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MissMynxx
05-03-2009, 04:02 AM
WOW. On my first night back in three weeks, I had the WORST night I've ever had. I got caught up in the middle of some serious stripper drama - namely, a friend and I caught 2 girls smoking freaking HEROIN in the bathroom. Now, to preface this, we have cameras EVERYWHERE - including the bathroom. So if it's seen that we were there and saw the girls and didn't report it, we get shitcanned. Not going there. So she and I reported it.

In the DR, the kicked all the girls out and it was just the two girls smoking, me and my friend, 2 managers, and house mom. The girl busts out with this gem:

Girl 1: "Ain't no one told me I couldn't smoke my heroin in the bathroom!"

:O Wow, really? You have to be TOLD that's a bad idea?

But to top it off, house mom busts out with this gem. She looks the girl dead in the face and says:

HM: "Weed is one thing, but I do NOT tolerate heroin in my dressing room!"

The look on our managers' faces were PRICELESS. God, I wish I had a camera. It was a really, really interesting night.

Toblerone
05-03-2009, 08:58 PM
One of the craziest girls at my club (who I love) randomly found a hand towel in her car that had a hole in it that was, for lack of a better term, perfectly dick shaped.
She was leaving early with another girl, so while she waited for her she was dancing around the DR with the towel over her crotch singing "sex towelllll sex towellll you protect me from hiv sex towellll i fuck the customers through my sex towellllll sex towellll you prevent all STDs sex towelllll" in this weird monotone voice.
Her friend left to go up on stage and she runs out AT TOP SPEED barefoot and topless, wearing only pyjama bottoms with alien cows on them, tits bouncing everywhere and yelling at the TOP OF HER LUNGS "NO NO NO YOU FORGOT THE SEX TOWEL NO NO WAIT."
there's a pause, and the other girl in the dressing room, really young and kind of dirty, turns to me and asks really quietly "um... does that towel really prevent AIDS?"

ViolaStrings
05-03-2009, 09:32 PM
^ that's awesome b/c it's an Upright Citizens Brigade reference.

goldengrl69
05-03-2009, 10:25 PM
How sad is it that my first thought was of an actual grill you cook on?


my first thought too :-X

BoxOfPandora
05-04-2009, 05:15 AM
Oh my god I want a sex towel too!

MarvelGirl
05-04-2009, 05:34 AM
there's a pause, and the other girl in the dressing room, really young and kind of dirty, turns to me and asks really quietly "um... does that towel really prevent AIDS?"

OMG, that is so funny and yet so sad at the same time.

mediocrity
05-04-2009, 02:16 PM
One co-worker to another yesterday afternoon:
Dancer 1: "I had such a good sex dream about you last night."
Dancer 2: "Did I give you a wet dream?"

It made me chuckle.

trishaxxxo
05-05-2009, 06:50 PM
directed at me my first night at a club:

Me: yeah Ive only danced a little while but I used to do phone sex

Dancer: oh girl we've all done a little ho-in! I used to work at -dirty club- and sucked so much dick but once I came here I realized I didn't have to do that...one of my old regulars came in and I was sucking his dick in VIP and started gagging and had to stop so now I don't do BJs anymore just hand jobs sometimes....

Me: um...yeah...can I put my stuff over here? :O

Scarlette_Lucre
05-05-2009, 09:15 PM
directed at me my first night at a club:

Me: yeah Ive only danced a little while but I used to do phone sex

Dancer: oh girl we've all done a little ho-in! I used to work at -dirty club- and sucked so much dick but once I came here I realized I didn't have to do that...one of my old regulars came in and I was sucking his dick in VIP and started gagging and had to stop so now I don't do BJs anymore just hand jobs sometimes....

