View Full Version : I'm pregnant...
yogibear179
06-01-2007, 10:25 AM
^ wow great advice!
Roulette
06-01-2007, 10:35 AM
Penny I think you are a very valuable SW member, you always have really good things to say!!! Sorry that was OT, but I just wanted to let you know.
Pretty_Penny
06-01-2007, 10:54 AM
you guys are too kind. <3
Viviana
06-01-2007, 12:32 PM
I hope everything goes well for you *HUGS*
Cyndi08
06-01-2007, 12:39 PM
I got pregnant at 19 and had an abortion. It was the most selfish thing I ever did. I wish I could take it back, but then again, I don't know what my life would be like if I had kept the child. I certainly would not be in graduate school, but it's a very hard thing to deal with. I have never met a mother who wished she'd had an abortion, but I've seen a lot of the reverse.
Do what's right for you. There is always adoption as a valid option for you. When I considered adoption for myself, I felt all this shame that my family would have placed on me if they had known. I was really worried about what they would have thought, but looking back I wished I had not felt that way. The fear. It's not a good thing, to worry about what others think when you are put in this position.
Cyndi08
06-01-2007, 12:43 PM
oh, and I did not use the pill to abort as I heard it was really traumatic. I had the bf go with me and drive me, they sedated me with an IV so I was barely aware.. almost anesthesia, then he took me home and I slept all day with a pad on. That was it, barely any pain and no embryo/fetus to deal with myself.
Cyndi08
06-01-2007, 12:46 PM
and one last thing... I got pregnant on the "pull out" method. We had a long distance relationship and had sex ONE TIME that month. Just fyi for anyone who thinks that's an okay method to use.
As opposed to Cyndi, I have several friends who say they love their child but wish they had chosen abortion. I also have friends who've had abortions, had a child later after saying they could never go through an abortion again, and then say they should have gotten an abortion, or had a second one years later after having a child after getting pregnant after the first abortion. Wow, that looks confusing re-reading it.
Anyway, I'm glad you chose what is right for you, did not let anyone influence you, and fully analyzed the situation before making a descision. We are all here for you, and wish you a speedy recovery. *HUGS*
kylie3183
06-01-2007, 02:14 PM
I've done both. I had an abortion, and then had a child. And I'm glad I did what I did. It was the right choice for me. I was not ready for a baby the first time, nor was it good timing with the bf situation. If I'd had that baby, I don't think I would have my daughter now, and I'm glad I do. I think things will work out for the best. While abortion can be emotional and sad, sometimes it's the right thing for you to do.
I also did the pill, and it was very painful for me. But then again, I had been puking everyday til then, so I was having a hard pregnancy anyways. There was alot of cramping and throwing up, but as soon as it was over, I felt fine other than being a little tired. I got up and ate chinese right after. Which I might add was the first thing I'd been able to keep down in a month and a half. Be prepared for the amount of clotting that you may have. I was surprised by all of the clotting. I wasn't expecting it to be so bad.
Good luck, and congratulations on making the right decision for yourself right now.
Cyndi08
06-01-2007, 02:30 PM
That's scary... the clotting. My mom had trouble with excessive clotting (heavy period) and it landed her in the hospital with a blood transfusion.
I would not recommend the pill after seeing my mom go through that. If she can get that from a period, I don't want to know the risks of aborting at home. That's frightening to me. I'm glad I was in the clinic and they took care of everything, no vomiting or cramps, etc. Mild bleeding and lots of sleeping due to drugs given in the clinic.
NinaDaisy
06-01-2007, 11:23 PM
I'm glad to hear that you've made a decision based on all the facts Lucki.
Be good to yourself over the coming weeks, and be careful in the future so you don't have to go through this again.
Be well... :-)
Pretty_Penny
06-02-2007, 12:31 PM
"I have never met a mother who wished she'd had an abortion"
i've never met a mother who wishes the child she had was never born or wishes her child were dead.
but i -have- met plenty of mothers who've told me that although they love their child, they wish that had waited or had an abortion.
my own mother has told me that. in fact, i almost -was- an abortion. my mom went to the clinic and walked out of the appointment. she's really glad she had me, but she wishes she had waited. my life (and hers) was HELL for many many years because she didn't wait. of course one could say that i should be pro-life since i was almost an abortion. the way i look at it is this:
of course i'm glad i'm alive. i'm glad my mom didn't abort me. HOWEVER, i aready exist. if i had been aborted, her life would have been different. no one can say for sure how different, but i know she would have went to college and i know she would have left my abusive father earlier. i would have never been born, so i doubt i would have felt angry or mad or sad about it.
also, had "i" (even though i'm aware it wouldn't be "me") been born at a time when my mom was more prepared (she was 17) there's a really great chance i wouldn't have suffered through the many things i did.
cameron_keys
06-02-2007, 03:12 PM
"I have never met a mother who wished she'd had an abortion"
i've never met a mother who wishes the child she had was never born or wishes her child were dead.
