View Full Version : Overheard in the Dressing Room
CaseyLace
06-19-2010, 09:01 AM
HOOOOLY MOLY:
Dancer 1 (talking about her new shower): Yeah, it's really awesome because the glass is like... translucent.
Dancer 2: What's translucent?
Dancer 1: You know, kind if like transparent.
Dancer 2: *blank stare*
Dancer 1: You know... like see-through??
Dancer 2: what...?
Dancer 1: You can see THROUGH it!!!
Dancer 2: Oh. Why didn't you just SAY that?
Oh dear lord.
Harleigh HellKat
06-19-2010, 11:38 AM
Hahaha I thought everyone learned about transparent and translucent in grammar school... :D
Simone NinaNin
06-20-2010, 12:38 AM
Dancer a
to dancer b: you are a washed up old bitch.
Dancer b to dancer a: if you think I'm a washed up old bitch now, you should have seen me yesterday before I got my Botox.
Harleigh HellKat
06-20-2010, 01:00 AM
rofl worthy!
Simone NinaNin
06-24-2010, 08:57 PM
"I wore a training bra when I was 10 and my uncle made fun of me.
Some people should just stop talking.
bambiblue
06-24-2010, 09:47 PM
Dancer A (from the bathroom stall): Does anyone have a baby wipe?
Dancer B: Honey, your pussy needs more than just a baby wipe - you better douche that cunt til she screams for fucking mercy cause GODDAMN! I can smell you all the way over here!
Dancer A: Thats probably cause I just took a shit.
.
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
OMG that's fucked up..lmao
bambiblue
06-24-2010, 09:50 PM
"just knowing i'm about to touch the stuff makes me gotta take a shit..."
.....a girl getting ready to do a line of blow....(so i assume)
hahahahahahahaha!!!!
gypsydancer
07-04-2010, 04:31 PM
very tall drunk girl staggers into dressing room and says to her friend
"Whats my name here?" but like "whhatzz mai namme hur?"
friend says "what?"
"What do they call me?" but like "waad doo theey kal mee?"
CaseyLace
07-05-2010, 03:48 PM
So... sad enough this is still the same girl...
I walk into the dressing room just in time to hear the end of her (completely sober!) tirade on how "those nasty-ass immigrants should stop hopping the border and coming into our country from New Mexico"!!!!
... seriously? I can't even make this stuff up.
Kylea2
07-05-2010, 05:28 PM
^^^ Wow, someone needs to re-take geography!
Harleigh HellKat
07-05-2010, 07:54 PM
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Wow.
Otoki
07-08-2010, 11:21 AM
I have two!
First one:
A club manager is discussing profit with a dancer who also sells clothes and shoes because when she's not at work the manager sells her stuff for her. She jokes that she barely makes any money off of the clothing as. The manager says "Aw, c'mon! I'd make more than that if I was pimping underwear!"
Second one:
One girl at work is ridiculously, SICKENINGLY bubbly. But she and I get along. I just become more reserved, sarcastic and even less smiley than usual when I'm around her, possibly as a way to even out the bubbly with some Daria-esque apathy. I don't know. It's a source of much amusement for many of the girls, who find the contrast hilarious. ANYWAY, she and I were interacting in our usual way for a while, and another girl points out:
Girl A :"You guys would be great on the strip cub dressing room show."
Bubbly: "Oh my god! There's a show for that? COOL!"
Me: "No. Dude. No. She's just saying that if there WAS a show for that, we would be good on it."
Bubbly (slightly disappointed): "Oh. (Brightens up) Hey! We're like Pinky and the Brain!"
Girl A: "Holy shit, you guys totally are!"
So now I call her Pinky;)
callista
07-15-2010, 03:26 PM
So a girl runs up to another girl in the dressing room at work, and basically motorboats her with her crotch.... The recipent says, "Who's that! I don't recognize that pussy!"
We all lost it. Especially after the first girl then flashed kitty and said, "Well now you will!"
CaseyLace
07-16-2010, 05:46 AM
Hhahahaha. I can't even imagine what that looked like.... ^^^
Molly123
07-21-2010, 08:24 PM
I have officially read all 63 pages of this thread and I *love* this community; these stories are hysterical. I have two:
Stripper A: You're in college, right?
Me: Uh, yeah.. why?
Stripper A: Where the hell is the country Dutch?! Because I've been talking to this Dutch guy and then I go and look and I can't find the country Dutch anywhere on the godd*mn map!
........
Overheard later in the evening:
Stripper B: Okay, I got a joke for you. What did the fish say when it ran into the concrete wall?
Stripper A: Ouch?
