View Full Version : I'm pregnant...
jaizaine
05-30-2007, 06:40 AM
I disagree that people are picking on Alexxa. Sure, some people are disagreeing with some things she's said, but that doesn't amount to a ganging up, especially since most people who've disagreed have been very civil about it.
I agree with you there. I am guilty of being oversensitive lately on this forum but simply pointing out soemthing which is fact - that being pregnant is diff to raising a child is just that pointing out fact. I have nothing against Alexxa but I fail to see how anyone on this thread picked on her.
Lola Rose
05-30-2007, 08:45 AM
For goodness sakes, not everyone needs to comment, quote, and add their imput on weather they were picking on alexxa or not.... or weather she was in the wrong or not.
this thread is about lucki, for her to recieve advice and support. Who are any of you to judge anothers advice. Lucki can take it any way she wants, and that's for her to do. She is an adult.
Oh, darling, I've been there. I didn't find out until it was almost too late. Do whatever you need to do and don't let anyone push you into something you're not comfortable with. I wish you all the best.
Lisbeth
05-30-2007, 10:27 AM
Best of luck hon, *hugs* You'll be in my thoughts. I cant say I've been there, but if you need to talk, yell, cry, anything, feel free to contact me. Choose what feels right to you, just like Rozz said, don't let someone else push you into something. Take care of yourself, good luck.
danijamesxxx
05-30-2007, 12:31 PM
Hey girl, I just found out I am preggo myself... unplanned as well. However I have been on the pill for 6 years so it is a bit of a surprise! Anyways I just want to tell you to go with your gut... it sounds simple I know. Don't let anyone else try and get you to change your mind on this either... when it comes down to it, it is YOUR body and YOUR life. Sometimes, it is just not the right time for a baby- because of financial problems, or lifestyle issues, etc. I have a degree to fall back on so getting another job other than dancing won't be hard. My partner and I are financially secure and have lots of family around to help. You need to really sit down alone and let your body speak to you. Good luck hun.
LuckiCharm
05-30-2007, 06:50 PM
Thank you so much for your posts everyone...You don't know how good it made me feel to see all the people who cared enough to post good wishes!
I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, but as soon as I make a decision I'll definitly let ya'll know what happens. Since I'm only about a month (I've only skipped one period so I'm assuming I'm probably right at a month), the "pill" still is an option. To anyone who's ever done the "pill", what was your experience? (To anyone who don't know what I'm talking about, I mean the abortion pill)
Roulette
05-30-2007, 06:52 PM
:hug: I don't know about the pill, but I'm thinkin' of ya!!
LuckiCharm
05-30-2007, 06:59 PM
Thanks Roulette :)
pinkkitten
05-30-2007, 07:05 PM
My experience with the pill was very uncertain. I wasn't sure if it worked or not and there was no way to find out until my 2 week check up when they did an ultrasound. Then one of the nurses or practitioners that works there accidentally let it slip out that the pill fails in a good amount of cases and the patient needs to come back and get the other procedure done anyway. I had expected a lot of pain, cramping and bleeding but instead almost nothing happened and i had no idea if it worked at all or not. The surgical one at least they put me to sleep and when i woke up it was all taken care off. For myself, in the future, i would not do the pill option again, i'd just go straight to the regular surgical one.
Kaylinn
05-30-2007, 07:05 PM
Just so you know...the pill only works up to 9 weeks. Then you gotta get a surgical abortion.
BrunetteGoddess
05-30-2007, 07:29 PM
Oh LC, my sweetie, I'm sorry you're being faced with such a tough decision when you're not really ready.
I will give you the other side of Andygirl's story though. I had both my girls before I was 21 and I'm now able to do whatever I want at only 40.
But don't let our stories sway you. Do what's right for you. We'll be here no matter what you decide.
Many, many hugs to you honey. This is a hard one and I'm sending you some strength vibes to aid you in your decision. Keep us posted.
My mom did this too; she had me at 22 and now she's in her very early 40s doing whatever she wants.
I can't imagine what you're going through LC, I know I'm only 22, and I sure as hell am not ready now, much less a year ago.
Good luck in whatever you decide!
Lucki,
Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Neither will be easy but I am sure that you will make the best decision possible. Good luck and feel free to PM me anytime. :hug:
I did the pill.
I had min. cramping..nothing bad at all. I did mine at 7 weeks btw. I took one pill there at PP and then I had to insert either 3 or 4 in my vagina 12 hours later. I did it using an empty applicator for a tampon , laying on my back.
After I took the first pill I had crampy on the way home from there. No bleeding etc.
They gave me a script for vicodin though so that did help a lot.
