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mr_punk
05-12-2007, 09:16 AM
according to conventional wisdom, customers are supposed sit passively while the stripper rubs on his dick. allegedly, the stripper can give a much better dance if he is passive. at least, that's the theory (LOL..i suppose it's that same theory that applies when a dancer says,"and the next dance will be better than the last"). ooops! good thing i never listen to conventional wisdom. i do love a great ass. in fact, so much that i do actively rub my willy across a stripper's taut buttocks, preferably while she's sticking out her ass while standing up or bent over. it makes Italian a lot easier.

Corgan
05-21-2007, 07:33 AM
i hate when a custy tries to control his dance. i'm the one in control, and he should realize that.

bossing me around during a LD will result in a shitty one. :)

Lapaholic
05-21-2007, 04:37 PM
MMMmmm ....OK! I kind of agree with Mr. Punk ... Tho I dont do anything with Mr. Happy while the dancer has her back to me, If I am enjoyng myself, I will try to move with the lady. I will let her lead but I wont just sit there - I try to gyrate in time with her or whatever - make it a more active for both of us. Most of the girls ive done this with seem to appreciate the enthusiasm. If I've got the music in me - watch out!! ;)

cinammonkisses
05-24-2007, 09:36 AM
make it a more active for both of us. Most of the girls ive done this with seem to appreciate the enthusiasm. If I've got the music in me - watch out!! ;)

Trust me, I'd say 98% of dancers who are giving lapdances do not appreciate your enthusiam. Yes, they may smile and "act" like they are having a good time, but they aren't.

I'm with Corgan, if you are trying to lead my show, I will give you an airdance in the quickness.

Svelt
05-24-2007, 11:53 AM
Ehhh,

I follow her lead, if she wants my hands somewhere, she will tell me or put them there.

In general the only movement I do is to make room for knees, heels or whatever to go where they need to go.

Inside the club I let the girls control, and I decide.

Outside the club I control and they decide.

I kinda like having the roles reversed.

Lapaholic
05-24-2007, 04:14 PM
Trust me, I'd say 98% of dancers who are giving lapdances do not appreciate your enthusiam. Yes, they may smile and "act" like they are having a good time, but they aren't.

I'm with Corgan, if you are trying to lead my show, I will give you an airdance in the quickness.


To each his own, I guess... But you know for me its about having a good time and its best when the dancer is too. So if she didnt like it and gave me airdances in response, Id not buy another and we would both find what we want. Ya gotta love a free market ..!!!

ANd to be honest if a dancer didnt like it, Id stop ... Not that big a deal but sometimes its fun to move with the lady ... ;D

mr_punk
05-24-2007, 09:01 PM
i hate when a custy tries to control his dance. i'm the one in control, and he should realize that. bossing me around during a LD will result in a shitty one.it does? funny, i can't tell because one doesn't need to control a willing dancer (besides, it sounds like a lot of work to me) and you don't really control customers. but hey, whatever gets you through the shift.

Trust me, I'd say 98% of dancers who are giving lapdances do not appreciate your enthusiam. Yes, they may smile and "act" like they are having a good time, but they aren't.although, it may seem like it. i doubt if it makes a difference to him. it's not about them. it's about him. ultimately, a customer is paying for his own pleasure not a stripper's. it ain't a team sport, princess.

To each his own, I guess... But you know for me its about having a good time and its best when the dancer is too. So if she didnt like it and gave me airdances in response, Id not buy another and we would both find what we want. Ya gotta love a free market ..!!! ANd to be honest if a dancer didnt like it, Id stop ... Not that big a deal but sometimes its fun to move with the lady ...case in point. except, i wouldn't couch it in fuzzy and seemingly warm language. but hey, that's just me.

evan_essence
05-24-2007, 10:11 PM
it does? funny, i can't tell because one doesn't need to control a willing dancer (besides, it sounds like a lot of work to me) and you don't really control customers.Seems you misinterpreted that statement. But I'm sure not deliberately to bust on a female or anything trollish. I believe it was meant to be interpreted that she's in control - of the mileage. Not of the customer. Although, you don't really know that she isn't in control of a few of them, too.


although, it may seem like it. i doubt if it makes a difference to him. it's not about them. it's about him. ultimately, a customer is paying for his own pleasure not a stripper's. it ain't a team sport, princess.I think quite clearly from the statement that he tries to "make it more active for both of us" that it does make a difference to him.


case in point. except, i wouldn't couch it in fuzzy and seemingly warm language. but hey, that's just me.WTF? Are you totally off your PL detection game or do you need a new pair of reading glasses? What part of his statement that "for me its about having a good time and its best when the dancer is too" is fuzzy or makes your case in point that he doesn't care? Well, I get it. Your flawed spin is a result of you hating to side with a stripper in pointing out a customer's fallacy. Either that or you believe that a willing stripper is a pleasured stripper. Nahhhhh. Forgive me; you surely know better than that.

