View Full Version : What the hell is in the water?!
Darling
05-24-2007, 03:55 AM
I'm not saying that being/having freinds is bad! And many girls who have over 1000 posts do not feel as if there are part of the "group", as stated above. Noone is particulary mean in the "Clueless" sense, but there are certain friendships that I see many of the newer or less vocal girls having a hard time penatrating. I don't really care myself all that much, but when Cally posted that she thought everyone was more negative that usual, this is one of the main reasons (I think). Stop ganging up on what I said, and try to understand.
PaigeDWinter
05-24-2007, 04:26 AM
I'm not saying that being/having freinds is bad! And many girls who have over 1000 posts do not feel as if there are part of the "group", as stated above. Noone is particulary mean in the "Clueless" sense, but there are certain friendships that I see many of the newer or less vocal girls having a hard time penatrating. I don't really care myself all that much, but when Cally posted that she thought everyone was more negative that usual, this is one of the main reasons (I think). Stop ganging up on what I said, and try to understand.
I am far from ganging up on you. Your "Annnnnnddddd, the clique rolls in." was a bit rude IMHO, and I was curious as to how we are cliquish. I make friends with whoever wants to BE friends, new old, many posts, few posts. If a new poster here wants to join in on the goofiness or the chatter or whatever, that's groovy! Having a hard time penetrating a friendship? It's just like making friends anywhere else. Say hi, talk to folks, be social. Not all that hard, really... I brought up those movies because they had straight up cliques in them. A group of tight knit friends who often refuse to include others and/or look down upon said others. That's really not how most of us roll around here. I love making new pals here, and many others here do too. I mean, I was a newb here once, and I made friends. A lot of the gals here I adore were newbs and I didn't block them out or deny them a chance to chatter along with me. I am really failing to see any major clique-ness here or how our friendships and socialization is causing the uprising in drama. I see threads that have a better chance of inciting flamey-ness compared to most, but that really has nothing to do with who is friends with so-and-so, etc... Hell, some of my best pals on here do NOT have the same ideals/ideas/feelings/opinions as I do. If we were a clique, in the basic sense of it, we'd be ganging up and always agreeing with each other, IMHO, and it just isn't happening.
I'm sorry if you feel that my responses are "ganging up on you", but they really aren't. I cannot see the cliques you think are here. That's all.
If any girls don't feel included, I really wish I could snap my fingers and they'd magically feel included! I, for one, am not trying to keep them from being as chummy as some of us are.
Kaylinn
05-24-2007, 05:29 AM
Here's my take on the whole situation.
* Pause to light a cig, take a deep breath in, and get ready to run for cover*
Stipperweb, as a whole, has become very judgemental and closed minded lately. If a person has an opinion on something, THEIR'S is the only opinion that is right and correct, they are unwilling to see other sides of the situation, and are unwilling to budge in their origional judgement.
Added to this, that the "clique" some people are talking about. I don't see it as a clique so much as a pack mentality that other's have also spoken of.
If one of the more senior mebers of this site gives their opinion, their friends follow that opinion. Everyone else jumps on the bandwagon, and ends up totally running people who's opinion differs totally into the ground. I have seen some people who had the unpopular opinion get totally thrashed, way more than they may have deserved.
Then there is this partiular air of "my shit don't stink". People act liek they are better then everyone else, act as if they do no wrong, never have, never will. Thi sis simply not true. It is not possible for a person, any person to be completly perfect, Yet, they act as if they do no wrong, and then bash someone who admits to doiing wrong. An example of this was the girl who married the guy for money so he could get citizenship. She got totally and completly slammed for her mistake, and everyoen else acted like they have never made any mistakes in life.
ANother example was the Paris Hilton DUI thread.
The whole childfree thread was just a trainwreck. It caused a lot of hurt feelings, but I don't feel any one person was to blame. Everyone contributed to that thread. It was just a complete trainwreck.
I think....Put everyone on SW into one big room, people are sure to bicker and fight. Not everyone here woudl be friends in real life, not everyone here woudl get along. That's why forum's are moderated. Bickering is garunteed to happen. Unfortunatly, right now the lounge is open. Noone is around to moderate it, and the bickering got worse. Noone could clean up after it. I don't think that any certain people are acting bitchier than usual. It's just that noone is around to clean up the bitchy comments, so they snowball into huge arguments.
I don't think anyone is really to blame, excpet Pryce for not being able to keep up with the website he created. I strongly feel that if he is to busy to care for his site, then he should ptu someone in charge who can take care of it, because SW is begining to fall apart. There are so many other issues that need addressed and aren't.
