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View Full Version : I know we're not supposed to go out w/ Regulars...



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Jenny
05-18-2007, 09:47 AM
I do see your point, but then again, not really. Guys who spend big bucks in the VIP would also like to feel like they are putting us under an obligation to them. Basically, the ones who want to sleep with you will leverage any little bit they can to get you in their drawers. Not to understand that would also be naive. I actually don't see a huge, huge difference between letting a guy spend money on you ITC in the hope that you will one day sleep with him and letting the same guy spend the same money with the same hope OTC. The biggest concerns to me would be safety and whether or not one wants to blur the lines between one's personal and professional life to that extent.
Um... not so much, I don't think. I mean, yes, customers and guys can be weird (in every industry, not just ours) but as long as you are being paid for a service you are within the confines of a professional relationship (i.e. he pays for a service; you are not just expecting free money to show up). Like some guys who buy one $20 dance feel that I really ought to date them, sleep with them, marry them and have their children because of that. But that is just their own irrationality. When you are going on paid dates - it isn't quite as irrational. In a nutshell - as I've said - I don't believe in getting something for nothing. I just don't believe in it. I really, really think that if you want money you should just work for it. In the long run it is the best way.

I do realize that CK is an adult and that she can run her affairs as she wishes, and it isn't a moral or ethical indictment of girls who do it. Just my perspective, my reasoning. I actually have another simpler reason. I don't want to work when I'm not working. I tend to get irritated with guys who insist on seeing outside the club because I'm like "Look. I spend hours a night trying to entertain you fucking people, so worked up and wired that my hands tremble. I'm so focussed on being amusing that I sometimes even forget that I don't like you until the end of the night when I have a headache. And now you want my days too? Fuck you. No fucking way. I do need some hours in a week where I'm not treated like a trained pet monkey." (In case you are wondering, I have never used those actual words to the customers). They really don't realize that for me, talking to them is work and effort, and that I might not want to work on my time off for no other reason than I want the time off. These freaks fucking exhaust me.

xoxoGracexoxo
05-18-2007, 11:46 AM
^^Sure. And I myself don't go do the OTC thing (I posted the one exception higher up) for basically the same reasons -- I like to keep the club at the club. Still, I would argue that many girls who go on paid dates are still performing the same professional service -- being entertaining and looking pretty -- that you and I provide at the club. They *are* working, and the customer has an understanding that what they're doing is work, or he wouldn't be paying for it. Admittedly, the boundaries are fuzzier, and girls who go OTC probably have to juggle their customer's emotions more carefully. Still, is it really just "money for showing up"? Like, do they just show up in their sweatpants with unbrushed teeth and bitch the whole time about how bored they are or are they putting forth some effort?

Many, many years ago, before "escorting" became synonimous with prostitution, men used to pay "escorts" for their time and companionship. Strippers that do OTC are basically entering the same arrangement, it seems to me.

I'm in no way saying that you're wrong for not wanting to go OTC. I don't want to, either, in the vast majority of cases. We all have to draw our own boundaries of what is and isn't part of the job, and what we can and can't be paid to do. But I think we should be cautious about stating categorically that this or that activity isn't "really" a job. People say the same thing about dancing. Most people beleive that all we do is show up and take our clothes off. They don't think about all the work and thought we put into providing good company for social retards who don't know how to talk to girls. In most people's minds, what we do is just "money for nothing."

KentuckyMysteryMan
05-18-2007, 12:30 PM
Xoxogracexoxo, so you pretty much confirmed what I thought, that it could hardly ever be a situation where a stripper was truly interested in a guy for the real him, instead of his money, or gifts, that came to the strip club, that you went out with OTC. It is just mainly about "compensation", as you put it. Thanks for clearing that up.

Callyish
05-18-2007, 12:45 PM
Xoxogracexoxo, you are pretty much confirmed what I thought, that it could hardly ever be a situation where a stripper was truly interested in a guy for the real him, instead of his money, or gifts, that came to the strip club, that you went out with OTC. It is just mainly about "compensation", as you put it. Thanks for clearing that up.


Again I repeat please read this 95% of your posts have been in the dancers area ::)

PaigeDWinter
05-18-2007, 12:51 PM
Xoxogracexoxo, you are pretty much confirmed what I thought, that it could hardly ever be a situation where a stripper was truly interested in a guy for the real him, instead of his money, or gifts, that came to the strip club, that you went out with OTC. It is just mainly about "compensation", as you put it. Thanks for clearing that up.

Yeah because we strippers can't make friends like the rest of the population. :dunce: The regular I posted about seeing OTC so much? We're pals. He buys me dinner, I buy him dinner, he buys me drinks, I buy him drinks, etc... It is VERY possible, and rather common, for a dancer to become friends with someone in the club.

velvet
05-18-2007, 12:55 PM
yep, i have two good regs whom i see otc for dinners all the time and yes i consider them friends. they still spend too. if they come to the club they know im at work. like tina said way back on page one. if they are A regulars and understand your terms there is nothing wrong with it.