Me: um...yeah...can I put my stuff over here? :O

...Never thought of phone sex as ho-in.

trishaxxxo
05-07-2009, 11:43 AM
...Never thought of phone sex as ho-in.

yeah I was pretty nervous about the new club, and I think she was trying to make me feel better? just TMI.

but uh...yeah phone sex and dick suckin never seemed like they were on the same level to me either

trishaxxxo
05-07-2009, 11:51 AM
A girl comes in tonight from a club that got shut down recently in our town-

"You guys have no rats?"
Other dancer-"Not that i have seen"
"This is so weird. I havent sucked dick all night. I see no rats. Sometimes you just wanna suck dick and see rats. i cant work here man, fuck this club im out"

*silence*

*I start crunching on my chips* lol

LMFAO ok i've been slowly burning through this thread with my morning coffee and so far this takes the cake!! :D

Toblerone
05-07-2009, 11:56 AM
a few of us were talking about swine flu & how it was going to effect work
Girl walking in: you can get the FLU from WINE?

Jezzebelle
05-07-2009, 01:09 PM
a few of us were talking about swine flu & how it was going to effect work
Girl walking in: you can get the FLU from WINE?


LMAO!!!!!

TravelandStrip
05-17-2009, 01:19 AM
Dancer: Ewww that guy just tried to kiss me! I mean I understand he DID buy me 5 drinks and so he probably deserves it, but don't try to kiss me! He was touching my p*ssy earlier, and that's fine, but trying to kiss me is just GROSS!

Gia2608
05-17-2009, 06:07 PM
These are really funny, make me wonder how many of you girls work here in S. Fla?

One I heard two girls arguing in the bathroom, where a lot of us got ready bc the DR is so small. Anyway, one of the girls was actually really nice but everyone knows she has a pimp and she's arguing with this other bitch about who has the BETTER PIMP!

"My Daddy is better than yours"
"No, my Daddy is better than yours, he drives a ($50K car!)."

They sounded like kindergardners
The funny thing is that she could've bought the car for herself instead of for him if she wasn't so foolish.

Gia2608
05-17-2009, 06:09 PM
And I could probably retire if I had a dollar for every time I met a girl that didn't know where New England was ( I can see if you are from another country, but I'm talking about American girls!)

CherryBomb954
05-18-2009, 01:10 PM
2 ghetto-trash wannabe white girls come blasting into the DR as I am getting ready, louder than hell, going off about their "babies daddies" and whatnot....then one girl goes :

"I don't know what his problem is, he fucks me but never cums. And I'm like, what up, why you always gotta get so fucked up on pills before you fuck me?! it's like every time I tell him I wanna fuck he goes and takes pills. I mean like, shit, his dick gets hard and he beats my pussy up, but never cums....shiiiiiiittt giiiiiirrrllll........"

Then the other one chimes back "Pfffffffffft, I know what you mean, girl. My baby daddy drink too much. He's always drunk everyday and shit. I tell him to go put the kids to bed and get in there and fuck me, but all he wants to do is get fucked up....."

Britney_B
05-19-2009, 09:36 AM
Okay this is kinda weird I walked in the dressing room and it was really smoky. This girl was like, "god it's smoky, like someone was smoking crack. And then this other girl replied "Crack?" By the way do either of you have any "bubblegum crack " and I just left the dressing room laughing like these two crack whores wtf ?

CKXXX
05-19-2009, 09:46 AM
WTF is "bubblegum" crack?

I worked in one club where a cpl girls used to actually smoke crack in the bathroom....yeah The Booby Trap is totally CLASS with a capital K baby. Crack smells like SHIT. Seriously....I almost vomited the first time I smelled it and I've been elbow deep in a Great Dane and covered in maggots...it takes a LOT to turn my stomach! When I was told what I was smelling was crack I wondered yet again why anyone would do that. I couldnt even stand to pee around it without feeling sick,I cant imagine actually inhaling it.

MarvelGirl
05-19-2009, 10:06 AM
WTF is "bubblegum" crack?

I worked in one club where a cpl girls used to actually smoke crack in the bathroom....yeah The Booby Trap is totally CLASS with a capital K baby. Crack smells like SHIT. Seriously....I almost vomited the first time I smelled it and I've been elbow deep in a Great Dane and covered in maggots...it takes a LOT to turn my stomach! When I was told what I was smelling was crack I wondered yet again why anyone would do that. I couldnt even stand to pee around it without feeling sick,I cant imagine actually inhaling it.

I had no idea that it stank so bad. Now that you say that, I think I may have smelled it before, but I would have never imagined that someone would be smoking something that reeked like that.

