View Full Version : Overheard in the Dressing Room
Otoki
10-10-2008, 11:54 AM
if a girl asked me to do that........
i'd probably stop and stare for about 10 seconds, pack my things, and quietly go home.
i figure nothing good can come out of a night that starts with a girl asking me to route shit out of her ass.
I don't know how I would react. It's just so ridiculous. Has she never heard of laxatives?
pixierocksonthepole
10-11-2008, 06:49 AM
Wait wait wait... I want details!
I kind of just caught that statement and being opinionated I had to step in.
me "that makes absolutely no sense at all."
her "yes it does why else would we have that hole there?"
me "for making babies not sticking tampons in there."
her "no cuz what did the do in the old days like hundreds of years ago? they stuck cloth up there."
me "no they did not it was so unsanitary back then it wouldve caused infection and killed them. that is for babies to come out not tampons to go in. that wasnt the sole purpose of them."
her "nope your wrong its for tampons. told you its proof God exists."
that was one of the worst conversations i have ever been involved in.
pixierocksonthepole
10-11-2008, 06:58 AM
I just found a new sig quote. I actually loled and scared the shit outta my cats when I read this.
lmao thank you happy to help ^_^
Otoki
10-11-2008, 10:56 AM
I kind of just caught that statement and being opinionated I had to step in.
me "that makes absolutely no sense at all."
her "yes it does why else would we have that hole there?"
me "for making babies not sticking tampons in there."
her "no cuz what did the do in the old days like hundreds of years ago? they stuck cloth up there."
me "no they did not it was so unsanitary back then it wouldve caused infection and killed them. that is for babies to come out not tampons to go in. that wasnt the sole purpose of them."
her "nope your wrong its for tampons. told you its proof God exists."
that was one of the worst conversations i have ever been involved in.
...I kind of wish I hadn't asked. I would try to hang myself with a tampon rope after being in that conversation.
pixierocksonthepole
10-11-2008, 09:08 PM
...I kind of wish I hadn't asked. I would try to hang myself with a tampon rope after being in that conversation.
yes, yes it was quite depressing after that. what made me enjoi it more was that i wasn't the only one to hear convo in the DR so others had the exact same thoughts.
sugadancer
10-12-2008, 07:01 PM
Nooo... for real? LOL that's funny as hell!!
mild2wild
10-13-2008, 03:03 AM
girl talking to hairdresser
"this is my best money making outfit, guys love it, it cost $2 for the bra at a discount shop and I stole the underwear in high school when I wagged with friends"
ewww
Susan-Va
10-13-2008, 06:06 AM
girl talking to hairdresser
"this is my best money making outfit, guys love it, it cost $2 for the bra at a discount shop and I stole the underwear in high school when I wagged with friends"
ewww
What's "wagged"?
siliconedoll
10-13-2008, 01:57 PM
:yuck: That is pretty fucking disgusting. Did she throw the brush away after or did she put it back in her makeup bag?
She put it right back in her bag and carried on using it...I dont remember seeing her wash it either-ewwwww!
:O these stories are OUTRAGOUS!!!!
the sad thing is .... you CANT make this shit up.
mediocrity
10-13-2008, 06:35 PM
Friday night:
*dancer on phone screaming at her boyfriend*
"Fuck you [insert boyfriends name]! I know you have a girlfriend! Her name is [insert name], and I know where she works too, don't think I wont go up there! I've been fucking you without a condom because you said you wouldnt fuck anyone else!! Tell her I said I hope she likes how my pussy tastes!"
She slams down the phone and looks around, and is like "Now I guess everyone knows I've been fucking without a condom."
I avoided eye contact and continued doing my hair.
Otoki
10-13-2008, 09:53 PM
Friday night:
*dancer on phone screaming at her boyfriend*
"Fuck you [insert boyfriends name]! I know you have a girlfriend! Her name is [insert name], and I know where she works too, don't think I wont go up there! I've been fucking you without a condom because you said you wouldnt fuck anyone else!! Tell her I said I hope she likes how my pussy tastes!"
She slams down the phone and looks around, and is like "Now I guess everyone knows I've been fucking without a condom."