As for the "cliques". Yes, there are cliques. If your in one, you can't really see beyond that to see that there are certain cliques. . I don't think it matters, or causes a problem. Just liek in real life, you have your own group of friends. You would be quick to defend your friend in real life, and it's the same here. A lot of people have met and made friends in real life with other people from this site. SO of course, they are going to step up and defend their friends, and act a certain way towards them. I don't see a problem with it. The only problem I see is when EVERYONE jumps on and singles out 1 person and starts bashing them, for pages and pages. If you disagree with something, say your piece, then step out. There's no need to completly drive somenoe into the ground.
I don't thin kit has anythign do to with post count, although of course, nweer people are going to have a harder time with havign their opinions beign valued, just because they need to earn trust, just like in real life. You don't get a new job at a club, and immeadatl are well liked and trusted and a valued member just because your there. You have to earn respect first.
BrunetteGoddess
05-24-2007, 05:45 AM
So by clique you mean girls who have over a thousand posts?
No babe, I think you gotta read again, because I'm waaay over 1,000 and I'm a loner ;)
But hey, I get it, I haven't met anyone in person yet, no one really knows me :P
PhillyDancer1982
05-24-2007, 05:49 AM
Yes Cally, I've definitely noticed it too. Especially with my "Has anyone ever met Sophie Marie" thread. The flaming reactions that I'd gotten with that thread were just a little over-the-top, especially for certain people who'd actively participated in the other S. M. thread yet decided on the very day that I posted my thread, that it was "wrong" and "immature."
I'll admit that I've been a little more opinionated and disagreeable lately, but not because I'm trying to be a bitch(the bad kind). Instead, it is because I've been trying to practice standing up for myself and my opinions more, even if those opinions contrast with others'. I've been purposely trying to post more on threads where 99% of the posters have a different view than me. I find it easier to start being more bold on a forum, than to start in "real life." It's part of a self course in assertiveness training LOL.
Optimist
05-24-2007, 05:50 AM
Well, fuckity fuck fuck fuck! That's my bit of mischeif for the day!
I think people are pissed off because most of us are giving more than we're getting back. The money isn't flowing right, the customers are acting bitchy and opportunistic, the artistic aspect of the gig is going out the window, the clubs would rather cater to prostitutes than dancers or former customers preferences. So the party is grinding to a freaking halt! Girls, I know at my club (Masters), the mood was in the toilet most of the season (if you wanna call it that). Women dreaming of doing this for ten years and using it as a stepping stone are being jolted into a VERY harsh reality.
People are burnt out from giving more than they get back so they gotta vent. Every multi-national corporation is making a run. Every lender/developer has made a run while treating customers and employees like crap! The government refuses to keep educational funding up to date with today's prices so doors to self-sufficiency are closing... It's tough all over
BrunetteGoddess
05-24-2007, 06:04 AM
Yes Cally, I've definitely noticed it too. Especially with my "Has anyone ever met Sophie Marie" thread. The flaming reactions that I'd gotten with that thread were just a little over-the-top, especially for certain people who'd actively participated in the other S. M. thread yet decided on the very day that I posted my thread, that it was "wrong" and "immature."
I'll admit that I've been a little more opinionated and disagreeable lately, but not because I'm trying to be a bitch(the bad kind). Instead, it is because I've been trying to practice standing up for myself and my opinions more, even if those opinions contrast with others'. I've been purposely trying to post more on threads where 99% of the posters have a different view than me. I find it easier to start being more bold on a forum, than to start in "real life." It's part of a self course in assertiveness training LOL.
Good for you Philly! That's a good idea, and what I try to do as well. I hope I wasn't one of the bitches in your other thread; I tried to be helpful but honest:-\
Esco!
05-24-2007, 06:07 AM
What all you girls need is a good long hard...<edited by moderator> !!!
:D
PhillyDancer1982
05-24-2007, 06:23 AM
Good for you Philly! That's a good idea, and what I try to do as well. I hope I wasn't one of the bitches in your other thread; I tried to be helpful but honest:-\
No, you weren't that bad. You weren't one of the encouragers/participants in the infamous "Who killed SM" thead, therefore, you had a firm leg to stand on when it came to telling me that you were tired of reading about SM. It was moreso some of the people that had taken part in the other SM thread, then decided to "switch sides" when I posted. I don't even remember who all those were...it was probably one person, which encouraged others to start agreeing with that person(it's a psychological/sociological thing called the "bandwagon theory").
the customers are acting bitchy and opportunistic,
"Opportunistic" is the term that was used in my biology classes to describe BACTERIA that would turn parasitic as soon they sensed a person had a weak spot(i.e., the host/person became sick and immunosuppressed). LOL I find it funny that you described customers as having a common trait with such primitive, prokaryotic BACTERIA! :P :D ;D To compare them to bacteria is kind of an insult, but I feel that a lot of the bitchy customers deserve it, considering how damn cheap and obnoxious they can be.
virgoamm
05-24-2007, 06:36 AM
Awww, can't we all just get along??? I love all you guys. :-*
This is by far the best internet comunity I've ever found and am very thankful to be a part of it. Yeah, we have our disagreements, but who doesn't? We're a very diverse group of people and even though we have a lot of things in common, there are certain issues that we will butt heads over-it's inevitable.