I have. On all three counts. The child in question was neglectedabused and eventually, thankfully, taken away from her.
I terminated when I was 17. While it was the most difficult decision i have ever made, and still haunts me to this day(in fact..I was just thinking yesterday the unbelievable thoght that had I had that baby..my child would be graduating from high school next year...I cant even imagine that)...it for me was certainly not selfish. I was absolutely not in any position to care for a child...nor would I have been able to carry one for 9 months, give birth, then give it up. I would have ended up in a mental ward. Not to mention the very real possibility that I would either not have been able to carry to term( my doctor has since told me that if I ever do want children...my chances are slim to none of being able to carry one because of my physical conditions) or would have risked passing on my physical problems, which I woudl never wish on anyone.
Lucki..you made a reasonable, informed decision. Take the time you will need to heal..physically and mentally.You are in my thoughts honey.
Pretty_Penny
06-02-2007, 07:20 PM
I have. On all three counts. The child in question was neglectedabused and eventually, thankfully, taken away from her.
I terminated when I was 17. While it was the most difficult decision i have ever made, and still haunts me to this day(in fact..I was just thinking yesterday the unbelievable thoght that had I had that baby..my child would be graduating from high school next year...I cant even imagine that)...it for me was certainly not selfish. I was absolutely not in any position to care for a child...nor would I have been able to carry one for 9 months, give birth, then give it up. I would have ended up in a mental ward. Not to mention the very real possibility that I would either not have been able to carry to term( my doctor has since told me that if I ever do want children...my chances are slim to none of being able to carry one because of my physical conditions) or would have risked passing on my physical problems, which I woudl never wish on anyone.
Lucki..you made a reasonable, informed decision. Take the time you will need to heal..physically and mentally.You are in my thoughts honey.
my point was that you won't normaly meet people who wish their child was dead. obviously people like that exist. i'm just saying that it's much more common for mothers to wish they had waited, or say that (although they'd never wish harm on their child) they should have had an abortion. also, i was quoting someone else in the start of the thread, i just didn't used ""s instead of the quote feature because i'm lazy. :)
i hope lucky posts here again soon, so we can know she's ok.
Hatshepsut
06-02-2007, 08:42 PM
my point was that you won't normaly meet people who wish their child was dead. obviously people like that exist. i'm just saying that it's much more common for mothers to wish they had waited, or say that (although they'd never wish harm on their child) they should have had an abortion. also, i was quoting someone else in the start of the thread, i just didn't used ""s instead of the quote feature because i'm lazy. :)
i hope lucky posts here again soon, so we can know she's ok.
So basically it was mistake, but not a regret, or vice versa, or something?
cameron_keys
06-02-2007, 08:50 PM
my point was that you won't normaly meet people who wish their child was dead. obviously people like that exist. i'm just saying that it's much more common for mothers to wish they had waited, or say that (although they'd never wish harm on their child) they should have had an abortion. also, i was quoting someone else in the start of the thread, i just didn't used ""s instead of the quote feature because i'm lazy. :)
Oh..I know..I didnt mean to imply otherwise. I was just saying that I HAVE met someone who thought those things and what a sad sad thing that was
Pretty_Penny
06-02-2007, 10:43 PM
So basically it was mistake, but not a regret, or vice versa, or something?
yes... meaning that many women i've known think their lives, and their future childrens lives, would have been better if they had waited. it just doesn't mean they hate their kids or wish they weren't "alive".
Sunshine73
06-02-2007, 11:29 PM
Lucki, be true to yourself and do what you feel in your heart is best, be it having the baby, adoption, or abortion. I'll be thinking of you.
Since we are sharing our experiences, I'll share mine...