-Ev

Lapaholic
05-25-2007, 05:15 AM
SO I am a PL....??? Thx ev for letting me know ....

I guess Im not as jaded but to me going to a strip bar is about having a good time - for me to have a good time. I merely said its best when the dancer is too; whether its conversing, private dancing or whatever. But in the end it is all about me - that why I am there. I think Mr punk had it right - - again....

Now for moving with the dancer - if its important to me on a given nite - i will move on to another lady... most times I do it for fun and if the dancer reacts indifferently - which has happened also - I stop. Pretty simple and pretty harmless. Sure the dancer is the pro if you will and takes the lead in these things, but even when i get a massage, i tell the masseuse how to proceed. Same thing really No?

A PL - well i knew I was one anyway :-[ . I go to strip bars for Chrissakes !!!

mr_punk
05-25-2007, 06:18 AM
Seems you misinterpreted that statement. But I'm sure not deliberately to bust on a female or anything trollish. I believe it was meant to be interpreted that she's in control - of the mileage. Not of the customer. Although, you don't really know that she isn't in control of a few of them, too.oops, it seems you misinterpreted my statement. i don't go to sc to fight with strippers over mileage. furthermore, you girls really don't control customers. if they did. they wouldn't spend so much time complaining about money. oh yeah, you're 0-1

I think quite clearly from the statement that he tries to "make it more active for both of us" that it does make a difference to him.you don't get it, do you? it only appears that way. LOL..i find it ironic you girls seem to think you're the only people in a sc that can feign. now, you're 0-2.

WTF? Are you totally off your PL detection game or do you need a new pair of reading glasses? What part of his statement that "for me its about having a good time and its best when the dancer is too" is fuzzy or makes your case in point that he doesn't care? Well, I get it. Your flawed spin is a result of you hating to side with a stripper in pointing out a customer's fallacy. Either that or you believe that a willing stripper is a pleasured stripper. Nahhhhh. Forgive me; you surely know better than that.LOL...nope, you still don't get it.

I guess Im not as jaded but to me going to a strip bar is about having a good time - for me to have a good time. I merely said its best when the dancer is too; whether its conversing, private dancing or whatever. But in the end it is all about me - that why I am there. I think Mr punk had it right - - again....0-3. yer out, evan! but hey, look on the bright side. LensCrafters is having a special on prescription eyewear.

lunchbox
05-25-2007, 07:54 AM
taut buttocks
I thought you were a meat on the bone kind of guy...


it makes Italian a lot easier.
You salami hiding son of a gun.

Personally, I don't grind back during a dance, I'll reposition myself under her, but that's it. The way I see it is, I'm paying for a service, I'm not going to subsidize her labors by helping out. If she is not up to the task, I'll find one who is, yes, I'm that lazy.

Anyways, the only thing better than fucking, is getting fucked. I'm not even talking about ass play. I mean you're doing it doggie, and she starts backing into your dick while you hold still, that's way hotter than any kind of pounding you giver her.

mr_punk
05-26-2007, 05:36 PM
I thought you were a meat on the bone kind of guy...LOL..where did you get that impression? it wasn't from from me. i often use words like taut, lean, toned, athletic and low % of body fat, when describing what i look for in a stripper. i don't recall ever using the phrase,"soft, lumpy, gelatinous mass of flesh".

evan_essence
05-26-2007, 08:46 PM
oops, it seems you misinterpreted my statement. i don't go to sc to fight with strippers over mileage.Who said you frickin' did? I never said that. I love it when you respond with something that's a total non-sequitir and then act like I'm the one who can't read what was written.


furthermore, you girls really don't control customers. if they did. they wouldn't spend so much time complaining about money.Never ever? None? That's quite a blanket statement. I qualified my statement by saying "a few of them," didn't I? Do you know what a "few" means? Sheet, if we didn't ever ever any ever, they wouldn't spend so much time complaining about being deceived. What do you think you boys invented the phrase, "break out the popcorn," in response to? There's also a difference between me claiming that you don't know something for sure, which I did, and me claiming that it's outright so, which I did not. Besides, my main claim was that the dancer controls the DANCE. Would you care to address that claim, or would you like to just go right on ignoring my main point in favor of mischaracterizing a side point? That's a rhetorical question, btw.


oh yeah, you're 0-1You realize you're umping in the bush leagues, doncha? Hahaha. I made a punny.


you don't get it, do you? it only appears that way. LOL..i find it ironic you girls seem to think you're the only people in a sc that can feign.Well, if you're right, that can only mean one thing. That he feigns his desire to grind on her to make her feel good about herself. However, I fail to see where he said anything that indicates that. Wow, I guess he's really pulling a fast one pretending that he's having a good time doing something when he's not. And you're okay with that?


now, you're 0-2.
LOL...nope, you still don't get it.
0-3. yer out, evan!Oh well, that last call was actually in response to the fourth swing, with number three not being called at all. Hint: you could have proclaimed the third pitch was tipped foul if it wasn't the 0-3 pitch. But then why should I expect you to be able to call a ballgame any better than you can read.