How interesting would it be if everyone had the same opinions and were carbon copies of each other? I don't know about you, but I'd find it pretty damn boring.
I do agree though that some members have been unnecessarily bashed/flamed for speaking their minds.
Alexxa, PhillyDancer Exctasy in Daytona and Miabella come to mind just to name a few.
Optimist
05-24-2007, 06:38 AM
"Opportunistic" is the term that was used in my biology classes to describe BACTERIA that would turn parasitic as soon they sensed a person had a weak spot(i.e., the host/person became sick and immunosuppressed). LOL I find it funny that you described customers as having a common trait with such primitive, prokaryotic BACTERIA! :P :D ;D To compare them to bacteria is kind of an insult, but I feel that a lot of the bitchy customers deserve it, considering how damn cheap and obnoxious they can be.
Giiiiirrrrrlll, that's exactly how I mean it.>:( These men are johns--not customers! They are predators coming in to look for the weak girl or create a weakness in a girl's mind and exploit it. The club owners are pimps looking to weaken the girls who work there and drive the strong ones away through permissive policies, high fees, and over scheduling. You remember AC--the tip split, the violent bitches they let run amok, the bachelor parties they let run amok...
PhillyDancer1982
05-24-2007, 07:42 AM
Giiiiirrrrrlll, that's exactly how I mean it.>:( These men are johns--not customers! They are predators coming in to look for the weak girl or create a weakness in a girl's mind and exploit it. The club owners are pimps looking to weaken the girls who work there and drive the strong ones away through permissive policies, high fees, and over scheduling. You remember AC--the tip split, the violent bitches they let run amok, the bachelor parties they let run amok...
Oh yes I remember too well! And I agree 100% about the customers that look for the weak girls and exploit them to their entertainment. When I had a more innocent look(pre-implants, pre-heavy makeup) and acted more friendly and down-to-earth, I had a lot more guys asking for a kiss or trying to grope me where they shouldn't. Last summer when I was bummed about not finding a job in my field and even more bummed about making lousier-than-usual money stripping, guys would ask me if stripping was "all that I did" and I would explain how I had graduated college and was seeking a job in field X. The most common response? A very flippant "oh, and now you're here." Rude, rude, rude! >:(
Or what about the stupid-ass Home Vestors manager that came into CH, and didn't spend a single dime but wanted to try and hustle a house sale on me? >:( I was too nice/subservient to walk away from him for fear of being rude, and he probably saw that nice-by-obligation in me and that's probably why he wasted my time but told Emily "Thanks, but I'm okay. Go make your money!" He pissed me off to the point that I will NEVER EVER buy a house from Home Vestors now(especially since I sense that they are a bit of a rip-off company).
Or the time 2 days before I got my implants, when a group of young guys came in and flamed me and accused me of "lying" about getting implants. (Excuse me if they came into the club 2 days too soon) They all refused to tip me, and stared at me with snobbish disgusted looks on their faces when I was dancing on stage. They were definitely preying upon my weakness, the weakness being the low esteem I had about my flatchestedness at that time.
Sorry to rant...but you are absolutely right! There were people waaaay weaker and more submissive to me, and I cannot imagine how the customers shitted on them. Ugh.
jaizaine
05-24-2007, 07:50 AM
Just a harmless observation but Cally made this thread about people getting angry and it seems to have happened in this very thread.
:'(
cherry_sin
05-24-2007, 07:56 AM
^^^^Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel the same way as Kaylinn does. SW seems to just be... falling apart.
Now, I'm all for people having different opinions, and I am SO totally not always right in what I think.
I'll even bite and say maybe The Clique that we've been talking about is so tight with each other cause they share so many of the same opinions, and that's why some people get shut down so hard - cause some of the most active members think so much alike on some things.
I do know that we are rapidly intimidating, distancing, and bewildering the new girls that join SW because of it, though. We're not going to be a community much longer if it keeps up. It'll all be old and stale... lots of lurkers, maybe, but the same handful of people posting everywhere.
*resumes ducking and covering*
britt244
05-24-2007, 08:54 AM
i agree with kaylinn, too. i know lately i havent been coming on here as much as i used to (even though i havent been around as long as some of you) and half the time i'm like hmm should i even post about this? because i dont want the negative responses that i'm afraid i'll get. that sounds probably different than i mean it, i obviously want opinions, but sometimes im afraid to post certain things because i feel like it'll start a bad thread or something.
i'm glad cally started this thread and brought it out in the open. but then again.. i kinda feel like if someone else had, like me, or a lot of other people, actually, it would've taken a different turn and wouldnt have been responded to in the same way.
i dont know, just my 2 cents.
cherry_sin
05-24-2007, 08:56 AM
^^^Exactly. You have to second guess EVERYTHING. It stunts the flow of the conversation.