I avoided eye contact and continued doing my hair.
Wow. She was having unprotected sex BECAUSE the guy promised not to cheat. Now that's a healthy, mature relationship.
Leona_Anne
10-14-2008, 02:16 AM
OK, this one was from a few weeks ago, but iLolled pretty hard.
Dancer A: So, I ripped my g string on stage
Dancer B: How'd you do that? Catch it on a heel?
Dancer A: Cause it got stuck in my butthole.
Dancer B: ....was your heel in your ass?
Evidently, she had to take a dump really bad, so she stuffed her butthole with her gstring, then, when she went to take it off on stage, her ass muscles were so strong that she ripped the g string. Or something. I just thought it was hilarious that Dancer B figured heel = ripped g string and Dancer A gave herself a gstring buttplug.
OK, this one was from a few weeks ago, but iLolled pretty hard.
Dancer A: So, I ripped my g string on stage
Dancer B: How'd you do that? Catch it on a heel?
Dancer A: Cause it got stuck in my butthole.
Dancer B: ....was your heel in your ass?
Evidently, she had to take a dump really bad, so she stuffed her butthole with her gstring, then, when she went to take it off on stage, her ass muscles were so strong that she ripped the g string. Or something. I just thought it was hilarious that Dancer B figured heel = ripped g string and Dancer A gave herself a gstring buttplug.
:O OH MY! lol
Otoki
10-15-2008, 02:26 AM
OK, this one was from a few weeks ago, but iLolled pretty hard.
Dancer A: So, I ripped my g string on stage
Dancer B: How'd you do that? Catch it on a heel?
Dancer A: Cause it got stuck in my butthole.
Dancer B: ....was your heel in your ass?
Evidently, she had to take a dump really bad, so she stuffed her butthole with her gstring, then, when she went to take it off on stage, her ass muscles were so strong that she ripped the g string. Or something. I just thought it was hilarious that Dancer B figured heel = ripped g string and Dancer A gave herself a gstring buttplug.
Why the fuck didn't she shit first??? and you'd think the gstring buttplug would look awful, and if she takes it off/out it won't do its job anymore.
I just don't get this. GAH
Leona_Anne
10-15-2008, 03:47 PM
Why the fuck didn't she shit first??? and you'd think the gstring buttplug would look awful, and if she takes it off/out it won't do its job anymore.
I just don't get this. GAH
If you don't go on stage when you are called at my club, you get fined. I've held in my share of bathroom breaks, since I'm used to 6 hour long car rides with my family and my sisters in the car. haha.
I figured she was prairie dogging it and felt better on stage - I know it happens to me. Once I'm up on stage, my mind just wanders and I forget that I have to poo/pee/change the diva cup.
kikidejavu
10-15-2008, 03:52 PM
prairie dog?
ViolaStrings
10-15-2008, 04:03 PM
^ when it's popping out of the hole
kikidejavu
10-15-2008, 04:05 PM
the poop? good lord, i might just have to pay the fine if if was THAT immimennt!
Otoki
10-15-2008, 09:26 PM
If you don't go on stage when you are called at my club, you get fined. I've held in my share of bathroom breaks, since I'm used to 6 hour long car rides with my family and my sisters in the car. haha.
I figured she was prairie dogging it and felt better on stage - I know it happens to me. Once I'm up on stage, my mind just wanders and I forget that I have to poo/pee/change the diva cup.
I guess that makes a little bit of sense. I definitely stop feeling pain/exhaustion/nausea when I'm on stage.
reese_x_c
10-15-2008, 10:05 PM
the poop? good lord, i might just have to pay the fine if if was THAT immimennt!
:rotfl: yeah i 2nd that one.
ViolaStrings
10-15-2008, 10:58 PM
^ huh huh, you're #2
Scarlette_Lucre
10-15-2008, 11:47 PM
this happeed a while ago but it still makes me giggle.
while talking to a customer, a goth dancer starts talking to me in a threeway sort of conversation with the customer suddenly she comes out with (knowing i'd be sympathetic to her plight)
Her: I can't find a fetus in a jar anywhere on ebay!
