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ChubbyChaser
06-02-2007, 07:49 AM
Joking after a slow night:

“Damn, I was giving five dollar blow jobs on the couches and everything!”
“I charge Ten!”
“Ten? You must deep throat!”
“Yep!”
“I charge ten, because I have to give the club seven!”
“No, no, it’s hand jobs on the couches, head in the VIP!”
“So that’s why I never sell any VIPs!”
“What? Blow jobs?! All this time I’ve been taking it up the ass dry in there!”

“I only made $100!”
“Poor baby, is your jaw sore?”

aussiepunkshocker
06-02-2007, 08:27 PM
^^^ JFC!

I dont have much but ages ago two girls came to work at my old club together and at the end of the night they were having a friendly squabble which resulted in one girl pulling out her phone and yelling "Hey everyone look at ***** getting arse-fucked by this guy!" she shoved the phone in my face for me to watch and after a few seconds exclaimed "Hey, hang on, that sounds like my voice - OMG thats my arse being fucked!"

miss marina
06-02-2007, 09:16 PM
“I only made $100!”
“Poor baby, is your jaw sore?”

niiiiice lol

Minette
06-02-2007, 10:22 PM
Inspired by the hilarious website Overheard in New York (http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/), this is Overheard in the Dressing Room.

I went and checked out the overheard in newyork website - my evening has officially been a complete loss as a result. Damn you, Yek, damn you! ;)

shane333
06-02-2007, 10:42 PM
It was a good reminder why I wipe EVERYTHING down on stage, not just the pole:

1st girl: I hate dancing with my period.
2nd girl: It's not as bad as dancing with a yeast infection. I had one really bad once but I still had to dance. I had to use a tampon because of the discharge.
1st girl: Oh, I have to wear a tampon all the time. Otherwise stuff runs down my leg.

I must have had the worst look of horror on my face as I packed up my stuff and ran out of there.

burnedrose
06-02-2007, 11:46 PM
Girl 1: Oh my god, I just got my period all over this guy when giving him a lap dance and its all over his khakis!
Girl 2: (after giving the same guy a lap dance) OH! I thought that was red marks from me smacking my ass!
At this point, all the girls left the dressing room to go find the guy with red bloodstains on his pants.


---------
Girl 1: Damn, does anyone have a tampon?
Girl 2: no, why?
me: *blink blink* oh my god.

madmaxine
06-03-2007, 04:21 PM
"Yeah, I have relatives there too, I grew up north of that city! Have you ever been to the Coast? It's great. I really like this club, you'll have fun auditioning..."

(Spoken while I shaved the crotch of a female customer- she came in with a group of friends, bought a costume from the wardrobe guy, and needed to shave her crotch to wear the G-String for an Amateur Audition- I had a new razor, so I offered. We were chatting while I shaved her....)

Korina
06-03-2007, 04:32 PM
I walked into the bathroom and caught a fellow dancer mainlining.

Off subject: She did clean up and she was really beautiful, like a more curvy Rose McGowan. She was engaged to the owner. At 23, she blew her brains out. (gun not drugs).

kylie3183
06-03-2007, 04:35 PM
girl 1: So was this a prosperous evening for you?
girl 2: Huh?
girl 1: Was this a prosperous evening?
girl 2: Huh? I can't understanding you.
girl 1: (a little slower and louder) Was this a prosperous evening for you?
girl 2: I still don't understand you.
girl 1: For fuck sake, Did you make money tonight?
girl 2: Shit girl, you even talk like a teacher.

LatinaRose
06-03-2007, 04:58 PM
On my first night at the club I was most intimidated at the prettiest most intimidating girl walked back and said to her friend, "So and so fucked me in the ass last night so hard it hurts to fart." Lol, I'll never forget that.

miss marina
06-03-2007, 05:05 PM
^"so hard it hurts to fart" hahah i just almost spit out my starbucks. i love this thread!!

cameron_keys
06-03-2007, 05:11 PM
"Yeah, I have relatives there too, I grew up north of that city! Have you ever been to the Coast? It's great. I really like this club, you'll have fun auditioning..."

(Spoken while I shaved the crotch of a female customer- she came in with a group of friends, bought a costume from the wardrobe guy, and needed to shave her crotch to wear the G-String for an Amateur Audition- I had a new razor, so I offered. We were chatting while I shaved her....)

You shaved the crotch of a complete stranger?? :O Damn...you're a nicer person then me!!

cameron_keys
06-03-2007, 05:15 PM
OOO..how could I forget this story....