When I did begin to miscarry, It was heavy but not alarmingly so. Sorta bled heavy for a few hours, then it tapered off into spotting.
I did spot for about a week n' a half.
Obviously you can't use tampons etc etc. I had my first period about 3 weeks later.
No complications to note.
Kaylinn
05-30-2007, 08:18 PM
Tart, may I ask....
When you start to bleed....can you see the uhh....fetal tissue on the pad?
Cause if that's the case...Im thinkin the surgical abortion would be less emotionally stressful.
DylanAngel
05-30-2007, 08:44 PM
I always recommend the surgical abortion, because I'm so afraid of the possible missed abortion risks that the pill carries.
Either way, it's an emotional ordeal that carries heartbreak and relief all in the same package.
Honestly it just looked like a clot. There isn't much there to come out. Honestly I've had periods where it's seriously looked like " flesh " or something. It was no more traumatic than that.
I also had a surgical before, I was knocked out for it. I couldn't have done it without being knocked out.
I sorta liked the fact with the pill I had privacy to grieve and handle it myself. It made the entire process a bit less evasive.
Pretty_Penny
05-30-2007, 09:15 PM
i've never had an abortion, but i did have a miscarriage about 7 years ago before i ever knew i was pregnant (less than 2 months in). i was on the pill, so i was skipping periods and had no idea till i started to bleed everywhere. i think it might have actualy been the pill that killed it. i was 21 at the time.
i can tell you that immediately following the event i was very emotional. i wouldn't have wanted it even if i -had- known (which is why i was on the pill) but hormones are a bitch and i was pretty weepy and confused for a few weeks.
however, i am -very- glad i didn't have a baby at that age. i'm -still- not sure when i'll be ready, but i know that i would make a better mother now than i would have then. by far.
of course, now i'm 28 and i'm starting to feel rushed. i keep saying to myself "fuck, if i have one in 4 years i'll be 50 when it graduates high school. .. and i don't want to be "too old" to enjoy my kids adult life, grand children, etc.
so there are pros and cons to both having a kid young and having a kid old, but nothing beats having a kid when you've PLANNED it.
now for the harsher stuff....
i worked with children for many years. i worked for a government funded preschool, the boys and girls clubs of america, and also for the school district teaching the severe and profound mentaly and physicaly hanicapped (in a poverty area school).
please let me state first, that i'm not in any way saying that i believe you'll neglect or abuse your child if you choose to have it. however, i do want to tell you what issues you might think are "small" now are really bigger than you think.
can you afford to have a child? i mean -really-? what if the child has a disability? are you ready to deal with that? can you (as mentioned before) handle being a single mom if the dad splits? are you aware of the struggles that single mothers have to go through?
if you're struggling to finanicaly take care of your child, chances are your child will suffer in one way or another. you will be more stressed out, and even if you -try- to be a saint, it still effects the child. you'll spend less time with him or her because you'll be working your ass off. you'll have little to no time "to yourself" in that situation too. forget if you can -handle- that, do you -want- that?
children require more than love. they need your time, your money, your attention, and most of all.. they need you to be a happy and well adjusted person.
so my advice is this, decide wether or not you want to be a mother -now-. not wether or not you want to be a mother "someday". if you decide not to, then research your options for abortion and pick what best suites you. also research mental and physical side effects so that you know how to be prepared.
if you decide that you want to be a mother to this child, put all of that "unplanned" stuff out of your mind IMEDIATELY. tell yourself that you have "changed plans" and that you fully accept this child into your life. do not tell yourself your child was an accident or that it was unwanted. having unwanted children leads to abuse and/or neglect. so if you're going to keep it... decide that you -want- it
Optimist
05-30-2007, 09:30 PM
^^^^Good post.
I just want to say take your time with the decision and you should be fine.
Kaylinn
05-30-2007, 10:21 PM
Excellent post.
I also wanted to add, that if you should choose to have an abortion, don't think that just because you choose to abort that it wont hurt. It still hurts, even tho you didn't want it. Just keep telling yourself it was the right choice. You have to mentally prepare yourself.
Hatshepsut
05-30-2007, 10:28 PM
Excellent post, Penny. It shows a detailed description of the paths that she may decide to take.
Pretty_Penny
05-30-2007, 10:33 PM
Excellent post.
