Log in

View Full Version : Who here is Childfree, and why?



Pages : 1 [2] 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

GoldCoastGirl
05-12-2007, 09:52 PM
My turn to contribute. Think of me as you will. These are my beliefs and choices. Agree to disagree okay. ;)

I'm childfree. I wouldn't mind being childless at the same time. honest.

My number one reason for not being a breeder --- it is environmentally abusive to breed. There I said it. Think of me as you will however I honestly don't see the NEED to breed when there are more than enough humans on this planet.

Actually TOO many humans on this planet. Plus do any of you realise the resources ONE child uses in his/her lifetime (lifetime being birth to 18 years of age as such) ??

More land to be used for those babies that eventually become consumers like the rest of us. Less land for those that need it such as the flora and fauna!!!!

Does no one stop and think about the real impact having this ONE child will have on the environment ??

Okay this is a little rant-ish. :P

I'm far from being anti kids. I'm no child hater by a long shot!

I have a certificate III in early childcare education. I did a one year long course and was exposed to alot of under 5s. After learning all about children and how they grow and all the different developmental stages and everything I find them absolutely fascinating! They don't annoy me.

Okay, screaming mis-behaved children annoy the bejesus out of me.

I learnt when I did that course that children were just not for me. I learnt that I would make the best aunty in the world. I also learn that, like cats, children are the best manipulators out there. Kudos to the kids for being so damn good at being manipulative!! ;D They are little geniuses in that regard.

I'm childfree as I knew a long long time ago that my ultimate future and path is more non human animal related in that 'mothering' and 'caring' sense.

Also that childcare course confirmed it all for me. I loved having the children whilst I was there doing my experience part of the course at the child care centres however you know what i enjoyed best about the whole experience: I went home without them in the end. I loved being able to give them back.

Not to mention that due to my own childhood and how my mother was with me I would not make the best parent in the world. When my mother transitioned from this life back in early 1999, it was then it was made plainly and obviously clear to me how many traits of her I had taken on...... and this does not bode well if I did have children. I would be just continuing the cycle of emotional abuse.



eta: i wouldn't hestitate for a second to abort a fetus. It is a parasite and still remains a parasite til the day it dies. We are all parasites to a certain extent...

yeh i have issues with being human and humanity :laughing:

i'm always joking i would make the perfect warlord except the type that gives a crap about the environment (save the flora and fauna whilst exterminating the human species). just my twisted sense of humour about myself :laughing:

There are how many billions and billions of people on this earth? Do we REALLY need one more human on this earth? Honestly. Gosh.

Not breeding may be regarded as selfish. Breeding is also a selfish thing to do imo. You don't need to breed. The human race is not going to suddenly become extinct. Long gone are the days where we NEED to breed. We breed because we WANT to breed... a purely selfish reason.

Being selfish is innate human nature therefore it isn't a bad thing. It is just who we are as animals.

Oh I'm also so pro abortion because animals (just nature overall) does it every day yet when it comes to humans.. it's totally different. why? we are all animals.

GoldCoastGirl
05-12-2007, 09:53 PM
Yea and GCG. I want to hear more IMput...jk input.

I think its empowering to know what one wants or doesnt want.

I was typing my very long contribution to this thread ;D

It took awhile........ :D

christian211
05-12-2007, 10:24 PM
Read the first paragraph of my opening post. It said to please refrain from this stuff. I am not mama-bashing, I am asking about who is childfree.

You are doing the exact same thing that you are blaming others of doing.

Edit: All right, you did acknowledge it. However, you are still being an entitlemoo. I am sorry that you feel excluded by others because you are a parent. However, some of us feel excluded by others because they find it strange that we don't want children. I have come to accept my Childfreedom, and want others to know that there is nothing wrong with not having kids.

I'm not bashing your decision to have kids, am I? No. It's your business, just like it's my business not to have kids. Would you take offense if I said something like, "You're chained down. Give your kids to the orphan train so you can enjoy life," would you take offense? It's the mirror image of you criticizing my choices.



That last comment is just... I don't know. Not worthy.

Seriously... I'm chained down??? You say what you have to girl,... To make yourself superior to others.... Don't have kids, please!!! It will kill your game and life:-\ Not easy. Have fun, ok? I'm out.
And is basically everyone waiting for lm to respond for them??? How 'bout this, you take care of yourself and let others respond at will.

