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lexi2008
03-03-2009, 09:34 AM
I had the great pleasure to watch two girls compare vaginas the other day...

Girl 1 (she is currently pregnant and taking a break from stripping but came into the dressing room to say hi): "God, my pussy is soooo fat!

Girl 2: You can't have a fat pussy. They are supposed to have a little padding

Girl 1: No, you have to look at it *wips it out* See? Touch it! Its so squishy

Girl 2: No, mine's like that too, see?

Girl 1: No see how much bigger mine is *measures it with her hand* yours is like...no where near this thick

Girl 2: No, they're the same *pushes her mound against girl 1*...Its like the same thing

*Then they continue to get on top of the counter and further inspect themselves in the mirror

....it was like a silly porn scenario that you never would have expected to actually happen in real life

... Wow. I probably would have been in tears from laughing so hard at them if I had witnessed this in real life. :O

hazel_eyes
03-04-2009, 06:06 PM
hahah....... here is one that could only come from a miami girl (maaaaybe somewhere else but doubtful)................

"I am gunna be here everyday for the next month grinding. My Birthday is at the end of the month and my daddy (aka my pimp) is gunna let me buy myself a grill. I need to come up with 30,000 for it but that shit is worth it - all pink diamonds...... I cant wait, that shit is gunna be so fly"

Sad that someone who can conjure up 30,000 dollars in a months time can only think to spend it on a tacky ass piece of "jewlery" that only goes in your mouth and will go out of style once lil wayne is no longer famous.


How sad is it that my first thought was of an actual grill you cook on?

she sells sanctuary
03-05-2009, 10:25 AM
^ i think the sad thing is that if he's got a ho earning that kind of money for him, there's no way in hell he'll really let her get it. lord knows if would cut into her income. if a grill with fucking pink diamonds in it is even attainable, which i highly doubt. he just let her have her hope so she'll work extra hard and make him more money.

nina888
03-05-2009, 10:30 PM
^ i think the sad thing is that if he's got a ho earning that kind of money for him, there's no way in hell he'll really let her get it. lord knows if would cut into her income. if a grill with fucking pink diamonds in it is even attainable, which i highly doubt. he just let her have her hope so she'll work extra hard and make him more money.


:O Gasp! Never!! hahahahahhaha......... your a smart lady my friend. I swear there should be "how to be an intelligent stripper/ho lessens"- it would save girls a lot of money on overpriced pimps. LOL. ::)

redhothoney
03-06-2009, 01:59 AM
What I want to know is why girls leave their purses out then someone steals them, then they go off saying their gonna kill some bitch for stealing her purse.

kenitajonez
03-06-2009, 11:27 AM
"It's not like meth is bad for you or anything."

There was more, that's just the line that sticks out.

MissMynxx
03-06-2009, 01:11 PM
Aside from all the drugs/drunk strippers peeing/weird pimp-ho convos; I had a funny moment last night.

My boyfriend made a downright offensive and tasteless joke related to his ex and I. I was PISSED. :'( Recounting this story to a friend, she replies in shock, "Girl! You should take your pussy off and BITCH-SLAP him with it!"

ALL the girls died. Our house-dad was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. It was the best thing EVER.;D

MsLayne
03-06-2009, 04:36 PM
I can finally add a story:

So, I just get to work a few a weeks ago and getting ready to get dressed. These young NY dancers, who have the same pimp by the way, are putting their clothes back on.


Girl 1: Yeah, so he came and wanted to go again and I said hell no, it doesn't work that way. I need another $40.

Girl 2: Yea you're right.

Girl 1 : I just want to make this money for Daddy because he wants that house and I want to help him get it.


Me: WTF :silently: I don't say a fuckin word, I just get dressed.


Mind you they are both under 20.

Otoki
03-10-2009, 03:38 PM
Aside from all the drugs/drunk strippers peeing/weird pimp-ho convos; I had a funny moment last night.

My boyfriend made a downright offensive and tasteless joke related to his ex and I. I was PISSED. :'( Recounting this story to a friend, she replies in shock, "Girl! You should take your pussy off and BITCH-SLAP him with it!"

ALL the girls died. Our house-dad was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. It was the best thing EVER.;D
That is so hilarious. I'm using that the first opportunity I get.

nychaos99
03-13-2009, 10:28 AM
Aside from all the drugs/drunk strippers peeing/weird pimp-ho convos; I had a funny moment last night.