CKXXX
05-19-2009, 12:31 PM
I had no idea that it stank so bad. Now that you say that, I think I may have smelled it before, but I would have never imagined that someone would be smoking something that reeked like that.
Well it smelled pretty bad to me,but then again the smell of weed turns my stomach too. I've smelled some REALLY nasty stuff when I worked as a vet tech and nothing bothers my stomach more then the smell of drugs. Dont know why..it just does

MissMynxx
05-19-2009, 02:00 PM
^^ I know exactly what you mean. I've worked in some interesting places around some interesting chemicals - and I've been a drug user in the past. Now that I'm clean, I cannot FATHOM how I used to do some of that crap. It stinks SO BAD.

BoxOfPandora
05-19-2009, 04:25 PM
Ok, this one is partially "stupid customer comment" but I think it's a bit more appropriate here.

Before the club opened, it was just me, my ride, and one other girl. The phone rings and she answers. I hear her list our hours, then give directions. Then I hear her say "We don't serve alcohol here." A short silence while the other person talks. "Oh no honey, this is a strip club!" BTW it was an older woman on the other line.

One girl was on the rag, doing the usual check to make sure her string isn't visible.
"So THAT's where pee comes from!"

CKXXX
05-19-2009, 06:17 PM
One girl was on the rag, doing the usual check to make sure her string isn't visible.
"So THAT's where pee comes from!"


WTF?? Where did she think it came from before that?????

Gia2608
05-19-2009, 07:07 PM
Hahahaha, I had a bf when I was a teenager that thought girls peed from their asshole.

The Booby Trap!!! I worked there too and witnessed the same (although that's where managment draws the line). I thought that place was terrible until I read the thread about Dives.

Montanagirl
05-20-2009, 01:48 AM
OK...new to this forum but, not new to dancing here's a story that happened a little while ago....
Me: (talking about one of those girls who talk about people to steal dances from them)..."She's one of those girls who say to a custie...hey see that girl she has herpes"
Girl down the hall from DR: "So is that a good thing? To have herpes? Cause I have herpes"
(Huh? when the hell is it ever a good thing to have an STD?( similar to my response to the girl down the hall)

CherryBomb954
05-20-2009, 02:29 AM
Oh god I could go on and on with this thread. I heard so many tonight I could write a novel but I will spare you all.

I'll pick the best one. A few drunk/high/whatever girls trying to analyze the Egyptian pyramids and how they were built amongst eachother. Let your imagination run wild with that one..........

CKXXX
05-20-2009, 10:14 AM
Hahahaha, I had a bf when I was a teenager that thought girls peed from their asshole.

The Booby Trap!!! I worked there too and witnessed the same (although that's where managment draws the line). I thought that place was terrible until I read the thread about Dives.

Did you work at the Pompano one? Its apparently the worst of them and where I worked. Phil doesnt give a crap what goes on there...as long as he makes enough to pay for all his toys! And he pays the cops off BIG time! It's no coincidence that @ 5-6 yrs ago when EVERY club in Pompano was raided....they were the ONLY one not touched!!!

I have SO many stories from that place!!!

BoxOfPandora
05-21-2009, 09:09 PM
WTF?? Where did she think it came from before that?????
My only guess that would give her any credit is she knew more or less there was an other hole, but never really examined the anatomy, and upon closer inspection figured "hey, that hole isn't my sex-and-tampon hole! it must be my pee hole!" and felt the need to express her discovery outloud. Still sounded funny as hell though.

IvytheStripper
05-21-2009, 11:15 PM
Hmmm. Most of mine stem from girls being stupid. I had one girl look at me blankly when I mentioned Keith Richards. Shit even if you aren't a stones fan, chances are you've heard of that drunk old british guy that played Cptn Jack Sparrow's Dad, fell out of a coconut tree, and snorted his dad's ashes.

This is a slightly better one. A girl tells me that she's a Virgo, and what did that mean. I said that means that you're level-headed, organized and pragmatic. She says what does pragmatic mean, I tell her it means that you're practical. She says what does practical mean. I guess I wasn't smart enough to break it down any further than that.

Crow2
05-21-2009, 11:38 PM
Not really overheard - it was said to me this evening as I was leaving..