-Ev

evan_essence
05-26-2007, 08:57 PM
SO I am a PL....??? Thx ev for letting me know ....In the usual judgment of mr_punk, yes, because your pleasure is increased if the dancer is enjoying it. You should not give a damn as long as she isn't stopping you from doing it. Do I really think that? No. I don't even like the term because it's pejorative. I'm sarcastically ragging on him because he's not being consistent with his previous observations. That's because he wants to blast a stripper's post in this thread rather than yours. He's cagey like that.

-Ev

Viewer
05-26-2007, 09:07 PM
I normally hang out on the pink side... Is this what it's normally like here in blue? :O

GenWar
05-26-2007, 09:41 PM
yup...

mr_punk
05-26-2007, 10:33 PM
In the usual judgment of mr_punk, yes, because your pleasure is increased if the dancer is enjoying it. You should not give a damn as long as she isn't stopping you from doing it. Do I really think that? No. I don't even like the term because it's pejorative. I'm sarcastically ragging on him because he's not being consistent with his previous observations. That's because he wants to blast a stripper's post in this thread rather than yours. He's cagey like that.first, you call him a PL. now, it's my fault that you called him a PL and although you say you didn't really mean it. you expect him to believe that i was really the object of your derision. right, i don't know what's funnier. the fact this is one piss poor explanation (or half-assed apology) or that you actually have the nerve to call me cagey? now, that's rich...ROTFLMAO

doc-catfish
05-27-2007, 07:43 AM
Is this what it's normally like here in blue? :O
No. Jenny has yet to chime here.

I'm sure she's busy deciding between using the usual ol' trusty wooden rolling pin versus breaking out her hi-fi ergonomically correct stainless steel one.
:wife:

Or maybe she decided to forgo this one, and send Ev in her place. Who knows. :shrug:

Lapaholic
05-27-2007, 12:14 PM
In the usual judgment of mr_punk, yes, because your pleasure is increased if the dancer is enjoying it. You should not give a damn as long as she isn't stopping you from doing it. Do I really think that? No. I don't even like the term because it's pejorative. I'm sarcastically ragging on him because he's not being consistent with his previous observations. That's because he wants to blast a stripper's post in this thread rather than yours. He's cagey like that.

-Ev

I am confused ... who called me a PL, u or Mr. P ..


Maybe I should stop frequenting clubs , save my money and open that Haberdashery i have always dreamed about ..


Well... maybe one more lap dance ....

FBR
05-27-2007, 12:36 PM
I thought you were a meat on the bone kind of guy...LOL..where did you get that impression? it wasn't from from me. i often use words like taut, lean, toned, athletic and low % of body fat, when describing what i look for in a stripper. i don't recall ever using the phrase,"soft, lumpy, gelatinous mass of flesh".

lunchbox, you might have been thinking of me rather than the punkster. I talk about "some meat on those bones" often and love a shapely and curvy body. Case in point Miss D yesterday afternoon at the RR }:D

Mr_P, OTOH, has always professed to being the type of custy who would summarily dismiss a dancer if her ass wasn't taught enough to ricochet a flinged quarter at least ten feet ;)

FBR

mr_punk
05-27-2007, 04:14 PM
I am confused ... who called me a PL, u or Mr. P ..LOL..hey man, i'm in the same boat. i didn't even know i called you a PL until she told me i did.

Mr_P, OTOH, has always professed to being the type of custy who would summarily dismiss a dancer if her ass wasn't taught enough to ricochet a flinged quarter at least ten feetor if i see excessive rippling when i spank or slap her across the ass.

evan_essence
05-27-2007, 06:05 PM
case in point. except, i wouldn't couch it in fuzzy and seemingly warm language. but hey, that's just me.WTF? Are you totally off your PL detection game or do you need a new pair of reading glasses?Okay, let's go reeeeal slow for you boys. Note that mr_p called Lapoholic's description of getting a lapdance "fuzzy and seemingly warm language." To which, I responded, asking mr_p about "your PL detection game." In other words, asking mr_p, wouldn't you normally be calling him a PL for his viewpoint? Why are you pulling your punches?