Girl..defending herself aainst allegations of being a hooker...which she totally was...this was a SKANKY club..still is..and this chick had crack whore written across her head. Missing teeth and all. Several guys would take both me and her to the champagne room because she would blow them(and swallow...ewwwwwww) but the guys couldnt bring themselves to look at her. So I would sit next to them so the guy could look at me....I was a Hooker Fluffer!!

anyway..

she said she was NOT a whore. That she was a good girl. Because a guy offered her $700 to fuck her ass and she said NO. BUT...she went to the kitchen, got a cup of melted butter and lubed her ass up with it and let the guy do her ass with the glass tube off his cigar.
But she didnt let him put his dick in...so shes a GOOD girl.

I was so glad to leave that club.

blondhottie
06-03-2007, 06:38 PM
Dancer (nice girl but not very bright): "Hey! I sold 53 drinks so far this week. How many more do I need to sell to make my bonus? What's 100 minus 53?"

Dancer: "Oh my god, my pussy is so sore. I got fucked so hard last night. My husband has the biggest dick ever. Hey Jess, come here and look at this pic of my hubby's dick on my phone!"
Me (thinking she's exaggerating): "Oh my god, he really does have a big dick!"

Dancer: "I just took a huge dump. Jess, come look at my turds, they look funny."
Me: "Uh, no thanks. I think I'll pass." (laughing hysterically)

Lena
06-03-2007, 07:00 PM
Last night, catching up with people I haven't danced with in a year:

"And my fucking husband was fucking a fucking eighteen year old! I don't get it, he was soooo sweet when we started dating. I mean, he had that little rough patch where he'd be gone on drugs for weeks at a time, but I thought he was all straightened out after he went to jail and got this really good PO..."

PorschaM
06-03-2007, 07:43 PM
one dancer to another in dressing room last night-
"I NEVER have sex with boyfriends, why give it up for free, shittttt"


If only their boyfriends knew how lucky they were.


It was a good reminder why I wipe EVERYTHING down on stage, not just the pole:

How exactly do you do that? It must be hard working a mop and bucket of bleach into each set. :P

Picaresque
06-04-2007, 08:45 AM
also, asking for condoms while working there.

lol, is there anyone here that hasn't heard some variation of that? :laughing:

Actually until last week, I had never heard anything about condoms...believe it or not, the club I've been at for the past 2 years is VERY clean and very well-monitored. Large-scale extras (i.e. sex) really don't happen.

The club I just started at, though...well...I've seen more than a few girls getting fingered right out in the LD room. And then last week, from a lovely and charming new girl, "so...i guess you don't...like...bring in condoms...? i mean, can I get away with...you know...?"

I told her the only reason to bring condoms to work is if she wants to have some fun with one of the bouncers after the club closes. :P

Kaylinn
06-04-2007, 08:52 AM
Last night:

How do you spell disgrace?
Uhh.....grace with dis in front?
D i s or D i z?

tanyadancer1976
06-04-2007, 10:38 AM
This is the first day I ever danced. It was a dive, and the dressing room was about the size of a small broom closet...


Girl #1 (said while licking up some coke that someone else had sprinkled on a dirty dressing room table, could barely even see it was there it was so little,lol) Damn look at that crack whore, smoking that shit, what the fuck is wrong with people?

Girl#2 Said crackwhore looks up, glares at her, turns faced into corner to finish smoking

Girl#1 Dammit, this isnt coke, who the fuck spilled there eyeshadow again?


I never went back...

shane333
06-04-2007, 12:25 PM
How exactly do you do that? It must be hard working a mop and bucket of bleach into each set. :P

Man, if I could work that into my set I would do it in a second. I wipe down the pole and the parts of the rack that get sat on. We have Windex AND spray cleaner up on stage, and I make use of them both.

cameron_keys
06-04-2007, 12:45 PM
Man, if I could work that into my set I would do it in a second. I wipe down the pole and the parts of the rack that get sat on. We have Windex AND spray cleaner up on stage, and I make use of them both.

Ok....images of going on stage in a french maid costume...mopping the stage!!

xbloodydewdropx
06-04-2007, 04:48 PM
This is the first day I ever danced. It was a dive, and the dressing room was about the size of a small broom closet...


Girl #1 (said while licking up some coke that someone else had sprinkled on a dirty dressing room table, could barely even see it was there it was so little,lol) Damn look at that crack whore, smoking that shit, what the fuck is wrong with people?

Girl#2 Said crackwhore looks up, glares at her, turns faced into corner to finish smoking

Girl#1 Dammit, this isnt coke, who the fuck spilled there eyeshadow again?


I never went back...