" Wow! I have a shirt just like that but it doesn't look like that one me."

For once I bit my tongue before I said.. " Yeah, it's because you have no tits."

CherryBomb954
05-22-2009, 03:43 AM
^^^ I guess mine might be a little off topic too, more like overheard/stupid coworker comments......

I was chatting with a few work buddies at the end of the night tonight, and one girl I hadn't seen in a while chimed in "Oh, HEY...I know you...you're that girl that's sad and depressed all the time and hates stripping"

Me: :O "umm....WHAT?!"

Girl: "It's obvious that you hate this job."

Me: (again) :O" Wait........what?! I think you have the wrong person. Besides, why would you call someone out on that even if they were? I don't give a shit about your opinion anyway" (YES I said JUST THAT)

Then I hear her telling someone else as she's walking out "I know that's the girl........blah blah blah"

I HATE when people butt into a conversation I am having, I shut them down, then I hear them talking about me within an earshot. Just mind your own FUCKING business. If you aren't gonna say something nice, just keep your ghetto drunk mouth shut.

CKXXX
05-22-2009, 10:20 AM
Hmmm. Most of mine stem from girls being stupid. I had one girl look at me blankly when I mentioned Keith Richards. Shit even if you aren't a stones fan, chances are you've heard of that drunk old british guy that played Cptn Jack Sparrow's Dad, fell out of a coconut tree, and snorted his dad's ashes.

.
I worked with an 18 yr old once...she was singing along with that Crazy Town Butterfly song. She gets to the end where it says "Girl it's you like Sid and Nancy"

Stops ..says "Who's Sid and Nancy?" I say "Sid Vicious...you know..the Sex Pistols"
Blank look. No idea. Never heard of them.

I felt old.

gypsy_girlchild
05-31-2009, 05:05 PM
Super skinny girl trying on a new set of thongs that are way too big "Hey I can't wear this! My goodies will show!"
Other girl "That's okay a lot of day shift girls be jamming with their clam out!"
*we all giggle*
Another girl quietly "I'm allergic to clams."

Gia2608
06-02-2009, 11:25 AM
Did you work at the Pompano one? Its apparently the worst of them and where I worked. Phil doesnt give a crap what goes on there...as long as he makes enough to pay for all his toys! And he pays the cops off BIG time! It's no coincidence that @ 5-6 yrs ago when EVERY club in Pompano was raided....they were the ONLY one not touched!!!

I have SO many stories from that place!!!


Yes I did- I worked there for a long time and it was always a little seedy but I made money so I didn't care. Toward the end they started hiring wanna-be ghetto girls w/ pimps so the clientele changed and some of the other things that go on there became a little to rampant and I was pretty much run out of the club for not being a hooker.

I don't know that it's really Phil looking the other way as much as managment. Phil was always really nice to the girls and he has a lot going on.

MarvelGirl
06-02-2009, 11:30 AM
why would you call someone out on that even if they were? I don't give a shit about your opinion anyway" (YES I said JUST THAT)




I called someone out like that once, and then I immediately felt bad because I got the impression that she was mildly retarded.

It was such an extreme case though, when this girl got on stage the whole room just died. It was like watching a rape, just horrible, she was soooo incredibly miserable.

CKXXX
06-02-2009, 03:22 PM
Yes I did- I worked there for a long time and it was always a little seedy but I made money so I didn't care. Toward the end they started hiring wanna-be ghetto girls w/ pimps so the clientele changed and some of the other things that go on there became a little to rampant and I was pretty much run out of the club for not being a hooker.

I don't know that it's really Phil looking the other way as much as managment. Phil was always really nice to the girls and he has a lot going on.
When did you work there? I wonder if we worked together!

Yeah Phil was always nice...I had no problem with him personally. But I know he told the staff "you see nothing"


I always made money there. Til it got way over the top...like BJ's being given right next to the stage and all....I couldnt take it anymore.

Of course I was also majorly harassed by one of the managers who was dating a friend of mine(also a dancer there at the time). After he figured out that friend doesnt = threesome. He was a violent SOB too..I looked into getting a restraining order on him but the whole club was going down so it was time for me to move on anyway.