My boyfriend made a downright offensive and tasteless joke related to his ex and I. I was PISSED. :'( Recounting this story to a friend, she replies in shock, "Girl! You should take your pussy off and BITCH-SLAP him with it!"

ALL the girls died. Our house-dad was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. It was the best thing EVER.;D


THAT IS HYSTERICAL!!!!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
I just laughed OUT LOUD and read it to my coworkers.... I am totally using that one...

Alexis81
03-29-2009, 02:06 PM
"This club needs to have mandatory STD testing, I'm going to be fing pissed if I get AIDS from having to use the same toilet as these girls"

and this didn't happen in the dressing room but its still funny. I'm sitting at the bar and a girl comes up with a guy who pulls his cash out and he had $87, the manager tells him he can buy 3 songs with that but the girl decides to pay the extra $13 so he can get a half hour, then has to pay $5 for the jukebox in the room. So she ended up doing a half hour dance for...... $32.00 the same money she would have gotten if she had just done the 3 song dance.

thesightofoneself
03-29-2009, 02:20 PM
I had the great pleasure to watch two girls compare vaginas the other day...

Girl 1 (she is currently pregnant and taking a break from stripping but came into the dressing room to say hi): "God, my pussy is soooo fat!

Girl 2: You can't have a fat pussy. They are supposed to have a little padding

Girl 1: No, you have to look at it *wips it out* See? Touch it! Its so squishy

Girl 2: No, mine's like that too, see?

Girl 1: No see how much bigger mine is *measures it with her hand* yours is like...no where near this thick

Girl 2: No, they're the same *pushes her mound against girl 1*...Its like the same thing

*Then they continue to get on top of the counter and further inspect themselves in the mirror

....it was like a silly porn scenario that you never would have expected to actually happen in real life

might just be because i'm gay but i dont see the big deal about comparing vaginas. granted that just might not have been the best place to do it... :P

Crow2
03-29-2009, 09:02 PM
Aside from all the drugs/drunk strippers peeing/weird pimp-ho convos; I had a funny moment last night.

My boyfriend made a downright offensive and tasteless joke related to his ex and I. I was PISSED. :'( Recounting this story to a friend, she replies in shock, "Girl! You should take your pussy off and BITCH-SLAP him with it!"

ALL the girls died. Our house-dad was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. It was the best thing EVER.;D

That is HILARIOUS!!!

callista
04-04-2009, 09:13 PM
Aside from all the drugs/drunk strippers peeing/weird pimp-ho convos; I had a funny moment last night.

My boyfriend made a downright offensive and tasteless joke related to his ex and I. I was PISSED. :'( Recounting this story to a friend, she replies in shock, "Girl! You should take your pussy off and BITCH-SLAP him with it!"

ALL the girls died. Our house-dad was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. It was the best thing EVER.;D

This is the best thing evar.

callista
04-04-2009, 09:18 PM
Ok, so this isn't really overheard, but I was sitting and talking to the housemom in my old club one day, and this gal walks up. We'll call her..... C. Yeah. C.

C: I hate it when guys suck on my titties, I still breastfeed my son and so it makes me feel like they're taking my sons food!
HM: Isn't your son 2?
C: Yeah, but it's important for him to have my milk.
Me: Yuck. That's nasty, dude.
C: No, really! Guys think it's really cool that I have breastmilk, they think it's sexy. Sometimes I squirt it at them, see?

*nipple squirts that land ON MY BACK*

Me: *freaking the fuck out*
C: What? It's no big deal, it comes from me so it's all natural! My son drinks it!

The sad thing was that she had to breastfeed cuz she was hooked on Oxy, and so was her son. I was glad to hear that she was able to get off it, though. But still........ EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW

The housemom was kind enough to wipe my entire back with rubbing alcohol after that.

callista
04-04-2009, 09:24 PM
Stripper A: "OMG I'm so happy I finally stopped doing coke at work!"

Stripper B: "Really!?! How did you manage that?"

Stripper A: "Well now I take X instead!"

**WOW because X is so much better then coke!?!?**

(same Stripper A different convo)

Stripper A: "Listen if any of your custo's wanna blowjob just send them to me"

::Then she opens her purse and shows us a bunch of condoms::

Stripper A: "You can also send them to me if they wanna fuck too!"



I know exactly who it is you're talking about.... ugh. I can't believe that trashy bitch was my roommate for a while.... Good news is, she abandoned her dog with me and I love the fuzzy bitch. She moved out to cali and lives in Laguna now, I'm down in SD. Too close, I feel like I might catch a disease if I drive within 50 miles of her.