Me 0 _ o it would be rather difficult
Her: It doesn't have to be human but i want a fetus in a jar!
Me: have you thought of baby rats? apparently there's a wine in korea that has baby rats in it
Her: ooh that could work.
Customer: This conversation is far too morbid for me i'm outa here (customer leaves.
we go back to conversation about fetus's in jars.
mediocrity
10-17-2008, 02:32 PM
Last night:
"OMG, [dancer's name]! Did you fart in my blanket?"
haha WTF.
reese_x_c
10-17-2008, 03:59 PM
^ huh huh, you're #2
:P lol
It's the same way when people keep saying Natives are drunks! I get sick of hearing it too. I just chalk it up to people not knowing the whole story behind our culture. But it's alos fun to run with it. "Redskin hears sirens and says 'hey cousin! Your ride's here!!'" haha! But it's just making fun of other's ignorance. Sometimes when I hear Don Burnstick (Native comedian), it makes me feel a bit better when I hear really rude comments by those who don't know.
I understand how you feel Tart. And I don't mean to make this into a racist thread or anything.
Burnstick is hilarious!
BIGJosh
10-31-2008, 12:13 AM
You girls are funny.
A girl comes in tonight from a club that got shut down recently in our town-
"You guys have no rats?"
Other dancer-"Not that i have seen"
"This is so weird. I havent sucked dick all night. I see no rats. Sometimes you just wanna suck dick and see rats. i cant work here man, fuck this club im out"
*silence*
*I start crunching on my chips* lol
:O WOW
kikidejavu
11-02-2008, 06:53 AM
^lmao sometimes you feel like a nut.....
dancer A: so and so had a miscarriage yesterday. i dont feel bad for her because she drank a did drugs the whole pregnancy.
me:yea thats messed up
dancer A: i cant believe she would risk her baby's life like that *opens cigarettes, and starts smoking*
me: arent you pregnant?
dancer A: yes, but i smoked all my other pregnancies, and nothing happened
me: *walks away like wtf*
secretzstolen
11-06-2008, 07:58 AM
^lmao sometimes you feel like a nut.....
dancer A: so and so had a miscarriage yesterday. i dont feel bad for her because she drank a did drugs the whole pregnancy.
me:yea thats messed up
dancer A: i cant believe she would risk her baby's life like that *opens cigarettes, and starts smoking*
me: arent you pregnant?
dancer A: yes, but i smoked all my other pregnancies, and nothing happened
me: *walks away like wtf*
NO WAY!! WTF???
Seriously, what is WRONG with some people????????????
Danielle_4370
11-07-2008, 08:09 AM
Yay! I finally have something worth contributing to this thread! I mean, not from the DR, and not something as nasty as they stuff you all are living through, but just as inexplicable...
---------------------
PL: So, do you like guys or girls?
Me: (thinking: what the hell, let's see his reaction) Actually, both. I'm bi-sexual.
PL: That's cool. (pause) All guys fantasize about sex with two women. (pauses again) I couldn't, though. I'd be worried that they'd just go to each other and leave me out of it.
Me: Oh, honey. I'm sure that won't happen if you take care of them both.
PL: But what if they just have sex with me for my sperm?
Me: ??
PL: You know, two lesbians who just want my sperm so they can have a baby? I cum and then they leave?
greggy
11-08-2008, 08:49 AM
the other night, we were all sitting in the dressing room talking about lollipops, Somehow, the song came up and we all started singing it at once. However, not one of us was singing the Lil' Wayne version, but rather the old school kid sounding version. Never thought I'd be singing that in a strip club dressing room.
Veronica504
11-08-2008, 09:46 AM
Wow, That is amazing. I can't believe men would think like that, Especially at a SC!!!!! I think that was an episode of the L word....
---------------------
PL: So, do you like guys or girls?
Me: (thinking: what the hell, let's see his reaction) Actually, both. I'm bi-sexual.
PL: That's cool. (pause) All guys fantasize about sex with two women. (pauses again) I couldn't, though. I'd be worried that they'd just go to each other and leave me out of it.
Me: Oh, honey. I'm sure that won't happen if you take care of them both.
PL: But what if they just have sex with me for my sperm?