Hatshepsut
05-12-2007, 10:37 PM
I did not mean that it was actually true. It was supposed to give you perspective of what you are saying, and to make you think about how you would respond if I said something similar. It's kind of like how some women will tell you, "Skinny girls are ugly, real women have curves," and it's considered okay to say even though it's an insult. However, if I responded, "You're a lardass," it would be considered an insult. Both are insults, yet one is seen as okay due to entitlement. Please use the perspective of hypocrisy. Don't serve meals that you wouldn't eat.

I'm making myself superior to others? Pot, kettle, black. I respect your choice to have kids. You don't respect mine, and accuse me of being elite about it. I'm sorry that you misinterpret this.

Seriously, Sunshine and AlexxaHex are parents, yet they aren't taking these as personal insults. Then again, they think logically and don't harshly judge around.

GoldCoastGirl
05-12-2007, 10:39 PM
^^^^ No, we're just interested in other peoples' points of view who we know who have a strong opinion on this subject. I know I would have wanted to see what I said because it is well known that I want to be childfree for life.

Please go away. You just do not understand. Agree to disagree damnit. ;D

Hatshepsut
05-12-2007, 11:00 PM
The docs and shrinks tell us to think long and hard about our decision not to have kids. While Childfreedom isn't something to be taken lightly, especially if permanent sterilization is concerned, you should think a hundred times longer and a hundred times harder if you do decide to have a kid. This is because there is no going back, and also because an innocent child is involved.

mermaidnz
05-12-2007, 11:03 PM
for one, i hate kids. their constant screaming, bickering and "mum, mum ,mum,mum,mum,mum,mum,.." twently million times and hour.....god no!

not for me. i have no patience, im far far too selfish to put somone before myself, and kids are expensive. besides, i dont want to get fat, the idea of childbirth scares the living shit out of me.

if i had a kid id want it to have private schooling and plenty of overseas trips to third world countries. that stuff adds up.

right now, id rather a few properties, and enjopy the freedom i have of moving around as i get bored. i will definatly consider adopting an asian baby in about 15 years when im financially set and mature for kids.

i managed to spend $2500 on my friends baby in one week- and the only practical thing she got out of that was a nappy bag.lol. kids are expensive!!!

Lysondra
05-12-2007, 11:11 PM
Where the hell are DottieRebel and LilithMorrigan?

I was in a car accident! What the hell do you want from me?! :P :P :P

I'm childfree because I can't stand to be around children who's parent's don't take care of them or stupid parents in general. Watching the decline of human civilization because people can't take care of their children properly in these days offends me. I'm also childfree because I NOT selfish. I'm SO fricken giving, I'm going to give the zygote a chance to not be abused it's entire life by my anger.

aussiepunkshocker
05-12-2007, 11:13 PM
^^^Having children doesnt mean your automaticly going to get fat and childbirth is a piece of cake. ( Im sure some will disagree with that but right now I dont care.)

Not that Im saying have kids, its just as a feminist and health freak these wrong facts about birthing and pregnancy just irritate me (-:

Darcy Foxx
05-12-2007, 11:15 PM
I have worked with countless girls who have had children at a young age, who now dump their kid with their parents all the time to go out and party, and say things like "I just can't fucking deal with that kid" and talk about how much they regret it and how much better their life would be if it wasn't around and how their son/daughter gets in the way of them having fun. (Please don't take this a personal insult or what-the-fuck-ever because I'm not implying that this applies to every young mother, just many that I've worked with blah blah blah)

I think having a kid you don't want is way worse than making an educated decision to not have children. At least I know I don't want to breed, I think that's a hell of a lot better than all the people out there who have kids and neglect and resent them.

aussiepunkshocker
05-12-2007, 11:20 PM
Well said Darcy, thats so very true.

I also applaud all of the grandparents in the world who help out (-:

GoldCoastGirl
05-12-2007, 11:22 PM
^^^Having children doesnt mean your automaticly going to get fat and childbirth is a piece of cake. ( Im sure some will disagree with that but right now I dont care.)