Stripper B: No; D*mn! *giggle*
Stripper A: ....... oh. Ha ha ha...
Stripper B: You don't get it, do you?
Stripper A: Psh, yeah I do. I'm not stupid. Fish don't run!
Me: -chokes on my water, goes out to dance- ::)
And as far as the pre-med, pre-law thing goes. Yeah, I tell them I'm pre-med. Because as soon as you start telling a custy about how you're going to be a minister, they start getting awfully uncomfortable ;)
tempest666
07-24-2010, 05:05 AM
Me: (evil grin) "Hey, Dancer X, your epidermis is showing"
Inebriated Dancer: (looking around frantically) Wha? My pussy hanging out! Ohmigod, I need a new tampon"
Manager:(trying to suppress laughter and not fall off ladder) "Shut up Sandi. (To dancer x) Epidermis is your skin, hon. Its always going to show"
tempest666
07-24-2010, 05:07 AM
Ooops seems I involuntarily created the emoticon for a mad face. Mea culpa.
miamia4me
07-24-2010, 05:15 AM
Those silly stripper jokes are soo funny. I loved the Dutch one..classic.
tempest666
07-24-2010, 05:43 AM
And I can't forget my time in Missouri:
Dancer A: "Are you from Mexico? Your English is so good!"
Me: "No, I'm from New Mexico"
Dancer A: "Oh, don't worry about immigration picking you up, hon. We'll hide you real good if anything happens"
Me: "But you don't have to hide me. I am a citizen of the United States!"
Harleigh HellKat
07-24-2010, 09:51 PM
hahahaha @ New Mexico. Someone needs to re-learn the 50 states. I've literally met people who don't know Hawaii is a state though! It saddens me.
Molly123
07-26-2010, 08:26 PM
At least they're supportive lol
Kylea2
07-26-2010, 08:32 PM
With the number of spelling errors often seen on the public & government signs in NM it does leave one to wonder...
Love you Tempest! :-)
tempest666
07-26-2010, 08:52 PM
<3 u to Kylea! Actually I have a really great story about fucked up signage in El Paso. On the bridge from El Paso to Juarez they fucked up some of the translations. One sign advising the legal drinking age fucked up and omitted the squiggly thing called the tilde, changing the meaning from year to anus. Ano (with the tilde) is year while ano (without the tilde) is anus.
Kylea2
07-26-2010, 09:35 PM
^^^ Pure awesome!
tempest666
07-26-2010, 10:50 PM
Yeah 18 anuses is a little much lol
Katrina312
08-03-2010, 12:20 PM
I just went back to work and I had some mosquito bites. Anyways, a girl says "Omg, I didn't know mosquitos, bit black people". Wow, I didn't know mosquitos had a racial preference either LOL! That comment was so ridiculous.
pixierocksonthepole
08-03-2010, 12:21 PM
I just went back to work and I had some mosquito bites. Anyways, a girl says "Omg, I didn't know mosquitos, bit black people". Wow, I didn't know mosquitos had a racial preference either LOL! That comment was so ridiculous.
wow. i'm sorry you have to work with someone like that. how dense.
Kylea2
08-03-2010, 01:09 PM
^^^ Agreed! That girl must be totally clueless.
CaseyLace
08-05-2010, 07:18 AM
That's awful. Some people's stupidity is beyond words...
Also, I almost died laughing reading the anus thing... Thanks, Tempest! :D
Luna Minsky
08-06-2010, 12:15 AM
Said by a regular club patron who is a high profile defense lawyer and who has been trying to "court" me for a while (completely drunk, at 2am):
"Luna, I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that I'm finally going to take you home with me tonight. The bad news is that we have to get it over with quickly cuz I have a murder trial first thing in the morning." :(
Christyismyalias
08-20-2010, 03:37 AM
"Girl you can get anything at the beauty supply store in the hood! You need beauty, you got it, you need shoes, you got it. You need some damn living room furniture, you got it! It's a one stop shop!"
Awesome :)
pixierocksonthepole
08-20-2010, 07:12 AM
"Girl you can get anything at the beauty supply store in the hood! You need beauty, you got it, you need shoes, you got it. You need some damn living room furniture, you got it! It's a one stop shop!"
Awesome :)
It's true!!!! I've been to a few of them lol.
ivygirl
08-20-2010, 08:49 PM
Pregnant girl: "I"m starving!"
Me: "So eat something."
Preggo: "My stomach is growling...will it eat my baby?"
:|
pixierocksonthepole
08-21-2010, 02:58 PM
O-0 thats terrifying
sunshine16
08-21-2010, 06:50 PM
^Please tell me she was kidding? lol? I hope?