LOL! That is priceless :)

mina loy
06-05-2007, 09:15 PM
"i'm going to use extacy to lose weight!"

flickad
06-05-2007, 10:31 PM
^

And people wonder where the dumb stripper stereotype comes from.

jaizaine
06-05-2007, 10:54 PM
^^^ JFC!

I dont have much but ages ago two girls came to work at my old club together and at the end of the night they were having a friendly squabble which resulted in one girl pulling out her phone and yelling "Hey everyone look at ***** getting arse-fucked by this guy!" she shoved the phone in my face for me to watch and after a few seconds exclaimed "Hey, hang on, that sounds like my voice - OMG thats my arse being fucked!"

:laughing: :laughing:

mina loy
06-06-2007, 01:27 AM
^

And people wonder where the dumb stripper stereotype comes from.

i wondered that myself. then being around other strippers confirmed it.

Kaylinn
06-06-2007, 07:03 AM
years ago, at my club in WV.

2 strippers sitting on the floor of the dressing room, one stripper with her legs spread wide open, the other girl leaning down, examinign her pussy.
" you see thoes bumps? What are they? Razor burn?"
" I dont think it's razor burn, I have razor burn, and it never looked like that"
" well, what do you think it could be?"
" Hmm... dont know,( as she starts touching the bupms and poking them) Maybe its a rash from grinding to much. Maybe its a yeast infection on the outside."

The stripper who was touching that girls "bumps" never washed her hands.

Umm.....herpes? that ever cross your mind?

jaizaine
06-06-2007, 07:07 AM
A dancer who used to work with me once got her pussy licked by an overexcited female patron sitting at the tip rail. She pulled her g-string to the side and this customer leapt forward and licked it.

Back in the dressing room some of the other dancers were telling the licked dancer that she should sterilise her vagina in case the customer had an std. So the dancer asked what she should use to sterilise it and they told her to wash it with someone's discarded bacardi breezer that was sitting on the bench! It was half empty.

austinatalie
06-06-2007, 04:58 PM
eww these last few posts are gross!

miss marina
06-06-2007, 06:54 PM
Girl#1 Dammit, this isnt coke, who the fuck spilled there eyeshadow again?

:laughing:

miss marina
06-06-2007, 06:56 PM
A dancer who used to work with me once got her pussy licked by an overexcited female patron sitting at the tip rail. She pulled her g-string to the side and this customer leapt forward and licked it.


:O ewwwww...idk how i missed this post at first

Lysondra
06-06-2007, 07:12 PM
Cokehead girl: Oh my god!!!
Me: What?
Girl: My hand smells like doritos!
Me: You're eating doritos...
Girl: Yes.. but my hand.. it SMELLS like Doritos!
Me: Do the doritos smell like doritos?
Girl: *sniffs them* Oh my god, they DO!!


..wtf?

miss marina
06-06-2007, 07:19 PM
LOL okayyy

Lysondra
06-06-2007, 07:26 PM
I should point out this is the same girl that thought she was younger than me becuase she was born in May and I was born in July... and since 5 is smaller than 7, she was younger.

Roulette
06-06-2007, 07:34 PM
^^^ my cousin was convinced he was older than me for the same reason.... when we were 5 and 6... he was an idiot, and apparently so is that girl.

miss marina
06-07-2007, 02:53 AM
LOL i have never heard of such a thing! how the hell do these people make it in life? good lord.

Lysondra
06-07-2007, 03:22 AM
^ By becoming strippers!!

*dum da dum!*

Crow2
06-07-2007, 08:56 AM
Overexcited stripper jiggles in the dressing room: I got'a present!
( the gift is obviously a box of Godiva chocolates)

All the rest of us sitting in the dressing room: Ooooh!
Overexcited stripper: Look! It's a box of Go-Diva candy!!


I swear I had to get up and leave, the running joke the rest of the night was " Go-Diva, Go-Diva"

PaigeDWinter
06-07-2007, 09:18 AM
Ok....images of going on stage in a french maid costume...mopping the stage!!


I once vacuumed the stage when I first started dancing... carpeted stage yanno... and then some guys walked in so... I just took off my top and kept going.

;D;D;D

kylie3183
06-07-2007, 09:44 AM
I once vacuumed the stage when I first started dancing... carpeted stage yanno... and then some guys walked in so... I just took off my top and kept going.

;D;D;D

That's strangely really hot.;D

carolina6
06-08-2007, 12:14 AM
The other night a girl wanted to change her stage name to Cheyenne and asked how to spell it. She then insisted that I was wrong, because "The city and the name are spelled differently." Haha. Spell it however you want!

blaze_n_hot
06-08-2007, 12:26 AM
"I don't like that new girl's attitude. You know how she gets all those private shows? She be asking for 'em!"