Not that Im saying have kids, its just as a feminist and health freak these wrong facts about birthing and pregnancy just irritate me (-:

Unfortunately for me, I am my mother in more ways than just personality traits that I have taken on due to living at home for so long and her being a home all that time (she was a stay at home mum)..... I am her in body type as well. My younger brother was blessed with my father's skinniness (sp?) and not being able to put on weight.

I'm not so blessed (as I have learnt thru my life) so pregnancy would ruin me just like it did my mother. As body concious as I am... I would eat like food is going out of fashion. I know me. I know how much I would eat. I know I would definately put on weight.

Yet pregnancy is the least of my concerns and reasons.

The enviornmental one is a big one for me.

The planet is f-ed up as it is with all of us on it and our consumer driven lifestyles that I don't want to add to it anymore than I am already adding to it by being part of this consumer driven society.

Bridgette
05-12-2007, 11:22 PM
I never wanted kids for several reasons:

1. too much responsibility and commitment. I enjoy my freedom way too much to give it up.

2. the leftover feelings from being raised in a shitty, abusive environment. While I don't believe I'd be an abusive parent, I'd rather not risk it.

3. too much sacrifice. I don't want to give up the things I enjoy most in life, and those would have to be the FIRST to go if I had a kid. No thanks.

4. too much financial burden. Raising a kid is soooo expensive. sheesh!


#1 is by faaaaaaarr the biggest reason for me, but the others are important too. In the last year or two I've been re-considering, but I'm still not convinced. That #1 is awfully hard to get past. In the end, I probably won't do it. I'm about to turn 34 so my potential baby-having days are quickly heading in the other direction...

Hatshepsut
05-12-2007, 11:32 PM
Darcy,
I actually read about how this plays a big psychological part in young parents, and why they tend to be young grandparents. There are some people who tend to have children at a young age, and they're not prepared for it, and the grandparents of the child raise it. However, if the young mother becomes a young grandmother, she'll be ready for it that time around. Both the giving of the responsibility to the grandparents and raising the grandchild help them complete psychological task levels.



I think having a kid you don't want is way worse than making an educated decision to not have children. At least I know I don't want to breed, I think that's a hell of a lot better than all the people out there who have kids and neglect and resent them.
Amen, sister, amen. Every child should be wanted. If I was God, I'd impose some form of birth control on everybody, such as simple bioshields in the fallopian tubes or vas deferens. I'd also give everybody the right to breed. However, to remove these bioshields, both parties would have to go to a local office, sign a couple papers stating that they both consent, and have the contraception removed. That way, there would be no unplanned pregnancies, yet no reproductive rights would be intruded upon. Those who could not make the simple effort to sacrifice a lunch break and pay $10 for parking would not have kids, which would hopefully eliminate a very good portion of unwanted kids. Yeah, it's idealistic, but it's my fantasy.

Darcy Foxx
05-12-2007, 11:51 PM
Hah... in a perfect world.

I'm glad this thread was started, it's nice to know there's others who feel the same as me because I am constantly being attacked by friends/workmates about my choice.

It makes me SO mad when I'm talking to people with kids about how I don't want kids, and they roll their eyes and smile knowingly at me and say, "Oh, you'll change your mind when you grow up. You just don't know that you want kids yet, but you definitely will." NO, I will NOT change my mind when I 'grow up'! You don't know me! You don't know what I feel in my heart! Just because you decided to have children, it doesn't mean that I should feel the same way!

There's a girl at work whom I regularly get into arguments with about the subject. She's got 2 kids and is pregnant with her third, and actually had the nerve to accuse me of being "stupid, selfish and WRONG" for not wanting children, because "you are NOT put on this earth to be the best lawyer or doctor, you are put on this earth to procreate. You are wasting your life if you do not have children, it is the best thing anyone will ever experience and you are stupid, selfish and wrong if you do not want them"

aussiepunkshocker
05-13-2007, 12:05 AM
These traits are often more to do with lifestyle patterns / modern living. Weight issues (and a whole host of health issues) are something our ansestors (ie the previous 596 generations (the human race is about 600 generations old)) didnt have to think about, the women had babies, breastfed and their bodies went back to how they were before more or less but thats a whole other ramble, plus I already know the sorts of arguements people have in this debate and quite honestly I cant be arsed.