I was sitting by her at a table one day and she took a guy back to the CR. She was back in 5 minutes, tops.

Me: Well, that didn't take long.
Stripper A : It never does.

YUCK. >:(

DaniMBSC
04-06-2009, 10:04 AM
the choo choo girl did the worm all the way across the floor of our club after close...she even did it backwards it was the funniest shit i have ever seen in my life.
One night there were NO customers and so the manager/owner and bartender used some of the clubs money and told all the girls to get onstage and just have a good time while they tipped us. One girl in particular who is incredibly white and blond yells at the DJ to put some dancehall on and shames us all off stage. She threw her shoes off and starts doin the heel toe and the dutty whine and shit. All of us...dancers, owner, bouncers...everyone just sat down. :eye-poppi

BoxOfPandora
04-06-2009, 10:31 AM
Aside from all the drugs/drunk strippers peeing/weird pimp-ho convos; I had a funny moment last night.

My boyfriend made a downright offensive and tasteless joke related to his ex and I. I was PISSED. :'( Recounting this story to a friend, she replies in shock, "Girl! You should take your pussy off and BITCH-SLAP him with it!"

ALL the girls died. Our house-dad was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. It was the best thing EVER.;D

Niiiiice.

I've had/heard many questions related to spelling, but they're usually longer words. I'm at a new place and not many of the girls there know I'm an English major (creative writing concentration) so they don't know to ask me. "How do you spell 'tired'?"

The girl who answered sounded confused as she said t-i-e-r-e-d and then t-i-e-r-d, realizing both sounded wrong, but going back between the two.


Dancer: Can I smoke a joint in the bathroom?
DJ: No, there's no ventilation back there.

20 minutes later.
Another dancer: I was over by the pool table and it smelled like weed.

Ohhhh, and just before that.
Weed dancer: I've got a clip.
Another dancer (heard "clit" instead of "clip"): I would hope so.

MissAlethea
04-06-2009, 01:03 PM
Yay! I finally have one!

So, this girl happens to get a guy back to our CR for a few hours, makes some decent money. He gives her his number, says "Call me." Pretty standard so far. In the dressing room, she shows me the paper, something like 555-5555x55 and says, "How do I dial this?"
"Um... on a phone?"
"No, no, the "x", there's no x button on the phone..."

Le sigh....

munch
04-07-2009, 09:55 PM
Can I brag that I have a story after my FIRST weekend!?!

Dancer A: Girl his dick ain't dirty, you just gotta pee after you have sex.

Dancer B:(while sitting on the toilet) OMG OWWWW it burns when I pee.

OMG! Thank God I'm blessed with common sense.

Tonya
04-08-2009, 03:57 PM
There was a dancer in the dressing room taking up a collection for another dancers abortion. The pregnant dancer was working that night and should've been making enough to cover the cost herself. She was vocal about not wanting the baby but she needed HER money to buy drugs. They both spent the night soliciting the club employees to donate to their cause.


I don't like to get moral with people, and I felt bad for the baby, but I couldn't bring myself to make a donation.

ViolaStrings
04-08-2009, 08:22 PM
^ collecting for an abortion while working... classy.

CKXXX
04-09-2009, 10:28 AM
^ collecting for an abortion while working... classy.
Not to mention discussing said upcoming abortion with custies...S E X Y!! I mean,hell...if a chick telling you about her uterine scraping isnt pure fantasy material I just dont know what is.:O

ViolaStrings
04-09-2009, 11:31 AM
^ what's next? Collecting for your hemorrhoid removal or antibiotics for your STD?

BoxOfPandora
04-09-2009, 01:41 PM
^ Better yet, if she contracted said STD from a customer.

Kylea2
04-09-2009, 07:04 PM
Yay! I finally have one!

So, this girl happens to get a guy back to our CR for a few hours, makes some decent money. He gives her his number, says "Call me." Pretty standard so far. In the dressing room, she shows me the paper, something like 555-5555x55 and says, "How do I dial this?"
"Um... on a phone?"
"No, no, the "x", there's no x button on the phone..."

Le sigh....

Oh my! LOL

http://www.xcomment.com/g3/img/sc081507032346.gif


Was that at Diamond?

Crow2
04-10-2009, 08:01 AM
Not to mention discussing said upcoming abortion with custies...S E X Y!! I mean,hell...if a chick telling you about her uterine scraping isnt pure fantasy material I just dont know what is.:O

Oh yeah, I know that makes me hot. * eye roll *

BoxOfPandora
04-10-2009, 08:30 AM
^ I dunno, some customers may want to buy the aborted fetus in a jar. You know those fetishists O_o

nina888
04-15-2009, 02:47 PM
oh my god guys this one reminds me of a really really good story i heard. I am shy to tell it cus it actually involves a very very HUGE celebrities involvement with a certain stripper in miami.

oh boy....... well here goes.