My son was a surprise. I was 27 when I got pregnant. No, I wasn't exactly "ready" ( a lot of times I think children come when THEY are ready...not necessarily when you are), but I knew that I wanted him and I knew I wanted to be a mother. I did what I had to do to step up and prepare and take responsibility, because I knew in my heart that my son was here for a reason and I wanted to respect that. So I got my shit together and had him. I will say that I'm very happy with the choice I made, I do not wish it happened later, he came to this earth when he did for a reason, and motherhood has been very rewarding. NO, IT IS NOT EASY, but he's worth it. I'm glad I made this choice but I know that what was best for me and my child is not best for everyone, so like I said before...do what you feel in your heart is best. ::hugs::
TheLioness
06-03-2007, 06:08 PM
But aren't pro life against BC pills? because they see BC as preventing a possible birth...
I read somewhere, about prolife, that said BC pills prevent the fertilized egg from implanting ( which it does, if it shoudl happen to g4et fertilized, but that is the last defence, bc prevents an egg from releasing, prevents sperm from meeting, tehre are several things going on)
Anyway. Shoudl the egg release,shoudl that egg become fertilized, and BC prevents that fertilized egg from implanting, that is a form of abortion. since that fertilized egg would have been born into a child.
So most pro lifers are aginast BC to begin with.
I would just tell them all to fuck off. and MYOB.
Or I woudl walk up to each and every one and say, OK. I wont abort. You want to adopt the kid?
ETA: IM sorry this is offtopic. Picketers may not realize that the clinicis ther for more than abortion, but they generally disagree with everythign a clinic does.
Your dong the right thing. Dont let ANYONE sway that. Only you know what's right in yrou heart.
I know that certain bc options, like the copper IUD allow the egg to be fertilized. But to my knowledge the pill & things like that do not. The Mirena IUD doesn't allow fertilization. The only reason I know this is because my ob/gyn is pro life and he won't pass out bc that allows fertilization.
Maybe she'll get lucky and not have to deal with picketers. We can only hope :)
Lysondra
06-03-2007, 06:27 PM
I know that certain bc options, like the copper IUD allow the egg to be fertilized. But to my knowledge the pill & things like that do not. The Mirena IUD doesn't allow fertilization. The only reason I know this is because my ob/gyn is pro life and he won't pass out bc that allows fertilization.
Maybe she'll get lucky and not have to deal with picketers. We can only hope :)
"Hi, I have a job that I won't do because of my beliefs."
..wtf?
TheLioness
06-03-2007, 06:55 PM
"Hi, I have a job that I won't do because of my beliefs."
..wtf?
Yeah, I know lol. He's kinda weird too. But he's VERY thorough with any problems/questions I have so I still go there. He wouldn't even do my choice of "permanent" bc because he didn't think it had been out long enough to know what the long term risks were. I had to go to another doc to get it done :-\
Pretty_Penny
06-03-2007, 07:09 PM
i would -never- have an obgyn who outwardly claimed to be pro-life. i mean, everyone has a right to their opinion on the matter. i just wouldn't feel comfortable with a doctor who has a strong religious/moral opinion on what i should with my body.
honeycake
06-04-2007, 01:38 PM
good luck, Lucki!
Lola Rose
06-05-2007, 01:09 PM
Maybe that doc got into it for family planning and birthing babies/ helping women concieve.
there are actors who won't accept roles that make them curse G-d, same thing, imo!
if they can do it and are honest about it, more power to them all.
LuckiCharm
06-05-2007, 01:24 PM
Just posting to let everyone know that I'm still going with the abortion pill, and I'm doing ok. Except for the fact that I feel nausious all the time and I've been throwing up (which I HATE doing). I had to make my appt for Tuesday instead of Friday. I'm pretty nervous, but you guys have made me feel a hell of alot better than I would have had I not made this thread. I'll let you know what happens! Thanx again!
AlexxaHex
06-05-2007, 04:44 PM
There is this stuff I took that really helped me with my nausea. It's called Morning Sickness Magic - you can google it and it will give you store locations in your area on the website.
If you can't find it, ginger and mint are great for alleviating it too. The MSM is basically ginger and a few other things that help.
Hope everything turns out well for you. Please take care.
RoseLeigh
06-05-2007, 05:32 PM
Those seasickness bands also help. Thankfully the nausea will go away pretty quickly after it's all over. *hug*
Rose Leigh
Roulette
06-05-2007, 06:29 PM
:hug: glad we could help!!!