Also you dont have to repeat the patterns that you were raised with. The fact that you recognise them is a huge step towards not repeating them. Again though I am not suggesting that you have kids!!! ;D

Enviromentally I think the planet can support a much larger population if humans are willing to be sensible about how we live. - Of course we arnt and were fucking this planet right royally. Despite having had a child myself I think yes the less humans the better. However future governments (if not the present also) will promote breeding because they need more cogs in their machine.
I think those of us who do have children do have the responsibility of raising good humans who care about the enviroment etc.

No one has mentioned anything about spirituality yet either. I have said before that I remember my past lives. I remember being a mother to my son before amongst other things. My belief is that some people are meant to be here. Regardless of the mistakes we make or how fucked things are there are always lessons to be learnt. Sometimes this envolves having a child. If you do it good or bad, its all relevant if you believe in reincarnation and karmic life patterns.
For me recognising the bigger picture has made an enormous difference to how I feel about being a parent.

And Im stopping here, lol - I had a very big night out last night / this morning, Im a bit "fuzzy" today so i hope thatmakes some sense! ;D



Unfortunately for me, I am my mother in more ways than just personality traits that I have taken on due to living at home for so long and her being a home all that time (she was a stay at home mum)..... I am her in body type as well. My younger brother was blessed with my father's skinniness (sp?) and not being able to put on weight.

I'm not so blessed (as I have learnt thru my life) so pregnancy would ruin me just like it did my mother. As body concious as I am... I would eat like food is going out of fashion. I know me. I know how much I would eat. I know I would definately put on weight.

Yet pregnancy is the least of my concerns and reasons.

The enviornmental one is a big one for me.

The planet is f-ed up as it is with all of us on it and our consumer driven lifestyles that I don't want to add to it anymore than I am already adding to it by being part of this consumer driven society.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 12:11 AM
You know what I love about this thread? It clears up a lot of misunderstandings from LatinaRose's Pregnant Friends thread, in which Childfree people wanted to vent about how they lose their placenta brained friends who are stuck on Planet Me, and the mothers felt insulted or felt discriminated against or even abandoned. This thread makes people's motives clear. We now know that many people who don't want or even don't like children don't look down on parents, and we know that parents on this board likewise respect our decisions and don't consider themselves entitled to nagging. It shows that many of us respect each others' decisions!

*Gives aussiepunkshocker a big hug and a kiss on the cheek*
*Gives Sunshine73 a big hug and a kiss on the cheek*
*Gives AlexxaHex a big hug and a kiss on the cheek AND tummy*

Darcy, tell that dumb entitlemoo, "Well you see, you're so annoying that I've forever associated mothers with intolerant, snobby, nagging, obnoxious, people. It's all your fault that I don't want kids!"

Paintbaby
05-13-2007, 12:14 AM
^^^^^^^ Gah!! Darcy!!Crazy entitlemoo ranting!

You may want to helpfully point out to her (next time she starts frothing at the mouth) that the people who are TRULY happy and at peace with their choices in life tend NOT to crow and rant at others about how wrong theirs are, when they have chosen differently. Sounds to me like she is just bitter about your freedom, and that maybe she doesn't like being a mommy all that much. But, misery loves company--no doubt she would love to see you knocked up and as trapped as she feels, apparently. Like I said--happy, peaceful people don't lecture others, ESPECIALLY about a decision as personal as child-rearing.

Nautilus
05-13-2007, 12:19 AM
not that it's anyone's business if you do or you don't anyway.

this thread is a good reason why you're better off telling people it's none of their business when the issue comes up. look over there.... monkeys.

needtodance
05-13-2007, 12:19 AM
Childfree because I have too many of my own head issues.

I can't even CONSIDER having a kid, until I'm certain that that kid WONT be scarred from having mommy constantly having panic attacks and bipolar manics and breakdowns.


I know far too many people who were raised by mentally ill parents, who were MASSIVELY fucked up by it.

I could never do that to a kid.