I also wanted to add, that if you should choose to have an abortion, don't think that just because you choose to abort that it wont hurt. It still hurts, even tho you didn't want it. Just keep telling yourself it was the right choice. You have to mentally prepare yourself.
exactly. the choice is a hard one, and either choice is going to come with some rough times. if you choose to abort it, be prepared to go through things you might not have expected to mentally. just keep the logic in your mind as well. remind yourself why you made the choice and in the long run, you'll be glad you did. same as if you have the kid. as long as you take everything into consideration and make a choice based on your heart as well as your mind, you've done the "right" thing.
don't buy that abortion is "selfish" bullshit either. both choices can be selfish. having a baby because you want unconditional love, regaurdless of your means, is selfish as well. i see plenty of mothers in line at the grocery store, using food stamps, with 3 kids all under the age of 7, while she's pregnant. those are the times when i think to myself "now THAT'S selfish". not saying everyone on welfare or food stamps is a bad person. my mom was assisted for quite awhile while she worked 2 jobs when i was a kid. i just think the people who can't feed the kid they already HAVE and keep having more and more are selfish and neglectfull.
honeycake
05-30-2007, 10:42 PM
Best of luck, Lucki! I wish you well, and no matter what decision you make, if it comes from your heart, IT IS THE RIGHT ONE. Don't let ANYONE convince you otherwise. You are strong enough to handle this decision, so have confidence! You will be fine! Be strong! Good luck!
NinaDaisy
05-30-2007, 10:44 PM
^^^^Good post.
I just want to say take your time with the decision and you should be fine.
True, but just not too much time.
Chrissy68
05-30-2007, 10:55 PM
excellent post, penny. really on target.
Pretty_Penny
05-30-2007, 11:07 PM
True, but just not too much time.
yeah unfortunately things are only going to get more complicated. you might want to go see just how far along you are. that way you can know wether you need to -really- rush your choice along, or if you can wait another week or two. i'm not trying to scare you, but i noticed you said you're basing how far you are along by the fact that you've only missed one period. you -can- have a period when you're pregnant. it isn't hugely common, but it does happen. if your period before this one you've missed was unusualy light or shorter, i would worry a bit. you can also have "implantation bleeding" which some women will mistake for a period, although it's usually just some spotting. there's no way to tell for sure how far along you are without going to a doctor. hopefully you're right though, and this missed period was the first one. that would make you about a month. IF that's the case, you can stall a bit. however, if you were pregnant when you had your last period, you could be nearing the 2 month mark, and in that case, it would be time to do something.
carolina6
05-31-2007, 12:28 AM
I hope things turn out for the best for you, no matter what you choose.
I think something very important to consider is having your family's support. I know that if I got pregnant my mom would be there for me and would help me out a lot. A lot of people do not have that family support. There's a difference between doing it alone, without a man, and doing it alone, with no family support at all. Are you close to your parents to where you could talk to them?
It's really hard to look at something like this objectively because it's so emotional. It's hard to not think about how perfect life could be with your child, your man, and a white picket fence. Focus on what is important to you in life. What are your goals? Are you in school or is going to school very important to you? If having a child will keep you from achieving things that you've always dreamed of, then you risk resenting your child forever. That would be sad. It's best to do the things you want to do until you're really ready and you can WANT the child as much as you have ever wanted anything.
Talk to your boyfriend, your best friend, anyone whose opinion you value, and try to talk to a professional too, hopefully someone unbiased.
Whatever choice you make we'll all be here to listen :)
ExtacyInDaytona
05-31-2007, 11:11 AM
I think that's obvious...so why did you feel the need to single me out? I never told her they would be the same, nor did I say that I knew. I commented on being pregnant, which is one thing I know something about, nothing more. Seems like you are mad that I told the OP that it's not anybody's place to judge, which is exactly what YOU did.
And I am considering far more than folic acid supplements when it comes to thinking about my child's future, thank you. Try career modification, financial planning, relocating...etc. Since you don't have kids I assume, I can be childish as well and tell you that you're not in a position to comment on pregnancy or child rearing. Live your life as you would and don't try to tell anyone else what they are going through.
WELL PUT!!!! You tell um!
ExtacyInDaytona
05-31-2007, 11:35 AM
As for lucky charm go with what your heart tells you to do the advise of making the choice as if you would with no father around is great advise. As for having family that will help you should fall into the choice just the same as my boyfriend and i have 2 kids have been together for 6 years and the stress of not having involved grandparents put on us is HUGE the people I know with involved family can take off for a weekend get away to help "rekindle" their relationship. Grandparents who are excited to be grandparents ROCK and i envy parents who have them in their life. We dont have that and it makes it tough! Best of luck to you what ever you decide.
And before you people who search through threads looking for somthing to talk some one down on..........NO I am not implying that its anyone but the parents responcibilty to care for their child!!!!! Just saying that the more help you have and the more breaks available to you the more enjoyable parenting can be. Regardless your age or financial situation.