Don't bother answering the question though. Just go ahead and obfiscate per normal.

-Ev

Moneywise
05-27-2007, 07:53 PM
No. Jenny has yet to chime here.

I'm sure she's busy deciding between using the usual ol' trusty wooden rolling pin versus breaking out her hi-fi ergonomically correct stainless steel one.
:wife:

Or maybe she decided to forgo this one, and send Ev in her place. Who knows. :shrug:

LOL Yep. This thread aint shit til Jenny chimes in with her usual anti-blue commentary. :)

Hi Ev. :3dglasses

Bridgette
05-28-2007, 03:52 AM
Boys who try to (and the key word here is indeed TRY) move with us, grind back, whatever, during the dance get a crappy dance because you throw off our rhythm and balance. You ALL have shit for rhythm, and your herky jerky convulsive attempts at "grinding back" are, at best, inhibiting us from rubbing you the way you want to be rubbed. Also, it makes you look even more pathetic than the rest of the PLs. So just sit back, relax, and let us do our thing already.

If you think you're actually gaining something by trying to move with us, you're an idiot.

Sectumsempra
05-28-2007, 08:02 AM
I grind back because it's important to me to try to finish before i run out of cash. But I go to high mileage clubs so...

Casual Observer
05-28-2007, 03:25 PM
I normally hang out on the pink side... Is this what it's normally like here in blue?

This thread is off to a tame start, comparatively speaking; the Blue Side is not for the meek and faint of heart, but the real meat of issues can be explored here, if you can tolerate expectations in your posting content and a certain degree of non-ad hominem abuse.

You've been duly warned.


If you think you're actually gaining something by trying to move with us, you're an idiot.

Agreed.

mr_punk
05-28-2007, 05:50 PM
Don't bother answering the question though. Just go ahead and obfiscate per normal.oh no, what would be the point of not answering your question? i would just cheat myself of twisting the knife a bit more. however, i would be careful about flinging accusations of obfuscation. i haven't heard this much double talk since Al Haig was Secretary of State.

Okay, let's go reeeeal slow for you boys. Note that mr_p called Lapoholic's description of getting a lapdance "fuzzy and seemingly warm language." To which, I responded, asking mr_p about "your PL detection game." In other words, asking mr_p, wouldn't you normally be calling him a PL for his viewpoint? Why are you pulling your punches?LOL..but that's the funny part. ironically, all your machinations were for naught because i meant exactly what i said. oh yeah, the "fuzzy and seemingly warm language" remark? i only meant it's a more polite way (in comparison to me) of saying, "it's all about me, biatches!".

evan_essence
05-29-2007, 05:11 PM
i haven't heard this much double talk since Al Haig was Secretary of State.I'll take Politics from My Kindergarten Era for 200, Alex.*

-Ev

* Thanks to Wikipedia for deciphering wtf you were saying. This quote is priceless: "That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude. Also, a tactical misrepresentation."

FBR
05-29-2007, 06:12 PM
If you think you're actually gaining something by trying to move with us, you're an idiot.

Father forgive me for I have sinned. I try not to grind back. Really. But sometimes I just can't help myself. The devil sitting on my left shoulder keeps whispering in my ear "You can hump her just a little...she won't notice". And he's very silver tongued and persuasive }:D

FBR

GenWar
05-29-2007, 08:09 PM
Dude...what do you want?..I was 8. :)

-gen

liberator
05-30-2007, 10:29 AM
Dean Rusk.

doc-catfish
05-30-2007, 03:46 PM
Cordell Hull.

(Well, that was when my parents were in Kindergarten).

Jenny
05-30-2007, 04:51 PM
Father forgive me for I have sinned. I try not to grind back. Really. But sometimes I just can't help myself. The devil sitting on my left shoulder keeps whispering in my ear "You can hump her just a little...she won't notice". And he's very silver tongued and persuasive }:D

FBR
Not notice? Like, just... not notice? That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. How could we not notice?

And you're talking to someone who is so numb at the end of the night that I have to physically watch to notice who's touching me. Even I notice a guy humping me.

Bridgette
05-30-2007, 11:58 PM
LOL FBR, just keep trying to convince yourself we don't notice. And we'll keep re-adjusting so you don't get the rubbin you like :P

FBR
05-31-2007, 02:59 PM
I have a very small penis which is perhaps why my humping thus far has managed to stay under the dancers' radar. I mean, it's possible that they feel a little motion but with nothing substantial poking at their coochies, maybe they figure I'm just shifting because one of my butt cheeks has gone numb.

FBR

mr_punk
06-01-2007, 10:07 PM
It must be an age thing. The first secretary of state I remember was Tip O'Neal.what? Tip O'Neill? LOL..i'm only 6 years older than you, gen. i think you were sleeping in civics class.