And I have a health condition that would make pregnancy VERY difficult and dangerous

FrustratedBunny
05-13-2007, 12:32 AM
I'm 34 and I don't want kids. I just don't feel maternal. Maybe if I got into a relationship with the PERFECT guy I'd be tempted, but then there is the issue of having the baby grow inside my body and having to give birth to it, all of which freaks me out. I'm terrified of being pregant. I also have enough stretchmarks without having kids and I'm not getting any younger. I'm sure I'd look nasty after having a child. Sorry to sound selfish but I'm just being honest.

I also have hormone problems. I've been told by every doctor I've seen that if I want to get pregant I may have to have fertility treatments. Not only that, but I'd have to discontinue one of the meds I take for PCOS that keeps my hormones under control.

The closest I'd ever come to having a kid is adopting or being a step parent, but that's not really something I want. Can't explain why. I just don't have the urge.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 12:32 AM
^Agreed. The only benefit of growing up with issues-ridden and mentally parents is that I was given many counterexamples. However, not everyone has the gift of self-realization. A lot of people continue the abuse.

jaizaine
05-13-2007, 12:43 AM
Great idea for a thread BTW thanks.

Until I found SW I thought there was something wrong with me and I was a cold hearted person because children annoy me and I truly don't like them at all. Don't get me wrong I would never harm a child and if I saw someone harming a child I would intervene but I have no interest in them. Screaming babies are like nails on the blackboard to me.

I am not saying I will never ever have children but I cant imagine myself havign them at this point or any time soon.

I have had problems with depression and anxiety and I dont know if I would cope with being pregnant emotionally.

I also cannot imagine giving so much of myself and caring to that degree for another human being.

I don't want the burden of being constantly worried about the safety and welfare of a child.

I also love my life how it is right now - being able to do what I want when I want and I think I would resent a child for interferring with that.

Lysondra
05-13-2007, 12:43 AM
You know what shits me? People that tell me I should get pregnant and have babies because 'they can cure cancer!!'

Who's to say the person who almost had the cure didn't get knocked up and was too busy to find the cure after that?

I mean, I could find the cure, but nobody puts faith in me, they put faith in a zygote over me? Great.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 01:01 AM
Your kids are more likely to end up in jail then they are to become a doctor.

jaizaine
05-13-2007, 01:09 AM
On a side note I knew this thread could not exist without someone having to do something that the OP said not to do. You just couldn't help yourself could you? To infer that the OP started this thread because she needs to justify her own decision really highlights your ignorance and lack of insight on the matter.

You had a kid good for you. This thread is not for u maybe u could start one and argue all u like in it. This thread is for like-minded women to discuss the issue. I personally find it interesting to read other people's reasons which range from not liking children, liking your life as it is, to not further damaging the planet and also not wanting to pass on genetic conditions. So please refrain from any more irrelevant posts they really don't add anything. There are women such as Aussie that are mums but can still understand that the purpose of the thread was not to be anti-child.

aussiepunkshocker
05-13-2007, 01:11 AM
Funny how cancer didnt exist / was extremely rare not so long ago and now the rates are rapidly frowing so fast that if they continue to climb pretty soon almost everyone can expect to get cancer. Hmm someones children have been neglecting their responsibilities >points finger accusingly at everyone here and everyones parents and parents parents< ;D

Thats a really crap reason for having a child. If people are so worried about curing cancer maybe they should read up about it themselves.


You know what shits me? People that tell me I should get pregnant and have babies because 'they can cure cancer!!'

Who's to say the person who almost had the cure didn't get knocked up and was too busy to find the cure after that?

I mean, I could find the cure, but nobody puts faith in me, they put faith in a zygote over me? Great.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 01:15 AM
^I read about this in Pediatrics. Most of it has to do with the fact that there were a lot of undiscovered conditions that turned out to be cancer (like blood cancers). Also, a lot more kids died in decades past. The rise in cancer also has to do with people living long enough to get cancer.

Darcy Foxx
05-13-2007, 01:17 AM
You know what shits me? People that tell me I should get pregnant and have babies because 'they can cure cancer!!'


Yep, and there's a much greater chance that your kid will GET cancer.

That's another big reason I don't want kids. I don't ever want to put myself in a position where I might have to face having a deformed or disabled or mentally retarded child, and I don't want to have to potentially deal with having a child with luekemia or cancer. I just can't handle that, I don't want that burden and stress put on my life.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 01:19 AM
On a side note I knew this thread could not exist without someone having to do something that the OP said not to do. You just couldn't help yourself could you? To infer that the OP started this thread because she needs to justify her own decision really highlights your ignorance and lack of insight on the matter.