So the story goes that the girl was basically hitting up this "producer" (i wont say names but maybe you will guess so i wont have to) for money tho get an abortion because she was pregnant (supposedly) with his child. Fair enough considering this guy has a rep for picking up dancers randomly and bringing them home. Discusting because her claiming pregnancy means she let him hit it raw..... ewww.

Now the really weird part. So the story goes that she actually not only hit him up, but hit up 5 guys in his crew for abortion money too. How do we know this you may ask??? another dancer is telling this story of how she knows the producer and quite of few of his people and all of them have told her privately the same story about this one chick who is saying she is pregnant with their baby and how they are planning on paying her the 500 bucks she needs. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Now this is classic hustling but at the same time if you look at the whole dynamic this girl is hella hella nasty and these guys even worse. The picture it paints in my mind is that 'said huge mega hip hop producer' picks up dancer from miami strip club and invites her back to his house for an orgy involving no condoms and members of his whole crew busting up inside her. OR that she just got them seperately on different occasions so she could cry pregnant and get away with it without any of them knowing of eachother.............

either way this is so vulger and nasty i wanna barf. all to get $$$2500 bucks for an abortion??? The sad thing is i know the girl and she is fairly nice enough even with what she does. Sadder is that the producer in question is ginormously famous and works with so many celebrities and already has children with other girls around (also strippers which makes the story that much more beleivable)............. and the chicks who are his more "serious" girlfriends have NO idea of his lifestyle when it comes to going out and partying.

word to the wise............. if your gunna have that groupy bullshit experience- use a condom ladies. Being the baby mama of some womanizing music producer is not really all that. mmmmkay???

Ruby Ruckus
04-15-2009, 02:59 PM
i would think that she's not even actually pregnant and it's just a scam.

Crow2
04-15-2009, 02:59 PM
Heard in the dressing room :

" What the FUUUUUCK.. I mean he already owes me fifty. He's going to pay me back when? When he becomes Tu-Pac? I mean really girl, I'm so pissed I might shoot him myself. Asking me for more cash when he already owes me money? That's like going to your favorite loan shark and asking for another loan. For some stupid CD shit."



Then later in the night when said person is ready to go:

" Yeah. Come get me at ten. Love ya hunny."


Ye gods.

Scarlette_Lucre
04-15-2009, 10:31 PM
^ I dunno, some customers may want to buy the aborted fetus in a jar. You know those fetishists O_o


of even some strippers i've had many gruesome conversations on the subject.

jgand
04-16-2009, 08:59 PM
He's nice, I don't want to take his money.

Otoki
04-17-2009, 03:32 AM
he's nice, i don't want to take his money.
ho. Ly. Shit.

ViolaStrings
04-17-2009, 08:18 AM
He's nice, I don't want to take his money.


Wha... uh..... you mean.... uh (brain short circuits).

Idmonstre
04-22-2009, 02:02 AM
Oh god. When i first started dancing (like my third day) when i was still not quite sure what sort of people i was working with one of the girls (who i haven't actually seen dancing for a while now) was talking on her phone next to me crying her eyes out. Her conv. went something like this...
"OH GOD. they found his body. Noooooo! @#&^*&&$^%&$*^*$ what? he was fed to the pigs!?!?!?!?!" and so on
She then left home early. I was completely freaked out. I kept hoping that "fed to the pigs" actually meant "turned into the cops" but when i asked her about it a month later she told me that no, someone she knew went missing and then parts were found and the rest was fed to pigs or something. Needless to say, at the time the idea of working with someone who know someone who's body was fed to pigs totally freaked me out.
-Crimson

ViolaStrings
04-22-2009, 08:18 AM
^ omfg

nina888
04-23-2009, 04:41 PM
^^^^^ ummm....... not to put disbelief out there cus there is some crazy shit that goes on but......... that is a scene from the movie snatch??? I have never ever heard of some shit like that happening in real life. but who the hell knows. anything is possible.

Elvia
04-23-2009, 09:38 PM
^^^That serial killer in Vancouver fed his victims to pigs.