LuckiCharm
05-31-2007, 11:43 AM
I have an appointment set up next Friday to go to the clinic for the abortion pill. The father has already said he's by me no matter what I decide. I already know my parents will make me feel like shit being that I've already dissapointed them in the past. Me and my bf have plans to go back to school later this year, so I know it wouldn't be right to have a child right now. I'm just glad I can do this early on in the pregnancy. I'm actually a nervous wreck and plenty of support is needed, and I know I can get it from you ladies...thank you so much for everyone who contributed to this thread! I love you all! :)
Good luck with everything, Lucki. I'm glad to see you are making the decision that's best for you.
:hug:
Kaylinn
05-31-2007, 12:00 PM
^^ Me to.
Good luck.
Roulette
05-31-2007, 12:12 PM
Good luck Lucki!! I'm glad you took a hot second to think about it and (it would seem) didn't freak out and thought about your possibilities and thought about it rationally and decided on what was best for you and your life right now. It's good to know that you have your mans support, I'm sorry you wouldnt have your parents.
kandie_kitten
05-31-2007, 12:38 PM
It sounds like you've made the best decision for you.
Just some words of advice for the abortion pill...clear your schedule entirely for the day you take it, and the day or two afterwards. No work, no going out, nothing. The clinic will tell you you'll be fine, and technically you will be, but I guarantee you, you will feel pretty sick.
And not to scare you, but I recommend not being alone when you take it. Have your guy with you, or a close girlfriend. I was with my two friends when they took the pill, and they were completely shocked and unsuspecting with what the process entailed, so they got very scared and panicy, and needed someone to just hold their hand.
If you have any questions of what to expect or what preparations to make, feel free to PM me (I volunteered at a clinic, as well as been with many friends through the process)
I'm sure you'll be fine. I was. Just don't be too hard on yourself.
Miss_Luscious
05-31-2007, 01:19 PM
I have 2 kids, have had 1 abortion and 1 miscarriage. Every single one of those realities is hard.
After my abortion, I was relieved but still a bit sad. You just have to remember that you did the very best thing for you as well as the unborn baby at this time. Get your life they way you want it to be and then have kids. I didn't take this advice myself and I am now living with that decision. The upside is I will only be 39 when my youngest is finally grown!
DylanAngel
05-31-2007, 01:24 PM
Good luck LC. It's not easy, but you made the right decision for you.
I second not being alone when you do it, not only for the physical aspect, but for the emotional.
LuckiCharm
05-31-2007, 02:21 PM
Yea I've already told my bf to clear his schedule for a couple days, because I not only want someone to go with me to get it, but I need major support for the few days afterwards. The lady I talked to at the clinic told me that the cramps are going to be extremly intense and that I'm going to also be sick at my stomach. I'm just nervous now more than anything.
Don't worry, you'll be fine. It'll hurt and the cramps will be bad, but nothing unbearable. Oh, you might need some ginger to sette your stomach after. Crystallized ginger is awesome for that.
TheLioness
05-31-2007, 02:48 PM
I didn't think the cramps were that bad. I slept through them until I had to go pick up my kids from the sitter at 5:00 that day. I took the pill at around 9:00 in the morning and the cramps & bleeding started around 12:30. It was over with rather quickly.
Hatshepsut
05-31-2007, 05:35 PM
I have an appointment set up next Friday to go to the clinic for the abortion pill. The father has already said he's by me no matter what I decide. I already know my parents will make me feel like shit being that I've already dissapointed them in the past. Me and my bf have plans to go back to school later this year, so I know it wouldn't be right to have a child right now. I'm just glad I can do this early on in the pregnancy. I'm actually a nervous wreck and plenty of support is needed, and I know I can get it from you ladies...thank you so much for everyone who contributed to this thread! I love you all! :)
Good for you. I see this as an act of mercy for your child and yourself. I commend you on making the right decision for YOU.
I know that this is easier said than done, but fuck what your parents think. They're not the ones in this dilemma. They aren't the ones faced with the reality of raising a kid without the means to do so. Also, if it's any condolence, I'm not disappointed in you. You seem like a sweet, smart, sensible young lady.
My boyfriend has had to make 2 escorts to the abortion clinic (one was a broken condom, the other was antibiotics while taking birth control pills, it's not that he was careless). He says he wished that he had taken cabs both times, as he was harassed by pro-lifers who very well could have traced his license plate back to his house and further harassed him. Perhaps you should to, to minimize future problems with backseat drivers.