You had a kid good for you. This thread is not for u maybe u could start one and argue all u like in it. This thread is for like-minded women to discuss the issue. I personally find it interesting to read other people's reasons which range from not liking children, liking your life as it is, to not further damaging the planet and also not wanting to pass on genetic conditions. So please refrain from any more irrelevant posts they really don't add anything. There are women such as Aussie that are mums but can still understand that the purpose of the thread was not to be anti-child.

Jaizaine, she actually really did a very nice thing for us: She showed us exactly how annoying, intolerant, illogical, and rude entitlemoos are. She's showing us a fairly good example of some of the people who we Childfree have to deal with. She shows that she feels that certain requests and rules don't apply to her, that motherhood gives her special privileges to impose on others. Without people like her, we wouldn't be able to appreciate how wonderful moms like aussiepunkshocker, AlexxaHexx, and Sunshine73 are.

jaizaine
05-13-2007, 01:20 AM
hehe entitlemoo - I love it!

I knew there would be one. I wanted to ignore it but it pissed me off and i couldnt/:O

aussiepunkshocker
05-13-2007, 01:28 AM
Im aware of that viewpoint. I dont buy it personally - alot of people dont but thats a whole other story.
Im not sure if you've noticed this yet but I am not a fan of orthodax medicine :)



^I read about this in Pediatrics. Most of it has to do with the fact that there were a lot of undiscovered conditions that turned out to be cancer (like blood cancers). Also, a lot more kids died in decades past. The rise in cancer also has to do with people living long enough to get cancer.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 01:31 AM
Just keep in mind that just because statistical rates rise doesn't mean that are occurring more often. In many things like mental illnesses and high cholesterol, it just so happens that they've increased the spectrum or that the diseases have been discovered or that they've changed the ranges or even the definition.

Dottie Rebel
05-13-2007, 01:39 AM
Sorry Hatshepsut!! Here I come!!!

Why am I childfree...oh, let me count the ways. Most of my reasons have been discussed already.

Mostly, the reason I don't want to have kids is that I don't feel a crazy, passionate, burning desire to have them. And, lacking such a desire, NO ONE should create and raise a human being. Period.

Asshat one-night stand didn't pull out? You and the boyfriend "oopsed"? Your parents want grandkids? All your friends are having them? You just thought it was what you were supposed to do? These are crappy freaking reasons to have a kid.

Unless you are chomping at the bit to throw yourself headlong into the task of raising a human being as deliberately as possible and loving it with all your energy, do not have one. I know some parents who fit into this category, but they are, pitifully, a minority.

When my husband met me he thought he wanted kids. Well, turns out he didn't *want* kids, he just always assumed he'd have them. Because "that's what you do". Over the years he came to realize that's an insanely crappy reason to do so.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 01:47 AM
^Welcome to the thread! Better late than never.

She actually wasn't lecturing on how Childfree are evil, she was accusing others of mama-bashing and accused me of having delusions of superiority and failed to see how her posts were a lot of unsolicited pot calling the kettle black.

jaizaine
05-13-2007, 01:49 AM
Sorry to change topic but WTF is an asshat? Im picturing like a hat on someone's ass.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 01:51 AM
Someone who has his head up his ass, and therefore wears it like a hat.

jaizaine
05-13-2007, 01:52 AM
:laughing: :laughing:

Dottie Rebel
05-13-2007, 01:56 AM
I think the intrusion of the entitlemoo brought up a lot of great points--several of which you've already mentioned, Hatshepsut.

I find it interesting that she intruded into a conversation where her input was not wanted to insist that YOU are effusively arguing your point in order to get some validation for your unfulfilling and unwomanly choice. Maybe she's the one who needs the validation?

I also was really put off by her first post in this thread, in which she says something along the lines that it is hard for women to do the "balancing act" of family, career, personal life, etc. but "with practice" you can "have it all"--as if we've eschewed motherhood because we are too frightened and weak-willed to take on this fundamental pillar of womanly life. Smacks of martyrdom and superiority.

jaizaine
05-13-2007, 01:58 AM
^^^
so do her posts in other threads tho. She is one of those people who will just keep arguing and cannot except that other people are entitled to their opinions.