This was said by one girl at my club about new girl that was banking from doing a bunch of private dances. Apparently it offended her that the new girl was hustling by asking cuties if they wanted to do a private show, instead of waiting for the custie to bring it up.

Whiskey
06-08-2007, 12:44 AM
At one particular club I worked in the lap dance couches and the dressing rooms were right next to each other (what a mistake this was, but it was a very new club) seperated by a curtain. As I gave a customer a dance I realized the speakers had yet again been turned up so loud I could barely hear him speak to me. As I had been told that we could turn these down I hoped it would not affect the one in the dressing room. It did not and I wished it had, for one experienced dancer was preparing to go on stage the new girl was asking her questions at the top of her lungs...
Newb:"What do you do when you are on your period?"
Dancer:"Work."
Newb:"I guess we can't wear pads when we work?"
Dancer:"That is where tampons come in."
Newb:"How does that work?"
Dancer: (seeming aggitated now)"Cut the sting or stuff it in there all they way so it can't be seen and do cooter checks periodically to make sure."
Newb:"How do I get it back out....?"
At this point I turned the speaker back up as far as I could stand it with enough embarrassment for my customer and those two ladies... I wanted to crawl under the couch, especialy when the gentleman I was sitting on preceded to ask me if I was on my period as well and how that works for me.

miss marina
06-08-2007, 12:51 AM
Overexcited stripper jiggles in the dressing room: I got'a present!
( the gift is obviously a box of Godiva chocolates)

All the rest of us sitting in the dressing room: Ooooh!
Overexcited stripper: Look! It's a box of Go-Diva candy!!


I swear I had to get up and leave, the running joke the rest of the night was " Go-Diva, Go-Diva"

LMAO!

LatinaRose
06-08-2007, 08:28 AM
I once saw a girl do a big line, right ater sneeze'd on her palm and then went "FUCK!" and licked up whatever came out her nose.

Haven't checked this thread in awhile, but I just wanted to say that's fucking gnarly. How disgusting. It's not that expensive! I think that is the grossest thing I've ever heard and if anyone is willing to do that over lost coke, well, you just might have a problem. EW! I'm still shuddering.

cinammonkisses
06-08-2007, 09:47 AM
Overexcited stripper jiggles in the dressing room: I got'a present!
( the gift is obviously a box of Godiva chocolates)

All the rest of us sitting in the dressing room: Ooooh!
Overexcited stripper: Look! It's a box of Go-Diva candy!!


I swear I had to get up and leave, the running joke the rest of the night was " Go-Diva, Go-Diva"

Hilarious!!

burnedrose
06-08-2007, 11:49 AM
Last night:
Girl 1: So I told her that if she fucked with me again I would punch her face in. And he (the bouncer) was all like, "Call me [email protected] I always miss the good fights."

(five minutes later, I walk in with Girl 1, to see the other girl passed out on the floor)

Girl 1: FUCCKK WHO BEAT ME TO BEATING THIS COKEHEAD BITCH?

shasta
06-08-2007, 12:29 PM
Overheard something sad tonight.
Girl on the phone
Can you come get me now?
Well, no, I didnt make it, but I'm tired. Can you come gett me?
I'm sorry! its slow tonight, and I couldnt make it, I been here for 12 hours now, Im tired.
I'll work longer tomorrow, but can I come home now?

She went back on the floor.....

I have heard this too. One girl in Seattle who I would talk to at work would often have this kind of conversation with her man. I once told what I thought. She said well I just didn't realized that he had bought some stuff today...

A.n.a.l.a.
06-08-2007, 12:49 PM
It was a good reminder why I wipe EVERYTHING down on stage, not just the pole:

1st girl: I hate dancing with my period.
2nd girl: It's not as bad as dancing with a yeast infection. I had one really bad once but I still had to dance. I had to use a tampon because of the discharge.
1st girl: Oh, I have to wear a tampon all the time. Otherwise stuff runs down my leg.

I must have had the worst look of horror on my face as I packed up my stuff and ran out of there.

hope you have stock in clorax wipes!

Sirona
06-08-2007, 01:40 PM
We had this stunning Brazilian girl who insisted on covering herself in loose glitter despite everyone telling her it was thr kiss of death and guys would avoid her.

Later that evening while she was on the floor and couple of us were sitting in the dressing room:

Stripper 1, standing over a big ole pile of glitter on the floor: "Uh wtf? Where'd all this glitter come from?"

Stripper 2, looking up from her salad with THE most serious face: "My pussy"