* Thanks to Wikipedia for deciphering wtf you were saying. This quote is priceless: "That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude. Also, a tactical misrepresentation."yeah, that's one of his more famous haigisms. unfortunately, unlike bushisms, it there aren't a lot of examples of haigisms on the web, but i did find one here. he was the first grandmaster in the art of political double talk. Donald Rumsfeld was merely a pale imitation. for example, instead of saying "now", Al would say, "at this juncture of maturization". he had all sorts of cute ways of turning a phrase like, "epistemologicallywise" or "caveat my response".

Smokeless
06-02-2007, 04:09 PM
Not notice? Like, just... not notice? That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. How could we not notice? And you're talking to someone who is so numb at the end of the night that I have to physically watch to notice who's touching me. Even I notice a guy humping me.

I don't quite understand this aversion to grinding back. Not you specifically, Jenny. The whole lot of you. When I respond to a dancer, more often than not I get responses like "Thanks", "How come most guys just sit there?" "It's nice to feel alive" "I think I need a cold shower, now." And the like. Either this is all SS to keep me there asking for more dances, and the dancer is lying through the teeth, or she authentically likes it, or she's a kinky slut, or ... whatever. Now, like FBR, I'm not a big guy, but I like to respond and most dancers I patronize say they enjoy dancing for me and show it in other ways. Is it just SW gals that have this aversion? Is it the neighborhood-club sort of atmosphere and friendliness at my club that's the difference?

Jenny
06-02-2007, 04:26 PM
I don't quite understand this aversion to grinding back. Not you specifically, Jenny. The whole lot of you. When I respond to a dancer, more often than not I get responses like "Thanks", "How come most guys just sit there?" "It's nice to feel alive" "I think I need a cold shower, now." And the like. Either this is all SS to keep me there asking for more dances, and the dancer is lying through the teeth,
Well... come on. Like, yah.
I don't generally object to customers humping me, although I don't generally like it either. But - there is humping and there is humping. Like one of the time I actually objected the guy was... like, it's even hard to describe, but he was actually trying to get on top of me. I actually laughed, but not in a friendly way. More in a "this is situational humour that some other people are going to get a real kick out of" kind of laughter.


or she authentically likes it, or she's a kinky slut, or ... whatever. Now, like FBR, I'm not a big guy, but I like to respond and most dancers I patronize say they enjoy dancing for me and show it in other ways. Is it just SW gals that have this aversion? Is it the neighborhood-club sort of atmosphere and friendliness at my club that's the difference?
Well let's see. Do you honestly think that "thanks" is a full hearted response to a humping? I mean, from out point of view. Like "Thank you for the compliment of humping me". Or what? Like "thank you for sexually stimulating me as I dance for you"? They may like you and not mind; or it may be that the way you move is understated enough to not be bothersome.

Lapaholic
06-02-2007, 06:57 PM
<snip>

Well let's see. Do you honestly think that "thanks" is a full hearted response to a humping? I mean, from out point of view. Like "Thank you for the compliment of humping me". ....

Jenny - I dont mean to be quoting u all the time - but seriously, you crack me up!!!

LilyLove
06-02-2007, 09:49 PM
I don't quite understand this aversion to grinding back. Not you specifically, Jenny. The whole lot of you. When I respond to a dancer, more often than not I get responses like "Thanks", "How come most guys just sit there?" "It's nice to feel alive" "I think I need a cold shower, now." And the like. Either this is all SS to keep me there asking for more dances, and the dancer is lying through the teeth, or she authentically likes it, or she's a kinky slut, or ... whatever. Now, like FBR, I'm not a big guy, but I like to respond and most dancers I patronize say they enjoy dancing for me and show it in other ways. Is it just SW gals that have this aversion? Is it the neighborhood-club sort of atmosphere and friendliness at my club that's the difference?

I tell every guy that I dance for that I enjoyed it. I've got lots of great little lines to pull out. I think that making the guy think that you are turned on/are enjoying yourself is part of providing a good service. Kinda like how good waiters at restaurants pretend that they're having an awesome time serving you.

So yeah. Congrats on being on the recieving end of some good SS dude.

SportsWriter2
06-03-2007, 06:40 AM
So yeah. Congrats on being on the recieving end of some good SS dude.