Oh well.

Darcy Foxx
05-13-2007, 01:59 AM
Perhaps these entitlemoos need to consider that 'having it all' may mean different things to different people. We all have our individual values and desires, and to some people, children may not be a part of that 'all'

Dottie Rebel
05-13-2007, 02:02 AM
^^Exactly!

aussiepunkshocker
05-13-2007, 02:03 AM
It doesnt mean theyre not either.
Shall we just agree to disagree :)
Quite honestly I dont really care about other peoples health or lack of anymore as harsh as it sounds. I throw in my 2 cents worth here and there, people can follow things up if they wish. I stand by what I say regardless of how much "evidance" the orthodox viewpoint has. I wanted to be a Dr from the age of 4 until about 14 - I am not about to change my mind back again for so many reasons I have read about, observed and experience since then and before then.

But anyway lets not stray from the subject too much!


Just keep in mind that just because statistical rates rise doesn't mean that are occurring more often. In many things like mental illnesses and high cholesterol, it just so happens that they've increased the spectrum or that the diseases have been discovered or that they've changed the ranges or even the definition.

Embyr
05-13-2007, 02:11 AM
I am childfree mostly because I still think of myself as very childlike in many aspects... as in, no major career, no house, haven't yet finished my bachelor's degree, etc... therefore "adulthood"/"womanhood" and all it implies hasn't really kicked in yet. I don't have any major inclination to breed, and though I love and am fascinated by children, I would be too frightened to bring my own into the world... too many bad things run in my family.

The fact is that most women I know with long-term eating disorders have not given birth to the healthiest children... health problems, learning disabilties, etc... not to mention the fact that the pregnancy weight would push me over the edge. ED's/addictions are genetic too... and I would NEVER put any child through what I have endured.

Honestly, it would be selfish of me to have children. I would, though, consider adoption much further down the line... I do have a maternal instinct and a desire to be a good parent. However, this would not be until I was 100&#37; stable- financially, professionally, geographically, and perhaps relationally/matrimonially. However, I could AlSO see myself living childfree forever, and being completely content. I don't believe children are the missing piece of the puzzle, the necessary legacy, the token of a person to be left to the world.

Plus, society doesn't look very kindly upon prego women riding motorcycles, and I don't feel like giving that up. :P

terrific thread, btw.

Hatshepsut
05-13-2007, 02:30 AM
I think the intrusion of the entitlemoo brought up a lot of great points--several of which you've already mentioned, Hatshepsut.

I find it interesting that she intruded into a conversation where her input was not wanted to insist that YOU are effusively arguing your point in order to get some validation for your unfulfilling and unwomanly choice. Maybe she's the one who needs the validation?

I also was really put off by her first post in this thread, in which she says something along the lines that it is hard for women to do the "balancing act" of family, career, personal life, etc. but "with practice" you can "have it all"--as if we've eschewed motherhood because we are too frightened and weak-willed to take on this fundamental pillar of womanly life. Smacks of martyrdom and superiority.
Wow, very observant, very good points. Kudos on translating the illogical, condescending lowings of an entitlemoo. Hmm... I wonder if you can interpret guyspeak or monosyllabic gruntspeak as well.

Dottie Rebel
05-13-2007, 03:25 AM
Hmmmm...possibly. Although I specialize in entitlemoo lowings. :)

flickad
05-13-2007, 04:24 AM
I am childfree because:

1) The idea of maternity repulses me.
2) I am studying to enter a demanding profession, the practice of which will be much easier if I remain unburdened by spawn.
3) I rather enjoy being free of stretchmarks and loose skin, and I'd like to keep things that way.
4) I don't enjoy children.
5) I see no point in reproduction.
6) I think the maternal bargain is a poor one. You give up almost your entire life for very little reward.
7) I just can't hack the idea of a small creature coming out of my vagina.
8 ) Babies simply make me ill.
9) There are a number of genetic tendencies in my family that I would consider it unconscionable to pass on. A side issue for me (as I don't want kids regardless), but it's there.