Mily
05-18-2007, 02:10 PM
^^Maybe one day a regular would be able to earn my trust and I will go out with him OTC and just have fun as friends...but it would take a llloooonnnggg time for that to happen. Glad to hear you gals have been lucky. :)

FemmeFatale
05-25-2007, 10:51 AM
yep, i have two good regs whom i see otc for dinners all the time and yes i consider them friends. they still spend too. if they come to the club they know im at work. like tina said way back on page one. if they are A regulars and understand your terms there is nothing wrong with it.

Hey velvet! Miss you much!

Just curious...how long were they your regulars before you started seeing them otc for dinners and that kind of thing?

velvet
05-26-2007, 12:28 PM
miss you too!
a long time and alot of money!

ediblecrayonz
06-09-2008, 08:26 AM
I'm married to a former customer, and although I voted yes, and I'd do it again, I probably won't because he won't be too happy about it.

Julie, Julie
06-10-2008, 12:33 AM
I am very curious about how an OTC arrangement is made...
guys ask us out all the time, regulars and non-regulars. But when you accept, is HE the one who has offered to pay for your OTC time, automatically? And if so, how does he say it? "Let's go shopping, baby!" ? Or, "will you come with me to this dinner, and I will give you xyz amount of money?"
Or do you guys request the $$ after the proposition to spend time together OTC is made by him? If so, how do you say THAT? "Mmmkay, but I have an hourly rate, honeybuns..."
Or do you just go with him since you like him so much, assuming he will pay you, because you know that he is loaded?

Sure, I've been asked by regulars to see them OTC, but money never came up.

CuriousSeeker
06-10-2008, 10:40 AM
If you have a GOOD regular, the A type, phone conversations and an occasional lunch are par for the course.

I feel dumb and unaware. I thought SCs prohibited this stuff and could fire you for it since it's money being spent otc?

JDanielle
06-10-2008, 11:15 AM
I have two regulars that I go out to lunch with fairly often, sometimes to an art museum or something.

I knew them both for quite some time before they even got my number. They are both older guys who don't play games, don't push my boundaries, and don't make me work very hard for money in the club. One of them I really like spending time with, even though he is very eccentric.

I always keep in mind the possibility that they could go batshit without warning. I always have my own ride, never find myself alone with them, and neither of them know any of my real personal information. Right now, I am happy with the arrangement and will continue until they a) decide to call it off or b) get weird and I have to stop.

As for Cinnamon's situation...I would always be more careful with the ones who claim to actually be in love with you. I probably would not see anyone OTC after they professed such strong feelings - it would not feel right to me, and 'love' can make a guy do crazy things.

eta:
I feel dumb and unaware. I thought SCs prohibited this stuff and could fire you for it since it's money being spent otc?

I can only speak for the clubs I worked at. Their policies stated that it was a firing offense for a girl to meet a guy OTC. But as long as girls weren't hopping into customer's cars as soon as they got off work, they took no action.

lilac666
07-10-2008, 12:19 AM
Um... not so much, I don't think. I mean, yes, customers and guys can be weird (in every industry, not just ours) but as long as you are being paid for a service you are within the confines of a professional relationship (i.e. he pays for a service; you are not just expecting free money to show up). Like some guys who buy one $20 dance feel that I really ought to date them, sleep with them, marry them and have their children because of that. But that is just their own irrationality. When you are going on paid dates - it isn't quite as irrational. In a nutshell - as I've said - I don't believe in getting something for nothing. I just don't believe in it. I really, really think that if you want money you should just work for it. In the long run it is the best way.

I do realize that CK is an adult and that she can run her affairs as she wishes, and it isn't a moral or ethical indictment of girls who do it. Just my perspective, my reasoning. I actually have another simpler reason. I don't want to work when I'm not working. I tend to get irritated with guys who insist on seeing outside the club because I'm like "Look. I spend hours a night trying to entertain you fucking people, so worked up and wired that my hands tremble. I'm so focussed on being amusing that I sometimes even forget that I don't like you until the end of the night when I have a headache. And now you want my days too? Fuck you. No fucking way. I do need some hours in a week where I'm not treated like a trained pet monkey." (In case you are wondering, I have never used those actual words to the customers). They really don't realize that for me, talking to them is work and effort, and that I might not want to work on my time off for no other reason than I want the time off. These freaks fucking exhaust me.