Smokeless, dude, there's more. Grind-back SS also comes in better and best, just like at Sears. Here's some better:

"If I were a guy, I'd be embarrassed to walk across the room now." [articulate POV SS]
"Oh my God, that felt like real sex." [second day dancing, intuitive SS]
"When you do that, I get all retarded" [strip dive friendly SS]
"I never get a clit orgasm from my boyfriend." [all BF complaints are SS]

Here's some best:

"One more, I won't charge you, I just wanna get off." [selfish SS]
Zip.... "I just wanna see it. I won't put it in my mouth." [bad bad SS]
"You're fun. I'll always give you 2for1. Forever." [slow-day SS]

The very best grind-back SS is... a frenzied DFK attack [but still not worth the mono risk] :-\

mr_punk
06-03-2007, 08:59 AM
I don't quite understand this aversion to grinding back. Not you specifically, Jenny. The whole lot of you.<shrug>what do you expect? there's no upside in saying otherwise.

When I respond to a dancer, more often than not I get responses like "Thanks", "How come most guys just sit there?" "It's nice to feel alive" "I think I need a cold shower, now." And the like.really? if i get a get response. it's more along the lines of, "are you going to cum?", "did you cum?" or "do you want me to stop moving?" (which is an indirect way of asking,"did you cum?").

Is it just SW gals that have this aversion? Is it the neighborhood-club sort of atmosphere and friendliness at my club that's the difference?i doubt it. i think the difference is virtual strippers don't have to maintain their virtual reputations ITC.

xdamage
06-04-2007, 08:59 AM
I don't quite understand this aversion to grinding back. Not you specifically, Jenny. The whole lot of you.

Possibly relevant...

I went to Atlantic City last Saturday night to get drunk and gamble. So I'm sitting there at the bar and some drunken escort stumbles up and does her thing. I explain to her thanks, but while she is very attractive, I don't pay escorts at which point she gives the pouty face (similar to the look you get when you say no thanks to "wanna dance?") and acts pissed off. Anyway she wanders off, but then she keeps coming back every few minutes, drunker and drunker, trying to get me to change my mind. At some point she is too drunk to work so she starts telling me her life story. Whoa what drama. As Gen once wrote, 'life is hard enough without drama', but oh well, some people live life in self-destruct mode. Anyway... at some point she ends up telling me that every time she lets a guy fuck her that she doesn't care about she walks away feeling emotionally damaged, but she needs the money, etc. Escort shit? Or truth?

So to the point... Humping in the strip club for $$s is a lot less intimate then fucking for $$s but still, presumably some dancers do feel violated to some degree when customers hump them for $$s. Similar to kissing, it verges on the intimate. When you hump back it becomes even more a matter of violation since they have lost control over who is doing what, and more repulsive for many of them. Not that they are going to tell you this ITC when they are trying to get your $$s, and not that it should necessarily influence your buying habits.

All customers want to feel like they are special, like the dancer really likes them and they are the exception, but you know... while I suppose it does happen from time to time, they practice laying on the SS non stop all day long, day after day, year after year. You're never going to know how they real feel about you or what you are doing to them ITC while their minds are focused on earning $$s. OTOH outside of the club on a forum like this, well as you can see, the truth is most of them don't like it when customers hump them. I prefer to know the truth myself.

mr_punk
06-05-2007, 12:35 PM
So to the point... Humping in the strip club for $$s is a lot less intimate then fucking for $$s but still, presumably some dancers do feel violated to some degree when customers hump them for $$s. Similar to kissing, it verges on the intimate. When you hump back it becomes even more a matter of violation since they have lost control over who is doing what, and more repulsive for many of them. Not that they are going to tell you this ITC when they are trying to get your $$s, and not that it should necessarily influence your buying habits.
they feel violated? LOL. doesn't that explanation invite the question: why are they working there in the first place? i mean, it's like those PLs who say,"you know, i don't really go much or like sc. why, i didn't enjoy the 30 LD in a row i bought each time during my three visits last week". but hey, perhaps sc should issue a PSA/warning for current and prospective strippers to minimize the disconnect. there's a warning label for almost everything, right? so, why not sc.

"WARNING!: the Surgeon General has determined that rubbing on dicks may cause stripper damage. if you cannot handle cock grinding in any form. the Surgeon General recommends that you refrain from working in cock rubbing environments."

xdamage
06-05-2007, 04:32 PM
they feel violated? LOL. doesn't that explanation invite the question: why are they working there in the first place?



It does invite the question...

I'm guessing it's just what it seems to be. Good pay, flexible hours, no particular demanding education or experience required attracts many women to sex work despite the downsides. They balance all those benefits and others against the cost and have decided the balance is in favor of doing it.

Of course most of us do trade off some freedom or something for the sake of our jobs. Hopefully most of us don't feel emotionally traumatized by our work, but few of us love every minute of it.