TigersMilk
05-24-2007, 08:58 AM
I dont think people should 'be afraid' to post certain threads. Its a forum...make with the conversation already. Gosh ya'll are thinking too much around here. Lets face it here some people are down right annoying on SW and some are very endearing. So say what you want to say just be adult about it but unfortunately being adult has many definitions to people.
NatalieFRPhilly
05-24-2007, 09:49 AM
I agree with Cally, britt, cherrysin,kaylinn ect I don't really come on this site as much as I used to and I have noticed a big change for the worse as well. It's dumb to sugar coat things but we don't have to be straight out agressive bitches, it started to feel like a strip club in here with all the drama. I myself have posted a mean nasty comment so this is a good wake up call.
^^^ I agree with this. It's a forum, who cares if someone dissagrees with you, you can turn your computer off or switch the page and leave the situation. Just post your piece, let people say what they say, don't take anything too personally. We are strippers for crying out loud, we're supposed to be known for our thick skin and assertivness. Poeple have dissagreed with me highly before, and in another thread been totally and completely helpfull and friendly. That's how it should be. Just agree to dissagree, just like anywhere else in the world. Toughen up.
cherry_sin
05-24-2007, 10:06 AM
I agree with Tigersmilk that people shouldn't be afraid to post certain threads. I think so as well. The problem is that sometimes topics get just completely exploded. All it takes is ONE person to say something nasty or mushy or one of the clique members to say something against the idea and the whole thread just explodes.
Optimist
05-24-2007, 10:19 AM
Thank you Fawn! (good to see you posting again by the way)
PEOPLE!!! When you get frightened you'll be flamed--post it ANYWAY! Let your flag fly!! No one is going to come through the screen and whip yo' ass! :rotfl:
When I first found this sanctuary, I was so intimidated and took it very personally when I thought my posts were ignored. Gradually, I got bolder and stopped imagining other people's responses. DO THAT! You are all so valuable. Every voice (even sophiemarie) is so precious and rich and makes the community stronger. Everyone has an experience to share and as long as you're not abusive you are sooooo welcome here!
Don't let the cliques bother you. I have buds in the community but it doesn't keep me from disagreeing when I must. They don't get angry at my disagreement. Oh, they may ask what my rationale is but they don't rip me a new one! :D As for the various and sundry--ya' can't please 'em all! EVER! That's OK, don't let that fact stop YOU from enjoying YOUR COMMUNITY.
Optimist
05-24-2007, 10:29 AM
On a different note, there are always waves of drama. When I joined there were members going at it on various forums. Most of them aren't here anymore but the community didn't fall apart! Don't worry. We're OK.
sassysummer
05-24-2007, 10:45 AM
**Ahem, ahem** clears throat...
fa fa fa faaaaa
la la la la la laaaaaa
ammmmmmmmm
:sing: :sing:
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
sorry, that's all i know ;D
BmiWMT14
05-24-2007, 10:57 AM
This is by far the best internet comunity I've ever found and am very thankful to be a part of it.
I will second this comment! I try to stay out of the girly talk, and only post in topics relevent to guys too, but by far I have to most fun on this site, in the lounge, and its due to the extreme diversity of the people that post here. I think most internet communities go through these phases where every one seems to be at each other throat. Usually they pass, hopefully this one will too.
On another note from this thread, if Paige is handing out spankings, I prefer mine with ball gag in place }:D
PookaShell
05-24-2007, 11:22 AM
I post a ton on here, and now that I've made my presence better known by being a post whore for a while I feel like I get better responses - but when I first came on here I was pretty much invisible. My threads would get a few responses here and there, but now I get alot more feedback because after a long time of mosying my way into chat and talking into the late hours with people on here, pm-ing anyone I thought sounded upset or had changed their mood to sad and asking what was going on, trying to be friendly to everyone and respond alot so that people would start to recognize my posts, talking to a few members on the phone, etc.....
But I'm still intimidated by the people who've posted on here way longer than me. You just have to put yourself out there. The second day I was on SW I pm-d Paige and told her that I was incredibly intimidated by her hotness and pretty much in love with her, and though she'd been here WAY longer than me then we've been friends since then...
I've recieved my share of negative feedback, and lack of responses, and I don't know if I'm a part of any clique because I'm still indimidated as hell by alot of the more well known posters.....but I apoligize if my occasional thread de-railing to love on a poster has been annoying. I thought we were all just bein friendly. I've noticed some bitchiness on here lately, and I hope I haven't contributed to any of it or any hurt feelings.