Idmonstre
04-23-2009, 09:59 PM
there are people who feed humans to pigs from what i understand, however they do not tend to live my little town in Midwest nor know anyone who knows anyone who i know. or so i always assumed
-crimson

chitownchick
04-25-2009, 02:36 PM
ok i got one...finally!! this might not be that horrific with me retelling it, but in context it was.

stripper: (totaly thinks she is black) girl i havent work in 3 fucking weeks!! you believe that?
me: why?
stripper: well girl i blew 20,000 in 3 weeks
me: what? how?
stripper: on my kids..playing, you know i got kids
me: how many?
stripper: 6, then at the same time asks another girl if she wants any popcorn
stripper2: isnt that popcorn like 5 bucks a bag
stripper: girl!! food stamps are where its at!! i get food stamps for all my kids and we can get 5.00 popcorn.

(ok my jaw dropped at the 20000 dollar comment, but then after all this shit. i mean fuck am i the only one thinking that if she can make 20000 maybe she shouldnt be spending it on whatever she is spending it on, surely not all on her kids, maybe she should wait and save it so she can actually take care of her kids long term, oh my bad she has the government to hlp her with everything the kids NEED, she can buy her crack and shit with the money she makes at the club)

chitownchick
04-25-2009, 02:38 PM
Oh god. When i first started dancing (like my third day) when i was still not quite sure what sort of people i was working with one of the girls (who i haven't actually seen dancing for a while now) was talking on her phone next to me crying her eyes out. Her conv. went something like this...
"OH GOD. they found his body. Noooooo! @#&^*&&$^%&$*^*$ what? he was fed to the pigs!?!?!?!?!" and so on
She then left home early. I was completely freaked out. I kept hoping that "fed to the pigs" actually meant "turned into the cops" but when i asked her about it a month later she told me that no, someone she knew went missing and then parts were found and the rest was fed to pigs or something. Needless to say, at the time the idea of working with someone who know someone who's body was fed to pigs totally freaked me out.
-Crimson


come to kentucky...you learn this shit....common knowledge : you kill someone, feed them to wild boars, the boars/pigs eat aeverthing, every body part. especially if they havent been fed for a while. there isnt much way for the cops to prove anything.

Harleylynn
04-25-2009, 05:48 PM
I think they do it in one of the hannibal movies to. Not sure which one though.

chitownchick
04-25-2009, 05:52 PM
ffirst or2nd one

nina888
04-26-2009, 05:39 AM
gotta clean the teeth out of their shit though.......... ewwwww

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HAQ3pNHwj4

Jezzebelle
04-26-2009, 07:21 AM
Aaaaaah, I just read all of page 48, and NOW Ninas post makes sense.

Im still not watching that utube though.

NewMoon
04-26-2009, 07:33 AM
Can I brag that I have a story after my FIRST weekend!?!

Dancer A: Girl his dick ain't dirty, you just gotta pee after you have sex.

Dancer B:(while sitting on the toilet) OMG OWWWW it burns when I pee.

OMG! Thank God I'm blessed with common sense.

Actually that sounds like perfect sense to me. I used to get burning down there mainly after sex and it turns out that I was getting urinary tract infections from sex. They aren't contagious. You get them because the penis is shoving various bodily fluids up into your urethra where they don't belong. Peeing after sex can solve this and it worked for me.

chitownchick
04-26-2009, 10:09 AM
yeah i think this convo ^^ can be read in a different ways. dr';s say to be at least 30 min after having sex - it flushes bacteria out. imm orone to uti;s so i have to pee immedietly after. but i didnt read the convo lke that, i thought they were talking aboutr std's .

Crow2
05-02-2009, 01:54 AM
Overheard this tonight..

Two strippers conversing..

" Gurl! He smacked you AND pulled a gun on you?"
" Yeah, like he thought I would be scared. Better Rec-OG-nise, this is one crazy bitch."
"Gawd-damn! What did you do?"
"I pulled my fucking pistol out on him. "

Annnnnnnd the tirade of how crazy she was went on and on for several minutes. I got out of there like a cat with it's tail on fire.

vonniestarrr
05-03-2009, 12:08 AM
Overheard this tonight..

Two strippers conversing..

" Gurl! He smacked you AND pulled a gun on you?"
" Yeah, like he thought I would be scared. Better Rec-OG-nise, this is one crazy bitch."
"Gawd-damn! What did you do?"
"I pulled my fucking pistol out on him. "

Annnnnnnd the tirade of how crazy she was went on and on for several minutes. I got out of there like a cat with it's tail on fire.


hahaha i just laughed so hard, i started coughing...and couldn't stop!!