What is unclear to me is what made the escort I was talking with more upset? That I wasn't going to buy, or that if I did buy she would feel violated after the fact? I'm guessing she has convinced herself that being violated is the lesser stress, or inevitable anyway, so she'd rather have the money now and put up with feeling violated later if that's what it takes. And given how screwed up her life was, and how unlikely it is that she could hold down a regular job, probably she does need the money. Well maybe... she said she is driving an S-class Mercedes, and owns her own home paid for via escorting. It would be really hard to argue that she does the tricks because she is living in a state of poverty. More like she has grown accustomed to a certain level of life style, and she is not qualified or doesn't want to put up with the stress of other jobs that would pay comparably. Let's face it, few of us can make several grand a night in our early 20s. If we get to that point in our career, it's probably more like our 40s after we have paid our dues. Not everyone has the mindset to take the slow road I guess. When you are 20, age 40 seems a LONG LONG LONG way off.

I'm guessing it's the same with strippers. They don't necessarily like everything customers do, but they put up with a lot for the money, even to the point of feeling violated. Personally I wouldn't trade that direction, I'd rather make less money, but everyone weighs things differently.

mr_punk
06-06-2007, 09:12 AM
I'm guessing it's just what it seems to be. Good pay, flexible hours, no particular demanding education or experience required attracts many women to sex work despite the downsides. They balance all those benefits and others against the cost and have decided the balance is in favor of doing it. Of course most of us do trade off some freedom or something for the sake of our jobs. Hopefully most of us don't feel emotionally traumatized by our work, but few of us love every minute of it.okay, but i wouldn't exactly call feeling violated or emotionally traumatized at work the downside of a job. i mean, that's quite an understatement. i don't think many people, despite the benefits, would work or last long in any job. if they always go home feeling anally raped (postal workers excluded). OTOH, if they can cope or adjust to the demands of the job. they probably don't go home feeling ass-raped. which is why i don't buy into the stripper damage theory.

What is unclear to me is what made the escort I was talking with more upset? That I wasn't going to buy, or that if I did buy she would feel violated after the fact? I'm guessing she has convinced herself that being violated is the lesser stress, or inevitable anyway, so she'd rather have the money now and put up with feeling violated later if that's what it takes. And given how screwed up her life was, and how unlikely it is that she could hold down a regular job, probably she does need the money.i think it's the former. you've seen it. strippers get annoyed when customers don't tip at the stage, don't buy dances, try to monopolize their time, cop a feel for free, etc? do you notice the trend? if you really want to make a sex worker feel violated. try not paying her for (or what she thinks) services rendered. an escort trying to hustle a customer in a casino or hotel bar is no different than a sc in the sense that you'll hear SOB stories (crocodile tears included), meet ROBs, and they'll try to establish a false sense intimacy by telling you "personal" details of their life.

More like she has grown accustomed to a certain level of life style, and she is not qualified or doesn't want to put up with the stress of other jobs that would pay comparably. Let's face it, few of us can make several grand a night in our early 20s. If we get to that point in our career, it's probably more like our 40s after we have paid our dues. Not everyone has the mindset to take the slow road I guess. When you are 20, age 40 seems a LONG LONG LONG way off.perhaps, but you can chalk that up to a mix of youth, ignorance and hubris not stripper damage. look, if you give any 20 y.o. with little experience or education a large sum of money, little guidance, easy access to drugs and alcohol, sex, an entourage of sycophants, etc. do you know what you're most likely going to end up with? Lindsay Lohan.

Jenny
06-06-2007, 09:26 AM
they feel violated? LOL. doesn't that explanation invite the question: why are they working there in the first place? Okay. Wow. This might seem really intuitive to some people, but maybe because we expect you to sit STILL and just let us WORK already? I mean - the reason I choose to work in a strip club as opposed to escorting is because of the parameters set up in a strip club. That is - guys have the "right" to understand CERTAIN KINDS of contact have been negotiated when I sell a dance. They do NOT have the right to assume that other kind of contact have been negotiated (absent specific negotiation for those services). So, yes, I have every right to expect you to sit still, not flip me over and try to hump me, not to "just try it and see if she minds". Just sit down, fondle my breasts, keep your bloody pants on and just let me work.

xdamage
06-06-2007, 10:14 AM
... which is why i don't buy into the stripper damage theory.


I'll have to leave it to others to fill in their views.

Personally I'd guess it's just another one of those big grey scales. There is a lot of things I won't do for money, but obviously some will. The other possibility is that there is a certain personality type, the drama oriented type, that gets some twisted pleasure out of feeling violated - feeds into the whole "I'm a victim" mentality which is popular with some. I guess it gives their life meaning, or they re-live some past issue, or it leaves them feeling freed from responsibility (victims ultimately dont have to feel about their decisions because they are victims) /shrug. Of course you could argue that someone that deep down gets a thrill out of being violated really isn't - like the masochist, if it's really pleasurable for them on some level is it really masochism?



i think it's the former.