Gia2608
06-02-2009, 09:14 PM
Wil you send me $5 if I guess which manager that was? Haha. I started there in 2003 and left in 2007, we probably did work there together but I also left several times to go elsewhere

CKXXX
06-02-2009, 09:18 PM
Wil you send me $5 if I guess which manager that was? Haha. I started there in 2003 and left in 2007, we probably did work there together but I also left several times to go elsewhere
HAHA..I was there @2003-2004..give or take a few months. Day shift mostly.

Yeah go ahead and guess! My name was the same then...Cameron. What was yours?

Gia2608
06-03-2009, 12:30 PM
It was Gia, the are you the blonde Cameron?

0michelle.michelle0
06-03-2009, 12:43 PM
girl, spread eagle, ass naked in front of the mirror: "My pussy is so dark. It must be because I've fucked a lot of black guys."

"What color is your pussy?" LOL

CKXXX
06-03-2009, 03:46 PM
It was Gia, the are you the blonde Cameron?

Yep! I used to hang out with Tori and Megan all the time. I'm trying to remember you...I vaguely remember the name Gia,but I cant put a face to it.

Gia2608
06-03-2009, 06:44 PM
Yeah I always worked at night but I always came in with another blonde named Corey and we both had extensions and would shed all over the dressing room and Fran would get mad.

CKXXX
06-03-2009, 07:55 PM
Ha...Fran!!!! I rarely worked nights...days were bad enough there for me! I didnt have the energy to deal with the night crawlers that slithered in the door after 9.

CherryBomb954
06-04-2009, 01:43 AM
TOTALLY OFF SUBJECT..........maybe even a thread jack, BUT I don't mean it to be.

Didn't want to start a whole new thread on it, cause I am not sure how well it would do, and normally my threads fail :( but....

What about an "Overheard in the VIP/Champagne room thread"....??

What do you all think?? Cause I am sure there are some good ones. For example, tonight.....my contrubution:

Girl gets done jacking off a customer and has her hands, well um, covered and panics doesn't know what to do. Waitress walks by two seconds later, and asks if they need anything. Girl goes "Umm, ummmm.... can you bring me a tissue???"
hahahhahahahaa

Lucky13
06-04-2009, 11:42 AM
TOTALLY OFF SUBJECT..........maybe even a thread jack, BUT I don't mean it to be.

Didn't want to start a whole new thread on it, cause I am not sure how well it would do, and normally my threads fail :( but....

What about an "Overheard in the VIP/Champagne room thread"....??

What do you all think?? Cause I am sure there are some good ones. For example, tonight.....my contrubution:

Girl gets done jacking off a customer and has her hands, well um, covered and panics doesn't know what to do. Waitress walks by two seconds later, and asks if they need anything. Girl goes "Umm, ummmm.... can you bring me a tissue???"
hahahhahahahaa

Eeeeeew

Athenathefabulous
06-04-2009, 12:00 PM
here's one that made me glad im not a dude:

dancer: "oh my god i love him so much. this might have crazy, but im trying to have his kid. Ive been trying, and i know im a fertile woman but its not working. so im thinking one night im going to sneak a sample of his semen and get a sperm count on him when hes not looking..."

bitches are crazy sometimes.

pinkkitten
06-04-2009, 04:38 PM
really sloppy drunk girl that goes home with customers: "do you have any lip gloss i can borrow? i need to cover this up."

probably referring to some kind of herpes sore.

inThePine
06-04-2009, 04:45 PM
^lol yes I'm sure you were all in a hurry to share a personal item with her, should have asked if she wanted to touch up with some of your mascara too. I almost feel sorry for nasty chicks like that who have no idea how gross they are.

pinkkitten
06-04-2009, 06:46 PM
oh and i totally forgot about this one
i was in the bathroom and a coked out chick runs in there while im in the toilet
cokehead: do you have nails?
me: yes...
cokehead: help me scrape this bag then
me: no, i dont want to get that stuff on me
cokehead: come on, help me please, it wont get on you, please please (by this point she's practically in tears)

i start leaving the stall and she stops me
cokehead: no dont go, they're gonna know what i was doing, they're gonna see
me: i think everyone here knows what you're doing

and i kinda ran off before she had a chance to say anything else.