*end rambling*
*exit pooka*
Lola Rose
05-24-2007, 11:25 AM
I think that it all started with the threads about being frustrated with children or being Childfree. It really opened up a lot of cans of worms, a lot of people butted in, a lot of people got annoyed at those who butted in because there was a lot of entitlement, the butters got defensive and considered themselves innocent even though they'd have a cow if we did what they did, and we're all annoyed at each other now.
I think you are way more focuse on that thread then anyone else. I've never seen someone so possessive of a fing thread! let it go already ::)
Roulette
05-24-2007, 11:26 AM
1. I dont think the bitchy behavior has to do with who kissy kissies who on here. I dont think the clique sort of things matter when it comes to the bitchy behavior.
2. I think mostly the bitchyness is due to this all being typed, word use, and how someone reads what is written. If you are feeling shitty (which it seems many of us are due to external issues) you will read "Whatever, anyway..." as being cynical and dismissive, maybe having some sort of personal "your oppinion is dumb" connotation rather than "ok, we disagree, now, moving on". I use this as an example because in real like I say "whatever, anyway..." all the time when I disagree but it is a non issue and it's time to move on.... however I also use it when I think someone is an idiot and want to be snarky, and you can totally hear the difference, but on here you wouldnt be able to tell.
And as for the cliques.... I cant think of many, and I dont find them disruptive. As long as threads do have answeres and as long as the derailing isn't like taking over the thread it doesnt bother me. I kind of like it too because sometimes it beings up another interesting point or idea.
In my group dynamics class (which sucked donkey dong, and I didnt think I learned anything until now, so thanks guys!) there was all this friction, a lot like what seems to be going on here. But no one was being confronted or anything and there was no change and no movement. Once we said what we saw going on, and werent vauge about it it really helped up become more cohesive and work better together and that heavy feeling and tension was gone and it was light and happy. So I will tell you, this is what I see...
So I'm going to step out on a ledge here, hope I dont offend...
The cliques (from what I've seen) or friendships that may inhibit or intimidate others are
Paige and Pooka the wifeys... I see it as intimidating because you obviously hold eachother in high regard. As a noob I wanted to be held in a high regard, and thought both of you were cool, but I am not like either one and felt that I could achieve that sort of... status for lack of a better term. Then I realized that is just silly thinking. This is the freaking internet!
Paige Pooka and Cally, the Aphrodite style threesome... the three of you in a lovefest is enough to intimidate any shy person, you three are all over the boards and you presence is def known. (and this applies to the above as well) you are the popular people on here (and obviously there are others, but these seem to have become stuck together)
I know there are others out there for sure!! But right now these are the ones that stick most in my mind. The ones that I can think of that do the most kiss kiss love love stuff. I personally dont care about it. Maybe I'm part of this, I dont know, I dont think so but I heart Cally way hard... and I know I've done this.
But really I dont think these friendships are the root of the being bitchy thing...
girlinterupted
05-24-2007, 11:45 AM
I like that SW has grown and is less sterile. In my opinion, it's less one-sided than it used to be because at least now people are offering different opinions. Yes, those who say things that aren't popular get flamed, and there are cliques..... but that's part of the joy of being in a community. I'd rather deal with some drama at the cost of not being over-moderated.
ChubbyChaser
05-24-2007, 11:47 AM
It's been bitchy here, in the locker room at my club, and out and about in life *sigh* It's an off season, I think. It's hot, money isn't the greatest for the entertainment industry right now, it's humid, and the summer drift of dancers has started. We're all a bit edgy. Especially us without air conditioning :(
PhillyDancer1982
05-24-2007, 12:21 PM
Thank you Fawn! (good to see you posting again by the way)
PEOPLE!!! When you get frightened you'll be flamed--post it ANYWAY! Let your flag fly!! No one is going to come through the screen and whip yo' ass! :rotfl:
When I first found this sanctuary, I was so intimidated and took it very personally when I thought my posts were ignored. Gradually, I got bolder and stopped imagining other people's responses. DO THAT! You are all so valuable. Every voice (even sophiemarie) is so precious and rich and makes the community stronger. Everyone has an experience to share and as long as you're not abusive you are sooooo welcome here!
Don't let the cliques bother you. I have buds in the community but it doesn't keep me from disagreeing when I must. They don't get angry at my disagreement. Oh, they may ask what my rationale is but they don't rip me a new one! :D As for the various and sundry--ya' can't please 'em all! EVER! That's OK, don't let that fact stop YOU from enjoying YOUR COMMUNITY.