LOL! U sound like me! Really, I love my days off..that is really why I don't do it. If I wanted to feel like working and making money I'd just go to work!

i.breathe.in
07-10-2008, 12:23 AM
ive done it 2 times. one was my regular for 3 years who payed off my credit card and was just in general a great guy. we would meet for lunch sometimes. nothing more.

the other was a guy i met and fell in love with. the relationship lasted 4 months and i ended it. just wasnt working out for me.

veronicachick
07-10-2008, 12:49 AM
ive done it 2 times. one was my regular for 3 years who payed off my credit card and was just in general a great guy. we would meet for lunch sometimes. nothing more.

the other was a guy i met and fell in love with. the relationship lasted 4 months and i ended it. just wasnt working out for me.

had it been a friend outside of the SC(not a regular or customer... just a regular friend)... and they offered to pay your credit card would you have accepted the offer?

at the club I feel like I am working for my money. so I feel ok because it's earned. If a customer offers to buy me expensive things... or pay my bills simply because he's just that nice... it's weird to me and I wouldn't accept it. Just like I wouldn't let a friend randomly pay my bills.... I wouldn't let a customer either.

I'm not judging you... or knocking you for it. to each their own... I just stay away from meeting regulars outside of the club... much less accepting money they just feel like giving away.

cinammonkisses
07-10-2008, 02:52 AM
I am very curious about how an OTC arrangement is made...
guys ask us out all the time, regulars and non-regulars. But when you accept, is HE the one who has offered to pay for your OTC time, automatically? And if so, how does he say it? "Let's go shopping, baby!" ? Or, "will you come with me to this dinner, and I will give you xyz amount of money?"
Or do you guys request the $$ after the proposition to spend time together OTC is made by him? If so, how do you say THAT? "Mmmkay, but I have an hourly rate, honeybuns..."
Or do you just go with him since you like him so much, assuming he will pay you, because you know that he is loaded?

Sure, I've been asked by regulars to see them OTC, but money never came up.

He'd basically been asking for dinner dates for about a year. I saw him for almost 3yrs. I decided to take him up on his offer. I said something like, "hey you know I was thinking about that restaurant you're always thinking about taking me to. I think we should check it out tonight...but I have to work tonight"

He wanted to know how much would it take to go out to dinner and a movie..I told him $500-$600 something like that. We went to dinner, I got sleepy and I went home. All for an hour of my time.

I went to lunch with him maybe a year ago..he spent like $1K in VIP time with me.

It was good..we had a great time. BUT He had some stalkerish/obsessive tendancies and I wasnt' about to risk my life over those $1K nights from him. But boy do I miss his $$$$ :D

MiragePDX
07-11-2008, 03:06 PM
I offer to meet regulars at OTHER strip clubs on my days off to enjoy the show and/or meet some of his other favorite dancers.

It's a cool way for them to feel like they "know" me... and get to see me in street clothes. Plus, I love tipping dancers and picking up new ideas for stage performance.

It keeps them in customer mode, to some extent. I feel this is less likely to detract from them spending on me ITC later.

bellasera
07-11-2008, 05:01 PM
I offer to meet regulars at OTHER strip clubs on my days off to enjoy the show and/or meet some of his other favorite dancers.

It's a cool way for them to feel like they "know" me... and get to see me in street clothes. Plus, I love tipping dancers and picking up new ideas for stage performance.

It keeps them in customer mode, to some extent. I feel this is less likely to detract from them spending on me ITC later.

That's an awesome idea, for many reasons!!

kitana
07-11-2008, 06:52 PM
this is why customers act like you're -supposed- to go out to dinner with them.

because a lot of girls -do-.

*sigh*

IMO meeting a customer outside the club makes it an entirely different relationship.

I disagree. We are in a social business; other professions have business luncheons, why not us as well?

I have guys all the time ask me to go out with them at work, if I have a good vibe and they have the cash, I will meet them at the casino to gamble. That way, I feel safe (more cameras and security there than damn near ANYWHERE else), and we both have fun, and it fosters a good ITC relationship an they spend more.

I didn't ever used to do it but now, why not? I also play golf with a few regs, and we have a BALL, lol.

i.breathe.in
07-11-2008, 06:55 PM
had it been a friend outside of the SC(not a regular or customer... just a regular friend)... and they offered to pay your credit card would you have accepted the offer?

at the club I feel like I am working for my money. so I feel ok because it's earned. If a customer offers to buy me expensive things... or pay my bills simply because he's just that nice... it's weird to me and I wouldn't accept it. Just like I wouldn't let a friend randomly pay my bills.... I wouldn't let a customer either.

I'm not judging you... or knocking you for it. to each their own... I just stay away from meeting regulars outside of the club... much less accepting money they just feel like giving away.

no not a friend, i wouldnt allow that. to me it was work with that custie, i talked him into it. he had payed off cars for girls and bought implants before so i knew it wouldnt be a big deal.

he was the only one i ever did aside from the guy i met and dated. and like i said we didnt go do much i would just go meet him for lunch on occasion. i made at least 2 grand a month off this guys for a steady 3 years.

SadieN
07-12-2008, 06:50 AM
I've done this with two different customers, the one is now a good friend of mine and he pretty much pays me just to hang out every once in a while. The other one, was my first regular, and it was alright and good money but I did push my boundaries. Would I do it again, it totally depends on who, when and where.