I'm 99.9% sure you are right.



perhaps, but you can chalk that up to a mix of youth, ignorance and hubris not stripper damage. look,

Yea, the attraction to money, power, and party is understandable, but I'd still say there is a struggle at play.

Jenny's comment of " mean - the reason I choose to work in a strip club as opposed to escorting is because of the parameters set up in a strip club." basically comes down to some people will do somethings for money, but beyond those limits, the deal feels sour to them. For her the SC limits are within her limits but that doesn't mean that some of what happens in the club doesn't exceed those limits leaving her feel violated.

Yet... it seems to be human nature that we will allow our limits to be pushed some. So under some circumstances a stripper may allow a guy to do more for $$s but still feel somewhat violated. As with most things, if she does it long enough she may build a tolerance and what left her feeling violated yesterday hardly affects her tomorrow.

And keep in mind the victim mentality. There is a certain positive side to being a victim just like there is a certain positive side to being a masochist for those who enjoy it. Some people get something out of it so allow it to happen them; getting paid for it sweetens the deal. Where you or I or someone else might just say "no", or very clearly decide we are willing to be violated for a certain sum of $$, not everyone views being violated as within their control, and apparently some enjoy being violated on some level.

Then of course there ae the girls who really have few other choices in life, who don't have the ability (as in education, or emotional stability) to hold down a job where they won't be victimized so put up with it for the $$s. Bt many of the girls on this site that's not the case - they could do other lower paying work just like we all did in our youth, but the attraction of higher pay, flexible hours, and the power have drawn them to the sex business.

I guess I don't really see the stripping thing and feeling violated as mutually exclusive. I can see how strippers end up doing it because the benefits (money, flexibility, party time, power) are so tempting, but that doesn't mean they necessarily like what they have to do for those benefits. Worse, I can also see how some women would get something twisted out of it, a feeding into a twisted world view by putting themselves in a position of being a victim.

/shrug, oh well, we cant' fix all the world's issues, and really for the customer it doesn't matter too much anyway. Bottom line is that most strippers and escorts seem to be far more upset by a customer who doesn't buy then by the one who pushes the boundaries a bit into the realm of what leaves her feeling violated.

mr_punk
06-06-2007, 11:42 AM
Personally I'd guess it's just another one of those big grey scales.i think stripping may exacerbate problems that were present long before stripping. it's like if you have a problem with alcohol. well, working in a bar might not be such a good idea.

Jenny's comment of " mean - the reason I choose to work in a strip club as opposed to escorting is because of the parameters set up in a strip club." basically comes down to some people will do somethings for money, but beyond those limits, the deal feels sour to them. For her the SC limits are within her limits but that doesn't mean that some of what happens in the club doesn't exceed those limits leaving her feel violated.LOL..do you see poor, little jenny as the victim type who'll keep her trap shut and smile while she's being physically violated by the big, bad, mean customer? Or, can you see her spending oodles of time with a customer who trying to monopolize her time, but isn't paying her? i don't. i think one only truly feels violated when one does nothing about it.

Bottom line is that most strippers and escorts seem to be far more upset by a customer who doesn't buy then by the one who pushes the boundaries a bit into the realm of what leaves her feeling violated.well, they do say it's all about the money.

mr_punk
06-06-2007, 11:48 AM
Okay. Wow. This might seem really intuitive to some people, but maybe because we expect you to sit STILL and just let us WORK already?LOL...we? no, YOU might expect customers to sit still and that's fine. obviously, you have some aversion to cocks rubbing back at you. but hey, unlike you, there are girls who don't mind at all. in fact, it's not unusual for them to encourage it. sheesh, talk about a lack of intuition.

That is - guys have the "right" to understand CERTAIN KINDS of contact have been negotiated when I sell a dance. They do NOT have the right to assume that other kind of contact have been negotiated (absent specific negotiation for those services).LOL..i'm sorry, but where did you get the idea this is in contention? no wait, let me guess. you came looking for a fight, right?

So, yes, I have every right to expect you to sit still, not flip me over and try to hump me, not to "just try it and see if she minds". Just sit down, fondle my breasts, keep your bloody pants on and just let me work.no thanks. you don't control me. so, don't even try it. that is my right. you see, i don't have to buy dances from temple virgins who take off their clothes, sit on a customer's lap, rub on their dicks and then act surprised, shocked or become "emotionally traumatized" when he gets sexually excited and his pelvis starts to gyrate. ie: "WTF!? gasp! help! someone please help me! i don't understand! it's...it's moving! why is it moving!? OMFG! i don't think he's wearing underwear either!".