Preach it, sister! :)
snoopy
05-24-2007, 12:22 PM
Paige Pooka and Cally, the Aphrodite style threesome... blah blah blah... :O
sorry i'm a guy. :P
But really I dont think these friendships are the root of the being bitchy thing...but seriously, i do agree with a lot of what roulette posted. normally, i really just keep my nose only in the lounge, picture (funny threads), and ladies-only (sorry, but it's just fascinating stuff sometimes) but i haven't seen an overwhelming hate-wave.
if anything (in those few sub-forums) i've seen very helpful advice and camaraderie between the ladies of the forum.
but like roulette notes, you're bound to have conflict when you place different people in the same room. and imo, a little revolution every now and then helps keep the blood pumping.
on other forums i liken it to burning out the underbrush and clearing the way for fresh ideas. "i agree" "ditto" posts get boring really quick. yes, they're much easier to mod but who goes to an ice-cream shop with only 3-flavors?
as long as the posts don't devolve into hateful/spiteful insults (although they're fun to watch too! :P ), a little disagreement promotes discussion.
i have nothing to do with this industry but i really like seeing the daily discussions (probably because they're so different from what i'm used to). having no curse/nudity-filters and cyber-hobnobbing with boootiful wimmen all-day long doesn't hurt either, true. ::)
but i really do think it's good to see opposing views. sometimes they're going to erupt into full-scale flame wars but sometimes you also get to see that moment of epiphany or "holy smokes, girls shave their butts?" :O jmo
PaigeDWinter
05-24-2007, 01:33 PM
The cliques (from what I've seen) or friendships that may inhibit or intimidate others are
Paige and Pooka the wifeys... I see it as intimidating because you obviously hold eachother in high regard. As a noob I wanted to be held in a high regard, and thought both of you were cool, but I am not like either one and felt that I could achieve that sort of... status for lack of a better term. Then I realized that is just silly thinking. This is the freaking internet!
Paige Pooka and Cally, the Aphrodite style threesome... the three of you in a lovefest is enough to intimidate any shy person, you three are all over the boards and you presence is def known. (and this applies to the above as well) you are the popular people on here (and obviously there are others, but these seem to have become stuck together)
See, the thing to remember about Paige + Pooka + Cally is that we developed friendships over time here. Cally and I talked a lot in chat, and Pooka just outright PM'd me one day out of the blue. The communication ball began rolling. We really didn't do anything different than anyone else when they make friends. I was this way with Rhia when she posted more. And TM. I get lovey with others too. Rozz, Alexxa, Lady Jade, Mr C, Mast, etc... it's really nothing more than being pals. And they have a wide variety of Been Here X Amount Of Time.
There is nothing really, that I or any of us "lovey posters", are doing that stops anyone else from joining in! If you're intimidated, what can I really do to change how you feel? Bite yer lip and jump on in! It's like getting into the cold pool. Jump in or inch in slowly, but if you sit out, you miss out.
I like you well enough, Roulette. I'd totally have a lovey post with you any day! Hell, I would with most folks on here.
There is a TINY handful of posters I honestly don't get along with, and I tend to keep that to myself. And I really DO vocally disagree with my friends when the time arise. I think a big part of why it's not done A LOT is because... well... hell! We're pals because we have things in common, yeah? Opinions are often included in that Things In Common pile, IMHO.
sun child
05-24-2007, 02:59 PM
My only complaint about SW is that I wish the review links would be fixed.
It's just the internet! Ignore bitchiness and step away from pointless arguments.
I think the clique that some have complained about is mostly imagined.
I think the clique that some have complained about is mostly imagined.
I don't even know who's in the clique. I must be out of the loop.
sun child
05-24-2007, 03:07 PM
That's what I'm talking about. I think some people are imagining that there is this clique lording over SW.
LatinaRose
05-24-2007, 03:18 PM
ITA agree with everything Kaylinn said. It's not so much a clique, it's the pack mentality that outta control. A "popular" member says what they think, then everyone follows suit, in essence "ganging up" on the poster in question. I hope to see the problems get better once we get a mod in here. The overall tone of SW has changed since I've been a member and it would be nice to see a change for the better.
ETA: Also, I think a lot more people are outspoken b/c it's the internet. The fake id thread - if you were in the dressing room and heard two girls talking about using a fake id, would you tell them off like some did on this site? No you would probably just keep your mouth shut b/c it's none of your business anyway. But since we're on the internet and no one really knows anyone anyway, it's perfectly okay for people to type their opinions as disrespectful as can be.
Roulette
05-24-2007, 03:25 PM
See, the thing to remember about Paige + Pooka + Cally is that we developed friendships over time here. Cally and I talked a lot in chat, and Pooka just outright PM'd me one day out of the blue. The communication ball began rolling. We really didn't do anything different than anyone else when they make friends. I was this way with Rhia when she posted more. And TM. I get lovey with others too. Rozz, Alexxa, Lady Jade, Mr C, Mast, etc... it's really nothing more than being pals. And they have a wide variety of Been Here X Amount Of Time.