MissMynxx
08-31-2010, 03:43 AM
Last week, a girl who's dumb as a bag of rocks but a total sweetheart came out with this gem:
Dancer: *goes to phone to call DJ* Hey, um ... I have this black person customer out there that I'm trying to impress. Can you play like ... black people music?
*whole dressing room goes silent*
Dancer: I dunno! Black people music!
*everyone begins to hold in laughter*
Dancer: 'kay! Thanks!
...it was really, really funny. We have a few VERY black girls in our club who were back there and we were just all shocked and amazed. It was so funny. He wound up putting her up to Michael Jackson, I think. Neutral-ish, recognizable songs. We were just all so weirded out. I'm one of the whitest girls in that club and I have a list of music I know well so I can appeal to any kind of customer I may need to. Including both the younger and older "black people customers". ::)
strippername
08-31-2010, 01:21 PM
Dingbat 1 -- "I can't move to Utah! I won't make any money...they are all Amish."
Dancer-- "You mean Mormon."
Dingbat 1-- "Mormon and Amish. I can't go anyway...I start law school in the summer."
All I could thing was "YEAH, RIGHT!!!"
Kylea2
08-31-2010, 03:09 PM
^^^ That's the lawyer that will never have much business!
pdxslc
09-09-2010, 06:07 PM
Dingbat 1 -- "I can't move to Utah! I won't make any money...they are all Amish."
Dancer-- "You mean Mormon."
Dingbat 1-- "Mormon and Amish. I can't go anyway...I start law school in the summer."
All I could thing was "YEAH, RIGHT!!!"
I make money in Utah... Though, I am Mormon, haha.
Otoki
09-26-2010, 07:30 PM
Ok, so at this club they share a building with a bar downstairs. The entrance/exit for the club is some stairs that run against the DR wall. There's a door on that wall, but it's been painted shut for years. One of my girls and I are back there taking a break before stage when someone starts knocking on the door. Persistently. Eventually we gather that it's a drunk idiot who is convinced that it's a door to the outside. Let me explain: the door he was looking for should have been one meter to his right. For serious. One meter. Fully visible.
So we start yelling through the door that it's not an exit, and he stopped for a bit, and then knocked again, begging to let him in/out. He didn't go away until I stood right by the door and yelled very loudly and slowly:
"OK, LISTEN TO THE WORDS I AM SAYING. THIS DOOR IS NOT AN EXIT. IT DOES NOT OPEN. IF YOU TURN TO YOUR RIGHT OR BEHIND YOU THE DOOR YOU WANT SHOULD BE RIGHT THERE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS I JUST SAID?"
Sweet silence followed. It was probably the funniest, stupidest exchange I've ever had with someone at work, and they weren't even our customer:P
Tasha_xoxo
09-27-2010, 12:00 AM
^^ ewwwwwww...............
haha gross!
Tasha_xoxo
09-27-2010, 12:25 AM
"So and so fucked me in the ass last night so hard it hurts to fart."
hahah OMG thats so fuckin funny,,lol. hahhaa.
Kylea2
11-27-2010, 11:00 AM
I'm fixing myself up in the dressing room last night & Carrie (club owner & mother of 3) is talking to the manager about her boyfriend (who is a judge). She is repeating the conversation to her boyfriend from the night before:
"I told you @ the beginning of this relationship that you could either have blowjobs or brownies... & I don't have Betty Crocker stamped on my forehead!"
rock_n_roll_dream
11-29-2010, 08:06 PM
Damn...all these girls talking about making $10,000 or more on a night....holy sh*t! I'd take that money and be in line so damn fast to get my boobs done again!!! :)
kaiarose
12-01-2010, 03:16 PM
Damn...all these girls talking about making $10,000 or more on a night....holy sh*t! I'd take that money and be in line so damn fast to get my boobs done again!!! :)
Whoa, $10,000 :O Where is that mentioned at??! I've never heard of a girl making that much in a night!! Lies, I tell you!! Lies!! LOL
"I'm always on my period when I'm arrested." /:O
4everresolutions
12-01-2010, 06:06 PM
Wow.....
DesuvsDeath
12-01-2010, 07:02 PM
"How do you say this word? Subtections? Subteckions? Substecetions?"
...The word was 'subsections'. She later flunked out of beauty school.
rubyredlipsss
12-01-2010, 09:19 PM
^LOL.
DesuvsDeath
12-01-2010, 09:21 PM
She'd also quit massage school because that was too hard, she told me.
This is the one I think I've mentioned before who was telling me all about how her family wanted her to become a lawyer because she was so smart.