Kaiyla
06-05-2007, 07:14 PM
I really sympathize with the nausea..I hate it too and am severely emetophobic. The upside of this, is I know two super effective anti-emetics if you can get ahold of them, if you are continuing to struggle until Tuesday.
1. Emetrol.
It's a cherry (or lemon) flavored anti-nausea over the counter med that you can buy in any drug store. I live by the stuff. It is the syrup in coke that soothes the tummy when its upset. This stuff has saved my ass so many times
2. Ativan/Lorazepam
It's an anti-anxiety med a doc may prescribe to you. Also has an anti-emetic effect since it's relaxing chemicals kick around in the center of the brain that controls vomiting. Ativan "brings you down" from that panicky state you're in right before you get sick.
Compazine is pretty easy to obtain from a doc and it an anti-nausea med. It worked for me but I really disliked that it made me feel soooo out of it and really restless the day after I took it. But Emetrol and Ativan have helped me immensely with not vomiting in the past.
flickad
06-05-2007, 10:50 PM
One of my housemates uses a prescription anti-nauseant called Maxillon. It works very well without any noticeable side-effects.
Embyr
06-05-2007, 10:54 PM
There is this stuff I took that really helped me with my nausea. It's called Morning Sickness Magic - you can google it and it will give you store locations in your area on the website.
If you can't find it, ginger and mint are great for alleviating it too. The MSM is basically ginger and a few other things that help.
Hope everything turns out well for you. Please take care.
*ahem* MSM referring to Morning Sickness Magic... NOT MSM (methylsulfonylmethane) the naturally occurring sulfur in between joints. (sorry, i had to point this out- I read it and thought- "but that doesn't help w/ nausea...")
Lysondra
06-05-2007, 10:55 PM
One of my housemates uses a prescription anti-nauseant called Maxillon. It works very well without any noticeable side-effects.
BE CAREFUL... this stuff gave me seizures. :/
Embyr
06-05-2007, 11:02 PM
high-dose magnesium helps in a bind... helped me a few times w/ morning after pill.
flickad
06-05-2007, 11:17 PM
BE CAREFUL... this stuff gave me seizures. :/
Wow, I didn't know it had that side-effect. She sings its praises, so I assumed it was fairly risk-free.
jaizaine
06-05-2007, 11:24 PM
^^
I always have them on hand. I cant stand feeling nauseas because it then leads to a panic attack coz I am a bit freaky when it comes to my body.
Lysondra
06-05-2007, 11:24 PM
^ it's rare, but it happens. I freak out every time I get nauseated and someone recommends it, though.. 'cause I was awake for those seizures :(
kittenkat
06-06-2007, 12:40 AM
Dramamine can help with nausea from RU-486 or plan B, BTW. As with ANy medication, call up your doc first and make sure it's OK. also, ANY medication have side effects. MPeople die from taking tylenol every year. any time you are taking new medication and start having problems, discontinue use and talk to a doc immediately.
I didn't see this until today, but good luck Lucki. There is an unplanned pregnancy sticky in this section- there are hotlines that you can call if you need to speak to someone non-judgmental about your abortion, even after you have one. It's a great line that many ppl I know have used.
*hugs and take care*
pennygirl
06-06-2007, 06:40 AM
only YOU can do what's right for you cause all our situations are different but i'll share my little story just for one of many options to think over.. so when i was 22 i was in a bad relationship and got pregnant.. i was on the pill but taking it sporatic and was on antibiotics for a throat thing and clueless they counteract the pill.. so anyways at 22 bad relationship, not married got pregnant.
My boyfriend spent weeks telling me to abort.. he was going to join the army or something (he never did) saying he wouldnt be around.. said to adopt the kid out would be wrong because he would be mixed race and hard to place.. just dumped guilt on me from every angle.. for ME i didnt want to abort so decided to make a go at it on my own if that was the deal..
I was in school and working evenings at one of those piddly jobs that paid crap...
But I had my mom to lean on ..
I moved in with her .. continued school and eventually quit the evening job living off WIC and spare change i found around the house to pay for gas.. I had no money.. my mom didnt charge me rent and i ate WIC and her food.. looking back i wonder how in the world i managed because i had a truck and somehow i kept it up and paid insurance.. i still dont know how i did that..
So anyways.. got preg in NOV and by Christmas my boyfriend and i got back together.. I still lived with my mom though..