There is nothing really, that I or any of us "lovey posters", are doing that stops anyone else from joining in! If you're intimidated, what can I really do to change how you feel? Bite yer lip and jump on in! It's like getting into the cold pool. Jump in or inch in slowly, but if you sit out, you miss out.
I like you well enough, Roulette. I'd totally have a lovey post with you any day! Hell, I would with most folks on here.
There is a TINY handful of posters I honestly don't get along with, and I tend to keep that to myself. And I really DO vocally disagree with my friends when the time arise. I think a big part of why it's not done A LOT is because... well... hell! We're pals because we have things in common, yeah? Opinions are often included in that Things In Common pile, IMHO.
I think you got me right and you got me wrong... I don't have a problem with the friendships that have been made. it would be really weird if none had been made over these past few years. And though I may be intimidated by some people it does not prevent me from talking to them or joking around with them. These obvious friendships may however intimidate a shyer person and keep them from speaking or saying something contrary to what the group thinks (speaking forum by forum here). I know that within these friedships there are disagreements. And there isn't anything you can do, you're friends and the newbs arent there yet with you or anyone else.
This is a group of people. Of course there are going to be friendships and disagreements and people who are rubbed the wrong way. that's natural and normal. I don't think that these friendships are a big deal. I think this thread has somehow made it into a big deal by trying to blame someone(s) which isn't fair. I think the bitchyness is an outside factor being brought in. That is all. When I started talking about thr friendships I was only doing it to point out how some might view them as a problem (derailing threads with the lovey stuff), but ultimately as I said i feel it is us as members feeling kinda crappy about work or love or life in general and misreading what others say, as well as some of us just being snarky without really meaning to.
Thank you Paige for responding... I am not actually very intimidated by you much anymore, but when I first started on here I was a little. You were like this super rad and awesome chick. And you still are, but you're somehow more... I dunno, human? I'm not sure but the intimidation factor is lower.
PaigeDWinter
05-24-2007, 03:29 PM
Thank you Paige for responding... I am not actually very intimidated by you much anymore, but when I first started on here I was a little. You were like this super rad and awesome chick. And you still are, but you're somehow more... I dunno, human? I'm not sure but the intimidation factor is lower.
I'm glad. I really am. It bugs me to know that I seem more than just some chick to folks. I like knowing that I'm not intimidating. I like ya'll here and I just wanna be pals! :D
sun child
05-24-2007, 03:33 PM
Aw! Group hug! :)
Roulette
05-24-2007, 03:33 PM
you just strike me as cooler than the average chick... and a little more... not wise but something akin to it. (I dont like calling people wise, it seems pretentious for some reason)
Esco!
05-24-2007, 03:38 PM
it seems pretencious(sp?) for some reason)
Did you mean:
:D;)
Optimist
05-24-2007, 03:40 PM
ITA agree with everything Kaylinn said. It's not so much a clique, it's the pack mentality that outta control. A "popular" member says what they think, then everyone follows suit, in essence "ganging up" on the poster in question. I hope to see the problems get better once we get a mod in here. The overall tone of SW has changed since I've been a member and it would be nice to see a change for the better.
I don't see a pack mentality. I can only speak for myself but what I post I actually mean. I'm a grown-ass woman (Steve Harvey reference) so I post what I think. May be you should pm the members you don't believe. Put 'em to the test! I've done it. At least you'll know for sure where they're coming from!:)
BrunetteGoddess
05-24-2007, 03:40 PM
I post a ton on here, and now that I've made my presence better known by being a post whore for a while I feel like I get better responses - but when I first came on here I was pretty much invisible. My threads would get a few responses here and there, but now I get alot more feedback because after a long time of mosying my way into chat and talking into the late hours with people on here, pm-ing anyone I thought sounded upset or had changed their mood to sad and asking what was going on, trying to be friendly to everyone and respond alot so that people would start to recognize my posts, talking to a few members on the phone, etc.....
But I'm still intimidated by the people who've posted on here way longer than me. You just have to put yourself out there. The second day I was on SW I pm-d Paige and told her that I was incredibly intimidated by her hotness and pretty much in love with her, and though she'd been here WAY longer than me then we've been friends since then...
I've recieved my share of negative feedback, and lack of responses, and I don't know if I'm a part of any clique because I'm still indimidated as hell by alot of the more well known posters.....but I apoligize if my occasional thread de-railing to love on a poster has been annoying. I thought we were all just bein friendly. I've noticed some bitchiness on here lately, and I hope I haven't contributed to any of it or any hurt feelings.
*end rambling*
*exit pooka*
Honestly, even the thought of meeting SWers makes me have anxiety. I'm very nervous and shy around new people; I even admit to backing out of a SWFest or two because social situations with new people freak me the fuck out. And the phone? Forget it. Even the people I know don't get phone time with me too much.