TheLioness
05-31-2007, 06:24 PM
He says he wished that he had taken cabs both times, as he was harassed by pro-lifers who very well could have traced his license plate back to his house and further harassed him. Perhaps you should to, to minimize future problems with backseat drivers.
Or she could just tell them that she's there to pick up bc pills. That's what I did. I guess most picketers don't realize that there is more to an abortion clinic than abortions.
Kaylinn
05-31-2007, 06:36 PM
But aren't pro life against BC pills? because they see BC as preventing a possible birth...
I read somewhere, about prolife, that said BC pills prevent the fertilized egg from implanting ( which it does, if it shoudl happen to g4et fertilized, but that is the last defence, bc prevents an egg from releasing, prevents sperm from meeting, tehre are several things going on)
Anyway. Shoudl the egg release,shoudl that egg become fertilized, and BC prevents that fertilized egg from implanting, that is a form of abortion. since that fertilized egg would have been born into a child.
So most pro lifers are aginast BC to begin with.
I would just tell them all to fuck off. and MYOB.
Or I woudl walk up to each and every one and say, OK. I wont abort. You want to adopt the kid?
ETA: IM sorry this is offtopic. Picketers may not realize that the clinicis ther for more than abortion, but they generally disagree with everythign a clinic does.
Your dong the right thing. Dont let ANYONE sway that. Only you know what's right in yrou heart.
yogibear179
05-31-2007, 06:47 PM
I have an appointment set up next Friday to go to the clinic for the abortion pill. The father has already said he's by me no matter what I decide. I already know my parents will make me feel like shit being that I've already dissapointed them in the past. Me and my bf have plans to go back to school later this year, so I know it wouldn't be right to have a child right now. I'm just glad I can do this early on in the pregnancy. I'm actually a nervous wreck and plenty of support is needed, and I know I can get it from you ladies...thank you so much for everyone who contributed to this thread! I love you all! :)
im glad you were able to make a decicion and that you have a bf that supports you. ;D we all hope for the best! Im sure everything will turn out fine.
oh and do you neeed to tell your parents?
Magdalena_666
05-31-2007, 06:52 PM
I just wanted to wish you luck and let you know I will keep you in my thoughts:hug:
BrunetteGoddess
05-31-2007, 07:18 PM
I disagree that people are picking on Alexxa. Sure, some people are disagreeing with some things she's said, but that doesn't amount to a ganging up, especially since most people who've disagreed have been very civil about it. It's natural that not everyone on a forum will agree, but some of us do seem to take divergence of opinions as something of a personal affront.
No disrespect to Alexxa, but I agree with this.
Moving on...(Im late on everything)
Good luck LC!
gingerlee
05-31-2007, 07:46 PM
Good luck honey. You'll be in my thoughts. :hug:
Optimist
05-31-2007, 08:52 PM
Best wishes on a speedy recovery. You'll be tired and crampy so don't rush back to your routine.
Embyr
06-01-2007, 06:25 AM
Good luck to you, congrats on making a hard decision in a tough time, but you seem as though you've given a lot of thought as to your future and how you want to live your life... i fully applaud informed and well-thought-out decisions, especially in times where others might make decisions that could really re-route their entire life.
i agree w/ hatshepsut here.
LuckiCharm
06-01-2007, 08:21 AM
oh and do you neeed to tell your parents?
Oh no, sorry I worded it wrong, I meant my parents wouldn't support me if I had the baby. They're definitly not gonna know about this.
Thanx everyone, and I'm still wondering why everyone keeps going back to whether or not Alexxa is being "picked on"... She gave good advice, she left the thread, some people agreed with her and some didn't. I appreciate EVERYONE who posted in this thread, so let's leave it at that. :)
Pretty_Penny
06-01-2007, 10:08 AM
you'll be fine. the girls i know who've done the pill have pretty much compared it to anything from a really bad period to the stomach flu. from what i understand the symptoms can range in level of intensity, but everything should be over in a day, maybe two to fully get rid of the "icky" feeling. i've never heard of anything terrible happening though. it's a fairly safe process.
the best advice i can give is to eat healthy and get a good night's sleep the night before. your body will be better able to handle the stress if you're in good shape, and that means less symptoms for you.
oh and, you might wanna go to the store before hand and pikc up some gingerale (as was mentioned) and maybe some crackers and things that are easy on your stomach. some anti-dehydration liquids might be a good idea too.. like pedialite. it's "for kids" but it doesn't matter. it just replaces the electrolites your body loses when you throw up or ...otherwise. i'm not saying that'll happen, since it doesnt happen to everyone, but it -can- and you probably want to be ready just in case. that way you don't have to worry about anything but staying in bed and recovering.