So anyways I had my son .. my boyfriend lost his job we both moved in with my mom in her tiny one bedroom apt.. and had my son
My boyfriend worked his butt off studying unix things and got a good computer job .. we moved out together and i stayed home with the baby..
It was a nightmare.. he wasnt abusive at all but i wasnt happy and he spent all his money on his needs like racking up a phone bill in my name in internet porn.. going out with friends.. phone bill was never paid on time.. he was always calling the landlord with some lame excuse of why we were late with rent saying stuff like my son was in the hospital and we had those bills.. just stupid stuff
By Jan the next year I moved back in with my mom by myself.. this was in Jan .. by Feb i had a temp job and my son's dad worked nights so would watch my son during the day while i worked.. he also would pay $300 child support (we didnt see the courts just agreed to it) .. my mom charged me now $300 a month for rent she was definitly using Tough Love... my temp job was $9 an hour
Basically after a month my sons dad lost his job and quit paying $300 a month.. i was working the temp job and it was one of those things if you are there late you are gone.. and my son's dad was horrible watching him for me during the day.. Id get there before work with my son and a bag and he wouldnt answer the door so id beg my mom to watch him for me so I could get to work... I definitly didnt have money for daycare.. eventually begged my sister to watch him for me .. for another $300 a month.. she had a daughter my son's age and another one that was just a few months old and was already drained.. but i needed reliable care for him so i could work so she agreed... My son's dad sent me hate emails... hate phone calls.. and would say things like he wanted to see our son and then never show up ... So now Im 23 living with my mom in her one bedroom (im living on a mattress in her dining room) paying her rent.. paying my sister for child care and working a temp job that could end at any moment.. plus just having a child is HARD i never even babysat so it was all new to me...
FAST forward.. my job turned perm and payed reasonable.. I lived with my mom still and she eventually said no more rent payment (she did in the beginning that tough love thing but when saw i was working and taking care of my son she let the rent slide) ... My social life sucked.. couldnt bring anyone to her house.. couldnt go out after work when everyone went because i had to go pick up my son and take care of him.. eventually around 25 I felt secure enough to get my own apartment... before this I had also delt with depression and seeing a shrink and being on meds for a year... so anyways eventually got off the meds.. work was going well.. my son was doing well.. earned enough to move him to daycare.. got my own place (a one bedroom so gave my son the bedroom and i slept in a pull out sofa)
Social life still sucked.. i learned even in my own place i attracted the wrong guys.. noone wanted the single parent thing.. and i didnt want them coming over and making out and stuff with my son there.. so basically again no social life and my 20's are almost over! OH and I havent had any child support from my son's dad
Eventually he gets work.. we go to the courts get child support in place.. he finally watches him regularly every other weekend..still a nightmare as drop off and pick ups were just time for him to scream at me and tell me what a horrible parent and person i am.. but then got someone to always be with me during drop off and pick up times to nitch that...
So anyways.. pretty bad life huh? went through my 20's with no social life just bad hurtful relationships one after another... but at 29 bought my own place.. a small townhome with 2 rooms for dirt cheap in a rundown neighborhood
Things are killer better for me now.. Im 34 and married very happily and the kind soul wanted me to quit work so for once in my life i could live money stress free and take care of my son like be there when he gets home from school.. stuff like that..
But above all.. i wouldnt ever do things differently... My son gives me something ive never found in anyone even family .. its a love for him i just cant explain
He's now 12 and each year just enhances my life so much deep down inside
Fortunatly though things were hard he was always "Safe" and had his needs emotionally and physcially met... If that wasnt the case I wouldnt of tried to keep him ..that is not fair to him
Just saying my story in case you decide to just go this alone and have the child.. im sure i'm not alone but know that at least one person out in this world - me - was able to do it and has no regrets and am a better person for it
good luck and listen to your gut .. and dont let guilt or fear sway you do what's right for you
pennygirl
06-06-2007, 06:42 AM
SORRY i made this post without reading ALL the threads.. its a little late
Roulette
06-06-2007, 10:38 AM
BE CAREFUL... this stuff gave me seizures. :/
sexy seizures...
austinatalie
06-06-2007, 02:43 PM
oy pennygirl, I'm not sure what you wanted to accomplish with your post there. It just reaffirms for me that my belly is a baby-free zone indefinitely!