Roulette
05-24-2007, 03:46 PM
Honestly, even the thought of meeting SWers makes me have anxiety. I'm very nervous and shy around new people; I even admit to backing out of a SWFest or two because social situations with new people freak me the fuck out. And the phone? Forget it. Even the people I know don't get phone time with me too much.
Interesting... Never would have guessed.
BrunetteGoddess
05-24-2007, 03:50 PM
LOL. I'm totally different once I actually get ot know a person and make friends with them. It's the act of getting over the "getting to know you, making friends" hump that is so hard for me.
Also, that's probably the reason that I haven't met HK in person yet. We keep saying we should meet up, but really I'm scared as hell.
I also don't go in chat much because I feel like I'm ignored because the people that know each other better are too busy talking to each other to notice me.
See Roulette? I'm totally not intimidating, I'm a big ball of anxiety half the time! :P
*runs away*
Roulette
05-24-2007, 03:51 PM
Aww get one now and we'll talk.. I'm totally new to the chat thing so I'm used to people that I dont now at all... I also used to be shy but then I kinda said fuck it here I am - BAM in yo face!! Usually people just laugh at me and we get on ok.
TheSexKitten
05-24-2007, 03:52 PM
I agree with what Kailynn and LR have said. There's not really a specififc "clique", but moreso, popular posters. Popular posters get alllll the replies, and their opinions sway everyone else's! Not a bad thing, really. It's life! But it has really very little to do with post count and time spent here. For example, Pooka joined this site after me, but she has a million more posts and a lot more presence here.
Good? Bad? It's neither!
But the matter of all these hateful comments are a result of relaxed tact, status, and a tendency to gang up and "go with the flow" in order to be recognized.
Just my further thoughts.
britt244
05-24-2007, 05:52 PM
I dont think people should 'be afraid' to post certain threads. Its a forum...make with the conversation already. Gosh ya'll are thinking too much around here. Lets face it here some people are down right annoying on SW and some are very endearing. So say what you want to say just be adult about it but unfortunately being adult has many definitions to people.
^^^ I agree with this. It's a forum, who cares if someone dissagrees with you, you can turn your computer off or switch the page and leave the situation. Just post your piece, let people say what they say, don't take anything too personally. We are strippers for crying out loud, we're supposed to be known for our thick skin and assertivness. Poeple have dissagreed with me highly before, and in another thread been totally and completely helpfull and friendly. That's how it should be. Just agree to dissagree, just like anywhere else in the world. Toughen up.
it isn't about toughening up. it's about the fact that people get totally bashed. yeah, i said some not so nice things to extacy in daytona when she had her thread about her fake marriage. and maybe i shouldnt have. i was going to bring up the fake id thread, too, but LR beat me to it. i'm sure many of you have done illegal things at one time or another, but lots of people were quick to bash her for it. thats just irks me to no end.
my point was that there have been times that ive posted about something and been bashed for what i said, and i find it to be hypocritical. girls who have been in my shoes (admittedly) arent supportive or helpful, they judge. and THAT bothers me. i dont care if people disagree with me. but when i(or anyone else) am venting, ranting, asking for advice, etc, and people are rude, it makes me want to stay away from here. and yeah, i could check out of the threads, but there are sometimes helpful things mixed in there. even more, i shouldnt HAVE to. if i ask a question and people are nasty about it, what help were they? did they answer my question? no. i shouldnt have to wade through negative comments to get to an actual answer. so no, i dont think it's about toughening up.
also, i think that what pooka said about being more well known gets you better responses is true, but it also gets you different responses. while i find these people at no fault at all (seriously.. its nothing against you, so please dont take it that way. just making an example!!) girls have posted pictures about their weight loss and they get great feedback and support. i feel like if i were to do that, it wouldnt be the same. maybe i'm wrong, but it's just how i feel based on different responses that different people get on the same topics.
i definately agree with the idea that one person gets the ball rolling and then the bitchiness comes out, though.
I never read the child free thread ( or whatever the hell it was caused. ) I'm assuming this entire thread has spawned from it.,judging by the amount of times it's been mentioned during.
At any rate, My question is why is ANYONE bothered by a message board for fucks sake.
Who fucking cares about cliques?! seriously . This is a website that you can either go to or not go to. You can either be apart of discussions or NOT be apart of them. No one is forcing anyones hand.
And while it would great if all threads stayed on track, does it matter at the end of the day?
ITS THE INTERNET! fuck I swear. I don't get why a lot are rilled up over it. Because they don't get a degree of attention ? Or answers to specific questions? I can't figure it out.
I take the entire " it's not that fucking important" I actually had someone msg me and ask if I was pissed that on my birthday no one started a happy birthday thread to me but did for pooka. Dude seriously...lol why would I get upset?
UGH
snoopy
05-24-2007, 07:19 PM
hbd tart! :party: