and brush my hair over a guys lap, you know, while my rear end is still up in the air and my legs are still on the stage?
Well, I lost my grip on the edge of the stage and his chair, wound up face planting in ths guys crotch while my butt was still sticking up in the air.
OMG!! OMG!! THANK YOU!! I did this when I first started dancing in the fall of 2005... and to make matters worse, I did it to K's best friend Jon. I slammed my face into his crotch when I fell, so hard it hurt him, and he didn't know if he'd get in trouble for touching me so he didn't help me up right away. When it became obvious that I couldn't get up by myself, he picked up my shoulders and helped push me back onstage. I was so fucking embarrassed. ALL our friends saw it and Jon is still giving me shit about it. :blush:
I feel so much better knowing that someone else has done this!!
ExoticEngineer
05-16-2007, 12:54 PM
^^ Hehehehe! Too funny! The guy I did it to wasn't sure if he should put his hands on me or not either! So we both kind of flopped around for a minute until I could get a grip on the chair and push myself back up, it was aweful!
And as far as turning it into a handstand, as I've said before, and I'll say again, the ONLY way my legs go over my head is when I'm horizontal. ;)
Littlelo
05-16-2007, 02:49 PM
Or when you're doing floor work with knee-high platform boots on and the laces from one boot get caught on the other?
Yup, total dork moment. My feet were stuck together!
Even worse when it happens on the pole! I got my boot caught on my fishnets once and had to slide down the pole and wait for another dancer to unhook me! lol No more fishnets + boots + polework for me!
KentuckyMysteryMan
05-18-2007, 02:57 AM
So, you ladies want us guys to smile back at you when you smile on stage. My friend was sitting up close to the stage once and he said there was some guy sitting beside him, and he wasn't smiling and the dancer looked at him and said, "Smile.......it's pussy."
Anybody else here feel like a dork while onstage sometimes?
LOL Yes! Like if I am bent over and have my ass out, I can see the guys in front of me, and there are guys behind me... well, its just funny to be moving all sexual while the other dude sees my face. IDK, its happened a few times before. lol
Sunshine73
05-18-2007, 11:45 PM
So, you ladies want us guys to smile back at you when you smile on stage. My friend was sitting up close to the stage once and he said there was some guy sitting beside him, and he wasn't smiling and the dancer looked at him and said, "Smile.......it's pussy."
Hee hee hee hee hee!!
Sunshine73
05-25-2007, 11:45 PM
My latest and greatest "I'm a dork" moment happened last night...
Before my first stage set of the night I had to pee. So I decided to hurry and use the bathroom before I went out on stage (because we all know just how great it feels when we are in mid-set and are bloated because we are dying to do a #1). I managed to make it in time for my turn. I go out onstage when whaddaya know, one of the custies points to my shoe and mouths the words "Toilet paper". Oh shit, there's a small piece of TP stuck to my shoe. SEXY!
Yekhefah
05-26-2007, 10:47 AM
I had a great one yesterday too. I forgot my CD's and figured oh well, I'll just use the DJ's music instead for one day. Let the record reflect that our DJ is a first-class, grade A 'tard. He's a nice guy but he doesn't have the sense G-d gave little kittens. So I told him I like oldies, funk, and classic rock; for my first set, I requested the Stones. That went well. Second set came up and I found myself onstage trying to striptease to "Locomotion." :laughing:
I've danced to some pretty goofy shit in my time, but "Locomotion" takes the cake. I rocked it as best I could though, laughed and tried to have fun, actually did the locomotion for a minute. And yes, I felt like a complete dork!
Kaylinn
05-26-2007, 10:53 AM
For some reason, they played "Its raining men" last night....
It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen
Thank God I wasn't on stage for that one....
Yekhefah
05-26-2007, 11:27 AM
^^^ :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Once when I was still married, I caught my ex-husband playing Dance Dance Revolution and he was dancing to that song. I stood and watched him until the song was over, then politely informed him that he had just lost about 6,000 Man Points.
manchester
05-29-2007, 06:47 PM
the worst is when you bend down, hold out your thong or garter for a tip, and they just sit there and watch you as if youre doing some crazy trick... no shit sherlock, put some damn money in that thing!!
so, i feel like a huge nerd when im sitting up holding out my underwear until this jerkface figures out what he's supposed to do with it. i guess its more embarassing for him but when i have to stop dancing/moving to do this i lose my groove....
Kaylinn
05-29-2007, 06:53 PM
Yeah, and when you inform them to tip, and they kinda shake their heads all confused like.
What, like you actually DON'T know what to do, dickwad? Put the money in the thong or get the fuck off my stage. I fuckin hate morond liek that. DO NOT sit at my stage and not tip me! I have kicked many men off the tip rail.
gingerlee
05-29-2007, 08:09 PM
I'm always a dork, whether I'm at work or not. I trip alot, I slip and fall on the stairs, all that fun stuff. My knees always have bruises on them, and they're totally not sexy.
miss marina
05-30-2007, 12:09 AM
i bought a super short dress tonight before work. im not used to wearing mess mini dresses so during my second song on stage i untied it at my neck to pull it down...the strings were really long, i tried not to step on them but for whatever reason someone poped open a bottle of champagne it was right near me and loud so it caught me off guard and i turned around to look and when i turned back around i stepped on one of the strings hanging down and it came up and poped me in my eye!!!:O everyone at the tip rail seen it and some started laughing..the dj goes "Jordan is coming back for her 3rd and final song, fully nude so no strings can attack..."