Me: ??
PL: You know, two lesbians who just want my sperm so they can have a baby? I cum and then they leave?[/quote]
MissAlethea
11-08-2008, 01:38 PM
^^^ You'd think that would fit right in with the male fantasy! "I cum, and then they leave! I got to cum, with two girls, and then they go away and I don't have to deal with them anymore! No breakfast in the morning, no helping them find their underwear, they just leave! Maybe if they did the dishes and threw in a load of laundry before they headed out...." :D
Eden Envy
11-08-2008, 03:44 PM
Oh this is a goodie.
Me: Do you have a tampon?
Other Dancer: No, but this one time I needed a tampon and didn't have any, so I rolled up a wad of napkins and wrapped duct tape around it. I'm like god damn Macguiver!
*SICK!*
ex0t1ca
11-08-2008, 05:24 PM
Oh this is a goodie.
Me: Do you have a tampon?
Other Dancer: No, but this one time I needed a tampon and didn't have any, so I rolled up a wad of napkins and wrapped duct tape around it. I'm like god damn Macguiver!
*SICK!*
Wow that is disgusting and unsanitary and how did it absorb anything?
kikidejavu
11-09-2008, 01:44 AM
duct tape? oh wow, yea its not absorbant as far as i know lol
jung cheng
11-09-2008, 09:03 AM
Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you
that wasnt a polish joke anyway get a life, i dont believe you are even polish x
ViolaStrings
11-09-2008, 10:58 AM
^ what the hell is going on?
Eden Envy
11-09-2008, 12:07 PM
What I think she meant is that she wrapped it around the napkins but left the top and bottom open, kinda like a cigar. I know, sorry for the visual. Lol
:-\
gracieS
11-09-2008, 10:57 PM
Wait, where was there a polish joke?
demonika
11-09-2008, 11:27 PM
Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you
that wasnt a polish joke anyway get a life, i dont believe you are even polish x
i think that is meant to be dialog between two people. do you really think someone named jung cheng is polish? haha. oh..wait...i think i just got the joke. haha.
ViolaStrings
11-10-2008, 12:16 AM
What the hell happened.
Otoki
11-10-2008, 12:37 AM
^I really have no clue. I don't see how that would make sense even as a dialogue.
Sirona
11-10-2008, 10:17 AM
Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you
that wasnt a polish joke anyway get a life, i dont believe you are even polish x
Uh.... wtf are you refering to?
On another note I'M Polish and I think Polish jokes are hilarious.
Grow a sense of humor.
ViolaStrings
11-10-2008, 12:55 PM
^ for real, it's like how I LOVE dumb stripper jokes. It's just good fun.
Sirona
11-10-2008, 01:54 PM
Some people take themselves far too seriously eh?
I mean i'm blonde AND Polish.
I'm lucky I can remember to breath in AND out.
But I mean hey, I can park in the handicapp spaces so it's not all bad.
Forever_Fallen227
11-10-2008, 02:33 PM
Wow, I finally read through this whole thread! Can I just say, FUNNY! Come on girls, I know we have some funnier stories! If I could remember from 2 years ago, I would post but I can't.
Evie Kitty
01-30-2009, 12:55 PM
I just finished reading all 45 pages of this hilarity! I have to say, in my three years of dancing, I have heard or seen similar things described here and if I had the patience I would dig through the pages again to quote the one about the stripper you shit all over the floor in Jacksonville, FL. I was there that night it happened. It was horrible. Almost as bad as the time someone put a bottle of eye-drops in a girls drink. She was a bitch and needless to say pissed off a lot of people. She was famous for these "flying splits" of hers. Well, she was on main stage and shat all over the stage and the customers waiting to tip her. She fled the club never to return. It was horrible and funny at the same time.
I still work in Jacksonville, but the club I work at now is one of the best. However, we still get little dressing rooms gems from time to time.
Dancer A: Girl, I love the way you do your make-up. I wish I could do tha' shit.
Me: Thank you. It's not that hard. Bring some of your make-up in on a slow night and I will show you some tricks.
Dancer A: Naw, I can't do much with make-up my hands are too jittery from all these pills I take.
Me: ...