Not at all PC, but that's how it is.

flickad
05-13-2007, 04:43 AM
Hah... in a perfect world.

I'm glad this thread was started, it's nice to know there's others who feel the same as me because I am constantly being attacked by friends/workmates about my choice.

It makes me SO mad when I'm talking to people with kids about how I don't want kids, and they roll their eyes and smile knowingly at me and say, "Oh, you'll change your mind when you grow up. You just don't know that you want kids yet, but you definitely will." NO, I will NOT change my mind when I 'grow up'! You don't know me! You don't know what I feel in my heart! Just because you decided to have children, it doesn't mean that I should feel the same way!

There's a girl at work whom I regularly get into arguments with about the subject. She's got 2 kids and is pregnant with her third, and actually had the nerve to accuse me of being "stupid, selfish and WRONG" for not wanting children, because "you are NOT put on this earth to be the best lawyer or doctor, you are put on this earth to procreate. You are wasting your life if you do not have children, it is the best thing anyone will ever experience and you are stupid, selfish and wrong if you do not want them"


I'm 28. Ten years ago, people were telling me I'd want kids in ten years. Now, people are still saying I'll want kids in ten years. I wonder if they'll still say it in another ten years?

Either way, it drives me batty. I think I know my own mind better than anyone else does, and to imply otherwise is just patronising.

GoldCoastGirl
05-13-2007, 05:15 AM
^I read about this in Pediatrics. Most of it has to do with the fact that there were a lot of undiscovered conditions that turned out to be cancer (like blood cancers). Also, a lot more kids died in decades past. The rise in cancer also has to do with people living long enough to get cancer.

Nature has to contain us somehow that's how I see cancer and every other 'disease' on this planet that can possibly kill a human. It is the same ol same ol ... nature just trying her damn hardest to keep us in check however we seem to always want to outsmart her. We live longer now so we have the possibility of having more children and what-not...

I think we all know how the story goes. Menopause is a rather 'modern' thing as alot of women didn't live long enough due to being breeders or just due to the medical profession etc at the time.

This is why I choose not to breed. I'm doing my bit to help Mother Nature contain the ever expanding population and strain on resources. Most of our resources are finite not infinite.

I just finished watching Grey's Anotomy (sp?) and it was an episode involving the baby section of the hospital ... and I just didn't "feel" into it in that part. I couldn't feel anything for the baby like the story wanted me to feel. Whereas if the same situation happened with an animal, I'd be bawling my eyes out.

Hey, I'm the girl that cried heaps when in The Green Mile the mouse was stamped upon by that evil bastard prision guard. I always cried more about animal deaths than I did human ones.



I'm 28. Ten years ago, people were telling me I'd want kids in ten years. Now, people are still saying I'll want kids in ten years. I wonder if they'll still say it in another ten years?

Either way, it drives me batty. I think I know my own mind better than anyone else does, and to imply otherwise is just patronising.

I'm in the exact same situation. Exact. 28 going on 29 years of age. I did that childcare course I spoke about the first year I was out of High School so I was 18 years of age by that time. You betcha they were saying the same thing back then. I'm going into my 30s soon and I don't see them stopping saying it anytime soon until I finally hit menopause.

Then I can at least say "ah, now I can't change my mind... I'm going thru menopause.. I can't have kids ever again" YAY!! Okay menopause is horrid yet the possibility of not having kids ever again is a great one.

GoldCoastGirl
05-13-2007, 05:24 AM
Perhaps these entitlemoos need to consider that 'having it all' may mean different things to different people. We all have our individual values and desires, and to some people, children may not be a part of that 'all'

Having it all for me means:

* A successful animal based business such as a vet clinic providing me with a stable, secure (enough) income. Thus I feel productive. I like being "in business".

* Income as well as assets thru my investments - property investments, off-shore investments.

* Being able to afford without any stress all my living expenses as well as the mortgage on a nice acerage property - house and some decent space around me not just a small backyard.

* Being able to devote myself to being a foster carer for kittens, puppies, cats and dogs especially pallative care.... as well as a native wildlife rehabilitor for wombats and various other natives.

Yup. That is what "having it all" is for me.

Now. Where do children fit into this picture? There isn't any room nor do I want to budge and make room. Hell no! ;D